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The Neighborhood - Season 8 Episode 19 -
Welcome to Kalamazoo?
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Welcome to Kalamazoo?
tele: https://t.me/TopFilmUSA1
#film#shows#usa#usashows#hot#filmhot
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FunTranscript
00:04what are we gonna do Dave I don't know you texted Calvin and Tina maybe going to Kalamazoo is not
00:10so crazy I don't know how this happened no I pride myself on always texting with precision
00:17I don't even care that the kids say periods aren't cool anymore I punctuate explanation
00:23point we aren't moving to Kalamazoo we just have to tell them we aren't moving right but we're not
00:34moving right do you think we are no unless you think we should I don't know what I think Calvin
00:45and Tina haven't replied yet they're probably freaking out losing their minds okay now guess
00:52this one breathe no Calvin come on dig deeper wait I know this one pepper jack really Calvin
01:08pepper jack this is for a wedding not subway hey so you're obviously wondering what that text meant
01:17what text uh something about Kalamazoo yeah no that's the one and just so you know it's not
01:22what you think we weren't thinking about it oh well good never mind then I mean Calvin you're a man
01:31of
01:31the world so I don't need to tell you what going to Kalamazoo really means it's a sex thing yep
01:42yeah that's what it is it's a sex thing let's go to Kalamazoo baby
01:48anyway glad we cleared that up bye bye yeah we are DTK
01:53welcome to the block welcome to the neighborhood welcome to the
02:00oh well well hey handsome um excuse me miss I have to tell you that I am engaged
02:09well that won't stop me I've been known to wreck a home
02:25I'm sorry this would be easier if you'd stand still and you went over there
02:35sorry my fiance is just so hot
02:40oh so uh we need to talk groomsmen the network wants to add three more say what
02:48they're trying to launch a spin-off and so it's important to them that you use
02:52that guy from Sugar Ray and at least one property brother
02:57well am I still the groom I know I'm sorry thank you for putting up with my crazy life
03:04uh I get it it's just uh I don't even know those guys oh the network is setting you up
03:09on a zoom
03:10with them on Friday but they are on the east coast so it is at 5 a.m
03:17I love you
03:20so did you talk to Chip yes and uh having a job interview with my mom's boyfriend wasn't awkward
03:28at all he only spent the first five minutes talking about how she has the gams of a 25 year
03:35old
03:38but what about the job offer it's crazy yeah I figured it'd actually be the VP of human resources
03:46I'd get to rebuild the department from the ground up oh crazy in a good way how's the money it's
03:56crazy
03:58also in a good way yes but that doesn't change the fact that the job is still in Michigan which
04:06is
04:06crazy in a bad way besides what would you even do there I mean I could call Melissa she's principal
04:14at my old school now what happened to principal Kersey he quit after he won amazing race
04:21hey guys um me and Esme are going to hang out and do our homework
04:25yeah maybe we should continue this conversation in the kitchen
04:31so is Esme his girlfriend now he won't say but have you noticed he started bathing
04:39you know if he likes her it won't be any easier to talk to him about Michigan
04:44we can't just assume we need a snack we have apples Esme says all apples are blood apples
04:53well there are also peanut butter pretzels Gemma
05:00do you think Esme is mute
05:05this decision isn't just going to affect Grover I mean what about the butlers Calvin would be
05:09devastated if I left yes and who would teen even get to replace me in the book club we keep
05:15talking
05:15about starting Esme's done a 180 on apples I think carnations could be pretty on the tables
05:28really Courtney I thought we discussed this yesterday oh right you told me carnations
05:33are cheap supermarket flowers no we agreed that carnations are cheap supermarket flowers
05:42are you okay yeah I'm just a little spacey today oh you know what I bought the cutest napkin rings
05:48up for
05:48your approval of course is my mama steamrolling you again it's fine honestly I would be happy just
05:58getting married at the courthouse all that matters is that I'm marrying you I'm sorry my mom shot down
06:06on your idea of a hobbit wedding yeah she was all it's a wedding I do not want to see
06:12people's feet
06:16were you just imitating me what oh that's crazy
06:23thanks for letting us borrow these for the reception Dave you know it's funny Calvin when I bought these
06:29for my kombucha party you scoffed at me oh yeah I was scoffing at the boots Dave and now low
06:36and
06:36behold you want to borrow them huh oh have the tables have turned you know I can make this punch
06:42in the
06:42trash can you thanks Melissa I'll talk to Dave about it that sounds like a dream opportunity hello
06:52well what's the dream opportunity it's an investment opportunity it's a Ponzi scheme but we're at the top
07:00we'd let you in but you'd be at the bottom and you don't want to be at the bottom yeah
07:05you don't even
07:19think but my mom's boyfriend offered me a job that is surprisingly not bad oh all right but it's in
07:28Kalamazoo Kalamazoo that's in Michigan we know but it's vice president of a human resource department
07:39for a pretty big company I know but I said it's in Michigan okay babe babe they can't know it's
07:46in
07:46Michigan but good for you Dave you're back in the game well look Calvin it probably won't happen so
07:52don't worry about it oh what does this mean for our book club I know no we'll never read the
07:59color purple
08:22what is wrong with you Calvin our best friends are thinking about moving away and you're all like
08:27oh good for you Dave back in the game come on Tina I mean after all he's been through this
08:35year
08:35he needed a win well baby do you know where Kalamazoo is oh I got this one Michigan look Tina
08:44don't worry
08:46they're not going anywhere how do you know that it's Dave he always gets these harebrained ideas and
08:52he never follows through on any of them oh baby what if you're wrong you guys are close wouldn't
08:58it be weird if he was gone well it's weird having him here I just got used to it damn
09:06old boots smell
09:07like Fritos you don't like it I mean it's a toast for your brother's wedding do you really want to
09:19bring up the time he got his arm caught in a claw machine because he was trying to get a
09:23Furby see the
09:26funny part is he was stuck so long he wet himself no hey y'all actually uh Marty don't worry
09:41about the
09:41toast because the network just told us they've commissioned Aaron Sorkin to write it wait so I'm
09:48supposed to read somebody else's toast what no no no no no no man don't worry about it cuz Marshawn
09:55Lynch
09:55is gonna read it look I'm sorry Marty there's nothing I can do you know Sadie signed the
10:01contract any major life event the network owns it I guess I'll never get to tell my Furby story you
10:09were gonna tell that story at my wedding look anyway man look it's out of my hands this whole wedding
10:23is
10:23about Mercedes show I'm just an extra in it huh okay here's a crazy idea what if you and Mercedes
10:32get
10:32married with me and Courtney next week wait a minute seriously why not I mean you could do it
10:38secretly you still have your big one on TV next month but your real vows they'll be with your family
10:44and
10:44friends with us I mean little girl I would love that man more than anything are you sure Courtney will
10:51be cool with this oh man no question if more of a mama we probably be getting married at the
10:54courthouse or the Shire okay look this is great man thank you thank you I'm gonna run it by Sadie
11:02thank
11:03you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you you're welcome what is he talking about genius idea
11:12okay Malcolm was bumming about his fake wedding so I told him he could piggyback on our wedding
11:17piggyback right so when we do our vows they'll do theirs same guest same place all good but that's
11:26our wedding right but you said we'd go to the courthouse yeah but it's still our wedding our day and
11:35you
11:35just gave away half of our day without even asking me I thought you said you didn't care of course
11:41I
11:42don't care I'm sorry I'm sorry babe look I'll tell Malcolm look calling Malcolm and a voicemail
11:58Michigan look Grover I know it's a lot to absorb but your mother and I respect that you're a person
12:03and that you have feelings exactly and as an equal member of this family you get an equal vote okay
12:10I
12:10don't know whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa we haven't even discussed the pros and the cons yet okay
12:18con I just started high school con I'm one of the cool kids there and con I almost kind of
12:27have a
12:27girlfriend in a way believe me we know leaving your friends would be hard yeah but it's the hardest part
12:34but you'd make new friends in Kalamazoo and think about the money that we would make selling this house
12:39in Michigan we could buy a huge house with a pool oh yeah everybody wants to be friends with a
12:45kid
12:45with the pool I can't swim oh come on Grover yes you can no no I forgot how
12:55Grover I know this is a big ask but you used to love it there and I could go back
13:01to teaching which is my
13:03passion well but what does it matter you guys have obviously made up your minds Dave have we made up
13:11our
13:11minds it looks that way okay well then why did you even ask me because we respect your opinion
13:22we're going against it but we respect it okay democracy sucks I am never voting again you're gonna
13:34have to Michigan is a swing state hey hey is Daphne still down for her now yeah all right I'll
13:47get her
13:47unless you want to should we discuss it first I will get her great great great great same page I
13:59support you
14:02what did you do something insensitive and she reacted quite vigorously and I was very much caught off
14:09guard oh she has been emotional and she's been forgetting things very interesting
14:19blue blue it's blue
14:22yes it's blue
14:34uh Mrs. B what's going on
14:42you're pregnant
14:45again
14:45wait what is that what is that possible no maybe I've been so stressed about the wedding I guess I
14:54haven't been paying attention yeah and we have been a little cavalier oh my god oh cover your ears
15:03guys I'm gonna be a grandma
15:09I'm gonna be a grandma again
15:13so Malcolm did you hear the news uh people over on Marengo heard
15:21congratulations
15:23hey let's let's not let's not get ahead of ourselves okay we don't know for sure yet
15:26oh I do
15:28well what an exciting day Malcolm told me all about the plan I love it so much
15:34what plan uh Malcolm uh we have to discuss the plan
15:41I'm sorry is there a problem with the plan
15:45oh wait wait a minute now what damn plan are y'all talking about and aren't you a vegetarian
15:50uh no ma she's a pescatarian hmm either way she's eating a half a pound of beef wrapped in bacon
15:57I know it's weird I've just been craving red meat lately
16:00hmm
16:06I'm sorry what's happening
16:09oh my god
16:11oh oh oh cover your ears
16:13why
16:14I'm a grandma again
16:16and again
16:25you know we haven't really had any girl time together but uh here we are
16:30peeing on sticks
16:33yep
16:36maybe we should have used a coaster
16:38uh-huh
16:41okay look look this is torture how long do pregnancy tests take
16:44okay just breathe son maybe your mama's wrong
16:47you think so
16:48not a chance
16:49no not at all
16:52now that we're stick sisters
16:54you've been part of this family a lot longer than I have
16:57are they um crazy
17:00you said it
17:03yeah but don't worry it's a good crazy
17:05Mr. B he acts hard
17:08big softy
17:10um yeah
17:12totally I can see that
17:14and Tina
17:15oh she's hard
17:19but I love her to death
17:22and Sadie
17:23I'd be honored
17:24as your stick sister
17:26to share my wedding with you
17:28oh
17:32oh my god
17:36oh come on come on come on
17:38spill spill
17:39turns out we're both
17:40I told you
17:41I told you
17:43who is the queen
17:44who is the queen
17:46oh my god
17:47I'm so big grandma
17:48I'm so big grandma
17:49I'm dead
17:50oh this is so wonderful
17:51this is oh my god
17:53whoa whoa son son I got you
17:54hold on I can't get them off
17:56I can't get them off
17:57it's okay
17:58oh my goodness
17:59hey good timing
18:00great news
18:01Courtney and Mercedes
18:03are both pregnant
18:04oh that's fantastic
18:05oh so fantastic
18:07this is cause for a celebration
18:09champagne for everybody
18:10oh yeah
18:11yeah yeah
18:12yeah
18:12yeah but everybody
18:14except you two
18:15everybody who is not pregnant
18:17we're getting wasted
18:18yes
18:18uh Calvin
18:24can I talk to you for a second
18:27yes Dave
18:28Dave we have peach juice
18:30if you want to make a bellini
18:35you know me so well
18:38which is what makes this so hard
18:42it's about the job
18:43oh man
18:45that's tough
18:46look don't worry Dave
18:48another opportunity will come along
18:50plus Michigan
18:52you dodged a bullet
18:56yeah no Calvin
18:57um
18:58I'm gonna take the job
19:02we're moving
19:04oh
19:05really
19:07wow
19:08look I hate to tell you
19:09while you're celebrating
19:10something so special
19:11I just I
19:11I couldn't keep it inside
19:14good for you Dave
19:15you know what
19:16happy for you
19:19you are
19:19yes
19:20yes man
19:22this is good news
19:23hold on
19:24Calvin please
19:25come on
19:27this is hard for me
19:28it must be hard for you
19:31why would it be hard for me
19:34because we're best friends
19:36yeah
19:37we're friends
19:38yeah
19:39Calvin we're
19:40we're best friends
19:43okay
19:43Dave
19:44we're next door neighbors
19:45I've had neighbors before you
19:47and I'll have neighbors after you
19:49so now I'm just a neighbor
19:51I mean
19:53Calvin would
19:54just a neighbor
19:55have named a star after you
19:58I told you
19:59I didn't want no damn star
20:01well
20:02too bad
20:03it's right there
20:04oh yeah
20:05which one
20:07it's one
20:08it's
20:09it should be
20:10there's a lot of stars up there
20:12it's somewhere in the crab nebula
20:14look
20:15the point is
20:16I'm trying to tell you how hard this is for me
20:18why can't you admit that it's hard for you too
20:21well maybe it's just not hard for me
20:23now come on man
20:24let's go in here and have a bellini
20:25or do you want to stay out here and look for your damn star
20:32it's your damn star Calvin
20:35whatever Dave
20:36come on here
21:06journey down in
21:06this next Monday
21:068 7 central
21:08now serving
21:09news
21:09comedy
21:10dmv
21:11cbs next
21:13is
21:13good
21:13you
21:13you
21:14you
21:15you
21:15you
21:15you
21:15you
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