- 5 hours ago
Virgin Island (2025) Season 2 Episode 2
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:04I'm nervous. I'm going to take it one step at a time. I'm absolutely petrified.
00:10Twelve virgins are travelling to a unique island retreat that could change their lives forever.
00:18This has made me the strangest day of my life.
00:21Being a virgin at the age of 22 feels very lonely. I've just sort of given up all hope.
00:28In a world saturated with sex, more young adults than ever are caught in an intimacy epidemic.
00:35The thought of having sex with someone scares me.
00:38It gives me the ick. I don't feel confident.
00:40I'm missing out. Terrified at the thought of it.
00:42Nerve-racking. Gut-wrenching. Embarrassing.
00:45All I think about is what I'm going to get wrong.
00:48Can you point to the outer labia?
00:51Nope.
00:54Now...
00:56They're getting a crash course in intimacy.
00:59Social media, porn, dating apps. There are so many negative messages and we can help them blossom.
01:06Use it by stimulating the area.
01:08Guided by a team of experts.
01:10You see yourself as...
01:12Propulsive.
01:13They'll confront their insecurities.
01:15I'm hiding how upset I actually feel.
01:18Exploring intimacy.
01:21In every form.
01:23Yes.
01:24Yes.
01:24Good.
01:26And maybe...
01:27Have sex with a trained therapist.
01:31Desperate times call for desperate measures.
01:35Or even one another.
01:36Why are you nervous around me?
01:38I don't know.
01:39It's so good.
01:41I really do need to change my life.
01:43The question is...
01:45Get a room, guys!
01:46...who will finally be ready...
01:49Just, like, get a bit anxious.
01:51...to go all the way...
01:52Touching me here, girl?
01:54Mm-hmm.
01:54...on Virgin Island.
02:01In the first phase of the course...
02:04Shame really interrupts pleasure.
02:08The group confronted their shame.
02:10Now you're having kids.
02:12Bertie made small steps forward.
02:15What do you think?
02:15Let's go!
02:16But witnessing intimacy...
02:19...stared up Joy's feelings of religious shame.
02:22I literally thought that God cursed me with vaginismus...
02:25...to stop me from having sex.
02:27And Alex revealed the extent of his anxiety.
02:30Penny for your silence.
02:32The main overriding thing is still that worry...
02:35...of not getting an erection.
02:37The phase ended.
02:38For me, shame is feeling ugly.
02:42Sorry.
02:43With the group letting their shame...
02:44Let it go!
02:46Let it go!
02:47Let it go!
02:48Go up in flames.
02:51Now, things are set to escalate.
02:53Imagine that your cock is going inside my vagina.
02:56With the second phase of the course.
02:58Good.
03:00Turn-ons.
03:01In society, a lot of people feel ashamed to talk about sex.
03:05It can be very embarrassing.
03:07Take a moment to look at your vulva.
03:09But to have a really fulfilling sex life, you have to know what turns you on.
03:24It's the morning of day three on Virgin Island.
03:28Oh, here we go then.
03:31And time for the group to discover what's in store over the next two days.
03:35The next phase is turn-ons.
03:38I think turn-ons might involve a lot of dirty talk.
03:42It is quite a step up from hugging and stroking people's arms.
03:45Talking about, like, what turns you on is a private thing.
03:48But I guess nothing is private on this island.
03:52Morning.
03:54I'm feeling nervous and tense over this.
03:59It's going to be a very big challenge.
04:03Turn-ons, guys.
04:04Your aim is to find everyone's turn-ons.
04:08The thing is, I know all my turn-ons, but talking about it feels quite daunting.
04:14If one of the guys gets a boner, like, they're going to be like,
04:16we're so proud of you.
04:17We're proud.
04:19I'm very nervous.
04:21It just all feels like something I'm not allowed to think about.
04:24Like, oh, my gosh.
04:25No, no, no, no, no, no.
04:31You ready to know your turn-ons?
04:33No.
04:34Do you know your turn-ons now?
04:35Harry Styles.
04:37The group may be sexual beginners.
04:40Hi.
04:42But Celeste and Danielle want them to imagine they're experts
04:45and embrace their turn-ons.
04:51People get really confused.
04:53They're like, what turns me on?
04:54Is it positions?
04:55Or do I need to buy a new toy?
04:57But what really turns us on is the feeling that we get during sex.
05:03We call this our core desires.
05:06This is the cornerstone of the whole course.
05:09Everyone should know their core desires.
05:10If you want to have an amazing sex life,
05:12find out what you want to feel during sex and tell your partners.
05:16For me, in sex, it's all about feeling very special.
05:20I want to feel powerful.
05:22I want to feel like they're lucky to have me.
05:26And for me, I really like to feel like I'm the queen.
05:30People have many different feelings that they want to have during sex,
05:34and all of them are beautiful.
05:35We don't shame any of them.
05:38So you can just lie down, relax.
05:42To get them in the mood, Danielle begins with a visualization exercise.
05:48I wanted to start thinking about a fantasy that you might be having.
05:54It can be something that you saw in a movie or some erotics that you read.
06:01And then start noticing what is the feeling that you want to feel in that moment.
06:10You might want to feel loved or precious.
06:15You might want to feel masterful, desired.
06:23Whenever you're ready, come back, sit at the edge of your mat.
06:29With their core desires in mind...
06:33..the experts want the group to write them down on a stone and share with each other.
06:39Can I just play Noughts and Crosses?
06:41Yeah.
06:55OK, so who feel like they're ready to come up?
07:01I'm going to go.
07:01Great, wonderful.
07:03For Joy, her desires have always been complicated.
07:07When I was in year seven and eight, I thought it wasn't OK to be gay.
07:13I spoke to a church pastor when he started going on a rant
07:17about gay people being really sexual and slutty and promiscuous.
07:21And I realized myself that I was bisexual.
07:26But sex with a woman is like an undiscovered landscape.
07:30I do feel a bit guilty for wanting to explore it.
07:35So I put cherished, revered, lost in the moment, free and ultimately ravished.
07:46Yay! That's my girl!
07:50APPLAUSE
07:51As others step up...
07:53I'll do it.
07:54..some themes emerge.
07:55For me, I think the most important thing is to feel wanted.
07:58Feeling wanted...
07:59I put wanted...
08:01I've mainly put wanted.
08:02..and appreciated are common desires.
08:05I want to feel loved.
08:06Loved. Everyone wants to feel loved.
08:08But I've only got pampered on mine.
08:10Special.
08:11Praised.
08:11And then we feel like nice and have a safe space.
08:14While some want to be dominated...
08:16I want to feel on edge and teased.
08:18Dominated.
08:20I feel like a little bit of a perv, I'm telling you this, but, yeah.
08:22Oh, we love pervs.
08:23We love pervs.
08:27So far, only 24-year-old Bertie hasn't stepped up.
08:33I do a lot of volunteering work in charity fundraising events.
08:39I'm the one to try and get a lot of rich people to give money for charity.
08:44You'll be disappointed in it, but...
08:45But when it comes to discussing, you know, sexual things...
08:50I don't see myself as a confident player.
08:54I think turn-ons, especially from the more sexual aspect,
09:01should not be shared in front of everybody.
09:03It should be kept as a secret between you and your partner,
09:07which is why I wrote,
09:09I have turn-ons, but I'm not sharing them in front of everyone.
09:12It should only be a secret between you and your partner.
09:15That's about it, really.
09:30How are we all feeling?
09:32I really liked it.
09:33Yeah.
09:33I was just like, oh, wow, this feels a bit different.
09:37It felt something in my nipples, like, as well, you know what I mean?
09:39Oh, yeah?
09:40Yeah.
09:40Like, it felt a bit...
09:44The turn-ons exercise may have worked for some.
09:46When I go home, if I'm ever in a relationship with someone,
09:49I'm just going to put it by their bedside table.
09:51Turn-ons!
09:56But Bertie is just not feeling it.
09:58I was the only person in the group to not do it.
10:01I didn't want to, like, say things in front of everybody, you know?
10:04Yeah.
10:04I do kind of feel like I've been, like, the odd one out in the group now.
10:08I feel like I've just taken a bit of a setback after that.
10:12It certainly wasn't the most enjoyable workshop, put it that way.
10:15I felt a bit of uncomfortableness, like, everywhere, really.
10:24To help the group discover their turn-ons...
10:27Who's got the one-to-ones today, mate?
10:29..they'll all have one-on-ones.
10:31You've got Elil.
10:32Elil, OK.
10:34Which one's Elil?
10:35She's a sexological body-worker.
10:37Ireland vibes.
10:40Starting with Alex, who has struggled to get turned on
10:43under the pressure of intimacy.
10:46Sex has been a sense of anxiety for me.
10:50Growing up, my dad was quite emotionally repressed himself.
10:53We had sex education in school at year five,
10:55and I talked to my dad about it, and he said,
10:58oh, that's rude, don't talk about that.
11:01I then became so embarrassed to talk or think about sex.
11:05Whenever sex or relationships or anything came on TV,
11:09I used to leave the room.
11:13It's estimated that half of modern men
11:16have experienced performance anxiety.
11:19To help Alex, sexological body-worker Elil plans to get physical.
11:24I want to work with him on receiving touch from me
11:27and recognizing when that performance anxiety kicks in
11:31and letting me know what he needs in order to bring arousal up.
11:35So hopefully the erections will come when he has a lot of pleasure.
11:40Hello.
11:44So the idea of today is for us to do full-body pleasure mapping.
11:49You're going to be guiding the whole thing.
11:52Whenever you feel yourself starting to worry about performance,
11:57you can just say, like, can we slow down?
12:01So take your clothes off.
12:04I think I'd like to keep my boxers on.
12:07Yeah. OK.
12:08Pleasure mapping is an exercise where Elil touches Alex all over his body.
12:13So we can start laying down.
12:16Including his genitals.
12:18So Alex can lie back and concentrate on pleasure.
12:22Is this the touch that you want?
12:24Yeah.
12:27I've heard three people that I would describe as a girlfriend.
12:33But I never had sex with anyone.
12:36The first time I tried, I had a panic attack.
12:38I was so nervous I couldn't get an erection.
12:40And I then convinced myself that sex is something, I guess, scary or nerve-wracking.
12:48It's constantly playing on my mind.
12:51Is this the right speed?
12:53Yeah, that's great.
12:57Very erotic.
12:59So touching close to your underwear line, it's almost like teasing you.
13:03Yeah.
13:04All right.
13:06What are you noticing?
13:08Getting more turned on.
13:10Mm-hm.
13:11Really getting, like, excited.
13:13Mm-hm.
13:15It felt really nice when you were brushing past my genitals.
13:17Would you like me to do that?
13:19Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:22And I love when you move like that.
13:25It kind of really lets me know that you're enjoying yourself.
13:38Amazing.
13:39All right.
13:42Amazing.
13:43Amazing, amazing, amazing, amazing.
13:46I'm going to take my hand off very slowly.
13:51So, did you feel me fully aroused?
13:54Yeah.
13:55Could you feel you fully aroused?
13:57Yeah, yeah.
13:58Amazing.
14:01Have you ever felt aroused like that with someone?
14:04Not like that, not to the point where I'm, like, moving my hips and feeling tingly.
14:09You are very, very erect.
14:11Yeah.
14:11You did so good.
14:13Thank you so much.
14:15Bye-bye.
14:16I don't think I've ever felt that sort of level of eroticism before.
14:20She's just had such a calming presence.
14:21So, yeah, feeling really good and sort of inspires confidence going forward.
14:30Hey, guys.
14:31Good.
14:31How did your one-on-one go?
14:32Good.
14:33It went into genital touching and, yeah, that felt really good.
14:37I bet.
14:48It was really windy last night.
14:50Yeah.
14:51Like, for a while, I think, like, my tent was going to blow away.
14:54Oh, my God, do a Dorothy.
14:55Go to the yellow brick road.
14:57Celeste and Danielle have turned into a tin man and a scarecrow.
15:01I'd probably be the lion because I'm the cowardly one.
15:06It's the afternoon on Virgin Island.
15:09How does that feel?
15:11Yeah.
15:11Yeah, it feels good.
15:12As the one-on-one sessions continue.
15:15It's good.
15:16You seem more open to me.
15:18Just baby steps.
15:20The turn-on phase of the course is gathering pace.
15:23May I direct you in touching my breasts?
15:27Yeah.
15:27Yes.
15:28And a little more pressure.
15:30OK.
15:31Yeah.
15:33And the group continues to open up to each other.
15:36When I was at school, all the boys, like, would walk past and be like,
15:41oh, you're all lesbians because you go to an all-girls school.
15:43Yeah.
15:44When I was, like, 12, I remember thinking, oh, my gosh, why has God given me so many gay
15:49friends?
15:49I now have to convert all of them.
15:51It took me a couple of years to realise that I was, in fact, one of them.
15:57Years of sexual anxiety have taken a physical toll on Joy.
16:02I have vaginismus.
16:03This physical and psychological problem, it causes pain.
16:07If I can't insert a finger into my vagina, you know, how can I physically have sex?
16:12With guidance from Elil, she'll learn how to relax her body around touch.
16:16We can actually practise towards penetration in a very slow process, creating an alignment
16:25between what the head wants to do and what the body actually feels comfortable with.
16:36So, our attention for today is if you feel comfortable, we can explore the opening of your vagina.
16:42Sometimes that's been hard because it all, like, closed up.
16:46Yeah.
16:46Maybe we can see it today.
16:51I want you to just start by maybe putting your hands on your vulva.
16:55Yeah.
16:57Would you like to have a look where you're touching?
17:00Elil encourages Joy to explore her body.
17:03Oh, my gosh, this is so weird.
17:04Can you see?
17:05And in doing so, change the way she feels about it.
17:09Take a moment to look at your vulva and connect to her.
17:13Mm.
17:15She's beautiful.
17:16It's weird because I feel like she looks ugly.
17:19When I was 12, I had this realisation that I had been masturbating.
17:24I went to Christian camp, and there was this call to come to the front for prayer for sexual sin.
17:31I felt convicted.
17:32Like, oh, my gosh, they're speaking about me.
17:34I've sinned.
17:35And I told my youth pastor, and then she staged an intervention.
17:41Yeah.
17:42It stuck with me.
17:43It's been hard to get that out of my head.
17:45And now I want to be free to explore a sexual side to myself.
17:49I want to enjoy my life and accept myself.
17:54So what part are you curious about?
17:57I think I want to just touch the outer labia.
18:01Awesome.
18:02You can do like that.
18:04You can, like, bring a little bit of vibration.
18:07Okay.
18:09That's quite nice.
18:10Bit of rousing.
18:12Mm-hmm. Yeah.
18:12Yeah.
18:13Do you want to try it with oil?
18:14Yeah.
18:17Put it all over your vulva.
18:20Mm-hmm.
18:22It does feel totally different.
18:24Yeah.
18:25Can you see your opening?
18:27You can see a tiny dot there?
18:28Yeah.
18:29So that's your clit.
18:31Oh, that's so interesting.
18:32The clit is like a miniature penis.
18:34You will feel there's like a shaft.
18:37See if you can feel the shaft.
18:39Okay.
18:41Sexological bodywork includes one-way touch.
18:44Can I? Yeah.
18:46Here.
18:47Oh.
18:49Allowing a lil with consent to help Joy discover pleasure.
18:54So how does it feel?
18:55It feels really good.
18:57I can feel arousal.
18:59That's new.
19:06Awesome.
19:08Thank you very much for giving me this experience.
19:11It's such a precious feeling.
19:13It feels really.
19:15Really special.
19:17It's like she's safe.
19:20She's safe.
19:20She's good.
19:22You got her.
19:24Yeah.
19:25And I know what she looks like now as well.
19:34Hiya.
19:35How was your thingy?
19:37Um, it was really good.
19:40Was it?
19:40Yeah, it was really good.
19:41She was like, you need to focus on what feels good for you.
19:44Yeah.
19:44The thing is just like, really?
19:46I'm allowed?
19:48I feel really good.
19:49I feel really good, yeah.
19:51I just keep learning all these things about myself.
19:53So proud to really connect with my body.
19:55And so pleased that I felt like we just had this breakthrough.
20:01Joy has leapt forwards.
20:03But not everyone is riding high.
20:05Bertie, would you like to join us?
20:06Slash would you like a blanket?
20:08Um, go on then.
20:10What, go on then to the blanket or go on then to joining us?
20:13I'll see what I'll do.
20:15I'll see how you feel.
20:16Yeah.
20:16I think it's quite a chill convert at the moment.
20:18Yeah, I'll see what I can do.
20:19Lovely to talk to you.
20:21Nice to talk to you.
20:22I can socialise, don't worry.
20:23I know you can.
20:24I'm just inviting you to.
20:26I'll see.
20:26And I'll see you.
20:28Do-do-do-do-do.
20:32Do-do-do-do.
20:41I hear the clipboards.
20:44It's late afternoon.
20:46This questionnaire is multiple choice.
20:48Please choose all that apply.
20:50To help the group explore the type of person that turns them on...
20:54I've got boobs.
20:55so far the experts have handed out a list of questions body hair i like my girls with a full
21:03beard mate face shape i've never thought about this what's mine are you calling me a squid
21:12i don't think the color of hair or the color of eyes matter as long as the hair looks presentable
21:21great hygiene yeah clean hands clean nails and they've got to have i'm going to put banter
21:31you know you put a banter for marianne the questionnaire proves revealing
21:38ideal first date setting i just want to go hiking and then have a picnic somewhere but then i don't
21:45really necessarily want to be alone with a guy hiking on the first date yeah it depends on how
21:50safe i feel you know a lot goes on in my head all the time because i was diagnosed with
21:58adhd when
21:58i was about four and there's just a lot of emotions like i'm never not thinking about safety like when
22:05people do one night stands in my head i'm like xyz could go wrong how are you going to an
22:09unknown
22:09place with this my brain goes sort of into overdrive i don't trust men all right we're done dusted high
22:18five yeah i know it is me but i don't know how to move forward
22:28marianne is very much in her head she's trying to manage her boundaries so she won't get hurt
22:37and in that way she's holding herself back from fully experiencing life
22:44good to see you danielle wants to try and help marianne confront her barriers
22:51what do you want for yourself in the retreat when it comes to sort of entity i always just have
22:57i'm just my first thought is just safety so a lot of what you're trying to do now is really
23:02like
23:03keep yourself in check if like it just feels like i'm all alone and i have to put up a
23:11god i'm just
23:12saying sort of no to everything and i think my yourself feels quite sad that i'm still stuck with
23:28i feel like i had a lot of issues growing up in south africa in school i was one of
23:33three mixed race
23:34girls and we didn't really know how to fit in because we weren't like black enough for the black
23:39guys white enough for the white guys i get viewed as this exotic thing sweetheart so gave up with my
23:47hand
23:47on the hearing side it has been sort of like a competition of guys they would never be in a
23:52relationship with us but they just want to like get our clothes off and so it's really really hard for
23:57me to like trust men i just feel yeah that i'm missing out on things and i can't diver differentiate
24:07like what's actual fear and what's just like protection yeah can i please have a hug oh i would love
24:16to
24:17be a hug oh marianne needs to learn to trust that men don't necessarily want to take advantage of her
24:27and working with men to deal with all those issues that's her biggest challenge
24:42thank you so much my pleasure
24:47i knew i was gonna be emotional but everything sort of hit me
24:58it was nice to have this session because like i can just think more clearly about what's to come
25:05but that's quite daunting
25:21morning morning
25:25another day begins on virgin island
25:28oh got hot dog down my boot that'd be a treat for someone later and it's the turn-ons phase
25:37of the
25:37course
25:40this phase is pretty intimidating i always thought myself as dead playful dead flirty but i started
25:48being really sheltered so i do feel like i've got a lot to learn
25:53i personally feel a bit deflated a bit dejected i'm lacking behind i know it's a marathon and not a
26:01sprint but some people are running i'm trudging the phase is exposing deep-seated fears
26:13when it comes to younger people around intimacy and touch there's just a lot more self-consciousness
26:20a lot of people are afraid you know oh maybe i'm gonna get cancelled or cross a boundary
26:24nowadays there is a lot of risk in saying the wrong thing like if i make a weird stupid mistake
26:30talking to a girl that's that's done isn't it i don't want to do something wrong i don't want to
26:35do things too fast or too slow if i do come across as a creep in any way shape or
26:40form i don't mean to
26:41i'm so scared of the thought of that happening what do you think we're gonna do i have no idea
26:47it having already worked on discovering their turn-ons oh this is so scary celeste and danielle
26:56now want the group to feel it in their bodies this is a really safe place that we can practice
27:02touching all over each other's bodies this exercise can definitely get people aroused and frankly i hope
27:12it does okay one of the things that really gets in the way of us feeling our turn-ons is
27:19inhibition and
27:20today's workshop is all about letting out your inner animal
27:30so we're gonna do a little demo and then you'll get a chance to practice with each other
27:35sex doesn't have to be this thing that is very curated it can be animalistic and fun animal game
27:42you don't need much to be good at it it's more about connecting with your own impulses and unleashing
27:48your inner animal
27:53there's another animal just next to you
27:58you can smell
28:06so
28:14oh
28:15Oh!
28:38Laugh-gasm!
28:47OK. I'm looking for a brave volunteer.
28:55Birdie, I've got an injured foot.
28:58I know it sounds like a lame excuse, but with, like, my foot and everything, it's...
29:01OK, anyone else?
29:04Can I do it with you, Marianne? Yeah. I'm going to go with Marianne.
29:06Great, wonderful.
29:10Joy takes the opportunity to practise with a woman.
29:15So just take some nice, deep breaths, in and out.
29:22When you feel ready, start exploring each other with your hands.
29:32Good. I love the way you're staying with the sensation and with your own bodies.
29:41Woo!
29:52And how was that for you?
29:54Marianne made me feel very safe.
29:56Same! It was very fun.
30:00As more of the group step up...
30:03Just follow what your body wants to do.
30:06..their animal instincts start to emerge.
30:13Touching and sensing...
30:24Anyone else?
30:28..fuck it. Yes, Bertie.
30:30Yay!
30:32Up until now, Bertie keeps holding back.
30:35If I don't do it now, I'll regret it later.
30:38I think this is the worst time to be a young adult.
30:42Because if you're someone like me who struggles with approaching and talking to women,
30:49it's near impossible.
30:51Right?
30:51I constantly think about what I could do wrong rather than what I could do right.
30:58But I have to do this because I want to improve my life.
31:05Start noticing that there's an animal inside you and you can rub against them.
31:16I can hold...
31:18Are you OK?
31:20I'm good, yeah.
31:20Yeah?
31:21You sure?
31:22Yeah, I'm fine.
31:23You're getting comfy physically.
31:24Yeah.
31:31That's OK.
31:33Yeah?
31:34Let yourself feel how good it feels.
31:48I think we're done.
31:49Yeah, me too.
31:50Yeah?
31:50Yeah.
31:54Amazing.
31:54You want to share a little bit?
31:56I was a bit apprehensive about doing it at first.
31:58I mean, I thought you were doing a good job.
31:59It just all felt natural and not really nice.
32:01You've got nice hair to touch as well.
32:03All that wax has come in handy, that's what it is.
32:07Nice.
32:10There we go.
32:11Well done to you.
32:20So, how was that?
32:22I was still in that like, ooh, like frisky mood, let's say.
32:27And I was like, OK, so I'm going to just have to calm myself back down
32:29and start from Bertie's level.
32:32All right, Bertie.
32:33Hello.
32:34How did you find it?
32:35Good, good.
32:35You had the right amount of pressure on me that I like.
32:38It felt so natural.
32:39And I was like, this is...
32:41Yeah.
32:42Oh, I think to say this is one of the bravest things I've done
32:45would be the understatement of the millennium.
32:48This isn't peer pressure or anything like that.
32:51I just feel like I kind of have to participate.
32:54Because if I am going on this island to be the same old person that I was for all my
33:01life,
33:01what am I doing here?
33:05As the course is going on, I can see people learning and changing.
33:09Everybody's trying new things.
33:11But for some people, therapy is very slow and totally goes at the pace of the client.
33:22Bertie may be working things out, but discovering turn-ons for some is slow progress.
33:27Nice.
33:28Guys, do you like hairy vaginas?
33:31I actually don't care.
33:33Yeah.
33:34Each to their own.
33:35And it starts coming out of their nicker line and you're like, oh, God, you need to shave.
33:38Oh, no.
33:40I don't really look after myself very much, but, you know.
33:43No-one's seeing it, so.
33:45After this, that won't be true.
33:50Intimacy is challenging for everyone on the island.
33:54But for 21-year-old Callum, it's also linked to tragedy.
33:58My dad passed away two years ago. He was an alcoholic.
34:06I don't really know how to respond to it.
34:10I'm living on my own in his house where he used to live and probably spend, oh, it's probably
34:16about 16 hours a day gaming. I suppose it is a way to escape everything in the world.
34:24I struggle to meet people in person. It makes me feel alone.
34:33The experts want Callum to tackle his grief.
34:37Hi. Hello.
34:38With clinical therapist, Abby.
34:44Are there times in your life where you felt uncomfortable talking about these things?
34:48Yeah, I think so. I'm never really honest or open. I think it was when my dad passed that
34:54I really started to notice a lot of the stuff about myself. Talk to me a little bit about that.
35:01I really punished myself about everything.
35:04Yeah, he got admitted to hospital because he'd fallen. He was on the floor for two days and he
35:09couldn't get up. He couldn't reach his phone to tell anyone.
35:12Yeah.
35:13And the next day being told that, you know, he's not got long left to live. So
35:18he died within two weeks.
35:20Yeah.
35:21He got, oh, it's okay.
35:24Liver cirrhosis. Talk about the feeling that comes up around that.
35:28I still feel like I failed him.
35:31That's not, it's not for you to take on.
35:38Is it reasonable for you to take responsibility of that?
35:41Maybe not.
35:44What are the thoughts running in your head?
35:49Regret?
35:50Yeah.
35:55I just want to make him proud and not fly in his name.
36:02You're making him proud.
36:11I'm really emotional because a lot of it is shit basically that I hate dealing with.
36:17But I've never really had that emotional response.
36:20And I spoke properly with someone who understands it.
36:23And it's kind of, I think, a fuzzy feeling.
36:26I just feel, I feel like I'm on a lot of steam.
36:29I want to run around.
36:30I want to run around.
36:36Hello.
36:37Hello.
36:38Hello.
36:38How did it go?
36:39Very emotional.
36:40Looking at shit from a different angle, I suppose.
36:43Do you feel good that it's been, like, off your chest?
36:46Mm.
36:47Tell you what, though, it's so hot in the teepee.
36:49I sweated it all out, so.
36:52It wasn't tears, it was just sweat coming at your eyes.
36:54Yeah, yeah, yeah.
36:55It wasn't tears, no.
37:06It wasn't tears, it wasn't tears, it wasn't tears, it wasn't tears.
37:06Are you going to bomb it in?
37:08Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
37:09It's late afternoon.
37:11Did you feel just, like, glided in?
37:13And many of the group are embracing island life.
37:17To be a man, hey?
37:18Get your hair wet and just, like, come out and be fine.
37:21Yeah, yeah, no moisturiser, not need to, like, shower.
37:25Well, I think men need showers.
37:27I hope, I hope they shower.
37:30As some take a dip, the experts have decided it's time for others
37:35to immerse themselves in the retreat's most advanced therapy,
37:39undertaken by three specialists.
37:42Surrogate partner therapy works with the surrogate partner and the client,
37:46practising with everything from different kinds of touch,
37:49through genital touching, oral sex or even intercourse,
37:52so that people can practise the full range of sexual experiences.
37:56First is 35-year-old Ellen.
38:00Hello.
38:01Hello.
38:03While all surrogate partner therapy is supported by clinical therapist Abby...
38:07What I do is therapeutic emotional discussion.
38:11Kat will be Ellen's surrogate partner therapist.
38:14So I do the relationship side.
38:16Doing touch work and relational work is, like, completely led by you.
38:21Okay.
38:22And hands are, like, really important in lesbian sex.
38:25Yeah.
38:27Meanwhile, Tegan will work with surrogate partner therapist Rizden.
38:31And notice the sensation of me touching you.
38:38How did that feel?
38:40It felt good. It felt really nice.
38:41Okay, great.
38:42But before Marianne can consider a surrogate relationship,
38:46she first has to learn to trust men.
38:50It gets to a point where I need to feel the energy,
38:52you can feel they want more.
38:54And I can't cross the boundary, just can't.
38:56My brain just gets stuck.
38:58I really want to challenge myself.
39:00I want to do it with a guy and see how I feel.
39:06Trust is everything.
39:08Out of all my friends, I'm the only virgin.
39:09And I do feel lonely.
39:12But I do want to be in a relationship with someone.
39:15If I haven't figured it out by 26 years,
39:18then clearly I do need some help.
39:21First step for Marianne...
39:23Hello.
39:25..is simply being comfortable in the same room
39:27as potential surrogate partner Andre.
39:31How are you feeling now?
39:33A little bit anxious in my stomach.
39:35And that's just because of unknowns and things.
39:39Yeah.
39:40Working with Marianne, it's very important that we start slowly
39:44to build the trust in myself.
39:47I'm going to be moving around the room
39:50and going to be noticing how your body is reacting to where I am.
39:55The idea is just to learn how someone being close to you
39:58can potentially feel.
40:01Yeah.
40:01OK, so go ahead and close your eyes.
40:11And so I've moved.
40:12You might feel I'm further away.
40:20See if there's any noticeable change in sensation.
40:27Growing up, I really never saw how a relationship should be.
40:33My dad just wasn't there.
40:36And seven, eight years ago, I found out I had a new half-sister.
40:39My dad was just sort of collecting mini-families.
40:47Just noticing what's happening in your body.
40:51So anything that reminds me of my dad, you're instantly vetoed.
40:54Trust-wise, I'm very sceptical.
40:59What was, like, kind of going on in your head?
41:03By the end, I liked it.
41:06It just felt warm by the end.
41:10I felt, if I'm being honest, more sort of turn on with the second one
41:14that was there for some reason.
41:16Oh, wonderful.
41:17Yeah.
41:17OK, great.
41:18I feel a lot more relaxed here.
41:21OK.
41:22After the exercise...
41:24I would love a hug.
41:26Marianne is clearly calmer.
41:29It helps that you smell like salted caramel.
41:31Mmm, do I really?
41:32Yeah.
41:33It's very, like...
41:34I like that.
41:36I'm feeling a lot more reassured working with a guy.
41:40He's very lovely and I felt very relaxed.
41:44It has helped my brain not be as...
41:48fearful.
41:50I'm really proud of myself.
41:55Hi.
41:56Hi, Marianne.
41:56Welcome back.
41:57How did your one-to-one go?
41:59It was good.
42:01Hell yeah.
42:01Nice to meet you.
42:02How many people can actually fit in this bed?
42:04That's a real question.
42:05Bertie, do you want to come join us in the bed?
42:07Um...
42:08Actually, please do.
42:09It's an open invitation.
42:11All right, no worries.
42:14After getting back on track earlier, the experts don't want Bertie to lose momentum again.
42:20Bertie jumped up.
42:21I thought he was going to use his foot as an excuse, but he didn't, and he was so good.
42:26He seemed so sensual, so, like, um, animalistic.
42:30It's really important that he feels successful.
42:32Yeah.
42:34When it comes to dating and sex, I just want to be able to be more confident in myself and
42:42know what I'm
42:42doing because the thought of me approaching a woman and asking them out, it would make them think,
42:50oh, God, this is embarrassing. What have I done to deserve being asked out by Bertie?
42:57To help boost his confidence...
42:59Good afternoon.
43:00Good afternoon.
43:01Celeste wants to push Bertie's boundaries.
43:05How was the workshop for you?
43:07I know I got a few things wrong, but that was the first time I didn't really feel uncomfortable.
43:12I was super proud and impressed, and I think we can use this session to just do more kinds
43:16of practices that will be helpful for you.
43:19Sounds good.
43:19To get more technique together.
43:21It's good to brush my teeth, then.
43:27Celeste starts...
43:28So try to, like, lay me back.
43:30Like this?
43:31Yeah, exactly.
43:33...simulating the missionary position.
43:35How am I going to do this?
43:36It'll be awkward at first, so don't worry about that, OK?
43:39OK.
43:40Teaching Bertie the basics.
43:42And then you want to line up so that your dick is connected to my pussy.
43:47Oh, God, OK.
43:48OK.
43:50Right.
43:50Right?
43:51Like this?
43:52Yeah, exactly.
43:58And you'll need to hold up some of your weight.
44:01Yeah, sorry.
44:02No, it's OK.
44:02And if you want me to show you what I mean, I'm happy to do that.
44:05That's fine.
44:05You can if you want to.
44:06If you lie down.
44:09OK, so if I'm on top of you.
44:11Yeah.
44:12See how, like, I'm not all the way down here.
44:15Yeah, no.
44:15Because it's just a little too much pressure on the chest.
44:17Yeah.
44:18Yes.
44:23So when you thrust, I want you to imagine that your cock is going inside my vagina.
44:27Like this.
44:28Like this.
44:28Yes, exactly.
44:30Yes.
44:33Do you want to try a dog?
44:34Let's try it.
44:38Then you get between my legs.
44:40Yeah.
44:41And you pull me up.
44:43Exactly.
44:44You can kind of be all the way up.
44:46Yes, yes, yes.
44:48Good.
44:50Yeah, like that.
44:55Thank you very much.
44:56I feel lightheaded.
44:57Oh, yes, I bet.
44:59You are an absolute miracle worker.
45:01I ain't leaving.
45:02Thank you very much.
45:03I'm just going to be rooting you on in every moment.
45:06Ooh, yeah.
45:07I'm proud of you.
45:12Oh, Bertie boy.
45:14Hello.
45:15How was it?
45:15Good.
45:16Celeste has taught me how certain sexual positions work.
45:21So, yeah.
45:24I feel very happy at the moment.
45:26It's amazing what a bit of rolling around on the floor doing different sexual positions can do to
45:33one's mentality.
45:34But I've made progress and I'm proud of myself for that.
45:38And I'm thankful for everything that Celeste has taught me.
45:41Oh, my God.
45:46All that thrusting has made me hurt my bollocks.
45:51It's because I have to sleep on my back tonight.
45:54Christ almighty.
45:56Next time.
45:57Look at my pussy.
45:58Mm-hmm.
45:59I'm definitely a lesbian.
46:00The dating phase panics Ellen.
46:03I just don't feel like I'm good enough.
46:06Alex ups his game.
46:07Do you want to see how high I do it?
46:09And things heat up.
46:11Cheers.
46:12With island dates.
46:13I'm so nervous still.
46:14Why?
46:15I think it's because it's you.
46:17I think it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because
46:20it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because
46:21it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because
46:34it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because
46:36it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because
46:37it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because
46:37it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because
46:40it's because it's because it's because it's because
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