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Short filmTranscript
00:03I'm nervous.
00:05I'm gonna take it one step at a time.
00:07In a world saturated with sex...
00:10I'm absolutely petrified.
00:12...more young adults than ever are living without it.
00:16The thought of having sex with someone...
00:18...scares me. It gives me the ick.
00:20I'm missing out.
00:21Terrified.
00:22Nerve-racking.
00:22Gut-wrenching.
00:23Embarrassing.
00:24All I think about is what I'm gonna get wrong.
00:27Can you point to the outer labia?
00:31Nope.
00:33Now...
00:34Oh, my God!
00:35...12 virgins are getting a crash course in intimacy.
00:39Social media, porn, dating apps.
00:42There are so many negative messages,
00:43and we can help them blossom.
00:45Use it by stimulating the area.
00:47They'll be guided by experts...
00:50You see yourself as...
00:52Propulsive.
00:52...to explore all aspects of intimacy.
00:56And maybe even have sex with a trained therapist.
01:00Do you wanna put a condom on?
01:03...or each other.
01:04Get a room, guys!
01:07I really do need to change my life.
01:10Who will be ready...
01:11Desperate times call for desperate measures.
01:14...to go all the way?
01:23Over the past few days on Virgin Island...
01:26I feel so connected to you.
01:28Can I grab your butt?
01:29...learning the dynamics of dating...
01:31This is only phase three.
01:34What do I do?
01:35You have to stare into my eyes.
01:37...led to Callum and Katie becoming closer.
01:39Callum, you make me giddy!
01:42Tegan...
01:42You ready to look at my eyes?
01:44Mm-hmm.
01:44...found self-acceptance in surrogate partner therapy.
01:47I'm definitely a lesbian.
01:50I think that's the best I've ever felt.
01:52And Bertie...
01:53You can kind of be all the way up, and you can use my hips.
01:56Yes!
01:57...seems to be getting over his inhibitions.
01:59All that thrusting has made me hurt my bollocks.
02:03Now, the group face their biggest challenge yet...
02:07...bearing all.
02:09Nudity is really the phase that people dread.
02:11There are so many negative messages around bodies...
02:13...that the thought of, like, looking at yourself in the mirror...
02:16...can be really daunting.
02:18Noticing if you feel like you want to continue getting undressed.
02:21Lack of body confidence gets in the way of sex.
02:24Learning how to relax around nudity is an essential step...
02:28...in a sexual connection.
02:36Day seven.
02:38Almost the halfway point on Virgin Island.
02:44Oh, no.
02:46Oh, my gosh.
02:48And for many in the group, their biggest challenge yet.
02:52It's time to face and conquer the thing that may have been holding you back...
02:55...as the next phase is nudity.
02:57Please come to this workshop in as few clothes as you feel comfortable wearing.
03:01This is what I've been most scared for.
03:05It's a crucial stage.
03:07Morning.
03:08Morning.
03:09What happens today could define progress for the rest of the retreat.
03:14Have you read your letter?
03:16Yeah, I was hoping we wouldn't be doing this one.
03:18I would like to feel less shameful, anxious about going fully undressed.
03:23I just don't think I would ever be able to do it.
03:27How are you feeling?
03:28I'm freaking out.
03:29Yeah?
03:30I don't want to do this.
03:34I really hate my body and I really hate what I look like.
03:38So I'm really scared.
03:40My whole body just now feels really tense.
03:43I know.
03:43Go on, Betty.
03:44Is it a good morning, really?
03:47Even when, like, I've worn checkered shirts in public,
03:51because I'm worried that the bits, like, near the buttons expose the skin,
03:56I've always worn a vest under that.
03:57That's how self-conscious I've been about my body.
04:01I'm going to put my best sports bar on.
04:09Oh, I just want to hide.
04:12You all right?
04:12Er, as I'll ever be.
04:14In front of the experts and their peers...
04:17Here we go, everyone!
04:19..today's workshop is an opportunity for the virgins...
04:22Good morning!
04:23Hello, hello!
04:25..to prove how much confidence they have or haven't gained at the retreat.
04:30Welcome to the nudity phase of the course.
04:33There are so many negative messages out there
04:36that make us feel horrible about our bodies,
04:38and we really want to help you change that.
04:41Because at the end of the day, if you want to have sex,
04:44you will need to be naked in front of your partner,
04:47and that can be very awkward if you don't feel good about your body.
04:51So in a moment, we're going to start going up to the mirror one by one,
04:56and then disrobe.
04:57We believe the more that they're willing to reveal in this workshop,
05:01the more it can be rewarding because that barrier of like,
05:06oh, no, I've never done this before, finally is gone.
05:09Learning how to see their bodies as beautiful,
05:12how to take a compliment, and how to say, this is my body.
05:17Who knows, they want to walk first.
05:33For 22-year-old Millie, body image has been a long-standing challenge.
05:39Hello.
05:42I've never been at peace with my body.
05:45Over the past few years, I've just been like,
05:47that should be toned or that should be slim.
05:51Take your time, sweetheart.
05:53It's okay, take your time.
05:56And I think if I'm not liking my own body, how can anyone else?
06:03Yeah.
06:18I love your body.
06:21I like it.
06:21It's okay.
06:22You can let the feelings come up.
06:26I can take it in.
06:29I don't really like my boobs.
06:31I feel like they look weird.
06:34My boobs are very similar to yours.
06:37They serves me very well.
06:42This is my body.
06:45This is my body.
06:52Who's ready?
06:57Callum.
07:01Go on, Callum.
07:04Last time someone's probably seen me naked,
07:06she's probably went, hmm, I don't know.
07:08Maybe when my mum walked in on me while I was changing.
07:10I can't think of any time that I've been naked
07:12and you've been to someone.
07:14Whenever you're ready.
07:19Anything you want to share about your body.
07:21I've got quite strong shoulders.
07:23Can I take these off?
07:25Oh, please.
07:25Yeah?
07:26Yeah, I didn't know you were going to.
07:27Yay!
07:27Young, good ones.
07:28Woo!
07:32Now you can say this is my whole body.
07:35This is my body.
07:46One by one, each group member steps up.
07:49I'd like to be more muscular.
07:50Can I say you have like the perfect proportion.
07:55To face their reflection.
07:57Can you look in the mirror and say, this is my body.
08:00This is my body.
08:01While some have the confidence to bear all.
08:03The first thing that I thought was, damn, she's fucking hot.
08:10This is my body.
08:12I'm confident by myself.
08:14This is my body.
08:15This is my body.
08:16This is my body.
08:17This is my body.
08:19This is my hair.
08:20That's mine.
08:23Others can only reveal so much.
08:26The power in your body is very attractive.
08:37Ed, would you like to come up?
08:42I don't like being nude around people.
08:45Mostly down to like my scars and my disability.
08:49My disability is Perlin Syndrome.
08:51I've got a smaller hand.
08:54Bent fingers.
08:54No knuckle.
08:56Whenever you're ready, you can disrobe.
09:00I don't particularly like any part of my body.
09:03Certain bits stand out more.
09:04Scars from surgery.
09:06A lot of stuff I've done to myself.
09:09My first relationship fell apart quite badly for me.
09:14I was self-harming.
09:17I've come to terms with the reason I did it.
09:20And although people say no one will notice to me, they will.
09:25You don't hear about a lot of males doing it.
09:27Yeah.
09:28It's quite a difficult thing.
09:31How would you feel if I just touched your scars with some love?
09:35Yeah.
09:35Yeah.
09:37Let's see if you can look at yourself.
09:40Yeah.
09:41Let's take one more second and you can just say,
09:43this is my body.
09:46This is my body.
09:52The majority of the group have faced their own reflection.
09:56Bertie, would you like to come up?
09:58Bertie is one of the last.
10:02I don't like the way I look without my clothes on.
10:06I tend to not look in the mirror because it's...
10:09I don't think it's a pretty sight.
10:15Take a moment and look at me.
10:17Okay.
10:18Yeah.
10:19When you're ready, just a glimpse of the mirror.
10:22And if you need to come back to my eyes.
10:24Yeah.
10:25Good job.
10:26You're doing it great.
10:31Can you say, this is my body?
10:36This is my body.
10:37This is my body.
10:46Katie, would you like to step up?
10:50I've always hated my looks on my body.
10:54Back in school, I really struggled with my confidence.
10:59I don't think there's anything about me that I like.
11:05Especially looks-wise, I really just don't like it.
11:11I was always the monster.
11:13I got bullied really badly.
11:15I spat out, had things thrown at me.
11:18Social media pages made of me where they've edited my face
11:21onto, like, different, like, animals and stuff.
11:25Yeah, I've always been insecure and just hated the way I look, so...
11:32Hmm.
11:39Okay, brave woman.
11:41This is so nervous.
11:42Yeah.
11:43You're doing great.
11:47Yeah.
11:48So you want to start and just say what you see?
11:52I'm fine.
11:52I do.
11:54I don't like it.
11:55I don't have a mirror at home, so I don't see this.
12:00Wow.
12:00So you want to take a minute and actually see if you can bring
12:03some loving eyes to your body?
12:07It's okay.
12:07Thank God.
12:08Yeah, it's okay.
12:10Do you want to just say, this is my body?
12:15This is my body.
12:28I feel like you are the bravest people on the planet.
12:32One more step into self-reclamation and self-love.
12:46Hi, guys.
12:47Hi.
12:48Hello.
12:48Oh, my God, you guys have clothes on.
12:50I know.
12:51Who are you?
12:52How's everyone feeling?
12:53Terrible.
12:54Terrible.
12:54Terrible.
12:55I'm just not happy about revealing all my scars and stuff.
12:58I really never noticed them.
12:59Also, scars are cool.
13:00I have so many, which I love on my body.
13:02I'm like...
13:03No.
13:03They look sick.
13:04I don't mean, like, accidental surgery.
13:06I mean, like, self-arm scars.
13:08My scars for, like, self-harm and stuff,
13:10I don't think I'll ever be kind of secure with them.
13:13They're kind of a memory of a worse timer, really.
13:17Fair play to everyone that went naked.
13:19I wish I could have done that.
13:21My boobs should have sagged down to my knees if I took my bra off.
13:25Have you heard that song?
13:26Do your boobs hang low?
13:28Do they walk or do it through?
13:31Can you tie them in a knot?
13:33Can you tie them in a bow?
13:35That was really hard.
13:36I didn't enjoy it at all.
13:39It was just mental games in my head.
13:41I didn't want to do it, but I knew I had to
13:44to just take this process one step further.
13:47You're doing really well.
13:48This is the phase that I've been scared about the most,
13:51and now we're in it, and I just feel like, shit.
14:03Are you staying over here, Bertie, or are you going over there?
14:05I was going to stay over here.
14:06Don't want to leave you on your own.
14:08Sometimes I like being in my own company, but...
14:11I get that.
14:14Long as not, like, an awkward silence.
14:16Yeah.
14:20It's lunchtime on Virgin Island.
14:23I wanted to be a skinner legend.
14:25Go!
14:26Your weight is the least interesting thing about you.
14:28And for some of the group,
14:30the nudity phase has brought up deep-seated emotions.
14:34But it's the first thing you see about me.
14:36No, it's not. It's not.
14:37It's not your face. It's really not.
14:38Your face is the first thing you see.
14:39It's people.
14:39And you're also beautiful.
14:40And your body is great as well.
14:42Yes.
14:42So it's like, it's clearly...
14:43And your personality is top tier.
14:44Yeah.
14:49Today we started the nudity phase, and so many of them found the mirror.
14:53For the experts, one person in the workshop particularly caught their attention.
14:58I was super proud of Katie.
15:01When she was a child in school, people called her a monster.
15:04So for her to come up and to be only in her underwear was extremely brave.
15:10Yeah, I'm really looking forward today to checking in and saying, hey, what's happening here?
15:14She is indicating some deeper emotions with regards to how she sees herself and her self-worth.
15:20Mm-hmm.
15:21With Katie's pastel shaping her self-image, she's meeting clinical therapist Abby to explore what lies beneath.
15:30Everyone I watch on TV or on social media, they're all these beautiful, skinny, model-looking people.
15:36I'm sat here and I'm the complete opposite.
15:41I'm terrified to be naked in front of someone.
15:44I feel like they're going to look at my body and just pick apart every single bad thing like I
15:49do.
15:53Hi.
15:54Hi.
15:54Come on in.
15:57My biggest fear if things carry on and I don't lose my virginity is honestly not being able to have
16:03my own family.
16:04I want to hear from your perspective, what are the things that you want out of this work?
16:10I really, really would like to be more confident.
16:13I feel like I've got zero body confidence and it's bringing my daily life down.
16:18Mm-hmm.
16:20I got badly bullied like throughout the whole of secondary school.
16:23Mm-hmm.
16:23What have they made comments about?
16:25Just like how big I am, how ugly I am.
16:29Do you find yourself big or ugly?
16:31You do?
16:33Yeah, I always hate the way I look.
16:35Mm-hmm.
16:36And I always put myself down.
16:38Mm-hmm.
16:39Um, I don't like anything about myself, inside or out.
16:44So, I really do struggle.
16:46Yeah.
16:49What do we know about bullies?
16:52The whole people.
16:53Why is their voice that important to you?
16:56I just feel like because they just align, like, their thoughts are my thoughts.
17:00They're just, they're the same.
17:02So, if I'm thinking it and they're saying it, then it must be the truth.
17:05Mm-hmm.
17:07Because you see yourself as?
17:09Repulsive.
17:11How does that feel, hearing that out loud?
17:14Sad.
17:17Yeah.
17:17Yeah.
17:21You're the furthest thing from repulsive.
17:25You're, you're a human being.
17:28I don't see that, though.
17:30What do you see?
17:33A monster.
17:37Yeah.
17:38And I've felt like this for so long.
17:40I genuinely don't think I've ever looked at myself and been, like, even, yeah, half decent.
17:44Like, not even like a, ooh, we look cute today.
17:47No.
17:53Change can occur in incremental steps.
17:59Is there any part of your body you appreciate?
18:03My hands.
18:05Take it a step further.
18:06Your nails are done.
18:09Yeah.
18:09They look really pretty.
18:10Can you appreciate the fact that I like taking care of my hands and my nails because it makes me
18:15feel?
18:17It makes me feel good.
18:18Okay.
18:19I think the more you practice it and the more you give yourself that permission to get out of that
18:24old language,
18:26it's gonna take time.
18:28And also, it's a practice.
18:30Right?
18:35I am.
18:38This phase is the hardest for me just because my own body actually terrifies me.
18:43We just took one extra step today, so I'm just hoping that I can accept it.
18:49And accept myself.
18:56How was your one-to-one?
18:59Um, cried a little bit.
19:01Aw.
19:01When I had to bring up, like, all the old bullying and stuff, but...
19:04Um, she just said, say nice things to yourself, accept all the compliments and...
19:09Yeah.
19:10Really good, dude. Like, glad you had a good one.
19:12Yeah.
19:13If you're happy, we're happy.
19:15Yeah.
19:15You look quite beautiful, by the way.
19:17You're, like, your skin's really glowing.
19:20Oh.
19:20Maybe it's, like, all the vitamin D that you're getting every day.
19:28Hello, mate.
19:29Go home for it, Bertie.
19:31I've tried this on the first day, actually.
19:34Like Katie, this morning's workshop brought Bertie's body insecurities into sharp focus.
19:39I wouldn't do that. Oh, okay.
19:41What do you want to train?
19:42I have no idea. Probably the arms.
19:44Bring it behind your head.
19:46That's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
19:48Yeah.
19:49Go on, Bertie.
19:53Actually, I might lie down.
19:58I see myself as very overweight and not attractive at all on a looks front.
20:07Whenever, if ever, I have sex for the first time, it would probably be horrendously awkward.
20:15And, yeah, the thought of me having sex is even making me laugh because I can just imagine it being
20:22so bad.
20:31When Bertie came up to the mirror, it is such a hard step for him.
20:35He was really proud of himself. It was a huge deal for him.
20:39Bertie is one of the least experienced in the group.
20:41He's never kissed a girl. He just needs to connect with his body.
20:46Yeah, I'm really excited to see what we need to do to feel more connected.
20:50It's so foundational to have body acceptance and it makes progress possible.
20:58Progress for Bertie could eventually mean having sex with surrogate partner therapist, Kat.
21:03Hi, good afternoon.
21:05If he can overcome his body issues.
21:08How did you feel about the workshop?
21:10When I was wearing my boxers, it was one of the biggest things I've ever done in my life.
21:15I have, um...
21:17I have quite an insecurity about the size.
21:26That's what it is.
21:27To build confidence, Kat introduces an exercise focused on boundaries and consent called May I, Will You?
21:35Um, may I caress your arm?
21:37OK, yes.
21:39Can I do it on both hands?
21:41No, because that was the ask, so we want to stay with what you asked, yeah.
21:48How did that feel?
21:50It felt very nice.
21:53May I suck your dick for five minutes?
21:57Uh...
21:59Uh...
21:59No.
22:00Yeah, yeah.
22:01That was a great answer.
22:02Yeah.
22:02Can you say a little more?
22:03I think we're not at that stage.
22:05Yeah, good job.
22:06Good owning your no.
22:08But I'm not ruling anything out.
22:11Um...
22:11May I kiss you on the cheek?
22:14Yes.
22:21Will you...
22:22I feel like I just want you to, like, sit on me.
22:26Uh, I've got quite a big bottom and I don't want to crush you, so...
22:30It's really, really important that Bertie feels so much more confident with himself, with his body, and I don't think
22:37he'll feel safe being himself in intimacy without a lot of permission, and that's something that surrogate partner therapy can
22:43really give.
22:44Just lay back.
22:45All the way.
22:46You alright?
22:47Yeah, I'm alright.
22:48Okay.
22:51And guess what?
22:52What?
22:53You're not too heavy.
22:56He's too heavy.
22:57I'm not too heavy.
22:57I'm sorry.
22:58You're too heavy.
23:01Okay.
23:02Um...
23:03I have an idea in mind.
23:06Um, it's something that has never happened to me before.
23:12Um...
23:14I was thinking, may I have my first kiss with you?
23:21I've not kissed anyone romantically,
23:24which at 24 is a very strange thing to say
23:29when that is the very, like, almost the first kind of step
23:33in a relationship, and I haven't even done that.
23:39There's no shame.
23:40OK, all right.
23:41And I don't want any tongues or anything like that.
23:45No, I'm just going to do a song flip.
23:48And you don't have to, like, you can just kind of relax.
23:51OK, I don't want them to be too dry or anything.
23:53No, don't worry about it.
23:54OK.
24:02Good.
24:03That was my first kiss.
24:04You did great.
24:09Wow, that was fantastic.
24:10That was, yeah.
24:13That, that, yeah.
24:17Thank you so much.
24:19As Bertie's confidence grows...
24:22There we go.
24:24He feels able to go further.
24:30Also, side note, I can tell just from under your pants
24:34that you don't have to worry about size, just so you know.
24:37Well, it's, it's, it's, it's, I'll say it, it's very stiff at the moment.
24:42But when it's not, that's the problem.
24:45It's OK.
24:46You're a grower, not a shower.
24:48Yeah, fair enough.
24:50Very, very well.
24:53Thank you very much, Kat.
24:55Love you, bye.
24:57I am feeling absolutely incredible.
25:01I feel like the stress has been evaporated.
25:05The next session, I could potentially be getting my clothes off,
25:09maybe even fully naked.
25:10We're making very good progress.
25:19It's day two of the nudity phase on Virgin Island.
25:24Halfway through now.
25:25Yeah.
25:25Can't even think what's going to happen today.
25:27It should be easier.
25:38Building on yesterday's body acceptance,
25:41today's workshop is designed to take the group further.
25:44Oh, my God.
25:47Into more explicit territory.
25:50We have giant genitals on display
25:51because we want to just normalize
25:54every different kind of genital.
25:56Welcome.
25:57I don't know where to look.
25:59This workshop's all about getting familiar
26:01with your genitals
26:02and to understand where the pleasure centers are
26:05and how to start to get in touch with them.
26:07Any feelings that come up with it?
26:09Yeah, very uncomfortable.
26:10Mm-hmm.
26:12I'm less uncomfortable.
26:13It's more like intrigued kind of thing.
26:15I feel more comfortable with this side.
26:17Hence why I'm sat here.
26:19LAUGHTER
26:22First thing I want you to notice
26:23is they'll look very different depending.
26:26We want to invite Jason up.
26:29Oh, my God.
26:30If they want to have sex...
26:32Didn't even notice.
26:33..the virgins are going to have to get better acquainted
26:36with real-life genitals.
26:38I have touched, like, a penis.
26:40Couldn't see it.
26:41It was dark.
26:43I think I'm comfortable with female anatomy and male anatomy.
26:47I mean, maybe men are a bit more gross, but...
26:50I've pecked a lad before,
26:52and that's as far as any physical contact
26:56has ever gone with me and another lad.
26:58The first thing you'll see is that I am circumcised,
27:01so my foreskin doesn't cover the head
27:04or the glands of my penis.
27:05This ridge here, where the head meets the shaft,
27:09this is called the corona,
27:12and this spot here is the frenulum,
27:16and this is also very, very sensitive.
27:20Thanks for going on this tour with me.
27:22APPLAUSE
27:25I don't like this.
27:28Kat, would you like to come join us?
27:31I've watched pornography,
27:32and I think the vaginas that I've seen,
27:35I worry that, you know, mine's not normal.
27:40I think I know what I'm talking about,
27:42but truthfully, I've probably got no bloody idea.
27:45All right.
27:46I obviously know what the female anatomy looks like,
27:49but I wouldn't know where to go, put it that way.
27:56Here is my vulva.
27:58Here's the outer labia.
28:00And then in here, you have the inner labia.
28:03And here's the clitoral hood.
28:06And then there's the clitoris.
28:09I don't want to see other people naked.
28:11It doesn't come naturally to everyone.
28:13I don't feel comfortable.
28:16Also, where it feels good to be touched
28:18can change a lot within a sexual experience.
28:21So it's just important to be able to communicate
28:24with your partners about what feels good.
28:26Well done.
28:26Woo!
28:32Any feelings that come up?
28:33I was uncomfortable at first,
28:35but I feel like I've learned a lot.
28:36Do you feel that your comfort level changed a little bit?
28:38A little bit.
28:39I still don't know where to look, but...
28:40It is overwhelming.
28:42Like, don't get us wrong.
28:46Cheers, guys.
28:48Bye.
28:49Bye.
28:52That whole thing I hated.
28:54It made me really uncomfortable,
28:55just from start to end.
28:57I'm glad they showed a variety of different...
29:00Yeah, that's what I think.
29:01This is the first time I've ever seen a vulva up close.
29:04I'd rather enjoy that.
29:07I'd be lying if I said it wasn't weird,
29:09but I actually found it quite useful.
29:11How did you find it, Bertie?
29:12All of a sudden, I've gone off a Subway mega-meet.
29:23So, what did you think about the naked pictures?
29:25I'm not going to lie, from far away, it looked like trees.
29:28It is some kind of wood, isn't it?
29:30Yeah.
29:32Nice.
29:33I don't know if this is just a male thing,
29:35but it just seems like the vaginas have got a lot more going on.
29:37I also know now I'll never fully judge a guy
29:40for not finding the clip.
29:41There was a couple where I was like,
29:42I need to find it as well.
29:45I was like, OK, cool, got it.
29:48Thank you to Jason and Kat.
29:51Bless them.
29:52I feel like a lot more confident moving forward.
29:59It's not just the workshop that is giving Will confidence.
30:02You're letting that touch land in your body.
30:06As Aisha takes steps to help him
30:08with his fears of premature ejaculation.
30:11What level of arousal did you feel?
30:13Really pressurable,
30:15but, like, I wasn't shooting over free, really.
30:20OK.
30:21Meanwhile, Joy is building up her techniques
30:23to overcome vaginismus.
30:25Touch your perineum.
30:26And if you kind of, like, come up from the perineum a little bit,
30:30your finger will dip in.
30:33Yeah.
30:34Yeah?
30:34What are you noticing if you're doing that?
30:37There is no discomfort.
30:39I didn't clench up in fear,
30:41and I was able to experience a little bit of pleasure.
30:45I've shown, like, myself that I can do it,
30:47even if it's just for that one little thing.
30:49So, see how next session goes.
30:52As Joy's confidence builds...
30:55It's more of a practical session today.
30:58Yeah.
30:58..so too does Tegan's work
31:00with surrogate partner therapist Riston.
31:02She's showing me her vulva.
31:04This is the vagina.
31:06That is hot.
31:10As things escalate from looking...
31:13..into touch.
31:16Hello.
31:17Come sit and we'll chat.
31:19Absolutely.
31:20We had talked about doing genital touch today.
31:23How are you feeling about that?
31:24A little bit of nerves.
31:25Yeah, but...
31:26Which is natural.
31:27But, no, I'm mainly excited.
31:28Let's get undressed.
31:29Okay.
31:30Do you mind unzipping me?
31:32Yeah.
31:32Okay, great.
31:33I've never been one-on-one with a woman in a bedroom
31:37or anything like that.
31:38Can you pull this up?
31:39Yes, again.
31:41There.
31:42I don't know how to initiate the physical touch myself.
31:46There we go.
31:48And I want that sexual, romantic, intimate connection.
31:52Start pulling these off.
31:53Mm-hmm.
31:55But I don't know how to get to that stage.
32:02How's that?
32:03Yeah, yeah.
32:03Yeah?
32:03Good.
32:05The first thing I'm going to have you do...
32:06Mm-hmm.
32:06..you're looking at me, and that's great.
32:09I'm going to have you look at my pussy.
32:10Mm-hmm.
32:11I don't notice any feelings that are coming up for you.
32:14It's hot.
32:17I would like you to, with the backs of your fingernails,
32:21run your hands up my thighs very slowly.
32:23Mm-hmm.
32:24Go super slow.
32:27Mm-hmm.
32:28Mm-hmm.
32:30Mm-hmm.
32:31Mm-hmm.
32:32See if you can see my vaginal opening.
32:34Mm-hmm.
32:35Can you see it?
32:36Yep.
32:36And with this finger.
32:38So don't go in, but just put the finger, like,
32:40right on the bottom of the hole.
32:42Mm-hmm.
32:43Yep.
32:45That's nice.
32:47Mm-hmm.
32:48That's nice.
32:57All right.
32:57I'm going to come cuddle you.
32:59I was nervous about giving pleasure,
33:02but, yeah, I feel like a lot of that,
33:05and those nerves have dissipated now.
33:06Mm-hmm.
33:11Hiccup.
33:12Yes.
33:13Do you know what?
33:14You fingered me and I got the hiccups.
33:17Mm-hmm.
33:18I guess we've got to get back up, haven't we?
33:20Mm-hmm.
33:21Oh, I'm bothering.
33:23It was the first time I had my fingers inside my other woman.
33:26I feel like a whole new person.
33:27You do?
33:28Yeah.
33:28Yeah.
33:29Yeah.
33:32I don't think I've felt happier being on the island right now
33:35than right now.
33:36I feel it's big.
33:37I feel it's big.
33:38It's a massive step forward for me.
33:41Bye.
33:41See you, Liz.
33:42Bye.
33:42That's a big barrier that I've had in my way,
33:44and I feel like I'm a big step closer to losing my virginity.
34:00I hope you know which way we're going.
34:02No.
34:03You're going down here.
34:03And for the last afternoon of the nudity phase, clothing is optional.
34:08We asked a group to take nude photos in pairs.
34:11Who's going first?
34:12I'll take your picture.
34:13Go on.
34:14All right.
34:14It's all about the good shots, Jason.
34:16You do you.
34:16This is all about having fun.
34:20Oh, my God.
34:21Here we go.
34:23The goal is to help them feel relaxed around their bodies
34:26and feel comfortable with nudity.
34:28For some of the group...
34:30There we go.
34:31...improved body confidence is on full display.
34:33That's it, yeah.
34:34Ready?
34:35I've never felt this sexy in my life.
34:39Please say you didn't laugh until after.
34:43That just felt empowering, and I was like a massive sleigh to me.
34:48Smile.
34:51I thought there was some power there, some sort of strength,
34:54and I think maybe I hadn't seen myself in that light before.
34:56Good.
34:59I'm getting sexy vibes.
35:00Not bad.
35:02Okay.
35:02Take the bath.
35:03Woo!
35:04I don't mind being nude in, like, the ocean.
35:07And I wanted to prove to myself I could at least do it.
35:11Three, two, one.
35:12Over!
35:14But for others, bearing all for the camera is still a step too far.
35:19I'm trying this, I guess.
35:21Oh!
35:22Oh!
35:23Shit!
35:24Not that.
35:26That's how you do it.
35:27I didn't feel like getting naked today, and I'm glad that Callum told me
35:32he wasn't going to get his willy out, because after the morning workshop,
35:36I think we've seen enough of those for one day.
35:40After a tough time in yesterday's mirror workshop...
35:43Oh, that's cute.
35:45...Katy is showing tentative signs of progress.
35:47I wish I could show you.
35:49It looks really good.
35:49I know.
35:50I'd love to be able to see.
35:51Your boobs look so good.
35:52It's just been a bit scary, but these little steps are making me, like, open up.
35:59Oh!
36:01That's it.
36:02Like Katie...
36:03It's going to be very underwhelming, I'm telling you now, because, like, I'm still
36:06in clothes, so...
36:07I ain't getting undressed here.
36:09The nudity phase has exposed some of Ed's body insecurities.
36:16I'm just glad this phase is nearly over.
36:19Anything's easier than this one.
36:20My scars and my disability.
36:23There's certain things, especially with intimacy, where I do feel like it's going
36:29to negatively impact it.
36:33The scars are embarrassing.
36:35It makes even, like, just cuddling with someone a little bit more awkward.
36:39It feels like I'm kind of stalled in life.
36:43I feel a bit like a kid, to be honest.
36:45Having built up a relationship with Ed at the retreat...
36:48Hello.
36:49How are you?
36:50Better than this morning.
36:52That's good.
36:53Expert Cat feels she can relate to his body issues from her own personal experience.
36:59I noticed that Ed had scars, and that's something he was really insecure about coming in,
37:04and I also do, and so it felt really powerful to, like, share that space.
37:09I think something that's really important for you to practice is, like, really coming to
37:13people as equals.
37:16Okay.
37:17And I saw your scars.
37:18It was confronting for me, because it's a part of myself that I still can feel so much
37:24shame around.
37:25I get that.
37:25But when I see them on you, I don't have any judgment.
37:29Like, I only feel so much, like, love and compassion, and it creates more of a sense of care.
37:35It just felt really comforting to, like, not feel alone with it, if that makes sense.
37:42Do you feel comfortable taking off your shirt?
37:45Yeah.
37:54I'm going to take my bra off, too.
38:00Okay.
38:01How are you feeling now?
38:03A little bit nervous.
38:04Yeah, just start by looking and breathing.
38:08Is it okay if I touch you?
38:10Yeah.
38:11Will you touch me also?
38:22Will you touch my scars while I touch yours?
38:26Yes.
38:27Does that feel okay?
38:28Yeah.
38:28Yeah.
38:28Okay.
38:29I've got one on my chest as well.
38:32The worst one is the one down on my arm.
38:34That one.
38:35Mm-hmm.
38:36That's what made me stop.
38:37Mm-hmm.
38:41I'm always worried about people touching mine and not knowing how it feels to them.
38:47So, with you, I feel like I can be vulnerable as well.
38:54And, like, I'm not alone.
39:03Do you feel like I can touch my face?
39:07I feel like I can touch my face.
39:13Thank you, Ken.
39:16Knowing that we have both got scars, possibly for, like, similar reasons, I didn't feel any,
39:21like body issues at all i completely forgot that i have any um and i felt really good about myself
39:38oh jason
39:43this morning i was like i looked in the mirror when kate your eyebrows look really good today
39:46that's brilliant and also i feel like after yesterday's exercise that's what you need
39:50and obviously it's all positive things so like it's all mental while katie makes tentative progress
39:58on her body image jason your hair looks lovely
40:07yay the experts want her to take the plunge and move on from her past
40:15i'm going to be seeing katie today and the things that people have said to her about her body and
40:20her looks are truly destroying of a person's sense of dignity i would love to bring katie
40:28to the mirror if she feels ready and to start to find something that brings her joy would be
40:34i think a big step
40:38ayesha plans to revisit the mirror exercise one last time
40:47social media is really hard for bullying people will just constantly pick you apart and make you
40:53feel more insecure i've had a lot of things posted on me i was scrolling through once and someone had
41:02asked who's the ugliest girl in school and this person had written my full name that was really difficult
41:16i'm just feeling which piece of clothing wants to come off um let's do my top okay great i really
41:27don't
41:28like this i feel like i've got so much bad like skin and stuff so much hatred for myself
41:35um see if you can remember being with your body and not hating it
41:50that must have been so nice young katie did not care what others thought or what others said
41:56yeah and she didn't hate herself yeah sometimes katie what happens is when we live with people who
42:04torment us we can actually carry their voice in our head and we think it's ours
42:13um but it's not ours noticing if you feel like you want to continue getting undressed or if you feel
42:23good as you are um i could take the shorts off okay
42:32okay this is so weird okay what's happening now i'm sick of just hating every part and just looking
42:40at the bad parts of myself how do you want your body to feel i wish that i would have
42:49let go of nasty
42:50things created of me on social media yeah i've screenshotted it and i've still got the pictures
42:56on my phone from many many years ago wow because i like to look back at them and make myself
43:02feel bad
43:02again what would letting it go have looked like not even thinking about it ever again because they
43:09don't deserve it and i don't deserve it yeah after years of criticism shaping how katie sees herself
43:16would you like to do it dressed or undressed dress okay great now ayesha challenges her to push back
43:25my hair it's so dead but it grows really quickly my stomach i hate how big it is but it
43:36fuels me
43:37every single day you're rocking right now katie my boobs are very droopy but i feel like
43:46they suit my body yeah i want to be a mum so bad so yeah milk yeah comfort my babies
43:56wow beautiful
44:01thank you so much see you later see you later i really loved how relaxed and comfortable i felt
44:07this new growth and self-exploration that i found has just changed my entire life
44:14i would love to be able to just carry that on so i'm really happy
44:24as the sun sets on the nudity phase everybody come on over
44:30the experts have gathered to give the group one final opportunity to shed their inhibitions
44:36you just finished the nudity phase and we are so proud of you so many of you got naked and
44:45felt more
44:46comfortable relationship with your body and that's like a culmination and celebration of this phase
44:53we all take a little group swim together and you can undress to your level of comfort i will be
44:59going
44:59full naked who's brave enough
45:31keep thinking about it
45:32see naked it was so freaking the nudity phase is awesome i have absolutely no idea why i did that
45:41but
45:41hey i'm absolutely glad that i did it's definitely one of the biggest things ever done
45:47i feel like i've ended the phase on a high i've learned how to be a little bit nicer to
45:52myself
45:53every single person is different um and every single body is different it's crazy to think about but
45:59right here right now yeah i feel like i could do anything next time hit my hand with the dick
46:10things get hands-on you can put your finger inside i'm just kidding as a special guest arrives for the
46:18play time phase and a fantasy get on your knees becomes reality good boy
46:30so
46:40so
46:41so
46:56Transcription by CastingWords
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