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Watch The Lesbian Homie S05-E01 - What Are the Odds
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00:13Previously on The Lesbian Home.
00:14I love for real, you should come out and catch a couple games.
00:16Get over there and ball out.
00:18See you in there, Lou.
00:26Hey, baby.
00:33That's why you never spit a fucking block.
00:37Oh, fuck.
00:38It must be hard, being a stud, playing like you're not.
00:45What?
00:46Not here.
00:47Because I don't want you live to me.
00:50I want to know who you are.
00:52In other news, my sister's coming to town, and I am excited.
00:57What you think about that, Bruce?
01:01Feel about what?
01:03Ain't that your whole work?
01:04You didn't mean to tell me you ain't gonna try to kick it with her.
01:07You're not still stuck on Zara, are you?
01:09Look, I try not to get involved.
01:11I told her to reach out to you, and she told me she don't want to.
01:13So, I gotta respect that.
01:15Zara?
01:19Zara?
01:22What the fuck?
01:31Zara, stop!
01:40You gotta explain this.
01:43What the fuck is going on?
01:45Where you been?
01:48Look, Bruce, it's not what you think, all right?
01:51What?
01:52It's not yours.
01:56How do you know?
01:57Cuz I know.
01:58I'm positive, all right?
02:04You gotta go.
02:24I hate lying.
02:30It is what it is.
02:46I should be politically correct and just not answer your calls.
02:54I should be critical director, not be petty at all.
03:01But I'm only 60 inches high.
03:03Hard about three rivers wide.
03:05Small, I feel so small.
03:07All I get my all.
03:09Why the fuck should you feel good?
03:10Why the fuck should you sleep well?
03:12Namaste, let it all go.
03:14Fuck that shit, give them hell.
03:16Bigger, bigger, bigger person.
03:19I ain't the bigger person.
03:23Fuck being the bigger person.
03:26I ain't the bigger person.
03:31I should be wishing you the best.
03:33Forget and just move along.
03:37Fuck that.
03:38You should be feeling what I feel.
03:40Now, nigga, you were dead wrong.
03:42Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead.
03:45No, ho-ass nigga lookin' for the clouds.
03:47Soon I wish I would've figured out.
03:49Embarrassing the way you're runnin' round.
03:51Should let my brother punch you in your mouth.
03:53Why the fuck should you feel good?
03:55Why the fuck should you sleep well?
03:57Namaste, let it all go.
03:59Fuck that shit, give them hell.
04:00Bigger, bigger, bigger person.
04:03I ain't the bigger person.
04:08Fuck being the bigger person.
04:10I ain't the bigger person.
04:14Heh.
04:15Hold on.
04:34Bruce!
04:35What are you doing?
04:47BJ, what are you doing out here?
04:48And why are you ignoring my phone calls?
04:50What are you doing out here?
04:51How'd you find me?
04:52Charmaine called me and she said she saw you walking by the freeway.
04:55What are you doing walking around the city?
04:56Where's your truck?
04:57Alicia, get in your whip and go home.
05:00No, get in my car.
05:01I'm taking you home.
05:02I'm not going home, I'm not getting in your car.
05:04I'm good.
05:11Bruce.
05:13What happened?
05:16Look.
05:18Whatever it is, I'm sure it'll get worked out.
05:22Can the nigga just get some air?
05:23Not by the damn freeway, BJ.
05:25I just happened to be over there.
05:26Le-Le-Le, look.
05:28I'm about to go back and forth with your ass about this shit.
05:30Nigga, don't cuss at me.
05:32You got me driving around looking for your goofy ass.
05:35Then nobody asked you to come looking for me.
05:36Correction, fool.
05:37Charmaine did.
05:38And Charmaine didn't mind her own fucking business.
05:45You being an asshole.
05:48I just want to be left alone right now.
05:54Let me take you to your truck.
05:56And then I'll leave you alone.
05:59I'm a grown ass man.
06:00I think I can walk to my vehicle by myself.
06:02Your sarcasm is not needed, nigga.
06:04And if you were a grown ass man,
06:06you wouldn't be acting like a little boy whenever you go through shit.
06:18Anyways, you do something stupid tonight,
06:22I'm gonna kick your ass.
06:25I might own that.
06:29Yeah, alright.
06:31Be safe, stupid.
06:43I would be fond of Shit.
06:58What is this country?
07:07I'm sorry.
07:35Where the hell you been at?
07:36Oh, shit.
07:40Nigga, I have been sitting here for hours waiting on your ass to get back.
07:45Damn.
07:47My bad.
07:48I fell asleep on the couch waiting for you and all you got to say is my bad?
07:53Where were you at?
07:54The damn liquor store is only right up the street.
07:57But I know.
07:58Time got away from me.
08:00The fuck you mean time got away from you?
08:03What you do, doze off in the chip aisle, nigga?
08:09Did you forget I was here?
08:12And where the fuck is the wine?
08:14I asked your ass to bring me back some 19 crimes, hot Cheetos and a honey bun.
08:20It's been three hours and you came back here with nothing?
08:24Okay, and then you just gonna sit there with that stupid ass look on your face.
08:27You ain't got shit to say?
08:30Look, Bonita.
08:33I just had a lot on my mind.
08:35Like what, nigga?
08:36When you left here, I was on your damn mind.
08:40Maybe we should do this another night.
08:43Are you serious?
08:47Let me walk you to your car.
08:49How about you walk this to your car and drive straight to hell, nigga?
08:54I finally agree to come to your house, trying to see where the night takes us, and you go rain
08:59man on me with your weird ass.
09:04Alright, I messed up.
09:07But I ain't weird.
09:08Do you know what the fuck weird means?
09:10Yes, I know what the word means.
09:12What then? Define it.
09:15It means strange, odd, out of the ordinary.
09:20Unexpected.
09:21Unexpected behavior, nigga.
09:23Abnormal.
09:24Do anything about this night seem normal to you?
09:27I didn't think so.
09:29So your weird ass needs to delete my damn number.
09:32Weird ass nigga.
09:34How the fuck you lose track of three hours?
09:37Do I look stupid?
09:38Do I look like Boo Boo the damn fool to you?
09:40I don't.
09:54Do I look like Boo Boo the damn fool?
09:56You always say my name like you surprised.
10:00What are you doing here?
10:02Same thing you are.
10:05And what is that?
10:07Try not to feel what you already feel.
10:12Damn
10:14E?
10:14Y'all finally caught up to yourselves
10:17Relax, nigga
10:18It's a dream
10:20Ain't nobody lying in dreams
10:22You always gotta narrate shit
10:24Only when people are pretending not to see what's right in front of them
10:30You remember the first time you looked at her different?
10:33Don't do that
10:33I ain't doing nothing
10:36I'm just saying
10:37Feelings don't ask permission
10:39And love
10:41Don't knock
10:41It just moves in
10:45Hey, this ain't fair
10:46Neither is pretending you don't want what you want
10:52If this was real
10:53Would you still look at me like that?
10:56I don't know how else to look at you
10:59And that's the part nobody tells you about love
11:07Sometimes it don't end messy
11:11Sometimes it just ends honest
11:14E
11:16E
11:18Nah, this ain't goodbye
11:20This is just the truth catching up
11:22You ever notice how quiet it gets
11:25When you stop fighting it?
11:35Feels like I'm exactly
11:37Where I'm supposed to be
11:42You still here?
11:46I ain't going nowhere
11:53Bruce
11:54The fuck?
11:57Bruce
11:57Bruce
12:00She needs you
12:02What?
12:04What?
12:05Bruce
12:06Wait
12:06Bruce
12:07Bruce
12:08Bruce
12:10Bruce
12:12Bruce
12:20Hey, Bruce
12:21Bruce
12:22Get up, nigga
12:25God damn
12:26Stinking here, bro
12:38So, what's up, man?
12:39You got moms and pops thinking you somewhere sick and dying
12:42Shit, it smelled like somebody in here dying
12:44Right
12:49Fuck you doing here
12:53Hold on
12:55What'd I do?
12:56I came here because you ain't answering our near phone, call, or text
12:59I would have took it personal, but the homie didn't heard from you either
13:02Well, with you, it is personal
13:03What?
13:05The fuck?
13:06Why?
13:06Nigga, you know why
13:07Bruce
13:08What's going on, man?
13:09I don't get it
13:10Why do you got the house looking and smelling like this?
13:14When last time you wash your ass?
13:16Dude, it smelled like a week
13:17Carlos, you can get the fuck out, nigga
13:19Hey, I was joking
13:20Do it look like I want to joke with you, man?
13:22No, it look like you want to sit here in the dark
13:24And your goddamn feelings
13:26Again
13:26Hey, man, get the fuck out
13:27Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait
13:28What are we doing?
13:30Hold on a second
13:31Bruce, what's going on, man?
13:33Bruce
13:34What, nigga?
13:35What's up, man?
13:36Make it make sense
13:37Got you over, Natasha
13:40Look, man, I just came over to make sure you was a'ight
13:42See, we both did
13:43Yeah, man, what's up with ours energy, bro?
13:45I guess y'all thought it was funny
13:46To push the whole me and Zara situation, huh?
13:49Zara?
13:49What are you talking about?
13:50Pushing me to rekindle with Zara
13:52Knowing she gay as fuck
13:56Zara ain't gay
13:57Guess the fuck she is, nigga
13:58I saw her with her whole girlfriend at Valley Liquor
14:01Man
14:03Hey, females hang out with their homegirls all the time
14:05They call each other girlfriend
14:06Yeah
14:06I know I saw it, Jerome
14:08They was together, nigga
14:09And Zara was dressed like Cleo from Set It Off
14:11Oh, that's different
14:13Nah
14:14Nah
14:15Nigga, I'm not playing, Carlos
14:16Y'all thought it was funny
14:17Pushing me to another stud and shit
14:24You really serious?
14:25Zara gay?
14:26DC, stop acting like you didn't fucking know, bruh
14:28Nigga, I didn't
14:29How the fuck not?
14:30Marquez is married to Zola
14:31So I know the nigga knew
14:32Ain't no fucking way he didn't know
14:33Nigga, I'm telling you
14:34I didn't
14:35So
14:37Just to be sure
14:38So Zara is gay?
14:39Nigga, I guess so
14:42Brucie
14:44What's going on, man?
14:47Talk to your brother
14:49How is it that you keep choosing these women, man?
14:51I didn't choose shit, Jerome
14:52It's because of these niggas
14:53Like I said
14:54I don't know shit
14:56And I'm not even sure that Marquez know
14:58And fuck that
14:59That nigga knew, man
14:59How you know?
15:01You talk to him
15:03You know my brother don't be on that type of time
15:05When the last time you see my brother play with any nigga like that?
15:09Did you even ask him?
15:11How you just gonna assume and hate a nigga without a conversation?
15:14Yeah, and the fact that this is the reason why you in seclusion
15:16Like, nigga
15:17If you don't pull your panties out your booty
15:19You acting like a hoe
15:21Not for the text pops, man
15:22Hey, hey
15:23Don't do that
15:24Instead of being mad at the world
15:25Matter of fact
15:26Mad at me and my brother
15:28Call that nigga, man
15:29Cause I'm telling you
15:31I don't know shit
15:32Yeah, and get some answers first
15:33Before you start cutting off your people
15:35Over here thinking you sick
15:36Something wrong with you
15:37And you're just suffering from hard box rejection
15:40And call mommy back, too
15:43First, wash your ass
15:50Can't believe you would think I'd do some shit like that
15:53Look, man
15:53Just shut up
15:55Judge
15:57Call Kez
15:58Figure that shit out
16:18Oh, this is so good in the morning
16:31Yeah, it is
16:35Don't even eat no breakfast
16:38Mmm
16:40Mmm
16:49Wait a second, babe
16:52Babe, you gotta be kidding me
16:55I know
16:57I just
16:58You just what?
16:59You not ready still?
17:00I mean
17:01I've
17:05When are you gonna be ready?
17:07I don't know
17:08I thought I would be by now
17:12Me, too
17:13Baby, I'm sorry
17:16Don't be like that
17:17Okay, let me make it up to you
17:19I got another orgasm behind my pillow
17:22If you want it
17:24You would make it up to me
17:25If you let me pleasure you
17:27Baby, I am pleased
17:28Okay, pleasing you pleases me
17:30I'm good
17:31So good
17:32All right
17:34Listen
17:35You're not the only one
17:36That likes to taste
17:37Christina
17:39I get that
17:40Do you?
17:42Yeah
17:47I'm gonna get ready for work
18:09Don't make no sense
18:10No, don't trip
18:11At least the judge was in a good mood
18:13Shit, I couldn't tell
18:14Every time I smiled at that host
18:16She turned the other way
18:18Well, maybe that's because
18:19She could feel the lies
18:20Through your smile
18:21You think so?
18:23Yeah, you kind of worked on that
18:25Fuck, man
18:27Girl, relax
18:28Okay, you got this
18:30Especially since that officer
18:31Seemed to be on your side
18:32Which is crazy
18:33Since he's the one
18:34That arrested you
18:35I guess so
18:36A lot
18:37Excuse me, ladies
18:39How you doing?
18:40Officer Taylor
18:41Nadia
18:42I will give you my last name
18:44But I got warrants
18:45Oh, is that right?
18:46No, I'm kidding
18:47I'm joking
18:47I abide by the law
18:49Unlike her
18:51I was joking too
18:53Miss Johnson
18:54I hope my testimony to the judge
18:56Really helps you in your favor
18:58Yeah, me too
19:00Thank you
19:00Of course
19:01Just keep making the right decisions
19:03All right
19:03I'm sure everything will be fast
19:05And over with
19:05For minimal consequences
19:08Y'all have a good one
19:10Nice to meet you
19:11Pleasure
19:16Minimal consequences, huh?
19:18Well, that was interesting
19:20Yeah, it was
19:21Yeah, it was
19:23What?
19:25Not what
19:25Why?
19:26Why what?
19:28Why would Officer
19:29Cute as hell
19:30Feel the need to come over here
19:32Introduce himself
19:33Just to talk to you?
19:34Why that?
19:36Talk to me
19:38The last I recall
19:39He came up to you
19:40And introduced himself to you
19:42So
19:43I don't know what you're talking about
19:44No, cut it
19:45That nigga was all over you
19:47Undressing you
19:48His eyes and everything
19:49Bitch, the lies you tell
19:50Oh, shit
19:53This your brother
19:54Come on
19:55We gotta go
19:56Hey, baby
19:57Tell me why they gave your sister life
19:59No parole
19:59But then she flashed a jury
20:01And then they let her off
20:02So it was okay
20:19Oh
20:20Big Bruce
20:21Back from M.I.A.
20:24Where you been?
20:25Did you know Zara was gay, man?
20:27And if so
20:27Why would you let me fuck with her
20:28No one of my previous issues?
20:30On top of that
20:31Why wouldn't you tell me
20:31She was pregnant?
20:33First off
20:34I'm gonna need you to shake my hand
20:35Before I answer
20:36Any questions you demand of me, bro
20:39My bad
20:41Hey
20:42Fuck you mean Zara gay
20:45So you ain't know?
20:46Hell no
20:47If I knew you'd know
20:48And how'd she gay
20:49If she gave you the panties?
20:50That's what I'm trying to make sense of, bro
20:52I don't know
20:52Man, it sounds like you making shit up, bro
20:54You still salty from when she dipped on you
20:56After you then scratched her little itch
20:57I thought you was over that, man
20:59I was over it, bro
21:00Until I saw her ass in Valley Liquor
21:02With a whole girlfriend
21:03And a baby bump
21:05Zara got a girlfriend?
21:06And a baby bump, nigga
21:09You sure?
21:10I'm 100% sure
21:11She's walking around looking like young M.A.
21:15Come on, man
21:17Cut that shit out, bro
21:18I'm dead serious, kids
21:22This is gonna fuck Zola up, man
21:24She probably already knew
21:27Fuck me
21:28If she knew, I'd know
21:31She pregnant
21:32Stas just gonna be walking around carrying babies, bro
21:37Wait
21:38Baby yours?
21:39Nah
21:40She said it wasn't mine
21:41Well, who baby is it?
21:42I don't know
21:42I didn't ask her
21:43Why not?
21:43Because I was in shock, Marquez
21:45I didn't know what the fuck to say
21:46Or ask
21:47You know what I'm saying?
21:48She said the baby was 100% not mine
21:49So
21:50That's what it was
21:52Hey
21:53So Zara came back in town with secrets
21:55That part
21:58And you thought I'd be keeping this for you
22:01You know how hard me and Zola
22:02Been trying to have a baby, man
22:05Yeah
22:05And why the fuck would I keep Zara being pregnant for you?
22:10You right, bro
22:10My bad, man
22:11Nah, fuck that
22:12You came over here trying to bang on me about some shit I didn't even know about
22:15And you dressed in all black
22:17Who think you Nino Brown?
22:19What, you gonna G-money me?
22:21Nah, man
22:21It's just a coincidence
22:22I just threw this on this
22:23Man, shut up, nigga
22:26Shut up, nigga
22:26Who that cares?
22:27All kind of goofy shit is happening in my life right now, bro
22:29I don't know what to think, man
22:31My mind is all fucked up
22:32You need to take your goofy ass back to that therapist nigga Tate told you about
22:36You still got some shit to unpack, nigga
22:41Now let me get back to this shit, man
22:44Fuck off my work site
22:47I'm bad, bro
22:50Take care of yourself, fuck nigga
22:53Love you too, bro
22:54Yeah, alright
22:55I don't know what to say
23:26D-Money, what's up?
23:28Hey, girl. You ready to have your mind blown?
23:32I mean, sure, I guess.
23:34What you trying to do with Equal Light or something?
23:36No. Much better than that. I got the call.
23:40What call?
23:41Effervescent. I got the call.
23:44What are you talking about?
23:46Pack your bags. I'll see you back in L.A. in two days.
23:50What?
23:54You going to have to do a little metro now?
24:00A little tensile.
24:02Yeah.
24:22Hey.
24:24What's up?
24:25How you doing?
24:29I'm all right.
24:30That's good.
24:34Figured it wouldn't make sense to hit you.
24:38Right.
24:42That night was crazy.
24:46Yeah.
24:49You and your girl able to work it out?
24:57Yeah.
24:58It's all bad.
25:01You know, we both wish we could take back that night.
25:04You're absolutely right.
25:08Pardon me if I am too eager to see you right now.
25:11You're not.
25:11I know what happened was messed up.
25:13Yeah.
25:13We shouldn't have been kicking it.
25:15You know what I'm saying?
25:16We was friends, right?
25:18Or something like it.
25:19I don't know about all that.
25:21What?
25:22No.
25:23I thought we was friends, but it felt more like seduction to me.
25:26Oh, you putting this all on me?
25:29If you wasn't at my house when Natasha pulled up, we'd still be together.
25:33What you mean?
25:34Because the last I remember, y'all was having problems before I came around.
25:39I feel guilty for being part of the reason that your girl left you.
25:43But I don't remember forcing you to unbutton my jeans.
25:47Yeah.
25:47I ain't the only one who wanted it.
25:51And so you know, I went to jail that night.
25:55But the difference between me and you is that I'm not blaming you for my shit.
26:03Reese.
26:06I know you got caught up with the police that night.
26:09My bad.
26:10I guess if you need something, wake me up.
26:13No.
26:16Jesus.
26:18Oh fuck.
26:21Oh fuck.
26:22Stay.
26:24Shh...
26:25Stay.
26:30Uh,
26:32Jason?
26:39We be here way before now.
26:42How's it going?
26:43No, the story doesn't change
26:49Can't let go cause you let it bounce
26:53I just tried to do the game
27:00Thought I was more than your homie
27:03More than your homie
27:06No
27:09Thought I was more than your homie
27:13More than your homie
27:16No
27:18No, I don't understand you
27:23How you love to love to cry
27:28Right after all you said no
27:32I broke a thousand times
27:36I
27:37Shoot
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