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Late Night with Seth Meyers - Season 13 - Episode 08: Ayo Edebiri, David Sedaris
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00:05From 30 Rockefeller Plaza in New York, it's Late Night with Seth Meyers.
00:12Tonight, Keenan Thompson, star of Broadway's Bob, actress Carrie Cohn.
00:18An all-new Closer Look.
00:25And now, Seth Meyers.
00:28Good evening, everybody. I'm Seth Meyers. This is Late Night. We hope you're doing well.
00:31And now, if you don't mind, we're going to get to the news.
00:34President Trump yesterday signed the Whole Milk for Healthy Kids Act into law.
00:39He got the idea after his last cognitive test.
00:44That's right. President Trump signed the Whole Milk for Healthy Kids Act into law,
00:48which allows schools and their cafeterias to receive federal funding to serve 2% milk
00:54to help wash down the 5% chicken.
00:59During the signing ceremony, President Trump offered reporters the chance to take a swig
01:03from a jug of milk, sitting on the Resolute desk, and said,
01:07Remember the old days when we were kids and everybody shared a bottle?
01:12Never thought I'd say this, but you're starting to sound a lot like Joe Biden.
01:17Yeah, I remember back in Scranton, we used to pass around the old milk jug, take a swig,
01:25and then we'd all sing for nickels.
01:28During the same ceremony, Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins appeared to tap President Trump
01:33on the shoulder twice to get his attention.
01:35Yeah, you got to tap pretty hard to get through those shoulder pads.
01:40It's like trying to get the attention of Barry Sanders.
01:44In a new interview, Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins said that the new dietary guidelines
01:49can still be affordable and added it can cost around $3 a meal for a piece of chicken,
01:54a piece of broccoli, corn tortilla, and one other thing.
01:58Huh, can the one other thing be a meal?
02:03President Trump said yesterday that he's been told on good authority
02:06that the Iranian government will not execute protesters and added,
02:10Who knows? Crazy world.
02:14What are you, a cab driver?
02:17It's a crazy world. I wouldn't want to be president.
02:20Knee a corner?
02:22Actor Matthew McConaughey has reportedly received eight trademarks
02:24for his popular catchphrases, including,
02:27All right, all right, all right, just keep living,
02:29and yes, I'll be in your commercial.
02:34The makers of cup noodles have unveiled three new flavors
02:37inspired by chicken wings, including spicy buffalo with ranch,
02:41lemon pepper, and garlic parmesan,
02:43which will accompany their original flavor, salt.
02:52I'm not okay with cup noodles.
02:55I miss the O.
03:01I mean, we used to have our cup of noodles
03:03right after we all drank from the same milk jug.
03:07A Malaysian woman was arrested recently on a flight
03:09that she allegedly purchased a ticket for,
03:11but arrived in a counterfeit flight attendant uniform.
03:14When asked if he was concerned, the pilot said,
03:17Oh, I'm not a pilot.
03:20According to a new study mid-January to early February
03:23is the best time to visit Disney World,
03:25while the best time to visit Six Flags
03:27is after you've had your shots.
03:32Finally, an Air Canada flight was recently forced
03:34to return to the Toronto airport after taxiing
03:36because a crew member was still in the cargo hold,
03:39while over at Spirit, that's business class.
03:42That was a monologue, everybody!
03:46We've got a great show for you tonight.
03:49He's one of the best to ever do it,
03:51the longest-serving cast member
03:52in the history of Saturday Night Live.
03:54Check him out on a new SNL this weekend
03:56with host Finn Wolfhard and musical guest A$AP Rocky,
03:59plus his first children's book,
04:02Unfunny Bunnies, in stores now.
04:03Keena Thompson is on the show, everybody!
04:09She's a fantastic actress to know from shows
04:11like The Leftovers, Fargo, and The White Lotus.
04:14She's currently starring in Bug,
04:15now playing on Broadway at the Samuel J. Friedman Theater
04:18in New York City.
04:19Carrie Coon will also be joining us!
04:23Before we get to all that.
04:25The president of the United States
04:28cursed out a union auto worker in Michigan
04:30after that worker accused the president
04:32of protecting pedophiles by refusing to release
04:35the Epstein files as required by law.
04:37And here's a fun fact.
04:38The thing I just told you?
04:39Not that big of a story.
04:41You know why?
04:42Because the president's also threatening
04:43to use the law from 1792
04:45to send the military into an American city.
04:47He's risking war with Europe
04:49over his fixation on Greenland.
04:50He's sending oil revenue from Venezuela
04:53to a bank account in Qatar.
04:54He's dismantling the independence of the Federal Reserve.
04:57He's overseeing a dramatic rise
04:58in the price of groceries.
04:59He is once again struggling to stay awake
05:03during a televised meeting
05:05in the most famous office in the world
05:07surrounded by at least a dozen people
05:09in the middle of the day.
05:11How do you fall asleep
05:12surrounded by that many people in broad daylight?
05:14That's like if Joy Behar fell asleep
05:16during the view.
05:19I can't even fall asleep at night
05:20when it's quiet in my own bed.
05:22Even if there's a jackhammer outside,
05:24that's still more soothing
05:25than the voice of RFK Jr.
05:28When you go through it all,
05:30yelling you to an autoworker
05:32was the quaintest thing he did this week.
05:34What a time we live in.
05:36For more on this,
05:37it's time for A Closer Look.
05:43It's worth remembering,
05:44amid everything that's happening right now,
05:46that Donald Trump is still very unpopular.
05:47His approval rating has been underwater for months,
05:49and it seems like almost everywhere he goes,
05:52he gets booed.
05:53It's a night of drama at the Kennedy Senate.
05:55Before the show and during intermission,
05:57some other audience members clapped for the president.
05:59Others booed him and shouted felon.
06:02Donald Trump ventured out
06:03from his Bedminster Golf Club
06:05just to get booed
06:06at today's FIFA Club World Cup final in New Jersey.
06:22Football fans could be heard booing
06:24President Trump during his appearance
06:26at the Lions and Commanders game.
06:28He was there to swear in new military members.
06:31I am seeing your name.
06:36Maybe their name was boo!
06:40Think about how unpopular you have to be
06:41to get booed at a football game
06:43while swearing in military recruits.
06:44That's like if you saw a golden retriever puppy
06:47cuddling with a six-month-old and said,
06:49Hey, those are the two who stole my wallet!
06:55And just to be clear, that was not an Eagles game,
06:58so the fans were definitely booing Trump, not the team.
07:01If it was Philly, obviously,
07:02the circumstances would be different.
07:04Get the president to a safe location.
07:05They're throwing batteries.
07:06No, no, that's for the mascot.
07:08Eagle down!
07:09Eagle down!
07:11All right, but so what?
07:12That was a football game.
07:13We all know football fans are commie libs.
07:15What about Trump's trip?
07:17We just know that.
07:19That's a known thing.
07:21What about Trump's trip to a Ford plant in Michigan this week?
07:25Surely, that must have gone better.
07:27Tonight's shocking new video from TMZ
07:29appears to show the president of the United States
07:32mouthing expletives and giving the middle finger
07:35to a heckler today in Detroit.
07:47Trump was responding to a heckler who shouted
07:49what sounds like, quote, pedophile protector
07:52as the president toured a Ford F-150 plant.
07:55President Trump appearing to give a heckler
07:57the middle finger and saying, F you twice.
07:59He got heckled by an autoworker.
08:01He's so unpopular, he turned a Ford plant
08:04into an Oberlin drum circle.
08:07Also, what does it say that the president
08:08of the United States heard someone yell
08:10pedophile protector and immediately thought,
08:12oh, he's talking to me?
08:16I mean, if you were walking down the street
08:17on a first date and heard police sirens
08:19and then your date yelled,
08:20they found me and dove behind a dumpster,
08:23that would be your last date.
08:24Also, can we please go back to this?
08:27Tonight's shocking new video from TMZ.
08:29I never thought I'd hear the word
08:31shocking new video from TMZ
08:33in a story about the president of the United States.
08:37Normally, when I hear those words,
08:38I think somebody's boob must have popped out
08:40on the red carpet.
08:41So it's pretty disappointing when it's this boob
08:43who popped out and stayed out.
08:46I just hope, I just hope the White House
08:49has an explanation for this embarrassing incident.
08:51In a statement to Newsweek,
08:53White House communications director Stephen Chiang
08:55seemingly confirmed the exchange, saying, quote,
08:57A lunatic was wildly screaming expletives
09:00in a complete fit of rage.
09:01Who are you talking about, the heckler or the president?
09:04Because that doesn't really narrow it down.
09:06A lunatic was wildly screaming expletives
09:08in a complete fit of rage
09:10sounds like the TV guy description
09:11of a Trump press conference.
09:14Seriously, which lunatic screaming expletives
09:17are you talking about?
09:18This one?
09:18Over the next 300 years.
09:21It's all boob.
09:22These stupid bastards.
09:23He was always a mean son of a bitch.
09:25He doesn't want to around with the United States.
09:28You dumb bastards.
09:29We don't need this boob.
09:30They don't know what the they're doing.
09:33Trump curses so much,
09:34he sounds like me watching Trump.
09:37Actually, he sounds like my dad watching me play golf.
09:41Oh, come on.
09:42It's your third drop of the day, stupid son of a bitch.
09:45Doesn't know what the he's doing.
09:46Dad, I can hear you.
09:48It's so on the nose that Trump is literally
09:50flipping off blue-collar union workers,
09:53the same people he's been screwing over for a decade now.
09:55He's chipped away at the power of unions.
09:57He's overseen a decline in manufacturing jobs,
09:59taking health care and food assistance
10:01away from millions of people,
10:02and overall, made the gap between the richest
10:05and the poorest even wider.
10:06It's almost like he's trying to
10:07around with the United States.
10:09But don't worry.
10:10Trump's team has a plan to make everyone happy.
10:12Grocery prices may be rising,
10:14but the administration has run the numbers
10:16and landed on a list of inexpensive foods
10:19that all Americans can enjoy.
10:21Let's welcome back to the show now
10:22the Secretary of Agriculture.
10:23Brooke Rollins joins us from the North Lawn.
10:25It still costs people a lot
10:27to go to the grocery store.
10:29When is that going to change?
10:31Well, here's what I would say.
10:33The cost of groceries are actually coming down.
10:36We've run over 1,000 simulations.
10:38It can cost around $3 a meal
10:41for a piece of chicken,
10:42a piece of broccoli,
10:44you know, corn tortilla,
10:45and one other thing.
10:47Okay.
10:49First of all, that sounds like a delicious meal.
10:52I love to sit down for dinner with my family
10:55and dig into a healthy plate
10:56that consists of one piece of chicken,
10:57one piece of broccoli,
10:59one corn tortilla,
11:00and because we're rolling in it,
11:04one other thing.
11:07That list is so bad,
11:08I'm guessing the one other thing
11:09is a single French fry
11:10you have to wrestle away from a pigeon
11:12in a McDonald's parking lot.
11:13Give me that!
11:15Yeah, I'm making dinner for $3.
11:16I need one other thing!
11:21If I don't get this,
11:22the other thing's a rock!
11:24Seriously, one piece of chicken,
11:26one piece of broccoli,
11:26and one corn tortilla
11:27is your recommendation to Americans
11:29for what they should eat?
11:30That sounds like a meal
11:31aliens would bring to your cell
11:33after they abduct you.
11:34Please enjoy some of your Earth foods.
11:38You will need your strength
11:39for the probing.
11:42Also, I have to go back to this.
11:44We've run over 1,000 simulations.
11:46I'm sorry, you had to run
11:47over 1,000 simulations
11:50to add up the cost
11:51of three grocery items?
11:54Don't use the computer for that.
11:57That's not what the computer is for.
12:00Also, what do you mean
12:01it can cost $3?
12:02And how many of the simulations
12:04did it cost more?
12:05In one simulation,
12:07there was a corn virus,
12:08and the chickens ate the corn,
12:10and all the chickens died,
12:11and it was like a million dollars.
12:15But you know what?
12:16Trump's a man of the people.
12:16I'm sure this is also
12:17what he eats, right?
12:18He threw another extravagant party
12:21at Mar-a-Lago
12:21for his celebrity friends
12:23and loyal supporters,
12:24featuring opera performances,
12:26ice sculptures,
12:27and a lavish dinner.
12:29A great Gatsby-themed party,
12:30complete with dancers
12:32and champagne flowing.
12:33The champagne was flowing
12:35and the crab was piled high.
12:37He was in Mar-a-Lago
12:38golfing or hosting
12:40lavish parties
12:41with seafood towers
12:42and caviar and champagne.
12:46First of all,
12:46the great Gatsby
12:47is only like 180 pages.
12:49How did none of these people
12:50make it to the ending?
12:53Second, seafood tower?
12:54I tried to make a tower
12:55with my chicken,
12:56broccoli, and tortilla.
12:58That fell right over.
13:00And yeah,
13:01I put the tortilla on the bottom.
13:02I knew to put the tortilla
13:03on the bottom.
13:06Can you imagine
13:07if Trump tried serving that
13:08to his rich friends?
13:09Everyone,
13:10if you look at your menus tonight,
13:11you'll see...
13:16...
13:16...in the style of great Gatsby,
13:18the dinner is one piece of chicken,
13:19one piece of broccoli.
13:21One corn tortilla,
13:22and I'm just with you.
13:24We put a champagne luge
13:25on top of a tower of crab legs.
13:28You should have seen your faces
13:29when I said dinner
13:30was a corn tortilla.
13:31I thought Jeff was going to kill himself,
13:32but he didn't.
13:35He didn't kill himself.
13:37He didn't kill...
13:37When we release the files
13:39around 2037,
13:40you're going to see...
13:41...
13:44...
13:47He didn't kill it.
13:48He didn't do it.
13:50But don't worry,
13:51if the corn tortilla
13:52doesn't sound appetizing to you,
13:53there is one more thing
13:55you can add to your meal now,
13:56thanks to President Trump.
13:57Milk.
13:58Whole milk will be back
13:59on the menu
14:00for millions of student lunches.
14:02At the White House,
14:03President Trump put his signature
14:04on the Whole Milk
14:06for Healthy Kids Act.
14:07So milk would help
14:08your cognitive ability?
14:10Absolutely.
14:11You can tell who's been...
14:12Take a cognitive test.
14:15Some milk.
14:15I've taken a lot of them.
14:17I've aced every one of them
14:19because I drink milk.
14:20All right, first of all,
14:21there's no way you drink milk.
14:23Unless someone tricked you
14:25into thinking your Diet Coke
14:26came from a cow.
14:27This is actually milk.
14:28It just comes out
14:29of a different teat.
14:30It's like the soda fountain
14:32at a Taco Bell.
14:33Once for milk,
14:33once for Diet Coke,
14:34once for Mountain Dew.
14:43I just want to say now
14:44to everybody here and at home,
14:45I asked for that graphic
14:47and I...
14:49I own it.
14:50I own my mistake.
14:54But I think collectively,
14:55maybe we can all unsee it.
14:57No?
15:00Also, that was Ben Carson
15:01answering him.
15:02I know he's a doctor,
15:03but I wouldn't trust him
15:04when it comes to cognitive abilities.
15:06Do you guys remember this?
15:07We just saw Mr. Trump here.
15:08I asked him,
15:09how did it go?
15:09And he said, great.
15:10And he said he learned
15:11a lot of things.
15:12What do you think he took away
15:13from today?
15:14My luggage.
15:17Hold on.
15:17Okay.
15:18Looks like Dr. Carson
15:19is going to try
15:20and find his luggage.
15:21Uh-oh.
15:22Looks like someone forgot
15:23to drink their milk today.
15:27I've forgotten so many
15:28insane things
15:28from the last 10 years,
15:29but I will never forget that clip.
15:30But you heard Trump.
15:32His brain is the way it is
15:33because he drinks milk.
15:34What's the condition
15:36of this milk anyway?
15:37We have some milk here.
15:39It's been sitting here
15:40for five days, so...
15:43It's from the original bottle.
15:45Oh, it all makes sense now.
15:47I drank this rotten milk
15:48and it made my brain do good.
15:51Also, what do you mean
15:52it came from the original bottle?
15:55Do you genuinely not know
15:56that milk comes from cows?
15:57Does he think it's like whiskey?
15:58This milk has been aged
16:00in the finest plastic.
16:02For 47, it comes from
16:03the milk region of France.
16:05That's, of course, spelled M-I-L-Q-U-E.
16:08So you know it's legit.
16:10And then, to prove
16:11his cognitive abilities,
16:13Trump made a very astute point
16:14about the term whole milk.
16:16So pay attention.
16:17Maybe you can use this
16:18next time you're at Bar Trivia.
16:20Schools will finally be able
16:21to expand their offerings
16:22to include nutritious whole milk.
16:25It's actually a legal definition,
16:27whole milk.
16:30And it's whole with a W
16:31for those of you
16:32that have a problem.
16:42I think I know what happened here.
16:44In the meeting where they decided
16:46on this new milk policy,
16:47Trump asked his aides,
16:48which hole does the milk come from?
16:51And then they said,
16:52uh, excuse me?
16:55And he said,
16:56it's called whole milk.
16:57What hole does it come out of?
17:00And they said,
17:00sir, it's whole with a W.
17:02And now he's explaining it
17:04to all of us.
17:07Seriously, what the hell would it be
17:08if it didn't have the W in front?
17:10What is whole milk?
17:12Oh, is that,
17:13is that the one other thing?
17:19No one cares about any of this.
17:21People just want to be able
17:22to afford healthcare, housing, food.
17:24They want to not get harassed
17:25or assaulted by federal agents.
17:27Instead, Republicans are threatening
17:28that America can wage war anytime,
17:30anywhere, from Iran
17:32to Greenland to Venezuela.
17:34The United States has demonstrated
17:36to the people around the world
17:37that we can touch you anywhere
17:39at any time of our choosing.
17:40Yeah, I don't think
17:42that's how you wanted to say that.
17:44Anywhere, anytime,
17:45we can touch you
17:46and get your whole milk.
17:50Trump promised to improve people's lives
17:51and make things more affordable.
17:53Instead, he's threatening
17:53to annex Greenland,
17:55send the military
17:55into an American city.
17:56His poll numbers are low,
17:58so he's pulling stuff out of his ass,
18:00which, incidentally,
18:00is also where he gets his...
18:02Whole milk.
18:05This has been A Closer Look.
18:10We'll be right back
18:11with Keenan Thompson, everybody.
18:18For more of Seth's Closer Looks,
18:19be sure to subscribe
18:20to Late Night on YouTube.
18:30Our biggest guest tonight
18:31is an Emmy Award-winning comedian
18:33and the longest-serving cast member
18:35in the history of Saturday Night Live.
18:36SNL returns this week
18:38with host Finn Wolfhard
18:40and musical guest A$AP Rocky.
18:41His debut children's book,
18:43Unfunny Bunny,
18:44is in stores now.
18:45Please welcome back to the show
18:46one of the best,
18:46our very good friend,
18:47the legend,
18:48Keenan Thompson, everybody.
19:09Dear friend, how are you?
19:11I'm great, bud.
19:12How are you?
19:13How are y'all?
19:14Happy New Year!
19:17Congratulations.
19:18You wrote your first child's book.
19:20Look how cute!
19:21It's so cute.
19:22I love it.
19:23I love it.
19:23And you...
19:24So you dedicated it to George and Gianna.
19:26I sure did.
19:27Your daughters.
19:27My children.
19:28I wrote a children's book
19:29and dedicated it to my children.
19:30And so my question is,
19:32like, you know,
19:32have you read it to them
19:33and are they hard critics?
19:35Are they honest feedback givers?
19:37I let them read it on their own
19:39because they're very independent souls.
19:41You know,
19:41that's how this generation is.
19:43They're very independent.
19:44And they loved it.
19:45Oh, great.
19:46Well done.
19:46They were very sweet about it.
19:48Yeah.
19:49It's very proud.
19:50So this is about a bunny
19:51who wants to be funny at school.
19:53You know the feeling.
19:54Yep.
19:55Yeah.
19:57I wore that.
19:59Same.
19:59I told several jokes
20:00that did not land.
20:02But it's also a lovely story
20:03about collaboration
20:04because meets a hedgehog.
20:07100%.
20:07I mean, I guess my favorite example of that
20:09is, like, Sandler and Herlihy.
20:10Yeah.
20:11I don't know if you know this,
20:12but Sandler and Herlihy
20:13were roommates day one of college.
20:15Yeah.
20:16And then they wrote every movie
20:17that you know Adam Sandler
20:18has probably done
20:19in the last 20, 30 years.
20:20It's a collaborator.
20:21It's like finding a collaborator.
20:22I mean, you know,
20:23you think, like,
20:23Will Ferrell and Adam McKay.
20:25I think about you and Brian Tucker.
20:27Big time.
20:27Who you co-wrote the book with.
20:29That's right.
20:29Shout out to Brian Tucker.
20:30Thank you very much.
20:32So I can't remember exactly
20:33what year Brian showed up.
20:35I feel like it's, like,
20:36about in 05, 06, right?
20:37Yeah, it was early on.
20:38And you guys immediately clicked.
20:40Like, he just found your voice
20:41in a way that,
20:42I mean, again,
20:43you'd been in a lot of sketches,
20:44but, like, you guys
20:44became a real team.
20:45Well, he speaks black language.
20:47Yeah.
20:47So we communicate very well.
20:50Yeah, yeah, yeah.
20:50We communicate very well.
20:51And for anybody
20:52who's picturing him,
20:53you wouldn't know it
20:54from looking at him.
20:55At all.
20:55Yeah.
20:56No.
20:57He's the super opposite of me.
20:59But, you know,
20:59when I say black language,
21:00it's just a love of the culture.
21:01So if anyone's seen Benson,
21:04you know, we can talk.
21:06Yeah.
21:07You guys got that working for you.
21:08Yeah, yeah.
21:09We're on the same page.
21:10Yeah, like, for example,
21:11you guys...
21:11Anybody that knows Robert Guillaume...
21:15This is, by the way,
21:17so this is what year
21:17for you on SNL?
21:18This is the Jordan year, 23.
21:2023.
21:21All right.
21:25So that means...
21:26We ran the numbers,
21:27which means, let's see,
21:28I want to make it...
21:28Five more seasons,
21:30you will have been on SNL
21:31more than half of the SNLs.
21:33That's Chris.
21:34Yeah.
21:35So you're the longest-serving...
21:3628 and 56.
21:37And then they'll be...
21:38Yeah, they'll be 55.
21:39Yeah, 28 and 56.
21:40Exactly, yeah.
21:41Interesting.
21:42That's fantastic.
21:43That's too much, I'd say.
21:44So you were there for the 40th?
21:46You were there for the 50th?
21:47Yeah.
21:48I was there for the 60th, 70th?
21:49Yep.
21:51The 50th, you got to do...
21:52I mean, you got to do
21:53some stuff with Legends.
21:54You did Black Jeopardy.
21:5550th is very special.
21:56I mean, so that's Chris Rock,
21:58Eddie, Leslie, Tracy.
22:01I mean, to be able to say
22:03that all of these people
22:04are my friends is one thing.
22:05You know, it's very, very special
22:07because it's not lost on me
22:08that they were my heroes
22:09before I met them, you know?
22:10Like, Tracy Morgan,
22:12like, my original brother in the game,
22:14took us to Fridays, day one.
22:16So that was nice.
22:17And then the legendary Eddie Murphy,
22:19who I never thought I'd ever be,
22:20you know, close to,
22:22let alone acting with,
22:23let alone acting in, you know,
22:25something that's one of our sketches
22:26kind of thing.
22:27And then Chris Rock out there
22:29and Leslie Jones is my dog.
22:30So this moment right here,
22:33being in front of, like,
22:34the whole comedic industry,
22:36of course, and the rest of it.
22:37And we're all so happy to see it.
22:38Special.
22:39And then you also did our,
22:41you know, our dear friend,
22:42Colin Jost, right, Scared Straight.
22:43And that's how you...
22:44Now that's you and Eddie
22:46and Will Ferrell as well.
22:47100%.
22:48And that was like,
22:48I was watching that,
22:49and I'm like, oh my God,
22:49this feels like, you know,
22:51like, I feel like I'm playing,
22:52like, Sim City, but for comedy,
22:54that I would, like,
22:55put these people together.
22:56Yes, yeah.
22:56I mean, shout out to Michael Shoemaker,
22:58number one,
22:59for putting me and Colin together.
23:00We were office mates for eight years.
23:02Yeah.
23:03And yeah, Scared Straight
23:04came out of that.
23:05And I just love Eddie,
23:06because this is sketch number two
23:08that the great Eddie Murphy
23:09is performing in.
23:10He could have easily just been
23:11in the audience, chilling,
23:12but he wanted to get down.
23:13And then Will Ferrell comes in
23:15with the booty shorts.
23:19Will, no one has had
23:20more body positivity
23:21over his time at SNL
23:23than Will Ferrell.
23:24He was like, yep,
23:25I'm going to use it.
23:26I'm going to use it.
23:26It's a tool.
23:27It's another tool.
23:28Look how light and bright
23:30the thighs are.
23:32That's bright thighs.
23:33Those are bright thighs.
23:34Very hard to light.
23:35Yeah.
23:36All right, so real quick,
23:38not all of your sketches
23:39over the years have been a hit.
23:41True.
23:42Yeah.
23:43We dug up some of our favorites
23:46that, you know,
23:47just did not work at the table,
23:48but we appreciate it.
23:49Well, the good news is
23:49they get cut.
23:50You did have a sketch,
23:51I will say,
23:52and we were going to talk
23:52backstage.
23:53I feel like this one
23:53you could actually bring back,
23:55because, right,
23:55not everything works,
23:56but Weez and Steven.
23:58Yes.
24:01Weez and Steven was like,
24:02is he supposed to be
24:03like James Brown?
24:04Yeah, he was like
24:04a James Brown guy, yeah.
24:05And I think it's like
24:06James Brown if he had asthma
24:08or something like that.
24:09So, like,
24:10we don't really know,
24:11like, how he got
24:12the career that he got,
24:14because he can't finish a song.
24:15Yeah.
24:16There was a lot of the audience
24:17was constantly fearing
24:18that he had had
24:18a full heart attack.
24:19Everybody's worried.
24:19Yeah.
24:20Yeah, yeah.
24:20So wasn't it that, like,
24:21because James Brown
24:21would always do this, like,
24:23wonderful bit of theatrics
24:24where he was like,
24:24I can't go on,
24:25I can't go on.
24:26You know, they put a cape on him.
24:27This is more like,
24:28don't worry, I'll be fine.
24:30It was the reverse,
24:31where he's like,
24:32you don't have to worry about me,
24:33but everybody's like,
24:33I'm not enjoying this.
24:34A lot of these,
24:35like, one second.
24:37Yeah.
24:39All right,
24:39we got a lot more to ask.
24:40You'll be right back
24:41with Kenan Thompson
24:42after this.
24:42Yeah.
25:01Welcome back, everybody.
25:02We're here
25:03with the great Kenan Thompson.
25:05So you've written
25:05a children's book.
25:06You've written a memoir.
25:07Yes.
25:08But you also,
25:09under a pen name,
25:11you have a pretty robust career
25:13writing,
25:14hopefully I'm saying this right,
25:15I don't mean to,
25:16like, besmirch the genre,
25:17would you say
25:18science fiction erotica?
25:20That's a,
25:22that's precisely accurate.
25:23Yeah, yeah.
25:24Yes, absolutely.
25:25And you write,
25:25you write under the pen name,
25:27uh,
25:29Pernice LeFunk.
25:30Yeah.
25:31And these books,
25:31you know,
25:32they fly off the shelves.
25:33Yeah,
25:34they got their own
25:35little fan base
25:35and he enjoys it.
25:37Yeah.
25:37It's one of those things
25:38that he grew up doing
25:39and, you know,
25:39I don't know.
25:40It's just...
25:40He's like an alter ego
25:41and, like,
25:42for anybody who's surprised
25:42right now,
25:43the reason is, like,
25:44one, you kind of
25:45don't own up to it
25:46and, two,
25:46when Pernice appears,
25:48when we're graced
25:48with his presence,
25:49he does not look
25:50exactly like you.
25:51Not at all.
25:52Yeah.
25:52Completely different person
25:53that exists in the world.
25:55Yeah.
25:56That happens to be
25:57writing these things.
25:58I don't know why
25:58it's related to me.
25:59You know what I mean?
26:00I know.
26:00I know you have a thing
26:01in your head
26:02that's very helpful.
26:02Well, let me just assist
26:04in what you're getting at.
26:05Would you like to see
26:06if Pernice is here tonight?
26:09So, like,
26:10I'll go look for him.
26:11I'll go look for him.
26:14I'll find him.
26:16I'll go look for him.
26:22Our next guest
26:23is a gifted author.
26:24You know from his
26:25best-selling books
26:26Quinsley's Nebula
26:28and Amazon Boobies
26:30on the Moon.
26:31He's back with
26:32a highly anticipated
26:33fourth,
26:34that's right,
26:34fourth volume
26:35from his thrilling
26:36Quark series
26:37of Space Erotica.
26:38Please welcome back
26:39to the show
26:39our friend
26:40Pernice Lafonque.
26:59It is so lovely
27:01to see you again,
27:01Pernice.
27:02Oh, safely,
27:02it's been years.
27:04Good to see you
27:05as well.
27:06You know,
27:06I always regret
27:07that I don't ask you
27:08more about your
27:09writing process
27:10when you're here,
27:10Pernice.
27:11How do you go about it?
27:12Well,
27:13I think I start
27:14with what excites me,
27:16you know?
27:16Honestly.
27:17And I would just say
27:19it's a gift from God
27:22to enjoy
27:23Space Erotica.
27:25You know,
27:26it's always a pleasure
27:26to have you share
27:27an excerpt
27:28from your latest
27:30space erotica adventure.
27:31Do you mind
27:32Do you mind if I read
27:32from my new
27:33latest book?
27:34I mean,
27:34it would be an honor.
27:35It's called
27:37The Legacy of Booty.
27:40Yes.
27:45Now,
27:46I don't take this
27:47as a criticism,
27:48but I do feel like
27:49the titles
27:49are getting worse.
27:54Chapter 69.
27:57One of my favorites.
27:59Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:59I feel like you almost
28:00always read
28:01from Chapter 69.
28:02100.
28:03This one is called
28:04The Welcome Stowaway.
28:06Okay.
28:10Having narrowly escaped
28:12the clutches
28:13of the evil emperor
28:14Bootyus Maximus,
28:16Captain Val Teferens
28:18pumped the throttle
28:20of his not-so-trusty ship,
28:22the MILF-Linium Falcon.
28:26He desperately needed
28:27to refuel a risk
28:29being plunged
28:29into the vast crevice
28:30of Badoodoo.
28:34Needing to pick up
28:35the pace,
28:36he spanked
28:37the control perno.
28:39All of a sudden,
28:40ka-chonk!
28:41Ka-spritz!
28:43Green fluid sprayed
28:45all over the motherboard
28:46of the ship.
28:48Oh.
28:49Can I say what I love
28:51is it always,
28:52you always make it seem
28:53like it's the first time
28:54you're reading it.
28:54Thank you very much.
28:56I'm very familiar
28:57with all of my writings.
28:58Yes.
29:00The makeshift repair
29:02to the fuel tank
29:04didn't take.
29:05Prematurely gushing
29:06propellant,
29:09soaking Val's face,
29:10making it nearly impossible
29:11to navigate
29:12the MILF-Linium Falcon.
29:15If twere the end,
29:17thank the star
29:18of Giz...
29:20The star of what,
29:22Pernice?
29:22Gizonicus.
29:23Gizonicus.
29:23Yes.
29:24The star of Gizonicus.
29:27That he was the only one
29:29aboard,
29:30for Val would surely
29:31meet his maker
29:32in the deep,
29:33dark crevice below.
29:34Wow.
29:37I mean,
29:39Pernice LeFong,
29:40Kenan Thompson,
29:42your friend Kenan
29:43also wrote a book.
29:43My friend,
29:44my dear friend.
29:45I heard him do it.
29:45Unmoney Bunny is in stores now.
29:47SNL returns with Ben Wolf,
29:49our ASAP Rocky.
29:50We'll be right back
29:51with Carrie Coon.
29:52Yeah!
30:12Our next guest is an Emmy and Tony-nominated actress
30:15you know from shows like The Leftovers, Fargo,
30:18The Gilded Age, and The White Lotus.
30:19She's starring in Bug, which is playing
30:21at Manhattan Theatre Club's Samuel J. Friedman Theatre
30:24on Broadway. Please welcome back to the show
30:26our friend, Carrie Coon, everybody!
30:42Hi! How are you?
30:44Good. A little tired.
30:46I would imagine you're on Broadway, my friend.
30:48I'm on Broadway.
30:48You're on Broadway.
30:49Back on the Broadway. Thank you.
30:51It's nice to be back.
30:52And you just opened.
30:53You got a New York Times Critics' Pick.
30:55Congratulations.
30:56I would imagine the lead-up to any opening night
30:58is stressful, but this one, I would imagine,
31:00of all the ones you've had, was the most taxing.
31:03It was, because I have to...
31:04This is my chance to apologize publicly
31:06for canceled shows the day before,
31:09halfway through our Wednesday matinee,
31:11and then the Wednesday evening show,
31:12and it was my fault.
31:13Wow. It was my fault.
31:14And how many times in your acting career
31:16has this show been canceled because of you?
31:17I have missed one show.
31:19Okay, so this was...
31:19Gastrointestinal distress.
31:21Oh, I got it.
31:21You can't be naked with that.
31:22Yeah, you can't.
31:23Um, and, uh, so we were doing the matinee,
31:26and there's a moment where I squirt fake blood into my nose,
31:29and as soon as the fake blood hit my throat,
31:31I started to cough, which, you know, it's not unusual.
31:33But then I realized that my throat was closing every 12 seconds.
31:37Who knew?
31:37Yeah, who knew?
31:38Namir Smallwood, a marvelous actor.
31:40He's very calm in his body, but his eyes are saying,
31:43what the heck is going on?
31:45And I could feel it coming, so I was trying to talk around it,
31:48but every now and then it would happen.
31:49And then my voice would go like this.
31:51And the audience couldn't really tell what was going on.
31:53So we finished the act.
31:55We go offstage.
31:55My director comes.
31:56He's like, are you okay?
31:57And I said, no.
31:58No, I'm not okay.
31:59And they sent his assistant to the pharmacy.
32:01They got me Afrin and Pepsid AC and Advil,
32:04and I just filled my body with things.
32:06Yeah, that's what they tell you to do.
32:08Yeah, just put all the things in.
32:09Go to CVS, get everything, eat it.
32:10Get everything you can buy,
32:11and then just take it all at once without reading the labels.
32:14So we did that.
32:15And then we kind of held to see if it would stop.
32:16And it didn't stop.
32:17Wow.
32:18It didn't stop.
32:19And so was this sort of like during the intermission,
32:21you were actually trying to like put it.
32:22And so then.
32:23And then they just decided to cancel the show,
32:25which again, it's never, it's awful.
32:27And I went into an otolaryngologist at 5 p.m.
32:31We kept her, she stayed in her office and I got scoped.
32:33And my vocal cords were totally fine,
32:35but you could see my throat just like contracting.
32:37And that, but they managed to treat it so that you,
32:39you did a show the next day?
32:40I mean, I, it happened all night long.
32:42And so the next day was our opening night, 6 p.m.
32:45We didn't know if we were going to,
32:46if the show was going to go on because it was still happening.
32:48But I went back to her office and there was an acupuncturist.
32:51Wow.
32:52And he puts, he put needles in my ear.
32:54I don't know.
32:54And then I went and got a massage.
32:56Yeah.
32:56And then I went and gave a whole speech to the cast about like,
32:58this might happen.
32:59Let's just pretend the character has this problem.
33:01This laryngeal spasm.
33:03Yeah.
33:03But it went away at like five o'clock.
33:05Wow.
33:06And my husband was terrified.
33:07Yeah.
33:08Because he's not only, it's his show.
33:09You know, he's the writer.
33:10Yeah, he wrote it.
33:10Yes.
33:11And he, so he's worried about his opening night.
33:13But he's also worried about his wife.
33:15So that was very stressful for him.
33:16So yeah.
33:16Did he ever say like, just a reminder,
33:18this character doesn't have your ailment.
33:22Actually, in fact, he was one of the,
33:24he was the one who said the night before,
33:25when we were going down the Google rabbit hole thinking I had,
33:27you know, a neurological disorder.
33:30He said, he said, it's okay.
33:32He's like, maybe Agnes has this problem.
33:34Yeah.
33:34Because of her trauma in her life.
33:36And we're just going to embrace it.
33:38That was his way of saying, you can't miss opening night.
33:40Yeah, probably.
33:41But it was a, it was a great show.
33:43And we had a lovely audience.
33:44Yes.
33:44The reviews have been great.
33:47Your husband, Tracy Letts, who's wonderful,
33:50who's been here before.
33:51You first knew of him as a playwright.
33:54Yeah, sort of.
33:55It was for August Osage County.
33:56Which is an incredible play.
33:57Which I've never seen it.
33:59I've never seen it.
34:01I've read it.
34:02I was in Wisconsin doing Shakespeare thing.
34:05Ooh, a Wisconsinite.
34:06American Players Theater, Spring Green, Wisconsin.
34:08Anybody?
34:09Yes.
34:10I was there for four years doing Shakespeare.
34:12They're going to love that I mentioned them.
34:13And I heard about this play, Taking Chicago by Storm.
34:17And I was like, good for that lady from Oklahoma,
34:19writing that amazing play.
34:21Oh, because his name is Tracy.
34:21I thought he was a girl, like everybody does.
34:22Yeah.
34:23And now I'm married to that lady, so.
34:27Now, so this is a play he wrote in the late 90s.
34:29Mm-hmm.
34:30You've done it before.
34:31You did it about five or six years ago.
34:33Yeah.
34:33And I'm wondering, like, what is the process
34:36when he's the playwright and you're the star
34:39and you obviously are married?
34:40Is he good at giving notes?
34:42Is he good at receiving them?
34:43Yeah.
34:44You know, he doesn't get notes on a 30-year-old play.
34:46That stuff is published.
34:47Yeah, yeah.
34:47That's a movie with Mike Shannon.
34:48Like, that's all.
34:49That's done.
34:50But he does sometimes come to rehearsals
34:51to tell us about, you know, what it's like to smoke crack,
34:54which is something I've never done.
34:55Yeah.
34:55And, um, but he has.
34:57And, um, and so it's good to have him around
34:59for that kind of fact finding.
35:01And, but, you know, he's, he has a good relationship
35:02with our director.
35:03Obviously, the director is the person giving notes, but.
35:05And not every Broadway director wants the writer in rehearsal.
35:08And most writers are dead.
35:09Yeah.
35:09He's our greatest living playwright.
35:11Yeah, yeah.
35:11And so when he, you know, but every now and then
35:13when Tracy's there, he'll, he'll like drop in.
35:15You know, he gave me like two really, really great notes.
35:18During preview period.
35:18And we only had one week of rehearsal.
35:20Yeah.
35:20Because this was considered a remount,
35:22even though it was four years ago.
35:23Oh, my God.
35:23How does he address you when he's giving you notes?
35:25Because it must be weird that, you know, obviously you're.
35:27Carrie Coon.
35:28Yes, sir.
35:29That's how we.
35:29He really uses your full name?
35:31He does, yeah.
35:32Wow.
35:32Yeah, it's kind of sweet.
35:33I mean, kind of a turn on.
35:36Powerful.
35:36Yeah, very powerful.
35:37I'm a sucker for a powerful man.
35:38I'm going to start using my wife's first and last name.
35:40Try it.
35:41I'm going to try it.
35:42I got to try something.
35:43I got to try something.
35:44Well, you know, it's hard.
35:46Monogamy is hard, honey.
35:48I'm going to come home and be like,
35:49Alexia, she's going to be like,
35:50Ugh, who told you?
35:51Am I in trouble?
35:53You mentioned rabbit holes and, like, going with your,
35:55like, medical issue.
35:57Yeah.
35:57This is a play about people going into rabbit holes.
36:00And so it feels like it's amazing that it was written
36:02sort of in the mid to late 90s.
36:04And it feels so prescient.
36:05Today, you talked about it being a remount.
36:07How quickly did this play come back to you,
36:09having not done it for five years?
36:11We were, I was scared.
36:12You know, the second time, because we did it during the pandemic.
36:14And then the pandemic shut us down.
36:16So the audiences got quieter and quieter.
36:18And we're talking about like a, you know,
36:19the government implanting a virus or whatever.
36:21Yeah, it's weird timing.
36:23Yeah, weird timing.
36:23We brought it back to reopen the theater after the pandemic.
36:26And it was the rise of QAnon.
36:28Yeah, yeah, yeah.
36:28And then the conspiracy thinking was really kind of the focus of it.
36:32And now, you know, I was, I thought it was,
36:34I was 13 weeks postpartum the second time we did it.
36:37So I don't remember any of it.
36:38I thought there's no way it's still in there,
36:40but you know, we got in and did a workshop and it was really,
36:42it's surprising what your body remembers.
36:44And then it just goes another layer deeper.
36:45And then you have the privilege of doing it in front of the audience now.
36:49And when it's a good play, you know,
36:50the play stays the same and the audience changes.
36:52And so I think what the audience responds to now is a line like,
36:56um, we'll never really be safe again.
37:00Really, I, like I said, I'm really fun at parties.
37:03Um, and, and there's a whole thing about the machines, you know,
37:06like how the machines, people are working their machines.
37:08And everyone thinks Tracy changed the lines.
37:10Yeah.
37:10But he didn't.
37:11That's unbelievable.
37:11This stuff was all on the internet.
37:13You know, this was just the beginning.
37:14Tracy realized when he wrote the play, it's his most well-researched play,
37:18that the internet was going to be a source of this kind of
37:20conspiracy thinking.
37:22These are things he found there.
37:23I'm so bummed he was right.
37:24I know.
37:24Isn't that sad?
37:25It's a bummer when you're like,
37:26when a smart person has an idea of what the future is and you're like,
37:29Oh no, I wish you were dumber.
37:31I know.
37:31It is depressing.
37:332012 was your Broadway debut.
37:35Who's the grade of Virginia Woolf.
37:37What was your,
37:37what was your first, uh,
37:39reaction to like being in a Broadway theater?
37:41Well, it's, it's every actor's dream.
37:43Every theater actor dreams of being on Broadway.
37:45And then you get there and you realize just how the dressing rooms are.
37:49And then you realize you're just doing a play.
37:51Yeah.
37:51You know, in the best way.
37:52Yeah.
37:52You realize that you do know how to do it.
37:54And then it's nothing has changed.
37:56The rhythm of it is the same, you know.
37:57Right.
37:57You know what the job is.
37:58That's not why the bathrooms are ,
37:59but it is helpful.
38:00Yeah.
38:01They're old buildings.
38:01That it like keeps you grounded and reminds you to like.
38:03It's just like doing storefront theater when I literally,
38:06I remember seeing like a rat, you know,
38:07like dragging my sweater across the bathroom floor.
38:10Like, oh, well, I guess, I guess he's going to use that.
38:11Towards you as a favor or away from you.
38:14Taking it away.
38:14Yeah, yeah, yeah.
38:14That's a bummer.
38:15They're just completely unfazed by human beings.
38:17Yeah.
38:18Did you, I mean,
38:18Broadway must have changed a great deal,
38:20even though 2012 doesn't feel that long ago,
38:22but it does feel like,
38:23like all media, it's just shifting so quickly.
38:26Yes.
38:26I mean, the economics have changed.
38:28We live in a country that doesn't have a lot of government support
38:30for the arts.
38:31I don't know if you noticed that.
38:32Yeah.
38:32Um, so everyone's fighting for the same dollars.
38:35So any more, you know, producers in theaters,
38:37they have to consider the, you know,
38:39the Q rating, the sort of popularity of the people they put in a play.
38:42I think if we were doing Virginia Woolf now with the same cast,
38:45there's no way it would come to Broadway.
38:46And that, I mean, that play changed my life.
38:48So as an actor coming up in that community,
38:51it's, it's sad to feel like that dream is,
38:53is not accessible to us anymore, you know,
38:56but that's just the economics of making art in the country
38:59where there isn't support for the arts.
39:00It's very hard.
39:01Well, it would be lovely if the one of the futures,
39:03maybe ask Tracy to imagine this future and have it come to pass
39:06that maybe there's one day where, uh,
39:08the government will support artists the way it supports other people.
39:10Maybe, wouldn't that be lovely?
39:10We can hope. We can hope.
39:11Let's hope.
39:12Yeah.
39:13It's so lovely to see you again.
39:15You guys, this is Carrie Coon.
39:16Bungus playing in Manhattan Theater Club,
39:18Samuel J. Friedman Theater on Broadway.
39:20We'll be right back, everybody.
39:35Come join the audience at Late Night Live in Studio 8G.
39:38For tickets, head over to latenightsethtickets.com.
39:41Follow us at Late Night Seth on all social media platforms.
39:45Subscribe to Late Night Seth on YouTube.
39:47Find us online at latenightseth.com.
39:50And subscribe to the Late Night Podcast,
39:52featuring a closer look, guest interviews, and more.
39:55Available wherever you listen to podcasts.
40:05I want to thank my guests, Kenan Thompson and Carrie Coon, everybody.
40:08Check out all the corrections over on YouTube now.
40:10Thanks for watching. We love you, everybody.
40:25We love you, everybody.
40:28Bye.
40:31Bye.
40:39Bye.
40:40Bye.
40:42Bye.
40:45Bye.
40:46Bye.
40:48Bye.
40:50Bye.
40:51Bye.
40:55You
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