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00:08My dear darling Peggy, I've been racking my brain to think of a good way of saying this.
00:17But the truth is, there is no good way. It breaks my heart to say it, but I'm leaving you.
00:28Perhaps there's a small part of you that is aware that no matter how hard I've tried, I've never quite
00:37been able to stop myself loving Pat.
00:43Oh, Pat and Frank's relationship was complicated, to say the least.
00:49Frank loved Pat from the moment that he saw her win Miss Butlin when she was about 17.
00:59But it never quite went right. Nothing melded and joined in the right places. It always went wrong somewhere along
01:07the line.
01:09Over a year I waited for you to come back. A year of stomach-churning worry, of sleepless nights, of
01:17having to face people out there knowing that they were talking about me.
01:24I scrubbed people's floors. I cleaned their toilets. I worked 14 hours a day to keep this place going and
01:31to put food on the table. Not for me.
01:33Oh, no. I could have quite happily done a runner and all.
01:37They couldn't live with each other. They couldn't live without each other.
01:42In fact, I remember John York, head of a series, and Tony Jordan, writer-producer,
01:48saying to me once that they felt that the only real love story in EastEnders was Pat and Frank.
01:57I had no reason to expect that you hadn't found someone else. Of course, you needed a friend, someone to
02:09talk to, someone to take you out now and again.
02:12Like you said, it's been nearly two years. It didn't cross my mind, but there you go, that's me on
02:16it.
02:18It doesn't have to make a difference. I'm back now. And it doesn't matter what he thinks or anybody else
02:25thinks, I know you still love me.
02:28When he came back, Pat had married Roy. And for whatever that was, it was security. I don't think it
02:37was the greatest love in the world.
02:39Which is a pity, because Tony Conter is a lovely man. And so Frank got his feet under the table
02:46with Peggy.
02:52Now, are you sure you've ever forgotten anything?
02:55No, I don't think so.
02:56Have a coffee table, kitchen sink, a picture of the Queen and the Wrens.
03:00Are you taking the mickey?
03:01No, no, no. I'm just checking, that's all.
03:03No, it's Terry and I who are meeting us over here.
03:05Er, he didn't say, do I?
03:06Well, don't you think you'd better phone them? I mean, there's only four of us and we could all share
03:10the same care.
03:11Jawohl, mein Fuhrer.
03:12I heard that.
03:15They went off to the sun. And we know what happens when you're in the sun.
03:21Get a bit hot under the collar.
03:22This was a place of retreat, of sunshine, of happiness.
03:30And the fact that she could prove to herself, actually, she was better than Peggy.
03:37What is he talking about?
03:39I'm talking about life.
03:41The rods that we forge to beat ourselves up with.
03:44I mean, like you and Pat, who knows where you'd be now if you'd just accepted what you had and
03:49hadn't aspired for something else, like Peggy.
03:52I think you've shed enough, Belle.
03:54I've heard enough.
03:55Er, I think we'll go inside, yeah?
03:56So, um, they ended up in bed.
04:01Enough, Mr. Boone.
04:03Oh, no.
04:07I suppose I'd better get up before the others get back.
04:09No, no, no, no.
04:10Come on, five more minutes, please, please.
04:13In order to get us all in this tiny little bedroom, although it had a sort of small double bed,
04:23the cameraman had to be in the lavatory, standing on the lavatory pan with the door open.
04:31And then, um, the sound, the sound man had sort of had to get round him and between his legs
04:40or whatever, see, because it's so tiny.
04:44So, of course, we started off laughing, which was good.
04:48Um, and, well, what can I say?
04:52It went from there.
04:59I remember the day very well when poor, poor Mike Reed had to come into the studio, freezing cold studio,
05:07um, with his bow tie.
05:13He did have his underpants on, but, I mean, he was actually meant not to have.
05:17But, oh, I felt so sorry for him.
05:20It really, it really was cold and miserable.
05:22But, it's lovely because I still get people who saw that, you know, reminding me of it.
05:30It was, it was something which, when people loved, they, they, they found it very amusing.
05:35Where are your clothes?
05:37Outside of the yard.
05:39Does anybody see you?
05:41Just a couple of layers from the market, that's all.
05:44You sure?
05:45Come on, relax.
05:47Only you've seen me.
05:48I've got a naked man in my kitchen, he's telling me to relax.
05:51Not quite like it.
05:54Voila.
05:55Well, I suppose that whizzing bow tie summed up the best of Pat and Frank.
06:03Which really, was perhaps a, a little shallow.
06:09But if it was happy, then that was great.
06:13What are you doing here?
06:14Are you trying to kill me?
06:15It wasn't my choice.
06:16I was forced.
06:17All right, well, listen to this.
06:19Don't know what I wrote to Peggy.
06:20Telling her what we were doing.
06:22It's gone missing.
06:24Where is it?
06:25Phil.
06:26What?
06:26He's got it.
06:27It can only be in.
06:27I'm going over there now.
06:28That's when I summed it.
06:31Mike Reed was a devil to work with.
06:33Well, I mean, he wanted to do, you know, he wanted to do his gig, didn't he?
06:40Which was great.
06:42And if anybody else messed about, it was like, I'm right, not sticking up with this.
06:47I'm going, I'm off, I'm off.
06:50But, no, he was, he was lovely.
06:53He really was.
06:55I just want to know that while he was up there, did you happen to see a note with Peggy's
07:00name on it?
07:00Oh, I do remember an envelope.
07:03That's a yes, then, is it?
07:04But I don't remember picking it up.
07:06Now, this is very important.
07:08I've got to think about this.
07:09What do you think you might have done with it if you did?
07:15Put it in the bin if I wasn't thinking properly?
07:18Oh, I'm really sorry.
07:19Shall I go and have a look for it now?
07:20No, no, no, no, no, no.
07:21You stay where you are, darling.
07:23You're fine.
07:23Don't worry about it at all.
07:24And I promise you, you're not in any trouble, okay?
07:28You're a good girl.
07:29The wonderful thing about a series is that you're developing it all the time.
07:35It's happening like your life is happening.
07:38Your personality is changing in the way that it does in real life.
07:43So all those things that you have to do for static drama, in a funny sort of way, you don't
07:48have to do it because it comes at you.
07:50If something is really, really heavy, we've got a good amount of notice.
07:58I never liked to be told too much in advance what I was doing.
08:04I mean, the thread, yes.
08:07But, you know, you do get actors who, you know, tippy, tippy, tippy up to the office.
08:15Can I just have a word with so-and-so because I'm wondering if I could just, you know.
08:20And actually what they're doing is trying to puff up their part.
08:25And I'd much rather treat it as life.
08:29It takes me by surprise as much as it takes Pat by surprise and vice versa.
08:33Sorry, only I've just remembered.
08:36When Mr Butcher asked me about it earlier, I was in a bit of a tizz and I wasn't thinking
08:40straight.
08:40But I've remembered now.
08:41Yeah?
08:42You know, you can see how it is, darling.
08:44Yeah, the thing is, I didn't want to say anything about it earlier in case it was lost and I'd
08:49get the blame.
08:49Only it's coming back to me now.
08:51I did pick it up when I was wiping the kitchen table.
08:53And I thought I'd put it back down again, but I didn't.
08:56I put it in the pocket of my cleaning apron because I've just been to check.
09:00I can look.
09:01What's that?
09:02It's the note that Mr Butcher was looking for.
09:05But as it's got your name on it, I'm giving it to you.
09:07Oh, oh, it's all right.
09:09Barbara and I were great mates.
09:11Oh, fine, dear.
09:12Peggy, will you really please?
09:13Oh, bless you.
09:14She was a doll, absolute doll.
09:17Barbara and I were very similar in that we didn't want to not get a slap right.
09:27By pulling back, we both said, I'd rather have a hit than it looks naff.
09:36And I said, if you want to, you know, give me one, just do it.
09:43So in the pub, she read the letter.
09:46She turned to Frank.
09:48She gave him a whack.
09:49She turned to me and gave me a whack.
09:52Which was a whack.
09:56And all I could think of was not, whoops.
10:00It was, my earring's just come off.
10:03I don't know where it is and it's going to bugger up the continuity.
10:09So I was sort of, it's a ridiculous thing to be thinking at that point.
10:14You know, what about the continuity?
10:17Fortunately, when I saw it back, I saw it run back because I said something, it was, it was fine.
10:24It was, for some reason, some, it must have been the position I was in, it didn't show that it
10:29had gone.
10:31So that was, you know, that was, thank goodness for that.
10:36But yes, that was Peggy's revenge.
10:40Oh, hope you all enjoyed the fireworks.
10:44Good night.
10:49I think Pat had some sort of strange idea of roses and hearts and, you know, and, silly woman.
10:59I think she probably thought, what are you doing?
11:03You've got security here.
11:04You've got a man who loves you, who's kind.
11:07Perhaps we should think about redecorating in here.
11:09Who's understanding.
11:11I've lost count of the times I've said this to you, Roy.
11:14Who's gentle.
11:16I really don't deserve you.
11:18And so, she assumed.
11:20She assumed that going back to Roy, it would be fine.
11:24Right.
11:25This is year zero, yeah?
11:29No more lies.
11:30No more deceit.
11:33And if we're unhappy about something, we come right out and say it, yes?
11:36There's no bottling it up.
11:39No.
11:42Right.
11:43I'll start.
11:46I don't like your earrings.
11:49I beg your pardon?
11:51None of them.
11:52I never have.
11:53I think they're cheap and vulgar, and I'd prefer it if you didn't wear them.
11:57You've never said anything before.
11:59No, I know I haven't.
12:00But I'm saying it now.
12:05Well, I don't think you should ever be proud of anything you've done.
12:09I mean, you can watch it and enjoy it.
12:11I do sometimes watch something I've done and think,
12:15oh, no, I think I got that wrong.
12:18Wish I'd done that.
12:20Can I go back?
12:23But I think the only judgment I could make about how I felt about a performance after
12:30is whether I think I've given it a fair crack of the whip
12:36and the story comes over, and so does what you're trying to say about, you know, as a character.
12:44I think probably the bonfire night episode, this episode, is one that worked beautifully.
12:53But then I thought that Mike and Barbara gave cracking performances in those.
13:00Yes, I really did.
13:02So I was able to just sit back and watch them and not have to think about me, if you
13:08see what I mean.
13:09I mean, I wasn't in the way, but I just, I was so concentrated on them, which was, yeah, I
13:16think they were fantastic.
13:28Oh, my, I certainly remember filming this episode where I was soaked to the skin for I don't know how
13:37many hours.
13:39I love you!
13:42I love you!
13:47For some extraordinary reason, the person who was running the floor,
13:50I wouldn't let anybody come anywhere near me to just pad the wet that was running down the back of
13:56my...
13:56I mean, I know that I had to be kept wet because that was continuity,
14:01so we were picking up bits here and there, shots from the square, etc.
14:07But I wasn't going to dry myself down completely,
14:10and I just needed to actually be able to see out of running eyes.
14:16I mean, absolutely soaked.
14:18We had an enormous bowser, I don't know how many feet it was,
14:25because, we all know, you can't rely on rain looking like rain.
14:30And it was a very, very unpleasant experience.
14:34No acting required in actors' phraseology.
14:38Yeah, that was, that was not comfortable.
14:42Pleased to say I didn't catch anything afterwards, didn't get pneumonia.
14:54I wonder if I miss Pat.
15:00I, do you know, I think that's something that I haven't really thought of terribly long, long and hard.
15:10And, I think I'm pleased, in a sense, to have unburdened myself of Pat.
15:21Not for a reason of not liking playing it.
15:25I just, perhaps just needed not to be playing it.
15:30And I wasn't living with the character.
15:32I mean, I wasn't, in no way was the character impinging on my life.
15:40But I think I just, I needed a break from it.
15:44And I didn't have a break soon enough, unfortunately.
15:50Somebody said to me when I left,
15:52go on, off you go, go, you know, go and have a few weeks, a few months in the sun.
16:00And that was the last thing I wanted.
16:02Anyway, it was quite demanding.
16:04You know, that's when somebody's trying to get hold of you,
16:08people are, you know, thank you, thank you very much, God,
16:12of offering you things.
16:13And you need to be around.
16:17So I kept putting it off.
16:19And I didn't really have, I didn't mourn her, as I should have done.
16:24But never mind, I can always put iPlayer on and say hello.
16:34Hello.
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