- 2 days ago
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00:00MUSIC
00:25Stop that.
00:28I said to stop that.
00:30I am cooking.
00:40Am I so repulsive to you that I can't even put my hand on your shoulder?
00:45Don't be ridiculous.
00:46I'm trying to talk to you, man.
00:49I'm trying to understand why you're behaving so strange.
00:52I am allowed to be quiet.
00:55I'm allowed to want to be on my own.
00:57No, no, Yolandi, I know you.
00:59You know nothing.
01:00Then tell me.
01:01Tell me, the man.
01:05Are you, um...
01:08Are you bored of me, is that it?
01:15You don't love me anymore.
01:17Of course I love you.
01:19Just, just leave me alone.
01:20Let me cook now.
01:22Baby, you're in pain.
01:26I can see it.
01:27I can feel it.
01:29Of course we are connected.
01:32Yeah, I mean, Angela, what an episode.
01:36You remember how you got the...
01:37How you first heard about it?
01:39And I remember.
01:40You tell me how you remember.
01:41I think you must have told me.
01:43I think you must have told me.
01:45Maybe I should have.
01:46I can never remember.
01:48I can never remember anything.
01:50I think you told me when we were nattering.
01:52She...
01:52I can't remember.
01:53It was either you or our boss, but...
01:56No, I come to think of it, I did, because he had called me into the office.
02:02And you know those usual things when you call into the office, you know, you think,
02:05Oh God, I'm going to get the sack or something like that.
02:09And then what Chris said to me, he said, Look, I'm going to put something to you.
02:14You can say no.
02:16And I would understand.
02:19And he said...
02:20A two-hander.
02:22Pardon.
02:24Angela.
02:25I said, Are you serious?
02:26And he said, Yeah.
02:28And he immediately said, Look, if you don't want to do it, you know, fine.
02:32I would understand.
02:34Well, come on.
02:35As an actor, you know, you get the chance to do a two-hander.
02:39And especially doing it with you.
02:42You know, there's no...
02:43There's...
02:43I couldn't say no.
02:46And...
02:47Yep.
02:48So that's how it kicked off.
02:50And I remember, I don't think at that time he had mentioned anything to you,
02:55because, you know, this is one of the times when, you know, Rudolph, you're a senior,
03:00you've been here for some time and you don't want to...
03:02Yep.
03:02Yep.
03:02As most things, because I'm like, I'm just a little bit too laid back.
03:06So I always...
03:07You laid back.
03:08I'm all laid back in hearing about what's coming up next or what's going to happen.
03:13Can you remember your reaction?
03:14I think I was numb, because I think...
03:17Hmm.
03:18I think I'd already started the whole thing that led up to the two-hander.
03:23Hmm.
03:24The Pastor Clayton thing.
03:30Pastor?
03:33Am I dawdling?
03:35Hmm.
03:36Oh, we've got plenty of time.
03:48Pastor?
03:49So I was still embroiled in all of that and, like, exhausted and all these lines to learn
03:58and then it was like, oh, and then that's going to come to some kind of head
04:02and then it's going to be like, whew, and then I heard we were going to do this
04:06and I was like, okay, how am I going to do that then?
04:11Am I going to learn all these lines?
04:13Yeah.
04:14That's how I felt.
04:15When it was mentioned, I thought, well, first of all, quite an honour,
04:19because there weren't many times in the past and certainly in the history of EastEnders
04:24that they had two actors having a two-hand and I think go all the way back to
04:29maybe Ethel or, you know, other characters.
04:32And it meant, you know, it was phenomenal.
04:35I mean, we were talking about, you know, two key actors in EastEnders
04:41on screen for half an hour.
04:45Challenging, wouldn't you say?
04:47Extremely challenging.
04:48On various levels.
04:50On various levels and that's why I am so unconventional.
04:55I don't think about it and I didn't think about it too much.
04:59Otherwise, I would be, like, really, really scared.
05:02When I get too scared, I just get blank.
05:05And I knew that I had to stay alive and engaged, keep my mind out of fear.
05:12To go into it, especially after coming out of the other bit,
05:16where your body almost, my body almost felt like as if,
05:20oh, it's time to just kind of just have a little breather.
05:22But to know that I had to keep that tension and that intensity
05:27to go into our two-hander to sort of open it all out.
05:32I had to keep myself very slow breathing and calm.
05:39So as I didn't enter it, angst, as angst as a story that I'd just done,
05:44so we could tell our story of our relationship and the effect it's had on us.
05:50Yes, please. Let me in, the man. I'm begging you.
06:07I'm sorry. Oh, God.
06:13I, too, had to go through that process of, yes, we had to focus,
06:17as I said, on various levels, on our level as black actors in this country.
06:25You know, one can't shy away from that responsibility.
06:31The fact that the topic itself was so heavy
06:36and that it's something that needed to be exposed, you know,
06:41that also is quite a responsibility.
06:44So all those things, you know, played on my mind before we even started rehearsals.
06:51We are so different because you take on, you take on as the nobleman that you are,
06:58the responsibility of carrying the weight of, you know, the gift that we were given.
07:05I am so completely different because I am so filled with fear.
07:12I have, I'm like that swan.
07:14Like, I'm like this on the top and underneath I'm going, like this.
07:17So I know, I know the responsibility.
07:20I carry the responsibility in my being as a black actress to know that, yes, I have to represent,
07:26I have to spread the love, you know, because it's, at the end of the day, it's the one love.
07:37But I don't think about the responsibility and I know who's going to watch.
07:44And then I'll have a little laugh because I said, oh, Yolandi might lose some of her lovely Christian lady
07:50friends
07:50when she goes into this storyline because, you know, it's all a hidden thing.
07:57People are protected who shouldn't be protected in churches.
08:01But I didn't take on that, I have a responsibility to tell the story.
08:07I just took on the journey.
08:10I can't think about the world.
08:12Otherwise that'll hamper me that you've, you're like, you're really brave.
08:16Maybe, I know it's wise, maybe it's your wisdom that makes you to be able to do that.
08:21But I can't do it.
08:22I just have to, I have to, there's a phrase like, be naked and run.
08:29Not literally.
08:30Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, you know.
08:32Not literally.
08:32Not literally, okay, fine.
08:36Just give myself to it.
08:37Don't think about anything.
08:39Whatever the repercussions, whatever, just live it.
08:44Eat it.
08:45Breathe it.
08:46Do it.
08:47And then go.
08:49And then whatever anyone else is saying, you know, people are praising you or whatever.
08:52It's like, I've just lived that.
08:55And it's okay.
09:04Yeah, sit in down, go on.
09:05What is it?
09:29I can't remember if you had a voice fed into your ear.
09:36At the time of the conversation when I handed the phone to you for you to speak to Elaine.
09:41But whether or not you did, I can't remember.
09:44But how did you digest it as Patrick?
09:48Like, it's for real, I'm actually talking to someone on the phone and they've just stabbed me in my stomach.
09:55Yeah.
09:56I mean, it was for real.
09:58First of all, it was recorded.
10:00So it gave me an indication, an idea of the way she said it and the tone of her voice
10:07and everything.
10:07So when I was listening to it, although it wasn't for real on the phone, but as an actor, you
10:13know, you know the dialogue.
10:15You know what is coming.
10:19And I reacted accordingly.
10:22I mean, it was real.
10:22What, you know, it's not for the audience.
10:25As far as the audience is concerned, yes, it was for real.
10:29And it stabbed me in the right places at the right time.
10:33And had, hopefully, the desired effect.
10:39Yolandi?
10:44You in there?
10:50Yolandi?
10:51Yes, I'm here.
11:03You know, the audience can tell whether you're faking it or not.
11:07You know, it's no two ways about it.
11:09You know, they can look into your eyes.
11:11And the great thing about this television, you know, sometimes they get so close into you.
11:17So I hope that's what they saw, the reality.
11:21The whole situation was so, so real.
11:29What happened?
11:31Yolandi told you.
11:32I just want to understand.
11:33Did he, did he threaten you?
11:35Did he hurt you?
11:36Did he use violence?
11:37What did he say?
11:39I mean, did he make you promise not to tell me?
11:43Is that why he didn't tell me anything that night?
11:49Just this afternoon, I sat with him in the vic, you know, confiding my worries about you.
11:57And he put a hand on my shoulder like he was my friend.
12:01Said he was worried about you too.
12:07False smile.
12:11False sympathy.
12:14Knowing damn well that he was the one.
12:18Touched you, forced himself upon you.
12:20Please stop, please.
12:21Pretending to be a man of God and using his role to do that to my woman.
12:29For me, that, that moment of not being able to tell you the character.
12:36She just felt ashamed and small.
12:39She didn't want to be seen with new eyes.
12:43Because she just felt like once you'd heard it from Elaine, when you looked at her, you were going to
12:50be seeing hell or something.
12:52So then, so that's why she had to flee.
12:57And you feel as if you've betrayed someone.
13:00You're not the person they think you are.
13:01That's what she was feeling in the bathroom.
13:05Like, she's going to be rejected.
13:07But she doesn't want to be rejected.
13:09She loves her husband so much.
13:10She doesn't want to be rejected.
13:12And she wished she could just, just rub it all out.
13:17But because of her character, there's this pride in her.
13:21There's this, there's a bit of a negative pride in her.
13:25She doesn't want to be seen broken down at that point.
13:30She didn't want the wretchedness of how she was feeling at the time.
13:34She didn't want him to see it.
13:35Hatchie!
13:38Hatchie!
13:41Hatchie!
13:43Hatchie!
13:43Hatchie!
13:43Hatchie!
13:44Hatchie!
13:44Hatchie!
13:45Hatchie!
13:46Hatchie!
13:47Hatchie!
13:48Hatchie!
13:48Hatchie!
13:48Hatchie!
13:49Hatchie!
13:50Hatchie!
13:50Hatchie!
13:51Hatchie!
13:52Hatchie!
13:53Hatchie!
13:54Hatchie!
13:55Hatchie!
13:56Hatchie!
13:57Hatchie!
13:58Hatchie!
13:59Hatchie!
14:01Hatchie!
14:04Hatchie!
14:08Hatchie!
14:10You have no right to take it into your hands like this.
14:13You're learning that.
14:15Come on.
14:17I'll talk to you.
14:24It's a little bit off-putting, slightly, because it always is,
14:28because we film out of sync.
14:30Yeah.
14:30And remember, we actually had to film the outside bit before.
14:35Of course, yeah.
14:36That is so impossible, because you don't know where you're going to go,
14:40where it's going to go, how you're going to feel.
14:43So I always feel like when I ran out, I mean, I ran out and I was crying,
14:47I said, oh, Patrick, blah, blah, blah.
14:49But at that point, in that scene there, I felt I was acting
14:55because I had to act out an emotion that I hadn't lived yet.
15:02Mm, mm, mm, mm.
15:03So that was difficult, and I hoped that it would, when we watched it on the TV,
15:11it would work.
15:12But because of my kind of fear that I was going to even judge that bit,
15:18when that came on, I got to go back and watch it critically.
15:22I sort of, oh, because I knew I was going to see where I see,
15:27where I know critically, I'm going to say, no, that's not,
15:30that's not how I was feeling.
15:33Mm.
15:33That's, that's, it doesn't mean.
15:35Yes, but.
15:36So I didn't, I haven't, because I know I'm going to pick it apart.
15:40Yeah.
15:41Knowing what you knew, you could have protected yourself and stay away from him, man.
15:49He should have stayed the hell away from me!
15:55How dare you, Fancy!
15:58How dare you blame me!
16:03That was scary.
16:05That explosion was...
16:06It was a, it was a scary...
16:08It was a moment where you had to be out of control, but try to be in control.
16:14Mm.
16:15That was, that was a scary moment for me and trying not to preempt it.
16:20Mm.
16:21Mm.
16:21To make it be a natural explosion.
16:24Mm.
16:24I did find that a bit difficult knowing that you were just,
16:28just a couple of feet away from me.
16:31That was very difficult being in the moment and then trying to technically do it
16:36and not look as if I'm technically trying to do it.
16:39That was, that was hard for me as an actor.
16:41Mm.
16:42That moment.
16:43That was like me doing a bit of a stunt, suddenly, right in front of the camera,
16:49when I'm supposed to be in the moment.
16:51I think I need to go and take some classes in that.
16:54Mm.
16:56I don't know about you, but one of the things that I, I must admit that I find it very,
17:01very difficult to watch myself on television.
17:05And this in particular was very difficult because you start, unfortunately,
17:11you start looking for all the little things, you saw the little thing.
17:14Man, I could have done it.
17:16That's right.
17:16I could have, you know, I could have invested in that, that feedback.
17:21And so it becomes an agonizing view for me.
17:25And it would take several weeks and several, you know, to really relax and enjoy it as a general public.
17:33Yeah.
17:34And especially something like that.
17:36That's so much.
17:37I'm like that in general.
17:39Mm.
17:39But with that, I actually, I actually did watch and I have seen that episode.
17:46Mm.
17:46A lot of it I still haven't seen.
17:48Mm.
17:49Because I've got to get to see it because you go in and you start cooking and the show's finished.
17:54Mm.
17:54The night it came on, I was actually at home with my 14 year old granddaughter.
18:00Mm.
18:00And we sat on the bed.
18:02Mm.
18:02Together and watched it.
18:04Mm.
18:05And I was thinking, I was so tired.
18:07Mm.
18:08That I just, that was the first time I think I've ever watched something that I had so much engagement
18:13with.
18:14And I could just turn off the critic.
18:18Mm.
18:19And I just, I was just there with my granddaughter watching it.
18:23And I actually could just follow it.
18:26There are places like where there had to be cuts for time.
18:30And I went, oh, where's that?
18:32You know, where's that?
18:33But other than that, I was just so sort of tired and watching.
18:38I actually watched Angela Winter as if it wasn't me for the most of the time.
18:44Mm.
18:45And at the end of it, I had tears.
18:48Mm.
18:48Mm.
18:48Because I was just going along with it.
18:51And that's only because I was like really tired.
18:53Mm.
18:53I was very tired.
18:54And also the joining with my granddaughters.
18:59Like I'm a grandmom and then there's my daughter and then there's my granddaughter.
19:02And for me, it was more, oh.
19:05Mm.
19:08Of a thing sharing with my granddaughter.
19:11Mm.
19:11Like, you know, I have certain aspirations for her.
19:13And I know that I've made it to this point.
19:17Mm.
19:17And here she is watching it with me.
19:20So it was even more than watching the show.
19:23It was a thing of the generations of, you know, black women.
19:27I'm this older black women.
19:29Mm.
19:29And she's my baby.
19:30Mm.
19:30And she's watching this.
19:31And I'm hoping that there will be this massive transference that she can just take and see that.
19:36Wow.
19:37That's my grandmom.
19:38Mm.
19:38And this is us.
19:39Mm.
19:40Mm.
19:40Mm.
19:41Mm.
19:41Yeah.
19:41Sorry for tears.
19:43Yeah.
19:44That's how I watched it on the day.
19:50No, I'm afraid I watched it on my own deliberately.
19:53Which was in it kind of.
19:57What was great is that immediately it was transmitted.
20:02The phone calls came, you know, starting with my sister, who was just moved to tears.
20:08Yes.
20:08Yeah.
20:09And another, you know, other members of the family and friends and whatnot, which was good.
20:17As I said, you know, overall, the feedback has been, has been really tremendous.
20:25Tremendous.
20:26That's like one of the biggest things that have ever happened to me in my acting career.
20:32I mean, good things have happened, but that's when I think about the responsibility and the,
20:37the enormity of the show.
20:40Mm-hm.
20:40It's East Enders.
20:41It's East Enders.
20:43Even yesterday in the square, someone said something about Dot.
20:48And I thought, oh my goodness.
20:51Mm-hm.
20:51I used to sit and watch this.
20:53Mm-hm.
20:54I was standing in the square and I was saying, I used to sit and watch this.
20:56Mm-hm.
20:57On the telly and I used to watch Dot.
20:59Amazing.
21:00Yesterday I started thinking about being at school.
21:04Mm-hm.
21:05You know, being a school girl with these aspirations.
21:08Mm-hm.
21:09Which were impossible and that I was now here.
21:14I don't know why I was thinking about that yesterday when I was in the square.
21:17Mm-hm.
21:18It was almost as if I could see the little me, then the teenager me, then the young woman
21:23me and the different points of my life and, you know, going through my career.
21:28And now I was, like, on the square.
21:31And I, there were these icons that I used to watch ages ago and, like, I was standing here
21:36where they stood.
21:37Mm-hm.
21:38I had that experience.
21:39Yes, it was almost like an out-of-body experience.
21:41Well, but, you know, working with them, of course, you know, I'm June Brown and,
21:45and John Baden, um, which we had.
21:50Pauline.
21:50You know, and Pauline and working with them was just quite something.
21:54Okay.
21:54For me personally, haven't, um, haven't done that journey from, what, 23 years, 24 years
22:02that I have been in it and, uh, rubbing shoulders with teachers, you know, because having learned
22:12a lot from playing with June and playing with, you know, John Baden was just phenomenal.
22:19So I would say that our, our journey and our, our two-hander rallies and, you know, we big up
22:27those people.
22:28Yeah, we stepped into big shoes.
22:29We stepped into big shoes.
22:31And I'm sure for you, for, for both of us having entered and, or come into the series where, you
22:39know,
22:39we both had the, the sort of variety of things that we've been doing over the years, you know,
22:45the challenges, be the theatre, be the, and to walk into something like this, not even thinking,
22:51oh, we're going to be in for a couple of months or going to be in for three months and
22:54then out again.
22:55And here we are so many years on and being part of that, uh, that family.
23:01I really look forward to going to work.
23:03Oh, yeah.
23:04I really look going forward to work, too.
23:06Yeah.
23:06Brings a smile on my face.
23:07You know, my, all the problems and all the worries that I have as soon as I arrive on set.
23:13A laughter, fun, hard work.
23:15Yeah, hard work, but it's, it's almost like going home from leaving your home to go home.
23:21Yeah.
23:21Yeah.
23:22Yes, we've done the two-handers, you know, well, let's see now, um, what are the challenges they're going to
23:28throw.
23:29Throw at us.
23:30Throw at us.
23:31At least with the, the strength and the understanding that, you know, we've done it once, we can do it
23:36again.
23:38Forty years and still have that pull and that impact.
23:44Impact.
23:44It is quite something, you know, it's great to get awards and great, but the fact remains that people talk
23:50about East End,
23:52it's, it's, it's topical and, and, and, and, and it's a lot to be said.
23:57Even the people who don't watch it, they like to talk about it and state it.
24:00Oh, yeah.
24:00Oh, yeah.
24:01Because they're watching it.
24:02Yeah.
24:02They're secretly watching.
24:04Yeah, yeah.
24:04Many people watch it anyway.
24:05And I thought to myself, yeah.
24:06Yeah.
24:07You watch it.
24:08Oh, I, I, I don't, I don't watch it.
24:10No, no, no.
24:11I don't watch that.
24:12My wife watches it.
24:13Yes.
24:13I don't watch it.
24:13She fills him in.
24:14But, you know, why did you have to do that?
24:18And you, you don't watch it.
24:20Oh, it was you, it was you, it was you, it was you, it was you in it.
24:23Yeah.
24:24Yeah.
24:25Yeah.
24:26I think that's what captivates people because it's like, they're watching ordinary lives.
24:30Apart from the fact that, you know, like, someone dies every year or someone, someone goes loopy every year.
24:37And it's like, it couldn't happen in that small space all the time.
24:41But that's, that's, that's the boob-oom of the soap.
24:48What if we could never be intimate again?
24:56I must still love you.
25:01It's a sister.
25:04Or an aunt.
25:07No, that's my darling.
25:09Yolandi.
25:10You wouldn't go off with some other woman?
25:14Man, I tell you.
25:15If Halle Berry herself swooped down here in a bikini, I would say, Halle, I know you'll find me irresistable.
25:25But I tell you, I have everything I want in a woman right now.
25:30Right here.
25:32Irresistible, my foot.
25:41You mean it?
25:44Of course I do.
25:46I do.
25:50The part that I found difficult, right at the end, when we came back together, and we had to, from
26:01being like, you know, like, when she's saying to him, oh, are we only going to be friends, you know,
26:06like, if you're going to see me as a sister, I think she said.
26:10And then we had to go from, like, still very uncertain of each other, and go do that flip where
26:23they started to smile, you know, and we're at ease with each other.
26:29Mm-hmm.
26:30You know, so they could go and, I find that, when I was reading it, I was thinking, no, no,
26:35no, no, no, how, how, how can you do, how can you, it's too, it's too sudden, I can't, I
26:42can't do it.
26:43Mm-hmm.
26:45But in the end, because that's what was written, and we've already done loads already, I, I had to, I
26:53don't know, I had to kind of mould myself into, into it, I had to, I think I just, I
27:01had to just give myself.
27:02Mm-hmm.
27:02I just had to relax and give myself, I had to believe it.
27:06Mm-hmm.
27:07And just go, go with it and into it, and I was so surprised at how fluid it was, because
27:14I, I really couldn't see how I could go from all that to, we having a couple of words, couple
27:22of lines.
27:23Mm-hmm.
27:23And we just, sort of just slid back into each other's arms after that big journey.
27:29Yeah, yeah.
27:29Mm-hmm.
27:29If I had my way, girl, you think there's a more and more each day.
27:37I approached you, remember?
27:41I asked you for a dance.
27:44Yeah, man.
27:45The best day of my life.
27:51A lot of people was willing us to move to that, to that level, and as it revealed later on,
27:59we still have a lot of challenges.
28:01Mm-hmm.
28:01It's not, um, not done and dusted.
28:05I was relieved to see it, but honestly, it was a challenge.
28:10It was a challenge after...
28:13Yeah.
28:15...everything that had happened in the house.
28:17Even though I can't believe how that happened, I've got to watch it again to see if I really did
28:24it.
28:24Mm-hmm.
28:24Because when I watched it, I thought, oh, gosh, it worked.
28:28Mm-hmm.
28:28But just talking about it again now, I, like...
28:31Mm-hmm.
28:31You start questioning him.
28:32Yeah, because how?
28:34Mm-hmm.
28:34I'm going to go and watch that again.
28:36All right, yeah.
28:36You're going to watch the whole thing.
28:37Maybe we should sit and watch it together.
28:39Ha ha ha.
28:39Ha ha ha.
28:40Ha ha ha.
28:42Ha ha ha.
28:42Ha ha ha.
28:43Ha ha ha.
28:44Thank you very much.
28:44Uh, thanks.
28:46Um...
28:48Thank you!