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Slightly Single in L.A. (2012) full comedy movie online. #SlightlySingleInLA
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:28Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:58Transcription by CastingWords
00:01:00As well as Liz
00:01:03You're home early
00:01:05Evan was my rebound guy
00:01:07But of course I fell in love again
00:01:09Because he seemed so perfect
00:01:12But he was perfect for Steven
00:01:13And Smiley Pete as well
00:01:15No, no, no, no, no, no
00:01:16And Phil was my rebound from the rebound
00:01:26That's when I decided to move to Los Angeles
00:01:30What better city to replace perfect boyfriend's long-term commitment and heartache
00:01:34With short-term happiness and superficiality
00:01:37At least it seemed like a good idea at the time
00:01:39Hmm, well, fast forward a few years
00:01:41It's a place where you can be just who you want to be
00:01:44You'll never see a beauty queen in a magazine
00:01:48Take a dip, take a sip of luxury
00:01:51Feel the spark of electricity
00:01:54It's a world where dreams are made
00:01:57In the heart of air
00:02:01Where the sun shines high
00:02:03The night's over the top
00:02:05In Hollywood
00:02:05In Hollywood
00:02:08Any time we want fun
00:02:10It's a time that's ready to play
00:02:16I forgot to introduce myself
00:02:22I'm Dale
00:02:24That's me a few years later
00:02:25Sucking face with my kind of sort of boyfriend, JP
00:02:28He's a fashion photographer
00:02:30Remember that cover of Charlize in the green evening gown?
00:02:33JP took that
00:02:35God, I'm already name dropping
00:02:37That's so lame
00:02:39Baby, give me your foot
00:02:40Uh, my foot?
00:02:42You ever have your tall sock before?
00:02:46No, JP, uh, uh
00:02:48Okay
00:02:49Mmm, mangiara
00:02:52Mmm, delicioso
00:02:57Mmm, no good experience
00:03:08Bye, baby
00:03:12Ah, Lord, I love this song, huh?
00:03:16It reminds me of being in Rome
00:03:19I wonder if toe-sucking is big and wrong
00:03:22Baby, you want a beer?
00:03:23The six-pack, no?
00:03:25Huh?
00:03:27Baby, we have a good energy
00:03:28A good energy, me and you, no?
00:03:30Yes
00:03:32Come here
00:03:33Come dance with Poppy
00:03:38Me and JP have been together on and off
00:03:40For about six months
00:03:41It's going pretty good
00:03:43But sometimes
00:03:44I get the feeling
00:03:45I'm not the only girl JP's seeing
00:03:47Oh, JP
00:03:49Ah, no, no, no
00:03:51Are you there?
00:03:51Stay here
00:03:52Melissa
00:03:53JP
00:03:54The computer's broken
00:03:56It's a crazy joke
00:03:58Come out, come out
00:04:00Wherever you are
00:04:00No, I only have eyes for you
00:04:03Hey, JP
00:04:04Let's do that thing with the toes again
00:04:07Call me if you want a rendezvous
00:04:09Babe
00:04:09Bye
00:04:10Okay, baby, it's no big deal
00:04:11It's my massage therapist, okay?
00:04:15That's a reasonable explanation
00:04:18Right?
00:04:22JP
00:04:24JP
00:04:32Since I moved to LA, I haven't really had a substantial boyfriend
00:04:36I seem to gravitate towards casual relationships of convenience
00:04:41Sometimes, though, I do wish for something more meaningful
00:04:50In Los Angeles, most people feel like they've never actually arrived
00:04:54There's always this chase for something bigger and better
00:04:59Consequently, no one puts down roots
00:05:01No one settles down
00:05:03It's like living in this state of perpetual vagrancy
00:05:11I want some roots
00:05:14At least I think I do
00:05:19Oh, my God, did you...
00:05:21Did you hear?
00:05:23Maybe
00:05:232012
00:05:24There's this huge planet that is going to crash into Earth
00:05:28And kill everyone
00:05:30Oh
00:05:31You mean like the movie?
00:05:33No, I don't mean like the movie
00:05:36This is real, Dale
00:05:38The movie is based on the facts
00:05:42The planet
00:05:43Is called
00:05:45N-D-I
00:05:47I don't know how he got his name and why it isn't six or eight
00:05:50But seven is my colleague, roommate, and closest confidant
00:05:56And I don't think I'm outing him by saying seven won't be taking any girls on
00:06:00It's all over the internet
00:06:01I'm obsessed with it
00:06:02I can't stop reading
00:06:11It's kind of scary, don't you think?
00:06:12I mean, the end of the world, Dale
00:06:16I don't know if I can sleep tonight
00:06:20Bowie, you want to snuggle with me?
00:06:21Huh?
00:06:23I'm taking your dog
00:06:40Okay
00:06:41And you just left?
00:06:41Yep
00:06:42So it's over
00:06:44I don't know
00:06:46She says that every time and then she goes back to him
00:06:48Well, maybe I'm just being paranoid
00:06:49It was time for the bi-monthly breakup post-mortem
00:06:53Who said what?
00:06:54Did I handle it well?
00:06:55Et cetera
00:06:55Can I ask you something, JP?
00:06:57Hi, baby
00:06:58Come back to bed
00:06:59How many girls are you sleeping with?
00:07:01Baby, why are you so drama?
00:07:03So what?
00:07:03So drama
00:07:04I mean, why would he hang out with me for six months?
00:07:08And text and call every day?
00:07:10Last night, I was trying to make this really good point
00:07:13We just had sex, JP
00:07:15It's good
00:07:17I just had your penis inside of me
00:07:20But that all sounded a lot better in my head
00:07:24Oh
00:07:25Last week bird crap, this week balls in her face
00:07:29That's typical
00:07:30Is it true he has a monstrous schlong?
00:07:32I don't know where she gets her information
00:07:35But that's absolutely true
00:07:37Okay, I don't understand the deal about big dicks
00:07:40I mean, they just hurt
00:07:42I mean, not that I've ever really experienced one
00:07:46Becca and Hallie are my two best girlfriends
00:07:49They're always game to listen to my problems
00:07:51And dispense useful commentary
00:07:52Toast suckers freak me out
00:07:54I heard that he photographed Charlize
00:07:56Is that true?
00:07:57I mean, I love her
00:07:57She's like one of my favorite top five for sure
00:07:59Maybe I'm just being jealous
00:08:01Okay, how do you spell his last name?
00:08:03Becca, tell me you're not looking him up on the internet
00:08:06I personally think your dog is the biggest issue in your dating life
00:08:09What?
00:08:10Question
00:08:11Where does Bowie sleep?
00:08:13He sleeps in my bed
00:08:14Okay, but if a guy sleeps over
00:08:16Where does Bowie go?
00:08:18Um, I guess he just stays in my bed
00:08:22Wait, what about fleas?
00:08:24More importantly, what about sniffing?
00:08:25Don't dogs sniff?
00:08:36Okay, okay, you have a point
00:08:38Dating in general is difficult enough, Dale
00:08:42Uh-oh
00:08:44What?
00:08:45Oh, no
00:08:46Becca, what?
00:08:49Okay, you know that German supermodel?
00:08:51Natasha Franks?
00:08:52Yeah, JP shoots her all the time
00:08:53What about her?
00:08:54Okay, I just read this
00:08:55It was on CMZ
00:08:57Okay, so Natasha Franks, German supermodel
00:08:59Recently has confirmed reports that she is three months pregnant
00:09:03Sources confirm that celebrity fashion photographer
00:09:06JP Gia
00:09:07Whatever his name is
00:09:08Is the father
00:09:09JP is well known as a Los Angeles savant
00:09:12And has been linked to several Hollywood socialites
00:09:14Stay tuned as the story develops
00:09:17I'm done
00:09:17I'm sorry
00:09:18I'm done dating men in this city
00:09:21I'm so tired of being a nice girl that always gets burnt
00:09:24Wait, wait, wait, wait
00:09:25I mean, this guy's a jerk
00:09:26No, I...
00:09:29Hey, Dale
00:09:31Hey
00:09:31Hi
00:09:32Zach
00:09:33You look...
00:09:34You look fantastic
00:09:35Oh, thanks
00:09:36I cut my bangs
00:09:38Yeah, it suits you very much
00:09:40I knew Zach before he was a rock star
00:09:43He was the lead singer of this cool garage band
00:09:47Now he's got four Grammys and he's a shoe-in for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
00:09:50But to me, he'll always be good ol' Zach
00:09:55Wow, long time to see
00:09:57Uh, this is my friend Hallie
00:09:58Hi
00:09:59And Becca
00:09:59I think you've met Becca before
00:10:00Yes, uh, I've met Becca before
00:10:02It's good to see you
00:10:03Hi, nice to meet you
00:10:04You too
00:10:05Wow
00:10:06How are you?
00:10:07I'm sorry, I was actually just about to take off
00:10:09Oh, well, that's too bad
00:10:10But listen, my tour got pushed back a month or so
00:10:12So I'm gonna be around
00:10:14Oh, and hey, listen
00:10:15Tomorrow night my band and I are doing a little set at a hotel cafe
00:10:17If you guys want to come by, that'll be great
00:10:20Yeah, sure
00:10:20I love your music
00:10:21Thank you
00:10:22Okay, maybe, maybe we will
00:10:23All right, well, just, um, email me the address and...
00:10:26Yeah
00:10:28Oh, uh, I think the Paps have found you
00:10:31And, um, well, your girlfriend's kind of looking a little lonely
00:10:34Pictures
00:10:34Oh, well, that's actually not my girlfriend
00:10:36That's just a girl who's my friend
00:10:38Oh, right, mm-hmm
00:10:40Hey, uh, Cece, this is my friend Dale
00:10:42Hi
00:10:43Hey, nice to meet you
00:10:44I'm just gonna get my stuff
00:10:46Okay
00:10:46Um, yeah, well...
00:10:47Don't forget to email me
00:10:48Well, don't forget to come
00:10:54Wait, so you guys all went to Catholic boarding school together?
00:10:59Yeah
00:10:59Okay, I can't, I can't imagine that
00:11:01We've known each other since we were 15
00:11:04I know, and I'm actually the oldest
00:11:07It's pretty safe to say that Jill's obsession with aging and getting married in due time
00:11:11Started back in Catholic school
00:11:13And specifically, our first communion place
00:11:16We got to walk down the aisle like many brides could be
00:11:19Comparing prettiest dresses and fanciest bows
00:11:22This is where Jill got programmed to plan for the next time she would walk down the aisle
00:11:27Dressed in white
00:11:28Oh, that's nice
00:11:29Oh, that's nice
00:11:30Oh, that's nice
00:11:31Oh, that's nice
00:11:31Oh, that's nice
00:11:42Oh, that's nice
00:11:46You are getting married
00:11:58Did you get married to JP?
00:11:58No
00:11:59I mean, he called twice, but...
00:12:02Hey, I heard you saw Zach
00:12:04Oh, yeah
00:12:05I saw his video on TV the other day
00:12:07He looked so good
00:12:08Did you guys make plans to hang out?
00:12:10No, we just caught up for a second
00:12:12He was with a girlfriend
00:12:13Hmm
00:12:15I didn't have it already
00:12:17Okay, what is up?
00:12:18What?
00:12:19You look like you either have to pee or you're about to explode with gossip
00:12:23See what?
00:12:23Which is it
00:12:24Okay, I already told Becca, but since you asked
00:12:28Girls
00:12:29You can just tell me later
00:12:30Stacy, I'm so sorry to spoil your special little moment
00:12:33But I have a huge announcement to make
00:12:37I'm getting married
00:12:41Isn't it gorgeous?
00:12:43Do you love it?
00:12:44Yay
00:12:45It was the most amazing night, you guys
00:12:47It's not that I don't want...
00:12:48I don't want to just be your girlfriend anymore
00:12:50It's not that I...
00:12:51Don't...
00:12:52It's not fair, I can't take this limbo
00:12:54I know
00:12:55Marry me, are you leaving?
00:12:56It was the most romantic night of my life
00:12:59Oh
00:13:00What can I say?
00:13:01He's the best
00:13:08You've got to be kidding me
00:13:09Drew?
00:13:11I'm sorry, but he was hitting on me less than two months ago
00:13:14Okay, he wasn't hitting on you, Hallie
00:13:17He was flirting with you
00:13:18Guys are allowed to flirt
00:13:20It's a human condition, it's natural
00:13:21Plus you think everyone is flirting with you?
00:13:23I don't know, I just think it's weird
00:13:25If a guy is ultra flirtatious and in a committed relationship
00:13:28And not to mention that he's in the business
00:13:31Men in the entertainment industry are instinctively douchebags
00:13:34No?
00:13:35No, I like Drew
00:13:36I don't think he's a douchebag
00:13:37No
00:13:37Who came up with the term douchebag anyway?
00:13:40It's kinda disgusting
00:13:40But Jill wants to get married just to get married
00:13:43Because she thinks it's time
00:13:44Hallie, you couldn't even possibly relate to Joe
00:13:47And why is that?
00:13:48Because you're rich?
00:13:50I mean, seriously
00:13:52Everything's handed to you and you can buy whatever you want
00:13:54So just buy a boyfriend
00:13:57What?
00:13:58Are you acting right now?
00:14:00Because this is hilarious
00:14:02I just want a rich boyfriend to take care of me
00:14:04Did she really just say that?
00:14:05Did Jill tell you guys that she didn't get picked up from other seasons of Babes and Barflies?
00:14:09Her agent told her it's because she's too old and too fat
00:14:13That's not funny
00:14:14Seriously
00:14:15I was on a call back like two days ago
00:14:18And the producer told my agent that my butt looked big in a bikini
00:14:22There are specific trigger words that cause me to temporarily tune out of the conversation
00:14:26And Becca just triggered three of them
00:14:29Producer, call back, agent
00:14:30It makes me space out for like 30 seconds
00:14:34And it's okay
00:14:35As long as I return back in time to assure Becca her butt is perfect
00:14:40That is crazy, Becca, you're perfect
00:14:41Don't listen to that
00:14:42Exactly
00:14:44Douchebags
00:14:45As bad as they sound
00:14:46It's not like my friends or the people of Los Angeles
00:14:49Are any more narcissistic or self-serving than the rest of the world
00:14:52It's just that no one cares to hide it
00:14:54At all
00:14:55Do you know how many married men hit on me in a week?
00:14:58No, tell us
00:14:59Well, I don't really know the exact number but it's freaking high
00:15:02At least this is what I tell myself
00:15:03Come on guys, let's go
00:15:05All I know for certain is that dating in this city sucks and I'm done
00:15:09Thank you
00:15:10I'm serious, I'm done
00:15:12You guys don't hate me but I might pass on going out tonight
00:15:15What? No
00:15:16What?
00:15:17No, you are going
00:15:17You just got out of a crappy relationship and you are single
00:15:21Plus you're our designated driver
00:15:23Thanks a lot for the guilt
00:15:30Going out in LA isn't quite like it is in any other city because of the whole who's who factor
00:15:34that this place revolves around
00:15:36So unless you're an A-list, B-list or C-list celebrity, work in the A-list arena or you're
00:15:42a friend at the club promoter slash door Nazi then yeah it's pretty much impossible to get in
00:15:46Bottom line there are three major questions in Hollywood
00:15:49Who are you?
00:15:50What do you do?
00:15:51Who are you?
00:15:52Who are you?
00:16:17door certainly we're full seven really you went in my club i texted you three times last week
00:16:25three times is your phone broken or your thumbs okay look we're on the list here you see that
00:16:31let him in you totes owe me seven nice natural looking good uh uh brent michaels is waiting
00:16:39down over there and you darlin sunset strip is that way
00:16:58jamie bro you don't want his floppy seconds are you kidding me they call him her for a reason
00:17:02they check out the old dude in the cooger oh my god i'm sorry there's been some kind of
00:17:06misunderstanding there you go huh how many times do i have to tell you i only date girls 25 and
00:17:12younger
00:17:16oh my god is that davis spade over there
00:17:20god this time is so disgusting oh my god so i should check that guy out
00:17:25that's the producer that i met the other night he's so hot and well-connected
00:17:30oh my god you're my wingman uh-oh don't look over there
00:17:42oh you've got to be kidding me i i'm gonna go to the bathroom i'm i'm just gonna go to
00:17:49the bathroom
00:17:49oh
00:17:52jake
00:17:53jadelle baby what are you doing here well let me guess baby's mama you just call me a baby
00:18:00jp she didn't just call me a baby now did she what don't screw with me so much excuse me
00:18:06you don't know her do you jp yes uh baby this is dale
00:18:14you're not anymore you don't
00:18:18buh-bye
00:18:22this is my first bitch slap but seeing the look on her botoxed face you deserve him
00:18:27totally makes it worth it i like
00:18:34and he's gonna put me in this next movie but isn't he kind of old aren't you gonna have to
00:18:39do him probably oh god if i have to stand here and listen to this bimbo yap about the blow
00:18:45job
00:18:45she'll have to give to get a movie part i'll pee my pants um excuse me we're in line um
00:18:53actually
00:18:53you're at the mirror which doesn't really constitute the line whatever just go it's fine
00:19:15i'll give you my number and then you know maybe we can hang out sometime
00:19:18do you want to keep in your number yeah sure totally cool yeah we'll just bypass the whole
00:19:22little coffee thing yeah right that's just awkward
00:19:25yeah i know
00:19:33wash no i didn't pee on my hands
00:19:42i didn't see him did you see jp yep i saw him he looks really hot tonight did you talk
00:19:51to him
00:19:52did you just say he looks hot sorry that was that was really tacky wasn't it
00:19:58so what's the deal with you and zach have you guys ever hooked up before zach yeah uh no i
00:20:04mean
00:20:04not really seriously yeah seriously why are you asking i just can't believe you've never hooked up
00:20:10with him before yeah well i mean we've hung out a lot but no well if you were telling me
00:20:15you're just
00:20:15gonna leave him to the uneducated models of la then i am gonna have to jump his bones for both
00:20:20of us
00:20:26so are you an actress no no no no not really i i thought i was for a minute but
00:20:30turns out it's
00:20:31not for me way too much self-analyzing so what do you do now i design jewelry these are mine
00:20:39they're very nice thanks oh my gosh is it here it was zach magazine is named number one in their
00:20:46hottest men alive issue yes can i process that oh come on are you kidding oh come on cc it's
00:20:51that magazine yeah it's not exactly it's you know it's very wait you're leaving yeah where's becca
00:20:58to the producer
00:21:11i don't excuse me for one second hey guys hey dale hey hey dale
00:21:21i'll hold him up
00:21:24come on let's go inside for a minute please yeah it's it doesn't make any sense to me sometimes
00:21:30listen uh i didn't get a chance to talk to you i went to uh see if you wanted to
00:21:33go to dinner next
00:21:34week um i i can't i didn't even give you a day well i'm sorry i know i'm just i'm
00:21:41slammed right now
00:21:42working this retarded dating reality show okay well i mean look if you're not too busy then maybe uh
00:21:52you can make about my show at the label next week we can hang out after that
00:21:55yeah because yeah you didn't exactly make that show you promised you'd come to the other night
00:21:59oh i'm i'm sorry it's okay i totally forgot hey you know what next week though for sure okay good
00:22:07because you had me a little bit worried there you know it's not like you to just drop off the
00:22:12grid
00:22:12like that you're my la comfort food you know i need to see you every so often la comfort food
00:22:19i like that i'm sorry it's just been one of those months you know that photographer jp and i
00:22:28right we were sort of dating on and off and then i found out that he got this supermodel pregnant
00:22:33and
00:22:34i mean i didn't even want to come out tonight and i ran into them and i just i don't
00:22:40know i just can't
00:22:41hit the hollywood scene anymore it's just it's not for me i didn't even know you were dating anyone i
00:22:46thought you were i thought you were single well slightly single i mean it was never anything fully
00:22:52committed well breakups are always pretty tough yeah i just don't get this town everyone is always
00:23:02on the search for the bigger better deal and just yeah but you know it's all about hype right i
00:23:07mean
00:23:07at the end of the day that's all it is it's hype well yeah but it's different when you're famous
00:23:13you're part of something better that people are searching for but i am the exact same person
00:23:19that i've always been i'm not in this business for the hype hey jack come here
00:23:27am i going to be on the cover of a tablet as your newest squeeze i think i can handle
00:23:33that
00:23:37oh i'm so sorry that's okay i like a good headbutt that was yeah i i was i went to
00:23:43kiss your cheek
00:23:43and i am such an idiot he was clearly going for the lips okay well have a good night thanks
00:23:51bye
00:23:58seven and i work in a production company that cranks out crappy reality shows our job is to find and
00:24:04cast a quote unquote talent such as it is so just be natural and forget that the camera's even here
00:24:11oh
00:24:12well i'm very comfortable in front of a camera so why don't you tell me how you and bert met
00:24:17i'm sure
00:24:18that's a great story we met on the internet now take these two they're here for a slot on the
00:24:24upcoming show geezer town some people will say or do just about anything to be on tv a blue pill
00:24:31a day
00:24:31makes your lady wanna stay oh really um i'll be back in just a second
00:25:03okay i'll be there in two seconds
00:25:09you don't want to leave this in there that was becca she was
00:25:12crying and i don't know i gotta go pick her up i'll be back in 20 minutes can you cover
00:25:16for me
00:25:16with the phone sexing cyberspacing 80 year old couple yes please they're kind of scaring me
00:25:21yeah yeah yeah go thank you
00:25:29three two one oh please thank you
00:25:44what happened becca what happened what's wrong what happened
00:25:51you have got to be kidding me i i just don't understand i mean you got a boot six months
00:25:56ago
00:25:57how does someone get a boot on their car twice unless in a year every monday i have to get
00:26:01up and move my
00:26:02car before nine a.m nine a.m nine a.m sometimes i forget okay on days like this it's
00:26:11really helpful
00:26:11to remember that becca donates blood rescues puppies and volunteers at the local soup kitchen
00:26:17how much
00:26:18nine hundred and eighty dollars
00:26:20nine hundred and eighty dollars yes
00:26:23you know what we'll get the money
00:26:52love is
00:26:55Love is a thief, and I'm stealing our hearts tonight.
00:27:07And you give it to me, you give me all of you.
00:27:15You're all I see, you're all I want is to be.
00:27:28I know, right? He looks so different.
00:27:33I don't think he's as clean as he used to be.
00:27:36Clean? He's got that whole grunzy rock star thing working for him.
00:27:40You can say that again.
00:27:44Hey Jill, where's Drew tonight?
00:27:46Oh, he had a movie screening, and then he's going out with the guys.
00:27:49Because he's so excited about the whole engagement.
00:27:52Yes, he's so excited.
00:27:53And I decided that I don't want a long engagement, so we set a date.
00:27:57September.
00:27:58Oh!
00:28:00That's great!
00:28:01Don't you think that's a little quick?
00:28:03Uh, no, Holly, I don't.
00:28:05I'm pushing 30, okay?
00:28:06You just tell me how it feels when you get here.
00:28:09I'm 25, Jill.
00:28:10Not like you're 108.
00:28:11Yeah, yeah, count me out on this one.
00:28:13Well, my agent told me never to divulge my real age, so I really can't participate in this conversation either.
00:28:18Can you both smell like desperate horrors?
00:28:26Thank you all for coming. Thank you very much.
00:28:31Hey!
00:28:32You made it, huh?
00:28:33Hey!
00:28:34That was incredible.
00:28:36That was amazing.
00:28:36You think?
00:28:37Yeah, you know everyone, right?
00:28:39Yeah, definitely lovely ladies of L.A., of course, and Seven.
00:28:42How are you?
00:28:42Much better now that you're here.
00:28:43How are you?
00:28:43Good.
00:28:45Good.
00:28:46I'm...
00:28:46Hey!
00:28:47Hey!
00:28:48How are you doing?
00:28:49What's that?
00:28:50Uh, I'm going to go to the bar.
00:28:51Anybody want a drink?
00:28:52You guys want to join?
00:28:53Sure, why not?
00:28:54I'll stay.
00:28:55Will you get me another Jack and Coke?
00:28:56Yeah, sure.
00:28:57Okay.
00:28:59Hey!
00:29:04Hey, where did, uh, where did Dale go?
00:29:06Oh, she went to the bar.
00:29:07Oh, oh, well, um, Cece, this is Hallie.
00:29:09I didn't get a chance to introduce you guys the other night.
00:29:11Uh, no, it's nice to meet you.
00:29:12Same.
00:29:13Oh, this is my girlfriend, Dominique.
00:29:17So, um, when are you practicing tomorrow,
00:29:19I want to hear from the song.
00:29:20Oh, but Cece works A&R for our tour manager,
00:29:23so everything's got to get the thumbs up from her.
00:29:25Oh, I'm easy.
00:29:26I mean, well, not kind of easy, you know,
00:29:28but with a voice like his, you can't do much wrong.
00:29:32She's, uh, she's cute.
00:29:34I say go for it.
00:29:36You're in trouble, you know that, Cece?
00:29:37What, afraid you're gonna fall in love?
00:29:42Hold it.
00:29:43Hold it.
00:29:48Okay, you have got to stop it with the winks.
00:29:52She winks?
00:29:52All the time.
00:29:54Becca is a winker.
00:29:55Becca's a wanker?
00:29:56No, not a wanker, a winker.
00:29:59She winks.
00:30:01I only do it to guys that I think are cute, okay?
00:30:04It's for this movie I'm doing.
00:30:05It's a character role.
00:30:07So what are you guys doing after this?
00:30:09Um, home.
00:30:11Yeah, I gotta work early in the morning.
00:30:12Oh, whoa, lame, lame.
00:30:13Excuse me, can I have, uh,
00:30:14can we get six tequila shots, please?
00:30:16Pop-chill?
00:30:17Yes.
00:30:18Oh, no.
00:30:19No, that is trouble.
00:30:20I've puked.
00:30:21I'll clean it up.
00:30:23Oh, God.
00:30:24Uh, count yourself lucky you even got her out.
00:30:26She's always in bed by 10 p.m.
00:30:28Maybe just one night.
00:30:30Uh, I would, but I really should go.
00:30:33Me either.
00:30:34I'm interviewing wedding planners in the morning.
00:30:36I have an audition at 9.
00:30:37I'm casting.
00:30:39I'm free.
00:30:40Okay.
00:30:40Yeah.
00:30:41Okay.
00:30:41Well, um, I'll let you all step up this one time, okay?
00:30:45But next time, you're staying.
00:30:47All of you, stay in.
00:30:48Good job.
00:30:49Yeah, have a good day.
00:30:49Bye, guys.
00:30:51See you later.
00:30:52I don't mean to be rude, but can I get an autograph?
00:30:56Oh, yeah, sure.
00:31:01Thanks.
00:31:02I'm a big fan.
00:31:05Wow, that is a lot of tequila.
00:31:08Oh, yeah.
00:31:09I'm just letting you know now that tequila and I are a wild mix.
00:31:12Things might get silly.
00:31:14Okay.
00:31:16All right, but only if you do a wraparound.
00:31:21Go like this.
00:31:29Just once.
00:31:30And I'm not going to let you put your penis in my ass either.
00:31:33It's an out-hole, not an in-hole.
00:31:34Why are you being such a prude?
00:31:36I'm not being a prude.
00:31:37I'm just not a porn star, okay?
00:31:38Now it's our lack of sex in front of everybody.
00:31:42I just had the wedding on my mind.
00:31:44Oh, surprise.
00:31:44All right, the wedding, which you haven't had any input in, BTW.
00:31:49BTW, Jesus.
00:31:50It's because I work and I don't sit at home eating chip and dip and obsess over the wedding.
00:31:55What?
00:31:55Yes, it is disgusting what you're doing.
00:31:57It's a pig.
00:31:58I'm a pig.
00:31:59Hi.
00:31:59Hi.
00:32:00Hi.
00:32:00Are you guys okay?
00:32:02Yeah, we're good.
00:32:03We're just here working on our calves.
00:32:04Hey, hi.
00:32:06Well, that's, I know.
00:32:07Who is that?
00:32:07That's, um, that's, uh, that is, uh, a client.
00:32:11Jill!
00:32:11God!
00:32:12Yeah, right.
00:32:12Back off!
00:32:13Yeah, right.
00:32:14That's what it is.
00:32:16Jill calls her engagement to Drew a match made in heaven.
00:32:19Watching them squabble about wedding cakes and the medicinal benefits of anal sex,
00:32:24I couldn't help but think that heaven has a strange sense of humor in me.
00:32:27I'll call you later, okay?
00:32:29Okay.
00:32:29Okay.
00:32:30Bye.
00:32:30Come on, Bowie.
00:32:31Bowie?
00:32:32Terrible, man.
00:32:34Listen, I want to try it.
00:32:35It's just one, one little, just one time.
00:32:37No!
00:32:41You know, that camera looks very good on you.
00:32:43Oh, you think?
00:32:45So what are you going to do with these pictures?
00:32:46I don't know.
00:32:47You know, maybe you sell them on the internet and make some money off your ass.
00:32:51Album cover, my man.
00:32:53I'm telling you.
00:32:55Want some?
00:32:55Oh, no, no, thanks.
00:32:57I'm cool.
00:32:57You smoke too much, Jivers.
00:32:59Way too much.
00:33:00What?
00:33:01It's all natural.
00:33:02Oh, organic.
00:33:03No chemicals.
00:33:06Is this new?
00:33:08It is.
00:33:10It's about a girl.
00:33:12Is it about?
00:33:14That blonde?
00:33:15Blonde?
00:33:16No.
00:33:17No blondes.
00:33:20There ain't no words that I could say.
00:33:26Cause words would just get in the way.
00:33:32But it is written in the wind.
00:33:37This is where it all begins.
00:33:43I've been dreaming you to last.
00:33:49I've been hoping every night.
00:33:55Now you're wanting me to stay.
00:33:59Keeps getting better every day.
00:34:04Every day.
00:34:05I'm so happy I could cry.
00:34:11I think about it all the time.
00:34:16Yeah, yeah.
00:34:17I'm so happy I could cry.
00:34:22I just can't get you off of my mind.
00:34:28I found a reason for living again.
00:34:34I found a reason for loving again.
00:34:37See you later.
00:34:39I'm so happy I could cry.
00:34:43So how is Jill's wedding coming along?
00:34:45It's pretty good.
00:34:47There's a bit of drama though.
00:34:49Wow.
00:34:49Drama and a wedding.
00:34:50It's shocking.
00:34:51Yeah, well Jill wants this, you know,
00:34:53chapel filled with 8,000 red roses
00:34:56and some like $80,000 wedding dinner
00:34:59and $7,000 wedding dress.
00:35:01And her dad won't cover the entire tab.
00:35:03Wow, I'm very glad that I'm not Drew right now.
00:35:06Or her dad.
00:35:07Yeah, but that's just Jill, you know.
00:35:08We love her for it.
00:35:10She's extravagant.
00:35:10You know, I've known her since I was 11.
00:35:13We went to boarding school together.
00:35:14Wow, you went to boarding school when you were 11.
00:35:16Did you miss your parents a lot?
00:35:18Yeah.
00:35:20Um, it's complicated.
00:35:21Well, when did you get home to see them?
00:35:23Well, on the holidays or, you know,
00:35:25the occasional odd long weekend.
00:35:27No, I liked boarding school.
00:35:29It was what I needed.
00:35:31How do you mean?
00:35:34Well, my parents died when I was a kid.
00:35:37I've told you that, right?
00:35:38No.
00:35:40No, I'm very sorry.
00:35:41I didn't know that.
00:35:43How did they die?
00:35:44Together?
00:35:46No, they actually died separately.
00:35:49My dad was when I was five.
00:35:50My mom was when I was 11.
00:35:54Oh, no.
00:35:55No, no.
00:35:55It's not sad.
00:35:57It was a really long time ago.
00:36:00I just don't talk about it much, because...
00:36:05Um, what about your parents?
00:36:08They're still together, right?
00:36:10Still together.
00:36:11Yeah.
00:36:12After 30 years.
00:36:13They're totally in love with each other.
00:36:15It's amazing.
00:36:18Oh, you can get that.
00:36:19No.
00:36:20No, that's okay.
00:36:22But you can get that.
00:36:24Sorry.
00:36:26Oh, it's Hallie.
00:36:27Just two seconds.
00:36:29Hey.
00:36:31Um, yeah.
00:36:32Yeah, yeah.
00:36:32I'm still here.
00:36:36Um, sure.
00:36:37That's fine.
00:36:40Wait.
00:36:41You didn't really just do what I think you just did, did you?
00:36:44Because I kind of had plans to just spend the night with you.
00:36:47Um, she's outside.
00:36:48How did she get my address?
00:36:50I don't know.
00:36:51Not for me.
00:36:52No!
00:36:54Door's open.
00:36:55Hi.
00:36:57Dale said she was coming by to shoot the band today,
00:36:59so I thought I'd surprise you.
00:37:01Hey.
00:37:01Hey.
00:37:02We actually finished a couple hours ago, but, um...
00:37:05Really?
00:37:06Yeah.
00:37:08Wanda, do you, uh, sit back down?
00:37:10You're not...
00:37:10Yeah.
00:37:11No, I know.
00:37:12I'm sorry I'm lame, but I have to work in the morning, so...
00:37:16You should see the show she's casting.
00:37:17It is so funny.
00:37:19Look, you could stay.
00:37:20Have another beer.
00:37:20Oh, I'm sure we'll do it some other time.
00:37:22But I'll see you guys later.
00:37:23Just one second.
00:37:27All right, Mr. Zachary.
00:37:29Um, I'll text you tomorrow.
00:37:31Why are you leaving?
00:37:33Because I have to work tomorrow.
00:37:35And you're just gonna leave me with your friend in there?
00:37:37Hey, Zach, where's your corkscrew?
00:37:39Okay.
00:37:41Okay.
00:37:41Whatever.
00:37:44She just showed up hours later, unannounced.
00:37:47I guess something did happen between them the other night.
00:37:49What'd Zach say?
00:37:51Well, I mean, he said he wanted me to stay, and, you know,
00:37:54but I think it was just playing dumb.
00:37:56I'm gonna get you, Dale.
00:37:57I really don't.
00:37:58What?
00:37:59Why don't you just go for him?
00:38:02Because, Seven, I'm done having meaningless relationships with these loser L.A. guys.
00:38:07Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
00:38:08Whoa.
00:38:09Zach is a loser L.A. guy.
00:38:13No, he's...
00:38:14No, he's not.
00:38:15But anyhow, I'm not his type.
00:38:17Especially now that Hallie's all over him.
00:38:19You are so wrong.
00:38:21You're so wrong.
00:38:23It doesn't matter, because, hey, I'm gonna go out on a date with Hayden.
00:38:27Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:38:28But just his friend.
00:38:28You're going out with Hayden?
00:38:30The fame-seeking personal trainer who's only using you to get ahead in this desperate city.
00:38:36Oh, shit, Seven.
00:38:37That's...
00:38:38That's harsh.
00:38:39He just wants to schmooze you so you listen to his stupid reality show concept.
00:38:43He's only interested in seeing what you can do for him in his career because you have a career.
00:38:47And the only reason Hallie isn't to Zach is because you gave her the okay to pursue.
00:38:52I never said pursue.
00:38:54She asked me if we'd ever hooked up, and I said no, but I...
00:38:56Liz, I've never said this to you before, but you are gonna regret this.
00:39:00Trust me.
00:39:02Damn it, you're afraid of a real relationship, Dale.
00:39:05Why does everyone keep saying that?
00:39:06I am not scared of relationships.
00:39:09But you're scared of something.
00:39:13Let's just forget about it.
00:39:27Okay.
00:39:28Sorry.
00:39:29Yeah, no, it's okay.
00:39:31I just wasn't expecting that.
00:39:36Was it weird seeing Dale?
00:39:41Yeah.
00:39:42Yeah, it was weird.
00:39:44I felt like I sensed something between you guys.
00:39:49Yeah.
00:39:50Yeah, I think maybe you did.
00:39:52I don't know.
00:39:52Dale and I are really tight.
00:39:54You know?
00:39:55And, um, as I told you before, Hallie, I'm just not that interested in a relationship right now,
00:39:59and I wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong impression about what's going on here.
00:40:04She's the one that told me to pursue you, just so you know.
00:40:07She told you that?
00:40:09Yeah, and you sound surprised.
00:40:11She said you guys were just friends.
00:40:13You've never hooked up, and that she isn't your type.
00:40:17Not my type.
00:40:21So, are we cool?
00:40:23Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're cool, we're cool.
00:40:24But I just, I don't think this is a very good idea right now, okay?
00:40:28What?
00:40:29This isn't a good idea?
00:40:30Look, I just, I'm just not that into this right now.
00:40:33You're not into this?
00:40:34No.
00:40:35Are you going to do this?
00:40:45Hey!
00:40:46Hey, Hayden.
00:40:48Hey, tell us that up.
00:40:49Hey, Hayden.
00:40:49Oh.
00:40:50I'm just joking.
00:40:51Oh!
00:40:53Oh!
00:40:54Hey!
00:40:55That's, that's, that's not expected.
00:40:57It's really, really nice to see you.
00:40:58So, this is a great restaurant.
00:40:59It's got some health-conscious options.
00:41:01Okay.
00:41:01Because, you know, I'd like to take care of myself.
00:41:05How do you see?
00:41:06I, I did notice your pecs just now.
00:41:10Hey!
00:41:11Hey!
00:41:12Hey!
00:41:13Are you flexing?
00:41:14When I talk to you, it's here.
00:41:16Really?
00:41:17How?
00:41:21What are you options for something low-carb, low-fat, low-sodium, high-profess?
00:41:25Which is better, the bacon cheeseburger or the desaccarim?
00:41:27It's a Cajun salmon, wild-caught or farm-raised.
00:41:30Do you have chicken fingers or ranch?
00:41:32My favorite, organic, vegan, non-soy, gluten-free nut.
00:41:34Do you recommend the mac and cheese?
00:41:35Have you seen that?
00:41:36It looked brilliant because I don't want any acrylamites in my food.
00:41:38I have the crab cakes with butter sauce, extra butter.
00:41:40Are these Swedish meatballs kosher?
00:41:43You're right, but people really are vain here.
00:41:45I mean, I'm not.
00:41:46I'm self-aware, which is, like, radically different.
00:41:49And I'm self-conscious, conscious of self.
00:41:52Right.
00:41:53I'm self-conscious, which is a good thing, I think.
00:41:55What do you think?
00:41:56Well, I mean, I think it's really good.
00:41:57I'm all about my work, and my body is my work, so one might say that, yeah, I'm all about
00:42:03my body, but in some respects that is true, but I mean, you're completely missing the point.
00:42:08And the point is, you're completely missing my point.
00:42:15Okay, rewind, reset.
00:42:18Look, I feel like I've got a great vibe between you and me, great energy going on here.
00:42:22So, yeah, okay, I get it.
00:42:26So, let's lay the facts down.
00:42:27You want to be with me, and vice versa.
00:42:30That much is clear.
00:42:31But my work always comes first.
00:42:33I need to lay that down right off the bat.
00:42:35Basically, my body comes before you.
00:42:38He seems perfect.
00:42:40Good-looking, somewhat single-minded, somewhat vain, and not too bright.
00:42:45No promise of a great romance.
00:42:47No chance of falling too hard for this guy.
00:42:50No risk of getting hurt.
00:42:53But is this right for me?
00:42:56I'm kind of sensing a pattern here.
00:42:59She's got this great, beautiful chest on you with great definition.
00:43:03She'd probably bench press quite a bit.
00:43:04Is Seven right about me?
00:43:06I hate for Seven to be right because he's always right about that kind of stuff.
00:43:16Seriously, I don't think that's jerky or...
00:43:17I need a sign.
00:43:19Is this right for me?
00:43:22I got this great idea.
00:43:24I know you're going to love it.
00:43:27Fitness fanatics.
00:43:28It's my reality TV show.
00:43:32Check, please.
00:43:34Is that for checks?
00:43:45Ready, Freddy?
00:43:47We're walking, right?
00:43:48You don't want to drive?
00:43:50You guys, it's two blocks.
00:43:51They have valet parking, you know.
00:44:00So where's Hallie this morning?
00:44:03I don't know.
00:44:03I saw her on Tuesday and I haven't seen her for the rest of the week.
00:44:06You know that she changed her status to it's complicated?
00:44:10What does that mean?
00:44:11It's complicated?
00:44:13With who?
00:44:14Oh my gosh, you guys.
00:44:16The yoga instructor just smiled at me.
00:44:18He is the cutest dimple.
00:44:21Okay, he's telling us to shut up.
00:44:23His smile is as his state it's in.
00:44:25Oh, God.
00:44:28Namaste.
00:44:30Namaste.
00:44:31You guys really do this all the time?
00:44:34Yeah.
00:44:34I have to.
00:44:35I'm older than you.
00:44:37You get sadder quicker.
00:44:38Sorry, I'm late.
00:44:39I just got your message.
00:44:42You're late.
00:44:43Hey.
00:44:45Hey.
00:44:47What's going on?
00:44:48You guys look so serious.
00:44:49I was telling you all about my wedding.
00:44:51Drew still hasn't picked a tux yet.
00:44:53Or a groomsman, for that matter.
00:44:55Well, you know, we're guys.
00:44:57We take a little bit longer with that kind of stuff.
00:44:59Yeah.
00:45:02Well, I gotta go.
00:45:03I have a hair appointment at two and then a couple jewelry design appointments.
00:45:06Wow, that's so fetch.
00:45:07Congrats, girl.
00:45:08Thanks, girl.
00:45:09So I'll call you later?
00:45:10Hey, do you mind driving me home?
00:45:13No yoga.
00:45:15No.
00:45:15We missed it.
00:45:16Yeah.
00:45:17I guess.
00:45:20Okay.
00:45:21When did that start and did you know?
00:45:24Well, I mean, I kind of guessed, but...
00:45:26Does she know about you two?
00:45:28What's there to know?
00:45:30Hallie should know better.
00:45:31Seriously.
00:45:32Anybody that knows you would know that you are so hot for him.
00:45:35Becca, I am not so hot for him.
00:45:36No, he's your friend.
00:45:38And it is so typical of Hallie.
00:45:40She's a fame whore.
00:45:41No, she's not.
00:45:44It's...
00:45:45Damn it.
00:45:45She is a fame whore.
00:45:47No, she's not.
00:45:48Oh, God.
00:45:49Hallie's just frustrating me so much right now, and she doesn't deserve that.
00:45:53Hallie was there for me when I had that swine flu.
00:45:56Every time I've broken up with a cross-eyed boyfriend.
00:45:59I don't know what I would have done about that stalker if it wasn't for Hallie.
00:46:04I need something to take my mind off all of this.
00:46:10Zelle, I don't know what I would do without you.
00:46:12Oh, come on.
00:46:12That's what friends are for.
00:46:14Oh, honey, do you like that setting?
00:46:16Yeah, no, I do.
00:46:16It's nice.
00:46:17You didn't even look.
00:46:18No, I did.
00:46:19I'm looking.
00:46:19Yeah, I love it.
00:46:20It's...
00:46:21What do you think, Zelle?
00:46:22Oh, that's beautiful.
00:46:23Yeah?
00:46:24Okay, I gotta go.
00:46:24I gotta go.
00:46:25I gotta go.
00:46:25Wait, what?
00:46:25I gotta go.
00:46:26I gotta go.
00:46:26I'm 20 minutes late from the meeting.
00:46:28Oh, look at...
00:46:29That's great.
00:46:30That was my favorite.
00:46:31I love you.
00:46:32I love you so much.
00:46:33I love you.
00:46:35Shit.
00:46:36He makes me so mad.
00:46:38We're planning the registry for the most important day of our life, and he just leaves.
00:46:42Maybe he's just feeling a bit of...
00:46:44A bit of what?
00:46:45Anxiety?
00:46:46Can't believe you're defending him.
00:46:48What?
00:46:49No.
00:46:49No, no, no.
00:46:50I'm not defending him.
00:46:51You just don't understand.
00:46:52You can't possibly comprehend what it feels like inside of me right now because you've never
00:46:56been here.
00:46:57Well, that's...
00:46:58That's true.
00:47:00I used to think about what it'd be like.
00:47:02To live your life, Dale.
00:47:04Just walking in your shoes.
00:47:06Nobody expects anything from you.
00:47:08They don't.
00:47:10No one expects anything from me?
00:47:12Mm-hmm.
00:47:13Because you don't have parents expecting babies and marriages and perfect husbands.
00:47:17It's really hard.
00:47:19It's true, but it doesn't mean I want to end up alone.
00:47:25Tell me something, Dale.
00:47:27Am I expecting too much?
00:47:30Is wanting my fiancée to be excited about our wedding, is that too much?
00:47:38I don't know, Dale.
00:47:40Back at St. Mary's for our first communion, the biggest deal was finding out who you were
00:47:44going to get paired up with.
00:47:46I dreamed of walking down the aisle with Billy Dobson, hand in hand.
00:47:51But no such luck.
00:47:52He was paired with Jill, and I ended up with what's-his-face who picked his nose all the
00:47:56time.
00:47:59I wonder if I'll ever get to walk down the aisle with a Billy Dobson of my own.
00:48:11Oh, is this your parents?
00:48:13Yeah, that's them.
00:48:16And is this you with your mother?
00:48:18Yeah.
00:48:23Here, look at this one.
00:48:25Oh, that's great.
00:48:26That's so great.
00:48:26With the smoke around Jibber's face.
00:48:29Yeah.
00:48:31So how's Hallie?
00:48:32Looks like you guys are an item now, huh?
00:48:34No.
00:48:35No, not an item.
00:48:37Definitely not.
00:48:38She's a very nice girl, but she doesn't take no for an answer, does she?
00:48:44Well, you're a big boy.
00:48:45I'm sure you can handle her.
00:48:47Hey, um, I wanted to ask you, did you tell her to pursue me?
00:48:55Hello there, Miss Homebody.
00:48:56Why aren't you dressed yet?
00:48:58For what?
00:48:58Did you forget my big screen debut, Dale?
00:49:01We're going to my L.A. Red Carpet premiere.
00:49:03Hello?
00:49:04What do you think, Johnson?
00:49:06I think she's dead.
00:49:12No excuses.
00:49:13Seven was supposed to tell you.
00:49:15Yeah, well, he didn't.
00:49:16Oh, my God, I did, actually.
00:49:18It's just that you had your head buried in those photos and you didn't notice.
00:49:21Well, I mean, can I wear this?
00:49:22It's L.A.
00:49:23You can wear whatever you want.
00:49:25Okay, I'll just grab my purse.
00:49:26I'll get your heels.
00:49:29Well, hello to you, too.
00:49:30I thought you said you had a meeting to go to.
00:49:32What?
00:49:32You said you had a meeting, remember, when I texted you earlier?
00:49:35Oh, yeah, I did, but I'm done now.
00:49:37Allie, Allie, what's up?
00:49:38What's going on?
00:49:39I think I should be asking you that question.
00:49:42Excuse me?
00:49:43What is going on, Dale?
00:49:45Look, I'm just...
00:49:46Nothing?
00:49:47Did I miss something here?
00:49:49Wait, do you like him now?
00:49:50Is that it?
00:49:51Look, I'm just going to leave, all right?
00:49:54Of course you are.
00:49:55Zach, you're a piece of crap, you know that?
00:49:57You're just another famous asshole guy who thinks he can screw around with any girl he wants
00:50:01and then not call him, well, fuck you.
00:50:02We're not even dating, Allie.
00:50:04I've told you that ten times.
00:50:05Okay, look, look, I'm just going to leave, all right?
00:50:07Dale, as long as I'm here, this is not going to end well.
00:50:10Just leave, okay?
00:50:14I bet you wanted that to happen, didn't you?
00:50:18I'm seriously not following you, Allie.
00:50:20You really need to calm down.
00:50:21You put on this little woe-is-me act, but I'm not buying it.
00:50:25Just because you throw yourself at every guy who's famous,
00:50:28who you think can get you somewhere,
00:50:30and who you think wants you and then shoots you down,
00:50:32you know what?
00:50:32Don't take that out on me, okay?
00:50:34You play the victim thing really well,
00:50:36but it's a load of crap.
00:50:39Shut up.
00:50:40You're not my friend, Dale.
00:50:41You're just like every other two-faced girl in Allie.
00:50:44You just play it better.
00:50:45What are you guys?
00:50:45This is retarded.
00:50:46Are you just going to take her side?
00:50:47I'm not taking anybody's side, okay?
00:50:50Come on, Helen, let's go.
00:50:51Just don't touch me.
00:50:56That really just happened?
00:51:05This week on Dirty Roomies...
00:51:07What are you going to clean this up?
00:51:08I can't live like this.
00:51:09I made the mess.
00:51:10I don't understand why I just have to clean it up.
00:51:12You guys had sex?
00:51:14We have to do a paper edit on these and get them to be lettered.
00:51:16The producers want to see it by Friday.
00:51:18I think cleaning's overrated.
00:51:20There's still a lot of food down the street.
00:51:22I'm not pooping where I am.
00:51:24There's something really truthful about just waiting and doing your whole job at once.
00:51:27We're going to just reuse up all the dishes and then it's time to clean.
00:51:34So you want to talk about it?
00:51:37Not really.
00:51:39Hallie call?
00:51:41No.
00:51:42Call her?
00:51:43And say what?
00:51:44I haven't done anything.
00:51:45Until I do it.
00:51:46I'm not a housewife.
00:51:47I found fleas in the bedroom.
00:51:49You mean my pets?
00:51:50I think fleas are people too and they should be treated so I've children my pets and you're
00:51:55going to kill them?
00:51:56Are you a murderess?
00:51:58Kevin, what do you think I should do?
00:52:01Be honest.
00:52:03Well, I've been honest.
00:52:06Not with Hallie.
00:52:07With herself.
00:52:10Sorry, babe.
00:52:11I cannot give you any more advice on this one.
00:52:14And you put on your pants.
00:52:16You know, look, if Finesse has a problem with it, she should clean that shit up.
00:52:19Hey, it's Dale.
00:52:21Listen, Hallie, will you just call me back, please?
00:52:26Since I have a private number, Hallie won't pick up.
00:52:29Neither will any of our friends, in case it's, you know, someone annoying.
00:52:32They will call you back.
00:52:34But since we all have private numbers, it's nearly impossible for us to communicate by phone.
00:52:39Fortunately, I pick up my phone.
00:52:41Otherwise, this game of trading voicemails would never end.
00:52:45Hello?
00:52:45Hey, it's Hallie.
00:52:47Hey.
00:52:49Jerk off!
00:52:51This guy's on his cell phone and can't drive.
00:52:55Sorry.
00:52:57Hey, are you okay?
00:52:59Yeah, I'm okay.
00:53:00How are you?
00:53:02Hey, um, you want to meet up for dinner tonight and maybe just clear the air about everything?
00:53:07Yeah, I think we should.
00:53:08How does 8 p.m. at Cascade Town?
00:53:10All right, sounds good.
00:53:11Great, I'll meet you there.
00:53:19You didn't think I'd forget, did you?
00:53:22Wow, they're beautiful.
00:53:26So what are the big plans for tonight?
00:53:28Well, that was, um, Hallie.
00:53:30She wants to, uh, get together and think so we can talk about everything.
00:53:34I think she forgot it was my birthday, though.
00:53:36I mean, it was just understandable under the circumstances.
00:53:38What about the other girls?
00:53:40I guess it slipped their mind.
00:53:42Jill's all wrapped up in her wedding and, you know, Becca just got that huge movie, so...
00:53:46It's okay.
00:53:48Happy birthday, Del.
00:53:58Hi, I have a reservation under, um, Squire or Hallie Kimball.
00:54:03Thanks.
00:54:06Surprise!
00:54:09You didn't think you were going to forget, did you?
00:54:11I kind of did.
00:54:12Happy birthday.
00:54:13Happy birthday.
00:54:15All right, you guys, let's dance!
00:54:16Woo!
00:54:17Woo!
00:54:18Woo!
00:54:19Woo!
00:54:36Make a wish, but don't tell anyone or it won't come true.
00:54:42Okay.
00:54:43What could I possibly wish for?
00:54:46Okay.
00:55:11You're drunk, Jill.
00:55:13You never cared before when I was drunk.
00:55:15And it's Dale's birthday, for Christ's sakes.
00:55:19All right, you have got to lower your voice now, because now you're making a scene.
00:55:22Uh, you've got to relax, Drew, because there's nothing they've never heard before.
00:55:26You are so self-centered, Drew.
00:55:30There's bigger things happening in the world than your stupid actor clients and the Nielsen ratings on the TV.
00:55:35You're now officially embarrassing everybody here, okay?
00:55:39Don't you dare effing tell me that I'm embarrassing you, okay?
00:55:44Because my friends think you're a douchebag.
00:55:47Yeah.
00:55:47A nasty-ass sleazebag agent.
00:55:51It's true.
00:55:51We don't think you're a douchebag.
00:55:52It's okay.
00:55:53Come on.
00:55:53Thanks.
00:55:54Oh, where are you going to go?
00:55:55Are you going to go home and masturbate to one of your anime porns?
00:56:00It's cartoons.
00:56:01He made me watch anime porn.
00:56:03Yeah, I'm going to go home and masturbate.
00:56:06That's disgusting.
00:56:07Because it's better than anything you're giving me at home.
00:56:09No, because you love to masturbate.
00:56:11Because for you, it's like having sex with somebody that you love yourself.
00:56:15Did you just make that up?
00:56:16Stop it.
00:56:17Annie Hall, 77.
00:56:18I'm going home.
00:56:19You're going to go screw one of your actresses?
00:56:22One of your stupid, slutty, sleep-your-way-to-the-top actresses?
00:56:29I'm going home.
00:56:31I need to go to bed back.
00:56:33Somebody can stick around.
00:56:34Because now she's drunk, and you're pissed off.
00:56:37That's like the worst combination for you.
00:56:39I know.
00:56:40Oh, just...
00:56:41Stay with me.
00:56:41It's okay.
00:56:42It's okay.
00:56:47I'm stuck.
00:56:49I'm sorry, Dale.
00:56:50Jill, you don't have to be sorry.
00:56:52You just got a little wasted.
00:56:53That's all.
00:56:54Oh, I drank too much.
00:56:57Never drinking again.
00:56:59I've heard that one before.
00:57:04I don't think he wants to marry me, you guys.
00:57:07And then I'm getting married in three weeks.
00:57:11Bill?
00:57:12Don't worry about Drew right now.
00:57:13Just finish blowing chunks, okay?
00:57:16Why don't you go make sure everything's okay out there?
00:57:18I'll stay here with Jill.
00:57:19Okay.
00:57:21Listen, Hallie.
00:57:23I'm really sorry.
00:57:24Are we okay?
00:57:25Yeah, we're okay.
00:57:26I said a lot of things I didn't mean.
00:57:28I'm sorry.
00:57:28Me too.
00:57:29I'm so sorry.
00:57:30You're okay.
00:57:37Look what the cat dragged in.
00:57:39Seven told me about your little surprise party.
00:57:42You know, it's your birthday, so I wanted to come out.
00:57:45See you.
00:57:46I'm glad you did.
00:57:49Wait, where are the girls?
00:57:52Oh, my God.
00:57:53I told everybody he jacks off.
00:57:56Two cartoons.
00:57:58Oh, God.
00:57:58I am not drunk, but I definitely am...
00:58:02Come on, let's come get something to eat.
00:58:05I'm really hungry.
00:58:07You two want to come eat?
00:58:08Oh, no, we'll stay.
00:58:09I mean, I'll stay here.
00:58:10I'll stay with you.
00:58:13Okay.
00:58:19Bye.
00:58:20Thank you, Papa.
00:58:24Going?
00:58:25Wow.
00:58:26Quite a night.
00:58:27Yeah, definitely.
00:58:29Was it a birthday dance?
00:58:32I don't know.
00:58:33Come on.
00:58:33Come on.
00:58:35I wish that I was walking
00:58:39Cause I would not be stopping
00:58:44Till I wake in your backyard
00:58:49Till I wake in your backyard
00:58:51Oh, finally.
00:58:58You're so cute.
00:59:00I knew it.
00:59:02I knew it.
00:59:04Do you feel older?
00:59:07Yes.
00:59:09So when has your chore started?
00:59:11You know, we actually just had to push another month.
00:59:14Our tour manager totally screwed it up.
00:59:17She got the dates wrong.
00:59:18Actually, Cece, whom I think you've met.
00:59:22Oh.
00:59:23The blonde?
00:59:23Yeah, the blonde's...
00:59:24At the park and at the show.
00:59:27Right.
00:59:28You had a thing with her, right?
00:59:30No.
00:59:32No, no, no.
00:59:32She works with me.
00:59:34She's a tour manager.
00:59:36I'm not into guys, but...
00:59:38What makes you think that I was into her?
00:59:41The fact that I'm now officially an idiot.
00:59:44His lesbian tour manager?
00:59:46Ugh.
00:59:58It's a birthday present.
01:00:03It'll bring you luck.
01:00:04I thought you could use it a little bit.
01:00:05I'll stay asleep here for a day or two.
01:00:14It's...
01:00:14It's...
01:00:15It's good.
01:00:17In case you wake up in the space I've saved here.
01:00:24You're not missing me, Anna.
01:00:27No.
01:00:28No.
01:00:29It's actually...
01:00:31Just the opposite.
01:00:32And that's the problem.
01:00:43Don't get too attached, Dale.
01:00:47Come on, Jill.
01:00:48We're gonna go have a sleepover at Dale's tonight.
01:00:51Drew!
01:00:52You okay?
01:00:53She needs a couple glasses of water and some sleep.
01:00:57Let's go.
01:00:58Yeah, I can sleep.
01:00:59Come on, babe.
01:01:03Oh, that's disgusting.
01:01:05No.
01:01:06This is definitely picture-worthy.
01:01:16Is that her puke bucket?
01:01:21Okay.
01:01:22That goes Manny.
01:01:24That's so funny.
01:01:29She's gonna have the worst diarrhea in the world.
01:01:37It's so weird getting older, isn't it?
01:01:39Everything just changes so fast.
01:01:43Yeah, but that's supposed to be the exciting part, isn't it?
01:01:47Why haven't you ever dated Zach?
01:01:53Because I never felt like I was good enough for him.
01:01:57But you like him a lot, right?
01:02:01Yeah.
01:02:02And you think he's handsome.
01:02:04Yeah.
01:02:05And he likes the doll ears.
01:02:08Yeah.
01:02:09I love his bully.
01:02:11And he's one of your best friends.
01:02:13Mm-hmm.
01:02:15So why don't you pursue him?
01:02:17I always liked him.
01:02:20I'm just not good at pursuing a guy.
01:02:24Hallie, I'm sorry if I made you feel jealous.
01:02:27I mean, I never...
01:02:28I never meant to.
01:02:29I never even knew I did.
01:02:31I guess I just feel the way you felt with J.P., you know?
01:02:36Yeah, I understand that.
01:02:42The next morning, as soon as she woke up, Jill took a cab straight home to face the music.
01:02:48Not knowing if that music would be a wedding march.
01:02:52Drew!
01:02:55I'm sorry.
01:02:58I'm so sorry.
01:03:05I love you.
01:03:15I really do love you.
01:03:18Me too.
01:03:27Smell my hair.
01:03:28Does it still smell like cigarettes?
01:03:31No, it smells like Jill.
01:03:32Ugh.
01:03:33Wow, look at this.
01:03:34Party at our place.
01:03:36It's only 9 a.m.
01:03:37Last night, she was wearing the ugliest pair of cotton granny panties I've ever seen in my entire life.
01:03:43Oh, come on, Seven.
01:03:45We all know that you have a pair of granny panties stashed somewhere.
01:03:47Please.
01:03:48Shut up.
01:03:49They were my period panties.
01:03:51Hello.
01:03:51Sorry to just barge in like that, but the door was open.
01:03:55Hey.
01:03:55Look, I'm recruiting people for a ride up the coast.
01:03:57Who's in?
01:03:58Can't.
01:03:58Can't.
01:04:00Dale?
01:04:01Now, don't even begin to say no.
01:04:03You're coming with me.
01:04:04You need the fresh air.
01:04:05So does Bowie.
01:04:08What do you think, Bowie?
01:04:15All right.
01:04:16Twist our arm.
01:04:16To be my love.
01:04:21Be my guide.
01:04:23Be my shelter in the night.
01:04:27Be my hope.
01:04:30Be my truth.
01:04:32I will not forget you.
01:04:35And your love.
01:04:39Be my heart.
01:04:44I will not forget you.
01:04:48I will not forget you.
01:04:54Bye.
01:05:10To be my Lord
01:05:14Be my guide
01:05:16Be my shelter in the night
01:05:21Be my truth
01:05:25I will not, I will not get you
01:05:34I think you want to go inside.
01:05:36Going in, boy.
01:05:38Good job.
01:05:40Thanks, I really needed that.
01:05:42Yeah, so did I.
01:05:44Definitely.
01:05:57Look, I, can I just talk to you for a second, Dale?
01:06:01Just about you and me and about us and what's happening here and...
01:06:07What about us?
01:06:09I don't know, I just...
01:06:14I think I'm falling in love with you.
01:06:19And I know that scares you and I know that makes you want to run away but I am not
01:06:22going anywhere.
01:06:26Dale, I'm not going to die on you.
01:06:27I'm not your mother or your father.
01:06:31You are so scared of anything that's real and...
01:06:34And I'm right here.
01:06:38And I just want to know if you feel the same way.
01:06:44You hooked up with one of my best friends, Zach.
01:06:50Wow.
01:06:53Wow, I thought I understood what was going on here but I guess I was just...
01:06:57I guess I was just totally wrong.
01:07:00I can't believe you're saying that about me.
01:07:02I can't believe you don't trust me.
01:07:08I just want something real.
01:07:10I've been chasing you for two years, Dale.
01:07:12Two years.
01:07:13You know how that feels?
01:07:16But I can't do it anymore.
01:07:17Not if you don't feel the same way about me.
01:07:28Goodbye, Dale.
01:07:40I told Zach I want something real.
01:07:43And here I go, screwing up the best chance I'll ever have at something real.
01:07:48What do you think I wished for my birthday?
01:07:51It starts with Z and ends with Ack.
01:07:56And it turns out, Zach didn't even sleep with Hallie.
01:08:03But even if he had, how could I blame him?
01:08:05I practically pushed him into Hallie's arms.
01:08:08She was right.
01:08:09Maybe I do play the victim sometimes.
01:08:11Everyone's been right about me.
01:08:13You're afraid of a real relationship, Dale.
01:08:15I just put a blind eye to it.
01:08:17I'm scared of getting hurt.
01:08:19Because he's too perfect.
01:08:21I've kept Zach at arm's length.
01:08:23You're so afraid of getting hurt that you end up picking guys that have absolutely no substance.
01:08:28Am I going to live the rest of my life with guys like this?
01:08:31Just to avoid someone real?
01:08:36No.
01:08:38Hell no.
01:08:39I'm ready to change.
01:08:40If I get one more chance, I won't screw it up again.
01:08:45If I just get one more chance.
01:09:10I'll be right there.
01:09:22What are you doing here?
01:09:24I wanted to come by and talk.
01:09:26Look, I think we've done enough talking.
01:09:28So I'm really not interested in talking with you.
01:09:31I just wanted to say that I understand that this isn't going to work.
01:09:35You and I, that is.
01:09:39Okay.
01:09:41Why did you hang out with me?
01:09:45Because I don't want to be rude when you show up to my house unannounced.
01:09:48Like, well, like right now.
01:09:51And you're like a tiger.
01:09:52And you throw yourself at me.
01:09:55And I know I'm passing the blame right now.
01:09:57But it's the best I can come up with on the fly.
01:10:02Why aren't you with Dale?
01:10:03Dale, you're not the typical Hollywood guy.
01:10:05And she needs someone real like that.
01:10:08Look, I really don't know what to say to that.
01:10:11And Dale made it pretty clear that she's not interested in me.
01:10:14You guys just have something between you two.
01:10:19I've seen guys come in and out of her life.
01:10:21But I've never seen her be as comfortable and happy as she is when she's with you.
01:10:27Whatever she's going through, please don't give up on her, Zach.
01:10:31Just let her work it out.
01:10:37I'm sorry if I hurt you.
01:10:38I never meant to do that.
01:10:40You did.
01:10:42I hurt myself.
01:10:47I just gotta open my eyes a little wider next time.
01:10:53Can we maybe, um, hang out?
01:10:56Just, like, be friends and stuff?
01:10:59Yeah, I don't see why not.
01:11:00That'd be good.
01:11:02Okay.
01:11:04Good night.
01:11:05Can we hang out right now?
01:11:06Maybe, like, just come in.
01:11:07I don't think that would be a very good idea.
01:11:08Just come in.
01:11:09Right.
01:11:10Yeah.
01:11:10Yeah.
01:11:12Yeah.
01:11:12Too long.
01:11:17No, no, no, no.
01:11:18You don't understand.
01:11:19She wants yellow roses.
01:11:20Not red.
01:11:21Okay.
01:11:22Bye.
01:11:23Hey!
01:11:24Sounds like we got here just in time.
01:11:26How can we help, Man of Honor?
01:11:27I am so late.
01:11:28Okay, talk to Seven.
01:11:29Okay, I'll be right back.
01:11:33Hello.
01:11:34Hello.
01:11:35Three, two, one.
01:11:38My keys.
01:11:42Three, two, one.
01:11:44And picture of Drew's mom.
01:11:49I'm gonna follow her, make sure she makes it all the way to the elevator and out the front door.
01:12:03Today's the sixth day.
01:12:07Okay, so the funny thing about pantyhose is there isn't a tag.
01:12:11How do you tell which way is the front?
01:12:13You really can't with these things.
01:12:17Hi.
01:12:17Is there a beautiful bride in here?
01:12:19Oh, look at you. Nice suit.
01:12:20Oh, shut up. You're the one who looks beautiful.
01:12:22It's your day. Gosh.
01:12:25Pecca, what the hell are you doing?
01:12:28No, you're not wearing pantyhose. It's hot. Take them off.
01:12:31No. Ridiculous.
01:12:33I'm so sorry. Oh, my God. Where have you been?
01:12:35We just wanted to make sure everything's set up, you know, perfectly at the reception and the dinner and it's
01:12:40great.
01:12:41Wow.
01:12:42You look amazing.
01:12:44You look like a princess.
01:12:52Yes.
01:12:55What's wrong? Don't cry.
01:12:57It's just... I've dreamed about this day my whole life.
01:13:01Since my first communion. Is that weird?
01:13:03No, honey. We've all been dreaming about our own weddings.
01:13:07Now that I'm here, it just doesn't feel right.
01:13:11Everything will work out as it should.
01:13:14The future kind of has a funny way of doing that.
01:13:17We just have to wait and see how it all unfolds.
01:13:26Deep breath.
01:13:28Yeah. Take a deep breath.
01:13:29Oh.
01:13:35Oh, wait. Picture.
01:13:37What? No. No pictures.
01:13:39Okay.
01:13:41Oh, you know you love it.
01:13:43Oh, you like that, huh? What about here?
01:13:44Work it.
01:13:45Oh, work it. Work it.
01:13:46I like it.
01:13:47You better tag me in all these photos.
01:13:48Okay, I like it.
01:13:49What? Oh.
01:13:50Hey.
01:13:51No, seriously. I can't find Drew.
01:13:53I'm sure he's just finishing getting ready.
01:13:57Seven, do you ever think about marriage?
01:13:58Do I ever think about marriage?
01:14:00To who? You?
01:14:01No. Never.
01:14:03No.
01:14:04Do you ever think about, you know, having a family?
01:14:07Kids?
01:14:08Yeah, I mean, I don't want to.
01:14:10Do you ever think about marrying a guy?
01:14:12Maybe.
01:14:14If they ever make it legal.
01:14:15Or if I ever move to Canada.
01:14:19Right.
01:14:20What about you, Dale?
01:14:22Do you ever want to get married?
01:14:25Excuse me, Dale?
01:14:27Hi.
01:14:27We're gonna close the front doors now.
01:14:29Uh, can I get a picture, please?
01:14:31Uh, sure.
01:14:32Princess picture pants here.
01:14:33She loves taking photos.
01:14:34It's their wedding gift.
01:14:36Especially of hot guys.
01:14:38No, I'm just kidding.
01:14:39Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I like it.
01:14:41Mm-hmm.
01:14:43Um, are they ready?
01:14:44Uh, I think so. Just give us two seconds.
01:14:47Okay.
01:14:47I'll go get Drew.
01:14:48Do one shirtless.
01:14:50Okay.
01:14:52Hey, are we ready?
01:14:53No.
01:14:54What do you mean, no?
01:14:55Well, we're waiting on Drew.
01:14:56Oh, it's so typical.
01:15:17Drew left no explanation with anyone.
01:15:20I guess he felt he didn't need to since he never actually asked Jill to marry him in the first
01:15:24place.
01:15:25But as difficult and embarrassing as the day was for Jill, deep down, I don't think she was surprised.
01:15:32You can't push a guy into marriage like that and then expect a happy outcome.
01:15:37Perhaps at one point, Drew did love her.
01:15:41He just forgot why.
01:15:50He just forgot why.
01:15:51What now?
01:15:54Do you want to go get some pepperoni pizza?
01:15:56Honey, I think she needs something a little bit stiffer than a pizza.
01:15:59How about a double jack on the rocks, huh?
01:16:02Uh, excuse me, Jill.
01:16:04I just want to let you know that my confessional is open all week long.
01:16:08I'll be there if you need to speak about anything or talk, get things off your mind.
01:16:11And I, um, I don't mean to have to do this.
01:16:15It's kind of required.
01:16:15Uh, this is a crisis prevention helpline if you need to talk to somebody about anything.
01:16:20And this is, uh, poison control.
01:16:23Probably might need that.
01:16:24I don't know.
01:16:25Uh, good news is we have singles night at Tuesdays down in the basement.
01:16:28And we like to dance around.
01:16:30It's a lot of fun.
01:16:30I'm here to the church, but I dance and look.
01:16:33And if anyone has lifestyle changes, they might want to reconsider.
01:16:36They can just, oh, come to my office.
01:16:38Thank you, Father.
01:16:39You're welcome.
01:16:40Thank you very much.
01:16:42It's not him.
01:16:46He's gone.
01:16:54Let's go see Mommy and Daddy.
01:16:56Okay.
01:16:59Look, Katie.
01:17:00It's a bride.
01:17:01It's a bride.
01:17:01Come on.
01:17:04I'm going to be a bride one day, too.
01:17:06This is what my dress is going to look like.
01:17:08Like it?
01:17:09Yes.
01:17:09Very pretty.
01:17:10Thanks.
01:17:11Today's my first communion.
01:17:13Hey, my veil's the same as yours.
01:17:16Oh, you're right.
01:17:17It is.
01:17:18You're very pretty.
01:17:23Are you the boy?
01:17:26Yes.
01:17:26Yes.
01:17:27You don't look as pretty as the bride.
01:17:29Bye.
01:17:30Bye.
01:17:32Story of my life.
01:17:36Okay.
01:17:37Come on.
01:17:38Hey, are you waiting for them?
01:17:40If you give us a ride, I'll make it worth your while.
01:17:42Listen, Dale.
01:17:43I'm too tired to drive.
01:17:44Will you drive my car home?
01:17:46Seven.
01:17:50Okay.
01:17:52I'm so tired.
01:17:54Boy, boy.
01:17:55Dale, catch.
01:18:00Bye.
01:18:04Bye.
01:18:06Bye.
01:18:15Bye.
01:18:20Hey.
01:18:22Hey.
01:18:26No more douchebag boyfriends.
01:18:28Semi-relationships and keeping people at an emotional arm's length.
01:18:34I just wanted to say...
01:18:36No, wait.
01:18:45Sure, I'm putting myself at risk again.
01:18:47But I'm finally ready to face an uncertain but promising future.
01:19:44Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
01:20:14Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
01:20:17Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
01:20:20Wherever you are.
01:20:27Wherever you are.
01:20:29Oh, oh, oh, oh
01:20:57Your love is a candle that I need forever
01:21:03It burns me to you
01:21:05Your love is a widow, carries me stronger
01:21:12Pulling me through all that I needed to find
01:21:19It always been right by my side
01:21:24The first time I saw you
01:21:29Something slowed down in the world
01:21:33Not all round stars will make believe
01:21:38But you rocked me wherever you are
01:21:42I fell in love with a star
01:21:50Your love is a mountain that takes all my troubles
01:21:56And makes them look small
01:21:58Your love is like cotton and one perfect remedy
01:22:05Made for my soul
01:22:08Nothing can keep me awake
01:22:12Straight to you is the one step I'll take
01:22:17The first time I saw you
01:22:22Something slowed down in the world
01:22:26Thought all round stars will make believe
01:22:31But you rocked me wherever you are
01:22:36My eyes while I've seen
01:22:38The love I believe
01:22:40And it's always been right by my side
01:22:44I was stuck in the middle
01:22:47The most early single
01:22:50Will be one if you hold me tonight
01:22:53Oh, the first time I saw you
01:23:01Oh, the first time I saw you
01:23:02Something slowed down in the world
01:23:05Thought all round stars will make believe
01:23:10But you rocked me wherever
01:23:13You rocked me wherever
01:23:27You rocked me wherever
01:23:31You rocked me wherever
01:23:36You rocked me wherever
01:23:37You rocked me wherever
01:23:37You rocked me wherever
01:23:39You rocked me wherever
01:23:40You rocked me wherever
01:23:41You rocked me wherever
01:23:42You rocked me wherever
01:23:44You rocked me wherever
01:23:44You rocked me wherever
01:23:44You rocked me wherever
01:23:45You rocked me wherever
01:23:48With a star
01:24:25With a star
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