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مسلسل One Day at a Time مترجم - Episode 1
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00:05This is it, this is life, the one you get, double and have a ball.
00:12This is it, create a head and rest assured, you can't be sure at all.
00:19So while you're here, enjoy the view, keep on doing what you do.
00:24Hold on tight, we'll muddle through one day at a time.
00:27So come up on your feet, somewhere that music plays.
00:33Don't you worry, no, we'll just take it like a gun.
00:38One day at a time.
00:41One day at a time.
00:44One day at a time.
00:46One day at a time.
00:49One day at a time.
00:55Okay, Carl, your blood pressure looks good.
00:57Now we're going to do the thing where I ask you some basic health questions and you lie to me,
01:01okay?
01:04Alcoholic beverages per week.
01:05Two, maybe three.
01:09Why are you lying to me, Carl?
01:11Would you also like to lie to me about smoking?
01:13I stop smoking.
01:15Carl, the mouthwash works, but the shirt smells like Virginia Slims.
01:21They make my hands look bigger.
01:26I'm not going to write that down on the chart.
01:29Dr. Berkowitz will be here in a minute, okay?
01:32Hey, what's that picture?
01:34Is that Halloween?
01:35Oh, no.
01:36I think this was closer to Christmas.
01:38But you're wearing army clothes.
01:40Yes, I know.
01:41The camouflage look was all the rage in Afghanistan.
01:46You went to Afghanistan for Christmas?
01:50I'm going to give you a sec.
01:53Oh.
01:54There you go.
01:56Let me ask you.
01:58No, I never killed anyone.
01:59Yes, it was hot over there.
02:00You're welcome for my service.
02:01Anything else?
02:01I was just going to ask, is your husband also a badass soldier?
02:05Oh, yeah, he was.
02:06Oh, my God, I'm sorry.
02:09No, he was a badass soldier, but now he does private security in Afghanistan.
02:15But anyways, we're separated.
02:17So you're single?
02:20Yeah.
02:21Actually, I was just about to go home and make dinner for my kids.
02:24Single mom.
02:26Well, this was fun.
02:32Alex.
02:35Alex, help.
02:42Papito, let's go.
02:44You know I got a bum shoulder.
02:45I need help over here.
02:56Next time, I'll Skype you.
03:12We have a problem.
03:15I know.
03:16The hipsters have discovered portals.
03:18Lying around the block is like the freaking Apple store now.
03:21Mom?
03:22And this one?
03:23I don't like her anymore.
03:26I don't care if you like me.
03:28Sounds like you're both on the same page.
03:30Your daughter does not want to have a quince-s.
03:33What?
03:34What?
03:34We already booked the room, and I found a great band.
03:38Okay, it's a DJ.
03:39Okay, it's your brother with an iPod and a playlist, but it's a very good playlist.
03:43I researched the history of quinceaneras and found out they're totally misogynistic.
03:47She's been reading again.
03:48Why do you let her read?
03:51I know, Mommy.
03:52I let her do math, too.
03:53I'm a monster.
03:55By the way, they made me captain of the debate team today at school, but all she wants to
03:59talk about is this.
04:00She has to have a quince-s.
04:03How else will we know the day that our little girl becomes a woman?
04:07You missed it.
04:08I was 12, I was in gym, and ironically, it happened in first period.
04:17You are throwing away your Cuban heritage.
04:21Yeah, the bad part.
04:23I don't want to be paraded around in front of the men of the village like a piece of property
04:27to be traded for two cows and a goat.
04:29Someone thinks they're worth a lot.
04:34What century do you two think you're in?
04:37I mean, Elena, relax.
04:38It's just a fun party.
04:39You know, I have a little too much wine, embarrass you while I sob during my toast.
04:44Abuelita will dance inappropriately with one of your guy friends.
04:47You can count on it.
04:51I'm not doing it.
04:53You need to do something about this little sinvergüenza.
04:56What does that even mean?
04:58It means that you do not know enough Spanish to know that I'm insulting you.
05:04Oye, tu hermana no sabe la palabra sinvergüenza.
05:07Ha!
05:08Oye, que tonta.
05:11Abuelita, I'll learn more Spanish when you learn English.
05:16I know the English.
05:21Besides, your abuelo, God rest his soul, did not marry me for my mind.
05:28Who do you think you're insulting?
05:31Good one, Mom.
05:32Mom, by the way, what are the last 16 digits of your credit card?
05:35Uh, what are you doing?
05:37Are you shopping?
05:38Because who said you could shop?
05:39You said I could order sneakers for school.
05:42Five pairs?
05:43Monday through Friday.
05:45Don't worry.
05:46I don't eat weekend sneakers.
05:47Well, I can't have my son walking around in Monday sneakers on a Saturday.
05:52Somebody might call child services.
05:55Mom, I'm serious.
05:57I'm in middle school now.
05:58How I look kind of matters.
06:00Okay.
06:00So you can buy one pair for under $40.
06:03$40?
06:04That'll get you perfectly good sneakers to last the whole year.
06:06The whole year?
06:08Okay, Mom.
06:09I know we're not rich.
06:11But are we poor?
06:15No, we're fine.
06:17That sounds like poor.
06:18We're not poor.
06:18I mean, look around.
06:20We have a TV, a refrigerator.
06:21You have a laptop.
06:22These are things that poor people have.
06:26We have an air conditioner.
06:27You never let us turn it on.
06:28The point is you could.
06:30But don't.
06:30Don't ever touch that thing.
06:34All right.
06:35It's Friday night, family dinner time.
06:37Come on, let's go.
06:38Elena, come set the table.
06:39Alex, help you make a salad.
06:40This meat was heavily discounted,
06:42so I need to cook it before it turns.
06:46You guys already ate, didn't you?
06:48She made ropa vieja.
06:49I'm not made of stumps.
06:52Mommy, I told you this morning
06:53that I was going to cook tonight.
06:55I thought it was a joke.
06:56And I thought it was hilarious.
07:01Sorry, Mom.
07:02Do you want us to sit and watch you eat?
07:04No.
07:06We'll just start next Friday, okay?
07:08Okay.
07:09Sounds good.
07:09So, there is some ropa vieja
07:12in the mantequilla thing
07:13if you don't want to eat that
07:16sad meat.
07:18I bought it.
07:19I'm eating it.
07:21Okay.
07:24Oh, yeah, that's not working.
07:25Don't worry.
07:26I told it, Snyder.
07:27Here's some hand sanitizer.
07:29And here.
07:31I don't need lipstick.
07:32Yes, you do.
07:32Okay.
07:33Okay.
07:36You know how much I appreciate your help,
07:38but you have to let me establish my own traditions.
07:40I agree.
07:41So, let's talk quinces.
07:42Hey, Mommy.
07:43Yeah.
07:43I don't want to force her.
07:44You know, this is all on me now.
07:45I want to handle it right.
07:47You know,
07:48a father
07:49would make sure
07:50that his little girl
07:53hara quinces.
07:54You really want to go there
07:55because I'm holding a hammer.
07:57I'm just saying,
07:58maybe when Victor comes,
07:59Paco can work it out.
08:00Remember when we all moved in together
08:02and you said,
08:02if you ever want me to go away,
08:04just say,
08:04go away.
08:05Yeah?
08:07Oh.
08:10Ah, bueno.
08:11A mí que me importa.
08:13Esta ramea está llena de dramáticas,
08:15teatro.
08:16Yo tengo amigos que me quieren muchísimo
08:18y que me dan respeto.
08:24Yo tengo amigos que me dan respeto.
08:56Schneider!
08:59Well, you grew out that mustache, huh?
09:02Yeah, finally took the plunge
09:03and went full handlebar.
09:04Feeling really good about it.
09:07I feel like it says,
09:08I mean, business.
09:09Yes, if your business
09:10is taming lions.
09:12Wait, I have one more.
09:14You're 40 and you look stupid.
09:18I knew it!
09:21What?
09:22That's fake?
09:23Yeah, I'm not gonna grow a real one
09:25until I know if people like it.
09:26And I'll have you know,
09:27I was invited to several pride parades.
09:34Please tell me you're here
09:35to fix my sink.
09:36Yeah, fine.
09:41Oh, that's a cool hammer.
09:42I'm not careful.
09:43That's very expensive
09:44Damascus steel.
09:46Ah, so we've got
09:47two fancy tools up in here.
09:49No, come on, come on, no.
09:51You know you're the only
09:52non-Latino I trust
09:53to fix stuff.
09:53Oh, is that racist?
09:55Oh, who cares?
09:55It's just us.
09:57Oh, da le wey.
09:58Yeah, don't do that.
09:59I regretted it
09:59as soon as I said it.
10:01No problem.
10:02I can get that done by tonight.
10:03Maybe after dinner.
10:04What's your mom cooking?
10:06You've really been eating here
10:07a lot lately.
10:09Yeah, I like it too.
10:13Can you believe
10:13it's only been ten months
10:15since you moved in?
10:16I remember
10:17because I got my
10:17five-year sober chip
10:18and your mom baked me that cake.
10:20Oh, I remember, yeah.
10:21I'm sorry it was a rum cake.
10:23I enjoyed watching
10:24you guys eat it.
10:26Oh, by the way,
10:28looks like you
10:30accidentally
10:30threw these out.
10:32Found them in the trash.
10:33Wonder how they got there.
10:36Hey,
10:37listen,
10:38you can tell me anything.
10:40There's a
10:41landlord-tenant
10:42confidentiality clause
10:43in your lease.
10:45No, there isn't.
10:46Okay, there's not,
10:47but I really want to know
10:47what's going on.
10:51Fine.
10:52They're antidepressants
10:53that Dr. Berkowitz
10:54thought I might need,
10:55but he doesn't know
10:55what he's talking about.
10:57Yeah, it sounds like
10:58he really cares about you.
10:59What a dick.
11:02I don't need them,
11:03and I have to get them
11:04out of here,
11:04because if my mom
11:05finds them,
11:05it'll be,
11:06adios mio,
11:07she's so yonky
11:07like the Amy Whitehauser.
11:12Yeah, so I will,
11:14I'll just get that washer,
11:15and we'll get that thing
11:16fixed right up.
11:17Oh.
11:19Hello, it's neither.
11:23Hola, senora.
11:25Oh, you shaved
11:26on your mustache.
11:28What, you liked it?
11:29Oh, yes,
11:29it made me laugh.
11:33Elena,
11:35ven acá.
11:36Come out here, honey.
11:37What's up, abuelita?
11:38Okay, listen,
11:39I know you got issues
11:41with the king says,
11:43but no, no, no,
11:43but I am going
11:46to show you something
11:47that I think
11:48might change
11:50your mind.
11:59This could be you.
12:04Mommy, please,
12:05put those away.
12:05I hate those pictures.
12:06Burn it.
12:08Oh, hey,
12:10the quinceanera.
12:11You're doing it.
12:12Elena,
12:13I knew you'd come around.
12:14She didn't.
12:14She thinks she's being
12:15sold into slavery.
12:16That's not really
12:17part of it, right?
12:20You know what?
12:20Let me talk to her.
12:21I've been doing
12:22some outreach
12:23down at the rec center
12:24talking to at-risk youth.
12:25No, I don't think
12:26you should do that.
12:27Hey, girl.
12:31How you living?
12:34Your abuela wants
12:35to throw you
12:36a sick kickback
12:37on a Saturday night.
12:38You know,
12:38keep it 100.
12:41You down?
12:43What's happening
12:44right now?
12:45Schneider,
12:46she's going to do it.
12:47I got this.
12:48You know what,
12:48captain debater?
12:50Let's debate this.
12:52But we're not doing
12:52a regular debate.
12:53It's got to be
12:54that thing I saw you do
12:55where we argue
12:56the opposite side
12:57to better understand
12:58each other.
12:58You mean a
12:59Lincoln-Douglas debate
13:00my specialty?
13:01I once successfully
13:03argued against gravity,
13:04so...
13:05Ooh, I'm going to
13:06take my earpiece off.
13:09Because it's about
13:10to go down!
13:20The issue before us
13:22is quincez
13:23or no quincez.
13:24Okay.
13:26So I'm you.
13:28Mm, listen, kid.
13:30A quincez
13:31is just about
13:31the village
13:32celebrating
13:32that you're a woman,
13:33which I know you know
13:34because you're
13:34the smartest one
13:35in the family.
13:37I got better moves
13:38than that, right?
13:40Mm.
13:43But village
13:44isn't literal.
13:45It just means
13:45you're a family
13:46and you're friends.
13:47So what's so bad
13:48about this modern village
13:49coming together
13:50to celebrate you?
13:51Oh, yeah.
13:52She's good.
13:53Oh, my money's on her.
13:55You guys want to
13:56start taking bets?
13:56Actually, scratch that.
13:58I'm addicted to gambling.
14:00Okay.
14:01Now I'll be you.
14:06Oh, my God!
14:08Do you even hear yourself?
14:10Seriously.
14:10Your argument
14:12is that my adulthood
14:13has to be approved
14:14by your friends?
14:15Pass!
14:21But I'm not gonna
14:22clap for that.
14:25So you want
14:26to crush my heart
14:28into pieces?
14:31After I worked
14:32so hard
14:33to give you
14:33an opportunity
14:34in this land
14:35of the free
14:36and home
14:36of the brave?
14:39That's not me.
14:40That's her.
14:42And you make me
14:43sound like
14:44I have an accent.
14:49Let's end this.
14:51Elena,
14:52you wrecked
14:53your first communion
14:54because as a vegetarian,
14:56you wouldn't eat
14:57the body of Christ.
14:58You even refused
14:59to take any pictures
15:00with Santa
15:01because your abuelita
15:02wouldn't mean
15:03that Christmas
15:03is a pagan ritual.
15:05Jesus and Santa
15:06were cousins.
15:07Everybody knows this.
15:14So,
15:15when it comes
15:16to your kinces,
15:17I'm pleading with you.
15:19Can't you
15:20do this one thing
15:21for your mother
15:22who loves you?
15:26Okay, Mom,
15:27I'll do it.
15:30Wait, what?
15:31I'm saying
15:32you win.
15:34You should have
15:35a kinces
15:36like you just proved.
15:37What?
15:40Dang,
15:41Mommy sent you up.
15:43I didn't realize
15:44how right I was.
15:45She said a bunch
15:46of stuff
15:46I didn't even think of.
15:50Mommy,
15:51aretes.
15:52Okay,
15:52this was stupid.
15:54I'm still not having
15:55a kinces.
15:55Oh, God,
15:55just accept it.
15:56You're Cuban,
15:57you're 15,
15:57you're gonna have
15:58a big party
15:58with a poopy dress
15:59and a bad photo.
16:00It's what we do.
16:10She can't speak Spanish.
16:17Mrs. Doyle
16:18is in exam room three
16:19and I swear to God
16:20if that vieja
16:20calls me Maria
16:21one more time.
16:24Mrs. Doyle
16:25has Alzheimer's.
16:26Oh, no,
16:27I'm so sorry.
16:27Hey,
16:28I'm messing with you.
16:29She's just racist.
16:35What's going on
16:35with you today?
16:36You're all on edge.
16:38I had to put my foot
16:39down with Elena
16:40about her kinces.
16:42I'm not sure
16:42if I did the right thing.
16:43She wouldn't talk
16:44to me all weekend.
16:45Oh, don't worry.
16:46It gets better.
16:47Eventually,
16:48they leave.
16:52Oh,
16:52it's just all on me now.
16:54Oh, yeah,
16:54every move you make
16:55is fraught with peril.
16:57Is this gonna be
16:57the one that scars
16:58them for life?
16:59And in my case,
17:01the answer
17:01was always yes.
17:05Well,
17:06it's just a lot
17:07of pressure
17:07and sometimes
17:11I don't know.
17:14Did you ever
17:15take those?
17:15No, no.
17:16I threw them
17:16right in the trash.
17:17It's fine.
17:18There's just a lot
17:19going on right now.
17:20But it's more
17:21than that, right?
17:23You were talking
17:24to me about nightmares.
17:25I know what I said.
17:29Look,
17:30if
17:32if you had
17:33something wrong
17:34with your heart
17:34and I gave you
17:35some medicine,
17:36you would take it.
17:37So why wouldn't
17:38you do the same
17:39with this?
17:40Yeah.
17:43But to be fair,
17:44I probably wouldn't
17:45take that heart
17:45crap either.
17:47I mean,
17:48as a nurse,
17:48I would totally
17:49recommend it,
17:49but as a Cuban,
17:50I suffer in silence.
17:53A silent Cuban?
17:54Hey,
17:55I'd like to meet
17:56one of those.
18:04She's a teenager,
18:06right?
18:06Right.
18:07At least I'm safe
18:07for another year
18:08with the little one.
18:10Oh,
18:11your phone
18:11telling you things.
18:12Oh, yeah.
18:14Alex ordered
18:14some sneakers
18:15for school.
18:16I get an alert
18:16every time
18:17a package is delivered.
18:22How many feet
18:23does that kid have?
18:27Hey,
18:28so for the kinses,
18:29is there any way
18:30I could get
18:30a plus three?
18:32Currently in a bit
18:33of a lady juggling
18:35situation.
18:37No.
18:38I promised you
18:39to Consuelo.
18:40Now she
18:41has a good mustache.
18:46Just kidding.
18:49It's not that good.
18:54Alex.
18:56Alex!
18:57He can't hear you.
18:59He is possessed
19:00by the Jew-Tube.
19:05I can explain.
19:06Really?
19:08You can explain
19:09how one pair
19:09of sneakers
19:10magically became five?
19:11Because that is
19:12some Jesus crap
19:13right there.
19:17Sorry I said
19:18Jesus so close
19:19to the word crap.
19:23Mom,
19:24this family's
19:25been through a lot
19:26and I felt like
19:27I needed to provide
19:29because I'm the man
19:30of the house now.
19:33that's why you bought
19:34five pairs of sneakers?
19:35That's why I bought
19:36no pairs of sneakers.
19:37Oh,
19:38he's into magic now?
19:40Can I be your assistant?
19:42No,
19:43I will become
19:43the focus.
19:47Free returns, Mom.
19:49I can order
19:49any pair I want,
19:51wear them a couple times.
19:51As long as I keep
19:53them clean,
19:53I can send them
19:54right back.
19:55I know you want
19:55to be mad,
19:56but that's genius.
19:58No,
19:58it's not.
19:59Alex,
20:00there's no way
20:00you can keep
20:01all these sneakers
20:01clean enough
20:02to send back.
20:03Oh, no?
20:05Oh,
20:05so it's six pairs
20:06of shoes?
20:07Okay,
20:07what about the bottoms?
20:08You've been
20:08walking around
20:09all day.
20:12you're right,
20:13Mom.
20:22I mean,
20:23you gotta get him
20:24on Shark Tank
20:24or something.
20:27No,
20:27no,
20:28this ends now.
20:29It's like you're stealing.
20:30Exactly.
20:31It's like I'm stealing.
20:33No,
20:33you're not charming
20:34your way out of this.
20:35I said one new pair.
20:36You disobeyed me.
20:37Now you get
20:38no new pairs.
20:39No,
20:39you know what?
20:40Now you get
20:41Elena's old sparkly ones.
20:43With the multicultural princesses?
20:46No.
20:48Lucky for you,
20:49she never wore them
20:49because they were
20:50too gender specific.
20:52She did like
20:53that they were diverse.
20:55I'm not wearing those.
20:57I still don't understand
20:58why I can't buy these.
21:00Don't you have more money
21:01now that Papi's gone?
21:02What?
21:03What?
21:03Well, you have a job.
21:04Plus,
21:05Papi gives you money,
21:06right?
21:06So that's like
21:07double money.
21:11Sit down.
21:13Let me talk to him.
21:14Hey, little man.
21:15Ouch!
21:15Okay.
21:19Yes,
21:20your Papi gives me money,
21:21but it's for the basics,
21:22and it's not a lot.
21:24But he's absolutely
21:25doing his best,
21:25and he will always
21:26be your Papi.
21:27But make no mistake,
21:29when it comes to money,
21:31I'm your daddy.
21:34Tomorrow,
21:35these all go back.
21:39Everything okay?
21:40No.
21:41I need you to sign my test.
21:42Yes, everything is fine.
21:43At least you're
21:43talking to me now.
21:46Says you got a D.
21:48I know.
21:49This is social studies.
21:50You love this.
21:51Yeah.
21:53I guess I didn't try
21:54because I don't need
21:55an education
21:56now that I'm gonna be chattel.
21:59And without schoolwork,
22:01I have more time
22:01to plan my magical
22:02kinses, so...
22:06Hi.
22:07Okay.
22:08Enough.
22:09Yes.
22:10You keep that up,
22:11and you will not
22:12have a kinses.
22:14Wait.
22:19I can't believe you.
22:20You know how hard
22:21I bust my ass
22:23by myself
22:23to send you
22:24to that school
22:25so that you can have
22:25more opportunities
22:26than I did.
22:27Then you pull this crap?
22:29I can't even look
22:30at you right now.
22:30Just go to your room.
22:34You keep saying
22:35that you want me
22:37to be this strong,
22:38independent woman
22:39like you.
22:40And then when I tell you
22:41that I don't want
22:42to be a part of something
22:42that I think
22:43is a misogynist,
22:44cultural ritual,
22:45you tell me
22:46to shut up.
22:46Do it anyway.
22:48So which is it, Mom?
22:56Lupita, are you okay?
23:04Oh, you're like me.
23:06You get upset,
23:07and you clean.
23:12Wait, wait a minute.
23:13Wait, what?
23:15What is that?
23:16It's an antidepressant
23:16that I'm going to be taking,
23:18so just deal with it.
23:19That is your answer?
23:21Drugs?
23:22Okay, open your mouth
23:23and spit it in my hand.
23:25I haven't even taken it yet.
23:28And it's okay, Mom.
23:29It's something that helps.
23:31But do you even see
23:32everything that's happening now?
23:33You don't need drugs.
23:35You need your husband.
23:36Oh, God.
23:37Stop it.
23:38Stop.
23:38Victor is not the answer.
23:40I know you didn't want him
23:41to go back to Afghanistan,
23:43but he's making money.
23:44He's being a good provider.
23:46There are jobs here
23:47where they don't shoot at you.
23:48We live in America.
23:49Name one.
23:52It's not just the job,
23:53and you know that.
23:54It's not like he cheesed on you.
23:56It's not the only thing
23:57that matters.
23:57We are Cuban.
23:58We don't get divorced.
24:00We die.
24:03Don't you think I miss him?
24:07You think I like being alone?
24:10I wanted to do this with somebody.
24:12That was the plan.
24:14Family dinners and inside jokes,
24:15and one of the kids
24:16says something cute
24:17and you share a look.
24:18And even right now,
24:19to be able to say,
24:20okay, they're insane.
24:22We're not.
24:24A partner.
24:27Someone to love.
24:28Someone.
24:31Someone in your bed.
24:34You know, since Victor's gone,
24:36I don't sleep.
24:37Because he used to spoon me to sleep.
24:39So yeah, Mom.
24:41I miss the good stuff.
24:44Sometimes you just need somebody
24:45to give you a hug
24:46and say, I got you.
24:56I meant a man.
25:01I am very strong.
25:03I've been doing my yoga.
25:07I got you.
25:24Hey, the ladies be looking at your feet.
25:28Something's wrong.
25:28Am I right?
25:33I'm sorry.
25:34Nah, I think I can make these work.
25:38Or, I noticed you bought a pair
25:40for under 40 bucks,
25:41which means you did the right thing
25:42before you did the many, many wrong things.
25:45Really?
25:46Oh, thank you.
25:47I was trying to be brave,
25:49but even the nuns
25:50would have made fun of me.
25:53Listen, you don't have to worry
25:54about being the man of the house.
25:56First of all, we don't have a house,
25:57so there's that.
25:59You just be a 12-year-old boy, okay?
26:02Okay.
26:03And you're right.
26:04I shouldn't worry too much
26:05about what's going on down here
26:06when I got so much going on up here.
26:10Ah.
26:13Puberty's gonna hit you like a train.
26:20Hey.
26:22Hello.
26:24So there's been a lot of yelling.
26:27Okay, it was mostly me.
26:31But I hear you,
26:32and you don't have to have a quince.
26:34Oh, thank you.
26:35Thank you, thank you, thank you.
26:36And this is not because of that crap
26:38you pulled with the test.
26:39You do that again,
26:40and I'll put my quince's tiara on you
26:41while you sleep
26:42and post it to your Instagram.
26:43Don't test me.
26:46Okay.
26:49Look, I get the whole misogynist thing.
26:51I do.
26:52But I hate to tell you
26:53lots of good stuff
26:54that started for dumb man reasons.
26:57You like marriage used to be
26:59a way to pay off debts.
27:01Plus, women were being raped everywhere,
27:02so you'd marry your daughter
27:03off to some guy and say,
27:04okay, he owns her now.
27:05No raping this one.
27:11My point is we've made progress.
27:14I didn't know you were such a feminist, Mom.
27:17I can assemble a rifle in 13 seconds.
27:20I'm a total badass.
27:21How are you missing this?
27:23I'm sorry.
27:24It's just a lot of times
27:26you sound like a mom.
27:27Yeah, well, I am one.
27:31And there is a part of me
27:32that buys into that cheesy,
27:33my little girl is becoming a woman thing
27:36because you're not a little girl anymore.
27:40That is super weird.
27:48I'm being honest with myself.
27:49I was making your keensis about me.
27:53I guess I wanted people to show up
27:55and say, look at the amazing single mom
27:57pulling it all together by herself.
28:01It was dumb.
28:06It's not dumb.
28:08They're dumb.
28:09Who?
28:10The people.
28:11No, there's no people.
28:12That's just a thing that I said.
28:16No, I'll do it.
28:18All I wanted was a good reason why
28:20and you just gave me one.
28:22Oh, yeah, really?
28:25That is so great.
28:26Well, we'll do the whole thing.
28:28The ceremony, the stupid waltz.
28:29We're gonna show them
28:30what single mothers can pull off.
28:32I will dress like a child bride for you, Mom.
28:38Okay, now I feel like
28:40I should talk you out of it.
28:42But I won't.
28:43I won't.
28:44Your abuelita, she can be a broken record,
28:46but she taught me life can be tough.
28:48So when you get something to celebrate,
28:50you take it.
28:51Then take photos.
28:53Photos I'll use to scare your children.
28:56Oh, I'm not having children.
28:59Not today.
29:24Move over.
29:25What?
29:27What are you doing here?
29:29I'm going to spoon you.
29:31Oh, yes.
29:33Mommy, no!
29:35Okay.
29:36Shh.
29:36Oh, you're gonna like this.
29:38It's very nice.
29:39Oh, yes.
29:40See?
29:41See?
29:42Oh.
29:42It's very nice.
29:43Oh, no.
29:44Oh, no.
29:53Hmm.
30:42We'll see you next time.
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