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00:00The following program contains strong language and explicit content.
00:03Listener discretion is advised.
00:08Dave and Chuck the Freak, uncut.
00:20Who hired the AI Nickelback to introduce us for this one?
00:23Listen, it's random, okay?
00:25It sounds cool.
00:26It's random, it's one of Al's favorites.
00:28I made it today.
00:30It's artificial Nickelback.
00:31It was a little under the gun.
00:33Sounds good.
00:35Yeah!
00:36Hey, we're back with the fifth Dave and Chuck uncut podcast and video
00:42where you get to watch and hear us talk with no rules or restrictions.
00:46It's all brought to you by Northwestern Tech, the skilled trade school that works.
00:51Coming up on today's edition of Uncut.
00:55What dark-sided way did a guy choose to fuck himself up?
00:59Uncum!
01:01Jesus.
01:03Can swearing make you physically stronger?
01:06He's cock!
01:07And is there finally cock-enlarging surgery that really works?
01:12Oh my God, please.
01:14My God, please.
01:15I need a bigger cock.
01:16That is all coming up.
01:19Plus, at the end, a very special surprise announcement.
01:24Oh no.
01:24Oh God, don't spring something.
01:26What's that all about?
01:27Don't spring something on me.
01:28Stay tuned!
01:29I can't fucking handle it.
01:30I don't even want to do this.
01:31I don't want to be here.
01:32It's coming up.
01:33I don't want to do any of this.
01:36What are we doing?
01:36Warning.
01:37Dave and Chuck the Freak are going dark-sided.
01:40Everything's ungodly!
01:42Dark-sided!
01:45This is almost, I think, as dark as we've ever gone.
01:49Oh, great.
01:50The darkest.
01:51The darkest we've ever gone.
01:52Nice.
01:53Let's see.
01:54And it's all thanks to the new guy, Stinky Ryan!
01:56Oh, it's his fault!
01:59Oh, you're fucked.
02:01What did you do?
02:02What did he do?
02:03A 35-year-old guy named Andrea Russo.
02:07Oh, yeah.
02:08Just snuck past security at Bergamo Airport in Italy.
02:13Okay.
02:14He ran straight into the engine of a plane that was about to take off.
02:21for Spain.
02:22Oh, man.
02:23What is this?
02:23People are doing this now.
02:25Why are they doing this?
02:28And there's video.
02:29There's video, Ryan!
02:31Oh, yeah.
02:32What did you do?
02:34No, I've seen this.
02:37You have?
02:38He sounded a little bit like the emperor when he laughed.
02:40Yeah, he's enjoying it a little too much.
02:42Oh, my God.
02:43That's crazy.
02:45He dies instantly.
02:47Well, sure, because he...
02:49The plane was damaged.
02:51Yeah.
02:52Well, yeah.
02:53The plane was damaged.
02:55It gets damaged when a bird goes in there.
02:57Yeah.
03:01The airport had to stop operations for a while.
03:04Are you ready to see a man die?
03:06Fuck yeah.
03:07Yeah, I've seen it.
03:08Oh, my God.
03:08Calm down.
03:10Holy shit.
03:11He loves this shit.
03:12Dude, relax.
03:12I love it so much.
03:13He does.
03:14He does.
03:14It's the best.
03:14Fuck yeah.
03:15Fuck yeah.
03:16No.
03:16America.
03:17Just wait.
03:18Here we go.
03:18It's not what you think.
03:21He's like, oh, yeah.
03:23He's like a total moron there.
03:26And then they don't expect this to fucking happen.
03:30Oh, no.
03:32Oh, man.
03:34Right back out.
03:35Right back out.
03:36That's not good.
03:37It's not as graphic as I hoped for.
03:39No.
03:39He has a blood splatter.
03:40They blurred it.
03:42We did see his ass.
03:43I've seen it.
03:44Did you see his ass?
03:45Where did you see his ass?
03:46Right there.
03:47Was it right or no?
03:48No, he's got...
03:48Oh, maybe.
03:49Yes.
03:49That might be a little bit.
03:50Yeah, right.
03:51I noticed that right away.
03:52Like a final moon.
03:53Yeah.
03:54One final moon.
03:55Deadly moon.
03:56And then...
03:56It's like, you know, I'm jumping here!
04:00Good night, nurse.
04:01Good night.
04:02I've seen the birds go in and the feathers go flying and everything.
04:06You wanted to see more?
04:07Yeah.
04:07You're disappointed.
04:09Yeah.
04:09I can't really see the back end because it's on the other side of the plane.
04:11You can't see him.
04:12No, he didn't see his parts.
04:14Look at the ground crew all react.
04:16Oh, my God.
04:16Yeah, they saw, like, his head and everything go through the blades.
04:19Yeah, they had normal reactions.
04:20Not like, fuck, yeah!
04:21Yeah!
04:23Kill that fuck!
04:24I want to see the good shit.
04:25Blood splatter.
04:26Yeah, like, I think his heart.
04:27His arm came out first.
04:29Does the plane say, I'll be home for dinner?
04:31What?
04:32Yes, that's their slogan.
04:34No, you won't!
04:36You won't!
04:37No, you won't!
04:38No, you won't!
04:39Dinner served on the ground for vultures.
04:42Lisa sees the craziest shit.
04:44She does.
04:44She saw his ass crack and their slogan.
04:46She's like, guys, you're missing the biggest parts of this whole story.
04:49Yes, a man was grounded to death.
04:51His fucking head is just totally destroyed.
04:54But I'll tell you this.
04:55Have you seen the slogan of this plane?
04:58The slogan is, I'll be home for dinner.
05:01Which is fucking nuts.
05:03Have you seen...
05:04Did you see his asshole?
05:06His whole asshole is out.
05:10His whole asshole's out.
05:11When he jumps against the engine that he...
05:13I don't know what he was doing, but...
05:16His asshole was out and then he just fucking leaped right into instant death.
05:22So...
05:23Well...
05:24He won't be coming home for dinner.
05:26You can blame Stinky Ryan for that.
05:28I was more impressed, too.
05:29How high are those engines?
05:31How high is he jumping?
05:34It's like a knee high.
05:35If I don't make it, I will go.
05:37You're going to miss it?
05:38He might not have the vertical that...
05:41You're going to jump up and miss it?
05:43You guys come and help me real quick?
05:44Hold on.
05:45Somebody get my foot.
05:46Give him a boost.
05:47Give him a boost.
05:47You want us to put you in the engine.
05:49Okay.
05:50This guy in the orange missed all of it.
05:52Oh, he did jump up.
05:52Because he's out of breath.
05:53Oh, yeah, that's right.
05:54He didn't see a piece of it.
05:56If you let it go just a tiny bit, I think you see his fucking arm come off.
06:01Okay.
06:02Jesus, God.
06:03Is there audio?
06:04You saw it?
06:06Yeah.
06:06Because it's probably...
06:07Like, when you stick something in a fan, it's like...
06:09I don't...
06:10I don't...
06:10Oh.
06:12There is one.
06:12No, it's just creepy music.
06:14Yeah.
06:15I think it's both.
06:18Oh, that guy's reaction, yeah.
06:20His arm, for sure, comes off.
06:23What did I just see?
06:24Yeah.
06:25Well, you can't...
06:26I love a long fuck, by the way.
06:28Fuck!
06:30Fuck!
06:33Fuck!
06:33Nothing better than a long fuck.
06:34Nothing better than a long fuck.
06:36That's true on many different...
06:39Yes.
06:40Many different occasions.
06:41Lots of different levels.
06:42Yeah, for some reason, I don't know why, if the...
06:45If this is, like, from a news site or what, like, it's blurred, so it's...
06:50Well, they can't just show...
06:52No, but there are places that'll fucking show you whatever, and I feel like he came shooting
06:58out the back a bit.
06:59Especially on X.
07:01Yeah.
07:01They'll just show you straight up death.
07:02Yeah, you're right.
07:03X will show you everything.
07:04Or maybe it cut him off before he went in.
07:06Like, the arm maybe didn't make it all the way into the jet.
07:08Yeah.
07:09I mean, it was...
07:09Sorry, next time I'll get the raw video of the guy jumping into it.
07:13It's fine.
07:14Do fucking better, okay?
07:16Do a little bit fucking better.
07:18Always get the raw.
07:20Extra stinky today.
07:23Yeah.
07:24No, that's...
07:24Well, that's how we started.
07:26We're off to a start.
07:26Today's edition.
07:27We're off to a start of Dave and Chuck the Freak Uncut.
07:30All right.
07:31I think there's not many places where you can call a co-worker a lazy cunt and get
07:36away with it.
07:37No.
07:38Not here, anyway.
07:39No, I don't...
07:40Well, I think we could get away with it.
07:42I don't think there's anyone to tell.
07:44No, no, not here, but like in the U.S.
07:46Oh, you're so...
07:47Like over in the U.K., you could probably say it.
07:49Oh, you're right.
07:50This is in the U.K., and she did not get away with it.
07:52Oh, okay.
07:53A disciplinary panel has taken a nurse, Kate Sullivan, off their roster of mental health nurses.
07:59Oh.
08:00Due to behavior, they found to be unprofessional.
08:03Wow.
08:03Seems like Sullivan was having a relationship with a colleague, and they didn't disclose
08:07it.
08:08Hmm.
08:08And even though she'd been promoted to the manager, during breaks, she and that co-worker
08:15would go have a long phone.
08:18Oh, wow.
08:20Wow.
08:21And even have loud sex on the premises.
08:23Who's fucking in here?
08:25I can hear them fucking.
08:27And then, when someone tried to call her out for it, she called that co-worker a lazy
08:32cunt, and they finally said, all right, we've got to move on from her.
08:36Well, it might have been more than just the lazy cunt thing.
08:38It could have been all the fucking and...
08:40Well, a bit of the fucking and a bit of the cunt.
08:43A lot of screaming and...
08:45All that combined.
08:46Yeah.
08:47Fuck some cunts will do it.
08:48Yeah.
08:48Absolutely.
08:48All the orgasm noises.
08:51Is there...
08:52Okay, so that is like, in our opinion, the worst thing you can call a woman is a cunt.
08:56Mm-hmm.
08:56Yeah.
08:57What's the male equivalent of cunt?
08:59I don't know.
09:00Is there one?
09:01I can't.
09:01No, I can't.
09:02I mean, I don't...
09:02I don't think I can say it, even on this.
09:05I have a word, too.
09:06I don't think I can say it, even on this.
09:08Really?
09:09It's out there.
09:10It's more of a slur?
09:11It's out there, and it is a slur.
09:13Oh, okay.
09:13No, you can't say that.
09:14It's not cocksucker?
09:14I can't say that C word.
09:16No, that's not what I'm thinking.
09:17No.
09:17I can't say the C word, even on this uncut podcast.
09:21You can't say cunt?
09:21No, I won't.
09:22No, she's not doing it.
09:24I don't like that word.
09:24She said fuck.
09:25She won't.
09:29She won't say that.
09:31No.
09:31I get it.
09:32It's harsh.
09:33No, there's a few things.
09:34Okay, is it more of like a homosexual slur?
09:37I believe it is.
09:39That's more of what?
09:40That's the cunt?
09:42The male version of cunt?
09:43I think so.
09:44To me, I feel like it is.
09:45Okay, so you take that out of it.
09:46Is there another swear word you could say?
09:50I don't think that hits like that, right?
09:52Yeah, nothing hits like that.
09:54I don't think.
09:54Yeah, nothing that hits like that.
09:57Let's see if the...
09:58It's a strong one.
10:00There's no male equivalent.
10:02No.
10:03Dick, prick, cocksucker, cuck.
10:05Just doesn't...
10:05Motherfucker, bitch.
10:07Yeah, no.
10:08Doesn't hit the same.
10:09It really doesn't.
10:10I think bitch in prison is like the worst thing you can call a guy.
10:13I mean, yeah, because that means that I allow people to fuck me.
10:18Is it just because we've heard motherfuckers and cocksuckers our whole life?
10:23Like, I never heard cunt ever.
10:26I'm like desensitized to the other ones.
10:28My friends could...
10:30I could be blissful, blissfully called a cocksucker by my friends, and I'd laugh and laugh and laugh.
10:36Actually, all of it, really.
10:37Right, yeah.
10:37Even all of the other stuff.
10:39I would just laugh.
10:41And I don't know.
10:42We're come from a different time.
10:44And even if...
10:45I mean, I don't know.
10:47It would all depend.
10:48It'd have to be a stranger.
10:50A stranger to call me something.
10:54But even if a stranger called me a cunt, I think I would almost respect him.
11:00A lot of this...
11:01Where are you from?
11:02Right.
11:03Why do you call me that?
11:04Yeah.
11:04What did I do?
11:05It's saying dick is cunt for men.
11:07Because basically cunt is...
11:09Oh, yeah.
11:09Right.
11:10A lady bits.
11:10Oh, yeah, but being called a dick is nothing.
11:13It's nothing.
11:13It does not.
11:14To me, it's like way less of an insult.
11:17There'd have to be like an even worse...
11:19Worse word for dick.
11:22We'd have to come up with a whole new like...
11:25Oh, my God.
11:26Word for penis.
11:28Like, what is there?
11:29There is nothing.
11:31There's nothing.
11:32Cock is about as bad as it gets.
11:35Willie Johnson?
11:36No, none of that has any bite.
11:39Yeah, you're right.
11:40I don't think there's nothing as shocking as calling someone cunt.
11:44Right.
11:45For the male.
11:45I don't think so.
11:46I mean, cock sucker hits.
11:48If a stranger was like, you cock sucker.
11:50It would get me.
11:52I guess, I guess.
11:53It would get me.
11:54It depends who's saying it.
11:55As a friend saying it like you said, you'd laugh.
11:57Yes.
11:57But if a stranger on the street yelled that at you, Chuck, you cock sucker.
12:01Well, that one...
12:04Well, that one man, he tried to make out with you.
12:07Yeah.
12:07He didn't call him.
12:08Oh, it's true.
12:08I blew him.
12:09He just tried to suck your cock.
12:10Yeah.
12:11I let him.
12:14Just a thought.
12:15Yeah, I don't think so.
12:17I think, like, honestly, like, cunt is just as bad.
12:21It's about as bad as you can call us to, you know.
12:25But only here it's bad, right?
12:26Right.
12:26Over there, it's like, what's up, cunt?
12:28It's used all the time.
12:29Dave's uncles and everything.
12:31They call each other cunts all the time.
12:32That's just another word, right?
12:33Yeah, we cunt.
12:34Yeah, that's it.
12:34You dirty, we cunt.
12:36Honestly, it's just not as much of an insult.
12:38It's not a big deal.
12:39And it doesn't take on the same meaning.
12:40No, and it can also mean, like, friend.
12:44It can mean, like, friend, pal.
12:46I thought we bastard cunt have known him since I was 12.
12:49Oh, yeah.
12:49But if you're here and you hear it at a bar, you hear somebody, like, you cunt.
12:53You're like, ho, ho, ho, shut back up.
12:55Yeah.
12:55Here we go.
12:55Like, where are the chairs?
12:57Give me a chair, quick.
12:59What is this swear word that you find you say most often?
13:03I realized mine just yesterday because in the car, every day someone does something stupid.
13:11And every time, I didn't realize it until Amber pointed it out to me, I go, fuck an idiot.
13:17Oh, yeah.
13:17Every single time.
13:19I think that I say that a lot, too.
13:19Fuck an idiot.
13:21Especially in the car.
13:22I mean, I just know that I just say fuck all the time.
13:25That's got to be the most.
13:27That's all the time.
13:28Every time I can say it, really.
13:30Yeah, I use it as, like, placeholders in conversations when I can't think.
13:33And fuck, what was I going to say?
13:36Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck.
13:37What is it?
13:37I was going to the store and then, oh, fuck.
13:38What happened?
13:39Just a comma.
13:40It's a comma.
13:41It's an um.
13:42But it's a good thing.
13:43They say swearing can actually make you physically stronger.
13:48They say it's a calorie-neutral, drug-free, low-cost, readily available tool when we need
13:54a boost in performance.
13:55Come, liquor!
13:57Oh, my God.
13:57Look how fast he just moved.
14:00In this experiment, the participants performed a chair push-up, supporting their body weight
14:06on their arms.
14:07I'm not doing that.
14:08While repeating a swear word or a non-swear word every two seconds.
14:14Try it.
14:15The people that swore were physically stronger.
14:21Chuck, you're not.
14:21You're going to have a heart attack.
14:23You can't do it.
14:23Applesauce!
14:24No, okay.
14:25Cunt!
14:25Oh, look how much stronger.
14:27Fuck!
14:27Yeah!
14:29Cocksucker!
14:30Yes!
14:31Motherfucker!
14:32All right!
14:33Dick, lick, and cunt!
14:34Two more!
14:35Suck my fucking balls!
14:37Oh, God!
14:37Lick my fucking asshole much!
14:40Too much.
14:40Eat my balls!
14:41Oh, my God!
14:42How many do you need me to do here?
14:44That's enough.
14:45That's enough.
14:45That's enough.
14:46Please stop.
14:46Oh, those elbows were shaking.
14:48You know, it's going to come again.
14:49It's everything I got.
14:51That's all I got.
14:53I was running out of swear words.
14:55If I would have said a normal word, I would have dropped.
14:59If I would have said, like, you know, grass or something.
15:02Duh.
15:03I'm wondering if that.
15:04Dead.
15:04Did applesauce make you feel anything?
15:07Don't do it again.
15:08Applesauce!
15:10Don't do it again!
15:11You're going to die!
15:11Don't do it again!
15:13Applesauce!
15:13Ryan's going to have to save you.
15:15Cocksucker!
15:15Oh, don't want it!
15:17Motherfucking!
15:17Cocksaking!
15:19Suck it!
15:20Look at those elbows!
15:21Fuck you, you motherfucker!
15:23I'm not very strong!
15:25Fuck!
15:26He's going to go down.
15:28Ooh!
15:29Oh, well.
15:30They say swearing is an easily available way to help yourself feel focused, confident,
15:35and less distracted, and go for it a little more.
15:37Are you okay?
15:38He's dead.
15:39No, he's dead.
15:39That's it.
15:40Fucking cocks!
15:41That's the last time you did that many push-ups.
15:43Oh, are you wearing your watch?
15:43It's not really a push-up.
15:44If you're not wearing your Apple watch, I would have went through the roof.
15:47No.
15:47Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
15:48I'm sure I've spiked.
15:49He calls the authorities.
15:51He's been in an accident.
15:52Glucose spike.
15:53Yeah.
15:53It can also increase pain tolerance and reduce perceptions of pain if you're swearing.
15:59Sure.
16:00I can say it, no.
16:02It didn't work.
16:03It's very sore.
16:05No, but did you, were you able to do more because you were?
16:08I mean, I don't know.
16:09I don't know how many I could really do.
16:11You haven't done that in a long time.
16:13I haven't done anything physical.
16:15Yeah.
16:16So, not many.
16:19I don't swear enough these days.
16:21Well, you got kids around.
16:23Well, it's the kids and then here.
16:24Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:25So, like, our job here, I don't.
16:26And then I'm with the kids and I don't.
16:28I almost have to, like, remind myself.
16:31Like, I can swear in certain situations.
16:34Swear around the kids?
16:35Shit.
16:37I was just going to ask you guys how you are in the house with the kids.
16:41It's full-blown.
16:42Like, I could call my son right now and he would just be like, what the fuck, dad?
16:48So, Stella doesn't care?
16:49Stella.
16:50Me?
16:51I thought she cares.
16:51She cares.
16:52Yeah.
16:53Mine never.
16:54I've never really sworn around them.
16:56And I'm still not, even though, like, one is 20 and one's 22, I'm still not cool hearing
17:02I don't think I said fuck in front of my mom until I was, like, 30.
17:06That was just anything else.
17:08But that word was the one that she didn't like for whatever reason.
17:11My dad was the scary one.
17:13I couldn't do it.
17:13My mom, I always was like, she'd be like, what are you doing this weekend?
17:17And I would say, like, I'm going to try and have anal sex.
17:22Such a great child.
17:24Such a great child.
17:24I would say that.
17:25Yeah, so you'd be like, oh, my God, Charlie.
17:27Now, in my house with Douglas, if I say fuck, he's like, whoa, something's wrong.
17:33Oh, he's like, there's problems.
17:35Mom said fuck.
17:36Because it's the tone probably, too.
17:38Yeah, because I'm upset about something.
17:39So that's the time, remember when my dad chopped through a wooden ladder to try and attack me?
17:47Because I used to, because he's hard of hearing, I was a little fucker.
17:50Like every teenager.
17:51I would swear at him, you know.
17:54I'm like, fuck you.
17:55Because he couldn't hear me.
17:57Oh, Tim.
17:59Damn.
18:00Because he couldn't hear me.
18:02He directed at him.
18:03What if he was like, fuck you, dad?
18:05He's like, you better go fucking, you better clean up the kitchen.
18:08Fuck you.
18:09Fuck you.
18:09But he'd never hear me, right?
18:11Because I'd look away from him, and if he wasn't looking at me, he'd never pick it up.
18:14But that one time I was super mad, and I got a little louder than normal.
18:18I was like, oh, fuck you.
18:20And that's when he chased me down the hall.
18:22Oh, yeah.
18:22I dove into the bottom bunk bed, and he came at me and karate chopped through a wooden ladder.
18:27There's no way I could have said, fuck you to my dad.
18:33I would have been.
18:34He would have.
18:37A ladder wouldn't have stopped him.
18:40Your dad showed some massive restraint not killing you.
18:43Well, he would have killed me if the ladder didn't get in the way.
18:45Well, that's true.
18:46The ladder is the only thing that stopped him.
18:48The ladder would have saved you.
18:48My dad would have killed me.
18:49Yeah.
18:50The only thing worse is if my dad would have been there, and I told my mom, fuck you.
18:56Ooh.
18:56Oh, yeah.
18:57Oh, yeah.
18:57That's bad.
18:58I never once swore at my mom.
19:00I only swore at her just to make her laugh.
19:03That was it.
19:04Oh, yeah.
19:04Maybe like that.
19:05Like, I never.
19:05Maybe like that.
19:06I just knew there were words.
19:07But not, like, actually meant it.
19:08She wasn't ready to hear from me.
19:10Chuck, you've been searching for decades for a penis enlargement procedure
19:15that actually worked.
19:16Still searching.
19:18Maybe we backtrack and go to Panama.
19:23Ba, ba, ba, ba.
19:25Panama.
19:27It's not really working now, is it?
19:29Apparently it's working, though.
19:31In case you don't know, the Panama is an FDA-cleared silicone implant
19:36designed to increase penile girth and flaccid length during a surgical procedure.
19:41It's placed under your skin in a 45-minute outpatient procedure.
19:47No.
19:47Most patients return to bang-in within four to six weeks.
19:53It's still really steep, though.
19:54Like, the price is steep.
19:56I know, but they're just wrapping it.
19:58Up to $18,000.
19:59I need you to grab it with, like, a bunch of giraffes or something and pull it.
20:03This doctor does it.
20:05This is a 59-year-old guy he's done it on.
20:08Okay.
20:08So be careful.
20:09You see his dick?
20:09You will see his cock.
20:10Wow.
20:11Here we go.
20:12There it is.
20:12Let's be ready.
20:13Oh, jeez.
20:15There's a bit of a cock.
20:17It would have taken me a long time to find it.
20:20Like, where's Walter?
20:21If you didn't point it out, my eyes did not go right to that.
20:24I went to the trees in the bed.
20:25Where's the men's?
20:26Oh, I went just to the guy.
20:27Yeah.
20:28Where's the men's cock?
20:29Hi, gentlemen.
20:30I have an amazing patient.
20:31He's 59 years old.
20:33He had surgery about October of 2023, which is about a year and two months ago.
20:39He is looking unbelievable.
20:41I love his result.
20:43He did have a bleeding episode after running, which we resolved with evacuating.
20:50We are just going to let that.
20:52Why would he even bring up cock bleeding?
20:54Well, you got to be honest.
20:55I need to know the ups and the downs if I'm going to have this done.
20:59Tuition of hematoma, and it has beautifully healed.
21:02I want to show you the more long-term result of a patient.
21:06Let's take a look.
21:07So, he looks like a monster.
21:11He has an unbelievable seven-inch flaccid penis.
21:16And I'm going to show you his befores.
21:19But what's really impressive is his girth.
21:22You take his before?
21:24I'll take his before like right now.
21:26He has seven and a half inches of flaccid girth.
21:29And he expressed to me that he's almost seven and a half inches of erect girth.
21:34And as you can see, he's manhandling him.
21:41It's a tight end.
21:43Okay, relax.
21:45He's not jerking him off.
21:47He is.
21:47He's like this.
21:48I love his result.
21:49Oh, oh, oh.
21:50I love his result.
21:52His anatomy, his penis is very impressive.
21:56Does his head look?
21:57His head.
21:58And this is what I've said about this surgery all the time.
22:02But it doesn't look like it's like shriveled.
22:05Like it's drying out.
22:06Well, because his head was the size for his normal penis.
22:09Then they put like an armored suit on his shaft.
22:13And now his head looks small.
22:16His shaft has like some kind of weird thing around it.
22:20But he already was, his before was like five soft.
22:26It's like a football player with their helmet off.
22:29But he's one of those showers, right?
22:32Where his, like when he gets hard, it's pretty much the same size from the sounds of it.
22:37I guess.
22:38Yeah.
22:38Because he's also quite hard just by being manipulated by this man.
22:42The head and the shaft interaction are very good.
22:47He has excellent mobility of the implant.
22:51And it's feeling well.
22:52Almost invisible incision.
22:54So tell me about your sexual experience.
22:57Has it improved your sex life?
23:00And your wife is happy?
23:02Yeah, she's happy.
23:03Perfect.
23:05Thank you so much for being here.
23:07And we'll be in touch.
23:08Oh, don't shake my hand after you just handled my cock like that.
23:12It's your cock.
23:12I know, but still, I'd like to.
23:14No, I got to wash up.
23:16You don't know where my cock has been.
23:18So they say they wanted to get years of kind of, you know, research with people that have had this.
23:26And it's looking pretty good.
23:27It's not, though.
23:29I mean, if I got this suit of armor on, you guys would be like, oh, boy.
23:34Wow.
23:34That's so tragic.
23:36You'll gain, on average, an inch and a half of flaccid length and 1.3 inches in girth.
23:42That's the average increase.
23:43So the two things they talk about are the two things that don't matter one bit.
23:48Well, I mean, like girth, I could see girth mattering.
23:52But realistically, you talk about flaccid shit.
23:55None of that shit matters.
23:56It really doesn't.
23:58It's just, oh, okay, yeah.
24:00Like, my suit of armor doesn't go down, so my penis can't retract all the way in the way it
24:05wants to go back to his home, his home inside me.
24:09That was crazy to watch with his penis.
24:11His home inside me.
24:12I mean, he got aroused, for sure.
24:14You think he was aroused?
24:15I think he fired it up himself.
24:16He got to, he was at least half, like, halfway there.
24:20You don't think that's what the Panama does?
24:22Make you look like you've got a chum all the time?
24:24Yeah, I think once the doctor touched him, it grew.
24:28I felt like we shouldn't have been there.
24:29You know, like, he needed to be alone.
24:31He was wrestling that cock.
24:33He was.
24:34Especially when he pulled it side to side there.
24:37Look at how durable it is, too.
24:39I know.
24:40I can rip his cock.
24:42He does have the Hitler abuse.
24:44It is the Hitler abuse.
24:44Just a little bit above the cock.
24:45What is the deal with that?
24:47It is.
24:48It's like a little Hitler stash right on top.
24:50He was showing off because he knew he was going to be on camera.
24:52I know.
24:52That's a 59-year-old guy who's got.
24:54I doubt it.
24:55That is a good little joke.
24:57When it gets hard.
24:59He's got the stash.
25:01Yeah.
25:02That's crazy.
25:03That is.
25:04Oh, boy.
25:06Well, that's just for me.
25:08Okay.
25:09All right, Jason.
25:10Disgracious.
25:11Hitler jokes.
25:14Anyway.
25:15Uncut.
25:15It is.
25:16Uncut.
25:16Uncut.
25:17Uncut Hitler.
25:18It is, they say, the most reliable.
25:22It's the only thing that kind of works because it gives you some girth and it doesn't allow
25:28your penis to retract.
25:30And it's not an injection that you have to then get done again.
25:32But if I am for going into this, I'm for coming out of this.
25:38And maybe I'm more like a soup can after, which I guess some guys would be like, that's fine.
25:45But to me, I wouldn't want it to look, like you said, like a football player with his helmet
25:50off.
25:50Right.
25:51Huge shoulder pads.
25:52And then all of a sudden, tiny little head.
25:53Right.
25:54It's got to be proportionate.
25:55No.
25:55And that's what you got from seeing him there.
26:00Yeah, I think this guy was right about to.
26:03Oh, my God, Chuck.
26:04He has a lot of subscribers, that doctor.
26:07Oh, yeah, he does.
26:08Well, it means a lot.
26:10And that, because he gets away with showing cocks on YouTube.
26:13Oh, that's true.
26:15I should start a cock cast.
26:16Is that all he does?
26:18It's all he shows on his channel?
26:20Those are his.
26:20Oh, my God.
26:21He jerks a lot of dudes.
26:22He loves touching cock.
26:24On video.
26:26He does.
26:26He had the implant about two and a half years ago.
26:31And he also had a lipo 360.
26:34I made him a six pack.
26:35He's already a very athletic guy, but he wanted to get rid of the fat over the love hand.
26:40If I examine you real quick.
26:42Yeah.
26:42So, listen.
26:43Here we go.
26:45So, that's a bad example.
26:46That's terrible.
26:47Thick, shaft, tiny head.
26:49Yeah.
26:49Half-filled water balloon.
26:50It's been, what, three years, two and a half years?
26:53Oh, no, no, guys.
26:54And you have filled off.
26:57So, he did it once, and it kind of worked.
27:01He did it one time.
27:02This muscle-bound guy, it looks like ass.
27:06Look, when he stretches the head out, it doesn't look right.
27:08It's not.
27:09See, this is it.
27:10I mean.
27:10What are you doing, man?
27:11He loves to give you a tickle.
27:14He loves to get right underneath firing these guys up.
27:18This is Bourne.
27:19He is.
27:20He probably gave them all a little bit of, like, Cialis before this, and then he's like,
27:24listen, I'm going to.
27:25He likes them.
27:26He does.
27:27He can't help it.
27:28Checking it out.
27:28He was.
27:29He just turned around, and he just, like, God, I love that.
27:32Cialis sucked egg.
27:34He is shit.
27:35He is shit.
27:36He is.
27:36Give me another one of this guy.
27:38You want more?
27:39I want to see if he, is he really.
27:42Okay.
27:43This is another one here.
27:44Is this the one we just watched?
27:45No, this is a different one.
27:46All right.
27:4659 years old, seven inches.
27:48Who has the gun?
27:49This is the Hitler.
27:51It is Hitler's back.
27:53He keeps bringing him back.
27:55He likes that guy's cock.
27:56Far left.
27:57Oh, any of these.
27:58This one here.
27:58Let's see.
27:59This looks like a chubbier guy.
28:00Oh, this is great.
28:01This will hit home.
28:02Yeah, it is a chubbier guy.
28:03Beautiful gentleman who had the implant almost five months ago.
28:07He's uncircumcised, and it looks absolutely beautiful.
28:11Everything looks natural.
28:12He just pulled his skin right back.
28:13For those of you who wonder, oh, the implant is always stiff.
28:17No, it's not.
28:18After a few months, it becomes very soft.
28:21He's propellering his dick.
28:24He's fine.
28:24I mean, he's a doctor, but still.
28:26But still.
28:27He also, like, this is the thing.
28:29He says, oh, look, it's not stiff.
28:32And then he just rotates the bass around.
28:35But, like, we can all grab ours when it's, you know, flaccid,
28:40and we could bend the thing right in the middle and be fine.
28:43None of these guys can do that anymore.
28:45Give a thumbs up.
28:47He's like, nice.
28:48That's his finishing line.
28:49He does that after every video.
28:50Oh, so it's his signature move.
28:51And I bet you there's an ass slap as they leave.
28:54That was a nice cock.
28:58Yes.
28:58Anyway, it's out there.
29:00If guys need it, you'll just need to be rich.
29:02$16,000 to $18,000 for this surgery.
29:04To be totally honest, the Panama people are kind of geniuses that they float out this story
29:11every once in a while.
29:12Like, every.
29:13Hey, I don't know if you heard, but it works.
29:16And it's like every single time.
29:17No.
29:18It doesn't work.
29:19It's still the same, exact same shit.
29:22Speaking of handling dongs, as young men, I'm sure we handled our dongs a lot, handled
29:28them, watching Aerobicize.
29:30Oh, my God.
29:30One of my favorite TV shows of all time.
29:34In 1981, Aerobicize, this one, became the highest grossing workout video of all time because
29:41it was soft core porn, right?
29:43This was like.
29:45That's all you had back then.
29:47That is all you had.
29:48It was really.
29:49And it was on at like the jerk off hours.
29:52It was on.
29:54Okay.
29:54But was this on everywhere?
29:57Or was this just in Canada?
29:59This was the original.
30:00This was the original video.
30:02It got nominated and won a Cable Ace Award, which was big in the day.
30:06Okay.
30:06But like in show on Showtime in the early 80s, the Aerobicize came on between features.
30:13Okay.
30:14Because like we had the 20-minute workout in Canada.
30:1720-minute workout was way better than this because those chicks were sluts.
30:21Basically, they were eating each other out.
30:24The 20-minute workout was incredible.
30:28It was like, you know, like the curly wolf haircut chick and we're still watching.
30:35Here they are.
30:36There's the ladies.
30:37No, not them.
30:37These two get super close too, though.
30:39But yeah, that's nice.
30:40But no, I don't think that one.
30:42I don't know about that one.
30:44Well, isn't that one at risk?
30:46What?
30:47Oh, this is Espanol.
30:48I don't know if this is the one.
30:49Yes.
30:50Oh, wow.
30:52That is still the same one, though, but they must have translated it.
30:57It's kind of sad now looking at it, huh?
30:58It is.
30:59I mean, I pleasure myself many times to these, but now when you look back.
31:04Yeah.
31:04You promised us pussy-licking, Dave.
31:06It's not quite that.
31:08Where is it at?
31:09In my young brain, this was pussy-licking.
31:12Well, let's see.
31:13They had dip in your shoes.
31:15Whether you're a beginner or in great physical condition,
31:18the 20-minute workout is for you.
31:20Enjoy.
31:22Enjoy.
31:23Part of the fun is learning the movements of aerobics.
31:27Well, yeah.
31:27Well, it is, but hold on.
31:29There's so many times.
31:31This is, look.
31:32Four, three, six, seven, eight.
31:35They're getting banged in the ass.
31:35Just wait.
31:37There was, see, this one they have leggings on for some reason.
31:41Most times they didn't.
31:43Most times it was bare legs.
31:44It was just bare legs and like thongs.
31:49Yeah, there's another one.
31:50It's a good thing the internet came out.
31:51Peloton's the new version of this.
31:52Is it really?
31:53It is, isn't it?
31:53Oh, I know.
31:54A bunch of dudes who jerk it to Peloton chicks.
31:56Oh, yeah, I bet.
31:58Yeah, I bet.
31:58So they do the same kind of workout stuff.
32:00There it is.
32:00Oh, and the classic right there.
32:02The red, the red.
32:03And Bess and Lori.
32:05This is the trio that you needed.
32:13That haircut's back in a big way.
32:14Oh, is it?
32:15See this?
32:17See?
32:18And I.
32:18Getting pretty close to someone else's clam.
32:21Down.
32:23But little did we know that I didn't know this anyway.
32:26There was like a whole series of this.
32:28That started at the original Aerobosize we watched earlier.
32:31Okay.
32:31That then led to like all sorts of sizes.
32:36From like ski-a-size.
32:39Oh.
32:40To sex-er-size.
32:41Hmm?
32:42This is a little look back at some of the.
32:45Yes.
32:46Exercise or sizes that took off.
32:51I'm going to love this.
32:54See, this is Ski-er-size.
32:57The exercise film that gets you in shape for skiing.
33:01Each segment of Ski-er-size.
33:03Yes.
33:04Come on.
33:04Different facet of skiing.
33:06This is exactly how I look.
33:07Oh, and then there's the baby size.
33:09Can't do this to me.
33:11What the fuck?
33:13What the fuck are you doing?
33:14Jesus Christ, Gabe.
33:16What the fuck?
33:17I'm so sick, you fucking cunt.
33:19I didn't do it.
33:20Oh, you guys.
33:21Then on to tex-er-size.
33:24Come on.
33:25Let's tex-er-size.
33:27Oh, no.
33:27I love this thing.
33:29I've trolled you.
33:30Oh, my God.
33:31I got trolled.
33:33Elmo-size.
33:33No.
33:34What the fuck?
33:35Elmo-size.
33:36What have you done to me?
33:38You motherfucker.
33:40Mousers-ami.
33:41Mousers, get the fuck out of here.
33:44Welcome to fun-size with sunshine.
33:47Fun-sers-size.
33:49What the fuck is this?
33:52What the shit?
33:55I wanted-
33:56Is this what you guys used to watch?
33:58Oh, my God.
33:59I want to see a grandma's pussy right now.
34:02I don't.
34:03And then exhale.
34:04Oh, Jesus Christ.
34:06Oh, Dave.
34:08No, Dave.
34:09No, thank you, Dave.
34:11Protect your size.
34:13Look at that guy.
34:14Look at him.
34:15That's amazing.
34:16That was amazing.
34:17Self-defense training is hard work.
34:19Karate-size.
34:20Yeah, fuck yeah.
34:21Get the shit out of some people.
34:23Yeah.
34:24Ah.
34:26This is sexy.
34:28I was going to interrupt.
34:30Yeah.
34:31What are they about to-
34:32What are they doing?
34:33They're about to-
34:34Sex-or-size.
34:34There's sex in it.
34:35Oh, look at this gay guy.
34:38He's so sweaty.
34:40What the fuck is that?
34:42That gay guy.
34:43That gay guy was like, listen, I don't want you to get freaked out and shit, but I'm going
34:48to put my bare feet on yours, and we're just going to scissor kick a bit.
34:53But listen, even though I'm in a yellow thong, I don't want you to feel like there's any chance
34:59of anything ever happening, because there isn't, because I just want cocks in my backside
35:06and my mouth.
35:08We're safe here.
35:09I'm like, what the hell, Dave?
35:13Sex-or-size.
35:14Look at her face.
35:15Look at her face.
35:16Look at her face.
35:16I thought Helen was going to-
35:17It doesn't end up being her anyway, right?
35:20I know.
35:20It's so weird.
35:21Why?
35:21Where did she go?
35:22I don't know.
35:22There she is.
35:23There she is.
35:24I'm like, yeah, blonde, 80s chick.
35:26That's what we need.
35:27And then it's like, hello.
35:29Norm.
35:29Norm.
35:30Norm.
35:31Oh, my God.
35:34Look at Norm's taint.
35:35What's up with the focus on Norm's dick?
35:37They love it.
35:38Norm's taint.
35:38It was, you know?
35:40Because no straight men are watching this.
35:42It's women and gay guys.
35:44Or sex-or-size.
35:45Sex-or-size, probably.
35:47It all depends.
35:48The woman-
35:48Is that what you look like when you were doing your taint exercises at home?
35:51Absolutely.
35:53Exactly.
35:54I get all lubed up, too.
35:55You should try some of these.
35:57Like, please, oil me.
35:57Self-tan.
35:58You should ask the little lady to join you on the ground.
36:02Jason.
36:02Oil me and put me in a Speedo.
36:04Man, they really greased him up, huh?
36:07Hey, Dad.
36:07There was a Greaseman on that.
36:09What is the last?
36:11Oh, she's just saying thanks for...
36:12Oh, thanks for watching sex-or-size.
36:13Look, he's doing a little sex-or-size over there.
36:15Yeah, get it.
36:16Someone get on his feet.
36:17Fuck me.
36:19Crazy.
36:19Oh, my God.
36:22Oh, no.
36:23We were wild in the 80s and early 90s.
36:25Well, everyone was on so much cocaine and quaaludes.
36:29It was a certain time.
36:30I did try and find, like, a full-length sex-or-size video, but...
36:35Yeah.
36:35Not out there.
36:36It doesn't exist.
36:37We can make a better one.
36:39You gotta do the positions.
36:40What do you wanna do?
36:41Positions.
36:42That's the exercise.
36:43Oh, I see.
36:45Doggy.
36:45Yeah, yeah.
36:46Yeah, reverse cowgirls.
36:47Riding.
36:48Whatever that thing is.
36:48But their whole thing was they had to somehow make it an exercise routine.
36:53You know what I mean?
36:54Because it's sex-or-size.
36:55I know.
36:55That's what I mean.
36:56So they had to do a bunch of dumb shit, like, you know, scissor kicks.
36:59We could do this better, guys.
37:00Digital first.
37:01That's true.
37:02Oh, there we go.
37:03Content.
37:03Baby.
37:04Dave and Chuck's sex-or-size.
37:06No, it's okay.
37:07Why not?
37:08No, we're doing enough superstars.
37:09Get all lubed up, tanned up, oil.
37:10Let's not give all of our great ideas away yet.
37:13Come on now.
37:13Let's relax.
37:15I got, like, three pumps for you.
37:18Three pumps.
37:19It's not going to be a 20-minute workout.
37:21I can guarantee you that.
37:23I don't know if you guys remember, but we got into a kink discussion a while back, and
37:29we found a weird one, human carpets.
37:32Okay.
37:32This is when guys, for the most part, I believe, I don't think women are into this, roll themselves
37:38up in a carpet, and then you walk on them.
37:41Oh, yeah.
37:41Yeah.
37:41Yep.
37:42The one guy we talked about was this guy here, Kevin Carpet.
37:47How can I forget?
37:48Yes.
37:49It's impossible to forget.
37:50Kevin Carpet lies underneath carpets and lets people walk on him.
37:54But I found another one, and he's, in my opinion, even odder.
37:59His name is Giorgio.
38:02Okay.
38:03That's amazing.
38:04He's got your mustache, Chuck.
38:06What?
38:06And he wraps himself in a carpet and allows people to step on him.
38:12Oh, why do they always do it at a bar?
38:15Yeah, I'd probably let her step all over me, too.
38:18I don't have a...
38:19I don't know what's going on.
38:21I was listening to this earlier.
38:23It was there for a second.
38:24Boy, it's lots of fun, at least, and it can be kinky at best.
38:32My name is Giorgio.
38:34Uh-huh.
38:34By day, I'm a massage therapist.
38:37No, you can't touch people.
38:38And by night, I'm the human carpet.
38:40Oh, my God.
38:43Yes.
38:44Pressed carpet, people walk all over me.
38:47It's wonderful.
38:49I don't know, Dave.
38:50He kind of looks like a mascot to me.
38:52He does.
38:53He made his own outfit.
38:55That's amazing.
38:55That's a carpet.
38:57Do you feel like a brother with this guy?
38:59I don't.
38:59Yeah, I don't.
39:00He gave it arm holes.
39:01I didn't even see the arm holes.
39:03He's got to be able to feel it, right?
39:04Yeah, he wants to feel the feet.
39:06That stash.
39:07Oh, my God.
39:08I love that you said it's my stash.
39:11Well, I mean.
39:13Closest I could find him.
39:14Yeah.
39:15But Giorgio is, he does, he does admit, we missed the beginning of this.
39:19Let's see what he says.
39:21Having people walk on me gives me such an energy rush that I really enjoy.
39:28It's lots of fun, at least, and it can be kinky.
39:33At best.
39:34My name is Giorgio.
39:36By day, I'm a massage therapist.
39:39Don't let him touch you.
39:40And by night, I'm the human carpet.
39:44I don't want to kink, Shane.
39:46Right?
39:46Because, listen, I always say you do you.
39:49You do say that.
39:49Whatever turns you on, good for you.
39:52As long as it's consensual, have fun.
39:54But this is one of the things I will never understand.
39:59Rolling up in a carpet and allowing people walk on you.
40:02Hot ladies to.
40:03And that turns you on.
40:04And that gets you hard.
40:05Like that and shit.
40:07Anything to do with shit.
40:08Yeah.
40:08I don't.
40:09I can't wrap my head around.
40:10I'd rather get stepped on than shit on.
40:12Me too.
40:12I'll tell you that right now.
40:13Shit is at the bottom of my kink.
40:14Shit's way down.
40:15Very bottom.
40:16Shit's way down.
40:17Like the lowest.
40:18Yep.
40:18Tie me up.
40:19I don't want this stuff, but I'm saying before shit, piss on me, tie me up, whatever.
40:25Right.
40:25Do not dookie on my face.
40:28Anywhere.
40:29You're right.
40:30You can't shit on any part of my body.
40:31I don't want chest shit.
40:32I don't want shit anywhere.
40:34Nothing.
40:35Huh.
40:35Chuck is quiet.
40:37You want something to shit on your chest?
40:39Oh, my God.
40:40No.
40:41The Cleo Cleveland steamer?
40:42Is that what it's called?
40:43No.
40:44I was just like really, I really was trying to crunch the numbers on like hottest woman,
40:50like Scarlett Johansson, but Scarlett Johansson wanted to poop on my foot.
40:57It's still shit.
40:58Yeah.
40:59It's still shit.
41:00I had a buddy who was into this.
41:01No way.
41:03Well, he got roped into it.
41:04Met a girl at a McDonald's drive-thru.
41:07Wow.
41:07There you go.
41:08That's like the end of the story.
41:10Love.
41:10Yep.
41:11Got to the point where it was like a regular shit.
41:14Eat some garbage before you get over to my house.
41:17Like a regular shit wasn't enough.
41:19Like he would have to?
41:20Yeah, she'd be like, what are you eating tonight?
41:22She wanted it.
41:22Yeah, yeah, yeah.
41:23She wanted it.
41:24Shat upon.
41:24And then he'd call me, what are you doing?
41:26Nothing.
41:27Having dinner and then going over to the girl's house.
41:28I'm like, oh, no.
41:29Not again, buddy.
41:30Oh, my God.
41:31Come on.
41:31Put shitting on people.
41:33Did he give you details?
41:34Did he like it?
41:36Well, I think so.
41:37He kept going back.
41:38Oh, man.
41:39He just needed to get something.
41:41Dare I ask?
41:42What?
41:42Mm-hmm.
41:44Have I shit on anyone?
41:45No.
41:46Oh, you didn't.
41:46Did I watch?
41:47No.
41:48Did she eat it?
41:49Did she eat it?
41:50Did you get details like that from you?
41:52I didn't get that.
41:53You didn't want to ask, right?
41:54There's payment, right?
41:55He was getting paid.
41:56No, he was just shitting on her.
41:58But he'd piss on her, too.
41:59And that's definitely going in your mouth.
42:01So what did he get out of it?
42:03He probably had sex after.
42:04I think a girl to say that he liked her, I'd do it before.
42:07If I'm getting the sex, I'm not taking you post shit and piss.
42:12You gotta do it before.
42:13I mean, or a shower, at least, has to happen.
42:15Oh, my God.
42:16It's part of it, man.
42:17The smell of everything in it.
42:19Yeah, she needed it.
42:20Yeah.
42:20I also feel like you can't fuck with one in the chamber, though.
42:24That's true.
42:26With her, she'd enjoy it.
42:27Right.
42:27That's true.
42:28Yeah.
42:29I wouldn't.
42:29Oh, my God.
42:30I can't even imagine you're, like, desperately trying not to.
42:34But then you do.
42:35And then she just loves it.
42:37Oh, my God.
42:38And then she kicks off.
42:39And then she finishes.
42:40Oh, my God.
42:41It'd be terrible if you couldn't.
42:42Like, he couldn't do it.
42:43Like sitting over.
42:44Oh, like Al.
42:46Constipated like Al.
42:47Constipated Al.
42:48Oh, no, Al.
42:49I want to shit on you so bad.
42:51I want to shit, but I can't shit.
42:52I want you to come so bad.
42:53I want to shit all over you.
42:55I wish I could this stupid, stupid shit that I'm on.
42:59I can't shit the way I want to.
43:01I'm slamming his fingers up there trying to get it.
43:04Oh, my God.
43:06Loosen it up.
43:07Yeah.
43:07Loosen it up.
43:08Oh, my God.
43:08I'm the Peter North of shitting on you.
43:11I'll shit.
43:12I'll shit all over you like it's on command.
43:15You've got to be the backup.
43:16Oh, my God.
43:17I'm like, hold on.
43:18Ready?
43:19Boom.
43:20Like, fucking blast somebody full of shit.
43:23And the Cleveland Steamer Award.
43:25Goes to Chuck the Free.
43:27I'd like to.
43:28Once again, this is the fifth year in a row I've won the ABN for shit.
43:33That's how it's done.
43:34Yeah.
43:35That's it.
43:36I fucking.
43:36You're so confident when you were there.
43:38I'm in a robe.
43:39Comes out in a robe smoking a cigarette.
43:41Who am I shitting on today?
43:43Hey, listen.
43:44Call me when the other guy can't shit on.
43:46Who am I shitting on today?
43:48I'm shitting on all the hottest chicks.
43:51Just sitting ashamed in the corner with my shit impotence.
43:54Right.
43:54I'm a shit cuck.
43:56I'm a shit cuck.
43:57No.
43:58I'm a shit cuck.
43:59No.
44:00I can't shit.
44:01I turn everybody into a shit cuck.
44:04He's like, I love watching Chuck shit.
44:06Yeah.
44:06If only I could shit like Chuck.
44:08No one ever in the world.
44:09No.
44:09Honestly.
44:10I'm like the boogie nights of shit.
44:12I am the best.
44:14I just stand in the mirror and I'm like, yeah, I'll shit all over everybody.
44:18I'll shit it.
44:20Whatever you need it.
44:21Shitty nights with Chuck the Queen.
44:25Shitty nights.
44:26Oh my God.
44:28I love it.
44:29No, I don't.
44:30Philip Seymour Hoffman's in the mirror.
44:34All sorts of stuff.
44:35That's amazing.
44:36It's the kink that I will never understand and always look down upon.
44:41I'm sorry.
44:41I've told you guys a million times.
44:43I go to this site.
44:45It's really bad, but they show you like the top 100 things that everybody in the porn world
44:51right now on that site is watching and 40% of it is shit.
44:56Damn.
44:57It's all people eating shit and spreading it on themselves.
45:02I get it.
45:02People watch a lot of stuff that they'd never do in real life.
45:04So I'm hoping that the numbers are greatly inflated.
45:07But why are you interested in that?
45:08Yeah.
45:09And that's the thing.
45:10Like, and I don't know if it's just like you were into just ass stuff and then you're
45:15into like, if you're into jobs, you don't even want to think that stuff comes out of
45:19an ass if you're into ass.
45:20Right.
45:21I know until you do, but I don't, but I know you don't.
45:25But what I'm saying is like, there are some people that, okay.
45:30Oh God, here we go.
45:32Accidents fucking happen.
45:34Right.
45:34All of a sudden.
45:35Backdoor accidents.
45:37You know, backdoor accidents happen.
45:38And I guarantee that some of these wires get fucked up when they are doing some of that
45:46stuff that they like.
45:47And then they do have a backdoor accident.
45:50And then they're like, that wasn't bad.
45:53That wasn't all that bad.
45:55Get the fuck out of here.
45:58And then they want to be shat upon.
46:01I mean, it's just wild.
46:02Those things like Church of Fudge that we watched and all that.
46:05I mean, that is just pooping right in someone's mouth.
46:08What other kinks do you not understand?
46:10Oh, me?
46:12I know you see a lot of stuff.
46:13You see probably more.
46:14You and Jason probably see more than most of us do.
46:16Okay.
46:17I mean, it's terrible, but like the, the, the death stuff, like the people are dead.
46:23Wow.
46:24Kink.
46:25Faith, like fake deaths.
46:26Fake deaths.
46:27Fake deaths.
46:28Like, well, like, and doing things.
46:30Chloroform.
46:30Have you seen that stuff?
46:32Chloroform.
46:32Yeah.
46:33So they're like out.
46:34So like in a dentist chair and, oh, I gave you a little too much gas.
46:39Yeah.
46:39Or even like a rag and then they're dead.
46:43Yeah.
46:43They're dead.
46:45Depends on what site you go to, I guess.
46:48I don't know.
46:49I think they're not dead.
46:50They're not dead.
46:51A lot of it is like fake.
46:52Like, oh, like someone came in.
46:54It looks like, it's like bloody, but it's not, it's like an 80s horror movie.
47:01It's not even close to, to real, but people, you know, are jerking off to it that I don't
47:07understand, but to me, shit is still worse.
47:12Yeah.
47:13What about you?
47:14You've seen a lot.
47:15Diaper stuff.
47:15I was going to say.
47:16Like, not even with the shit and piss, but just like wanting to be in the diaper.
47:22The adult baby.
47:23Yeah.
47:23The adult baby stuff.
47:24That stuff is fucked up.
47:26I mean, it really is.
47:29Uh-oh.
47:29Amputee stuff.
47:31Amputee.
47:31Stump grinder.
47:32We dabbled in that a long time ago.
47:33We didn't do it, but we talked.
47:35Yeah.
47:36We talked about it.
47:37And then, and then like midgets, because there's so much of that too.
47:43I understand that one a little bit.
47:45I don't.
47:45I don't.
47:46It looks so big in their hands.
47:48Oh my God.
47:49It's so crazy.
47:50I'm just saying.
47:52It's just crazy.
47:52It's the only time for it to look gigantic.
47:56That's whack.
47:56So those are probably my three.
47:57I do get it.
47:58I get it.
47:58It's not for me, but I get it.
48:02You really do?
48:05Yeah, I do.
48:06He wants to fuck a little person.
48:08No, I don't.
48:09No, it's fucked up.
48:12I definitely don't.
48:13I've seen it all.
48:13I saw a great movie.
48:14It was called Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
48:20That one really, really was like, wow.
48:23So she ran a train on Seven Little Guys?
48:25Oh yeah.
48:26One of the most disturbing foreign pornos that you could ever watch.
48:30They were fucking her or she pegged on that?
48:32They were banging her.
48:35Oh no, you can't really do this.
48:37Snow White porn?
48:39Yep.
48:39I'm sure there's going to be a lot of different options.
48:41Snow White gets lost in the forest and gets fucked by Seven Dwarfs?
48:45I think that's the headline.
48:46They eat the apple out of her ass?
48:48Here, let's uh...
48:50Oh my god, they got masks!
48:52Oh, you know what?
48:53This isn't the one.
48:54This isn't the one.
48:55They have redone it.
48:57There's so many versions, I'm sure.
48:58There's so many, I'm sure.
49:00Yeah, this isn't the one.
49:02Oh, these are terrifying.
49:03Oh my god.
49:04What's the song?
49:15This is the thing, though.
49:17This right here, this is not as creepy as the weird foreign one.
49:21Whatever you saw was probably weird.
49:23It was from the 70s.
49:24So basically she does one dwarf and the rest are dwarf cucks.
49:29Yeah, yeah, yeah.
49:30See, I don't get it.
49:31No, the real one is, it'll stick with you.
49:35It's one of the dwarves has some stuff going on.
49:39It's a small dark cock thing.
49:40That was too much.
49:43There was nothing small about that thing.
49:45No, that thing dwarves me.
49:50How'd that do for your little phobia, Dave?
49:52Yeah, exactly.
49:54Oh my god.
49:55It's gonna be your nightmare tonight.
49:57Oh my god.
49:58No!
49:58I hope so.
49:59I hope so.
50:02A little dwarf, little dark dwarf shows up in Dave's dreams and dominates.
50:07Oh no.
50:08Just rips out his 12-incher on him.
50:11Ties you up and shits on your chest.
50:13You're an animal.
50:14You're an animal.
50:15Just planting seeds.
50:16That's too much.
50:17Okay.
50:17That's way too much.
50:19It was fun, guys.
50:20It was fun.
50:21It was fun while it lasted before we all got fired.
50:25But, here's the thing.
50:26If you thought this was fun, are you ready for our big surprise announcement?
50:31You ready?
50:32I don't know.
50:33Are you ready?
50:33You better make sure I have things ready.
50:36Dave and Chuck the Freak.
50:38Breaking news.
50:42We're doing this every fucking week.
50:44Oh no.
50:46We're doing this every fucking week.
50:49Oh yeah.
50:50Gun to our heads.
50:51We're doing it every fucking week.
50:54Yeah.
50:54Fuck.
50:55Dave and Chuck the Freak.
50:57Uncut is now going weekly.
51:00Yes.
51:01You're going to hear an uncensored, exclusive podcast once a week starting May 15th.
51:09Well, Dave.
51:11I don't want to hear it so much that I can't even say it.
51:14Excuse me, Dave.
51:15Which exactly?
51:16No.
51:17They exactly are we going to.
51:18You guys have asked for it.
51:19And after doing it just once a year for five years, we've decided we're taking it weekly.
51:23So we're not calling it Dave and Chuck's unpaid overtime?
51:26We're not.
51:27We're not.
51:28Stuff Dave and Chuck have been forced to do?
51:29No.
51:30That is not.
51:32We'll call it that.
51:32That is not.
51:33It's Dave and Chuck's uncut weekly edition starting May 15th.
51:38Should be available most Fridays.
51:41Should be.
51:42Around 5 p.m.
51:43Yeah.
51:43Don't take my word for that.
51:45Every time we set a schedule, something gets fucked up.
51:49Well, listen, it's not yet.
51:50That's what we're hoping for.
51:51You may or may not get it there.
51:52Let's hope so.
51:53Let's hope so.
51:53But starting May 15th, weekly uncut podcast coming from all of us here at Dave and Chuck
52:00the Freak.
52:00Well, we sure hope you've enjoyed this uncut edition, the fifth full length version we've
52:06ever done.
52:07It was more graphic than I thought.
52:10Pretty fucked up.
52:11Yep.
52:11It's probably the most fucked up one we've done.
52:13Yeah, I think so.
52:14Well, there's shit talk.
52:15Shit talk and dwarf cocks.
52:16Yeah.
52:17And men getting jerked off.
52:19And men getting jerked off by us.
52:21We saw it all.
52:22We've seen it all.
52:23We've been there.
52:24That should be the title of this episode.
52:25Yeah.
52:26Shit talk and dwarf cocks.
52:27Yep.
52:27Write it down, Dave.
52:28Enjoy it all.
52:29Thanks for being a part of it.
52:31If you ever need more information about the show, always check us out at DaveAndChuckTheFreak.com.
52:36And you can watch this as well as listen to it.
52:39If you haven't done that, YouTube.com slash DaveAndChuck, where you'll see the video version
52:45of our Uncut podcast, which is also coming as a weekly edition.
52:50Yes.
52:50As of May 15th as well.
52:52So that's going to do it for Uncut Live on Dave.
53:01I think everyone should say penis so we can take away the negative power of the word.
53:06Yeah?
53:07So everybody?
53:08Penis.
53:08Penis.
53:09Penis.
53:10Penis.
53:11Penis.
53:12Penis.
53:13Penis.
53:13Penis.
53:14Penis.
53:15Penis.
53:15Penis.
53:16Penis.
53:16Penis.
53:17Penis.
53:17Penis.
53:19Penis.
53:19Penis.
53:20Penis.
53:20Penis.
53:20Penis.
53:20Penis.
53:21Penis.
53:21Penis.
53:22Penis.
53:22Penis.
53:22Penis.
53:22Penis.
53:23Penis.
53:23Penis.
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