- 1 day ago
Dave & Chuck the Freak were getting ready to talk about something happening at the Villages retirement community in Florida when Ryan shared some breaking news. His grandparents live down there and we finally have a connection to the Villages!
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00:00Tick, tick, tick, tick.
00:00Whoa!
00:04What are you doing now?
00:05I'm at the carnival!
00:06Cotton candy, five hour energy.
00:08It tastes like a carnival, zero sugar.
00:10That actually sounds pretty good.
00:11Yeah, you want to take a ride with me?
00:13No, I don't do that.
00:14God bless.
00:21Um, okay, so the Michael Jackson movie,
00:23you know, of course opened up over the weekend.
00:25At the Villages, in Florida,
00:29the world's largest retirement community.
00:32Mm-hmm.
00:33My grandparents live there.
00:34It's awesome.
00:35They do?
00:35No way, Ryan.
00:38Everything's done by six o'clock at night.
00:41Dave and Chuck the Freak, breaking news.
00:44Oh, Ryan.
00:45We have an inside connection at the Villages.
00:49This is what we dreamed of.
00:51You should have mentioned this in the interview.
00:53You definitely would have been hired.
00:55Yeah, we weren't sure yet.
00:56All right, that's it?
00:57We're good now?
00:58We're good.
00:59We're so good.
00:59You're in.
01:00You're in.
01:02So your grandparents did retire to the Villages?
01:05Yeah, they lived there like half of the year,
01:07and then they come back here.
01:08And how?
01:09Are they into group sex?
01:11I've asked about the loofah stuff.
01:13She doesn't, she seems to think it's not a thing,
01:15but that's, she's probably lying.
01:17Exactly.
01:17She wouldn't tell you.
01:18She's got 12 of them on her golf cart.
01:20Oh, wow.
01:22She's into soft swap?
01:23Do they have a golf cart?
01:24Oh, yeah.
01:25Yeah, everybody does.
01:26Yeah, I thought so.
01:27But it's the greatest thing ever.
01:29Happy hour from 11 to 3, lights out.
01:32Damn, that's perfect.
01:33I know.
01:33That's my kind of life.
01:3511 to 3?
01:36We should do the show from there.
01:38Go party in bed by three?
01:39No, we're not doing the show from there.
01:40I got to stop.
01:41If we're going to do that, can we just stop doing the show?
01:44Please don't.
01:45Okay, just Jason and I will do the show.
01:47Okay.
01:47I mean, we'll do it from here.
01:49You guys stay here.
01:49They're coming up with ideas for us all the time, and you don't want to give them any
01:54other ones, Dave.
01:55This isn't my time for the villages.
01:56If you don't think that they're going to push us in the villages in the next couple years,
02:00you're a fool.
02:01Oh, my God.
02:02No.
02:02Whatever.
02:03You guys are eligible.
02:04Ryan, how old are your grandparents?
02:07Mid-80s.
02:08Mid-80s?
02:09Hey, what's wrong, Lisa?
02:12What are they doing?
02:14We need to have them on the show.
02:16Do you think they'd come on the show?
02:18Yeah, I could probably get Gigi to join us.
02:21Gigi, I love my name.
02:22That's a swinger's name if I ever heard of it.
02:25Grandma Gigi.
02:26Gigi and G-Paw.
02:27Oh, that's their nicknames.
02:29Oh, I thought her real name was Gigi.
02:32I'm like, she's a total swinger.
02:34Oh, my God.
02:35Just, Ryan, just be ready for Dave to say a lot of inappropriate things about your grandmother.
02:43That's fine.
02:45She can handle it.
02:46Okay, okay.
02:47I'm hoping that you can as well.
02:50I've seen it happen to other people's grandmas, Jasons.
02:56What do you call your grandpa?
02:57But she had sex with a man.
02:58What do you call your grandpa?
03:00G-Paw.
03:01Oh, G-Paw.
03:02G-Paw?
03:03That's sweet.
03:04G-Paw, hey, G-Paw.
03:06G-G and G-Paw.
03:07Yeah.
03:08I love it.
03:09I really like it.
03:11Wow, that's crazy.
03:12We have an insider.
03:13So you don't think they get down to any, like, group sex action?
03:17I don't think they do any of that, but they still, like, they're very active.
03:22Like, sexually active?
03:23I don't know.
03:24Mid-80s, I don't know.
03:25But they will get on, like, mid-80s, and they're still getting on a golf cart and going
03:29and doing stuff?
03:30Oh, yeah.
03:31Drinking half the day.
03:32Oh, yeah.
03:33Awesome.
03:33Staying young.
03:34Staying young.
03:35Have you ever noticed any pineapples on their porch?
03:37No.
03:37No, no, no.
03:38No, nothing like that.
03:39No, and that's something I've asked them.
03:40I've had that conversation with them.
03:42You have?
03:43Oh, yeah.
03:44Well, have they talked about any crazy stuff that happens there?
03:47Not to me, no.
03:49I thought this was going to be better than it was.
03:51I think they're trying to protect you, sweet Ryan.
03:53It's still awesome, man.
03:54I don't know if you share that with your grandkid, right?
03:57No.
03:57I don't know.
03:57No, she shared some stories she should not share with her grandkid.
04:01Well, mid-80s.
04:02Such as?
04:03Yeah, what?
04:03Mid-80s.
04:04One of her big party tricks back in the day was questioning how big men's penises were
04:10and going and getting a yardstick and making them lay it out on the table.
04:14What?
04:14Oh, my God, your grandma's a whore.
04:17It's a Gigi.
04:18As I said.
04:20As I said, Ryan.
04:21Oh, my God.
04:22Measuring dicks?
04:23Yeah.
04:24You can't measure dicks.
04:25Also, don't come at me with a yardstick.
04:27Gigi's crazy.
04:28This was back in the day.
04:29I don't know if, you know.
04:30Yeah.
04:31She only hung out with dudes with giant wangs because I'm not pulling it out with a yardstick.
04:38Whip it out.
04:38Like, not even close.
04:40No.
04:41No.
04:42I'm not pulling it out with a ruler.
04:44You know, like, those little rulers you'd get in a pencil case?
04:47That's all I need.
04:49Let's not get carried away.
04:50Wow, Ryan.
04:50That's wild.
04:51The fact that she told you that, too.
04:53Oh, yeah.
04:54Yeah, yeah.
04:54Craziness.
04:54They tell me too much.
04:55We have fun.
04:56How did G-Paw handle that?
04:58I think he loves it.
04:59Really?
05:00She's the life of the party, and he puts on the party, so they're good to go.
05:03He must have done okay on that yardstick, too.
05:05Right.
05:06G-Paw must be packing, right?
05:07Yeah.
05:08If she's bringing out the yardstick.
05:10She picked him.
05:11Gigi picked G-Paw for his yardstick.
05:13Yeah.
05:14He's packing his own yardstick.
05:15Exactly.
05:16So, yeah, they're totally getting busy at the villages.
05:18Well, they might just be getting busy with themselves, but if he likes throwing the party
05:23and she likes being the party, that's a match made in heaven.
05:27If you're measuring dicks.
05:29Yeah.
05:29Yeah.
05:30And you went to the villages.
05:32That's what swingers do.
05:34Guys, he's right.
05:35I know he's right here, but that's what swingers do.
05:38They measure dicks, and then that's just the invitation.
05:40Next thing you know, Gigi's on her knees.
05:42Dave would know, guys.
05:45Dave would know.
05:47They'll be back in two weeks.
05:48I'll, uh...
05:49Oh, yeah.
05:49We'll have to set him up.
05:51Get the information.
05:51It would be wild.
05:52I mean, the questions that Dave would want to know the answers to could really mess up
05:57your whole life, Ryan.
05:59So, we'll get her a couple glasses of red wine.
06:02Oh, yeah.
06:02Get her.
06:03Yeah.
06:04I mean, if we've got to measure them, we'll measure them.
06:06Dave will impress her.
06:08Listen, because when I talked to my mom, my sweet Aunt Dan, my mom was more aware of
06:15all the craziness in the world because she read erotic novels.
06:18Yes.
06:19She was into erotica.
06:20But my Aunt Dan, who's still with us, had no idea some of the stuff.
06:24Like, she never knew anything about anal.
06:27Right?
06:27Yeah, and your mom...
06:28Or RJs.
06:29Or even shaving pubes, which led me to a...
06:32Dark place.
06:33Don't even want to think.
06:34Yep.
06:35Probably look like Little Orphan Annie between her legs.
06:38A hairy, dark place.
06:40So, I feel like, though, your grandparents are more aware.
06:44Yes.
06:45Yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:46They are.
06:46Especially given their lifestyle there.
06:48Yep.
06:49At the villages.
06:50Yeah, they don't live like they're 85.
06:52That's kind of great.
06:52No, but I honestly, I think it probably has kept them young.
06:57Yeah, absolutely.
06:59Kept them young.
06:59You got to keep up with the young bucks.
07:01RJs keep you young.
07:02Yeah.
07:02They say that.
07:03She was on the forefront of the penis humiliation stuff.
07:06Yeah, she was.
07:07Yeah, she should be on TikTok rating dogs.
07:10No, she should be on OnlyFans rating dogs.
07:13OnlyFans.
07:13Okay.
07:14No, I'm sorry, Ryan.
07:15You're going to talk to her about her business plan?
07:17I apologize, Ryan.
07:18You're going to get Ryan's grandma, Gigi, on OnlyFans?
07:21Why not?
07:22Size queen, Gigi, on OnlyFans?
07:24As long as I get a cut.
07:26Yeah.
07:27Not bad.
07:27You got to run the account.
07:28Yeah.
07:28That's what it is.
07:29It's always the kids.
07:30It's always the grandkid that runs the account.
07:33You know?
07:34It is.
07:34You don't even have to really explain to her what she's doing.
07:38She'll measure them.
07:39They should be famous.
07:41They should be famous.
07:42Have you, are they part of any clubs or groups down there that you know of?
07:46I know they're part of some, but just like they go shoot pool, like 25 cent pool games,
07:51man.
07:52It's awesome.
07:52Oh, wow.
07:53So they're hustlers.
07:54Yeah.
07:55A little bridge.
07:56Bridge.
07:57Bridge is a big one in the old folks.
07:59Yeah, yeah, yeah.
08:00Yeah.
08:00They love bridge.
08:01Have you been there?
08:02No, I've never went.
08:04Okay.
08:04You've got to go.
08:05I think it's frowned upon when you have visitors that are younger.
08:08They don't like it.
08:09There's certain pools you have to use and stuff.
08:11Oh, a younger pool.
08:13But dude, you're looking for like a cheap vacation with your kids.
08:16Get down to the village.
08:17See, but that's what the people don't want.
08:19They're like, no, no, no, no, no.
08:20This is for us.
08:22If you want to go on vacation with kids and you want to have screaming kids and by kids,
08:27they mean people in their thirties, you know, get the hell out of here.
08:33Yeah.
08:34Go stay in Orlando.
08:35Go get it.
08:36Go get a hotel.
08:37They don't want to be bothered by.
08:39I don't go to the villages and want all sorts of free vacation time for families.
08:44That defeats the purpose.
08:46They can come in and they have a designated pool.
08:52Go to the designated pool.
08:54That makes sense.
08:54You want an adult only and then a kid friendly.
08:57That's fine.
08:57Yeah.
08:58And then a nude friendly.
08:59And then a nude friendly where Gigi hangs out.
09:02Full body tan.
09:05Yeah.
09:06Maybe we could have his grandpa show us his tan lines.
09:10I bet he has none.
09:11I bet he has none.
09:12Oh my God.
09:13I bet he has none.
09:13G-Paw will do it, baby.
09:14Yeah.
09:15I bet he has none.
09:16I love that.
09:16G-Paw whips it out.
09:18Well, yeah.
09:19And everyone's saying to keep Jason away from Gigi because.
09:22Yeah.
09:22He may not be able to control himself.
09:24I won't have sex with your grandmother.
09:26Do it.
09:27Okay.
09:27You can try.
09:28You wouldn't know what to do with her.
09:29Oh my God.
09:29She put circles around you.
09:31Oh.
09:31Well, now we got a challenge.
09:33I'm excited.
09:33No.
09:34See, Alice Watson didn't mean to hear that.
09:35I'll whip her right out.
09:36Get that yardstick, Gigi.
09:38G-Paw, I'm so sorry because I'm sure he could kick my ass.
09:41Yeah.
09:42The name like G-Paw.
09:44Yeah.
09:44I bet he knocked me out.
09:46Oh, yeah.
09:47G-Paw.
09:48Well, there you go.
09:49Oh, the breaking news of the day.
09:50That is amazing stuff.
09:52That feels so bad.
09:53Alice, Gigi, and G-Paw live at the villages in swing.
09:56Wow.
09:57We don't know that.
09:58We'll find out though.
09:59That's what we believe.
10:00That's what I will believe unless I hear other words from Gigi.
10:03Yeah.
10:03We have to talk to them.
10:04Yeah.
10:05Oh, boy.
10:06We're definitely getting into that yardstick thing.
10:08Yes.
10:08Apologize for that.
10:12You can't let us know your grandparents are at the villages and not expect swing stuff.
10:16No, no.
10:17Yeah.
10:18I mean, I do.
10:18I understand that.
10:19I do.
10:20I think that zip code, one of those zip codes has the highest amount of STDs in the U.S.
10:24Yeah.
10:25Yeah.
10:25A lot of syphilis, right?
10:26Right.
10:26I feel like we talked to them.
10:27Yeah.
10:28So, it ain't for nothing.
10:30No.
10:31It's happening.
10:31Because my friend's dad is down there alone as a divorced dad.
10:36Oh, so he's probably killing it.
10:38How old is he?
10:40He is just barely old enough to be in there or something like that.
10:45Chuck?
10:45What, in his 50s?
10:46Or like he's...
10:47Is it 55?
10:48What is his age?
10:49I think it's 55.
10:50He's probably 60 by now.
10:5260?
10:52I think some of them are 55.
10:54I thought it was 55.
10:54Chuck, what are you doing?
10:55Get to the villages, man?
10:56I'd like to not have sex with old ladies.
10:59He likes younger women.
11:01But they're 55.
11:02Let's clear something up.
11:03He's into younger women.
11:05He's into older women.
11:06Yeah.
11:06That's the way it goes.
11:09I just have a fantasy about it.
11:11Well...
11:11My poor wife, who is not an older lady.
11:14No, she's a younger lady.
11:16No.
11:17I just...
11:17I don't know what you're into.
11:18What can I say?
11:19Yeah.
11:19Dude, I like him old.
11:22He does.
11:23He likes him young.
11:24He does.
11:25Let's relax on that.
11:26Well, younger.
11:27Younger.
11:28Let's relax on that.
11:29Younger.
11:30I just...
11:31I think...
11:31Okay, so let's say...
11:32I got a guy calling me a pedo in my comments already.
11:36Oh, come on.
11:36Relax.
11:36What?
11:37I'm like, I don't like him that young, you freak.
11:40Calm down.
11:40I'm like, now I got to block you.
11:42No.
11:43Okay, that's awful.
11:43Like, you'll never get to see any of my stuff again.
11:45Let's say you're 65.
11:45I'm like, what do you think?
11:46I got a daughter, you dumbass.
11:48Okay, okay.
11:48Let's say you're 65.
11:50Then the women there will be 10 years younger than you.
11:53Maybe that's the sweet spot for you.
11:55Right?
11:57Maybe, man.
11:58Never say never, dude.
12:00I don't think he wants 55-year-old bits.
12:02I don't.
12:03Even when he's 65?
12:04No.
12:05I think he just got it.
12:06You know what I mean?
12:07Yeah.
12:07I'm like, I don't need any bits.
12:09Okay.
12:10So they better be prime.
12:11You just get robot bits.
12:13Yeah.
12:14I mean, I don't even care.
12:15I don't believe you don't need any.
12:17Lisa's calling BS.
12:19Lisa thinks he likes bits.
12:21I don't.
12:22He still likes bits.
12:23Don't listen to them.
12:25Don't listen to them at all.
12:27I'm in a mood.
12:28Lisa just lit up a smoke.
12:30Get out of here.
12:31Hearing about Gigi got her excited.
12:34She's going to pull out a yardstick any second.
12:36We're in trouble.
12:39Whip it out, boys.
12:40Whip it out.
12:41Let's see.
12:42Gigi 2.0 will be.
12:44Lele, I'm Lele.
12:45Lele, I'm Lele.
12:47Lele.
12:47There you go.
12:50That's a nine volt.
12:51Yep.
12:53No way.
12:53Damn it.
12:55No, man.
12:56I'm leaving.
12:59Darn it.
12:59Oh, well.
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