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مسلسل Silicon Valley مترجم - Episode 5
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00:15You
00:15Fucking sketchy neighborhood, man. You see that guy? That's Chewy Ramirez
00:21He's gonna do our new logo
00:23That's the artist you were talking about. You said he had paintings in galleries
00:27His works hang in the gallery of the streets. I'll be back in a flash. Oh, no, what? Okay
00:35Man, we're just gonna sit here like this?
00:39Oh shit, look at this guy. He's a scary individual
00:45Whoa
00:47Hey, buddy, do you have any drugs?
00:49Please let it up. Let it up. If you don't let it go, I can't roll it up. Just be
00:53just you fucking prick
00:56I'm gonna beat you in your face
00:59Chewy Ramirez
01:01Erlich Bachmann, he spoke on the phone. What's up, man? Pleasure to meet you. All right
01:05Ah, this is great. Look at this. This is what we need. You know what I mean? Something raw
01:10We already have kind of a shitty name Pied Piper
01:13But the last thing we want is two lowercase p's in a square like those motherfuckers across the freeway would
01:18make
01:18This is what we want. So you won't give me stock options or what?
01:23What? Yeah, you know, Dave Cho
01:25He did all the murals over at Facebook. He got a stock option deal ended up making like a hundred
01:29million dollars. I want a deal like that
01:31You know, I don't really speak all that Wall Street bullshit. You know what I'm saying?
01:35We're just like five guys hanging out in the house trying to make cool shit
01:38Well, you told me you own ten percent of it. So you must know something about it, right?
01:42You can just give me some of your points. Hey, I'm not an accountant. You know, I don't even know
01:46what that means a lot of those words
01:49You fucking
01:59Oh, you fucker
02:02Let me in please, please. I'll break. I don't care. I don't care. I'll break. I can't hear you. Oh
02:07I can't hear you
02:12Yeah, but you don't want stock in our company if I can go back in time, I wouldn't take in
02:16the stock
02:16I would take in cash only. I'm telling you
02:19Who's that dude?
02:21Uh, nobody he's a coder. You got a Latino working for you. That's cool. Yo, not a lot of Latinos
02:26working in tech
02:28Yeah
02:29Yeah, he's Latino. Yeah
02:32And he's one of the best coders we have he kind of adds a Latin flair to the company. I
02:36told you we do things differently
02:39Yeah, you know what uh I could do a cash deal for a Latino company
02:42I think we should get out of here though because I just pin it over some new shit
02:45People get shot behind that so I'll catch you on the flip. Peace. Uh, okay. Peace, Chewie
02:56Oh god, this is this is very real. Hey, Dinesh get in the fucking car
03:01There may be a drive-by about to happen
03:15You promised this guy ten thousand dollars without any approval. Are you high?
03:21A little bit. Yeah, but that's irrelevant. A cool company needs a cool logo
03:25You think those guys over at Nucleus are hiring a convicted felon to paint a mural on their garage?
03:30For ten thousand dollars? No. Look, I took a run at a burndown chart
03:37Jesus fucking christ
03:43It's not pretty the way things are going we're not gonna finish for five months and even with everyone on
03:49reduced salaries
03:50We'll exhaust all our funding in four and that's without wasting ten thousand dollars on artwork
03:54Wasting and I got a great deal. You know, he wanted stock options until he saw Dinesh. Hold on what?
04:00Don't be offended, but for some weird reason Chewie took a look at you and thought you were Mexican
04:09Why would I be offended by that?
04:11What?
04:12Why would I be offended by him thinking I'm Mexican? He's Mexican, right?
04:16Yeah, he is but you're not you're Pakistani. So
04:20Actually, the very fact that you think this might be offensive to me is offensive
04:26You're the one being racist. No, I'm not the one who called you a Mexican called me a Mexican
04:32You're doing it again. I'm bending over backwards to not be racist right now. All right
04:37Well, what did he say when you told him I wasn't mexican? I didn't
04:41And why not because I wanted him to paint our garage for cheap
04:46I
04:46I genuinely don't know how to respond to that. You know, I'm not gonna take the bait here. I am
04:51not a racist
04:52All right, I watch a lot of black porn. I mean a lot
04:57One question in this porn is the man black or the woman black or are they both?
05:04Is one of those racists and the others aren't? I'll hack his browser history. We'll get to the bottom of
05:09this
05:09Yep, hold on. That's unnecessary
05:13Hold on
05:14Richard
05:16Can you explain this to me?
05:19What? I just got a text from my friend at TechCrunch
05:22HiPiper just got into this year's startup battlefield. Oh, really? Oh, that's so cool. No, no, it isn't
05:28We're already seated. Richard, why would we enter a startup competition at a tech conference?
05:33I sent in the application a few months ago, and I totally forgot about it. Relax. I will withdraw. Relax?
05:39This house is chaos
05:41I gave up a great job in stock options at Hooley to come here because I thought Pied Piper could
05:46be viable
05:46But it never will be unless we make some changes. We need to operate like a business or we're not
05:51going to
05:54Richard?
05:57Richard?
06:00Thanks for coming in, Nelson. Mr. Belson's very excited to meet with you
06:04I thought he was in Jackson Hole this week. Yes, he is. We're going to call him up on the
06:10telehuman
06:10It's amazing. It's holographic 3d teleconferencing technology that we've acquired. It's going to feel as if Gavin is right here
06:17in the room with you
06:20Oh, it's him. It's him
06:25Hello, Nelson. Thanks for meeting with me. Whoa. Hi, that's cool. Am I a hologram over there, too?
06:31What? No, of course not
06:34Question. Do you still talk to Richard Hendricks?
06:38Uh, yeah, I mean not about Nucleus or anything. Why would he enter Pied Piper and TechCrunch Disrupt?
06:44I know a lot of big players have come out of it. Dropbox, Yammer, what have you, but Peter Gregory
06:48is already funding him
06:49Why would he let Richard do this? It makes no sense. I don't know. I didn't even know Richard got
06:55in
06:55Is Peter Gregory toying with me?
06:57Is he trying to make Richard seem folksy like some aw shucks boy genius entering in every man's competition?
07:04Mr. Bell, Mr. Belson? Can you hear me?
07:07Hello? Can you hear me?
07:08Yeah, it's just it's sort of fading. Hello? Hello? Hello?
07:14I'm hearing you. It's just the image is- Nelson, shut up for a second. If you can hear me
07:18Make a gesture
07:19Is it? Do you? I hear you. Is this? I have no idea what you're saying, Nelson. Nelson, Nelson. Can
07:25you help me, please?
07:31Okay, I think what happened was when you set it up, you forgot to-
07:34I didn't set it up. I paid one of you people to set it up. Just fix it.
07:39Uh, okay.
07:41Here's the thing. It's not working.
07:45Um, the audio is still working. You could just use that.
07:47The audio is working? Excuse me? I paid 20 million fucking dollars to acquire this company.
07:53Fuck you, the audio is working. Audio worked 100 fucking years ago. You fucking piece of shit!
08:04It appears we've lost him.
08:05Yeah, why don't we just try HooliChat instead?
08:12Ah, that's better. Sorry. The telehuman is a great piece of technology. Unfortunately,
08:18the broadband isn't that great out here in rural Wyoming. That presents a great business opportunity.
08:24Nelson, make a gesture. Hear me. Oh, for fuck's sake.
08:31Uh, I think you forgot to update your software. God damn it. Fuck!
08:41Oh.
08:47Hello? Oh, hi, Gavin.
08:51What's that? I'm sorry, you're kind of breaking up there. Hello? Hello?
08:57Okay, let's start the meeting. I think we need to define our corporate culture.
09:02Our whole corporate culture is that we don't have a corporate culture.
09:06That's totally ridiculous, Guilfoyle. The main reason dogs are perceived to have a more keen sense
09:10of smell is because their noses are closer to the ground. Therefore, with a little practice,
09:14I could easily have as keen a sense of smell as dogs. Guys, I guess you didn't see the sign.
09:19We're actually having a meeting here. Congratulations. It's sort of for management only.
09:29Are you fucking serious right now? Are you really kicking us out?
09:32I thought maybe you guys could just take your food into the living room.
09:35So you want to have a meeting in the room where all the food is while we eat our food
09:38in the room where all the computers are? Guys, just five minutes, please.
09:50Okay, you see, this is a case in point. This is a company, and yet we have no boundaries and
09:56no
09:56protocol. We need to establish a clear corporate culture, or we're not going to make it.
10:00Take Dinesh and Guilfoyle. They are wasting an enormous amount of time arguing. What if we were
10:06to separate them, right? Divide their existing workspace into two areas. We could put in some
10:11kind of portable barrier. He's talking about cubicles.
10:14We're not doing cubicles. No way. No, no, no. Don't think of it as a cubicle.
10:18Just think of it as a neutral colored enclosure about yay high around your workspace.
10:27Okay, fine. But do you know who uses cubicles? Every single Fortune 500 company. Why? Because
10:33they work. He's trying to turn us into corporate rock, Richard. No. We are punk rock. Actually,
10:39you know, I think a better analogy would be jazz. Like we riff and improvise around a central theme
10:44to create one cohesive piece of music, don't you think? No, no. They just teach fucking jazz
10:47and Juilliard. We're not jazz. We're fucking punk rock. You see? You see, you guys are
10:52arguing over what metaphor to use to agree with each other. This is the inefficiency I'm trying
10:57to eliminate. My suggestions could actually help you beat me in this argument. Do you see the irony there?
11:14I, um, I can't argue with this. Ah, Chewie's here. No, and this, this, this is the craziest one of
11:22all.
11:22I mean, we're really about to spend $10,000 on, on, on a logo we could generate in-house for
11:27free? It's madness.
11:29You want a logo? Here. Just, there. I just saved this company $10,000.
11:37Are you fucking serious? Lowercase letters? Twitter, lowercase t. Google, lowercase g. Facebook,
11:44lowercase f. Every fucking company in the valley has lowercase letters. Why? Because it's safe.
11:50But we aren't going to do that. We're going to go with Chewie. Unless any of you gringos wants to
11:57go
11:57out there and tell a guy with three assault convictions that we're not going to give him the money we
12:01promised
12:01him. Hmm? That's what I thought. I mean, God.
12:10Are you still enjoying your asparagus, sir?
12:13I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients. You may take it.
12:23Oh, shit. Peter, I don't want to upset you, but Kevin Pelson just walked in.
12:40Does he see us? I don't know. He must know that you're here.
12:44If I scurry to the restroom, do you imagine he- Peter, I didn't know you came here.
12:53Gavin, hello. Nice to see you. And you as well.
13:05How are you? Well. And you? Not bad. I just got back from Jackson Hole. Have you been?
13:15I have not. But I hear good things. You look well. Are you exercising?
13:26I have begun to do Pilates. I hear that's good.
13:34I like it. Yes.
13:40Well, I didn't mean to interrupt. Nice to see you, Peter. Goodbye now. Okay.
13:52You know, I almost forgot. I saw that Pied Piper is in the startup battlefield at TechCrunch Disrupt.
13:59It inspired me to call TechCrunch and offer to be their keynote speaker.
14:04They were quite accommodating. Especially when I said that I'd make the event the grand unveiling of Nucleus.
14:12So, I will see you all at the conference.
14:21This is displeasing.
14:23I have never seen him so incensed. What the hell were you thinking, Richard?
14:29How could you not tell us that you entered TechCrunch Disrupt?
14:32I applied before I even met you guys. I wasn't going to say anything because I was going to withdraw.
14:36No, you're not. I'm not? Why not?
14:39Because of you, Gavin Belson is debuting Nucleus at TCD. If you pull out, it looks like Peter is running
14:45away from Gavin.
14:46So, like it or not, you are presenting a live demo in front of the world in eight weeks.
14:51A live demo of what? I entered TCD with an early build of Pied Piper when it was still just
14:56a music app.
14:57No, sorry. Executive decision. We are not doing TechCrunch.
15:00Okay. So, let me just tell you what's going to happen.
15:03Peter will pull all of his support and pass on any further funding, which, as you know,
15:08is the most flaming signaling risk on earth. You'll burn through the rest of your runway.
15:12No one will step in. Then you'll go bust.
15:15I don't get it. Doesn't Peter Gregory want what's best for the company?
15:22Look, I'm going to be straight with you.
15:28Peter Gregory doesn't care.
15:31About?
15:32You.
15:34Wait, just him or both of us?
15:36Any of you. Pied Piper.
15:41Okay. Uh, well then, why did he back us?
15:44Did he just want to piss off Gavin Belson? He spent $200,000 just to-
15:48Yeah, that's nothing. Peter would spend millions just to mildly annoy Gavin.
15:53These are billionaires, Richard. Humiliating each other is worth more to them than we'll make in a lifetime.
16:00I see. And you conveniently forgot to mention any of this when you were convincing me to turn down
16:07$10 million, and now I'm in the middle of some pissing contest between two billionaires?
16:12In fairness, Gavin only offered you the $10 million because we started pursuing-
16:18Yeah, but he offered it to me, Monica. He offered it to me, $10 million, and I didn't take it.
16:22Because you came to me when I was puking and freaking out and told me that Peter Gregory
16:27believed in me, when in reality he didn't even give a flying fuck.
16:31Richard.
16:31Oh my god, I didn't turn down $10 million because of Peter Gregory, Monica. I turned it down because of
16:37you.
16:42However angry he is, I am one-tenth as angry.
16:48You know, because one of the 10 million would have been mine.
16:50Why? Because I, I own 10 percent.
16:53I know.
16:54Of Pied Piper.
16:54I know.
16:58It's push.
17:10I mean, we didn't think we were going to get this thing done when we had five months to do
17:13it. Now we have two?
17:14Granted, it's not ideal, but we're just going to have to, what the good fuck?
17:18What is happening? Is that Dinesh?
17:21Is that the Statue of Liberty? And it's, there's penetration.
17:28Oh, hey neighbor. Ashley's getting big.
17:32She looks. What do we do?
17:35I don't know. Paint over it.
17:37No, no, no. You can't paint over it. That's like the code of the streets.
17:39People get shot behind that.
17:41Oh, good.
17:41Hey, so what do you guys think, man?
17:43Uh, I think Ehrlich had a few thoughts.
17:46So, I gotta, I'll let you.
17:55Uh, here's the headline.
17:58There's a lot right with it. A lot of good stuff in there.
18:03But, I just, do you think the piece is working? I mean, maybe it's a bit too graphic for the
18:10space?
18:11No way. Look at it. The comments on the whole Latino struggle for justice in America.
18:15But even without all the symbolism, it's just aesthetically pleasing.
18:19Yeah. All right. Here's the real shit, uh, Chewy. Um, you know, our prize coder? He's actually not Latino.
18:30What?
18:31Yeah. Point of fact is he's Pakistani.
18:33Holmes, you lied to me.
18:35No, no, no. You thought he was Latino. And I thought that I would be racist telling you you're wrong.
18:40Come on, man. Why would you think that? Thinking that? Now that's racist.
18:44God, I can't win with that. Look, Chewy, painting a guy named Dinesh Chugtai as an Aztec warrior just doesn't
18:54make sense.
18:56Yeah, you know what? I think you might be right, boss.
19:00Great. That's, um, so perfect. So change that and then don't have him be the literal symbol of freedom.
19:09And then whatever else you want to do.
19:11All right.
19:12All right.
19:14If I had known, we could have withdrawn your application before any of this happened.
19:18This is exactly why we need to have clear lines of communication.
19:21I know, Jared. I know.
19:22Listen, I'd like to institute an organizational system called Scrum.
19:28Scrum is designed specifically-
19:29All right. You have one hour. Go.
19:31No.
19:33This is musty.
19:35Uh, what's going on?
19:36Gilfall bet me a hundred bucks that if I touched one object in this room,
19:39he could find it just by sniffing. Okay. Uh, not now, please.
19:42No, it has to be now. I just masturbated to heighten my focus. I have a 15-minute refractory period.
19:47Ow.
19:48Uh, well, we have a lot of work to get done, so maybe we should do that instead, please?
19:51Dude, relax, okay? We each ripped through a full module this morning.
19:54We're just taking a little break. DRM is now a thing of beauty.
19:58Wait, you did DRM?
20:00Yeah.
20:01I did DRM.
20:02Why did you do DRM? I said I would do DRM, you would do error handling.
20:06Anything to do with error sounds like your whole vibe.
20:09Yeah, I handle errors every day every day.
20:11Yes, Scrum.
20:13Scrum.
20:14So, from rules-based filtering, we go to workflow, at which point that card is moved from the icebox
20:20into the in-progress column, and it stays there until it is ready for testing.
20:25Okay, this increases visibility into our team's progress.
20:29And that, gentlemen, is Scrum.
20:32Welcome to the next eight weeks of our lives.
20:34This just became a job.
20:36Okay, so here are the cards I'm adding under this epic for the ingestion engine.
20:42And there are three stories here.
20:45How long do we think each one will take?
20:47I don't know, who cares?
20:49Four hours a piece?
20:50Yeah, maybe for you.
20:52Each one of those tasks would take me three max.
20:55Not tasks, stories.
20:56I've got a story.
20:57Why don't you choke on my balls?
20:59Well, how about this?
21:00Why don't you each take one story, right?
21:04Okay, and we'll see who's right.
21:07You see what he's doing, right?
21:09He's trying to get us to compete, so we work faster.
21:12He thinks this wall of psych 101 MBA mind control bullshit is going to motivate us.
21:19Fine, don't compete.
21:20Do them at whatever speed you like.
21:28I know these guys.
21:29I really don't think scrum is going to work for them.
21:33Okay, we'll just trust in the system.
21:35So we're going to work at a nice leisurely pace, right?
21:38Sure.
21:41But why are you tapping faster?
21:43I'm not.
21:44Maybe my leisurely pace is just a little faster than yours.
21:51Holy cocksucker.
21:55Booyah.
21:56Guys, have you been out front yet?
21:59Because you might want to come see this.
22:00I'm good.
22:01Fuck off.
22:02We're working.
22:03Wow, this took a lot of work.
22:07I mean, I'm already smiling.
22:09Do you really have to paint me giving the thumbs up?
22:11It's gratuitous.
22:12Really?
22:12That's the gratuitous part?
22:14Well, and Dinesh's chef.
22:15Oh, no.
22:17Oh, shit.
22:21Are one of you the homeowner?
22:23Yeah, I am.
22:25We've got a number of complaints about your artwork here.
22:27Look, what you do inside the house is your own business.
22:29Oh, no, we don't.
22:30Oh, no, we don't do that.
22:32That is you, is it not?
22:33The individual on the right?
22:36Yeah.
22:37You're going to need to paint over this.
22:38Oh, I don't think the artist would like that.
22:40He's Latino.
22:42Was that racist?
22:44Why are you asking me?
22:46Oh, I mean, I could have asked anybody, but you're a racist.
22:50It doesn't matter.
22:50I have a solution.
22:52You put it up.
22:52We don't put it down, leave it up.
22:54No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
22:55Close it.
22:56No.
22:59Look at this, left from the previous tenant.
23:04Unbelievable.
23:05I can't believe I didn't enter the garage until this point.
23:07I mean, is that marijuana's?
23:09We're going to need to take those.
23:12Or we leave them and wait to see if the criminal returns to the scene of the crime.
23:19What do you say, please?
23:21Okay, so I keep the mural and I keep the 10 G's.
23:24What do you get?
23:25I just thought when I got a new garage door, maybe you could come and paint a new logo.
23:29Something just as artistic, but maybe a little less challenging.
23:33Hey, don't look under there.
23:35Get away from there.
23:37That's not me.
23:41Um, just to be honest with you, like, I really, really, really need this.
23:48So, I'm trying to be vulnerable in front of you.
23:50I don't know.
23:50Is this a safe place?
23:52Look, you can be vulnerable, huh, son?
23:54But this ain't a safe place.
23:56The plumber got stabbed just last week while we were standing.
23:58What?
23:58Jesus Christ.
24:00Why would you stab a plumber?
24:04All right, it was worth a try.
24:05Thanks anyway, Chewy.
24:08Wait.
24:10Let's go ahead and leave the mural.
24:11I like looking at it.
24:13And plus, I think I know what kind of logo you wipe was my like.
24:16Uh, that's amazing.
24:17Thank you, Chewy.
24:18Uh, yeah.
24:19Appreciate it.
24:20All right, man.
24:20Whatever, yes.
24:21One of those, too.
24:27Another one down.
24:29Did you really?
24:30You still working on that last one?
24:32Take your time.
24:33There's no rush, Dinesh.
24:39Feeling pretty happy about yourself?
24:41I'm pretty happy with ourself.
24:46Hello?
24:48Hey, is, uh, is Richard here?
24:52I don't know.
24:53Hey.
24:54Hey.
24:56Come to check up on your investment?
25:00Listen, you were right.
25:01I played you a little.
25:04Maybe a lot.
25:06I got caught up in making the deal.
25:08All right?
25:08And I would like to say that I was just doing my job.
25:12But that's the excuse that the Nazis used.
25:14So I'm not really sure how effective that one is.
25:17Your point being?
25:19I'm sorry.
25:21But I'm also not sorry.
25:23The reason I pushed Peter to siege you is I think you have an unbelievably good platform.
25:28Way better than the rest of his other compression plays.
25:32Which I apologize for not telling you about.
25:35Look, I know eight weeks isn't a lot of time to get this ready.
25:39But I get the feeling you're the kind of guy that does better when there's a fire lit under his
25:43ass.
25:44It's a pretty big fire.
25:46It is.
25:48And by the way, you're the only one of Peter's companies that I've invested 10% of my annual salary
25:54in.
25:55So I really hope that you can do this.
26:02I guess we'll find out.
26:08It's a logo up front.
26:10I didn't know it was cool.
26:13Guys, the new logo.
26:17Can we please both go?
26:20You go first.
26:27I love it.
26:30Well, it's lowercase, but at least it isn't racist.
26:36Is it?
26:37It's Chewy Ramirez.
26:39I'm impressed.
26:40He sold a mural today for a half a million bucks.
26:43It wasn't on a garage door, was it?
26:49You don't think it's too incendiary for the officers?
26:52Kevin, you got where you are by challenging sensibilities.
26:55You know me well.
26:59It is pretty raunchy, though.
27:10You know what?
27:28He's somebody in charge.
27:29Y todo lo malo
27:32Es un nuevo año y milenio
27:34Aquí con mis compas quemando leños
27:36El tiempo es de realizar mis sueños
27:39Esto esperado desde muy pequeño
27:41Por nada en el mundo yo cambio esto
27:43Aunque el proceso ha sido lento
27:46Los que no esperaban esto lo siento
27:49Y el de mal es abierto
27:51Nuevo estilo con nuevo modo
27:53Pongan atención que esto no es todo
27:55Soy pariente del recoto
27:58Diario en las calles hacemos un bolo
28:00Llego a tu pueblo de repente
28:02Cítrico, cílico, el nuevo gerente
28:05Más grueso que las cejas de chente
28:07Son nuevos tiempos aquí
28:10Pero no puedo olvidar yo
28:13El pa, un sabor y todo lo malo
28:17Son nuevos tiempos aquí
28:19Pero no puedo olvidar yo
28:22Y todo lo malo
28:28Y todo lo malo
28:28Son nuevos tiempos aquí
28:29Encuentro
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