- 4 days ago
Best Medicine - Season 1 - Episode 08: The Bogfather
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TVTranscript
00:19Don't even think about it, don't even.
00:57Don't even think about it.
01:02Ow!
01:04No!
01:05No!
01:06No, leave it!
01:11Greetings, young Port-Wenians!
01:13Hello!
01:14It is our honor, nay, our duty to help you learn about our town's history through our
01:20eyes.
01:21Let's travel back to the year 1757.
01:27I'm Roderick, the bog harvester.
01:31Each day, I cut peat into bricks for the townspeople to cook their food.
01:36Peat also makes an excellent camouflage.
01:39But the bog is not just for food and fuel.
01:42It's also for love.
01:47Our town leader, Archibald no-knows-when, proposed to Annabelle Ross while gathering peat.
01:54Yes!
01:55It is I, Archibald no-knows-when.
01:58Many moons ago, I declared my undying love to the woman of my dreams, right here in this
02:04very bog.
02:06Yeah.
02:07My beloved and I lived happily married for 37 years, growing a family with a bunch of
02:16nice little kids, and being the very heart and soul of Port-
02:22pansy.
02:23No, sorry, sorry.
02:29Whaaa!
02:32No!
02:34No!
02:35No!
02:37No!
02:39No!
02:39No!
02:40That's all right.
02:41When did the time.
02:42What was that?
02:45How do you know?
02:48Oh!
02:49How?
03:02What brings you back in?
03:03My pickleball tourneys this weekend, and my elbow's still killing me.
03:07Have you been doing the physical therapy exercises I gave you?
03:10No, they were so boring.
03:11And so are patients who don't listen to me yet. I keep at it every day.
03:15How's the urinary flow? It's still just a dribble.
03:17I hear the young guys in the urinals next to me peeing like racehorses.
03:22Well, have you been doing the kegel exercises we discussed?
03:24It's very simple. You just imagine your penis is a straw, and you just...
03:28Kegels? For me?
03:30Mm-hmm.
03:31Well, that's just too much. It's too much.
03:33My wife gives me food. Now you want me to do kegels?
03:36Let me guess. You still have lice.
03:38Why else would I be here?
03:40And no, you can't make me shave my head.
03:43This hair is my signature look.
03:45I never suggested you shave your head.
03:47I told you to use permethrin shampoo.
03:49Oh, okay. Wait, what?
03:54Show of hands.
03:56How many people are here to complain about something I've already seen them for?
04:01And how many of you actually done the thing I asked you to do?
04:06Great.
04:07Now, who's next to waste my time? Elaine?
04:09Oh, hi, Doc. Elaine, uh, senior...
04:12Unless that sentence ends with saving a life, stop talking.
04:16Best here.
04:18A what?
04:20Just drop me a pin.
04:22I know. It's so exciting, but I'm listening. I'm a little too...
04:25Louisa!
04:26Oh, uh, here, get on the bus.
04:28Martin, hi.
04:30Are you all right?
04:30Oh, yeah. Yeah, we're okay. I mean, you know, except for the dead guy that Mark found in the bog.
04:35I heard.
04:36Well, why was Mark in a bog?
04:37Martin, shame you're visiting our bog under such grim circumstances.
04:41You went in too? Are you aware that bogs are a natural incubator for gangrene?
04:45That's fine. We do this every year. Besides, no one's lost a toe yet.
04:48That's right.
04:50Doc, you made it.
04:51Big day for Port Winner.
04:52Very first mystery corpse. It's kind of a big milestone if you really think about it.
04:57Yeah, and I'm still trying to figure out why you needed me here. No one's hurt.
05:01Right. Things are going fast and furious. The medical examiner's on our honeymoon,
05:04so she deputized you to run point on the forensic investigation.
05:08Well, absolutely not. I'm not a coroner, and I have a full afternoon of patients.
05:11Oh, well, if you want to move my blood lighting to tomorrow...
05:13I'm not clearing my schedule for an autopsy, okay? My job is to take care of living bodies, not dead
05:18ones.
05:19Right, but today the law says that it is. The medical examiner needs us to ID the body,
05:24collect DNA, and figure out cause of death. She also said something else, too, that was very important.
05:31Okay.
05:34How about tomorrow, first thing?
05:36Oh, yeah. That'll be fun.
05:39I mean, fine. It'll be fine. Yeah, that's totally fine. I'll get to see you there.
05:46Hey, Doc, where do you want me to drop off the dead guy?
05:50Oh, right. That was the important thing. Okay, so we have to store the body for a few days.
05:55Figure we just use the old doc's office, blast the AC.
05:58Unless he has an appointment, he's not coming in, and it's not nearly cold enough.
06:02Okay, so what are we looking for then?
06:03Somewhere refrigerated, big enough to conduct an autopsy.
06:06Whatever you say, Doc. Whatever you say, Doc.
06:16Okay, here we go. Yep, we got it. Okay.
06:18Appreciate you lending us the walk-in.
06:20Yeah, it's the least we could do.
06:22Oh, I hope the feet don't break off.
06:23No, just watch it, watch it, watch it.
06:24We almost get shut down by the health department over our sweet little brisket,
06:28and now we're emptying out our walk-in for a dead body.
06:33Greg, don't be heartless. This man deserves a proper port when welcome, dead or not.
06:39Besides, Martin's not going to snitch. Again!
06:46Looks like a haunted potato.
06:48Be sure to add that to the autopsy report.
06:52A puncture wound about the size of a bullet.
06:56Just like the guy I saw. It's our Dan Cetera in 82.
06:59Oh, I love your wild days. Is that when Madonna stole your cab?
07:02Please. When didn't Madonna steal my cab?
07:05No one comes in this room without me or Sheriff Milo, understood?
07:08Why, Doc? Doc's right. We gotta lock it down.
07:11Not here. Hey, hey, guys, what's happening?
07:14This man may have been murdered.
07:23Tell us, has there been murder in Port Wendt?
07:26Is there a killer on the loop?
07:27Are we even safe? Are we in danger?
07:29We be walking in here.
07:30Who got shot?
07:31Everyone, please stay calm.
07:37Everyone, please stay calm.
07:39As Sheriff, it's my duty to protect Port Wendt and to keep it real.
07:46We found a bullet hole in the dead dude. Yes, it might be murder.
07:49Unbelievable.
07:50What?
07:51It's scary, but don't worry. I've organized Port Wendt's first ever neighborhood watch,
07:57and I've nominated Sarah to lead it.
08:03And of course, our very own Dr. Martin Best is going to lead the forensic investigation,
08:08so if you have any questions or leads, please feel free to come to either one of us, okay?
08:13Questions? Yeah, buddy. Who's the prime suspect? Got any leads?
08:18It's still early days.
08:21Figures. Incompetence everywhere.
08:23What should we do?
08:25I put a lot of thought into that.
08:27Doc?
08:35You all want to stay alive?
08:37Oh, yeah.
08:39Then do your physical therapy.
08:41Ronnie, take your insulin.
08:44You're going to end up like that guy in the fridge.
08:45Come on, Ronnie.
08:47Every single one of you.
08:50More dietary fiber.
09:00Wait a minute. Who is the dead guy?
09:02Elaine, slow down. I'm going out to do the autopsy.
09:05I move Louisa to the morning, reschedule the rest of my patients. Can you handle that?
09:08Yes, yes, yeah, totally.
09:10But Doc, a murder in Port Wendt?
09:13Like we're living in our own crime show.
09:18Hey, don't tell anyone, but I'm very excited.
09:23I've always wanted a real crime to solve so I can be taken seriously.
09:28You know, not just the guy who comes and gets the owl out of your attic.
09:32Okay, you should seal up that bag.
09:35And what's left?
09:36Tissue sample.
09:38Right.
09:40Okay.
09:53I thought there'd be some blood.
09:56Blood coagulates after death.
09:58So why is it so squishy?
09:59Because of the bog water, cold, acidic, low oxygen, preserves tissue, but not blood flow.
10:07Oh, so it's like working on a live body, but without any of the blood.
10:10Exactly.
10:12So when do you think he died?
10:14That is a good question, my friend.
10:17He could have died weeks ago, months ago, or even years ago.
10:21That really opens up the pool of potential victims.
10:24Mm-hmm.
10:26And suspects.
10:28Oh.
10:29Okay.
10:31Okay.
10:31Time in bog, TBD.
10:34Uh, male.
10:36Height, 5'10".
10:38No tattoos.
10:40Red.
10:41Hair.
10:43Nah.
10:44Well, maybe.
10:47Okay, hang tight, doc.
10:48I gotta go...
10:49I gotta go detective something real quick.
10:52Sure.
10:54I'll just be done in a second.
11:08Move aside and let the man go through.
11:11Let the man go through.
11:13Move aside and let the man go through.
11:16Let the man go through.
11:17Move aside and let the man...
11:21Greg, get it together.
11:23Greg.
11:24I'm sorry.
11:25Shh.
11:26Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
11:29Is that Josephine Alcott's car in Ronnie Winslow's driveway?
11:35Wow.
11:37The dust hasn't even settled on his poor wife's grave.
11:40I don't think the casseroles are the only thing she's been cooking up.
11:44Casserolling the hay.
11:46Oh, I come to risk it.
11:47Oh, I come to risk it.
11:47It's all right.
11:50A dead body was found in the bog.
11:52Come on, people.
11:54Think.
11:55Who's our John Doe?
11:57Who do we like for this?
11:59Portland isn't just the best place for lobster rolls.
12:01It's a town full of secrets.
12:04Stay tuned.
12:06I'm Detective Elaine Denton.
12:08And this is Claw and Order.
12:11B.O.G.
12:11Dun-dun.
12:13Yeah.
12:14Yeah.
12:15Yeah.
12:15Elaine, you're pretty good at this.
12:17Really.
12:18And that jacket is really hot.
12:21Oh, yeah?
12:22Yeah, I really like it.
12:26Oh.
12:27Hi.
12:27Hi, Doc.
12:28We were just...
12:30Carry on.
12:32What?
12:33Wait a minute.
12:33What's the scoop?
12:34Who's the dead guy?
12:34And how did he die?
12:36Not sure yet.
12:36Still working on it.
12:38You two have a good night.
12:39What?
12:40Wait, what?
12:41What is that?
12:43Were you actually in a good mood?
12:45Why wouldn't I be?
12:46I finally have a patient who doesn't talk back.
12:49You did this?
12:50Uh, yeah.
12:53Yeah, it's pretty neat, right?
12:55If only you were this good at your real job.
12:58Night.
13:05It's scarier when he's nice.
13:14I know that it's not the best time.
13:18What's wrong with Geneva?
13:23We don't know for sure, but we think the body that we found might be
13:28Bruce.
13:30Same height, red hair, and he may have been shot.
13:34Oh my goodness, my Brucie.
13:37I know this is a lot to take in.
13:40When was the last time you saw him?
13:43Thanksgiving.
13:44A few years ago.
13:46You know that.
13:47Everyone knows that.
13:48Sure, but you never told us where he went or why he left.
13:52Yeah, I didn't want to talk about it then.
13:54And I sure don't want to talk about it now.
13:58What's going on here?
14:00Uh, official police business.
14:01Well, I'm the neighborhood watch and she's my best friend.
14:04What's going on?
14:05I don't want you to faint when I tell you this.
14:07Just spit it out, Mark.
14:09We might have found Bruce's body.
14:12In the bog?
14:13Mm-hmm.
14:14Geneva, do you think that might be possible?
14:17Yes.
14:19I did it.
14:20I killed Brucie.
14:22What?
14:23Yep.
14:24I shot my husband and I chucked him in the bog.
14:30Okay.
14:30Okay.
14:31I think I'm gonna need a minute.
14:33Wait, wait.
14:33Come on.
14:34Do your job.
14:35Lock me up.
14:36What?
14:47I'm busy, Elaine.
14:48Oh, it's, uh, it's Louisa.
14:54Hey.
14:54Louisa, right.
14:56Yeah.
14:56Your appointment.
14:57Uh-huh.
14:58How are you?
14:59Um, I'm a little nervous.
15:02Me too.
15:02You are?
15:03Oh, uh, no.
15:04I'm sorry.
15:04I don't know why I said that.
15:06Oh, okay.
15:07Of course not.
15:08Bloodletting is an easy procedure.
15:10Oh, good.
15:12Elaine didn't come in with you.
15:14She's late.
15:15Uh, she, um, she stopped at the Salty Breeze.
15:17Said she needed her, uh, Danish fix.
15:20Oh, good, good.
15:21I'd hate for work to get in the way of her breakfast treats.
15:25How long should this take, you think?
15:28It's just, I should probably get to school soon.
15:30Right, I'll just find a needle.
15:34Finding a needle.
15:42So, how's, uh, how's school?
15:45Busy.
15:46I'm, I'm helping Principal Holloway with budget cuts.
15:49You know, I'm rationing out glue sticks and pricing out pencils.
15:53And...
15:56Mm-hmm.
16:03Yeah.
16:03Okay, let's just...
16:04Oh, yeah.
16:07Mm-hmm.
16:10Just...
16:11Mm-hmm.
16:23Is, is something wrong?
16:24Yes, you, well, are very thin.
16:30Oh.
16:31Your veins are very thin.
16:32I'm gonna need you to come back when you're more hydrated.
16:36Oh, oh my gosh!
16:38Dr. Reese always loved my veins, so.
16:40Yeah, well then, Dr. Reese will have to come back
16:42from the dead and draw your blood.
16:43No, no, no, that's not what I mean.
16:44I just, I just don't think I can keep rescheduling.
16:46Hello?
16:48What?
16:50Are you kidding?
16:51I, I'll be right there.
16:53What, what's going on now?
16:55It, Mark, he arrested Geneva.
16:58Have, have a lane reschedule.
17:04All right, you weirdos.
17:06Five bucks, five minutes.
17:09And keep it down.
17:11And don't touch it!
17:12Oh my God, look at his feet.
17:16Want to get a pic?
17:17Uh, uh, photos are five bucks extra.
17:19Extra?
17:20Per person.
17:21Okay, Boomer.
17:22Thanks.
17:23Tell all your friends.
17:24Ready?
17:27Geneva, walk us through it.
17:29How'd you do it?
17:30What gun?
17:31Mark, if I keep answering your questions,
17:33I'll never finish this role.
17:35And I told you already.
17:37At home, with Bruce's hunting rifle,
17:40and then I tossed him in the bog.
17:42You really tossed a 200 pound man into a bog on your own?
17:45I used my core.
17:47Geneva, how am I supposed to tell my mom this?
17:49This is gonna kill her.
17:51What else have you been lying about?
17:53Your goldfish didn't run away.
17:57Wait.
17:58He didn't join a rock band.
18:01Mark, better not to know.
18:02You and my mom told me that he was in a band called Cutie and the Goldfish.
18:07This is just like so much for me to take in right now.
18:11I'm...
18:11I just...
18:13I never could understand how he got into law enforcement.
18:17Yeah.
18:18Me either.
18:19Geneva, I need to know more about Bruce's medical history in order to confirm his identity.
18:23Did he have any tattoos?
18:25Identifying marks?
18:26Surgeries, perhaps?
18:27Well, he...
18:28He didn't have a spleen or a gallbladder or an appendix.
18:33You know, one of those organs you don't really need.
18:36That's a start.
18:38I still can't believe it.
18:40Geneva, it's not possible.
18:42She was always cagey about why Bruce left.
18:45Never gave a straight answer.
18:46Just one day, he was gone.
18:48Yes.
18:49You can sleep next to someone for 20 years and not have a clue what they're capable of.
18:52I saw Cher without you once.
18:54Once.
18:55It was the farewell tour.
18:56Exactly.
18:57It was the farewell tour.
18:58I have to film a new episode.
19:00This is big news.
19:01This is big news.
19:04Also, these might be your best yet.
19:06What kind of cheese did you use?
19:08If I told you, I'd have to kill you.
19:11Yeah, we can't say that anymore and more.
19:14The truth has clawed its way to the surface.
19:17The Port Wind killer has been caught.
19:19And it's always the ones you least expect.
19:22Until next time, Detective Denton, Claw and Order B.O.G.
19:27Dun-dun.
19:29So good.
19:30What?
19:31Why'd she do it?
19:33Doesn't matter.
19:34Case closed.
19:34Your detective work sucks.
19:36Hey.
19:37Do not sass my girlfriend, okay?
19:39And show some respect for law enforcement.
19:41Girlfriend?
19:42Yeah, I...
19:43Well, I thought...
19:44Al.
19:44We've been over this.
19:46We're frisky friends.
19:47That's it.
19:48Finally.
19:49It's getting interesting.
19:51You know what?
19:52Fine.
19:53Get yourself a new cameraman and another frisky friend.
19:57Hey!
19:58What's a frisky friend?
20:01I...
20:02Five bucks, five minutes a pop.
20:04Quick and quiet, okay?
20:05Bert!
20:06Really?
20:07Are you charging to see the dead body?
20:09This is a tragedy.
20:10Not a carnival sideshow.
20:12I'm just trying to make an honest dollar.
20:14Have you no shame?
20:15The world today?
20:16Hell in a handbasket.
20:18I'm disappointed in all of you.
20:21I take care of George.
20:22You cut me in?
20:23Deal.
20:24Sheriff Mark, cheese it.
20:27What's up?
20:31It's like...
20:31It's like first Bruce,
20:33and then it's my goldfish.
20:35What else is Geneva hiding from me, you know?
20:37Just to be clear,
20:38you actually thought a goldfish could sing?
20:40Well, I had a dog who could read my mind, so...
20:43Anyway, we don't even know if this is Bruce,
20:45or just Geneva having some sort of geriatric delusion.
20:48Did you bring your flashlight?
20:49Of course, Doc.
20:50I never leave home without it.
20:51Where we going?
20:53Just shine it right above the abdomen.
20:57So I checked with Dr. Reese's files,
21:03and Bruce had a colostectomy.
21:08So if this body doesn't have a gallbladder,
21:13it's likely Bruce.
21:15How'd you do this for a living, Doc?
21:18Best job in the world.
21:21You seem different, man.
21:23I don't know.
21:24You seem like more cheerful.
21:25You're starting to make me a little uncomfortable.
21:27I'm just enjoying the work.
21:29It's not a crime.
21:31Thank goodness,
21:32because it would have killed me
21:33to have to arrest you too, Doc.
21:36I knew it.
21:37This isn't Bruce.
21:38Huh?
21:39We always wondered what happened between the two of you.
21:43Yeah.
21:43You were so secretive after he left town,
21:47but we didn't think you'd killed him.
21:49Oh, this darn cable stitch.
21:51And now the whole town knows
21:53that you're not just a cake-baking sweetheart.
21:56You're a cold-blooded husband-killer
21:58who's going to spend the rest of her life in prison.
22:01And I'm going to have to redo this whole row.
22:04Geneva Larson,
22:05you've never botched a cable stitch in your life.
22:09All right.
22:12I didn't kill Brucey.
22:15Then why did you turn yourself in?
22:17Because I'd rather rot in here
22:18than have everyone know the truth.
22:20What's worse than a murder charge?
22:24At Thanksgiving,
22:25when Bruce left,
22:29he left with my sister.
22:32Bonnie?
22:34Well, it's always the ones you don't expect.
22:37I haven't spoken to either of them since.
22:40Two people I love most in the world,
22:43they chose each other
22:44and left me with cold turkey
22:47and a broken heart.
22:50But the truth I really don't want to admit
22:54is that I am old, alone, and unloved.
23:01Oh, Geneva, don't be crazy.
23:03We all love you
23:05and we're not going anywhere.
23:08Okay?
23:09And you know,
23:10everybody has a secret or two.
23:14You know what I just saw?
23:17Josephine and Ronnie going after each other
23:19like dogs in heat.
23:20Really?
23:23She sure is baking a lot of casseroles.
23:26Now we know why.
23:33What do you mean it's not Bruce?
23:35Bruce doesn't have a gallbladder.
23:37This body does.
23:41Wait.
23:43Give me a second.
23:45Can you shine your light more over here?
23:48Yeah.
23:54What was a marble doing in there?
23:57I think this body was in the bog
23:59a lot longer than we thought.
24:02Good eye, Martin.
24:04It's a musket ball, 18th century.
24:07This might be an early Port Wenian,
24:09like Jeremiah or Roderick or, nay,
24:13Archibald no-knows-when.
24:14This cadaver was centuries old.
24:16We discovered a bog man
24:18on this side of the Atlantic.
24:19I mean, that's the headline.
24:21This is incredible.
24:22Wow, this case just took a turn.
24:24We have a lot of work to do.
24:25What for?
24:26The investigation's over.
24:27This is now a scientific discovery.
24:29Whoa, whoa, whoa.
24:29Not so fast.
24:30This is still a homicide.
24:32400-year-old murder.
24:33It's my first cold case.
24:35Mark is right.
24:35I would like to know who killed
24:37this early Port Wenian too.
24:39It's part of our, what?
24:40History.
24:41History, Doc.
24:42Fine.
24:42As long as you leave me out of it,
24:43knock yourselves out.
24:44I have to make a call.
24:45Don't worry about nothing, Doc.
24:46You know I got this.
24:47Thanks, partner.
24:48Geneva didn't do it!
24:49Sorry, Jessica Fletcher.
24:51That's old news.
24:52What?
24:52Hi, Norman.
24:53It's Dr. Martin Best.
24:54Look at this.
24:55Yes, yes.
24:56It's been a while.
24:57Listen, I need a favor.
24:59I was wondering...
24:59What's all the hubba?
25:01Geneva didn't kill Bruce.
25:03The dead body might be
25:03in early Port Wenian,
25:04and I'm so excited.
25:05Wait, there's no murder?
25:06No mystery.
25:07It's a cold case,
25:08straight out of the freezer,
25:09right onto the grill.
25:11How are we gonna load these shirts?
25:13Honey, murder is still a murder.
25:15Hey, what are you two whispering about?
25:18Repairs.
25:19Come on, Bert.
25:19Let's go tighten the loose hinge.
25:23Yeah, the hinge.
25:23Great.
25:24Thanks, Norman.
25:25I'll send those peat samples
25:26over to the lab right away.
25:28Okay, got it.
25:29I'll ask.
25:30Bye.
25:33Can I have everyone's attention?
25:36Hello?
25:37Excuse me?
25:38Who wants to make a thousand dollars?
25:42Hmm.
25:42Well, at least you're predictable.
25:44I just got off the phone with a colleague,
25:46a forensic anthropologist from Harvard.
25:48Yeah, get on with it.
25:49We know you went to Harvard.
25:51Go Crimson.
25:52We just discovered a rare bog man
25:54who could be hundreds of years old.
25:56It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity
25:58to study typhonomy and...
25:59Jump to the part where we get paid.
26:01Right.
26:02Researchers want to do DNA testing
26:04to identify any living relatives,
26:07and they'll pay a thousand dollars
26:08per confirmed match.
26:10So what do we do?
26:10Just pile in a van, go down to Boston?
26:13Nope.
26:13I'll open my office for anyone
26:14who wants to do genetic testing.
26:15Who's interested?
26:17Cool.
26:18Great.
26:19Elaine will coordinate DNA collection.
26:21Absolutely.
26:24Detective Elaine Denton here.
26:26Mystery's not over yet.
26:28Who's the old dead dude?
26:29Was he still murdered?
26:30And most importantly,
26:32who here in Port Wynn has found their bog daddy?
26:34Their bog grampy.
26:36Bog father, that's it.
26:38Only time and some DNA samples will tell.
26:42Need a new frisky friend for your show?
26:44I'm good with mysteries.
26:46Ew, definitely no.
26:47Don't say that.
26:47But I do need a new cameraman.
26:50Let's talk.
26:53See?
26:53That's how they get you.
26:55One day they take your DNA,
26:56the next day you're in a police lineup
26:58for car theft in Kalamazoo.
27:00Come on, Dad.
27:01You love a chance to make some quick cash.
27:03The money's not that important.
27:06Meet you out back for a peek at the bog, man.
27:10See?
27:11Come on.
27:12I know you too well.
27:13We should do it.
27:14Your DNA leads to my DNA.
27:16And I can't risk it.
27:18Just don't do it.
27:23Glad you came in voluntarily, Gilbert.
27:26I'd hate to have to subpoena you.
27:27I don't know what you're talking about,
27:29but you're making me very nervous.
27:32In a small town, everybody's hiding something.
27:35I'm Detective Elaine Denton.
27:38Stay tuned for the next episode of Claw and Order.
27:40The Bogfather.
27:43Kinda stiff on that take.
27:45Yeah, I got a better one in me.
27:46New cameraman?
27:47Already?
27:48That's fast.
27:49That's show business.
27:50If my dad asked if I came in,
27:52don't tell him, okay?
27:52He's been really weird about that stuff.
27:55Not a problem.
27:55It's like you're not even here.
27:57It's like you're not even here.
28:00I'm gonna shoot this.
28:02Lots of unspoken tension.
28:04Can it, Cronk?
28:05Yeah, Cronk.
28:10I promise I have been pounding water all day today like it's my job.
28:13We'll see if your veins agree.
28:17We'll be removing a pint to lower your ferritin levels.
28:21Should take about a half hour.
28:27Make a fist.
28:28I'm glad we got this in today.
28:29This morning you seemed very, uh...
28:31Pasadena?
28:37Wait, what?
28:38Oh, this is just how we do it.
28:40It's perfectly normal.
28:43It's textbook normal.
28:51Did I do something wrong?
28:53Offend you somehow?
28:55What?
28:56I don't know.
28:56It just feels like you can't stand being in the same room with me anymore.
29:01You know what?
29:02I don't have the time to deal with the emotional insecurities of every patient.
29:06I have to collect peat samples.
29:08Excuse me?
29:09What?
29:10What?
29:11I have important research to do and I'm running late.
29:14You know, it's funny.
29:16Um...
29:17This is the most engaged I have ever seen you and it's over a corpse.
29:21Yes, and you want to know why?
29:22Because, unlike humans, corpses don't talk back.
29:25They don't tease.
29:26They don't gossip.
29:27Their tender little feelings don't get hurt.
29:29They aren't a constant tsunami of needs and opinions.
29:32And, at least with a corpse, I won't be surprised when it doesn't listen to me.
29:37I knew it.
29:38I never thought you were a right fit for Port Win, and you're proving me right.
29:47What did you just do?
29:48I have to go.
29:49Where?
29:50Somewhere I can be alone.
29:53What does that mean?
29:54I have to go.
29:56I have to go.
29:57I have to go.
30:01I have to go.
30:06What?
30:11I will come.
30:16Oh, God.
30:19I have to go away.
30:23And so...
30:52You
31:00You
31:37Two
31:38Two
31:38Two
31:39It was good, right?
31:40So creepy
31:41Oh my god, his hair
31:42The bog man
31:43Tell your friends
31:45Right through here, ladies
31:46Right in there
31:47Honey, I'm looking for the man
31:51Greg Harrison
31:52You are NOT
31:53Doing what I think you're doing
31:55Do not judge me until you see the electric bill
31:57That is dirty money
31:59Costs are up, margins are down
32:00So every dirty dollar helps, I'd show you the spreadsheet
32:03No, no, no, no, I'm just gonna get a raging headache
32:05I try to protect you, my love
32:07I know
32:09You hate to see me bogged down by details
32:12Oh
32:13Okay
32:15You make enough to fix the oven light?
32:17Yes, and perhaps enough to splurge
32:20Unnamed brand mayo
32:22Greg
32:24You're such a tease
32:27Two more
32:27Hey, Miss Dana
32:28It was good, right?
32:30Tell your friends
32:30Tell your friends
32:32Any words from Harvard?
32:33Not yet
32:34Oh, the DNA lab sent a couple flags from the genetic screenings
32:41Can you have Al come in?
32:43Al?
32:45Do I have to?
32:46What do you think, detective?
32:50Hey, thanks, Greg
32:51Thanks, my love
32:52How's it going, guys?
32:53A lot of dead ends
32:54No pun intended
32:55Wait, wait, wait
32:56Check this
32:56Battle of Machias
32:57Fought in Maine during the Revolutionary War
33:01Musketballs
33:0118th century
33:02It lines up
33:03Strong working theory, George
33:05Adding it to the list
33:06Glad you're having fun
33:08But we opened in five
33:09Yeah, yeah, yeah
33:09Going ahead without me
33:13Last time I let him near the History Channel
33:17So, the DNA testing shows you have genetic markers for Marfan syndrome
33:22What? Am I okay?
33:24Absolutely
33:24You're gonna be fine
33:25No, it's...
33:26It's a connective tissue disorder
33:28Now, while it can be serious, your signs are the manageable ones
33:31Just tall, thin, flexible joints, nearsightedness
33:35You wear corrective lenses, right?
33:36Yeah
33:36Listen, it's a good thing you took the DNA test
33:39Now we know, so we can keep an eye on it
33:41But again, there's absolutely nothing to worry about here
33:43Okay?
33:44See you at your end of physical
33:47Wait, Doc, um, you said it's genetic?
33:51Correct
33:52And is that from my mom's side or my dad's?
33:58In this case, from your father's side
34:01Okay, well, he's built like a truck and he's got perfect vision
34:06Yes
34:10So does that mean my dad is not my dad?
34:19Al, look
34:24Family isn't just... genetics
34:26You guys!
34:28The Bogman results are here
34:29This is gonna be so exciting
34:30We'll read it out at the Salty Breeze
34:32It'll be so fun
34:32And really good content for my show
34:34So, Al, maybe we should just...
34:37What?
34:37Happened
34:39Is he okay?
34:40You'll have to ask him
34:42Al!
34:42Al!
34:43Al!
34:43Wait!
34:44What are you...
34:45Come on!
34:46Al!
34:47Just leave it, Elaine
34:53It's just a great photograph
34:56Oh, this is so exciting
35:02Martin
35:03Lisa
35:05What was that about?
35:07Dr. Patient Confidentiality
35:09You just can't help being a jackass, can you?
35:14Dear Portwenians
35:15We gather to honor history
35:19And the miracle of DNA testing
35:22May I have ye olde envelope
35:28Oh, can I get a drum roll, please?
35:36Please
35:37And...
35:38The results...
35:40Are...
35:47Harvard has confirmed
35:48There is one living descendant of the Portwen Bogman
35:53And that person is...
35:55Oh, snap!
35:56Martin Best!
35:57What?
35:59You're...
36:00You're kidding, it's Martin?
36:02What about Aunt Sarah?
36:04It just says your name
36:06Must be on your mother's side
36:08But I didn't submit DNA
36:10I may have borrowed some hairs from your hairbrush
36:14Elaine, that's a complete violation of privacy
36:16Not to mention illegal on several levels
36:18Martin, come on
36:19Face it
36:20This town's in your blood
36:25It's a good thing we didn't send in our DNA, huh?
36:29You alright, kiddo?
36:31Yeah, Dad
36:32Glad we didn't
36:33Based on historical records
36:36Harvard believes
36:37That the Bogman is a man who might be named
36:40James Brewster
36:42I know that name
36:43Yeah?
36:44You just said James Brewster
36:45I know that name, I know that name
36:46Hold on
36:47Okay
36:47Wait, yeah, okay
36:48Right here
36:49In Nonos Wen's journal
36:50He wrote
36:51The 17th of June, 1759
36:53This day ended in trouble with a fray
36:56Betwixt James Brewster
36:57And our good townsman
36:59A notorious recluse
37:01Brewster mainly keeps to himself
37:03In a dreary shack by the bog
37:05Yet always finds cause to quarrel whenever he can
37:10Yeah, he sounds like he's related to Martin
37:12Yeah!
37:13This sounds like Doc
37:14Ha-ha
37:16No
37:17He kinda does
37:19Martin
37:20Wait, wait, okay
37:21Wait, there's more
37:22Apparently a lot of people wanted him dead
37:24So much so
37:25That Archibald, no knows when
37:27Challenged Brewster to a duel
37:29And killed him
37:31Whoa
37:33Wow, I think I just found the bog man's killer
37:36I think we just solved the case
37:38I think we just solved the case
37:40No, right?
37:42All right
37:44Yeah!
37:51Hey
37:54What is going on with you?
37:57Where you gonna die?
37:58Because if you're gonna die, that's gonna make me want to die
38:01And I'm really too young and too cute to die.
38:05No, I'm not gonna die.
38:07I'm sorry if I, if I scared you.
38:09Okay, so then what did Martin tell you?
38:15Um, he said I'm, uh, double-jointed.
38:21That's it?
38:23Look, I...
38:26I'm sorry that I called you my frisky friend.
38:31I didn't mean that.
38:32I mean, I did mean that.
38:34But when I thought that you were gonna die, it just, it made me realize that you are more than
38:43just a frisky friend.
38:47So, are you my girlfriend?
38:49Or, or no?
38:53Yes.
38:54Yeah?
38:55Fine.
38:56Okay.
38:57I'm your girlfriend.
39:32Evening, bog man.
39:34Good night, Dr. Bogman.
39:40Watch out.
39:42It's the bog man.
39:43Stop.
39:44It's like so sad.
39:46We always knew he was the saddest man alive.
39:48And now it's like, fact.
39:50Come on.
39:51Of course you fucking can't stop.
40:31Martin?
40:32Martin?
40:34Are you okay?
40:36I'm here to apologize.
40:38Oh.
40:39The way I spoke to you at my office, it was wrong.
40:43Have a good night.
40:46Wait.
40:48That's it?
40:49That's your apology?
40:50I'm not sure what else to say.
40:52Why can't you just talk to me?
40:54I mean, tell me, what's going on with you?
41:03I have a hard time with blood, phobia.
41:18Oh.
41:19About blood, a blood phobia, if you will.
41:24Okay, um, wow, um, this entire time?
41:33But you're a doctor.
41:37A surgeon who can't stand the sight of blood.
41:39I came here hoping that I could still practice medicine.
41:45It's proven harder to do than I thought.
41:48That's why Elaine assists me.
41:53And why act like a lunatic every time I try to take your blood?
41:56I see.
42:02So, why tell me now?
42:12I don't want to be the bog man.
42:26Well, your dog seems to love you.
42:36He's not my dog.
42:37He sure seems like your dog.
43:17I don't want to be the bog man.
43:27You
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