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Watch Funny AF with Kevin Hart Season 1 Episode 3 online in HD on Dailymotion (2026).
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00:08all these decisions vetted out it wasn't easy it came with the fucking conversation of extreme
00:15back-and-forth we we said that we were going to come out with a handful a handful was five
00:19but we made a decision to do something was just made up on the spot we're not done we still
00:26got
00:26more we're going to take six instead of five so the sixth person going to callbacks is
00:36ray yeah i gotta give ray i gotta give way a shot as well man you know originality it's rare
00:50we've
00:50all done the same shit we all do the same shit so when you find a unique twist i think
00:55that should
00:55be highlighted i got it i thought it was dope as fuck which is why i think you're deserving of
00:59the
00:59next stage of the competition okay i think i represented myself very well but i'll be back
01:07i'll be better because this motivation i feel like i should be moving on to the next round but
01:13here we are i'm trying to keep it cute right now it is you know it sucks but uh what
01:22can you do you
01:23continue on that's that's six but you know what this is my show my rules and i want to give
01:29someone
01:30the shot pat i want to give you what i would consider to be our bubble spot which means my
01:36alternate we need to see what happens in chicago if i feel like i need more talent you'll be my
01:41first
01:41call what i want to see is you to come back and be a little more precise in the understanding
01:46of
01:46that five minute set and what it's supposed to be i understand what kevin hart told me i look forward
01:51to if i get another chance to leave no doubt to those that were not mentioned i can't say it
01:57enough
01:57please everybody relish in the idea that you guys did your job for those that we did choose relish in
02:03the moment that it's not over for you i look forward to seeing what you do next uh this was
02:07a dope ass
02:07showcase man so thank you all for participating you guys were great i appreciate the time
02:11all right thank you guys let's go fine great job
02:20this la showcase was great i chose six comedians to go through instead of five so i feel good but
02:26i
02:26haven't seen chicago so you know who i feel good about today i may feel not as good about tomorrow
02:32that's the beauty of it being the competition so i hope that the competition gets better
02:36and it gets more difficult to make choices because that means we have that much amazing talent
02:39good job bro you crushed it too you crushed it i just want to call you and tell you that
02:43i
02:44i made it to the next round in the competition it's pretty exciting
02:49she said look at my new shirt that i'm wearing oh it looks good anyway back to the netflix thing
02:55remember i said remember back to the netflix thing i made it to the next round
03:05so many comedy people just do comedy and they don't live a life i know and they go every night
03:10to the comedy club and i'm like but you can't what are you talking about yeah the people sitting in
03:14the
03:14audience are all having a ton of different life experiences yeah you have to have some of those
03:18experiences you have to go to prog or to home depot to get those experiences so that when stupid
03:24things happen to me i'm like okay how can i incorporate that ultimately it's about the lab
03:29it's about the material when my mom passed away my dad passed away i went straight to the stage and
03:34found material to use in the moment right that's that's how i dealt with the cemetery you should
03:39have gone to the funeral well after after the funeral when i finally went to the stage right after
03:44the funeral that there was i put about a fucking week in between the funeral was at the comedy
03:50the coffin was right there was a week
04:01we've hit new york we've hit la narrowed our selections down to 11 and now i'm in our final city
04:07and our nationwide search to find who's funny a.m we've invited comedians from the
04:13south and all over the midwest including the locals to meet us in the windy city there's no one i'd
04:19rather do this search with than my guy kumel nagiani kumel started by doing open mics here he turned his
04:26experience into an oscar-nominated movie became a marvel superhero and is now one of hollywood's
04:31brightest filmmakers he's had a hell of a career and it all started here in chicago how you doing good
04:36welcome to chicago excited man all right you got some good shit here too right yeah we got a lot
04:41of great
04:41comment for me the most exciting feeling in the world is watching someone i've never seen before
04:45and becoming a fan well then let's do our job today all right let's do it i'm excited to see
04:50who's here
04:51who am i laughing yeah who's gonna make us look bad cool here we go well well well the gang
04:58has arrived
04:59my boy they let you wear the jumpsuit they let you wear a canadian tuxedo well that's all i fucking
05:05had you know it's the ladies the ladies i gotta be surrounded by them you know what about you where
05:11you from south side chicago right here baby what's comedy like there uh it depends on what side of the
05:18town you're on see chicago comedy is kind of segregated right so you got the north side comedy where you'll
05:23find chris and then you'll got you got the south side comedy where you'll find us right right right
05:29right right right chicago breeds a very special type of comedian like hannibal burrs john belushi
05:40and the late great bernie mack chicago comedy it's an edge it's a we should be in the top of
05:47the conversation
05:47when you think comedy guys this is an exciting time because of our love for the craft we want to
06:01help find new people that could possibly be next right i want to say i think comedy competitions
06:08are bullshit i really do i've done them i i hate them contests are hard and i know you guys
06:16are
06:16probably nervous but i did this because kevin really really really loves comedy and wants to
06:22give a shot to all of you right we're taking a handful of comedians that will represent our chicago
06:27portion of this competition and then those people will go to callbacks in la all right handful doesn't
06:33mean a handful everybody can't go that's the reality of it so the winner will see a netflix comedy
06:44special so show up show out man okay i'm excited to see you guys have fun have fun
06:55one thing that you know and the same thing i know there's nothing more valuable than a good five
07:00minute set in the beginning of the week a tight five oh my god is what it's what you were
07:04built on
07:04yeah when i did i did letterman i did kimmel i did conan tight tight it's our time now yeah
07:09it's time
07:10we're locking in though oh to perform at home in front of my people means the world to me one
07:17of
07:17the things that i talk about on stage is myself my family the day-to-day operations of how you
07:22navigate
07:23being a 40-year-old grandmother i plan to just literally bring them right into my living room
07:28and give them a taste of my organized chaos one joke at a time yo
07:39y'all better get ready because i'm ready let's go it's that time y'all i lied i'm shaking
07:50it was just a hype for them i lied i feel anxious i'm nervous the butterflies are there
07:55but it don't matter i'm still like let's do it let's get it for the one only miss corey baird
08:12just want y'all to see just how fly i am y'all see it
08:17y'all see it and see the young girls are they they confused because i need y'all to know
08:21what
08:21grandmothers look like where are my grandmothers at gone are the days of the moo-moos
08:29bitch we outside we not watching no more kids we catching flights now we we popping we popping
08:37passports that's what we do and i keep trying to be nice to my daughter my daughter had two kids
08:44and
08:44she's a great mother like she stayed at home with her babies she did what she had to do and
08:48one day
08:48she called me and she said mom can the babies come over i just want to go out with my
08:53friends and i had
08:54to let her know i said listen those are my grandbabies and as long as i got an address
08:58bitch they can come over here anytime that they want to now i gotta watch what the i say
09:05do y'all know this little had packed a note in the diaper bag like i didn't raise five kids
09:13all
09:13motherfucking ready like i don't know what i'm doing and they said hey mom this is emily's food
09:18and her feeding schedule please do not divert first of all where the you learned that word from
09:26but you went to public school i did all of your spelling tests divert was never on there
09:31it was never fucking on there in this bag there was a a a little package and it said sweet
09:37potatoes
09:38squash carrots and on the very top it said quinoa okay so listen come on come on i don't even
09:47know
09:47what the fuck it is an animal vegetable or mineral i don't know if i'm supposed to sprinkle the shit
09:52on
09:52huh huh you say it's what k what bitch ain't no k or no w in that
10:02q-u-i-n-o-a is queen noah i know that much
10:08you come get this fucking baby you trying to raise a credit score
10:14come get this fucking queen noah and you know what while you edit take the i-kai berry out of
10:19here too
10:19because i don't know what the fuck that is
10:24i what you say i'm sorry girl fuck you
10:31a-c-a-i spell i-kai i ain't never seen i-kai berry i know strawberry blackberry blueberry
10:40berry white bitch them the berries i know no shit about no motherfucking i-kai berry
10:47fuck her and fuck them grandkids my name is corey bell i love y'all so much good night
10:53wow look at that very good very good
10:58she's getting a stunning ovation
11:03well she really knew her voice she knew how to get the crowd she was reacting to them
11:07right what the what the fuck just happened bro that's crazy yeah you went nuts i'm not gonna lie
11:15you went i don't even remember if i said my name you did oh my god i set him up
11:21for you though
11:21brother yeah yeah but also too you saw a lot of energy like oh yeah like that was a loud
11:26voice
11:26she grabbed a hold of that crowd from the beginning yes she came out never flagged was just always on
11:32the offensive yes the goal is to try and get a standing ovation in five minutes that's what you
11:36should be going for
11:40they stood up and that was crazy it was i feel amazing i feel amazing i hope i hope kevin
11:47and
11:47and the judges like it i seen her i got so scared my name's caleb elliott i grew up in
11:53north
11:53carolina you know i'm a young person but i'm an old comic 28 years old and i've been doing stand
11:58-up
11:58for 17 years at 14 me and my dad we would drive an hour hour 15 30 minutes every week
12:05just for like
12:06seven minutes of material i would write the jokes and then my dad was like my coach like stand-up
12:12became
12:13my sport and you never think anything else will come up when you're doing it that young
12:20i am nervous about performing in chicago it's different it's the people are different you know
12:26the lifestyle is different but i'm from the country you know i'm from the south i'm excited
12:31to see see if i can keep up with all the chicago comments chicago how y'all doing my name
12:38is caleb
12:38elliott i'm from north carolina so i'm not used to the chicago ways beautiful woman in here too good
12:43to see y'all that's fantastic i'm single just in case anybody please i um i'm excited i'm trying to
12:53get better i'm trying to get better at flirting like i don't have no game i'm trying to get better
12:58that's been game recently i was in new york and i did a show in new york after one of
13:01the shows
13:02i'm excited to tell you after one of the shows uh this girl came up to me she was hitting
13:05on me
13:05after one of the okay yeah hold your applause no she was she was flirting on me it was very
13:16cool it was
13:17very cool i i do not have a joke about that i've just been telling people so it was so
13:25exciting i
13:25didn't know what to do man i was scared i was scared because i'm in the game my friends like
13:31bro you got
13:31to flirt you got to say something cool back and i was like i said girl who did you vote
13:35for like i don't
13:36know what to say like days are days always been tough for me just because i'm i'm i'm cute
13:45i don't know y'all stop y'all stop stop flirting with me no it's i'm i'm adorable
13:55but i don't i don't want to be
13:59because i'm i'm a man
14:03i am i'm a grown adult male this is this is i'm full grown this is as big as i
14:11get
14:13i wish i was sexy man wish i you know wish i was like a sexy dude you know what
14:17i'm saying you
14:17know i'm sorry i'm sorry i try to impersonate a sexy dude laughing you know you know you know
14:27you gotta rub your chest too if you say that's cool man that's cool i don't have a i don't
14:36have a
14:36chest so i can't man i'm caleb billy y'all were great man thank y'all so much
14:44we did a whole set about one thing i i like the awkwardness i like the self-deprecation there was
14:50an innocence to it but a vulnerability and a like and i think the awkwardness is hard because he would
14:54sometimes let things sit for a second before he broke it that takes a lot of confidence stayed in
15:00just sit in silence so that was great i wish i could do it again it's weird because when you're
15:04doing tapings you're like there's like three parts of your brain working yeah it's like not just
15:09president it's also what do i look like it's what i look like and what am i saying yeah yeah
15:13it's
15:13like it's like inception in your brain yeah two three different because i'm like was i doing like
15:18i know i said the words right but i was like what was i doing come on mr cameraman
15:29i said hey man you can't be like drinking and stuff like that come on
15:36the rattlesnakes and condoms two things we don't with
15:42but you bomb you don't feel bad i don't feel i don't feel a thing there's a there's a lesson
15:47in
15:47it did not bother me i remember every single bomb i've had and it was always the worst night
15:52of my life really oh yeah i didn't have my first bomb until like i was three or four months
15:57in that's
15:57what happened to me too because if it had happened i would have given up if i'd bombed once in
16:02my
16:02first month i would have never done it they weren't even angry at me they were sad for me like
16:05oh he
16:06thinks he could do this it's so bad when you go out and blow all of your good jokes and
16:13then you
16:13look at you have fucking 10 minutes left you're like yeah you didn't like that this is all much
16:18worse than that wait a minute bro wait a minute you ask the right person you might get one now
16:26i'm from cincinnati doing comedy for 14 years i always thought i was the funniest motherfucker in
16:31every room i've ever walked in you warmed up i mean show me look at me i'm in a sweatsuit
16:36do the
16:36warm-up i'm chilling come on man do less that's my whole warm-up calm down be quiet inside remind
16:45yourself you've done all the work already go do that thing you've been doing on stage i'm chilling
16:50i'd much rather lull you to death with a couple of jabs and then hit you with the hook that
16:54you
16:54don't even see coming watch me go bomb go do that thing you've been doing oh all right mike
17:10hell yeah i like being in a room like this man we're all together in this country they try to
17:16tell
17:16us how divided we are right now we're laughing at the same smile at the same
17:19shit you know what i'm saying we're much more unified than they give us credit for you know what
17:23i mean like i tell you one thing can we all come together here and agree that we're at a
17:29point in
17:29this country where we can admit we miss george w bush i forgot how black the room was my bad
17:38ride with me on this you know what i'm saying here's the thing man i'll be reminiscing about the
17:42early 2000s like one thing i'll say right i'll tell you straight up it was easier being a straight
17:46white dude back then you know what i'm saying i mean it's still like you know what i mean but
17:52the weird thing about being a straight white dude right now is we're supposed to act like it's not
17:56going great but like between you and me we're still killing it like i drove here on a boulevard of
18:03green lights like i'm doing fine you know what i'm saying like look what i what i the thing about
18:08being a straight white dude right now is we're supposed to act like things aren't going great but
18:12it is you know what i'm saying we're doing fine but like all i know is
18:20i know this feeling oh you know what i'm saying
18:28talking about talking about being a straight white honky in the middle of this
18:30shit you know what i'm saying it's easy to be like man i'm good everything's fine and then you
18:35get in there and you're like oh i forgot a moment and it that it took it took all the
18:39momentum away
18:40what i saw was dealing with silence took him to a place to where his his rhythm was off he
18:46couldn't
18:46get back to the place you could feel confidence or the place it's tough i've been there but look i'm
18:52not here to highlight the bad i'm here to to find the good and talk about where the potholes present
18:59themselves yeah i wasn't always a comedian i used to be a law professor which is generally how people
19:04become comedians but i was nervous to tell my mother she was like what are you going to do for
19:09money and i didn't like that she asked that so i just gave it back to her i was like
19:13well mommy
19:14i could prostitute she was like oh elizabeth
19:23yeah and i was like insult i'm like my mommy doesn't think i could prostitute
19:29i am a lesbian i feel like at some point i got gay enough i didn't have to tell you
19:33okay i'm pretty
19:34sure you all knew you didn't say anything it would have been good for the lesbian stuff to be moved
19:40up it should be mixed up in there and now being a prostitute as a lesbian right now it completely
19:47opens up a whole other area of joe i just recently like went back to visit my family dude i've
19:52been
19:52trying to like go back and like visit them more often but uh in doing so i've had to come
19:58to terms
19:59with the fact that uh we are white trash didn't really think we were to be honest with you guys
20:09until i was hanging out with my cousin abby and her baby daddy travis
20:16he was bitching about his child support payments dude he's like i pay 480 a month per kid
20:25basically like i'm working to pay for these kids yeah yeah i mean that's the support part travis i don't
20:36know if you knew that but he's on parole right now too dude really good timing i one thousand percent
20:45agree um i do not think this stuff is strong enough to change my org of so he doesn't make
20:52the bubble for you despite all his belly i haven't managed to pick me up a fine looking lady man
20:57hell
20:57yeah we're thinking uh about having this big wedding but it's getting a little out of control
21:02you know she's talking about she wants to have 11 bridesmaids that means i got to come up with 11
21:06groomsmen i don't know 11 people like like i already know the day of the wedding i'm gonna get desperate
21:13show up to a home depot looking for some day labors i have two suits in my hands like does
21:19anybody here know the cuban shuffle uh a lot of the punchlines didn't really have the payoff that i
21:25hope that they would have the longer just set up the heart of the punchline that's your head right
21:34i pay rent late sometimes i don't feel good about it but when i do i try to make up
21:38for it i try to
21:39deliver the rent to my landlord in person you know own up to my mistake man to man lord to
21:44peasant
21:45i'll be like here are your rents my lord i'm so very sorry that the blooms were tardy this moon
21:52cycle but as you know banditry has been rampant on the streets these days and rent will be late next
21:59month you take care if and when you are addressing a specific niche you have to paint the picture and
22:05make sure that your audience is able to come with you you gotta make me understand it right so um
22:10i
22:11think
22:15i think in a showcase this should be a much more difficult conversation for us we should we should
22:21be shuffling the puzzle so much more wait but this wait but what'd you think it is we're not doing
22:27that enough no that's right a little disappointed how are the new york la showcases would you say it was
22:33stronger than this yes that's the other thing those are people who already moved to l.a and new york
22:37these are people who are still in chicago or texas or wherever this needs a little yes
22:43you know you want to see a lot of strong performances right and i just have to be honest
22:50um as a judge and as somebody that's trying to find this this person of new it wasn't great
22:57we're halfway through and i'm not loving what i'm seeing so far in los angeles i gave a bubble
23:02spot to pap johnson i think john cena is the most accomplished monkey-faced white man
23:10that there ever has been yeah with what i'm seeing so far here in chicago in the interest of having
23:16a
23:17strong group of callbacks i think i better shake things up a little bit pat what's good pat johnson
23:23oh man i told you the off position was uh one that i did on the spot you know within
23:29this opportunity
23:29to put together the next version of a five-minute set you can shock me and possibly shock the world
23:34so i didn't want to give up on you i wanted to see you in the next stages um and
23:38i'm excited right we
23:39come back to l.a and this portion of the competition it gets real so stand up do what you
23:45do show out
23:45appreciate all right my guy i see you in los angeles champ thank you see you soon yes sir all
23:52right
23:53path is definitely a comic that i want to see more from but that was up to him to deliver
23:58and show that he deserves the spot go do that thing man i was supposed to go to college for
24:07mechanical and electrical engineering when i was in high school i was building robots and whatnot i was on
24:12robotics team so to go from that to all of a sudden i'm going to talk about my dick in
24:17front of
24:18strangers yeah it's going to ruffle some feathers my parents they love it now mr ron taylor winning
24:25this competition could change my life a number of ways because kevin hart exposure is great kevin
24:30hart money or netflix opportunity that would be awesome i scoop ice cream
24:34nigga hopefully i ain't got to do that no more all right let's get this out the way now this
24:41is my
24:41hair this is not a hat shut the fuck up don't laugh at that i like that listen i'm progressive
24:51hey you
24:51gay live your life be happy you lesbian live your life be happy you non-binary live your life but
24:57i got
24:58questions i got questions i get what i mean for the most part non-binary that kind of mean like
25:04you
25:04neither or you both but you can't have the great qualities of both genders and the responsibilities
25:12of neither no no i know a lazy motherfucker when i see one you're not about to weasel your way
25:21out of
25:21this community work we got jobs here we split up the workload we said boys do this girls do this
25:28i ain't saying what's right but we split up the workload now you sitting there with all these man
25:33muscles in this sexy ass dress and not gonna do nothing shit
25:43you either gonna help us move this couch or start sucking some dick around here
25:54i don't give a fuck what you do but you get to work god damn it
26:02a lot of people think that's a homophobic joke i don't think it is
26:06i'm not homophobic i don't feel that at all right i'll tell you some homophobic y'all remember this show
26:14scared straight was a show where they would take badass kids right and they would put them in jail
26:19and they would talk about the different ways in which they would fuck them in the ass just not
26:25hey this was the show
26:29grown men if you was in here i'd fuck you in the ass
26:32if you was in here i'd make you comb my chest hair and fuck you in the ass
26:37do you understand that's the whole reason we don't want to go to jail is to not get
26:41fucked in the butt that that's it i don't want to go to jail the police that's a difficult thing
26:47to
26:47to deal with period police be shooting people unarmed they always got the same dumb ass excuse
26:52i fear for my life you got a scary job motherfucker you can't be a bitch and the police you
26:58got picked
26:58one and that's my thing i know they ain't that scared at least not the white ones because i've got
27:03an
27:03instagram i've seen white people i've seen them interacting with animals no fear they'll grab a
27:09snake but no they won't they won't harm the snake or nothing i want to see the same patience used
27:16on a
27:17deer in the woods on a in the hood i want that same same there you go buddy you're all
27:25right
27:26you're all right oh little feisty he's okay he's okay calm down buddy there you go there's some hot
27:33cheetos in hennessy there you go ladies and gentlemen that's my time i'm ron taylor that's a very good
27:39joke very very good i like the coming out my hair looks like this and then immediately
27:45fuck y'all man like you like you didn't he's so likable that he can get away with that and
27:50get
27:51away with edgier bits you know you talk about non-binary and people get a little like
27:55what's this going to be and then he's just so likable that to me was not malicious that's a
28:00funny and his presence i could feel wasn't like constructed that's the hardest thing to teach
28:06being yourself on stage very hard i agree he was my favorite so far yeah fight spicy books toes not
28:15racist
28:18i am from columbus texas a small town i mean it was an amazing childhood parents are great
28:25which is apparently not good for stand-up i'm gonna switch the opener it's probably a bad idea
28:31this could go bad because i'm a christian no sex jokes no no swearing but i don't think it's a
28:38hindrance
28:48what's up so good to be here my name is mason i'm uh i'm not racist and
28:57yeah it's good i've been told i give off a pretty racist vibe and um i love black people i
29:04really do
29:04i love black people i'm serious probably my favorite besides white for sure i love black
29:11friends i would like more i just wish the handshake wasn't so scary this is what i've noticed the
29:17higher they come in the more choreographed it's gonna be black guy comes up this high there's dancing
29:22involved dude it's like what's up so good to meet you man i'm married uh to a woman regular style
29:30and
29:31um i um i love marriage if you're thinking about marriage you should do it marriage is awesome
29:38it's up there you know it's right underneath being single just um so good she got mad on
29:45wedding day because i wasn't crying she was like why aren't you crying i was like i'm not sad you
29:50know she's like tears of joy i was like i'm not happy so
29:59my family's cool they're very cool family uh they're very smart they love reading like this
30:03last christmas we're sitting around the dining table everybody's going in circles saying how many
30:06books they read that year and i was sitting there sweating trying to think of one book all right
30:10just one book that's not the bible you know so finally it was my turn they go mason
30:15how many books have you read give us your top three and now i have to think of three books
30:19all
30:20right bible's back on the table so i said the bible and then i made up a book called roger
30:27that and
30:30they were like what's that about i was like world war i think
30:34and then the last book i said to catch a mockingbird and uh
30:40they were like to kill a mockingbird and i go yeah i love the sequel it's awesome you know
30:45all right you guys are awesome my name's mason thank you so much thank you
30:49good set that was a smooth shot everything flowed great punch lines good energy how about
30:55the boldness to come out yeah and have racist humor black is his second favorite after white
31:01that's very funny looking like that
31:08thanks guys you got it baby thank you baby you got it how you feeling i'm feeling great
31:14you look great you are great thank you so much the tie looks nice do you guys like my tie
31:18yeah
31:18love the tie and that tie is funny as she love you guys okay i gotta go i gotta go
31:23good luck thank
31:25you thank you babe i've been doing comedy for five years
31:32i was really bad at school i had like a learning disability so i think i always felt like i
31:37had like
31:38a different thing going on than my peers hello i'm olivia keep it going for me
31:45i'm funny i am not good at other things it seems like i have to do this or i'll be
31:53a receptionist
31:54forever my boyfriend really wants me to call him daddy in bed
31:59and i got really shy when i said it and it sounded like i thought he actually was
32:07i was like daddy
32:15my friend was like he just wants to feel like he's in charge so the next time i was like
32:20mom
32:26yeah he came really hard um
32:31he's great though the last guy i was seeing was really close to his ex because they were still dating
32:41and my boyfriend he used to do this thing at the beginning where he would talk about other women
32:44being hot to me like a fool and i had to tell him the only time you can talk about
32:51another woman's
32:51appearance with me is if there's like an open casket
32:58you know you can say one time she was beautiful
33:04and i'm gonna be like well she got her makeup done
33:10and she hasn't eaten in days
33:11and my sister she's got two kids named george and walter
33:25and i agreed to watch them one time because i thought they'd be elderly men
33:29um but it's got me thinking about my eggs right at my age i have like 400 000 left that's
33:39a lot of
33:39people you know that's a lot of white people it's starting to feel like a rally
33:47so i applied to sell them but did you know you can't sell your eggs if you have any tattoos
33:52or any
33:52history of like obsessive drinking or drug usage
33:56i was like what kind of women do you think are selling their eggs
34:04beggars can't be choosers
34:08i'm olivia carter thank you goodbye
34:16short setup very short setup i love it many many punch lines great great joke writing the number of
34:23jokes that we got during that set that might have been the highest density of jokes we've seen
34:27quick great use of five minutes she knows how to do five minutes that's exactly what i was going
34:31to say that was a very very good set strong
34:37how we doing chicago we good now i'm from i'm from atlanta atlanta atlanta a rough place atlanta
34:45rough other day this lady asked me she was like oh dan can you walk me to my car and
34:50i was like sure
34:50thing and as soon as we got to a car i'm like can you drive me to mine
34:56because bitch i'm 115 pounds you thought this was a one-way trip
35:03because ladies it's a dick move to ask someone to walk you to your car because it's dangerous outside
35:08and then you just leave them there
35:15you know how many times i want a woman to a car at midnight we get to a car i'm
35:19like oh damn i guess
35:20i gotta walk back by myself she's like oh that's crazy good night
35:26why is it that when you're walking a woman to a car the city is the safest it's ever been
35:31and then as soon as you drop her off it turns to gotham
35:35right you're just walking back to your car crackheads trying to make you solve riddles
35:40but like hey your blood was shaped like a rock but get your high
35:45you're like nigga crack
35:49the answer's crack
35:52everyone in atlanta wants to own a gun i was walking with my white friend downtown atlanta he was like
35:56hey
35:57bro we good and he pulls up his shirt and he's got all right chill out
36:05he pulled he pulls up his shirt
36:08fuck you
36:11bitch i'm trying to win something
36:15that's funny not now
36:21i'm staying at the ac hotel though if you want to
36:26i'm trying to ignore her ass i'm like i keep an eye on the drink
36:31goddamn orange hair distracting me
36:33i like that
36:35fucking hey i fucking like that season didn't let it throw him off hit a joke in the moment
36:41yeah
36:43i will admit though men we don't know how to be safe because i was doing a private event for
36:50a
36:50rapper the other day and i was leaving and he was like hey man text me when you get home
36:54safe
36:54and i was like nigga i'd rather die
36:58i'd rather get robbed shot than to text another grown man
37:04hey bro got home safe
37:08and then he double taps it and that heart pops up
37:14you know what i like it yeah good material good presence a lot of uh ripping with the crowd but
37:26back to the material that's very hard to do even seasoned comedians struggle getting back yes yes
37:32going into that audience the way you did yeah yeah no i appreciate it a lot of fun like you
37:37said
37:44it was a lot of fun right now if if i had to choose i got ron corey olivia i
37:53like olivia yeah
37:55i like olivia yeah right now now the question is do you put his set above caleb
38:04i don't know it's gross but this is where it gets good for you or not because now we're gonna
38:08have to make a decision it's gonna be tough i had a little bit of fear in me but chicago
38:15was
38:15starting to turn it around and now we have a really crazy pool of talent let's go
38:27i'm gonna see you on the other side there you go yeah i've only been doing a comedy four years
38:32i worked in oilfield for 12 years before comedy yeah new mexico louisiana ohio pennsylvania
38:38everywhere just drilling holes in the ground when i quit my job i was making half a million dollars
38:42a year and i gotta tell my daddy hey i'm quitting this oilfield job i'm gonna be a comedy
38:46give it up for the single mother said uncle laser this is the biggest opportunity in my mother's
38:51fucking life i want to win this just to prove not to anybody else but myself that quitting that job
38:57and starting all over at the age of 30 could work chicago how the fuck we feeling now baby
39:04hey baby a lot of pretty women out in this i'll tell you what
39:13hey for con i'm uncle laser
39:17and i am the single mother slayer where them single mothers at let me hear you holler
39:23i know i can smell y'all i can smell y'all y'all here smell like turkey baking in
39:28a microwave
39:33but they sexually aggressive now and look i'm gonna be honest i like a
39:36i like woman had a couple kids i like that pussy wallered out
39:43like if that don't look like a mud flap on the back of an 18-wheeler just blowing around in
39:47the
39:47breeze i don't want no part of it because i'm gonna be honest with y'all dead ass i'm gonna
39:51be honest
39:51with y'all hey tight
39:54pussy make me claustrophobic you hear me it makes me claustrophobic
39:58i've seen this one little single mother though you know we like fooling around she you know
40:02that ain't like the new time you fuck somebody like this but she got up on some weird shit she's
40:07like hey i want you to make this pussy fight
40:16i said do what she said i want you to make this pussy fight i said can i talk to
40:24it first
40:26and she said yeah you can talk to her she go what that mouth do
40:32and i said hey let me not tell you let me show you
40:45and that pussy queen let me tell you something it startled me and i said what was that she said
40:49that's my pussy leaving you a review my name's uncle lazier y'all been great
40:58we out here at the end of the day we're all humans you know so just because i'm like my
41:02shit is different you know and i talk different i look different we still all go through the same
41:06shit you know what i'm saying so i just relay it in a different way than others just be somebody
41:11that somebody wants to be stuck in an elevator with because nobody wants to be stuck in an elevator with
41:15a fucking asshole uncle lazier the jokes are funny obviously great energy great energy i'd want to
41:21see what an hour of that looks like you know because everybody else you see like even if they're staying
41:25on topic for five minutes i can extrapolate back to what an hour is like with him i don't know
41:31does
41:31that like run out of steam i'm this i'm the single mom slayer and okay you know what yeah what
41:39else
41:40what are your parents like yeah what else is interesting about you yeah i'm terrified
41:46i'm sweating under my titties okay yeah same yeah my titties are fully soaked you definitely just
41:54broke my nose you're not alone yeah yeah you're not alone thank you baby you got him anything on my
42:00teeth
42:11i'm embracing 40 especially when i'm dating i'm dating now i'm back out here on the dating scene and
42:16i'm happy about it at 40 you can date the father or the son get you a little ceo or
42:22a janitor it don't
42:24matter you gotta be careful out here who you date though because you start dating these boys see you at
42:2940
42:30and be trying to get you pregnant at 40 and i can't do that ah ah miss t ever can't
42:34have no kids
42:35about you sugar he's about why what's the reason i think we would make beautiful babies i said well
42:41first of all my nigga you got eczema all the bad characteristics come from the daddy y'all know i
42:49ain't
42:49lying could y'all imagine 40 year old me with a small baby crying at two three in the morning
42:56i'm
42:57trying to figure out what's wrong with the motherfucker i'm giving them a bottle a pacifier
43:01blanket a nipple whole time this nigga neck itch
43:07i ain't having no itchy ass baby i'm
43:10i do a lot of things a itchy baby is not on my forecast
43:17i'm y'all favorite cousin tiara is good see y'all tonight that felt like one set one day one
43:25day
43:26punch lines every every few seconds there was something funny great energy very comfortable
43:31on stage too yeah she's very comfortable yeah also cousin tiara's that's a fun like little vibe to set
43:37up like hey i'm just your cousin talking to you you fine one of the toughest hurdles of being a
43:44female
43:45comic is being treated like i was not too much of a threat whole time i'm that nigga you know
43:52what
43:52i mean but they don't need to know that hopefully this changed my life by giving me the exposure to
43:58people who didn't know i existed who didn't know how funny i was on the stand-up tip
44:03kevin hart get to see me it changed my life right there
44:06t sandals
44:12hold on look at all the niggas mad as hell he said thick
44:16bitch what's up y'all mad ain't you you ain't seen a nigga bitch with waist beads what's up
44:25fellas don't be mad i just wrapped up my 10-year gay contract think i'm a free agent
44:36i can't wait to come back to y'all boy i swear to god i miss y'all i've been
44:41gay 10 years i wish
44:42i would have read the fine print on this motherfucker i'm going back to niggas all right
44:49and i miss the attention from y'all i miss the attention i miss feeling a little creeped out and
44:55uncomfortable i miss that shit i miss it oh man white boys y'all not exempt
45:04uh-huh fun fact the last guy i fucked was white
45:13and ladies let me tell y'all right now the stereotype is not true baby
45:18they got up credit too
45:35i'm getting me a fat man yeah i want me a big boy you hear me
45:51a big thing i want him serving crack
45:55no not drugs big ass like i want
46:02you know it's a big night i need a that when he get in the car he get in there
46:05like a tetris piece
46:06does that make sense the tetris piece no because y'all regular small niggas y'all just get in there
46:10and i need motherfucking to get like this in town
46:15well my name is t sanders thank y'all so much for having me i love y'all
46:28t hard fucking hit her it was strong material she's very funny she's very naturally funny here's an
46:33example of words with punch lines attached to who i am where i'm from what i'm doing here what i'm
46:41excited about t blew it out the water oh it was just like they was just there yeah it was
46:48the best
46:48crowd you could do yeah it make you shake i was shaking when i got off i was just like
46:54there you're
46:55like okay this is good i'm eating go go go yeah when you get off you're like yeah i had
47:02tears i had
47:03tears too yeah
47:11camille and kevin judging my stand-up uh a nerve-wracking experience it like feels crazy
47:17like the prize is insane like what a netflix special we killed that over to the beginning
47:23kudos amazing i heard it there's a crazy variety of talent and comedian and style i think caleb was
47:30great i think mason was great mason was really really really good but then uncle laser here i am
47:36mother slater and because of tiara i'm older i'm 40 whereas corey was like look i'm a grandma now
47:42corey was also really good at reacting to the crowd you know that was a very strong show very
47:47strong service so hard that's what makes it great let's go tell them who's coming to los angeles
48:00all right shuffling this board today came with a lot of debate you know that we said we're taking a
48:06handful of comedians and i've decided to take six that will represent our chicago portion of this
48:11competition my first choice today i'm terrified i'm really not sure and that's making me more
48:20nervous ron man you got that yeah i just love your confidence man i love your cadence on stage i
48:32love
48:32that there's an edginess to the guy that you would not expect to curse your material shine bright took
48:39all them days off work so i feel vindicated i'm glad they enjoyed the stuff i did mad if i
48:45didn't make
48:46it i'd just be at home pulling my thumbs like this when there's all this great ice cream i could
48:50have
48:51been scooping number two god damn grandma we gotta we gotta go to the to the grandma that's you did
48:59a
49:00great job i loved it i i think it was unique i think your material was very true to who
49:05you are
49:05and i was with you every step of the way uh number three t god damn man another another dose
49:11of like
49:12some raw fucking crazy energy uh and it's it's necessary it's needed the special thing about
49:19stand-up comedy number four
49:25if i gotta put you in there you were you were fucking amazing i was thoroughly impressed with
49:32with just how you dissected that five minute set thanks and it looked so comfortable thanks dude
49:38you made that performance yeah man down to the last couple
49:44uh daniel i found a heavy level of laughter in your material there's a dope ass quality to you
49:52an amazing pizzazz and there's an amazing pop that i felt like you had uh our last one everybody was
49:59really really good and this is why i don't like comedy competitions for this fucking moment i don't
50:04i don't look at this as a bad moment though i do there's so many funny people that can't go
50:08ahead
50:10i am different and i am optimistic all the things that i felt i should have had i never got
50:16snl i should have had it i was right there why didn't they give it to me if i would
50:20have got it
50:20i wouldn't have become the movie star that i am now so plain that should have broke the box office
50:25if it would have had that success then i probably wouldn't have got the movies that i got after
50:30i wouldn't have been able to go and cameo and make the relationships that ultimately got me in
50:34front of the best producers and the best writers in town it's a business of opportunity it's a
50:39business of being ready for the moment that you don't even know is coming you have no idea what
50:43your fucking moment is it's going to present itself when you least expect it and the question is is
50:48will you be ready for it i'm just going to rip the band-aid off and say who it is
50:53because i don't think
50:53we need the drum roll we made the choice to say kayla we want to see you perform again
51:03i can tell that you're a smart writer and i can tell that there's a lot in that comedy bag
51:10so
51:14congrats to those that were chosen and to those that weren't my advice to you exchange numbers
51:19yeah that's the other side of this it's the community it's the support i started stand-up
51:24comedy here in chicago open mics i'm still friends with everybody i did comedy with i don't like to
51:29think of comedy as being a competition i like to think of it as being collaborative exchange numbers
51:34keep in contact thank you guys for being a part of the competition i appreciate you
51:43it was definitely an honor to share the stage with y'all i'm putting on for chicago and if you're
51:49coming from the la group or the new york group please be ready because chicago is definitely about to
52:05break it know that to make it out of the first round into callback i i'm grateful to be here
52:13in
52:13hollywood and perform at the comedy store comedy store is legendary there's so many people that
52:18would kill to be where i am and i don't take that lightly can we dab okay oh wow that's
52:24good that's
52:25good that's good are y'all nervous or what it's intense because now the competition's more fierce
52:29i know these people these are all great comics so it's so it's very you got to bring your game
52:34and
52:34you can't you can't just relax you can't just be like no i got this oh my god getting a
52:43call from
52:43kevin was surreal i feel amazing yeah yeah we're here so now we're talking we're talking we're talking
52:53the fact that pap got a bubble spot i'm not gonna sleep on that do you know what i mean
52:58like they
52:58created a spot for him and i've seen what pap can do out here as a la comic so so
53:03glad i could catch
53:04the bus here this round could change everything because you're going against some great comedians
53:09caitlyn palufo she's hilarious she's filthy she's got it ron taylor one of the best comedians
53:15in the world please your folks crushed talking about chemo first time in this competition i've been
53:19very nervous hey guys
53:25set it ready for the show i don't know i don't know hit another stage gotta go gotta go turned
53:33another page
53:34each other chapter long ago
53:39stay authentic we gonna get it we drop in it represent it we jumped in it gotta keep it hot
53:44with the true sauce in it never gonna stop that's proof we with it never gonna stop we will never
53:48quit
53:48it never gonna stop this just the beginning never gonna stop you thought that it ended admit it
53:52we're gonna keep it moving yeah cause there ain't no other way only way to do it cheer do it
53:58every
53:58single day gotta keep the focus yeah about then and we loaded man that's the way we do it cheer
54:04you
54:04must have it backwards yeah you got it
54:09backwards yeah you got it
54:47thank you
54:48yeah
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