Sons vs Single Mothers!

Stefan Molyneux

Philosopher Stefan Molyneux breaks down single motherhood's genetic revolt on sons through r/K traps and blame-identity chaos, demanding paternal steel for their unbroken rise.  0:00:00 The Impact of Single Motherhood  0:03:07 Genetic Revolts and Behavioral Patterns  0:05:15 The Struggles of Single Mothers  0:06:32 The Cycle of Blame and Responsibility  0:11:40 The Survival Mechanism of Single Mothers  0:22:51 Grooming and Attractiveness: A Mother's Role  0:25:45 The Illusion of Maternal Value  0:31:56 The Role of Lust in Male Development  0:38:30 The Father's Role and Communication  0:43:54 The Brutality of Single Motherhood   GET FREEDOMAIN MERCH! https://shop.freedomain.com/  SUBSCRIBE TO ME ON X! https://x.com/StefanMolyneux  Follow me on Youtube! https://www.youtube.com/@freedomain1  GET MY NEW BOOK 'PEACEFUL PARENTING', THE INTERACTIVE PEACEFUL PARENTING AI, AND THE FULL AUDIOBOOK! https://peacefulparenting.com/  Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!  Subscribers get 12 HOURS on the "Truth About the French Revolution," multiple interactive multi-lingual philosophy AIs trained on thousands of hours of my material - as well as AIs for Real-Time Relationships, Bitcoin, Peaceful Parenting, and Call-In Shows!  You also receive private livestreams, HUNDREDS of exclusive premium shows, early release podcasts, the 22 Part History of Philosophers series and much more!  See you soon! https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/UPB2025

Transcript

00:00So a couple of thoughts this morning, just about the deleterious or negative effects of

00:07single motherhood on young male development. And I say this, of course, with, of course,

00:15some real sympathy towards some single mothers who were raised themselves in bad situations or

00:23circumstances could be runaway. So, you know, certainly at the edges, there are cases where

00:29we can have some real sympathy, but whether we have sympathy or not doesn't really change the

00:37dynamics as a whole. For men, for boys, for males, let's say, right, being subjected to the rule

00:49of a woman you don't respect is exceedingly dangerous for long-term reproductive success.

01:00It's not so much whether there's a sort of psychological issue. I mean, there are certainly

01:05those. But the real question to me is whether there's a genetic revolt. So genetic revolts

01:14are almost, I wouldn't say almost, they are to a large degree for a lot of people,

01:21almost beyond the realm of free will. And of course, I say this advisedly, I'm not saying

01:27there's no free will. I'm just saying that for less intelligent people in particular, or less

01:34self-aware people, or less self-curious people, less analytical people, a genetic revolt is hard

01:43to counter with anything other than like pure rational philosophy. There's an old saying from Pascal,

01:51the heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing. And I would also say that regarding

01:58a genetic revolt, it is very hard. Pure philosophy can do it, but almost nothing else can, and we are

02:07not exactly in a society that champions pure rational philosophy. So what do I mean by a genetic

02:15revolt? Well, there's a study that I cited many years ago in my presentation, The Case Against

02:21Staking, where 100% of boys with a certain gene who were physically abused became criminals.

02:29So that's not to say that they couldn't perhaps be talked out of it with, again, rational self-knowledge

02:34and philosophy and morality and UPB and all of that. But here we start to get into the realm

02:39of a genetic revolt. If you look at the daughters of single mothers, they tend to start menstruating

02:50earlier, they tend to be hypersexual. That is a genetic revolt. Now, when I say a revolt, I don't

02:58mean that they're sort of revolting against reality. That is a genetic revolt against case-elected

03:06behavior. So the R versus K theory is, in general, that there are two classes of, there are two

03:16styles to reproductive success. R-selected is when you're in an environment where you have very little

03:22control, and the resources are basically infinite. You have as many offspring as possible and just kind

03:32of hope for the best, that you don't really invest in your offspring. You just have a bunch of

03:36offspring, like rabbits, you know, foliage, grass, and so on, is effectively infinite. They don't

03:42really have any control over their environment because they're prey species. So some animal jumps

03:49on you, some hawk descends or whatever. There's not really much you can do. And so what you do is

03:55you

03:55just have as many offspring as possible. It's spray and pray, and you don't really invest in

04:00your offspring, and so on. Because investing in your offspring doesn't really, doesn't really do

04:05much. You don't really have to teach rabbits to run. If they're chased, you don't really have to

04:10teach rabbits to eat the plentiful food around them if they're hungry. I mean, they're just going

04:14to do it. And so if you compare that to something like a wolf, which has fewer offspring, but invests

04:20far more into the offspring, because you've got to teach them how to hunt, and you've got a pair

04:23bond, and all of that. So prey species tend to be R-selected, and K-species tend to be higher

04:30on

04:31the food chain, so to speak. And it's a genetic revolt against K-selected manifestations of genetic

04:43preference. So when children grow up in chaos, when children grow up particularly without fathers,

04:49there's a genetic revolt against K-selection towards R-selection, and that diminishes

04:57free will. That diminishes free will. The big test of K-selection is sex before marriage. And this is

05:06why highly K-selected societies tend to focus on preventing sex before marriage. It's a mark of

05:12deferral of gratification, and so on. And our selected societies tend to be highly promiscuous,

05:20and so on. Now, with single mothers, the question is, what does it program the males to do with chaotic,

05:33aggressive, shrieky, loud, desperate, overwhelmed, and often seemingly confused single mothers?

05:42Our single mothers are sort of notoriously stressed. They feel disrespected. They have trouble paying

05:49the bills. They have just this wide variety of, you know, pretty significant issues. They tend to be

05:56shrieky. They tend to be frustrated. They tend to be angry a lot of the time. They tend to feel

06:03burdened with the children. They tend to be, of course, they're sexually frustrated a lot of the time

06:09because men don't generally marry them, at least the men they want, don't generally marry them. I mean,

06:15they're broke, right? They have a lot of stress and chaos. They're juggling too much. And, you know,

06:25I can certainly have sympathy for the day-to-day, but we're just doing a sort of more dispassionate

06:30analysis of what the problems are. So, a boy who's raised by a single mother, and, you know,

06:39some of the worst combinations tend to be single son of a single mother, tends to be just about the

06:45worst combination. I knew a bunch of them when I was growing up. I was one for a couple of

06:53years

06:53when my brother was away, and it's rough. It's rough. Very rough, in fact. So, what are the problems?

07:03Well, the problem is that, foundationally, when your mother is unpleasant, and, in general,

07:13the single mothers tend to be unpleasant to the sons, toward the sons, or in the sons' vicinity.

07:21They tend to be touchy, they tend to be defensive, and they also tend to be false.

07:25I was talking about this yesterday that, in a little talk about immigration, that

07:32when people's lives become a disaster, and especially when that disaster is kind of unrecoverable,

07:38they can't get solutions, so all they want is excuses. Right? Once you have a kid, or two,

07:46or three, and the father is not around, you can't fix the problem. You can't undo the problem.

07:54I mean, maybe you could get the father back, but probably not, and maybe you don't even want him

08:00back because he himself is too chaotic, or bad, or wrong, or something like that. So, you can't fix

08:06the problem. And when people can no longer fix the problem, all they want are excuses. All they want

08:13is that it's not their fault. Because, and I can understand this, this is not even any big criticism,

08:20this is just the way that things are psychologically. I mean, if you become a single mom,

08:26let's say you have two kids by the same guy, the guy takes off, or is a drunk, or is

08:32a criminal,

08:34or just lazy, or, you know, doesn't have the money to help you too much, then, you know,

08:44you've got almost 18 years to go, or you've got 15 years to go. How are you going to survive

08:50if you're full of self-recrimination? One of the reasons that women in particular tend to look

08:56for excuses is that they tend to be, on average, more self-critical than men. And so, once a woman

09:05ends up in a situation where disaster has occurred, right, she's trying to raise kids without a man,

09:12without a father, without a husband. Once the situation has occurred, women are extremely

09:18self-critical, and therefore, if they were to truly analyze the situation and look at all the

09:27mistakes they made, they would spend the next 15, 16, 17, maybe even 18 years, they would spend all of

09:36that time kicking themselves, and angry at themselves, and it would be wretched for them,

09:43and they would be less functional. Men can get mad at themselves and still function, but women,

09:51when they get self-critical, tend to be, they tend to under-function, and you can't under-function

09:57when you're a mother. So, what you have to do is you have to find a way to make it

10:03not your fault,

10:04so that you can turn your anger away from yourself and towards an external cause or enemy.

10:10I mean, if you can imagine a situation where you are forced to either punch yourself or punch someone

10:22you're really angry at, of course, you would choose to punch someone you're really angry at. And when

10:28women make big mistakes, particularly mistakes involving parenting, or the father of their children,

10:33if they can't get angry at the man, but instead hold themselves accountable, which is kind of what's

10:42necessary for their children, and in particular their sons, to respect them, if they do try to hold

10:48themselves accountable, then they get so self-critical that they get kind of depressed and can't function.

10:55They get so self-critical. So, they have to turn their aggression outward against the father,

11:05against whoever, right? I mean, who's kidding who? It's almost always the father. So, they get angry

11:10at the father, and they can't take responsibility, because if they take responsibility, their self-attack

11:17gets so strong that they can't really function. So, it is, in a sense, a survival mechanism.

11:23A disaster has occurred, and if it's their fault, they get so depressed and self-critical that they

11:30can't function. Therefore, they have to turn their aggression towards the father in order to function

11:35sufficiently to be able to take care of the children. I mean, at least to some degree. So,

11:42and the self-criticism of women is kind of why culture is continual, is continuous, right?

11:49And so, and also because the stakes for women are so high with regards to children, that self-criticism

11:56is baked in. It's an evolutionary advantage. We can talk about that another time. I don't want to go

12:00off on too many side quests. I mean, maybe you do, but I won't. So, what happens is that women,

12:08in order to remain functional with regards to their children, have to turn all of their aggression

12:13against the absent father. And again, you can imagine if they have to get angry at someone

12:21for the sake of the children's survival, it's better that they get angry at someone who is outside

12:28the immediate family and not at themselves, which again, has them non-functional. I mean,

12:36certainly my mother was an extreme case, but the few times I ever saw my mother be self-critical,

12:45it was brutal and she couldn't function. And again, I'm not saying that that's,

12:50I'm not saying that's everyone, of course, it's an extreme case, but my mother was just

12:54female nature turned up to 11 plus trauma. And it's traumatic to enter into a relationship with

13:01hopes, right? Because a woman has procreative sex with a man and she imagines this wonderful

13:06future where they're together and happy and Christmases and birthdays and Valentine's Day

13:10and hugs and all of that and birthday cakes. And then when that's taken away, she gets angry

13:17at the person who has taken away all of her future happiness. This guy is going to solve all my

13:22problems when that turns into this guy is now the source of all my problems or is the cause of

13:28all

13:28my problems. The anger is prodigious. So, the problem is that the survival mechanism of the single

13:35mother, which is to externalize the cause of her life's problems to the father, that gives her the

13:43ability to have the energy to maintain the household because she's not collapsing in self-attack or

13:54self-criticism. I mean, and you know, it's kind of dysfunctional moms, you know, if you criticize them

14:00and they say, well, oh, I guess I was just the worst mother in the world then, right? And, and,

14:03but there's

14:04a kind of truth to that, that if you penetrate their defenses and their externalization of the

14:09causes of their life's problems, then they will say to themselves, I guess I'm just the worst

14:15mother in the world and all these terrible things will happen in their minds. And so, you know,

14:20they're, it's obviously, it's kind of manipulative, but in a way they're, they're speaking a kind of

14:24truth. So, the problem, of course, is that by attacking the father and not taking responsibility

14:30for their own lives, they lose credibility on the part of the sons because the sons know that if

14:38they internalize the mother's externalization, sorry, that's not particularly clear, let me take

14:45another run at that for a little more coherence, that the sons instinctively know that if they adopt

14:52the mindset of the mother, their genes will hit a dead end. Because women are not attracted to men

15:00and men cannot be successful if they blame everyone but themselves for every negative thing that happens.

15:07That is a female mindset that can work because when women self-attack, men will rush in to fix it,

15:18they white knight, but when men self-attack and therefore say, I'm never going to succeed,

15:27I can't do anything right, blah, blah, blah, women may have sympathy, but they won't mate with you.

15:32Or if men take the female approach of excessive self-attack leading to externalizing

15:40the cause of life's problems on everyone else, then women will not respect that.

15:48And they will not mate that, and they will not date that. It's a genetic dead end for boys

15:56to take on the externalizing blame mindset of their mothers. So they have to fight it. It's a genetic

16:04revolt because a boy who internalizes the female mindset of blaming others for problems cannot survive

16:16from a genetic standpoint. Just cannot survive. And that is a huge problem for boys.

16:25You know, like, I mean, for women, imagine that there's, you know, you're in some sort of primitive

16:30society where you're hunting and so on. And, you know, your man goes out to hunt and you desperately

16:36need the food because you're breastfeeding, you need an extra couple of hundred calories at least a day

16:40and so on. Then your husband comes home day after day with no meat. And he says, oh, it wasn't

16:48my

16:48fault. The spear was faulty, or it was someone else's fault, or we went to the place we always go,

16:56but there just didn't happen to be any game there. And it's never his fault. Well, if it's never his

17:01fault, then you're never getting any meat because he's not going to change his strategy.

17:05Right? So, men cannot afford to have the mindset of it's not my fault because that's extremely

17:14unattractive to women. Extremely unattractive to women for men to say, it's never my fault,

17:21it's not my fault. Women can do it and get away with it, but men can't because it's just too

17:25unattractive because it means that the man is going to be a terrible provider. If he blames every woman

17:29himself, then he's going to be a very bad provider. So, this horrible grim battle starts occurring

17:37where the mother continually claims that her life is not her fault, but then holds the child, the son,

17:47responsible for his choices, like punishes him, you don't show me respect, and all of the frustrated

17:53lack of respect that the woman is experiencing is projected onto the child and like, oh, just, it's,

18:02the son, it's, it's brutal. It's brutal. And the battle occurs because, especially with the modern world,

18:10especially with the welfare state and so on, women can get away with not taking responsibility

18:15because, you know, they'll just be backfilled by governments and the welfare state and socialized

18:21medicine and so on, right? And so, the battle is horrendous and the battle is around this

18:32responsibility issue. Now, for the mother to not take responsibility is kind of essential to her

18:38psychological functioning. And I know that sounds odd. I'm just, seems to be the case, right? And I'm

18:43certainly happy to hear arguments to the contrary. It's sort of what I've observed and I think what

18:47works in general theory, but again, it's not some sort of ironclad proof. But for the mother to not

18:53take responsibility is necessary for her psychological survival and functioning as a single mother. But

19:00then she holds her son responsible for his actions. Now, if you are a child and you are held responsible

19:10for your actions by a mother who doesn't take responsibility for her actions, a single mother,

19:16it's horrible. I mean, you have a deep foundational revolt against that. I mean, again, this occurs at a

19:28genetic level, at a cellular level. It's like from the very bottom instincts going up and forward. So,

19:39when your mother blames you or holds you accountable for whatever, you didn't come home on time, you're

19:48out too late, you treat this place like a hotel, you didn't study for this test, you don't show me

19:52respect, you're not being responsible, you didn't do this, you didn't do that, you didn't clean up after

19:56yourself, you didn't do the dishes right, and you're just constantly nagged, then she's saying, well, you

20:01as a child are 100% responsible for your choices. But I, as a mother, am entirely the victim of

20:07circumstances and your father. I mean, it drives you crazy. And it generates contempt. Like, it's one

20:14thing if the mother says, well, I'm not responsible for my actions. And equally, you are not responsible

20:22for your actions. I mean, if I'm not responsible for my actions as a grown adult, right, then clearly

20:28you can't be responsible for your actions as a little kid, right? That can't be the case. But when your

20:34mother holds you responsible as a little kid, and holds herself not responsible for the

20:42voluntary decision she made as an adult, then it's, it, for men, for boys, it is a crazy making.

20:51And of course, when you say, as a single mother, you say to your sons, you have to treat me

20:57with

20:57respect. Why don't you treat me with respect? That's what my mother used to say, that once we

21:03were visiting my uncle, my brother and my mother and I, and he said to my brother, you left the

21:10cap

21:11off the toothpaste tube. And my brother ran up the stairs to put it back on. And this was so

21:17enraging and incomprehensible to my mother, she referenced it literally for years afterwards,

21:21you flew up the stairs when he asked you, and I asked you to do something, and you just won't

21:24do

21:25it. And, you know, there's this kind of screeching witch-like frustration, which I kind of get. I mean,

21:31I can, I can appreciate it. But if the single mom says to the son, and again, I'll do the

21:39daughter's,

21:39sorry, let me, let me rephrase that. I will analyze the daughter stuff another time. But when the single

21:46mother says to her son, you need to treat me with respect, after she spent years and years

21:56trashing the dad, in other words, she does not treat the father of her children with any respect,

22:01but then she demands to be treated with respect. So, the man you chose to have children with,

22:11you can treat him with contempt. But the mother you never chose to be your mother,

22:16you have to treat with respect. So, the man you voluntarily chose and loved, or claimed to,

22:22you can treat with contempt. But the son has to treat the mother with respect. I mean, that's,

22:30it's deranged. And again, it all arises out of the necessity of, if she takes full responsibility

22:36for her own life, she will cease to function, for the most part. And also, if she takes sole

22:41responsibility for her own life and becomes very self-critical, she has no chance really of

22:46gaining a mate because she's too depressed and self-attacky and all of that, right?

22:51Now, the other thing that's interesting about single mothers and their sons is that the single

23:00mothers do not teach their sons, in general, about grooming, about dressing well, about, you know,

23:10making sure your teeth are sparkly, about haircuts, about style, about gel, none of that. Which is

23:17really interesting. I mean, it's really interesting. The causes of this are murky. I think it has

23:25something to do with when you're a parent and you love your spouse, then you're bittersweet about

23:34your children leaving, like when they grow up and they leave. You're bittersweet because you love

23:38the time with your kids. But also, a lot of your time is spent serving the needs and pleasures and

23:45preferences of your children, which is, of course, exactly as it should be and is a lovely part of

23:50parenting in many ways. But also, when your kids become adults, leave and go off with their lives,

23:56then you get to spend more time and do more things with your spouse. So, it's bittersweet, right?

24:03However, if you're a single mom, when your kids grow up, man, you're alone. You're alone. You're in your

24:1040s, maybe your 50s. And for women, solitude is tougher on average than it is for men. So, that's a

24:22sort of

24:23basic, tangible, challenging reality. So, by not teaching their sons how to be attractive, the sons are more

24:31likely to stick around the moms and thus assuage their loneliness. This is the substitute husband

24:39thing. I mean, a wife who's sending her husband off to some place where there are a lot of attractive

24:45single women is not going to dress him to the nines and make sure he looks as spectacular as possible

24:50and make sure he's, you know, perfectly groomed because that's going to make him more attractive

24:56to the women who could potentially take her husband away. And in the same way, single mothers do not

25:02work to make their sons as attractive as possible because, well, for a number of reasons. So, if they

25:07make their sons as attractive as possible, and it's kind of incomprehensible in a way to imagine that,

25:14you know, the all-American, sparkle-toothed, great-haired quarterback comes from a single

25:18mother household. Like, it's almost, it's almost incomprehensible because if the single mother

25:25makes her son really attractive, then he's going to attract a more high-quality woman, but a more

25:34high-quality woman will not want to spend much future time with the depressed, anxious, overwhelmed,

25:41manipulative, childlike single mother who doesn't take responsibility. So, the single mother

25:48A, wants to keep the sons around because otherwise she'll be lonely, and B, the more attractive the

25:53son, the higher-quality mate he will attract, and the higher-quality mate will probably want to

26:00not spend much time, if any, in the future with the single mother. In other words, a single mother

26:06wants a woman whose template is kind of like the single mother, like her mother with a single mother

26:11and so on, so she can't make the son too attractive. The other thing, too, of course, is that the

26:17single mother by the time, and it's a funny thing, right, because my teenage years were 40 years ago,

26:22right, so remembering what's happening to my daughter in her teenage life, what being a teenager's

26:27life, it's quite a time trip these days. And for a single mother, she attracted men really by virtue of

26:35being a female. And especially women, if girls aren't all sort of dressed to the nines in this sort of

26:43buton balls and so on, right, then she, as a young woman, attracted males simply by virtue of

26:52being alive, half-pulse will spread. And so, she doesn't understand, as a female, how men need to do more

27:06than just exist, for the most part, like most men, need to do more than just exist in order to

27:12attract

27:13a mate. Because she was able to attract a mate just by existing, so she doesn't focus on it as

27:19much.

27:19She doesn't understand things from the male perspective. So, there's that aspect as well.

27:23And the last thing I'll say, and I hope that people are interested in this as a whole, but the

27:29last thing

27:29that I will say is that single mothers have perhaps the biggest issue of modeling why women

27:43have value. To mates, not value as in they provide food and shelter, or at least their vehicles by which

27:50the government provides food and shelter. But how do they communicate to boys the value that women provide?

27:59Because if they have no contact with their father, then that's usually because the mother has deep

28:11and genuine contempt for the father. So, then they have the problem of processing or understanding what value

28:18the father found in their mother. Because they exist because the father had sex with the mother, and so if

28:26they

28:27look at their mother, they say, well, gee, you're not a particularly likable person, but I exist.

28:34What mean? Basic question of philosophy, what mean? So, you are not a particularly likable person.

28:44You know, you're stressed, you're tense, you're hostile, you're freaky, you're angry, you're bitter,

28:47you're resentful, you're blame, you're a giant blame thrower. So, why am I here?

28:55If you are not a pleasant person, or a positive person, or a moral person, or whatever you want to

29:00call it,

29:00why me when you? Of course, the answer is provided by the hormones. The answer is provided by the hormones

29:10for the boys. And the answer is that the hormones say, well, if the women aren't particularly pleasant or

29:20helpful, how do we reproduce? Well, what we do, if the women are not particularly pleasant or helpful,

29:27what we do is we crank up the lust to the point where you don't care about the woman's personality,

29:46you just are sex-crazed. So, we have to get the sperm to the eggs. And if the eggs are

29:57housed in an

29:58unpleasant form, we have to have you focus on the form, not the personality. In other words,

30:03we have to have you focus on lust, not on moral evaluation, because that is really the only way

30:12that we are going to reproduce. So, it's like if you have to eat food that's a little gamey, you're

30:21going to pour on the spice. Or what I was always told as a kid, hold your nose and the

30:26bad food won't

30:27taste so bad. So, you have to crank up the lust to the point where it becomes like a giant

30:36wave

30:37that splashes over a seawall, right? The seawall is there. And the seawall, of course, in this is the

30:44unpleasant nature of the females in the environment. I'm not talking female nature, I'm just talking in

30:51the environment, the unpleasant nature of the females. And you have to crank up the lust until

30:56the waves can get over the seawall. In other words, you have to crank up the lust until the man

31:01cares

31:01only about sexual access because he's sex-crazed, in the same way that if you are a fussy eater but

31:08you're starving, then you'll just eat. You'll eat because you're starving, and you won't be too

31:14fussy anymore about the food that you're getting. So, in the same way, nature cranks up the lust until

31:25you become sex-crazed and will just chase anything in a skirt, so to speak. And it's a wild phenomenon.

31:34So, then the question as to what value women provide to men, well, it's not moral counsel,

31:42it's not wisdom, it's not running a calm, productive, efficient, and effective household,

31:47it's not this, it's not that, it's not qualities of moral courage and honesty, and right? So,

31:53what value do women provide to men? Well, if you grow up with a true-ish, stressed-out, aggressive,

32:01manipulative, immature, single mother, then, by definition, really, the only value that women

32:07can provide is sexual access. And so, you have to look, I mean, what you do is unconsciously or down

32:15at your genetic level, since the model of sexual success, by biological definition, is your father,

32:22right? As a male, right? Your model for sexual success is your father, that's why you exist. So,

32:27your goal, of course, is to imitate your father, because whatever worked for your father is going

32:32to work for you. And that generally occurred when people didn't have any choice to change their tribes

32:37or anything like that. So, whatever worked for your father is what also will work for you. So,

32:45you have to imitate your father in order to achieve sexual success. It's certainly your best,

32:51your best art on average, right? Your best art to imitate your father. So, you look at your mother

32:56and you say, well, gee, she's not particularly pleasant. In fact, she's kind of difficult and

33:00negative a lot of the times. So, but I need to reproduce. And so, your system just cranks up the

33:07lust. Just cranks up the lust until it overcomes your distaste and a fear of your mother's personality.

33:15It just cranks up the lust so that you just become sex-crazed and will just have,

33:21you will respond to sort of visual cues of fertility signals. It's animalistic, really.

33:27And that's just sort of the inevitable result of these kinds of things. So, this is what occurs

33:35with the sons of single mothers and lust. What value did my mother provide to my father? And the answer

33:49is me to have a child. And so, I exist because my father's lust was so great that he had

33:59sex with a

33:59woman of doubtful moral character because he was really, really horny. Okay? So, I want to create

34:08another person like me. Those are my genes. That's what my genes are telling me to do.

34:13And so, I will do as my father did and my biology will crank up the lust to the point

34:20where I'm sex-crazed

34:22and will not evaluate a woman's moral character or virtues or consistency or loyalty or maturity or

34:32anything like that. I will not assess a woman's moral character. Instead, all I will do is be primed for

34:41physical lust signals and aim to have sex with whoever I can, the most physically attractive woman or female

34:51that I can. And there's no getting around that, really. That's just the way it works. Now, if, of course,

34:59the father is around more, then the father has the problem of explaining to the child why the child exists,

35:07right? Because the child is half the father, half the mother. And so, the father has a difficult time

35:11explaining to the child why the child exists. So, if the father is not around, then the mother gets

35:17monopoly over the child's view of the father and pours her frustration at her own choices into contempt

35:24for the father and thus programs the son to choose lower quality women based upon increased lust.

35:32But if the father is around, let's say it's 50-50 custody, then the father is handling explosives for

35:4115, 16, 17, 18 years. Which is, if the father says to the son, look, I made a terrible mistake.

35:51I was

35:51raised by a single mother or I had bad female template. And so, I just pursued women based on lust

35:58without

35:58regard to the qualities of their character and ended up choosing a bad mother for you. And it was

36:02a really, I mean, this is obviously, this is what I wish my father had said to me. What I

36:07wish my late

36:08father had said to me when I was reaching at least the first tendrils of sexual maturity, what I wish

36:17my

36:17father had said to me was that your mother was very attractive and I overlooked obvious red flags about

36:26qualities of character. And you really do need to focus on qualities of character. Otherwise, your life

36:32becomes sort of very difficult and unpleasant because you have a sort of hyped up, vengeful woman

36:39constantly going after you. Now, as to why my father didn't say any of that, um, which, you know, obviously

36:50I

36:50kind of knew, I will never know. I mean, I will never know. He's, uh, he's long gone now. So,

36:57my guess

36:58would be, though, that if the father says to the son, I chose badly, here's how to choose better,

37:10then the father, of course, is concerned that the son is, in a moment of anger, going to say

37:18to the mother, dad said he chose badly, uh, because he was raised badly and didn't have a template for

37:26a good female and was just consumed by lust and never really loved you. Right? I mean, when you are

37:35a father in a separation situation, uh, you have a big problem. You have a big old problem, which is

37:46the

37:46more honest you are with your son, the more difficult and dangerous the explosiveness is

37:56with regards to the mother. Because if the father says the blunt truth to the son and the son goes

38:06to the mother with this information, then the son is almost without, without a doubt, in a moment of

38:17conflict going to spill. And then that's going to cut right to the heart of the mother's

38:24self-justifications and lack of responsibility and anger towards the father and her whole messed up

38:30life. And, you know, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. He's going to be in for a very

38:36unpleasant

38:37rest of his life because of that. So you can't tell the truth. I mean, it's really the, the crushing

38:44of honesty between father and son, which makes the father look weak in the eyes of the son. I mean,

38:53I don't know why, I don't know for sure why my father never warned me about women like my mother.

38:59I don't know that. But I assume it's because he feared her vengeance. Or not her vengeance. I mean,

39:07men don't fear women in and of themselves. It's not like the women are usually going to come and

39:12beat us up. But men fear women's capacity to rile up other men for violence. Men fear women plus male

39:21violence. And in particular, men fear women plus the male violence of the state. So why did my father

39:30not warn me about women like my mother, which would have actually been quite helpful, would have been

39:36quite helpful for my father to do that. He did not do that and did not ask me what my

39:43dating life was

39:44like or who I was dating. Like I had virtually no contact with my father. And he wrote me a

39:47bunch of

39:48letters. But I had no real contact with him over the course of my life. He just wrote me letters

39:54about what he was doing, where he was going. People, he had a compulsion, a letter writing

39:59compulsion. He once said, at least for me, quite memorably and a little eerily. He said, I, I collect

40:05people the way some people collect stamps. So yeah, he just said it's a compulsion to write. And his

40:11handwriting was terrible. And the letters were boring and never asked me any questions and, and so on.

40:18And so the problem is that then it makes the males look weak because the fathers are constantly

40:27avoiding topics and not being helpful, not giving wisdom. Because how is the father of a child by a

40:37single mother supposed to teach his son about anything other than negative examples, right?

40:44Don't, don't do as I did. And listen, there's nothing wrong with don't do as I did. There's

40:49nothing wrong with that. It can be very helpful. A lot of my life has been defined by don't do

40:55like

40:55my mom and my father did. That's been very, very helpful, right? So the smoker can say, don't smoke,

41:03right? I remember there was a guy at my theater school who, who was a smoker. And when some of

41:11the

41:11other actors were mucking about with smoking, he said, he sat him down and he said, look, here's how

41:16it's going to go. You're going to muck about with smoking. You're going to end up smoking more and

41:19more. And then it's going to turn into a, you know, $6 a day habit. And it's going to, you

41:25won't

41:25be able to climb the stairs very easily. And you're going to be worried about lung cancer for the rest

41:29of your life. Like he just laid it all out. And he himself was a smoker, but he laid it

41:33all out and

41:34said, basically, don't be like me. You know, your fat dad can give you diet advice as long as he

41:39acknowledges don't be like me. And he has to give you diet and exercise advice. That is kind of the

41:45opposite of what he himself has done. I mean, sort of by definition, right? So your father, if he chose

41:53the wrong woman to be the mother of his child or children, your father can give you good advice,

41:58but only at the expense of renewed hysterical, horrible battles with a woman that he ran away from

42:07because she was a mean and low down, dirty, ugly fighter or whatever it is, right? Too aggressive,

42:14too hysterical, too abusive, too belittling, too whatever, right? And so the father looks weak and

42:21the mother looks dominant and the father can't be honest and can't instruct the children on how to

42:27avoid women like the mother, because that puts him on a collision course with the, uh, with the

42:35mother, with the, uh, his ex, right? Which he doesn't want to do, especially when she comes with the

42:40power of the state and of legal aid, so she's going to get legal aid for free, she's going to

42:46get free

42:47lawyers, he's got to pay for his, and it's brutal. I mean, if you've ever been around a man whose

42:53ex or the

42:54mother of his child or children is gunning for him, it's a hideous existence. I knew a guy whose ex

43:02was

43:02gunning for him, and every time the phone rang, he went all different kinds of colors, because he was

43:08just expecting some new horrible thing, some new horrible demand that was going to cost him five or

43:13ten thousand dollars, and, you know, dozens of hours of his life and stress and sleeplessness. I mean,

43:20he was, basically had electrodes attached to his nads that his wife could hammer from a distance,

43:27or his ex-wife could hammer from a distance at any time. It was no good. And, I mean, I

43:33remember

43:34another guy with a bad ex, and I said, well, why did you get together with her? And he said,

43:38well,

43:38my self-esteem was so low, I just married the first woman who would have sex with me. And again,

43:42that's part of the drive, right? The sort of sex drive that, that's what your genes are telling you

43:48to do. So there's a genetic revolt at almost every level against the single motherhood, and this is why

43:55the battles tend to be so brutal and desperate between sons and single mothers. And this is why,

44:03in order to find a quality woman, you have to leave your single mother behind most times. Again,

44:09maybe she goes through some genuine revolution, she goes through some real soul awakening, some

44:15responsibility gathering, or something like that. Maybe she does that. I mean, I don't hold any

44:21possibility, really, about that. That's like saying, well, I don't need to pay for my retirement because

44:26I played the lottery once a week, and I'll win $5 million, right? I mean, that's not a plan, right?

44:33That's not rational, not reasonable. So, that is the brutality of a single motherhood. And this is why

44:44a lot of, quote, misogynists come from single mother households. There's really not much that we can do

44:56other than perhaps a complete reform with the, I mean, to get rid of the welfare state and to reform

45:01the

45:01family court system would solve a lot of these problems. But that ain't happening anytime soon. So, there's no

45:09real way to avoid this at the moment. It just is a fact. And this is not because I can

45:17solve these

45:17problems, but because knowing why these problems exist can help you solve them in yourself.

45:22Freedomain.com slash donate. Please, please, please do help out the show. Freedomain.com slash donate.

45:28Lots of love from up here. I'll talk to you soon. Bye.

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