Love for Fathers!

Stefan Molyneux

Happy Father's Day on this 21st of June, 2026!  Philosopher Stefan Molyneux celebrates love for fathers by showing how they focus on older kids, teaching risk management, merit, and real skills while mothers lean toward protection and social acceptance. He advocates for letting fathers do their job instead of letting modern safety obsessions and state power weaken kids.  0:00:00 Fatherhood and Family Roles  0:06:12 Raising Babies, Raising Rules  0:11:02 Risk, Safety, and the State  0:18:08 Learning Courage Through Play  0:24:25 Friendship as Social Merit  0:29:25 Mothers, Dads, and Inclusion  0:32:24 Complaints, Merit, and the Spear  0:40:34 Different Seriousness, Different Genders  0:41:32 Politics, Manipulation, and Power  0:46:42 Questions, Books, and Farewell   GET FREEDOMAIN MERCH! https://shop.freedomain.com/  SUBSCRIBE TO ME ON X! https://x.com/StefanMolyneux  Follow me on Youtube! https://www.youtube.com/@freedomain1  GET MY NEW BOOK 'PEACEFUL PARENTING', THE INTERACTIVE PEACEFUL PARENTING AI, AND THE FULL AUDIOBOOK! https://peacefulparenting.com/  Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!  Subscribers get 12 HOURS on the "Truth About the French Revolution," multiple interactive multi-lingual philosophy AIs trained on thousands of hours of my material - as well as AIs for Real-Time Relationships, Bitcoin, Peaceful Parenting, and Call-In Shows!  You also receive private livestreams, HUNDREDS of exclusive premium shows, early release podcasts, the 22 Part History of Philosophers series and much more!  See you soon! https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/FREEDOMAIN2026

Transcript

00:00Good morning. Welcome to your Sunday morning philosophy show and happy Father's Day to

00:08everyone. You have a father. Hopefully you are a father or will become a father. It is

00:15one of the greatest and deepest joys in the known universe, which is kind of exactly what you would

00:22expect. Of course, since it is a huge time and money investment, you'd expect nature to make it

00:34a great deal of fun. And it is a great deal of fun, especially if you have a witty and

00:43sarcastic child,

00:44as I do. It's very funny. It's very funny. She came down earlier than usual this morning,

00:53and I, of course, pretended that she was a hologram and remarked just how vivid it actually

00:58was, how realistic it actually was, how it really felt like she was actually right there in the room

01:04being projected from her sleeping form upstairs at some point, at which point she offered very kindly

01:12to pour honey on my forehead, claiming that if honey was on my forehead, it might actually make it less

01:17oily. It's very funny. So I hope you had a good dad. If you didn't have a good dad, I'm

01:26sorry about

01:27that. If your mother didn't choose a good father for her children, I'm sorry about that too. But the

01:34great thing about having bad parents, it's a great instruction manual on how to be a good parent. All you

01:40have to do is the polar opposite. And if you do the polar opposite, man, you are all set.

01:50So even the negative instruction can be a very positive instruction. And the one thing that I

01:54would say, and I'm happy to take calls this morning, but the one thing that I would say

01:57about parenthood is that the massive compatibility between men and women, I think is best expressed

02:07in the different things they take seriously and the different things they take less seriously.

02:16So men have evolved to finish raising children. Women have evolved to start raising children.

02:26women are almost personality opaque when babies are very little. And what I mean by that is you

02:33don't have much of a sense of self when you're taking care of a baby because the baby's needs are

02:39so omnipresent, the baby can't negotiate. So you have to, and I say this having myself taking care

02:44of a baby, you almost have to cease to exist. And so the fact that a lot of women don't

02:52seem to have

02:53very strong, knowledgeable, particular perspectives and so on. A lot of women, not all, of course,

02:58right? And there's a lot of men that way too, but a few more women. You have to kind of

03:03cease to

03:03exist in a way when you're dealing with babies because you can't really negotiate. You can't

03:08really express a preference. You can't, you just have to conform like water being poured

03:13into a jar or a bowl. You just have to conform to what the baby needs. It's a pretty wild

03:18experience

03:19to not exist as an ego. You have to be without ego in order to take care of babies and

03:27toddlers.

03:30And it's a pretty wild experience. And again, remember that women evolved to take care of

03:38babies and toddlers for most of their lives, right? You'd get married in your middle eight

03:43teens, evolutionarily speaking, or you'd pair bond up. You'd start having babies pretty much right away.

03:49And then you would have as many babies really as your system could handle for the most part.

03:55A lot of them would die and you'd still have to take care of the others. I mean,

04:01people sometimes get concerned. And I remember seeing this a couple of times

04:06where women can just turn their feelings off. You know, like if they're upset with some guy or

04:11whatever, they go from sort of very passionate to just cold, right? Just don't care about you

04:16at all. I mean, I remember having a very passionate relationship with a woman

04:22at a high school. And we were together, I think, about two years. And then for some reason,

04:29I had to call her a year after we broke up. And it was really like absolutely talking to a

04:33stranger.

04:34Now, I'm not saying that she should have kept her flame or anything like that. I get all of that.

04:37But

04:38when women move on, they move on. And part of the reason for that, of course, is that women

04:43can't overly grieve in many ways because nature was so brutal with their offspring, right? Your child

04:50is dying in your arms. Your next one survives. The next one dies in your arms. There's nothing you

04:54can do. And you just got to soldier on. You got to soldier on. And there's really not much time

05:03to

05:03grieve. And then, you know, there's a war. Your man dies. Or there's an industrial accident or some

05:09sort of hunting accident or farm accident. Ah, it's brutal. Brutal in history. So women have to be able

05:17to turn their feelings off because they have to be able to move on and have the kid survive. And

05:22then

05:22the kid dies and you've got to move on. And so you just kind of have... So there's a pair

05:26bonding for

05:27sure. But the continuity of emotion is a little bit different for women. And so women would, you

05:34know, in their 20s, they'd be having babies. In their 30s, it would start to fade out a little bit

05:38depending on whether they had sort of early onset menopause or something like that. And then, of

05:43course, by the time they're in their 40s and their eggs are pretty much gone, well, the kids they had

05:53in

05:53their early 20s are now having kids themselves. And they're a grandmother. And so they're helping

05:59with the next generation of toddlers and so on. And they are really designed to deal with creatures

06:09you cannot really negotiate with. And because there was no particular rational proof of ethics,

06:16of course, until universally preferable behavior almost 20 years ago that I wrote, women had to

06:24be, in a sense, slaves to their babies because you've just got to do what the baby needs. And then

06:29they had to be kind of bullies to their toddlers because you've got to teach the toddlers the social

06:35customs, the religious customs, the right and wrong, the habits, the politeness. Like, I remember

06:41when my mother was not religious, but when I would go and visit my aunts on my father's side

06:46in Ireland, very religious, very religious. One of my earliest memories is trying to sneak

06:53a five-penny piece that I was supposed to put in the collection plate into my sock so that I

06:59could

06:59spend it later at the candy store and hopefully buy a Curly Whirly, which is a pretty sweet toffee

07:06treat in the UK, I guess. And as they show me, they were very, very, very brusque, not punitive.

07:15I was never punished by them. All right, show me your coins. And I'm like, oh, I kept mine in

07:19my sock

07:20for safekeeping. I was really a terrible liar as a kid. And they're like, well, it's supposed to go

07:26in the collection plate. But they were very strict about politeness and rules and table manners

07:33and all of that. And so, I mean, there's no particular explanation. It's just nice. It's

07:39what's expected. It's the right thing. It's the proper thing. They're just rules that you have to

07:42copy-paste into your children's brains with no particular rationale or justification.

07:47Elbows off the table. Well, why? And of course, elbows off the table made kind of sense in the past

07:53when everybody was really crowded around a table. But when you've got room, it's, it's, it's,

07:57what did they say? Not that it's, it's crass, it's coarse. All of these things are just synonyms

08:02for people will think you're in the lower class. It's all. Do not be mistaken for somebody who

08:07was raised in the lower class. Because in the UK, that's like a huge deal. And so, they turn

08:15from, in a sense, slaves to babies to kind of bullies of toddlers. Which is why a woman can

08:24totally fall for you and be your, quote, servant or, you know, really conform to what it is that

08:29you want. And then a flip, a switch can flip. And then she suddenly becomes aggressive or a bully

08:36or something. And again, this is not all women, but it's certainly some women. And again, some men,

08:41just a little bit more women than men, just to sort of be clear. There's this line, what was it?

08:47Some, the Tropic of Cancer writer, Norman, someone or other, he said, you never know your wife.

08:52You never really know your wife until you meet her in court. Norman Mailer, yeah, did he stab his

08:57wife, I think, with a knife? And he said, well, if it's only a knife, there's some love left.

09:02And this, the switch that flips in some women from being devoted to being tyrannical is because

09:10women have to be egolessly devoted to babies, and then they have to be very tyrannical to toddlers.

09:17That's how culture gets replicated and how rules get enforced. And then, of course, as children sort

09:22of sail into the, there's a latency period from the end of toddlerhood until a year or two before

09:31puberty, where the personality is pretty calm and things are pretty stable and so on.

09:35And usually, that's the time when the children are supposed to transfer from the females to the

09:42males. I mean, it's an old Jewish law that if there's a divorce, the women get the children

09:46until the age of seven, and then they move to the fathers. And women worry excessively about two

09:59things. Now, excessively is the male perspective from later. It's all evolution, so it's all perfect

10:05in the way that it's evolved. But women worry more about two things. They worry more about physical

10:15injuries, and they worry more about social acceptance. And one of the reasons they worry

10:24more about physical injuries is that boys are giant, blur-legged death magnets. They climb

10:32everything. They jump on everything. They'll jump straight into a pond. They will jump off a wall

10:37without checking. They're just absolute blur-legged death magnets. And so you have to worry about physical

10:43injuries for boys because they have the common sense of a goose's ass when it comes to physical

10:49safety. I remember those phases myself. There's no particular sense of physical danger, physical

10:54safety. So women worry more about physical dangers for their boys, and they worry more about social

10:59acceptance for their girls. And, you know, one of the problems with sort of the scold, woke,

11:06turbo-caron society that we live in now is that physical danger has been banned, and social acceptance

11:14has been brutally enforced. These things are fine when it's just in the family, right? But they're not fine

11:20when they're turned over to the government, to the state, to the state, because then it becomes tyranny.

11:27And this is all perfectly appropriate. It's all perfectly appropriate to little boys and little

11:35girls. It's just that when you ally these instincts with the power of the state, then you end up with

11:41a tyranny. I was watching a video last night with my daughter of, it was a joke video. Some guy

11:52was

11:53saying to a lifeguard, hey, Ryan, would you rather watch people swim all day or jump out of the blazing

12:01hot sun into the pool? And then the voiceover was, well, you know, it's really important to keep people

12:06safe who come to use this pool, and that's my job, and blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile, the guy jumped off

12:11his lifeguard chair, ran around the pool, and got on a giant diving board and took a big flip into

12:18the

12:19border. And I was saying to my daughter, I said, you know, when was the last time, when was the

12:26last

12:26time we went to a pool with a diving board? They almost completely vanished. You go look at these

12:36playgrounds from like the 1920s, these massive structures, giant slides, all on bone-shattering

12:45concrete. They probably threw around bits of glass to challenge the children's feet, try and turn them

12:51into hobbits or something. The danger has been stripped away. We used to go to this petting zoo

13:00from time to time. It was really cool. I mean, you could pick up the baby goats. I wrote about

13:06this

13:06actually in my novel, The Future. You should really check it out. It's a great book, freedomaine.com

13:11slash books. And we used to be able to lift these goats up, carry the goats, baby goats. I remember

13:19we

13:19would lift the goats up so that they could nibble on the leaves of the trees. It was huge fun,

13:23huge

13:23fun. And then, boom, one day we go. What's happened? You're not even allowed to touch the animals

13:31anymore. I mean, deflated, right? We barely went back. And I asked, because I'm always curious. I'm

13:39like, well, we used to be able to pick up the goat. Oh, one of the hooves of the goat

13:45scratched

13:46the kid's leg and the mother threatened to sue. And so now the kids can't touch. You can feed them,

13:52but you can't really touch them. You're not even allowed to pet them. And of course, this

13:56hyper lawsuit planet that people live in, I think is particularly true. In the States, it's just,

14:02well, my child is hurt. My child is hurt. And women feel, you know, I mean, the child came from

14:10their

14:10flesh. Like they feel it as more than the child feels it. I get all of that. I get all

14:15of that.

14:18But this bubble wrapped childhood of hyper protection does not protect people.

14:25You have to be able to push the envelope physically so that you can learn how to manage risk. Because

14:32if you can't learn how to manage risk, you really can't have much of a life. It's risky to go

14:37ask for

14:37a raise. It's risky to leave a job and try and get a new job. It's risky to go and

14:42ask the girl that

14:43you want out. It's risky to drive a car. It's everything is risk. And the one thing that's

14:52really true of contemporary matriarchal, significantly fatherless Western society is we've completely lost

15:00the ability to process and manage risk. It's gone, man. People view terrible risks as completely safe

15:11and they view relatively safe activities as completely dangerous. I mean, I'm not saying

15:16look, I think it's a good thing that people wear bike helmets. I think it's a good thing

15:20that kids wear bike helmets. I remember a friend of mine's girlfriend, uh, when she learned

15:25that I was, I used to bike to work an hour and a quarter to get to work and like

15:33on the

15:33roads, obviously. And she's like, do you wear a helmet? And she, I'm like, no, I hadn't even

15:38really thought. I never really thought of it. And I wore headphones. I couldn't hear anything.

15:42And I did this for a long time. And she's, she, she worked a volunteer line, like a call center

15:51line, a call center line for emergencies. And she said the number of people like who end up with

15:59horrible brain damage from biking and falling and not wearing a helmet. So she did convince me to wear a

16:05helmet and I did end up wearing a helmet. So I think those things are good. I think those things

16:09are good. I don't know, man, though, the knee pads, elbow pads, helmet, wrist guards, and so on

16:16for things like roller skating, or I guess rollerblading is the thing now, skateboarding and so on.

16:21Ah, you know, I mean, I remember when I was a kid, when I lived in England, there was this

16:27big

16:27curved pathway that went from the relatively nicer flats or apartment buildings down to the real

16:33grungy bungalows. The guy sitting out front with empty cans of lager and wife beater t-shirts on and

16:40chest hair and guts and spindly legs. It's the British physiognomy, like a little bit of chest

16:45hair, giant gut and spindly legs. And my friends and I used to take our skateboards and we would grab

16:53a handful of sticks and we would go down the skateboards. And the goal was to drop a stick

17:00and win the race. If you drop a stick, if you drop a stick at the right angle at the

17:03right size of

17:04stick, the skateboard would just stop, like hit the stick and just break. And this is all while

17:12navigating a fairly fast curve. And there were two railings and then a big drop, a big drop from

17:19there down to a sort of grassy area, a drop at like at least eight to 10 feet. I mean,

17:25I know that

17:25you remember these things differently because you're young and all of that, but I'm pretty sure

17:29it was pretty high because I remember hanging from it and it was still a long way down. So

17:34eight to 10 feet was one of the courage tests was to hang and drop. That's how you knew you

17:39were a big

17:39kid now. So we would go down these, these curved concrete areas as curved concrete. It was a walkway

17:47and we would be focusing on trying to drop the sticks and get the other kid to have a skateboard.

17:54And he'd go tumbling off the skateboard if it is, you're going fairly fast. And then if it slows down

17:58really quickly, you go tumbling off the skateboard and you'd have your strawberry knees and elbows and

18:03so on. But it was considered a mark of manhood to not complain too much about these things. And it

18:08was a

18:09great deal of fun because here's the thing. What is life if you don't have any stakes? What is life

18:14if you don't

18:14have any stakes? I mean, why, why? I mean, who, who, who bothers really playing the video game in

18:23God mode or attractive young female mode? People say God mode, it should be goddess mode. I mean,

18:30you need the stakes, right? And it was hysterically fun. Great memories. And I do remember one time

18:37and you know, this taught me something. Uh, one time I was focusing too hard on getting my friend's

18:43skateboard, the drop in the stick to get my friend's skateboard to stop so that I would win

18:48the race. Uh, and I was looking back too far. And what happened? Well, I was sitting on my

18:53skateboard with my knees up. I was that young, I guess, sitting on my skateboard with my knees up

18:58and I was about to go over the edge to go 10 feet down now onto grass. So it would

19:03have been bad,

19:03but not terrible. And, uh, Oh, shins, man. Oh, bark in the shins. They call it. It's really the worst

19:10thing. Cause shins, I don't know about yours. My shins are kind of sharp on the front and because

19:15I had my knees up, I went into the lower metal bar full tilt and clanged my shins to the

19:22point

19:22where my vision went blurry. It was really bad. Like I, I could barely walk. And, uh, so what I

19:30still

19:31think about that occasionally, you know, every now and then when you're driving, you want to switch

19:35lanes or something and you're checking your blind spot and there's some D bag who's in your blind

19:41spot and you're checking it. And then you remember, Oh my God, I gotta, I gotta make sure I check

19:46ahead

19:46of me too, just in case traffic is stopped or, or something like that. Somebody's somebody coming

19:50into my lane or whatever. And so I think about that from time to time that, you know, don't check

19:54behind too much. Don't try and win too much that you clang your knees on a metal bar to the

20:01point

20:01where you're worried you're going to end up with permanent dog shaped legs for the rest

20:06of your life. It's a good lesson. It's a good lesson. Probably saved my life at one time

20:13or another having that base body memory. And I think, I think I've been pretty good at navigating

20:21risk over the course of my life. I mean, telling the truth to a volatile NPC world is quite the

20:32extreme sport to put it mildly. And I think I've done, I do review this every now and then,

20:37like in my mind, how have I done? Have I, have I told enough truth to be valuable, but not

20:43so much

20:44truth that you get strung up by your buster browns, as the mayor says in Jaws. I think I've

20:51navigated pretty well. I've taken a good chunk of risks in my life. I did, when I had my first

20:58programming job, I worked there for less than a year and I used to take these very long lunches to

21:03try

21:03and get my side business started, take these meetings and so on, which is a bit risky. And I

21:08ended up quitting my first regular paycheck at a professional job to start a business. It worked

21:14out pretty well. Worked out, had a wild time in that entrepreneurial world. And then I took time

21:23off from that to write books, which was a risk. And of course, you know, some of my risks don't

21:28pay

21:28off, right? I spent a year and a half writing, researching, writing books. I read The God of

21:34Atheists and took Canada's Best Writing Class and wrote my novel Almost, which is like a 300,000 plus

21:43word. It's basically three books and it's amazing, amazing books, fantastic books. If I do say so

21:49myself, again, freedomain.com slash books. And that did not pay off. I got the most amazing reviews from

21:55professional editors and professional readers. One even called it The God of Atheists. Finally,

22:02we have the great Canadian novel. This is the most amazing moral story I've ever read and blah,

22:06blah, blah. Like just, and I thought, man, I thought, of course, I didn't realize since my books

22:11generally criticize collectivism, leftism, and postmodernism. The God of Atheists has a character

22:21who is scathingly funny about postmodernism. And of course, I wouldn't get published for those

22:28reasons because I still thought there was something about a meritocracy in publishing.

22:31So my naivete. So some of my gambles, the gamble of throwing a fair amount of money to support myself

22:40and taking a year and a half of my life to try and get published, those gambles did not pay

22:46off.

22:47I mean, they paid off in that I have these great books, but it did not pay off in terms

22:52of having

22:52any kind of career or anything like that. So those gambles didn't pay off. Some of the gambles I took

22:59in my show, talking about IQ, talking about crime, talking about feminism, talking about

23:10the voluntary family, peaceful parenting, and all of that. I mean, some of those were, you know,

23:17pretty, pretty close to the cliff edge, pretty close to the cliff edge. I felt like a, I felt like

23:22a stuntman, a drunken stuntman. But, you know, I think sort of in hindsight, I, I, I got really

23:29essential truths out. And, you know, so I had some less than ideally comfortable bits of time in my

23:37life, but began probably close to 2 billion assaults prevented against children. And I can't even tell

23:44you how many kids, how many boys weren't circumcised because of the work that I did. And yeah, I mean,

23:49that's just cost benefit overall plus. And, you know, I also have the pride and self-satisfaction of

23:57having done these good things, which took some courage, perhaps. I tend a bit more towards

24:04foolhardiness, but I did the right things in high risk. And I think one of the reasons why I did

24:11the

24:11right things at high risk is that I learned how to manage risk as a little kid. And because of

24:17that,

24:19I think I was better at trying to manage kids, that's right, trying to manage risks as an adult.

24:26Now, of course, moms are concerned that their children are going to be rejected by their peers,

24:32right? You know, the sort of terrible stories that moms have of, uh, my boy is just a little strange

24:38or

24:38just a little different or just a little odd. And he never gets invited to any birthday parties or,

24:43you know, these absolutely heartbreaking stories of the kids who throw birthday parties and they rent

24:48the clowns and the face paints and put up the balloons and the ribbons and nobody comes. Like

24:54just, just, I mean, just heartbreaking, heartbreaking stuff for sure. And that's painful to people,

24:59of course. Of course, it's painful to people. I mean, it would have to be. Yeah. And these are

25:06very sad situations with kids who don't get invited to the birthday parties or don't, nobody comes to

25:13their birthday parties. It's funny, you know, I was, I was always sort of in the middle of popularity.

25:19I was never the most popular kid, but I certainly was never, I was never rejected or isolated. Like

25:27I always had, always had friends, always had people to hang with, always had people and people

25:31always came to my parties and I would go to people's parties and all of that. I was never

25:38like the in demand must have kid in the center of social attention, but I certainly was never

25:44rejected or isolated in that kind of way. Because I mean, one of the things that was sort of important

25:51for me was to make sure that the people I was spending time with had a good time. Like it's

25:56sort

25:56of a basic, it was kind of an instinct, I think, which is such sort of a basic thing, which

26:00is

26:01just make sure that the people who you're spending time with are enjoying their time with you.

26:06It's a basic social transaction thing. And I think that a lot of the people who are kind of rejected

26:12are the people who don't really think about, like they have this expectation or this entitlement,

26:16which is, well, I mean, people just want to spend time with me. Like I, I, I deserve an invitation

26:23to a party. And, uh, well, you don't, you don't, you don't deserve an invitation to a party

26:31and you don't deserve that anyone comes to your party. It's a simple transaction. The first

26:37free market for experience is friendship. It's really, really important to, you know, grind into

26:46your bone marrow. The first free market we ever experience is friendship. You have family

26:53have to spend time with you and people in school kind of got to be around you because everybody

27:02has to go to school for the most part. And all of that, the teacher's got to be there. You

27:09go to

27:09church. Everybody's got to be there. They're not really making choices. But when it comes

27:17to spontaneous, unplanned, unorganized, you know, if you go to karate, right, to take the

27:29cue from the fine lady from Wednesday, I think it was Wednesday or Friday we talked about this.

27:34Because if you, if you go to karate, your kids in karate, then the, you know, there's going to be

27:39like kids around and the kids are going to spar with you or whatever it is, right? Go to hockey,

27:45you can have a hockey team. Kids are going to be around, but it's in the spontaneous unplanned

27:50activities that the first free market is experienced by most people. The kids just getting together

27:55at someone's house. You don't have to be there. It's not organized. And this is, I think,

27:59one of the reasons why people have defaulted to this crazy expensive, endlessly expensive

28:05children's activities. I was a friend, a business partner I had many years ago was like, ah, you know,

28:11when I was a kid, but just went out to play. Now, every time your kids go anywhere, it's 50

28:15bucks,

28:15a hundred bucks. You know, Chuck E. Cheese, go to the movies, mall. I want to go laser tag. Everything

28:21is crazy expensive. Well, I think we all know the reason for that.

28:29Huh. Maybe some of the dysfunctional poor people are kept away from the more expensive places

28:34and your kids are safer. I don't know. Could be, right? Probably. So that's where people experience

28:42the free market is in friendships. Are you invited? Now, if you're not invited, if you're not invited

28:47someplace as a kid, I mean, what's your dad going to say? Your mom's heart is going to be broken

28:54and

28:54she's going to get angry and she's going to take it personally. And this is all evolved, right? This is

28:59all

28:59evolved because if your kid is rejected by the peer group, well, they're not really going to

29:05reproduce. So you get kind of upset if you invest all this time, effort, and energy into your kids

29:09and then they get rejected by their peer group, which means they're going to be much less likely

29:13to succeed, to reproduce, to become part of the hunting tribe or to have family support, get married,

29:22get wooed, all that kind of stuff. So there's grave danger. Now, what do women do when their kids are

29:29rejected? Well, they get mad at the other parents. How come my kid wasn't invited to your birthday

29:37party? Huh? How come? All the other kids were invited and this is why you end up with these stupid

29:43rules in schools and other places that if you're going to invite a kid, you've got to invite every kid.

29:48Subsidies, right? Parents will just, the moms will get mad. Moms will get mad and they will demand

29:55that their kid be included. I don't think that's really the dad's approach. The dad's approach is

30:04not to force others to include the kid, but to figure out how to make the kid more appealing to

30:12be

30:13included. So you've got some kid who doesn't get picked for the baseball team and the mom will

30:20get mad. If it's, even if it's just some local baseball team, some pickup, like we used to play

30:24pickup, uh, soccer, we used to play pickup, uh, baseball Saturdays were for baseball, Sundays were

30:32for, sorry. Yeah. Saturdays for baseball, Sundays for soccer. We used to play. And if there's some

30:39pickup game and your kid isn't picked for baseball, the moms will get mad that the kid is excluded

30:45and will want to force inclusion for their kid. I mean, honestly, this is just the root of the DEI

30:52stuff. It's not even political. Fundamentally, it's maternal. So-and-so is sad, excluded, marginalized,

30:59underrepresented. That's unfair. That's wrong. And therefore we have to force inclusion.

31:06Now, what do dads do? I mean, we all know if we've had decent dads, we all know that if

31:13let's

31:14say you, you've got a dad and his son, Bobby is not picked or isn't chosen or isn't asked to

31:19come

31:19and play baseball, what does the dad do? Well, the dad says, well, dang son, I guess we got to

31:28get you

31:28to be better at baseball. Right? Let's go, let's go throw and catch. Let's go practice hitting the

31:35ball. Let's go do all of that. And that's just a different approach. If you're not included,

31:43the moms get mad. If you're not included, the dads work on your skills. Because women are about

31:53equality of outcome, men are about meritocracy. Equality of outcome is perfect for little kids.

32:02Meritocracy is essential for the survival of the society. In Father's Day, we see this, of course,

32:09all the time. Oh, it's gut-wrenching. It's wretched, horrifying. It's one of the most repulsive

32:16things about modern Western society. And there's a lot to be repulsed about. And there's a lot to praise,

32:20lots of praise. Still wouldn't want to live anywhere else at any other time. But there's

32:25some pretty repulsive stuff too. One of the most repulsive things about modern Western society

32:33is the people who win are the whiners, the complainers, the naggers, the tantrum throwers,

32:41all of the people who act with what would be to me a despicable lack of pride and self-respect

32:46tend to win. It's gross. It's gross. Success in the modern West has so often something to do with

32:58just a blank-eyed humiliation ritual. Well, if you're going to complain enough, we'll give you

33:02stuff. If you complain and if you play helpless and spineless and we can't get ahead and we can't

33:09do this and that and the other, oh, then we'll give you stuff. We'll give you preferential treatment.

33:12If you bow, scrape, and humiliate yourself and pretend that you're helpless, well, then we'll

33:18bend the law to give you stuff. Which means that men and women with any actual pride end up being

33:29fleeced and the people who are eager, happy, thrilled, and excited to pretend to be helpless and

33:39marginalized. Well, they get all the goodies. And that's not how men, in general, operate.

33:47In general, you don't give your one spear to the whiniest guy. You can't because you've got to come

33:55home with some meat because otherwise your family's going to starve. You've got one spear or even if

34:01you've got a bunch of spears, you don't give the first throw, right, because you've got to have the

34:06mighty warrior, throw the spear at the creature you're hunting. Because if you throw and miss,

34:11they run and then you've got to go find them and then they're alarmed and it's really hard to, so

34:16you've got that first guy better be like dead-eye dick. You better arm like a piston, eyes like lasers,

34:25spear like a fork of lightning straight through the deer's chest. Man, you've got to give the first

34:31strike to the best hunter. Not the guy who whines the most, not the guy who complains that, oh man,

34:36nobody ever gives me the spear. Come on, guys, guys, let me give it a try. Right? And he goes

34:44home to mom and says, you know, the guys won't even let me throw the spear, man. Oh, come on.

34:48I mean,

34:48I just, all I want to do is throw the spear, man. Those guys, they get painted on the cave

34:52wall.

34:53They get all the chicks, man. They're the rock stars. I mean, they never let me throw the spear,

34:57man. I shouldn't do that for too long. I feel it's going to change my personality or something.

35:07We've all heard this endless tinnitus mosquito whine of complaints that come from people. And of

35:14course, you know, women are like, how come you don't let Squinty Bob over there? Come on, give him a

35:21chance with the spear. And we're like, the guys are like, well, we did give Squinty Bob there a chance

35:26with the spear. I mean, look, you can see over there. Do you see all those marks on that tree?

35:32Do you know how many, because that's where we practice throwing the spear. I throw a spear at the

35:35tree. Now, do you know how many of those marks were made by Squinty Bob when we were practicing

35:40spear throwing? Zero. Zero. In fact, we've learned not to make any comments to Squinty Bob when he's

35:50about to throw a spear because they'll literally turn around and the motion is still going and we got

35:55a duck. Otherwise, we're going to get a spear through the eyeball. So we can't give Squinty

35:59Bob the spear. He can't hit anything. It's not personal. You like the meat. You like having

36:05calories for the kids. Well, we can't give Squinty Bob the spear because then we don't get any meat.

36:12And the fact that he wants to throw the spear, I get it. But we can't afford it, right?

36:19Men have to operate on raw meritocracy. Otherwise, the tribe dies. Women have to operate on equality

36:27of outcome or the children die because the younger, smaller children will be outmuscled

36:32by the larger, stronger children who will get all the food. The younger, smaller children

36:38will be malnourished, more susceptible to illness, infection, disease. So, yep, women have to force

36:45equality of outcome. Absolutely. You have to take from the strong and give to the weak. Love them

36:49for that. I love, hey, as a younger sibling, I hugely appreciate the redistribution of income

36:56by force that happens from women. I'm not sure my brother would have been laying me out a feast

37:00and a spread. He was a little bit focused on his own interests, which, you know, whatever.

37:06Elder sibling thing, it's fine. But no, I'm alive. My ancestors were alive. You're alive. We're all

37:12alive because women forcibly redistribute resources from the stronger to the weaker and will nag

37:19and complain. If that's not achieved, and they should. It's not like as a two-year-old,

37:24I could advocate for myself. Stop hugging all the food. Give your brother some food. Take

37:30it away if you have to. Use force if you have to. That all makes sense. It's all healthy.

37:37Again, none of this stuff is unhealthy. Sex is healthy unless it's adult forced. Charity is

37:47healthy. Theft is not. Things are healthy until political power takes over. Charity is very

37:56healthy and necessary. There are people who fall upon misfortune and need help. But political

38:03coercive redistribution is neither moral nor healthy. I mean, the welfare state was in

38:09many ways introduced so that people would get so dependent upon the system that it would

38:13prove immune to change, say, through collapse by people who would rather it collapse so they

38:19can institute more, well, communism. Let's be frank. That's what they're kind of after. A stable

38:26functional system can't be changed for the worst. Why do you destabilize the system? Anyway,

38:31this is totalitarianism 101, destabilize, take over. So the woman's instinct when a child

38:39is excluded is to force inclusion. The man's instinct, the father's instinct, when someone

38:46is excluded is to up their skill so that they provide value. And therefore, the inclusion will

38:54happen on its own. You don't force the inclusion. You raise the skill. And, you know, if you've

39:03got some kid, it's like, man, my friends keep having these Fortnite games. I never get invited.

39:10All right, well, show me what you got, kid. I'll learn a little bit about Fortnite. Show me what

39:14you got. And if every time the kid loses a Fortnite, he throws a tantrum, well, people don't want to

39:23play. Of course they don't. Of course they don't want to play. Would you? No. I mean, people should

39:30be into winning. I get that. But learning how to be a gracious loser, which is something I still

39:34occasionally fumble, but learning how to be a gracious loser is kind of important. Because if

39:40you don't learn how to be a gracious loser, people find it kind of stressful and unpleasant to play with

39:44you. I mean, if you've ever played racket sports, and I've been sort of in leagues and so on,

39:50you'll come across these guys who, like, you know, they missed a serve and like, come on,

39:57you know, they're really mad at themselves. Come on, red-faced. I played once with a guy,

40:02threw his racket. Threw his racket. I don't want to play with that. Because it's not fun.

40:09Hey, I like to win. I like a good competition. But you've got to shake hands afterwards. There's

40:14an intensity, but a good nature and a good humor about it. You don't want to play chess with a

40:19guy

40:20who'll punch you in the nose if you take his queen. That's a, well, high stakes, but not psycho

40:27stakes. Kind of the important thing. Juno, I'll get you in a sec. Hang tight. Thank you for your

40:32patience. So men and women take different things seriously. I mean, women take doctor's appointments

40:41seriously, and they should. Dentist appointments, optometrist appointments, all of that. They take

40:47washing hands, like you're keeping a tidy house, clean, all of that stuff. They take more seriously

40:52than men as a whole, and they should. And that's healthy and helpful. My wife takes natural food

41:00very seriously. And I'm glad she does. It helped contribute to my fairly robust health, and I

41:07appreciate it. I mean, me, food is mostly just fuel. Like I'd eat a still frozen pizza in the box

41:15if it

41:15was more convenient for me. But the fact that she cooks all natural, it's beautiful. I think it's

41:21great that she takes that stuff seriously. I wouldn't, but I appreciate it. I take sort of the future of

41:26the

41:26world perhaps a little bit more seriously than she does. And that's good, too. She helps me lighten up

41:31about some things. I help her lighten up about some things. I mean, dads know this one very well,

41:37that moms are terrified of children injuring themselves, and dads are like, it'd be fine.

41:44It'd be fine. It's kind of how they learn. Even when you want to give them caution, but the kids

41:48also

41:49have to test their own boundaries. And this is one of the things that I really dislike about

41:56the modern world is that politics has been this giant credit card cocaine dividing line

42:05between men and women. Not the best analogy, but you know, you can always sink one with no net.

42:11But politics has become between men and women. Women cleave to the most powerful. I mean,

42:18evolutionarily speaking, they had to, because you get regularly taken over and you have to

42:22cleave to the most powerful. Women will bully the most powerful to get resources if they have to.

42:28You know, if the husband is taking most of the food when he doesn't even really need it,

42:32and there's not enough for the kids, the woman, she can't physically take it, but she has to sort

42:37of nag and withhold sex and manipulate to make sure her children get enough. If she happens to be,

42:41as a lot of women were, mated to a selfish man. She says, hey, hey, fat pig, put down that

42:50food.

42:51Stop eating. Kids are hungry. You don't need it. You don't need it. And she withholds affection,

42:58sex, cold, because she's got to get the food to her kids and she can't physically overpower the man.

43:04So she becomes manipulative and indirect. I had a friend many years ago who somehow got that.

43:13He said somehow, I don't know, right? He got on the Victoria's Secrets mailing list. No, no.

43:18Actually, he showed me one. It was Chihandla Bihing or something like that. He was renting a place.

43:25It was still being mailed to the person who was there previously. But he just, you know, back in the

43:29day, you couldn't just click unsubscribed. You had to sign a whole letter and never got around to it.

43:32So he was going through a tough time with his girlfriend and she used to go to the mail

43:38and make sure that the Victoria's Secrets catalog was not there because she was concerned

43:45that he would flip through it, get turned on and want to have sex and they weren't getting along at

43:50that time. So she didn't want that stress and difficulty. So she would remove anything that

43:57might be sexy in his environment. Of course, she's dressing in the full on granny flannels

44:02and all that kind of stuff as if that matters to men. But anyway, hey, that's really nice

44:10lipstick. Don't kiss me, you little smudge. It's like, well, what's the point? It makes

44:14your lips attractive. I can't kiss them. What's the point? But that was things that would never

44:21cross my mind. Things that would never cross my mind. I would like, if I was dating some woman and

44:26she wanted an expensive handbag, I would never imagine going to the mailbox and removing catalogs

44:31with expensive handbags to not stimulate her materialism. It would never even cross my mind.

44:38But you know, that's male brain, female brain. Female brain is manipulate the environment to get

44:43what you want. Male brain is get what you want for the most part, right? And again, none of this

44:48is

44:48negative to males or females. None of this is negative to males and females. We are a delightful

44:53combination and the most effective and successful combination in all of life, in all of the universe

44:59that we know of. So it's all great. But if you combine it with political power, then women will cleave

45:08to the most powerful. And you see, men will give women resources in return for children. But the

45:16government gives women resources in return for votes. And votes do not encourage the continuation

45:25of your civilization. Say this again. On Father's Day, just understand how the world is and how

45:32it works. Men will give resources to women in return for children. That's why we're so good

45:39at getting resources. Why we have this crazy half-autistic focus and endurance for work and

45:46testosterone and size, strength, power, concentration. We are great at creating resources. We give

45:53resources to women in return for children. Now, of course, giving resources to women in return

45:57for sex is, I mean, even monkeys do that. You introduce a currency to monkeys. The first thing

46:02the men start doing is trading those resources for sex. But of course, in the past, sex meant

46:08children. So men giving women resources in return for sex meant children. Men give resources

46:14to women in return for sex. Governments give resources to women in return for votes. Don't

46:20say children. All right. Oh, man. I was just winding down. Premature elaboration. Sorry, man.

46:28I clean myself up now. People keep dipping in to ask and then maybe they think I'm going to

46:33go on a long speech. They keep dipping in to talk and then they despawn. They vanish.

46:40They ghost me. They did materialize. All right. So if you have a question or comment, criticism,

46:47thoughts on this lovely Father's Day, I am thrilled to hear from you. I know people have

46:53been coming and going. I'm down like the Assyrian Empire, going once, going twice. And go read

47:02my book, The Present. Or listen to it on audiobook. It's really, really good. One of my favorites

47:08though is Dissolution. It's a really good, really good book. And the audiobook reading

47:14on that one is the best I think I've ever done. Freedomain.com slash books. Well, people

47:20are coming, people are going. And mostly, they're going. That's all totally fine. I'm just going

47:26to assume in my pompous manner that the speeches were so great that people did not want you to

47:30interrupt. So have yourselves a beautiful day, everybody. Thank you for dropping by today.

47:35Freedomain.com slash donate to help out the show. Listen, man, I know it's rough out there. I really

47:39do. I really do. But if you could spare a bit of support for your friendly neighborhood philosopher,

47:44I would really, really appreciate it. Freedomain.com slash donate. And if you subscribe, you get

47:49like tons of goodies. Like, no kidding. History of Philosophers, 23-part series, 12-part

47:56series on the French Revolution. And great stuff. Great stuff. So I hope that you will be able to

48:04help and support the show. And lots of love, my friends. I'll talk to you soon. Bye.

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