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RUРАUL'S DRАG RАСЕ S09E08
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00:07Oh, that was a rough, rough one, honey.
00:10Oh.
00:11I feel heartbroken.
00:14Aja's my Brooklyn boo, and I'm really, really going to miss her.
00:17Love you guys.
00:19XOXO, Aja.
00:20Aww.
00:22Anybody got any windex?
00:23The truth is, I'm thrilled to see the room thinning out, because I know I'm the contender
00:29in this competition.
00:30Aren't y'all too Nick the Nick now?
00:31Well, I have two wins, and she has a win, and then a partnered win.
00:36But also, weren't you in the bottom two, and I never even landed in the bottom three.
00:46I'm kind of jealous.
00:47I want to win, too.
00:49Because we're at the point now where if you haven't won at least one challenge, then why
00:55are you here?
00:55But how do you feel when we told us you're perfect?
00:57Again.
00:57They told you you're perfect?
01:00One day she'll run out of perfection.
01:03Yeah, we'd all like to be in the top, but the cookie doesn't always crumble that way.
01:07Thank you, JonBenet Ramsey.
01:10At this point, there's only two girls who have not won any challenges yet.
01:16Peppermint and Farrah.
01:17That ain't a good thing.
01:18Hey, Farrah, thanks for looking like a drag queen today.
01:23Peppermint's for sure in trouble, and Farrah's days are for sure numbered.
01:28Bye-bye.
01:29Do not collect $200.
01:31No cab ride for you.
01:36The winner of RuPaul's Drag Race receives a one-year supply of Anastasia Beverly Hills Cosmetics.
01:41And a cash prize of $100,000.
01:45With extra special guest judges, Fortune Feimster, and Tamar Braxton.
01:49The winner of RuPaul's Drag Race is the best woman.
01:56Hello, world.
01:58It's today.
01:59Good morning.
02:01It's a new day, which means a new challenge.
02:07Hello, hello, hello.
02:12Ladies, I just came from the eye doctor and she prescribed me these new reading glasses.
02:16And her timing could have been better.
02:19Because in the great tradition of passive betting, it's time for the reading challenge.
02:26Because reading is what?
02:28It's fundamental.
02:30Thank you very much.
02:31Sasha Velour, come on down.
02:34The library is open, darling.
02:38Alexis Michelle, Broadway's Calling.
02:41In this case, it's the one in Brooklyn where the whores were.
02:45Che Coulay, you remind me of my favorite movies.
02:49Your fashion, Coming to America.
02:51And your smile, Jurassic Park.
02:55I'm so happy that we have on loan from Madame Tussauds, RuPaul's statue, and Miss Trinity Taylor.
03:03Nina Bonina Brown, your pads are so big.
03:07You bent down to pick something up off the street and the garbage man says, who left this raggedy couch
03:12here?
03:13Good will pick up is on Sunday.
03:16Paramon, all those men's that buy you fancy designer shoes, they're not your boyfriends.
03:21They're called johns and they're your employers.
03:25Che Che Coulay, you sure are a scene stealer.
03:29I guess gnawing on set pieces explains those teeth.
03:32Oh!
03:34That felt good.
03:37Valentina.
03:37Yeah.
03:38Your wardrobe sure does look expensive, but money can't buy talent.
03:42Oh.
03:44Farrah, you really are the...
03:50Oh!
03:53Peppermint, you assassinated Cynthia in the lip sync, but did you have to practice on your wardrobe?
03:59Nina Bonina Brown, Jurassica Parker.
04:01I hate this.
04:03You've had some ups and downs in this competition, and I cannot wait to read it all in your biography,
04:08Fifty Shades of Ashy.
04:11Alexis, Michelle, you're oh so Broadway, but you're also very broad.
04:18Trinity Taylor, I once told you that you're so beautiful inside and out.
04:22I lied, you ugly stripper.
04:26Ladies, we're going to do an exercise.
04:29Everybody raise your arms up to the sky.
04:32And Shay, this is for you.
04:34One word.
04:35Deodorant, bitch.
04:39Peppermint.
04:40You need one.
04:43I told y'all she's sneaky.
04:45I'm like, God, I hate doing this kind of stuff.
04:47I know.
04:47Sasha, you and Rue have a lot in common.
04:51He's bald, you bald, he wear glasses, you wear glasses, he's rich, never mind.
04:59Alexis, you're like a BMW.
05:01Body made wrong.
05:05Valentina, you think you're Miss Venezuela, but you're more like Miss Quinceanera.
05:12Alexis, Michelle, Pillsbury called.
05:15They want their roles back.
05:19Okay, that's all I got.
05:20Thank you, pheromone.
05:23I can't do that.
05:25Oh, you did.
05:26The library is officially closed.
05:29Now, you're all avid readers, but one of you is the head librarian, Valentina.
05:37Oh, you did it.
05:38You've won a four-night stay for you and a guest at the Saguaro Palm Springs.
05:43Oh, I love Palm Springs.
05:45Now, reading one another do take nerve, but you need titanium balls and tits to read a legendary queen.
05:55So, for this week's Maxi Challenge, we're bringing back the RuPaul Roast.
06:02Hashtag RuPaul Roast.
06:03But this time, our guest of dishonor won't be me.
06:07The person you'll be roasting is Michelle Versailles.
06:15And get this, she has no idea.
06:19Now, Valentina, since you won the reading challenge, you'll decide the order of the presenters.
06:24And a word of warning, ladies, Michelle never forgets.
06:35So, don't fuck it up.
06:39Here we go, y'all.
06:41What are you thinking, Valentina?
06:43Do you know what order you want to go in?
06:44I want to go just somewhere in the middle.
06:45Valentina, I know that, like, first and last are, like, the hardest positions, and I don't mind either one of
06:51them.
06:51Okay.
06:52So, going first is going to be Shay.
06:54All right.
06:55Second is going to be Sasha.
06:56Okay.
06:57Third is going to be the one and only me.
06:59Going fourth, Trinity.
07:00Fifth, Farrah.
07:01Sixth, Peppermint.
07:02Seventh is Nina Bonina Brown.
07:04And closing our show is Alexis.
07:06Time for us to start writing jokes.
07:08Be clever.
07:09That's the goal.
07:10Here's a tip.
07:11Don't make it about my body.
07:14Oh, Lord.
07:15I was surprised you guys came from anything to do with my size.
07:19Um, I just, like, would have preferred not to do with body image.
07:23So, that's all I have to say about that.
07:26People, we can't be sensitive.
07:28It's a comedy challenge.
07:29Girl, get over it.
07:31You knew people were going to raise you.
07:33You made fun of other people.
07:34Calm down.
07:35You're a drag queen, honey.
07:37I'm sorry about my joke.
07:38I don't want you to feel that I think it's okay to make you feel that way.
07:42I feel like right now, Alexis is in her head.
07:45And I'm concerned that she's not going to take it far enough.
07:48And for a roast to be good, you've got to go all the way.
07:54Coming up.
07:55Everybody's nervous.
07:57Oh.
07:58Oh.
08:00Nothing's nervous.
08:02Bye, bitch.
08:10Oh, my God.
08:12We have to do a roast of Michelle Visage.
08:15Oh, my fucking God.
08:16Everybody's nervous.
08:17Aja, you might got lucky getting out of here.
08:19I am frozen, and I'm not even talking about my face.
08:26So, I have my pen in one hand, and I have my hand on a piece of paper.
08:32And I just think.
08:36And nothing.
08:40Virgin de Guadalupe, por favor, ayúdame en este momento, porque no tengo nada.
08:45Girl, Guadalupe ain't going to write these jokes for you.
08:47You've got to do it for your own self, girl.
08:48So, get to work.
08:51Hello.
08:52Hi.
08:53Hi.
08:54I brought Ross to help you with your material.
08:57This is my first time ever in the workroom.
08:59Do you know that?
08:59You're kidding.
08:59Oh, my goodness.
09:01Well, welcome.
09:02It's just like I pictured it.
09:06Alexis Michelle.
09:07Hi, gentlemen.
09:07Hi.
09:08Now, a little birdie told me that you were a little miffed off by the reading challenge.
09:13I just thought some of my sisters could have come up with some more original material.
09:17Oh.
09:19You were more disappointed than miffed.
09:21Now, the truth is, Ru, a body image has been something I've struggled with for a lot of
09:25my life.
09:26And I have talked with my sisters.
09:28And they know what I've struggled with.
09:31That's why it was a little bit hurtful.
09:35So, you feel like it's okay for you to make fun of someone else, but not someone else to
09:39make fun of you.
09:42Um, look, I will try, you know, whenever I come for anybody on that runway, to make sure
09:46that we're all laughing together.
09:48Right.
09:48But that's the thing about comedy.
09:50And a lot of times, especially people who have been through hell and high water with
09:54the issue, the only way to get through it is to friggin' laugh at it.
09:57That's true.
09:58Because, look, you survived.
09:59Yeah.
10:00Have you ever done comedy before?
10:02I have.
10:02Actually, at my weekly show, I spend a lot of time on the mic.
10:05And you're actually going last in the lineup.
10:08How do you feel about that?
10:09I honestly was ready to open her and set the tone or close her out and let them eat cake.
10:14Okay.
10:15All right.
10:16Well, listen, you have experience in this.
10:18A lot of the other girls don't.
10:19And because you do, we're going to need you to bring it extra.
10:22All right.
10:23We'll see you out there.
10:24Make us laugh.
10:24See ya.
10:25Bye.
10:27Hey, Faramone.
10:27Oh, hi.
10:28Now, you did the reading earlier.
10:30How'd that go for you?
10:32Honestly, I really did like doing it.
10:34You know, I did go for a low blow with Alexis Michelle, and it did not feel good.
10:40Now, are you more worried about what other people will think of you?
10:44I just am more worried about staying true to my integrity and not hurting anyone.
10:49You're 12.
10:49What kind of integrity do you have?
10:52I get it.
10:52I would go on Chelsea Lately all the time, and that show was really about tearing down Hollywood.
10:57And my nature is to be nice.
10:58So I'd be the one in the corner going, but I like Jessica Simpson.
11:01You know, trying to...
11:02But it can be done.
11:04Lube her up a little bit.
11:05Yeah.
11:05You know what I mean?
11:06I love you, Michelle, but...
11:08Uh-huh, uh-huh.
11:08I'm the biggest fan of Michelle Visage, but...
11:10Yeah, exactly.
11:12And it's not as mean.
11:13Totally.
11:14Except it's totally mean.
11:15Yeah, right.
11:16Now, you haven't won any challenges.
11:17I know.
11:18Because at this point in the competition, if you haven't won any challenges, you may wind
11:21up in the bottom.
11:22Oh, don't say that, Rue.
11:24You gotta come for it.
11:25Okay.
11:26Okay.
11:26All right, make us laugh.
11:28Yeah.
11:28Bye.
11:29Bye.
11:31Hey, Peppermint.
11:32Yo, Rue.
11:32Hi.
11:33How are you?
11:34Good to see you.
11:35Now, obviously, Michelle is the target of this roast.
11:37Does this scare you?
11:38Does this excite you?
11:39It scares the shit out of me.
11:42Tell me about it.
11:42I've never roasted anyone before.
11:44Are you a funny queen?
11:45I think so.
11:46I mean, I think people laugh.
11:48I think you are, but so far in this competition, you've had some trouble getting out of the gate,
11:53so to speak.
11:54I feel like it's more like crossing the finish line.
11:56Okay.
11:57All right.
11:57Ding, ding, dong.
11:59Are you hungry for a win?
11:59I'm starving, and this is the time.
12:01Well, that's up to you.
12:03All right.
12:04Thanks, Peppermint.
12:07Sasha Velour.
12:08Hi, guys.
12:09Now, you're very smart.
12:10You're intellectual.
12:11How are you going to pull off a gutter roast?
12:14I feel like my worries about not being funny have been getting in my way.
12:18Are you funny in life?
12:20That's the big question.
12:21I make people laugh, but in my shows, my edge is that it's serious and analytical
12:26and has a bit of philosophy and politics.
12:28You've got to use what you've got.
12:29Maybe you can use this sort of intellectual thing to make fun of yourself and then go
12:34after Michelle.
12:35You know what I'm saying?
12:36Yeah.
12:37Now, how's the joke writing coming along?
12:38I'm having some writer's block with this one.
12:41Well, time's running out.
12:42I know.
12:43Have you written any jokes?
12:44I've written the words, mutton dressed as lamb.
12:50Which could apply to a lot of people.
12:52This is going to be very interesting.
12:54Just make sure you make us laugh.
12:57And don't forget, please, make us laugh.
13:00See ya.
13:01See ya.
13:03All right.
13:03Listen up, kitty girls.
13:05Roast them good, ladies.
13:08Let's go, Roche.
13:09Bye.
13:09Bye.
13:10Bye.
13:10Bye.
13:11Bye.
13:11Bye.
13:12Bye.
13:12Bye.
13:15I didn't understand the mutton and lamb joke.
13:17So, mutton is old sheep.
13:19Okay, okay, okay.
13:20And lamb is baby sheep.
13:21But it also, people use it to describe when someone who is old is dressing to appear younger.
13:25Okay.
13:26Mm-mm.
13:28Bye, bitch.
13:31Coming up, we challenged our queens to perform in the second RuPaul roast.
13:36But our guest of honor isn't going to be me.
13:49This week's maxi challenge is the RuPaul roast.
13:52And this time, we'll be roasting Michelle Visage.
13:56Sarah.
13:57Yes.
13:57I'm sorry I insinuated you were a prostitute.
14:00Oh, thank you, baby.
14:02I'm sorry I made fun of your roles.
14:04And I'm sorry for bringing it up now.
14:07I'm sure that your Johns are really lovely people.
14:13Oh, okay, girl.
14:16There's moments, you guys, where, like, there's a joke said.
14:19And then everybody laughs.
14:20And I look around and just start, like, laughing to blend in.
14:23That was my experience when I first lived in Russia.
14:26Human and other languages is so challenging.
14:28How long did you live there?
14:29I lived there for, like, two and a half years altogether.
14:31Oh, my God.
14:32I got stuck in Moscow.
14:34I was presenting female.
14:37And my ID does not match.
14:39And I was in Moscow airport for a connection, I think, in, like, 30 minutes.
14:44Eight months ago.
14:45Oh, my God.
14:46And so we land, and we're supposed to go to the little transfer desk or whatever.
14:49And the woman, she didn't speak any English.
14:53And she just kept looking at my ID and looking at me.
14:56And it was clear that she was disagreeing with the fact that my ID looked male and I looked female.
15:01Well, it's illegal in Russia.
15:03Okay, so that's what it was.
15:04So she detained me.
15:06Oh, my God.
15:07That's really terrifying.
15:08I was terrified to the point where I had to snatch my own wig off my head in the line
15:11with all these people.
15:12Oh, my God.
15:13Just to prove to her that I'm, this is me, and please let me through.
15:16And it was so humiliating.
15:18That's really a tragedy.
15:19There's a lot of gender fear in Russia.
15:22Yeah.
15:22I feel for her.
15:23When I was living in Russia, I had to disguise myself.
15:26I couldn't be Sasha Velour.
15:28I had to think carefully about what clothes I was wearing, how I moved my body.
15:32Queer people in Russia are living in an oppressive system.
15:36I just have to keep in mind that it doesn't take away my womanhood.
15:39Amen.
15:40A woman.
15:42Amen.
16:06Welcome to the main stage of RuPaul's Drag Race.
16:10Michelle Visage.
16:11It's roasting time.
16:12Hope you brought a pig.
16:13I sure did.
16:15From Hollywood Today Live, the hilarious Ross Matthews.
16:20Are you ready to be read for filth?
16:22Good thing I brought my sanny wipes.
16:24Ew.
16:25Writer, actress, comedian, fortune beamster.
16:29I hope you have a thick skin.
16:31Yeah, and I'm extra crispy.
16:35And Drag Race favorite of all time dot com.
16:39Tamar Braxton.
16:40Hey, girl.
16:41Hi, darling.
16:43This week, we challenged our queens to perform in the second ever RuPaul Roast.
16:49But this time, our guest of honor isn't going to be me.
16:53I've challenged our queens to roast Michelle Visage.
16:57What?
16:59Surprise.
17:01Oh, no.
17:03Bitch.
17:04Takes one to know one.
17:07With cool cocktails provided by Mickey's West Hollywood,
17:10let's get this Michelle Roast started.
17:14Gentlemen, start your engines.
17:16And may the best woman win.
17:18Coming up.
17:19It's me, Mother Maybelline.
17:21Nina, Bo, Nina, Banana, Fofana.
17:23Osama Bin Laden's brown great aunt.
17:36Welcome to the second annual RuPaul's Roast.
17:40This year, we are really switching things up.
17:43Instead of RuPaul, we are going to roast a man of true charisma,
17:49uniqueness, nerve, and talent.
17:54Unfortunately, he was unavailable, so it's going to be Michelle Visage.
17:58Michelle, we know you for being a kind, patient Shiro.
18:03And gonorrhea clinics know you as patient zero.
18:08Girl, you have had more dick in you than a urinal at Dodger Stadium.
18:12The only difference is they get cleaned up after a grand slam.
18:17Well, ladies and gentlemen, just remember, if you liked my performance,
18:20my name is Shea Coulee, and if you hated it, it's Nina Benita Brown.
18:28Thank you, Shea Coulee.
18:30That was extremely edifying humor.
18:34Sorry, am I using that word correctly?
18:36Not edifying, I know that one.
18:38It was humor that I wasn't sure worked in this context.
18:42Tonight, we really do have an opportunity
18:44to salute empowering representation in the media.
18:47We have an out and proud lesbian comedian.
18:49Thank you so much, Ross Matthews.
18:53Ross Matthews has the face of a young gay man
18:56and the voice of an adult woman.
18:59So, the opposite of Tamar Braxton.
19:09It's now come time to talk about Michelle Visage herself.
19:13Michelle is so Jersey, her idea of classical music is Lisa Lisa.
19:19Michelle Visage is so Jersey,
19:21she calls her pubic hair the Garden State Expressway.
19:24And let's not even get started on the Holland Tunnel.
19:28Michelle Visage is so...
19:30I have more of these.
19:30Michelle Visage is so Jersey,
19:33she wanted to call her second child White Flight.
19:37Oh, well, that one worked in my mind.
19:39And now, a queen who combines
19:42all the excitement of smiling
19:44with the thrill of just standing there.
19:49Give it up for Valentina.
19:54Mama RuPaul, you are the shadiest queen
19:58because you let Michelle Visage
19:59look so busted on season three
20:02and four
20:05and five and six and seven and eight.
20:08And girl, that's your friend.
20:10That's fucked up.
20:12Michelle is such a cochina
20:13that she knows how to say and spell
20:16harder in six different languages.
20:20Michelle, you are such a tired asshole
20:23that when you got Carpool Tunnel
20:25from giving out free handjob,
20:27she just became left-handed.
20:33Ross, you're just so cute and so sweet.
20:36You just remind me of a cute hamster.
20:38I just want to shove you up my butt.
20:45Thank you, Pedro.
20:47My wee bin.
20:50Please excuse the way I'm dressed.
20:52I have to go feed the chickens after this.
20:55And I didn't want to wear my good things.
20:57I sometimes even have to wrestle a few of them.
21:00Michelle, you know all about wrestling cocks,
21:02don't you?
21:04I think we have a lot in common
21:06from the same taste in hairspray
21:09to the same units of Botox, fillers,
21:11lifts, tucks, snips, and hips.
21:15Michelle, every time I walk the runway,
21:17you have this pungent look on your face,
21:19kind of like you got a shit.
21:21I reckon they have some laxatives for that.
21:26Just a secret, we all poop.
21:36Let's get this roasted cooking.
21:39Can we please put our hands together
21:42for the one, the only,
21:45Michelle Visage, Gizbreth.
21:49They're the real star of this show.
21:51Sorry, RuPaul.
21:54I find it hilarious that Michelle Visage
21:56judges a talent competition.
21:59I don't know about you,
22:00but don't you actually have to have talent to do that?
22:04Oh, and I'm pretty sure having one song
22:07in the 90s that no one even remembers
22:09doesn't qualify you to be a judge
22:11on such a big TV show.
22:13Good thing she's been sucking RuPaul's dick
22:15for so long.
22:18Oh, and we've got Tamar Braxton in the house.
22:22Tamar Braxton, however you say it.
22:24She's Tony Braxton's less talented,
22:27more annoying sister.
22:30Um, anyways, now that Michelle's dick breath
22:34has stunk up this entire stage,
22:36I'd like to introduce our next
22:38minty contestant, Peppermint.
22:40Let's go!
22:43Hey, y'all.
22:46Thank you, Pheromone.
22:50Ross, everyone says that your voice
22:53is annoying and high-pitched,
22:55but I actually love the sound of your voice.
22:58Right now.
23:00Don't talk.
23:01Don't talk.
23:03Michelle Visage.
23:04Michelle, Michelle.
23:05Not since Destiny's Child
23:07has a Michelle become so famous
23:09for riding somebody else's coattails.
23:15RuPaul, all smiles.
23:17Ross, all smiles.
23:19Michelle, poke her face.
23:22No, seriously, someone poked her face.
23:24It doesn't even move.
23:26Michelle says no to everything.
23:29Michelle, you like my dress?
23:31No.
23:31You like my makeup?
23:33No.
23:34Bitch, where the hell were you
23:35when somebody asked you
23:36if you wanted to write that book?
23:39It's a great book, Michelle.
23:41Said no one.
23:44Honestly, I fell in love with you, Michelle,
23:46watching you and RuPaul on VH1,
23:48and I'm so honored to share this moment with you,
23:50so thank you.
23:51Happy 90th birthday, Michelle.
23:57Hey, babies.
23:59It's me, Mother Maybelline.
24:01Nina, bonina, banana, fo' fanna,
24:03Osama bin Laden's brown great aunt.
24:06Coming all the way from the lions, tigers,
24:08and bears, and sheep
24:09of the Lord Missionary Baptist Church.
24:12Praise the Lord.
24:14Moving on to the man of the hour,
24:16RuPaul's secretary, Michelle Bethage.
24:19You know, Michelle,
24:21your face reminds me of my hip.
24:24Stiff.
24:26Oh, Jesus.
24:29What's your name, baby?
24:34You are a whole lot of woman.
24:39Mm-hmm.
24:41Well, we normally save the best for last,
24:43but in this case,
24:44we had to settle for Alexis Michelle.
24:49Oh, Michelle, Michelle, Michelle.
24:51In honor of your big night,
24:53I wore your favorite color, girl.
24:59We have so much in common, Michelle.
25:02We have the theater running in our veins, Michelle.
25:05You also have several venereal diseases
25:07running through yours,
25:08but that's besides the point.
25:12But, you know,
25:13you're also an inspiration to me, Michelle.
25:15As thin as you have become,
25:17one area has stayed the same.
25:19Unchanged.
25:19It's a Hanukkah miracle.
25:20Baruch Hashem.
25:23Oh, my goodness, Fortune.
25:25You also know about playing second fiddle.
25:27You've been playing bull dyke
25:28to Chelsea Handler's alcoholic wasp
25:30for ages now.
25:33Now, Michelle,
25:35I have to congratulate you
25:36on really being able to take the piss.
25:39Just ask the UK men's water polo team.
25:44Okay.
25:46She loves water sports.
25:47She loves the UK.
25:48And we love you, Mama.
25:50Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
25:52It's been real.
25:53Good night, everybody.
25:56This is not a happy ending.
25:58And it don't help that you look like She-Hulk.
26:01Coming up.
26:02The jokes, they seem more like observations.
26:04You just looked like you were going to throw up.
26:06This is a roast.
26:07You go hard or go home.
26:13Welcome, ladies.
26:15I've made some decisions.
26:18Nina Benina Brown Earl Jones.
26:21Valentina.
26:23You ladies are safe.
26:25You may leave the stage.
26:30Now it's time for the judges' critiques.
26:33Let's start with Shea Coulee.
26:34I know a thing or two about being somebody's open neck.
26:38Okay.
26:39And, you know, you just set the tone, you know, to be funny, to be original.
26:43And your jokes were really funny.
26:44I'm probably going to steal them and put them in my next special.
26:48You did a great job.
26:50Next up, Sasha Velour.
26:51When you started the roast, I think you were way too smart for the room.
26:55But the minute you started laying into me, it was friggin' genius.
26:59You have a very specific POV.
27:01You know, what does a roast look like through Sasha's eyes?
27:04I think you gave us that tonight.
27:07Trinity Taylor.
27:08What I liked was that you had a character.
27:11Ma-wee-bean.
27:12But everything else didn't work for me.
27:15You didn't have the jokes.
27:17I think even before you got up there, you just looked like you were going to throw up.
27:21And you still kind of have that look.
27:23It's the Botox, I promise.
27:24Oh, okay.
27:25Okay.
27:25See, that's funny.
27:27And, like, I would have liked to have seen you sort of trust yourself more.
27:30Up next, Farrah Moan.
27:33Farrah, nothing landed, honey.
27:35If you're going to be harsh, it has to land.
27:38And I think everything that came out of your mouth was harsh.
27:41That's not a bad thing.
27:42It's a roast.
27:43But you got to follow it up with a punchline.
27:45People have to laugh.
27:46Yeah, I fucked up.
27:47I wouldn't call it fucked up, but I would call it fucked up.
27:51Okay.
27:52Because we identified the problem in the workroom.
27:54You said being mean is not my nature.
27:56But if you don't like to say that person sucks, you can say,
27:59I love Michelle so much, I was dying to meet her,
28:01and she was exactly like I'd hoped she'd be.
28:03Horrible in every way.
28:05That would have been a POV that none of the other girls had.
28:08All right, up next, peppermint.
28:10So by the time you came up, I was hungry for just a good piece of roast.
28:16And you served it.
28:17I was like Ross, just waiting for somebody to just come out there and bring the energy.
28:22And you just killed it.
28:24And you look beautiful.
28:26It just all works for me tonight.
28:27I would totally take you to prom.
28:31Alexis Michelle.
28:32My question the whole entire time is, what?
28:34Is she green?
28:36Well, Tamar, have you ever watched the show?
28:39But going green like you did, I expected like a Broadway thing,
28:43because you look like Alphala.
28:44And then like this Jersey accent comes out.
28:47She loves water sports.
28:48And I was like, I don't know what to do with these two things.
28:50I literally forgot there was an audience here.
28:52That's how silent they were.
28:53And the jokes, they seemed more like observations.
28:55You were almost too soft.
28:57It was like you were afraid of hurting us.
28:58This is a roast.
28:59You go hard or go home.
29:02Thank you, ladies.
29:03While you untuck backstage, the judges and I will deliberate.
29:08All right, now, just between us squirrel friends, what do you think?
29:12Shea Coulee.
29:13I thought she set a great tone.
29:16She didn't shy away from her jokes.
29:17I was a fan.
29:18But on the runway, is it the most creative look we've ever seen?
29:22Sasha Velour.
29:23I was panicked for her.
29:25Then she got this formula that she just inserted the jokes in, and it worked.
29:29The way she was like analytical at first didn't bother me,
29:32because it worked with her outfit, and she was funny on top of that.
29:35You know, she was really smart about being smart.
29:37Yeah, it was a real breakthrough moment for her.
29:39Trinity Taylor.
29:40The Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.
29:42Yeah.
29:42We're not with Trinity today.
29:45The jokes just weren't strong enough.
29:46Yeah.
29:47It was roadkill.
29:49That's good eating.
29:51But the outfit was on point.
29:52It was super cute.
29:53I'm from North Carolina, so I felt like she fit right in with my white trash people.
30:00Pheromone.
30:01I thought she reminded me of Marilyn Monroe when she did the whole birthday thing for JFK,
30:04and I thought she was going to come up and do her whole character like this,
30:07and it would have been funny.
30:08But what it came across as a really nervous kid who came to tell people off in a harsh way.
30:13You know, it hit me.
30:14She would be perfect at doing Elvira.
30:17She's got the same sort of vocal cadence.
30:20You know, the fact that everybody's like,
30:21oh, you look like this, you look like this,
30:23means probably who she really is isn't coming through.
30:26I think Fortune brought up such a good point.
30:28She doesn't know who she is.
30:30At all.
30:30She knows she's a cute girl and can wear pretty clothes.
30:32Yeah.
30:33But there's nothing more than that yet.
30:34All right, so let's move on to Peppermint.
30:36Tonight, she was really funny.
30:38Not only was she funny, but she looked probably the best we've ever seen her.
30:43She was literally a smiling assassin.
30:46Really, seriously.
30:47From the hair, the makeup, the gown, to the funny jokes,
30:50I really, really enjoyed her.
30:52Like, she was really the highlight of the evening to me.
30:55Alexis Michelle, the green mile.
30:59For her to come out here with her whole body green,
31:01I was just trying to figure out what,
31:03who in the hell left the gate open?
31:04You know what I'm saying?
31:05Like, what are we finna get?
31:07It was a long way to go for a one-word joke.
31:10Michelle's only green, so I painted my body, except for my feet.
31:14It just was misguided, confused.
31:17I actually drew a picture look on my notes of a bomb.
31:20Oh, my goodness.
31:21But we know what Alexis can do because she has delivered
31:24in the snatch camp as Kris Jenner,
31:27but she chose this position to go last.
31:29That's a big swing, and it was a big miss.
31:32Silence!
31:33I've made my decision.
31:36Bring back my girls!
31:42Welcome back, ladies.
31:44I've made some decisions.
31:47Shea Coulee, you're safe.
31:50You may join the other girls.
31:54Sasha Velour, you are smarty, arty,
31:57and tonight you turn the party.
32:00Peppermint, we finally got a taste of the real peppermint,
32:04and we loved it.
32:06Peppermint, condragulations.
32:07You're the winner of this week's challenge.
32:12You've won a five-year membership with Squarespace,
32:16which includes a consultation with their design team
32:20for your own personal website and online shop.
32:25And Sasha Velour, you are safe.
32:27The two of you may join the other girls.
32:31Trinity Taylor, your barnyard humor
32:35did not make us go, hey, go, hey.
32:39Farrah, tonight you made us moan,
32:42but for all the wrong reasons.
32:45Alexis Michelle, tonight you proved
32:47it's not easy being green,
32:49and comedy is even harder.
32:52Trinity Taylor,
32:55you're safe.
32:58You may join the other girls.
33:04Farrah, moan, Alexis Michelle.
33:06I'm sorry, my dears,
33:07but you are up for elimination.
33:09My heart is racing.
33:11Getting to Drag Race has been
33:12an eight-year-long journey,
33:14and feeling like this might be
33:16the end of that journey is devastating.
33:19Two queens stand before me.
33:21Ladies, this is your last chance
33:24to impress me and save yourself
33:27from elimination.
33:29The time has come.
33:32Raise your lip sync
33:33for your life.
33:37I just have to take a deep breath
33:40and focus because this is it.
33:44Good luck and don't fuck it up.
33:54You look at me that way.
33:56I know what your eyes say.
33:58You rise in back love and desire.
34:01I see that you need me.
34:03I need you to freeze me.
34:04You touch me and set me on fire.
34:07But I cannot resist you.
34:09Each time I kiss you,
34:11then everything goes up in place.
34:13Baby, I'm burning out of control.
34:16Baby, I'm burning out of control.
34:20I'm out of control.
34:21Baby, I'm burning out of control.
34:37Baby, I'm burning out of control.
34:38Baby, I'm burning out of control.
34:40Baby, I'm burning out of control.
34:41Baby, I'm burning out of control.
34:43Baby, I'm burning out of control.
34:46Baby, I'm burning out of control.
34:49Baby, I'm burning out of control.
34:50Baby, I'm burning out of control.
34:51Baby, I'm burning out of control.
34:58Ladies, I've made my decision.
35:06Alexis Michelle, Shantae, you stay.
35:11You may join the other girls.
35:18Farrah Moan, you're a beautiful queen with a big future.
35:23Shine on, showgirl.
35:24Now, sashay away.
35:27Thank you guys so much.
35:33I am so proud of myself for never letting go of my dream, but I got a lot more to
35:38learn.
35:39It's been nice LA, but now it's time for me to go cook in Vegas.
35:44Oh.
35:47My queens, congratulations.
35:50And remember, if you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?
35:55Can I get an amen up in here?
35:56Amen.
35:57Now let the music play.
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