- 2 days ago
مسلسل Going Dutch مترجم - Episode 2
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00:01Let's go!
00:02She has no recollection of the last eight years.
00:06I came here to help you.
00:07Kitchen nightmares.
00:08Are you in?
00:09And going Dutch.
00:12First guns I've seen on the base.
00:14All available now.
00:22You're too fat to be here.
00:23So, should we, like, move to a conference room?
00:27I mean, I wouldn't mind more leg room, no offense.
00:30You can't say that, sir.
00:31Here in the army. He's too fat to be here in the army.
00:34Not too, like, fat to live.
00:35No, we talked about body positive language.
00:37No, no, no. You talked about it.
00:38There's a weight requirement in the army.
00:39There's a physical fitness requirement.
00:41But she can't pass.
00:41He's working on it.
00:42He doesn't get a trophy for trying.
00:44What is it with your generation and trophies?
00:46Don't go off on this rant again.
00:47Not going off on a rant. Stop trying to body shame him.
00:50I want him to be ashamed of that body in that ACU.
00:53Sorry, sir. I don't do shame.
00:55I left society's mind prison years ago.
00:57Let me tell you something, mister.
00:58Everything about you is against army regulation.
01:01Your mustache, your hair, your attitude.
01:04Is that even army issued?
01:05Jacket and pants are actually from a XXXL G.I. Joe costume.
01:08But you don't like me wearing this uniform?
01:10That's fine by me.
01:11It's Cotton Blender's ass. I'm pitted out by 10 a.m.
01:14Oh, okay.
01:14What the Colonel is too angry to say is that wearing a uniform is non-negotiable.
01:18It's what makes you a soldier.
01:19Correct.
01:19Jacket is head of IT.
01:21Am I really a soldier, though?
01:22Yes.
01:23You made a commitment to serve your country.
01:24You're a soldier.
01:25Am I really?
01:26I mean, come on.
01:27You're suspended from active duty.
01:28If this is the future of combat, you know what?
01:30General Davidson's here, sir.
01:32What?
01:32No, no.
01:33You can't see him.
01:34I'll never hear the end of it.
01:35We got to put him in the supply closet.
01:36Let's go.
01:37Get up.
01:37Get up.
01:38What?
01:38Yeah.
01:39Wait a second.
01:40Why can't I just go in the closet voluntarily?
01:41You're not going to fit.
01:42It's going to be a smoosh job.
01:43Let's go.
01:43Come on, come on.
01:44Take that.
01:45I'm going in the closet.
01:47Get low.
01:47All right.
01:48Take a breath.
01:49Take a breath.
01:49Breathe in.
01:49Come on.
01:50Watch your butt.
01:51There we go.
01:51Are you just going to stand there?
01:53Come on.
01:54Help.
01:54Purple Papadakis, move your ass.
01:56Move your ass.
01:57Here we go.
01:58Here we go.
01:58Here we go.
01:58Here we go.
02:06Here we go.
02:26I wanted to see with my own eyes just how far you've fallen.
02:30Yikes.
02:31You've gone from warmonger to cheesemonger.
02:34Thank you, sir.
02:35Always nice of you to drop by.
02:36Actually, I need your help with my upcoming NATO tank maneuvers.
02:40Oh, really?
02:41Mm-hmm.
02:41What unit would I be commanding?
02:43Traffic.
02:44Service patients exist to assist.
02:45You didn't think I was going to actually let you participate.
02:47Let me be clear.
02:48Your career is over.
02:50You will never command a tank again.
02:52You have been sent out to pasture.
02:55At least this one has tulips.
02:59He's all yours.
03:02How'd it go?
03:02Great.
03:03Gonna be crossing guards for tank maneuvers.
03:06Traffic.
03:06That's huge.
03:08Yep.
03:08Huge insult.
03:10Mmm.
03:10Why are you smiling?
03:11Because.
03:12We're gonna steal a tank.
03:15Oh, God.
03:19Did you forget about me?
03:20Yep.
03:21Let's run through the plan one more time, Major.
03:24General Davidson's running tank maneuvers in rural Germany.
03:27It's exclusively using older tanks so the army can see which ones need to be replaced.
03:31Our mission?
03:32Steal a decommissioned Abrams tank.
03:34First, I use the magic that is me to borrow an H-E-T.
03:37The only tow truck large enough to haul a tank.
03:40Then I will drop a signal blocker.
03:42That way, when the first tank breaks down, I'm the only one to respond.
03:46Looking like a badass.
03:47Copy that.
03:48Yep.
03:48On our way.
03:48Then, we haul the tank onto our H-E-T.
03:52This is the most difficult part of the mission, which is why I'll be taking it on myself.
03:56And I get to mail a decommissioned report to cover our tracks.
04:02Hooray.
04:03This plan shows that you don't know the Stroopstorf soldiers at all.
04:07We're not being utilized correctly.
04:09Some of us have too much to do, and others not nearly enough.
04:12If you're referring to your reduced role, that is because I suspected you lack enthusiasm.
04:16Permission to speak freely, sir.
04:18What have you been doing up to now?
04:19The mission is stupid.
04:20If you get caught, your career is over.
04:22So, all the more reason to put us in the right spots, starting with me.
04:26In the leadership position.
04:27You can't complain that the mission is stupid and then bitch about the size of your role in it.
04:31That's like saying the meal sucks, but the portions are too small.
04:33Major Shaw, you can't think this is a good idea.
04:36The army's gonna throw the tank away. We need it more.
04:38We're not a combat base without a tank.
04:40We're not a combat base.
04:41Not without a tank, we're not. I'm glad we agree on that.
04:43I think we're saying the same thing.
04:45This will be a disaster.
04:46You can't give BA this much responsibility.
04:49BA's gonna be fine.
04:51You forgot to breathe during our fantasy football draft and you passed out.
04:54He folds under the slightest pressure.
04:56No, I don't.
04:57Yes, you do.
04:58You're right, I do.
04:59Not to mention, the biggest flaw in your plan here is you.
05:03You've never been behind the wheel of an 18-wheeler in your life.
05:06How would you know? I was never around, remember?
05:08Good one, sir.
05:09All right, listen.
05:10Everybody has a lot to do.
05:11Go do it.
05:12Dismissed.
05:14Listen, Sergeant.
05:15You gotta get me a driving instructor.
05:17I've never driven an 18-wheeler in my life.
05:19Gotcha, Colonel.
05:20Okay.
05:22Nothing I ever do is good enough for him.
05:25Look, I'm sorry you feel left out of the mission.
05:28But honestly, you're better off.
05:29It's already a pain in my ass.
05:30Do you need help getting that EGT?
05:32Oh, please.
05:32That took two phone calls.
05:33I met this Dutch weirdo named Boz smoking hookah at an art gallery showing.
05:37Turns out his company makes the EGT.
05:40The only problem is, is that in exchange, he wants an immersive experience of American excess.
05:45His words.
05:45Oh, that's perfect.
05:47Running a black market deal will prove to my dad that he needs me on the mission.
05:50I'm surprised you want in.
05:52I'd call you a goody two-shoes, but that would imply that those shoes look good.
05:55They're a sign.
05:56Yeah, a sign to hurt my eyes.
05:58Who'd Conway get to teach me?
06:00Local businesswoman.
06:01She said they were the only person in Stroopstorf with a big rig license.
06:03Okay.
06:04Cool.
06:05Oh, hey!
06:06How you doing?
06:07That's the, um, Hannah from Navarro.
06:10Is that a problem?
06:10We had this kind of, um, thing moment at the Tula Festival.
06:15I'm not gonna do anything.
06:16I'm just concerned for her because she was so clearly into me and I'm not gonna do anything.
06:22Good.
06:23Colonel Queen.
06:24Hey!
06:24Without the fancy uniform, you're less striking than I remember.
06:29And you're more blunt than I remember.
06:31Not blunt, just Dutch.
06:33We believe politeness is deceit.
06:35Check on the H.E.T. for me.
06:36You're my eyes on this, alright?
06:37Make sure these other idiots step up to my standard of excellence.
06:41I'm going in.
06:51What level of excellence was that?
06:53Ah, this truck sucks.
06:55We need another one.
06:59When I was studying for my PhD, I took a job as a long hauler.
07:03I'd listen to the required reading on audiobook.
07:07Get paid to study.
07:10Now, you try again and try not to embarrass yourself.
07:15Eighteen gears is too many gears.
07:18I think you are bringing your troubles into the truck.
07:21I'm working with my daughter.
07:23Everything's a battle with her and not the fun kind.
07:26You thought you would learn how to drive this truck to prove something to her?
07:30I'm not trying to prove anything to her.
07:31I'm trying to prove to my enemies that I'm still in my prime.
07:36Late prime.
07:37TLN prime.
07:38I don't mind acknowledging the passage of time.
07:41At my age, I no longer have the energy to do everything,
07:44so I preserve my energy for what I'm good at.
07:49You can go ahead and slip it in.
07:52What?
07:52Into Turkey.
07:53Oh, yeah.
08:04Hey, Major.
08:05What's up?
08:06What are you doing here?
08:07Uninvited.
08:09Underdressed.
08:10Okay, so I got a question for you.
08:12Why are you throwing an eighth grade graduation party at Mar-a-Lago?
08:15Buzz wanted to celebrate American excess.
08:18Yes, so I got beer pong and a room temperature 12-layer dip and a Hulk Hogan impersonator.
08:25Not too good.
08:26Okay, it's the Netherlands.
08:28If I was in Tampa, I could throw a rock and hit a Hulk Hogan.
08:31Okay.
08:32And how does Jan fit into this?
08:34Oh, Buzz likes improv comedy.
08:36Would you like a cocktail?
08:37Yes, please.
08:39Oh, no, you dropped it.
08:41Oh, no.
08:41Oh, my God, what's wrong with you?
08:42It's okay.
08:43I have a broom.
08:44Okay, so we show Buzz a great time.
08:46He agrees to loan us the tow truck and then we steal ourselves a tank.
08:49Easy peasy.
08:50Nice work, Captain.
08:50All right.
08:51I got it from here.
08:52Whoa, no.
08:54This is my thing.
08:56I'm running it.
08:58But thank you.
08:58No.
08:59I'm your superior officer who's been ordered by his superior officer to make sure that things
09:03run smoothly.
09:04So I'm going to be running this.
09:05How am I ever supposed to earn the Colonel's respect if I'm never given the chance?
09:10Look, I've negotiated with warlords.
09:12I think I can handle a Dutch party boy.
09:13Okay.
09:14We're here.
09:15Let's go.
09:15Red, light, blue.
09:17No?
09:17Okay.
09:18Hi.
09:19Cheeseburger.
09:20Free the fry.
09:23Buzz.
09:24Maggie put this all together for you.
09:26Hey.
09:26Pleasure to finally meet you.
09:28And I hope that you're ready to be wined and dined.
09:30And 79.
09:31Yes.
09:33Or 69.
09:36Maybe if it was the 1920s, things have advanced a little further here on the continent.
09:43Oh, okay.
09:43Yeah, I didn't know that they invented a new sex thing out here.
09:45I wasn't, uh, given the update.
09:48Boss baby.
09:49Can I call you Boss Baby?
09:50Not like the movie Boss Baby.
09:52Which is a solid movie.
09:53A hilarious Halloween costume if you have a newborn.
10:05I'll get out there.
10:06I'll see y'all.
10:06I'll see you guys out there.
10:08What do we got?
10:08He said you have to go.
10:09To stay?
10:10Go.
10:11You gotta go.
10:12Okay.
10:13Yeah.
10:16You have picked it up quickly.
10:18I had a great teacher.
10:19You find your whole bluntness thing very intriguing.
10:22Yeah.
10:22I'm intrigued by you as well.
10:24Most of the soldiers instrued stuff for flap trolls.
10:27It best translates as useless turds.
10:30But you are clearly not a flap troll.
10:33So what am I?
10:36A emotionally closed off father with no connection to his adult daughter.
10:40You see a lot of bad fathers in my work.
10:43Oh, yeah.
10:44Sex work.
10:45Higher education.
10:47But yeah, the sex work too.
10:50You can drop me off up here.
10:52Okay.
10:53If you desire better communication with your daughter, a compliment can go a long way.
10:59Well, listen, I'd love to learn something else from you sometime.
11:05What's your PhD in?
11:07Intersectional Feminism and Late-Stage Capitalism.
11:10Oh.
11:11Fun.
11:16Oh.
11:17Beautiful night.
11:19Wow, the stars really just...
11:20You came out here to make sure I didn't go back inside, didn't you?
11:23Yeah.
11:24Sorry, Buzz.
11:25I really hate you.
11:28Is Papadakis having a seizure?
11:29He's doing the worm.
11:31His version of it.
11:33I'm sorry I didn't fit into your party.
11:35To be fair, I spend most of my time as an angry boomer sounding board.
11:38What is it like being the only person in the world who receives my father's attention and affection?
11:44It's not that great.
11:45Don't lie to me.
11:46It's the best.
11:47His love is like a scarce resource, so it's more valuable than everyone else's.
11:50That's what I thought.
11:52That used to be enough.
11:54To serve him while I served in the army.
12:00Lately, I've been thinking I need to start trying to serve myself sometimes.
12:07Yeah.
12:08Hey.
12:08Hey.
12:09Um, Buzz wanted us to throw him a party in order to feel comfortable enough to lend us the HET.
12:16Right.
12:16So I made it happen.
12:18Great job.
12:19Is that a compliment?
12:20Compliments can go a long way.
12:22Mm-hmm.
12:22And this, obviously, very successful.
12:25I think parties is something I can be so positive with you, you know, about.
12:32Okay.
12:33Well, I'm sure this means that I will have more responsibility in the mission moving forward.
12:39Ooh, let's not get ahead of ourselves.
12:41That's a whole different thing.
12:42I just secured us the HET.
12:44By throwing a party, which I just complimented you on.
12:47But it doesn't mean you're talented enough for a tactical mission.
12:50Talented enough.
12:50I'm not talented enough.
12:51I am an officer who deserves your respect.
12:55I don't know why, after a compliment, you're still arguing with me.
12:58You're not doing anything the prostitute said you were gonna do.
13:03What am I supposed to do with that?
13:04I don't know.
13:05Throw a party.
13:07We gotta go.
13:08We have a tank to steal.
13:21This HET's got a different gear shift than the one I trained on.
13:23Oh, well, this model is a few years older than the one you asked for.
13:27But we got a way better deal for it.
13:28And there's this.
13:29Boss threw this in.
13:31It's gonna look great hanging in the D-Fact as it doubles in value.
13:34Abstract impressionism is back, baby.
13:37So.
13:38At least I can count on B.A. to do what I told him, right?
13:48B.A.
13:49What are you doing here?
13:54Medic!
13:56Try the B.A.
13:58B.A.
13:59Colonel, I think we should abort.
14:00Disabled tank requesting pickup.
14:02Aha.
14:02See?
14:03Nothing to worry about.
14:04Mm-hmm.
14:06That's not an Abrams.
14:07Good eye.
14:08It's a German leopard.
14:09It's a German tank.
14:11Yeah.
14:11I mean, now I'm remembering Davidson said it was NATO maneuvers, but I just assumed it was
14:15gonna be an American Abrams, but no biggie.
14:18Yeah, no biggie.
14:19No one in our entire army knows how to work this thing.
14:22It's basically a 60-ton paperweight.
14:24It's basically a 60-ton paperweight.
14:24I need to find...
14:25Second reverses.
14:26Hang on a second.
14:27Okay.
14:28Ah, there we go.
14:28Are you serious right now?
14:29You're putting your cheaters on?
14:31What's wrong?
14:32Everything is wrong.
14:34You're stealing a tank you can't use in a truck that you can't drive on a mission you didn't
14:37need to take.
14:38Why are we even here?
14:39We're here to prove to Davidson and everybody else that I am still in my prime.
14:43You're in your prime.
14:44My late prime.
14:45I'm Jordan on the Wizards.
14:46That's who I am.
14:47Jordan on the Wizards was terrible.
14:48He bullied all the younger players and was shooting 18-foot fadeaways.
14:58What just happened?
14:59Somebody stole the tank that we were gonna steal.
15:05I know B.A. and the tank are out there somewhere.
15:07This is ridiculous.
15:08We lost a soldier and a 60-ton tank doesn't just disappear.
15:13The tank is here now, behind you.
15:17Oh.
15:18How'd your mission go?
15:19Mine went, uh, pretty well.
15:23After I left the party where my father called me untalented, I discovered that these maneuvers
15:28utilized mostly NATO tanks.
15:31And then I played Instagram detective on NATO tank operators, DMed one that had a Dutch girlfriend,
15:37and offered to transfer to Stroop's Dorf.
15:39And then I rode all the way here.
15:41Hatched down, wind in my hair, flies in my mouth.
15:45Hmm.
15:46Why?
15:46To prove to you that I am talented enough to be in your army.
15:51Talented enough to steal this from right under your nose.
15:55Yeah, but why?
15:56Why did you bring it here?
15:57I was gonna tow it to a barn outside of town.
15:59Don't you think it's a tad conspicuous that we have a tank the day after tank maneuvers?
16:03Yes, but I was so focused on completing the mission that I didn't consider the consequences.
16:12Which is just like every other U.S. Army mission since 2001.
16:14Sir, General Davidson is here.
16:16Why do you think he's here?
16:19Because of the...
16:20Can't hear you.
16:21Because of the tank that's here.
16:23We found this shaved gerbil at HQ.
16:25Under questioning he admitted helping the colonel get his tank.
16:28So you stole the tank from our maneuvers and now I can finally drum you out for good.
16:37I'm the one who did it.
16:40I'm the one who should be punished, sir.
16:41Hold up, Captain.
16:42I think punishment might be too strong a word for spending base resources on the painting.
16:48The painting?
16:50To a painting?
16:51The one that Private B.A. was referencing entitled Tank.
16:55The captain had it commissioned to commemorate our participation in your operation.
16:59Why is it called Tank? I don't even see a tank.
17:02You'd have to ask the artist.
17:03Local guy. Very talented.
17:05If he's local, then I should be able to ask him.
17:07Sure.
17:10So my work is politically neutral, but emotionally, it's revolutionary.
17:16I try not to challenge the mind.
17:18Rather, whisper in your ear.
17:20Tickling down your neck.
17:22With hot breath of modern world.
17:24Jan is really good at improv.
17:26I think I see today.
17:28Yeah, Major Shah definitely bought us some time, but General Colombo's gonna keep asking questions.
17:33Don't worry, though.
17:34I have a plan.
17:36No, no, I'm done thinking.
17:38I'm...
17:39I might have it.
17:40Captain?
17:43If you want to convince the Colonel that you have the best idea, you gotta make him think it says.
17:48Right.
17:51And thank you for saving me back there.
17:54Whatever happened to serving yourself?
17:57I'm really bad at it.
18:00I can't wait to see your face when you find it.
18:02Colonel, I was actually gonna suggest one of your plans.
18:05Yeah.
18:05Remember when we lived in Florida?
18:06Mm-hmm.
18:07We had that cat named Joey.
18:08Yeah.
18:08The soup didn't allow pets.
18:09Right.
18:10So whenever he came into the apartment, you would take Joey...
18:11Oh, I would hide him in the cabinet behind the cereal boxes.
18:15Oh, my God.
18:17I just forgot I was a genius.
18:25Mr. Yan, we're ready to play the audio and visual components you pair with the painting.
18:32You can see it now, yeah?
18:34No!
18:43General, we've shown you everything.
18:45It's pretty clear there's no tank on the base.
18:49It's in the fromagerie.
18:52There's no vat, right?
18:53Just a big, empty space to park it.
18:56Oh, I got you.
18:59I got you!
19:05Would you like a tour, General?
19:07No!
19:08I know you stole one of my tanks.
19:10Sir, I've gone through the database.
19:12All of the tanks are accounted for.
19:14My grandfather at a certain point just started walking around the house looking for the hat that he already had
19:18on his head.
19:19We all get put out the pasture eventually.
19:21But this pasture has tulips.
19:25And these tulips are saying...
19:28Goodbye.
19:29Get me the hell out of here.
19:31Oh!
19:37Let's go!
19:38Yes!
19:39How did we get around the database?
19:41Oh, I realized a while back we were gonna need to cover our digital tracks.
19:44So, I contacted the best hacker I know.
19:48Woo!
19:49I'm getting really good at hiding in dark and closed spaces.
19:53You hacked the database?
19:54I hacked the entire bomb holder system.
19:57Then, I erased this tank from existence.
20:01Gotta say, this is pretty good work in a tight spot.
20:03Just don't go behind my back again.
20:05There'll be hell to pay.
20:06But you have earned my...
20:10admiration.
20:11I appreciate your respect.
20:15I didn't say respect.
20:16I said admiration.
20:18You just said respect.
20:19Well, admiration and respect are two different things.
20:21Are they two different things?
20:21Yeah, they're like two different levels.
20:23It's like admiration and then respect.
20:25But then this whole thing is a thesaurus and they're in the same page.
20:28No, no, no.
20:29They're synonyms.
20:36Is, uh, Katja around?
20:38She's busy at the moment, but I'd be more than happy to help.
20:42I'm not actually allowed to step foot into a problem.
20:44This is a charity office offering social and immigration services to sex workers.
20:51Colonel Quinn.
20:53Hey.
20:55Call me Patrick.
20:56I hope I didn't insult her by assuming she was a prostitute.
21:00She is.
21:01The insult is assuming that would be insulting.
21:04Let me just start over.
21:05I was looking for some excitement out there and I actually got it instead from just talking to you.
21:11So I was wondering if you wanted to, you know, get a cup of coffee or...
21:16You're a strange one, Patrick.
21:18A man of war asking me out on a date like a nervous schoolboy.
21:23I like you.
21:24I basically hate everybody.
21:27Hold on.
21:27I'll get my coat.
21:29Great.
21:35Keep up the good fight, girls.
21:38What do you think we're fighting?
21:41Oh, yeah, it's...
21:42It's going so well!
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