- 3 days ago
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00I don't know what you're saying.
00:35Oh, here we go.
00:41Do it properly.
00:45Cheers.
00:47Bill.
00:49Mick Arknall.
00:55Oh, man.
00:56Hey, this is fun.
00:57It's been a good night so far.
00:59Yeah, it's been really good, yeah.
01:01Yeah, I'll be honest, when Julie suggested we get together, I was like, no.
01:04You know, I get set up a lot by friends and it never works out.
01:08Oh, tell me about it. Me too.
01:10You know, I hate dates, usually.
01:12They should call dates, spend some time with a big fat loser.
01:18But this has been brilliant.
01:19Hey, um, I was thinking afterwards, maybe you'd like to come back to my place.
01:25We could listen to the new Jamie Cullum album.
01:27Maybe, yeah.
01:28Yeah, yeah, that'd be really nice, actually.
01:30Great.
01:33Let me guess.
01:34Um, you're a red wine person.
01:38Yes, yes, I am.
01:39Oh, I would be too if we could get some service round here.
01:43Yeah, you, Hucknall.
01:45Oh, when you're simply ready.
01:49Oh, I should say, um, I don't really like sharing.
01:54So, you get what you want, I'll get what I want, we'll leave it at that.
01:58I just think it's a lot less confusing.
02:00Sure, sure.
02:01Did you say Jamie Cullum?
02:02Yeah.
02:03Yeah, I hate Jamie Cullum.
02:06Oh, and, uh, just to say, I don't really like sharing.
02:10With the rising inflection and everything.
02:12In a tapas restaurant, he doesn't like sharing.
02:16What the heck is tapas?
02:18You know tapas?
02:19Tiny food from Spain.
02:21Oh, yes.
02:21Ta-pas.
02:23Yeah, that's not how you say it.
02:24Yes, it is.
02:26You're a tape-ass.
02:29What else?
02:30What else?
02:30What else?
02:31Oh, God, you should have seen him with the waiters.
02:33Rude.
02:34Unbelievable.
02:35Oh, yeah, I used to work as a waiter.
02:37If anyone was ever rude to me, I used to carry their food around in my trousers.
02:41Oh, my God, before you brought it to their table?
02:45No, after.
02:47Of course, before.
02:49Why would I do it after?
02:50Oh, do you think I did that to him?
02:52OK, well, while he was eating, did you hear anyone laughing?
02:56Like, in the kitchen area?
02:59Yes.
03:00Yes, I did, actually.
03:01Yes, I did.
03:02That'll be trouser food.
03:03Oh, God.
03:04Yeah.
03:04Probably a good thing you weren't sharing.
03:06Oh, God.
03:07I could have saved you the trouble.
03:09That guy's famous.
03:10He's a mout.
03:11They call him the news, because he's always talking about who he slept with.
03:14Oh, well, I would honestly rather sleep with a rat.
03:19Literally.
03:20You know, the thing I cannot understand yet, this, this is a man Julie on 5th thinks is
03:25perfect for me.
03:26I mean, what was she thinking?
03:28Wait a second.
03:28Who do you know on 5th?
03:29Why?
03:30What was the name?
03:31Was it Judy or Julie?
03:32Why do you need to know?
03:33No reason.
03:34Lots of nice-looking girls on 5th.
03:36Looking for an in, aren't we?
03:38An in?
03:38No.
03:40No.
03:40Don't use my name to start lechhing around on 5th.
03:44For your information, I do not lech.
03:46I have a little more class than that.
03:48Thank you very much.
03:49Post.
03:51Oh, no, this is wrong.
03:52A lingerie catalogue for a Cathy Morgan foreman.
03:55Um, I'll, uh, make sure that Cathy gets it.
03:57I don't know if Cathy Morgan foreman.
03:59Who's Cathy Morgan foreman?
04:00Uh, Cathy works in, uh, Cathy, Cathy works in the Department of, uh, uh, Shalupist.
04:05Department of what?
04:06Oh, excuse me, that's my phone ringing.
04:08I don't hear anything.
04:09It's on vibrate.
04:10Hello?
04:11Hello, Cathy.
04:13Yes, your parcel did arrive.
04:14I'm keeping it here safe for you.
04:16No problem at all, Cathy Morgan foreman.
04:19If he comes by...
04:20Right, if who comes by?
04:23The news.
04:24Yes, right.
04:25If he calls, just tell him something.
04:28Leave it with me.
04:29Great.
04:30Although I should just say, I'm not very good at lying.
04:32I'm very good at lying.
04:33I thought you were on the phone.
04:36Yeah, I am.
04:37Yes, I'm fine.
04:42You?
04:44Listen, Moss, you're not going to court, yeah?
04:47Just tell him something.
04:49Yeah, it's just I've never been very good at judging the scale of the lie.
04:53Yeah, stop overthinking everything, eh?
04:55I've never been able to do it.
04:56When I was a child, I told a whopper, and it really...
04:58Just tell him I'm busy!
05:02You're busy.
05:04That's brilliant.
05:07Just don't let him in here under any circumstances.
05:10No.
05:11You're busy.
05:14Hey, er, what was the name of that girl that Jen knows?
05:17Was it Julie or Judy?
05:20Yes, one of those.
05:27OK, I'm just going to go for a lech on fifth.
05:31Look, I told you, she's busy.
05:34Hey, back off, Buster.
05:35This lady's busy.
05:37Too busy for you.
05:39Busy.
05:40Brilliant.
05:59Hello?
06:00Hello.
06:02I'm just looking for Jen.
06:15I'm afraid Jen can't see you at the moment.
06:18She's very busy.
06:19Is she?
06:20She's a busy Miss Lizzie.
06:22Goodbye.
06:24Er, what's she doing?
06:27She's doing fine.
06:30Not how's she doing.
06:31What's she doing?
06:32Er, er, er...
06:34Is she in here?
06:35No.
06:35I won't keep her a second.
06:36I'm just going to give her these.
06:37Don't give her them.
06:38I just want to give her these.
06:38She won't take a second.
06:39She won't mind.
06:40She will mind.
06:41It's not a problem.
06:41I won't take any time.
06:42Look, why can't I go in?
06:44Because she's dead.
06:51What?
06:51Yeah, she's dead.
06:53She...
06:53She...
06:54She died.
06:56She died last night.
06:59She died?
07:00Yeah.
07:01Completely.
07:04Oh, God.
07:07Look.
07:08I just can't believe it.
07:09Well, I'd hardly make up something like that, would I?
07:13No.
07:14No, of course.
07:14Of course not.
07:16Oh, God.
07:18Well, she was a bit off at the restaurant.
07:23I mean...
07:24Was it the food?
07:25The tapas?
07:26Do they know?
07:27Tapas.
07:27I don't know.
07:29Yes, it was.
07:30Why not?
07:31Yeah.
07:33Oh, Jesus.
07:35I know, it's terrible, but thank God we weren't sharing.
07:41I just can't get over it.
07:43Yeah, well, we all have to go sometime.
07:50It's terrible.
07:51It's just terrible.
07:52It's bloody awful.
07:54It's bloody awful.
07:55She was so beautiful.
07:57She was some piece of ass.
08:05Anywho, can't mourn all the ruddy day, so...
08:13You know, I was the last person to sleep with her.
08:20Really?
08:21She said that...
08:22What?
08:24She said she was looking forward to sleeping with you.
08:49I can't believe he lied like that.
08:52Doesn't he realise that lying can lead to very serious ramifications?
09:01Hello?
09:06Hello?
09:07Hello?
09:12I'm Roy.
09:14I.T.
09:16My boss has assigned me to take on any work that you might want done personally.
09:22Personally.
09:23Personally.
09:24Basically, I want to...
09:28...take my card.
09:32And, um...
09:34If you need anything done...
09:36...to your computer.
09:37Just, uh...
09:38Give me your boss.
09:40I'm on the phone.
09:40It's my mobile phone, so...
09:42You won't have to go through all that call waiting.
09:45Lover.
09:46OK.
09:47Thank you, Roy.
09:48You're welcome, Judy.
09:50Oh, I'm not Judy.
09:51I'm Julie.
09:52Judy!
09:56Someone to see you.
09:59This man says you should take his card.
10:03You're going for my tea.
10:05That's terrible.
10:06I know.
10:06Terrible.
10:07Terrible thing.
10:08You know, um...
10:09I was actually the last person to sleep with her.
10:13Very sudden.
10:14Yes.
10:14I hear it was some bad tappers.
10:16Tape-ass.
10:17Yes.
10:18You must be stunned.
10:20I'm flabbergasted.
10:21Well, you know where we are if you need us.
10:23Sure.
10:24I'll be fine, thanks.
10:25Just sort of stay away from this whole area
10:27while we come to terms with the loss.
10:31Leave me now.
10:32I would be alone.
10:46Oh, God!
10:49Oh, my...
10:51Oh!
10:52Good latch?
10:54No!
10:56Um...
10:57The girl?
10:58Oh, my God.
10:58The girl, Judy?
10:59She's, um...
11:01Have you seen this girl?
11:03What's she like?
11:04Well, she has hair on her eyes.
11:06Who has hair on her eyes?
11:07Not you.
11:08No.
11:09I'm going for a coffee.
11:10Anyone want anything?
11:11No?
11:12OK, bye.
11:19LAUGHTER
11:23Ah!
11:30BUZZER
11:31BUZZER
11:31BUZZER
11:32BUZZER
11:33BUZZER
11:33BUZZER
11:35Hello?
11:37Hello?
11:38Er...
11:39Hello, Judy.
11:40Judy, what can I do for you?
11:43Computer's broken!
11:44Is it a PC or a Mac?
11:47Yes!
11:50Well, what's wrong with it?
11:51Broken down!
11:53Yeah, broken down how, Judy?
11:55Big ball noise!
11:56Big ball noise? What the precise nature of the problem?
12:03Email!
12:04Yeah, Judy, the battery on my phone is...
12:11Look at this.
12:12What?
12:13How nice is this?
12:16I just got a big load of flowers and a big card
12:20and everyone has signed it.
12:24It will always be in our hearts.
12:27My God, and you said they were nice here.
12:30Yeah.
12:32I don't understand why they've done this.
12:35Why?
12:35I'll tell you for why.
12:38It's because everyone thinks you're brilliant.
12:41Really?
12:42Yeah.
12:43And in fact, everyone thinks you're so brilliant
12:45they've just made you Employee of the Month.
12:47No.
12:48Yes.
12:49No.
12:49Yes.
12:50No!
12:50Yeah, huh?
12:51I don't believe it.
12:53Please believe it.
12:54Oh, my God.
12:56I didn't even know they had Employee of the Month here.
13:00No, they brought it in just for you.
13:03Wow.
13:04I'm going to go up and thank everybody right now.
13:06No!
13:07Don't do that.
13:08What?
13:09Why not?
13:10They'll be embarrassed.
13:12It's embarrassing being thanked.
13:15Don't be silly.
13:22Events seem to be taking a downward turn.
13:29I told you, stop calling me at work.
13:43Oh, it's a beautiful gen.
13:45Hello, it's Paul Paul.
13:46Yeah.
13:47Didn't I hear you?
13:48I thought you were sick or something.
13:49Sick?
13:50Sick of me?
13:51No.
13:51It couldn't be better.
13:52I'm just one Employee of the Month.
13:54So, uh, you're going my way.
14:01Don't you dare go too fast.
14:02No!
14:03No!
14:03No!
14:04No!
14:04No!
14:05No!
14:06No!
14:06No!
14:08No!
14:10No!
14:10No!
14:10No!
14:10No!
14:11Just hard to get your head round, you know?
14:14One minute she's there and the next minute, phew, she's gone.
14:19You know, um, I was the last person that slept with her, actually.
14:25She held on so tightly, you know, it was like, scary.
14:30But sexy scary, you know, it's just like, yeah.
14:34Ah!
14:38Ah!
14:41Ah!
14:43Ah!
14:43Ah!
14:43Ah!
14:43Ah!
14:43Ah!
14:44Ah!
14:47Ah!
14:49Oh, for God's sake, go home!
14:51He was the last person to sleep with her.
14:53I know.
14:54Apparently, she was pretty hot stuff.
14:58Bye, Smilp-oom!
15:00Bye, Jen!
15:01See ya!
15:03Ooh!
15:04Oh, dear old Lord.
15:07Ooh!
15:11At this dreadful hour, we're all reminded how brief our time is here on Earth.
15:16Sorry, who was it who died?
15:18Sorry, who was it who died?
15:18I don't know.
15:20I believe Mr. Brenham has a few words.
15:27There's one more angel in heaven.
15:30Aw!
15:32God, I miss Jen.
15:33Jen, she reminded me of me at her age.
15:39I mean, when I was her age, she reminded me of her age.
15:46She reminded me of my age at her age.
15:51When I was her age, she was reminded of me.
15:58I grew to like Jen.
16:01And that enlightening of her became a friendship.
16:05A friendship which ended so suddenly, just 12 hours ago.
16:10After what I gather was a rather sensational evening with Bill Krause.
16:14Bill!
16:15You dog!
16:16Ooh!
16:17Where is he?
16:19Still cleaning himself off.
16:21She was special.
16:24It's all special, in fact, that when I called my close personal friend, Elton John, and
16:30told him about her, he dropped everything and offered to come here and perform for us.
16:36You heard me.
16:37He's in the building.
16:38Elton John is going to sing a beautiful song about death.
16:55Oh, my God, this is so, so lovely.
17:00Thank you so, so much.
17:04Oh, God.
17:06Oh, God.
17:07Oh, God.
17:08Oh, God.
17:10Oh, God.
17:14Can I say a few words?
17:17Oh, my God.
17:20Um, thank you so, so much.
17:24Um, I would, I would not be standing up here today if it wasn't for so many people.
17:30Not least, um, to, uh, without him.
17:34Hey, she isn't dead.
17:35Yeah.
17:36Booze!
17:38You lying cow!
17:42We won Elton!
17:44We won Elton!
17:46We won Elton!
17:47We won Elton!
18:12What do you say about me?
18:14Hello there, Jen.
18:16I would love to stay and chat, but I've just received a telephone call saying that my father
18:21has just killed someone.
18:23which I need to attend to.
18:26Did you tell everyone I was dead?
18:35Maybe.
18:36Because, uh, they all thought I was dead.
18:42He's killed me!
18:43Oh!
18:43Oh!
18:44Don't kill me!
18:45I know something!
18:46What?
18:47What do you know?
18:48Oh, Chris.
18:49He's saying you slept with him like that.
18:50He's saying what?
18:51He thinks you're dead, so he's telling everybody you slept with him.
18:54He's the one you should be angry at.
18:56Not me.
18:56I'm insignificant.
18:58Bastard.
19:06Voicemail.
19:10Hey, it's Jen.
19:12Stop telling everyone I slept with you, you bastard!
19:18Must have gone home.
19:20Oh, God, my throat hurts.
19:24Well, it's probably all that shouting.
19:29I'm talking, aren't I?
19:32Can you get me his address?
19:34Yes, it might be a bit difficult.
19:37I have to hack into his private company account.
19:39It might take some time.
19:41There we go.
19:44Oh, I really don't feel very well.
19:48Well, you look terrible.
19:52I'm still talking, aren't I?
20:03You have one new message.
20:07Hey, it's Jen.
20:09Stop telling people I slept with you.
20:11You...you bastard!
20:14SCREAMS
20:18SCREAMS
20:21SCREAMS
20:23SCREAMS
20:24Where, Roy?
20:27Roy's dead.
20:35SCREAMS
20:42SCREAMS
20:43No!
20:44No!
20:45Don't break down!
20:46Don't break down!
20:47You bitch!
20:50Oh, my God!
20:53Oh, my God!
20:55Oh, my God!
20:59Oh, my God!
21:00Oh!
21:02Oh!
21:02Oh!
21:10Come on!
21:13Come on!
21:14Come on!
21:14Richly!
21:15Screams!
21:16Richly!
21:16Screams!
21:17Screams!
21:17Screams!
21:18Oh!
21:19Oh!
21:20Thank God!
21:21OK!
21:22Um...
21:23Right!
21:27Probably the guys.
21:28Probably guys.
21:29Probably guys.
21:29Leaving a mess...
21:30Funny message.
21:31Probably...
21:32Bob.
21:33It's Bob.
21:34Leaving funny messages.
21:35And, er...
21:36And a floating head.
21:40Just...
21:41A little stress.
21:42A bit stress.
21:43It's all.
21:44And...
21:44And just fun and games.
21:49SCREAMS
21:50SCREAMS
21:50SCREAMS
21:51SCREAMS
21:51SCREAMS
21:51SCREAMS
21:51SCREAMS
21:51SCREAMS
21:52SCREAMS
21:56SCREAMS
21:57SCREAMS
21:57SCREAMS
21:57SCREAMS
21:57SCREAMS
22:00SCREAMS
22:00SCREAMS
22:00SCREAMS
22:00Let me in!
22:04Let me in!
22:04Let me in, Phil!
22:06No!
22:06It's raining!
22:08SCREAMS
22:09Please, let me in!
22:10No!
22:10You'll never come again!
22:12Stop telling people I've spent with you!
22:14I will!
22:15I will!
22:16I'm sorry!
22:17Bob's Day!
22:19SCREAMS
22:20SCREAMS
22:20BOOS DAY!
22:22Oh, God!
22:23I'm sorry!
22:24YOU BOOS DAY!
22:28BOOOOOOOOOO!
22:29BOOOOOOP!
22:32BOOOOO!
22:32BOOOOO!
22:34BOOOOO!
22:40BOOOOO!
22:43BOOOOO!
22:44BOOOOO!
22:47BOOOOO!!
22:48BOOOOO!
22:50A little too hard
22:51You felt a twinge
22:53It was your heart
22:55And you're dead now
22:59And though you're only four feet
23:03Eleven
23:04There's no higher stakes
23:06On the gates of heaven
23:08You're no longer around
23:10I don't think that's Elton John
23:15You're on the ground
23:16We're all the same height
23:18When we're lying down
23:50We're going to park
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