- 2 days ago
TV, Movie, Fawlty Towers S01 E02 - The Builders 1975
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:26Sorry, I forgot my key.
00:28Oh, thanks.
00:32Hello, Fawlty Towers?
00:35Yes?
00:36Yes?
00:38No, this afternoon, that'd be fine.
00:41No, it's 16, Elwood Avenue.
00:4416?
00:45That's it.
00:47Can't put these outside, though, shall I, dear?
00:49Polly, this is where we'll be if you need us.
00:52There's the number.
00:53So if Mr Stubbs wants to know anything when he comes, just ring.
00:55But don't if you don't have to, love.
00:57It's the first weekend we've had off since Audrey had her hysterectomy.
01:00Don't worry.
01:01I know what they've got to do.
01:02Oh, somebody called about a garden gnome.
01:04Oh, yes.
01:05Well, it's in and they're going to deliver it this afternoon.
01:07Oh, good.
01:08Um, golf shoes.
01:10Good morning, Major.
01:12Very well.
01:15Now, does everyone know about dinner tonight?
01:17I think so.
01:18But you'll be able to manage breakfast tomorrow, will you?
01:20Oh, it's just the ladies in the major.
01:22Where are those shoes?
01:23One moment, please.
01:24I will get your bill.
01:25Get your bill.
01:27Get your bill.
01:29I will get your bill.
01:30Get.
01:31Get.
01:31Go.
01:31Go.
01:32Get.
01:32Go.
01:33Go.
01:33That's it.
01:33I will get your bill.
01:36Holly.
01:36Oh, Manuel.
01:37Put those in the case.
01:38You.
01:39Will you come in the case?
01:40Oh, no, Manuel.
01:42Oh, one moment, please.
01:43I will get your bill.
01:45What?
01:46I will get your bill.
01:47See?
01:47What are you talking about?
01:48Listen, no, please.
01:49Today, we have beef bill orthophages.
01:53See?
01:54What?
01:54Bankers.
01:55Look, shut up.
01:56Eh?
01:56Shut up.
01:57Oh, si, si.
01:58Shut up.
01:58Yes, I understand.
01:59Will you please shut up?
02:00Si, si.
02:00I shut up.
02:01Now, while we're away.
02:02Shut up.
02:02Shut up!
02:03Now, while we're away, darn, clean the windows.
02:07Oh, look.
02:09Look, cuando nosotros somos away.
02:11What's away in Spanish?
02:12Huh?
02:13You know, away.
02:13Away.
02:14Oh, si, si.
02:14No, no, not you.
02:16We're away.
02:17Clean the windows.
02:18Green.
02:19No, no, look.
02:21Clean the windows.
02:23Clean the windows.
02:27Ah!
02:27I'm here, I'm here.
02:30Morning, Fongy.
02:31Morning, Major.
02:32The windows, see?
02:32Look, clean the windows.
02:34Come on.
02:34Come on.
02:36Oh, Mr. Forty.
02:37Ah, morning, ladies.
02:38Ursula and I think you're a very naughty boy.
02:41Don't we, Ursula?
02:42Oh, God.
02:43Oh, really?
02:44Going away for the weekend and leaving us all alone.
02:47Ah, yes.
02:48Ah, but we know where you're going.
02:50The cat's out of the bag.
02:52You and your wife?
02:53Well, it's only Penton.
02:55Ah, we'll have a lovely time.
02:57It'll do you good.
02:58You need to get away from things.
03:01Yes, well, we're going together.
03:03And don't you worry about us.
03:05Oh, all right.
03:06Now, you know the men are coming to do some work here?
03:08Oh, yes.
03:08So you have to go to Glen Eagle's for your din-dins tonight?
03:11Yes.
03:12And Polly will be in charge if you need anything.
03:14Oh, and have a lovely weekend.
03:16And don't do anything we wouldn't do.
03:19Oh, just a little breathing, surely.
03:21Ah, well, I must buzz off now.
03:23Buzz, buzz?
03:24Yes, you know, Abita.
03:25Have a bad day mumble.
03:26Oh, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz.
03:29Polly, I have asked you, please, not to leave your strange drawings lying around the place.
03:33I mean, I'm sorry, but what is this supposed to be?
03:35Oh, it's just a sketch.
03:36I mean, what is it?
03:37What are you trying to do?
03:38This is a junkyard, isn't it?
03:39Oh, can I have it?
03:40Why has it got a collar and tie under it?
03:41Well, it's not finished.
03:42It's very good, you know.
03:43Old soup tins, broken down card, dustbins, mattresses, hoovers, and a nice smart collar and tie under it.
03:48I mean, what's it supposed to be?
03:50It's not important.
03:51Can I have it back?
03:51It's irritating.
03:53I mean, do you ever sell any of those?
03:54I sell a few portraits now and again, thank you.
03:56Sure.
03:57Haven't much hope for this one.
03:58Would you give me that statement, please?
04:00I don't know, what is the point of something like that?
04:01No point.
04:02No point?
04:03What's the point of being alive?
04:04Beats me, you're stuck with it, I suppose.
04:06Would you be the stapler?
04:07You don't go on at me.
04:09The stapler!
04:12Sorry.
04:12I mean, what's the matter with you today?
04:14I didn't get much sleep last night.
04:16We are leaving you in charge.
04:17I didn't do it to spite you, I promise.
04:19Oh, good.
04:19Well, you won't be all so tired, then, will you?
04:2140 towers.
04:23Basil.
04:24Who is it?
04:25It's Mr. O'Reilly, Basil.
04:27It's odd.
04:28Must be about the garden wall.
04:29Hello, O'Reilly?
04:30Yes, sir.
04:31Now, look.
04:31When are you coming to finish our garden wall?
04:33We are sick and tired of having that pile of bricks blocking the list, and I told you
04:36not to call.
04:36You know, my wife thinks Stubbs is doing the doors.
04:39Well, what time will they be here, then?
04:41Right, four o'clock.
04:42Now, listen.
04:42If there's any problems, tell your men to get Polly to call me.
04:45You understand?
04:46So, next week's a definite, then, is it?
04:48Oh, good.
04:48Well, that'll be nice, won't it?
04:49I mean, we waited for that wall about as long as Hadrian.
04:53No, no.
04:54Hadrian.
04:55The Emperor Hadrian.
04:56He had a walk.
04:56It doesn't matter.
04:57I'll explain it next week.
04:58Thank you so much.
04:58Goodbye.
05:00You don't really believe all that, do you, Basil?
05:01We've been waiting four months.
05:03Why should he do it now?
05:03Oh, I think he will this time, dear.
05:05If you'd used Stubbs...
05:06We'd have a huge bill.
05:07Look, you get what you pay for.
05:09O'Reilly's a cut-priced cock-up artist.
05:11Oh, Sibyl.
05:12Stubbs, you may pay a little more.
05:13A little more?
05:14Yes, a little, but he does a really professional job, and he does it when he says he will.
05:19You'll see.
05:20When is he coming?
05:22Oh, about four o'clock, I think, dear.
05:24And you're going to wear that jacket, are you?
05:26Yes, I am, thank you, dear.
05:27Yes.
05:28You just haven't a clue, have you?
05:29You wouldn't understand, dear.
05:30It's called style.
05:33Woo-hoo!
05:35They're here, Basil.
05:36How fabulous.
05:38Do try to be agreeable this weekend, Basil.
05:41Now, have I got everything?
05:42Handbag, knock-up dusters, flick knife.
05:45Come on, Basil.
05:46Don't hang a bag.
05:47I'm just coming, dear.
05:49Wait, Polly.
05:52Now, Polly, the men will be here at four o'clock.
05:54You know what they're doing?
05:54Well, they're putting the door through to the kitchen.
05:56Now, at the bottom of the stairs, and?
05:57And?
05:58And blocking the drawing room door.
05:59Blocking it?
06:00Just blocking it off, girls, so we can have a privacy away from the plebs.
06:02Don't you take anything in?
06:03Where's my cap?
06:04It's all...
06:17She said you were never using him again.
06:19I don't want to be...
06:19Look, he's sending his best men.
06:20All you have to do is take a quick look when they finish.
06:22All right?
06:22Any problems, call me.
06:23Right?
06:24Have a nice weekend.
06:24Goodbye.
06:25If she asks me, I'll tell her.
06:27Oh, thank you.
06:28Thank you, Polly, so much.
06:29Yes, I've always been a great admirer of Polly.
06:34I forget.
06:35Oh, it doesn't matter, Manuel.
06:37Huh?
06:37De Norte.
06:38Oh.
06:39Oh, sir.
06:45Oh, it's Mr. Fawlty.
06:47Shh.
06:49Windows, por favor.
06:50Oh, sÃ.
06:50Shh.
06:57Oh, Polly, it's finished.
06:58I'm tired.
06:59Oh, that's wonderful, Manuel.
07:00Just hold it a second.
07:01Again?
07:03Oh, no, no, no, please.
07:05You must speak me English.
07:06It's good.
07:06I learn.
07:07I want to go upstairs in a moment.
07:10Eh, qué?
07:11I go upstairs.
07:13Ah, sÃ, easy, easy.
07:15For a little sleep.
07:16It's difficult.
07:17For siesta.
07:19Siesta?
07:19A little sleep?
07:20Yes.
07:21Oh, same in Spanish.
07:22When O'Reilly's men come, you must wake me.
07:25When O'Reilly's men, oh, sÃ.
07:27No, ma'am, well, listen.
07:28When men come here, Senor O'Reilly.
07:31Ah, when men come?
07:32You come upstairs and wake me up.
07:34Yes.
07:36DespÃate me.
07:37Ah, sÃ.
07:37When men come, I'll go to your room to wake you up.
07:40Antes que empiecen a trabajar aquÃ, ¿sÃ?
07:42Comprendo, comprendo.
07:43Finished.
07:44Eh?
07:45Oh, good.
07:52Manuel!
07:55Yes.
07:58Manuel Towers, how are you?
08:00It's nice.
08:01Today, good.
08:02Goodbye.
08:04Goodbye.
08:09Oh, good day.
08:11Hello.
08:11How are you?
08:13Number 16.
08:14Si, 16, but no eat.
08:16What?
08:1716 is free, but not possible.
08:19Is this number 16?
08:21No, no.
08:22This lobby, 16 upstairs on the right.
08:25Who's in charge here?
08:26No, no.
08:27Charge later after sleep.
08:29Where's the boss?
08:30Eh, boss is, eh...
08:32Oh.
08:33I, boss.
08:34No, no, no, no.
08:35Where's the real boss?
08:37Que?
08:38The, the, the generalissimo.
08:41In Madrid.
08:44Look, just sign this, will you?
08:47Si, si, si, si.
08:48Eh, 16.
08:50What?
08:50You want room 16?
08:51No, I don't want a roommate.
08:54I'm just leaving him, right?
08:56You want room 16 for him?
08:59Yeah, with a bath.
09:01Your day go twit.
09:02You're mad.
09:03You're mad.
09:04You pay for room first.
09:05You're crazy.
09:06For room 16.
09:07No room 16.
09:08No, no pay.
09:08No room 16.
09:09Ah.
09:12Ah.
09:13Eh.
09:15Eh.
09:16Fawlty Towers, how are you?
09:18Nice day.
09:19What?
09:20Eh, no.
09:20No, no.
09:21He not here.
09:22He not here.
09:22Very, very sorry.
09:23Eh, goodbye.
09:23Goodbye.
09:24Oh.
09:26Ah.
09:27Hello, men.
09:28Good day, now.
09:30Eh, you are men.
09:31You are?
09:32You're men.
09:33Are you trying to be funny?
09:35Huh?
09:35I said, are you trying to be funny?
09:37Not here, but not here.
09:38You're men with Orly.
09:39What?
09:40You Orly men.
09:41What does that mean?
09:42You Orly.
09:42You watch it.
09:43We're Orly.
09:44What's he going on about?
09:45He means O'Reilly.
09:47What?
09:48Oh.
09:49Yes, that's right, yes.
09:51We are Orly men.
09:54Think he's a plank.
09:55Eh, you wait here, please.
09:57I go.
09:57You wait.
09:58Yes.
09:59Eh, eh, you wait too, please.
10:12Polly.
10:13Polly.
10:14Polly.
10:16Polly.
10:16Polly.
10:17Shh.
10:18Shh.
10:18Shh.
10:20Shh.
10:22Shh.
10:29Hey, hello, Fawlty Towers.
10:31How are you?
10:31It was a nice day.
10:32Oh, you again.
10:33No, I see.
10:33He not here.
10:34He not here.
10:35Very, very sorry.
10:36Goodbye.
10:37Oh, come on.
10:38We can't.
10:39Eh, you men know what to do?
10:42Oh, I think so.
10:43This is the, uh, dining room.
10:44You are certain you know?
10:45It looks pretty straightforward.
10:47We just got to block this one off.
10:49Yes, yes, yes.
10:51Oh, it's you again.
10:52Now listen.
10:53He not here.
10:53How many times?
10:54Where are your ears, you great big half-wit?
10:57He not here.
10:58Listen.
11:01Now you understand.
11:05He...
11:05Oh.
11:07Oh.
11:07Oh, Mr. Fawlty.
11:09I'm very sorry.
11:10Very sorry.
11:11It's you.
11:12Yes, it's me, Mr. Fawlty.
11:14Eh, Polly.
11:15No, no.
11:15She, she, she's very busy.
11:17Eh, men.
11:18Yes, men are here.
11:19Eh, men are work.
11:20You work, men.
11:21Yes.
11:23Which, uh, ah.
11:24Yes, men with be...
11:25Eh, please.
11:26Which one is man with beard?
11:29Eh, kid.
11:30Eh, si, si.
11:31Kid.
11:32Ag.
11:33Oh, ang, ang.
11:33Si, si, comprando.
11:35Si.
11:35One moment, please.
11:36Eh, you are a hideous orang-outang.
11:42Yeah!
11:43Not bad, Manuel.
11:45Thank you very much.
11:47Thank you very much.
12:10Bye.
12:24Bye.
12:29Polly, Polly, Polly, Polly, what have you done with my hotel, Polly?
13:01What have you done with my dining room door, where is it?
13:04I don't know.
13:04Why don't you know, I left you in charge.
13:06Well, I fell asleep.
13:07You fell asleep?
13:08Well, it's not my fault.
13:09You fell asleep, but it's not your fault.
13:11He forgot to wake me.
13:12Who forgot to wake you?
13:13It is my fault.
13:14Manuel, I knew it.
13:16I can't blame him.
13:17Why not?
13:18It's not really his fault.
13:19Well, whose fault is it then, you clothier dink?
13:22It is condense.
13:24Well, you hired O'Reilly, didn't you?
13:26I mean, we all warned you.
13:27Who else would do something like this?
13:28I beg your pardon?
13:30You hired O'Reilly.
13:32Oh, I see it's my fault, is it?
13:34Oh, of course.
13:35There I was thinking it was your fault because you've been left in charge, or Manuel's fault
13:40for not wake you, and all the time it was my fault.
13:42Oh, it's so obvious now.
13:44I've seen the light.
13:45Well, I must be punished then, mustn't I?
13:47You're a naughty boy, Walter.
13:50Don't do it.
13:51What am I going to do?
13:52What am I going to do?
13:52She's going to be back at lunchtime.
13:55I can't wait.
13:55Look, I'm a dead man.
13:57Do you realize?
13:58Easy.
13:58You're dead too.
13:59We're all dead.
14:00Don't panic.
14:01What else is there to do?
14:08We don't want to try it.
14:10He's made his master!
14:11He's coming!
14:12He'll pour himself in the air!
14:14Oh, just pour himself in the air!
14:16Come on!
14:19Come on!
14:22Again!
14:24Fire!
14:26Right, I'll call her right.
14:31What is this?
14:32I mean, what is this doing?
14:33Why is this coming over here?
14:35Your wife ought to call O'Reilly.
14:37That golf-eating puffer, I want you to ask.
14:41Call O'Reilly!
14:42What?
14:43Shall I call him?
14:43No, no, I'll do it.
14:44I'll call him.
14:45You go and see if the roof's still on.
14:54What are you doing?
14:55Stay there.
14:55You can't do that now.
14:57You go and see if they've started breakfast now.
15:00Ow!
15:04Ah, hello, Mr. O'Reilly.
15:07How are you this morning?
15:08Oh, good, good.
15:09No rare diseases or anything.
15:12Oh, I do beg your pardon.
15:13Um, Basil Forty.
15:14You remember?
15:15The poor sod you do jobs for?
15:17Well, then, how are things your end?
15:20Oh, good.
15:22Good, good, good.
15:24Well, then, how would you like to hear about things my end?
15:27Oh, well, at your usual standard, I think I could say.
15:30A few holes in the floor, the odd door missing, but nothing you can't be sued for.
15:34Good morning!
15:37I beg your pardon?
15:38Good morning!
15:39One moment, please.
15:42Would you say good morning?
15:44Si!
15:45Oh, si!
15:47Well, what are you going to do now?
15:48Eh?
15:49What you do now?
15:51I shall breakfast.
15:53Ah, well.
15:53Let's see you then.
15:55Si.
15:59Where is door?
16:02Door is gone?
16:04Door!
16:05Door was here!
16:06Well, um...
16:09Oh, good morning, Major.
16:11I'm so sorry.
16:12I swear the dining room door seems to have disappeared.
16:15Oh, yes.
16:16Oh, yes.
16:16So it has.
16:17It used to be that.
16:18Yes, well, I was silly enough to leave the hotel for a few minutes.
16:21Yes, well, all these things happen, you know.
16:23Now I wonder where it's gone to.
16:26Oh, don't worry.
16:27It's bound to turn up.
16:28Oh, oh.
16:28Hasn't newspapers arrived yet?
16:30Uh, not yet, no, Major.
16:31And, well, will you please show the Major how to get in the dining room via the kitchen?
16:35This is difficult.
16:36Oh, Major, will you please show Manuel how to get in the dining room via the kitchen?
16:39Oh, yes.
16:39Yes, of course.
16:40Come here.
16:40Come on.
16:40Watch your name.
16:44Now, look here, everybody.
16:45I want my dining room door put back in.
16:47This other one taken away by one o'clock.
16:48Do you understand?
16:49No, no.
16:50No, I don't want to debate about it.
16:51If you're not over here in 20 minutes with my door, I shall come over there and insert a large
16:54garden dome in you.
16:55Good day.
16:59I'm sorry, Mr. Fawlty, but my men just won't work on a Sunday, and that's the way it is.
17:04There's nothing I can do about it.
17:05Well, how long is it going to take you?
17:06Well, I'm working as fast as I can.
17:08Well, I'd better be fast enough.
17:09I mean, she is here in four hours.
17:11Tia.
17:12What?
17:13Food a cup of friend, girl.
17:14Oh, lovely.
17:14He hasn't got time to drink that now.
17:16Biscuit?
17:16Oh, these look good.
17:17Give it to me.
17:17Now, will you get on with it?
17:18Look, look, look.
17:19This lot here, an hour and a half.
17:21This one, easy.
17:22Lick a paint.
17:23Lick a paint.
17:24Lick a paint one hour.
17:26What time is it now?
17:27Ten to nine.
17:27All right, ten to nine, and two and a half hours is plenty of time.
17:31Give us a business.
17:31No, no, you can have one when you've done the door.
17:33Polytechnal way.
17:33You can have that when you've finished the door, too.
17:35The trouble with you, Mr. Fawlty, is that you're worried too much.
17:38You keep it up like this, and you'll have a stroke before you're 50.
17:42Stone dead, you'll be.
17:43Suits me.
17:44That's a dreadful thing to say.
17:45Get a bit of peace.
17:47Don't be so morbid.
17:48The good Lord made the world so that we could all enjoy ourselves.
17:51Look, my wife enjoys herself.
17:53I worry.
17:53Well, let me tell you, if the good Lord meant us to worry, he would have given us things
17:58to worry about.
17:59He has.
18:00My wife.
18:01She will be back here in four hours, and she can kill a man at ten paces with one blow
18:06off her tongue, and I suppose not to worry.
18:08Just remember, Mr. Fawlty, there's always someone worse off than yourself.
18:13Is there?
18:13Well, I'd like to meet him.
18:14I could do with her, love.
18:15You just have to worry for the both of us.
18:17I'm telling you, if the good Lord...
18:18He's mentioned once more.
18:19I shall move you closer to him.
18:21Now, please!
18:23Mr. Fawlty, she's here.
18:24What?
18:25She's here.
18:25Oh, God!
18:28Can't be a man.
18:29I'll just get him.
18:38Hide!
18:39Hide!
18:39Hide!
18:39Hide!
18:40I'll try and get rid of her.
18:41Where?
18:41In there!
18:41In there!
18:42I'll try and stall.
18:43Oh, God help me!
18:45Hello, Sybil!
18:46Hello, Basil.
18:48Well, you finished your girls earlier.
18:50We haven't started yet, Basil.
18:52Ah, where are you going, dear?
18:53Up these steps.
18:54Oh, dear, it's such a lovely day.
18:55Let's go for a walk.
18:56We haven't done that for years.
18:58Oh, Sybil!
18:58I nearly forgot.
18:59You're not going to believe this.
19:00Let me show you.
19:01There.
19:03Look at that.
19:05There's stubs for you.
19:07Cool.
19:08Mind you, I warned you, but still, a reputable builder like that.
19:11Tsk, tsk, tsk.
19:15Stubs?
19:17Wicked.
19:19Where's O'Reilly, Basil?
19:21Criminal.
19:28Where's O'Reilly?
19:30O'Reilly?
19:31Yes, O'Reilly.
19:33Sybil, you never cease to amaze.
19:35I mean, just because of this, you automatically assume it has to be O'Reilly, right?
19:39I mean, you just assume that I have been lying all along, right?
19:42I mean, why O'Reilly?
19:44Because his van's outside.
19:46Well, he's here now.
19:48Of course he's here now.
19:49He's got to clear up this mess that your stubs has made.
19:51That's why his van's outside.
19:54On a Sunday.
19:54I mean, that's what I call service.
19:56I agree.
19:57You do?
19:58Yes.
19:58But if stubs has made this mess, then I think they should come and clear it up.
20:02Well, yes, but I mean, there's no point now that O'Reilly's here, dear.
20:04I mean, we want it done straight away.
20:05Yeah, well, there's no point in paying money to Mr. O'Reilly when Mr. Stubs would have to do it
20:08for free.
20:09I'll call him now.
20:10Well, he won't be there on a Sunday, dear.
20:11Well, then I'll call him at home.
20:15I'm getting a bit of a chip from the old lake this morning.
20:18Not to worry.
20:18Anyway, I've called him at home, and he's not there.
20:21When did you call him?
20:22Oh, first thing, before I called O'Reilly.
20:24Wasn't that rather early for a Sunday?
20:25Well, I called him just a few minutes ago, just before you arrived.
20:27There's nobody there.
20:31Oh, yes, hello.
20:32Fawlty Towers, yes.
20:34Who?
20:36Uh, yes, I think you'd better have a word with my wife.
20:39Um, somebody from Mr. Stubs, dear.
20:42Hello, Sipfawlty.
20:44Well, it is a complete mess.
20:47Well, could you come straight round and put it right?
20:50Would you like to deal with this, Basil?
20:53So, you see, we couldn't possibly manage it for at least three weeks.
20:56But if you want it done straight away, I suggest you try someone like, uh,
21:01oh, what's his name?
21:02It's, uh, O'Reilly?
21:05Bravo, Polly.
21:06Well done, girl.
21:06But listen, where are you speaking from?
21:08She's in here with me, Basil.
21:11You don't know what it is, but I should have told you.
21:14Is that somebody there trying to pretend that they're from Mr. Stubbs' company?
21:17What sort of game do you think you're playing?
21:18I mean, fear, fear.
21:20Could you believe what some of these people will do, Sipfawl?
21:22I am going to make you regret this for the rest of your life, Basil.
21:25Well, fair enough, I suppose, but I think Stubbs is partly to...
21:27Basil!
21:28Oh, don't you dare, don't you dare give me any more of those pathetic lies!
21:33Oh, right.
21:34What are you telling me for?
21:36Did you really think that I would believe that this shambles is the work of professional builders?
21:41I mean, people who do it for a living?
21:42No, no, not really, no.
21:44Why did I trust you, Basil?
21:45Why did I let you make the arrangements?
21:47I could have seen what was going to happen.
21:49Why did I do it?
21:50Well, we all make mistakes, dear.
21:52I think it took that of you.
21:53You never learn, do you?
21:54You never, ever learn.
21:57We have used O'Reilly three times in the last year, and each time it has been a fiasco.
22:01That haul out there is still not done.
22:03You got him in to change a washer in November, and we didn't have any running water for two weeks.
22:07Well, he's not really a plumber, dear.
22:08Well, then why did you hire him?
22:11Because he's cheap.
22:12Oh, I wouldn't call him cheap, Basil.
22:13Oh, what would you call him, then?
22:15Well, cheapish, but I think...
22:17And the reason he's cheapish is he's no bloody goat.
22:19Oh, sir, are you doing so, to your...
22:21I mean, he's not brilliant.
22:22Not brilliant, he belongs in a zoo.
22:24Oh, sir, you've never given anyone the benefit of the doubt.
22:27He's shoddy, he doesn't care, he's a liar, he's incompetent, he's lazy, he's nothing but a half-witted, thick Irish
22:32joke.
22:33Ah, hello, O'Reilly, how funny we were just talking about you, and then we got on to another Irish
22:37bill we used to know.
22:38Oh, God, he was off!
22:40I was talking about you, Mr O'Reilly.
22:42Were you there? I thought you were talking...
22:45Come, come, Mrs Forty.
22:47I'm coming.
22:48Oh, dear me, what have I done now?
22:50That and that.
22:51Not to worry, I'm putting it right.
22:53Not to worry?
22:54You've heard of the genius of the lamp, Mrs Forty.
22:58Well, that's me.
22:59You think I'm joking, don't you?
23:02Oh, don't smile.
23:04Why are you smiling, Mr O'Reilly?
23:06Well, to be perfectly honest, Mrs Forty, I like a woman with spirit.
23:10Oh, do you? Is that what you like?
23:12I do, I do.
23:13Oh, good.
23:15Now, Sybil, that's enough.
23:18Come on, then, give us a smile.
23:23Oh, O'Reilly, I have seen more intelligent creatures than you lying on their backs at the bottom of ponds.
23:28I have seen better organised creatures than you running round farmyards with their heads cut off.
23:32Now, collect your things and get out.
23:35I never want to see you or any of your men in my hotel again.
23:40Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to speak to a professional builder.
23:43Hello, Mr Stubbs?
23:45It's civil faulty here.
23:47I'm sorry to disturb you on a Sunday morning.
23:48We have a slight problem with a couple of doors we'd like you to take care of.
23:51When do you think you could come round and take a look at them?
23:55Tomorrow morning at nine o'clock.
23:57That'll be fine.
23:58See you then.
23:59Thank you very much.
24:00Goodbye.
24:02Well, I think I shall go over to Audrey's now, and I shan't be back till the morning.
24:07Oh, Basil.
24:08Yes, dear?
24:08What is that doing here?
24:10It's your garden, dear.
24:11Isn't it nice?
24:12Well, don't you think it would be better in the garden?
24:14Yes, dear.
24:15Good idea.
24:16Oh, no, no, no.
24:16Basil, put him back.
24:17On second thoughts, I think I'll leave him in charge.
24:20I'm sure he's cheap, and he'll certainly be better at it than you are.
24:24Have a nice day, dear.
24:27Don't drive over any mines or anything.
24:30I'm sick of a midget.
24:32Where are you going here, Riley?
24:33Would you please take your tools back and continue with the work?
24:36Well, I can't give you what Mrs Farty was saying.
24:39You're not going to take that seriously, are you?
24:40Well, I thought I might.
24:41You thought you were me?
24:42What sort of a man are you, O'Reilly?
24:44You're going to let her speak to us like that?
24:46Well, she did.
24:46No, she didn't.
24:47She thinks she did, but we'll show her.
24:49We're not just going to put that door back and take that one out.
24:51We're going to cleanse that one off and put that one through as well.
24:54We're going to do the best day's work you've ever done, O'Reilly.
25:02Manuel, any sign?
25:04Okay.
25:04No, no, no, no.
25:06Morning, Farty.
25:07Ah, morning, Major.
25:08Paper secure?
25:09Ah, good.
25:10Notice anything new, Major?
25:11Another car strike.
25:13Never mind, never mind.
25:14Morning, Major.
25:15Oh, good morning, uh...
25:17Never mind.
25:18Oh, right.
25:20Ah, you found it.
25:22I knew you would.
25:23He lost it, you know.
25:25Mr. Farty, she come now.
25:27She come now.
25:27Quick, quick.
25:47Good morning, dear.
25:49Good morning, dear.
25:56Did you have a pleasant evening, dear?
25:58Oh, good.
25:59Ah, Mr. Stubbs, my wife's just there.
26:01Good morning, Mrs. Farty.
26:02Oh, Mr. Stubbs, this is most awkward.
26:05I'm afraid I have to apologise.
26:10My husband has put me in rather an embarrassing situation once again.
26:14I was going to ask you to do some work here.
26:16Yes.
26:17But I was away last night, and when I came back just now,
26:20well, it appears to have been done.
26:21Everything all right, dear?
26:22Oh, I see.
26:23I mean, it'll probably all fall down by lunchtime.
26:26Oh, do you think so, dear?
26:27Well, let's ask a real expert.
26:28Do you think it'll all fall down by lunch, Mr. Stubbs?
26:30Well, no, no.
26:31No, Mr. Stubbs wouldn't agree with you on that one, dear.
26:33It's a very good job.
26:34Oh, did you hear that, dear?
26:35A very good job.
26:38Oh, none of us likes me wrong, dear.
26:39I certainly don't.
26:40And then we knock through this door here, and we close this one off.
26:43What did you use?
26:44What did you use?
26:45A RSJ?
26:45A no, no, 4x2.
26:47Not bad, Ada.
26:48And not expensive.
26:49I mean, for the lintel.
26:50Did you use an RSJ?
26:52You know, an iron girder.
26:54Or did you use a concrete lintel?
26:56No, it wouldn't one.
26:58Well, that's a supporting wall.
27:00What?
27:01Quite good.
27:01Well, thanks very much for coming over this morning.
27:04Just a minute.
27:05You mean that isn't strong enough?
27:07That's a supporting wall, Mrs. Foley.
27:08You could give away at any moment.
27:10Any moment?
27:11Yeah, go to help the floors above.
27:12Look, keep this door shut.
27:14Maybe I can get a screw jack to prop it up before the bloody lot comes in.
27:17I don't know, cowboys.
27:19Basil?
27:21Basil!
27:22Basil!
27:26I'm going to see Mr. O'Reilly, dear.
27:28I think I might go to Canada.
27:51I'm going to see Mr. O'Reilly.
28:08I'm going to see Mr. O'Reilly.
28:10I'm going to see Mr. O'Reilly.
28:12I'm going to see Mr. O'Reilly.
28:13I'm going to see Mr. O'Reilly.
28:13I'm going to see Mr. O'Reilly.
28:13I'm going to see Mr. O'Reilly.
Comments