- 20 hours ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:01All right, so you have your marching orders.
00:03Yes, I am going to lie to Janine to get her and Gregory talking,
00:06which will lead to them reconciling.
00:08And then I will flirt with Gregory like I used to,
00:10and you know I only did that to send him into the arms of Janine.
00:12I don't think that's why.
00:13Ready? Break.
00:14And that's how I know.
00:15Gregory thinks that you two should fly and not drive to the Outer Banks.
00:19He said if you're a bird, he's a bird.
00:22Gregory quoted the notebook?
00:26Hey, big head.
00:27No.
00:30Okay, don't be mad, but it didn't work.
00:31Janine saw right through me like my daddy is a glassmaker.
00:34Same.
00:34I should have known Gregory wouldn't believe I'd step out on O'Shawn.
00:37Stupid.
00:38We can do this, okay?
00:39We just need to think.
00:42Okay.
00:43What about...
00:46Okay, give me room.
00:48I'm circling.
00:50We've got nothing.
00:51No, I really had something.
00:53Okay, then finish your thought.
00:57Well, now it's too much pressure.
00:58Yeah.
01:14Ready for another planning meeting?
01:15Just had some matcha.
01:17It's disgusting, but it really gets the brain going.
01:19No.
01:20I've already given their relationship more attention than I've given any of my own.
01:23And I'm still trying to get the district to upgrade my flight to the teacher's conference.
01:26Gonna be jet-lagged in Miami.
01:28It's the same time zone.
01:29And on top of that, AvaFest is tomorrow.
01:31It's gotta be the best one yet.
01:32Okay, but we need to figure out a way to get Janine and Gregory back together, okay?
01:36In fact, it should be everyone's number one priority.
01:38Okay, look at me.
01:39Hey, quit telling everybody what their number one priority should be.
01:42And you two need to butt out.
01:44They're young.
01:45They will learn how to talk through it.
01:47Well, that would require them being in the same room, which they refuse to do.
01:51I got it.
01:52I'll assign them to the dunk tank.
01:54That way they'll have to put it together, together.
01:56Were we committed to doing that this year?
01:58Yes, Jacob.
01:59It's a tradition.
02:00Deal with it.
02:01Anything I could do to help?
02:02You're asking for more work?
02:04What the hell is wrong with these guys?
02:06Have I taught you nothing?
02:07I feel like I've gotten the hang of the teaching part, but I don't feel like I'm part of the
02:11Abbott culture.
02:12So I'm gonna help out with the festival.
02:13Even if that means working more closely with Ava.
02:17She kind of scares me.
02:19You know what?
02:20Finally, I have one teacher worth a damn.
02:22Young Dom, there are several things you can do, because I need to focus on finding a headliner.
02:26I'm sure you'll find someone incredible.
02:28Ew, don't ever encourage me.
02:32All right.
02:33You know, I can't think of a better pair of teachers to put this together than you two.
02:37Really?
02:38Look, I could call Morton over if you think you need a third.
02:40And we're good.
02:41Great.
02:41Thanks.
02:42Get to work.
02:44Okay, so maybe we could do...
02:46Sorry, you go.
02:46No, you can go first.
02:48I was thinking we could tackle this the same way we did the dining room table?
02:51Yeah, I was gonna say the same thing.
02:53Okay.
02:54Oh.
02:56Ready?
02:57Hey.
02:58Oh, my God, I'm sorry.
03:02Here you go.
03:03Thanks.
03:05Hey, man.
03:06You stop blowing when the balloon is full.
03:10What up?
03:11Yo.
03:12Here go the hall passes.
03:14That looks so fake.
03:15The font isn't even correct.
03:17Yes, it is.
03:18No, it's not.
03:18Yes, it is.
03:19No, it's not.
03:21I don't want to hear another word about fonts.
03:23Like, Kinsey's fine.
03:24Dang.
03:25Shouldn't hall pass be hyphenated?
03:27Yeah, you know, sometimes you overhear kids planning a lot of nonsense.
03:31So it's best just to let them do it and then you nab them afterwards because this way it
03:36helps with the consequences sticking.
03:37And also, it gives me more time of not having to do anything.
03:44We should ask Courtney.
03:45She'll know what to do.
03:46Courtney.
03:47What up, Slime?
03:48If you were to make fake hall passes, how would you do it?
03:52Don't start from scratch.
03:52Next time you get a hall pass, save it, and just change up the date and time.
03:56Yo!
03:58She's a mastermind.
03:59Yeah.
04:00I bet if she came to Sephora with us, we'd be able to steal so much more stuff.
04:03Shh!
04:04Why are you talking so loud?
04:08Young Dom, did you blow up these balloons?
04:10Yeah.
04:11Well, that was a waste of your time.
04:13These are the wrong colors.
04:14They're supposed to be purple and pink.
04:15That's my bad.
04:16I just figured the red and white are the classic carnival colors.
04:18But this is a festival.
04:19Did you get confused because Janine has the world's biggest feet?
04:21No.
04:22Well, at least tell me you took care of the food.
04:23I did.
04:24Just came from Fresh Grocer, and the fish sticks were on super sale.
04:28What?
04:28You're supposed to get chicken nuggets.
04:30Now the guests are going to have sad childhood flashbacks of when their parents used to leave them
04:33home alone, and they had to eat soggy fish sticks for dinner.
04:35Okay, that's my bad.
04:36I can redo both.
04:37But I think you're really going to love this.
04:40Hey, Mr. Johnson, can you grab the other side of that banner for me?
04:44Good thing you ain't wearing socks, because New Joyce was about to get blown off.
04:49Welcome to Abbott Fest?
04:51It's Ava Fest, a very Abbott festival.
04:55Why would it ever be called Abbott Fest?
04:57I'm sorry.
04:58Now I got to fix all your mistakes, and I still haven't found a headliner.
05:00Oh, isn't it supposed to be purple and pink?
05:05You know, we could ring it so that Jacob never gets dunked, right?
05:08Yeah, but think of the children, you know.
05:13I miss talking to you.
05:16Yeah, not talking to you has been hard.
05:25I got you.
05:25No.
05:28Chapel be thy own, it's working.
05:30Finally, their messy breakup was distracting me from the actual issues.
05:34Oh, yeah.
05:34Yeah, what is that?
05:36I think it's a funhouse mirror.
05:38Come on, who wants to be shorter and wider?
05:41I've been thinking about it, and what are we doing?
05:44This feels wrong, right?
05:47Yeah.
05:48You know, are we really breaking up over something as trivial as flying or driving?
05:54Exactly.
05:54It feels silly.
05:56And I actually crunched the numbers in between travel time to and from the airport,
05:59the security line, flight time itself, and getting a car.
06:02It's about the same amount of time as driving.
06:04Yes!
06:05So why not fly?
06:07Or why not drive?
06:10Because you just crunched the numbers, and it's all the same.
06:13Except for price.
06:15And I was just crunching the numbers to make sure that I wasn't being crazy.
06:18Oh, so I'm being crazy?
06:19No, I was saying that I would...
06:21That's what that kind of insinuates.
06:22We get caught up in this thing and say, I'm never saying...
06:24What are you guys carrying on about?
06:26We're right back where we started.
06:28Yeah, I guess we are.
06:29And I crunched some numbers, and you can build the dunk tank by yourself.
06:34It's fine.
06:35You know she's right.
06:37It really is a one-person job.
06:43Love is in the data center polluted air.
06:46I wish that were the case.
06:48What?
06:50Janine and Gregory are at each other's throats, and not in the good way.
06:56I don't understand why they can't figure this out.
06:59That's why I said no one should be in a relationship until they're 65, once the brain is fully developed.
07:05I'll just tell Gregory she's pregnant.
07:07Then they'll definitely get back together.
07:08No, don't do that.
07:10She's weighing in.
07:12They just don't have the tools.
07:14Or the wisdom.
07:15Barb, I know you said you wanted to stay out of this, but I think we ought to help them
07:18out.
07:18Please, I am begging you.
07:21Well, I'm not going to beg you, but it would be nice.
07:25Fine.
07:26I'll talk with Janine.
07:28And I will talk to Jake.
07:30No, Mr. Johnson.
07:31You will talk to Gregory.
07:33I know.
07:34I'm just trying to add some levity around here then.
07:37You got a stack?
07:38What is life but a collection of seconds?
07:40I got three pieces of really bad news for you, okay?
07:43Three?
07:44Yeah.
07:44Number one, you're about to be the mark in a hall pass scam.
07:47Number two, I just overheard some of your homeroom students talking about they're going to go shoplift.
07:52Number three, they're getting Courtney to run point.
07:54Every bit of that was worse than the last.
07:56I know.
07:57I like this matcha.
07:58Now, if Courtney finds out just how good she is at something like that, it could lead her down like
08:03a really sketchy path.
08:04Yeah, we both know where that leads.
08:05Yeah.
08:06Wall Street.
08:06We got to get her to change her mind.
08:08We?
08:09Your homeroom, your problem, pal.
08:11Oh, interesting, because, you know, she reminds me of a certain former student of yours.
08:15Oh, wow.
08:17Manipulating me by using my past missteps against me?
08:20What are you, my mother?
08:22Courtney's a contrarian, so we can't tell her to just not do it.
08:24It's going to make her want to do it more.
08:26Yeah.
08:27Okay, okay.
08:28So, here's what we do.
08:30You find where she puts her.
08:32Why am I whispering?
08:34There's nobody here.
08:34Mm-hmm.
08:36Yes, I accept the rush job fee.
08:38Do you still offer the beautiful woman discount?
08:40Not since June.
08:42Okay, thanks.
08:43You're costing me money, Dom.
08:45I'm so sorry.
08:46I was just trying to help.
08:47Do I look to help to you?
08:48Look at that.
08:49I haven't hobbied in days.
08:50Yo, is that a battle bot?
08:52Get out!
08:52Yes, ma'am.
08:53Okay, this is bad, but I can turn this around.
08:56You know, I've been thinking about it, and I might actually have some connections that can make this the best
09:00Abbott Fest yet.
09:01Ava Fest.
09:02Make this the best Ava Fest yet.
09:07Janine, do you have a moment?
09:09I have many moments.
09:10As many moments as you need.
09:11Look, I don't want to overstep, but I'd like to discuss your breakup.
09:16Well, I don't really know what to say.
09:18I mean, we just got into it again because he's insisting on doing things his way, and I just don't
09:24think it's going to work out.
09:25Just because you have a fight doesn't mean you're not supposed to be together.
09:28Gerald and I, we've had many a fight.
09:30Where to live, how to raise the children, and some of his nastier relatives.
09:37Honestly, your fight, it's lightweight, and I know it's hard, but if you love someone, you really care about them,
09:44then you owe it to each other and your relationship to work these things out together.
09:49I know, but we can't.
09:51Every time we try to talk it out, it feels like something just grabs a hold of me.
09:56And it feels like it's the most important thing in the world.
09:59Yes.
10:00Yeah, I've been there.
10:01Right, and when you tell a man that something's important and he doesn't give it to you, that's when you
10:04walk away.
10:05Wait, who taught you that?
10:08Life, Barb, life.
10:09No, really think about it.
10:13Who taught you that?
10:14I guess the woman I've seen in relationships most in my life would be Harriet Winslow, and then second, my
10:24mom.
10:25Uh-huh.
10:27Oh, no.
10:28Okay, everyone, don't forget AvaFest tonight.
10:31Tell your folks.
10:32Hey, Courtney, do you mind sticking back for a bit?
10:35Oh, did you need some help with the lesson?
10:37Oh, hearty-har-har, no.
10:39Not this time.
10:40I bet you're wondering where your backpack is right now.
10:43Why would I wonder that?
10:44It's where I always put it.
10:45Except it's not, because we stole it.
10:48Now, I want you to really sit with how you're feeling right now.
10:50Doesn't feel too good to have something stolen from you.
10:52It probably wouldn't if you all were competent thieves.
10:55But I saw my air tag on the move earlier and got it back.
11:00Damn it!
11:01Why'd you try to steal my backpack?
11:03I overheard some kids trying to rope you into their harebrained scheme about stealing from a Sephora.
11:07So we wanted to teach you a lesson in empathy.
11:10You know stores don't have feelings, right?
11:12Okay, fine. Just promise not to steal anything, all right?
11:14Yeah, I'm not risking my future for star-shaped zit stickers.
11:18Also, you heard people talking about shoplifting, and you came to me.
11:21Shouldn't you be talking to those guys?
11:22You know what? You are correct.
11:24But before you do that, I bet you're wondering where your bags are.
11:27What's my journal?
11:28Okay, no fair. We robbed you first.
11:32Hey, Gregory.
11:33I think we should have a little chat about you and Janine.
11:36It's a private matter.
11:37No such thing as privacy in a public school.
11:40All right, fine. I just don't want to talk about it.
11:42Then I'll take the page from your book and let it go.
11:46Just like you're letting Janine go.
11:48Okay, that's not what's happening.
11:51Why is it not?
11:53She said that she didn't think that we could work through that fight.
11:56So, she ended things.
11:57Did you tell her you disagreed?
11:59When a woman says it's over, that's the end of the conversation.
12:02Where'd you pick that one up?
12:03My father said that there's a list of rules every man should follow, and that's at the top of the
12:07list.
12:07Followed by, you can only cry one tear like Denzel and Glory, and never wear flip-flops.
12:11If you believe you can work through this, Janine, you know that.
12:14Yes, you followed the advice from a man who wears sneakers to the beach.
12:19But you're your own man, right?
12:22That's not rhetorical.
12:24Are you your own man or not?
12:25Yeah.
12:26Yeah.
12:27Then what you waiting on?
12:30Hey, Barbara.
12:31Mm-hmm.
12:32Um, so I've been sitting with the whole my mom revelation, and I really don't want to be that way
12:36in relationships.
12:37Well.
12:42I don't think you're going to solve this by picking flying or driving.
12:46Oh, my God.
12:47Please don't say take a train.
12:48No, I'm saying you need to find the want behind your want.
12:52Okay.
12:53The other day, Gerald and I had an argument because I wanted to go out and have a nice dinner
12:58at Ruth's Chris,
12:59and he didn't want to because it's too expensive and the name's confusing.
13:04He's got a point.
13:04Who is Chris and why does Ruth own him?
13:07So, we had to actually decide what did we really want?
13:10The lobster mac and cheese.
13:12It's...
13:12No.
13:13Oh.
13:13What I wanted was to get away from his sister, who has been spending far too much time with us.
13:19And he wanted to have a nice meal and spend time with me.
13:22Mm-hmm.
13:23So what'd you do?
13:24We settled on the Capitol Grill, and we had a good old time.
13:28Mm-hmm.
13:29It wasn't about the place or anything else.
13:31It was just about us wanting to spend time together.
13:36So what do you want?
13:37What's the want behind your want?
13:40Okay, to go on vacation with Gregory.
13:42Uh-huh.
13:43To see the water.
13:44Oh.
13:44And to relax.
13:46Forget about everything else and start right there.
13:50You said the Bacon Brothers were available.
13:52Now you're saying Kevin's out?
13:53Well, they're at Venice tonight.
13:54I'm baking a bust.
13:56Ava.
13:58Let me call you back.
14:01What you do now?
14:02Make the Kool-Aid with flour instead of sugar?
14:04Come in, ma'am.
14:08What am I looking at?
14:10You're looking at the Philadelphia Eagles championship wide receiver, Devontae Smith.
14:14Yes, he's going to headline AvaFest.
14:16We play cousins.
14:17Well, does your play cousin play music?
14:19I play football.
14:20Well, that's useless to me.
14:21Everybody comes to AvaFest for a concert.
14:23I can play the recorder.
14:27I can't play the recorder.
14:28They made me go to football practice instead of first grade music, which it kind of worked
14:32out.
14:43Hey.
14:43Hey.
14:44Um, we never finish putting a dunk tank together.
14:48Yeah, we should probably get that done before the festival starts.
14:51Hmm.
14:52I can help.
14:53Pretty good with my hands.
14:55No, thank you, Devontae Smith.
14:57Yeah.
14:58I kind of want to do this with her.
15:00Yeah, we want to figure this out together.
15:06Also, hi.
15:07Big fan of your work.
15:10Here if you need me.
15:11The piece is over here.
15:15Ah, damn it.
15:18Hey, man, you okay?
15:21I ruined AvaFest.
15:24AvaFest.
15:24Ah, golly.
15:26AvaFest, what is wrong with me?
15:28If it's one thing I learned from football, it's not over till it's over.
15:32You're down, under two minutes, fourth and long.
15:35That's right, you play football.
15:37Damn, can I finish?
15:38And people pay to watch you play football.
15:41It's like a whole business.
15:44Devontae, that's it.
15:46Okay.
15:47Of course you're offering me pentatonix, because no one wants them after Christmas.
15:50Ava, Ava, Ava, Ava, Ava, Ava.
15:53We got an idea.
15:54Celebrity football game.
16:02Okay, just taking the last bolt, and...
16:07I want to be with you.
16:07I want to be with you, too.
16:08I'm sorry, I'm...
16:09So, no, I'm sorry.
16:10I was talking to Barbara, and...
16:13You first.
16:13I'll go, okay.
16:14Um, look, when we had our fight, I wasn't feeling heard, so I got defensive, and I ran away.
16:22And I promise that I will not run away again.
16:26And I won't let you.
16:26I was being rigid, and I couldn't see past my way of doing things, but I forgot that we were
16:32a team.
16:32Right, and, you know, if we're going to be together, there's going to be fights.
16:35There's going to be issues, but I think the key is to communicate through them.
16:40And no matter what it is, we will figure it out together, because I do not want to do that
16:43breakup s*** ever again.
16:44Oh, my God, me neither.
16:45I got banned from Rubenstein's.
16:47I got banned from the Hookah Lounge.
16:50I love you.
16:51I love you, too.
16:53Oh.
16:55Janine and Gregory just needed a push in the right direction.
16:58Now they're back to being that haired-ass couple we all know and love.
17:02You probably should have helped earlier.
17:04Uh-uh.
17:05I'll stand by how long I waited.
17:07I had things to deal with, too.
17:09Gerald wants to cancel the cable, and I was like, uh-uh.
17:11I'm not missing American Idol.
17:17Hey, y'all.
17:19Welcome to AvaFest.
17:20And for the first time ever, sign up for our celebrity football game featuring Philly's best, Devontae Smith.
17:27Come on out here, city.
17:31Hey, did he bring his Super Bowl ring?
17:33Did he bring his Super Bowl ring?
17:34Did he bring his Super Bowl ring?
17:37Who's at first?
17:38Excuse me.
17:39What?
17:40We don't push the kids.
17:41I made my kids.
17:42Have fun.
17:43George, Mackenzie, Jaden, get over here.
17:45Okay, you guys, I overheard your little plan about doing the shoplift thing, and just don't do that, okay?
17:52Hey, come on.
17:52Stealing is wrong.
17:53You guys know that.
17:54And don't try and rope Courtney into your plan, either.
17:57We're off that now.
17:58Yeah, Courtney already talked to us.
18:00Wait, Courtney talked to you?
18:01Yep.
18:02And she told us you already know.
18:03Oh, it seems like Courtney's been a good role model for you, then.
18:06So, are we in trouble?
18:09Nah, I gotta have fun.
18:10There you go.
18:11Don't fight over them.
18:16I think today we really made a difference.
18:19All we did was steal Courtney's backpack for like 10 minutes.
18:21Okay, shouldn't you be getting ready for the dunk tank?
18:25Now, Devontae, I need you to hit them with a bop, bop, right?
18:29And then come through with an eh, eh, eh.
18:31Just throw me the ball, all right?
18:33Here we go.
18:34Down, like, 80, set, hike!
18:39Come on!
18:40Come on!
18:41Did you get that?
18:43I'm gonna be honest with you.
18:44Nah.
18:46Yandam.
18:47Yes, ma'am.
18:48Really screwed up earlier.
18:50I know.
18:50Then you saved it, which really embraces the true spirit of AvaFast.
18:56That's the closest you'll ever get to a thank you from me.
18:58I'll take it.
18:59Now add some extra salt to that popcorn so people buy more water.
19:02Yes, ma'am.
19:04Nothing compares to the dopamine hit of almost getting a thank you.
19:08I finally understand being a teacher.
19:12I feel like her fight wasn't really about the Outer Banks.
19:14Really?
19:15Because it felt very much about the Outer Banks.
19:17I think it was actually about what the Outer Banks signified.
19:20Look, I want to go on a nice vacation with you where I'm not stuck in a car for half
19:26the time just because that's not relaxing for me, you know?
19:29Preferably on a beach, preferably out of the tri-state area.
19:32What do you want?
19:33I want the same.
19:35I just don't want to have to deplete my savings in order to do so.
19:39Okay, I hear that.
19:41Well, the Outer Banks can't be the only beach in the world.
19:44I mean, I don't want to hear the words Outer Banks ever again.
19:47Yeah, same.
19:48Forget about that place.
19:49Ain't nothing but a poor man's Martha's Venue.
19:52All right.
19:53We got to be able to find something that checks both of our boxes.
19:56Wait, don't we have the teacher's conference coming up in Miami?
19:57Yes, I don't consider that a vacation, but they do have a breakfast buffet complimentary
20:02so I can see.
20:03No, no, I mean, what if we combine our trips?
20:05The district is covering our flights down to Florida.
20:08What if we got a flight from there to somewhere else, like St. Lucia or the Bahamas?
20:13Oh, the Bahamas?
20:15We could even drive there.
20:18Okay, we cannot, but it looks like flights to the Bahamas from Florida are pretty reasonable,
20:23cheap even.
20:25Wait, you want to go through customs with me?
20:27I do.
20:30I'm going to get so many keychains, one with sand in it, one with palm tree.
20:34If this wasn't already full of water, I could fill this tank with happy tears.
20:38Evil, we did it!
20:42Come on, Barb.
20:43Yes!
20:45It's close.
20:46It's really more for the parents, Barb.
20:47Hey, you know what?
20:48She paid her takers just like everybody else, pal.
20:51Quiet, please.
20:51I must focus.
20:53Okay, let's go about this.
20:54Let's go.
20:55Go.
20:56That should have gone!
20:57But Cheney and Gregory built it wrong.
20:59They were too focused on their emotional turmoil.
21:02Here, you should try this.
21:03Wait, Barbara, you are a woman of integrity.
21:06Come on, respect the rules.
21:07You can't...
21:13Oh, yeah, Devontae, you are a special kind of guy.
21:17You can never leave Philadelphia.
21:20Is that a compliment or a three?
21:22Yes.
21:24Delicious.
21:25Reistes.
21:29Reolesome.
21:30And gracious!
21:32Cheers!
21:32Cheers!
21:32Cheers!
21:33Cheers!
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