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00:02Principal Coleman, we'd love to get your thoughts on a spike in teacher layoffs throughout the district.
00:06Oh, I've got thoughts for days.
00:07This Abbott life has been begging for a sit-down with Ava.
00:10I was afraid it would go off the rails, but they have some really insightful questions.
00:14I mean, this may be our best episode yet.
00:16But is this really how you want to use my airtime?
00:19Podcasts aren't for information. They're for hot takes.
00:21We love hot takes, but Mr. C thinks we should keep things school-focused.
00:25Yeah, I think it would be best if we just kind of stay.
00:27Well, I'm his boss, so overruled.
00:28No need to give me topics. I'll just go.
00:30Be our guest?
00:31An actor's height should be listed on screen whenever they appear.
00:34Even if they're short?
00:35Especially. I need to know what I'm working with.
00:37Music should not be sad.
00:39But, give you on.
00:40No, sorry. Life's hard enough.
00:43Oh, cheating is not a crime.
00:46Ava.
00:47On people or on tests?
00:49Both. I mean, you shouldn't do it, but it's not illegal.
00:53That's just a fact.
00:54I can't wait for our listeners to hear this.
01:01I've already deleted the recording.
01:03Music.
01:17What about Rehoboth Beach?
01:19Do we really want to try something new?
01:20Yeah, somewhere neither of us have been.
01:22Are you kids planning a trip?
01:23Yeah, Gregory and I are taking our first big vacation out of state.
01:27Yeah, we want to go so far we couldn't walk there, no matter how much I believe I could.
01:31They're in the ideation phase.
01:33Well, you know, you can't go wrong with Jersey Shore.
01:36Just make sure that you call dibs on your nickname first, because I was the original situation.
01:41Yeah, I think we want to go somewhere a little more not the Jersey Shore.
01:46Yeah, somewhere with outdoor activities.
01:47Yeah.
01:48Fine. Have a bad time. See what I care.
01:50Like, day drinking on the boardwalk is not an outdoor activity.
01:54How about wherever your finger lands on a spinning globe?
01:57We know the perfect place is out there for us.
01:59Yeah, we'll figure it out.
01:59My advice? Just pick somewhere good enough and make the best of it.
02:03No couple ever agrees 100% on the perfect vacation spot.
02:07Well, this couple can and will.
02:11Sorry, my bike got a flat this morning.
02:13Elijah and I broke up, and my kids won't stop saying cream cheese bagel.
02:16Janine and Gregory are all I have.
02:18No designer labels. Looks like a regular outfit, right?
02:21Wrong. Those joggers? $900.
02:24It's called stealth wealth.
02:26Only another wealthy like myself could clock.
02:28Hey, hon, could I request a guest pass for a Jonathan Pierce, please?
02:32Who the hell is that?
02:34Oh, he's an old student of mine.
02:36Yeah, great kid. Big, big success now,
02:39which I can't help but think maybe I got a little something to do with.
02:41Which field?
02:42Finance. And I knew he'd make it, too.
02:45Kid was always whip smart, real hustler.
02:47What's he drive?
02:48Ava, you have a boyfriend.
02:50Reflex.
02:51Yeah, I'm gonna have him talk to the kids, give him a little motivation.
02:54Well, do you at least know his net worth?
03:00Barbara, talk to your kids.
03:02They're throwing away your class snacks.
03:04What on earth are you talking about, Mr. Johnson?
03:06I'm finding stray raisins and cheese rounds all over the school.
03:09Well, it's not my children.
03:11They love their snacks and always have.
03:14I know what I'm saying.
03:15They're gonna bring in the rats.
03:16And when they bring in the rats, what comes for the rats?
03:19I haven't the slightest idea.
03:21Bigger rats.
03:23Please leave, Mr. Johnson.
03:25Suit yourself.
03:26But no one listens to the bald, black, and beautiful protagonists until it's too late.
03:31Uh-huh.
03:34Hey, Jacob.
03:35We figured out where we're gonna go on vacation.
03:37And you seemed so invested earlier.
03:38We thought you should be the first to know.
03:41Yeah.
03:42Well, we are going to the Outer Banks.
03:46Neither of us has been.
03:47It's on Essence's top ten list for vacation spots for black couples, and it looks really nice.
03:50I think it's genius.
03:51I love the Banks.
03:53Inner, outer, and Elizabeth.
03:54Isn't the Outer Banks where all those white teens murder each other?
03:58No thanks.
03:59Have fun getting murked.
04:00Wait, that's just on the show, right?
04:03Yes, don't listen to her.
04:04Okay.
04:05But just to be safe, if you do see a white teen, maybe cross the street.
04:08I do that anyway.
04:09Yeah.
04:10Right, well, now that that is all settled, it's time for the fun part.
04:13The itinerary.
04:15Ooh.
04:18Melissa, your rich son is here.
04:20Man, I wish.
04:20I am not that lucky.
04:22Hey.
04:23You are that rich, though.
04:24I know a $750 belt when I see one.
04:27Stealth wealth.
04:27It's great to see you, kid.
04:30It's good to see you, too.
04:31Oh, man, everybody, this is Jonathan Pierce.
04:35He was in the first class I ever taught.
04:37And he is in town.
04:38More business.
04:39From New York City, but don't hold that against him.
04:43Say hi.
04:44Hey.
04:44Oh, okay.
04:46Well, you guys have got it good, okay?
04:48Because I would not be where I am today without Ms. Chimente.
04:51I don't get sentimental about much, but a former student coming back and telling me I made a difference,
04:57that's right up there with an Eagles victory.
04:59You know, Jonathan, some of these kids have been talking smack about math.
05:04They think it's about as useful as a fork in a soup convention.
05:07Well, you know, I used to think the same thing.
05:10But things get a lot more interesting when you start using math to supersize your wallet.
05:15$500,000 cash or lunch with Beyonce's husband?
05:18Always take the money.
05:20Jay-Z told me that personally.
05:23Okay, everybody, hey, don't forget your homework.
05:26It could make you rich someday.
05:28All right.
05:28You the real deal.
05:29How long you in town?
05:31A few more days, probably.
05:32Great.
05:33Come back tomorrow.
05:34I want to talk NFTs, ETFs, and WHY.
05:36They're not making me any money.
05:39Yeah, I am just so proud of you.
05:43You're talking to the kids.
05:44You're a businessman.
05:46You changed my life.
05:47You know, not everyone keeps it real with kids, but you stick it to the man.
05:51The system is corrupt, so you got to get yours.
05:54And I stand by that.
05:55So I wanted to ask you a favor.
05:57Yeah, sure.
05:57What's up?
05:58Well, I was hoping that you could write a letter about my character.
06:02Oh, for like a job?
06:03Close.
06:03For a judge.
06:04Oh, for a trial?
06:05Not a trial.
06:06I got convicted.
06:08What happened?
06:09A little crypto coin here, a little NFT there, rug pull, and suddenly people want their money
06:13back.
06:14Anyway, I'm looking at nine to 36 months, so I was hoping that you could help me out with
06:19that.
06:22I found a great vacation rental, and it has a kitchen in case you want to cook.
06:26Oh.
06:27See, I had been looking at hotels, because I thought we can then get room service, you
06:31know, or weird knocks at weird times of the day.
06:33Okay.
06:33Well, what about a bed and breakfast?
06:35Perfect.
06:36Yeah?
06:36Best of both worlds.
06:37Yes.
06:38Hopefully, we can find one close to a spa, so then we can get massages.
06:42Oh, that'll be great after all the hiking.
06:45Or before.
06:47Either or.
06:47Right.
06:48Oh, I also have the perfect route.
06:50If we leave by 4 a.m., we'll get to the Outer Banks by noon.
06:54Wait, were there no more direct flights?
06:56We should have did that first, because those go.
06:58Uh, I meant for the drive.
07:01Oh.
07:02Why would we drive when we could fly?
07:04Well, flying's expensive.
07:06Yes, but it's quicker.
07:07You know, which leaves you more time to relax, which is the point of vacation.
07:10Yeah, it's a, um, it's a really scenic drive, though.
07:14Some people say it's better than the Outer Banks itself.
07:17I-95, it's great.
07:19It'll save us a ton.
07:22I don't really want to drive.
07:24I'm not really trying to fly.
07:29It's Jacob.
07:30Oh.
07:34I'm on the edge of my seat.
07:35Tell me the rest of your perfect plan.
07:37Uh-huh.
07:38We're still, like, we're working on it pretty much right now.
07:41Hold on, why did you answer?
07:45Okay, so if Sally and Tommy want to get from door one to door two as efficiently as possible,
07:50they would take a straight shot.
07:54Less than eight hours, same vehicle, the most logical route.
07:58Hey, I couldn't help but overhear your math lesson, Mr. Eddie.
08:02And funnily enough, I am teaching a sociology lesson with the exact same characters.
08:06Second graders?
08:07Yeah, here are Tommy and Sally smiling and laughing, right?
08:14Having a beautiful and low effort time at the airport.
08:16Until their flight gets delayed, and then all that airport time starts cutting into their vacation time.
08:21Mm-hmm, which is much better than being stuck in traffic for hours in a cramped car.
08:26Well, Sally could throw her feet up on the dashboard.
08:27You know her feet can't reach.
08:30So-
08:31Sorry, not sorry to interrupt, children.
08:33Mr. Johnson, we're in the middle of something.
08:37See that?
08:39I've been stepping on raisins and walking lopsided all day, and it's all your little faults.
08:44Excuse me, but nobody gets to accuse my students of snack crimes without definitive proof.
08:51In fact, I'm going to end this right here.
08:54Children, if you like the snacks that I pass out, please raise your hands.
08:59I love your snacks.
09:01They're yummy.
09:03They're lying.
09:04Mr. Johnson, I have been teaching kindergarten long enough to know when my students are lying and when they are
09:10not.
09:10This is a not.
09:12So please, go look elsewhere because I have a lesson to teach.
09:17Is it on gaslighting?
09:18Because I know a few experts.
09:21Mr. Johnson, thank you, sir.
09:24Thank you so much.
09:26Is Jonathan here yet?
09:27I've got a hot new investment to run by him.
09:29Did you know you could put money into your retirement?
09:32Yes.
09:33I did, too.
09:34It's just that he makes it sound so fresh.
09:36That man is going places.
09:38Yeah.
09:39Prison.
09:39What?
09:40For how long?
09:41Well, it depends.
09:42On me.
09:43He asked me how to write a letter to the judge because they got him on some crypto thing.
09:47But, you know what?
09:48All those finance guys do that kind of thing, right?
09:51Yeah, all the good ones.
09:53Yeah.
09:53So, I believe in second chances.
09:55Hell, I'll give you a third or fourth if my mother makes me.
09:58It's the only reason my sister's still alive.
10:01Anyway, I wrote him the letter, so...
10:03You wrote a letter by yourself?
10:04Humans don't have to do that anymore, Melissa.
10:10I was cleaning up.
10:11I found this trail of raisins.
10:13I'm following to see where it leads.
10:15Probably to a giant rat king, which would be horrifying and exciting.
10:24Oh, my God.
10:28Hey, guys.
10:31What's wrong?
10:33Nothing.
10:34Oh, my God.
10:34It's worse than I thought.
10:36Elijah said nothing right before he said everything.
10:38We're just having some disagreements on the itinerary.
10:41Yeah.
10:42He wants to start a vacation with an eight-hour drive.
10:44Seven hours and 37 minutes.
10:46I found a shortcut.
10:47You know what doesn't need shortcuts?
10:48Air travel.
10:49Okay.
10:50All right.
10:50Well, let's just take a breath.
10:51Um, yeah, it's just a bump in the road.
10:54Yep.
10:55There are no roads when you fly.
11:01You two are the greatest couple known to Jacob and Abbott and probably the world.
11:07Okay?
11:08You can figure this out.
11:09I know you can.
11:10You are Gregory and Janine.
11:13Super couple.
11:14Nothing can stop you.
11:16Okay.
11:16You know what?
11:17Jacob, you are right.
11:18Then you would have been right without holding our hands.
11:20Yes.
11:21Yeah.
11:21We'll figure something out.
11:22We got this.
11:23That's right, you will.
11:24And yes, you do.
11:32But in the end, who helps Jacob?
11:35What?
11:35It's about time you showed up.
11:38Feast your eyes on this.
11:40Oh.
11:43What in the world am I looking at?
11:45Mount Cheesy Raisin.
11:46You remember what I've been saying to you and you've been saying I was wrong?
11:51My students have been lying to me.
11:54And they've been lying to you.
11:59You got to do whatever it takes to get yours.
12:01Because believe me, everybody else is getting theirs.
12:04Yeah, but you could also do good things with your money, right?
12:07Like you could give it to charity or...
12:09Oh, that is a great point, Ms. Chementi.
12:12Kids, charities will go a long way when tax season rolls around.
12:16Doesn't anyone ever come after you?
12:18Oh, yeah, they used to.
12:19All the time.
12:20That's why I do things the right way now.
12:22See, when you're looking for people to invest,
12:25make sure they are vulnerable.
12:27Like desperate, even.
12:29Okay, class dismissed.
12:31Class 35 minutes ago.
12:33Then do your worksheet, okay?
12:34Let's go.
12:34Tick-tock.
12:36Man.
12:37It's just that inspiring the youth inspires me.
12:40That is a great line for the letter if you're still working, by the way.
12:43Anybody need help with their math?
12:45Um, yeah.
12:46What do you got going on over here?
12:52Hey.
12:53Hey.
12:53Okay, so I figured it out.
12:55Oh, my gosh.
12:56Great, because Apple still stopped.
12:57I know you don't want to be in the car for seven hours,
12:59and I respect that, and I hear it, so I have a solution.
13:03Flying.
13:03Atlantic City.
13:04That way, the drive is only an hour and a half.
13:07Oh, but I feel like that's a place that we could still walk to.
13:10Yeah, but it'd be like 32 hours.
13:12Still pretty far.
13:13Okay.
13:14But this option cuts out flying altogether.
13:18Absolutely.
13:21I wanted to go to the Outer Banks.
13:26Ah, there you are.
13:27Gregory told me the problema went adios.
13:29My words, not his.
13:31So, uh, what's the plan, Stan?
13:32Atlantic City.
13:34Problem solved.
13:37Why isn't your beautiful smile reaching your beautiful eyes?
13:39It's great.
13:40You know, I just, I really wanted to go to the Outer Banks,
13:43out of the tri-state area, but, but Atlantic City's great, too.
13:48That's it.
13:49I'm going full millennial, because you two are hashtag couple goals.
13:52Waves got rough, you stayed the course,
13:54and here you are arriving on the coveted Compromise Island,
13:57which Elijah and I can't seem to dock on,
13:59but maybe I could bring the anchor.
14:01You're right.
14:01About what?
14:02I know I just said a lot.
14:03Compromise is the key,
14:05but what if there was a better compromise out there?
14:09Exactly!
14:09Plenty of compromises in the sea.
14:11Let's go talk to Gregory.
14:12Da-da-da!
14:12I will talk to Gregory,
14:14and maybe you should call Elijah?
14:15Aye-aye, Captain.
14:16Yeah.
14:20Wow.
14:21Big things ahead for those kids.
14:23Well, they loved you.
14:24Aw.
14:25So, um, you got any big plans for after you get out?
14:28Any takeaways from this?
14:29Yeah.
14:30Lots of changes, lots of room for improvement.
14:32Okay.
14:32You don't have to worry about that.
14:34I'm worried, because I looked up your case.
14:36Senior citizens, that's who you're scamming?
14:38I'm, come on, you got any remorse?
14:40You got any plans to make it right?
14:42Oh, yeah.
14:42Big time, all that.
14:44Okay, so I, I wrote the letter.
14:47Whew, thank you.
14:49You know, it was no after no
14:51until I was finally like,
14:52hold on a minute.
14:53Who is the ultimate hustler?
14:56Right.
14:56Mr. Bente.
14:57Next time, I'm coming to you first.
14:59Okay, wait.
15:00Next time?
15:01No, you're right.
15:01I'm not gonna get caught again.
15:02No paper trail.
15:03You taught us that back in the day.
15:05I never taught you to punch down.
15:06I taught you, give them a taste of their own medicine,
15:08not make it so Nona can't afford hers.
15:11Okay, look.
15:12I can't sign off on this kid.
15:14No, no, no, no, no.
15:14Hold on.
15:15Wait.
15:16You're right.
15:17No more old people.
15:18I'll find a different group for my next thing.
15:20And I'll let you invest.
15:22I'll give you a great deal, okay?
15:23Whatever it takes.
15:24I just, I need that letter.
15:25Okay, listen.
15:25You were a really bright kid, Jonathan.
15:29But more than that, you had a good heart.
15:31And I know what's still in there.
15:33So that's it?
15:36I guess.
15:44Mr. Johnson, I've spoken to my class,
15:47and there'll be no more snacks on the floor
15:49or shoved into the cabinets.
15:51Nowhere they gonna shove them there.
15:53Nowhere.
15:53I've reminded them that snacks are for eating
15:55and trash is for the garbage.
15:59Although, who knows if I can even tell
16:00if they're being truthful anymore.
16:02And I thought I had them all figured out.
16:04These aren't the kids of yesteryear.
16:06Oh, honey, you got that right.
16:08Between Pokemon, YouTube Kids, and the Zeus Network,
16:11who knows what they're learning on these tablets?
16:13Hmm.
16:13Tell you what, I got your back as long as you got mine.
16:16Deal?
16:17Deal.
16:18Hey.
16:19Hmm?
16:20Before you're shopping,
16:21here's a list of snacks that I've always wanted to try
16:23that the kids might like, too.
16:25Most of them have been discontinued,
16:27and the rest can only be found in North Korea.
16:31I've got it.
16:33Got what?
16:34Okay, so I love how you and I can compromise,
16:37but I thought,
16:38what if there was a compromise
16:39that was a little bit more compromisy?
16:41Uh, okay, I guess I'll be open to that.
16:44I thought that you would, which is why.
16:47I went ahead and purchased our plane tickets
16:49to the Outer Banks.
16:50What?
16:51Yeah, we both wanted to go there.
16:53It's a perfect place.
16:55Money was the issue.
16:56I took care of it.
16:58Uh, no.
16:59The issue was that we shouldn't be spending money
17:01on flights if we don't have to.
17:03It's a waste.
17:04Well, it was my money,
17:06and I don't think it was a waste.
17:08Look, you and I have always had different philosophies
17:10on money, you know?
17:11You like to budget your tokens at Dave & Buster's,
17:14which I think is insane,
17:15but we make it work.
17:16Well, it works because my system yields the best result.
17:19Buying the tickets isn't a compromise.
17:21All right, well, to be fair, your idea...
17:24Atlantic City was a good compromise.
17:26Except only you chose it.
17:29It was a cheap idea.
17:31It'd rather be cheap than be bad with money.
17:33What was...
17:34What was that?
17:35Those are the chirps of my jet-setting lovebirds.
17:41Ready to go?
17:42Ready?
17:42Yeah, yeah.
17:43Let me, um...
17:46Hey.
17:49Hey, did you send that man to the slammer?
17:53Okay, well, I didn't personally,
17:54but I kind of feel like I did.
17:59Come on.
18:00It's not your responsibility.
18:02It's not like you're his mom, his dad, or his teacher.
18:04Okay, you had me to the last one.
18:07He's had plenty of teachers before and after you.
18:10Hell, maybe it was Barbara's fault.
18:12I just feel like he took the wrong idea from my lessons, you know?
18:16No offense, but you're not that influential.
18:18If you were, you'd be getting asked to write a lot more of those statements.
18:21I've written one for every member of my family.
18:23But that's family.
18:25Look, this is how he wants you to feel.
18:27The only thing scammers love more than scamming
18:29is blaming other people for their scams.
18:31He did what he did.
18:33Yeah.
18:35Okay, yeah.
18:36Thank you, Ava.
18:37I appreciate that.
18:39It's what I do.
18:40Now, did he happen to explain any of the inner workers of that scam to you?
18:44I'm not doing this with you.
18:45I need to supplement my income!
18:47I took a pay cut in my relationship!
18:54Look, I think we both said things that we didn't mean earlier.
19:01And I love you.
19:04I love you, too.
19:07Alright.
19:09So what are we gonna do?
19:11I still think we can make Atlantic City work.
19:15Gregory, I don't want to do that.
19:17Okay, well then I guess we're driving to the Outer Banks then.
19:20You're not hearing me.
19:21I am hearing you, but it doesn't change the way I feel about spending money on flights.
19:25It's irresponsible.
19:26You understand you're calling me irresponsible when you say you are.
19:29No, I'm not.
19:29I didn't say anything about you.
19:30I didn't.
19:30That's been the implications of this the whole time.
19:32Janine, I really don't want to fight about this.
19:33You think I want to?
19:34I don't either.
19:38Maybe we just shouldn't go on vacation.
19:41So what?
19:41We're never gonna go on vacation?
19:43I would love to, but if we can't figure out how to travel without pointlessly spending
19:48money, then I don't know.
19:50That's not.
19:50Okay, well that's not a good sign for our relationship.
19:53Then I'm at a loss.
19:54That's not a good sign either.
19:57This shouldn't be this hard.
19:59I mean, if we cannot figure out something like this, then how are we even gonna make it together?
20:04We won't if we can't get on the same page.
20:06Then maybe we should break up.
20:27That was not, uh, I have no idea what just happened.
20:35What are you doing here so early?
20:37I woke up on cloud nine.
20:40Elijah came over last night and we got back together.
20:43Life is good.
20:44Thought I'd come in early and take a gratitude stroll.
20:48Feeling pretty great for myself this morning.
20:50Now that I'm with Miss Carol, trash smells even sweeter.
20:54I'm happy for you, Mr. Johnson.
20:56And hey, if you two ever need advice, don't hesitate to come to me.
20:59Stay out of grown folks' business.
21:00I'm just saying, I've become sort of the relationship expert.
21:03Ask Janine and Gregory.
21:04They're in love as a clam.
21:05All cause of me.
21:08Nope.
21:09That's Janine texting me now.
21:19Damn it, Jack.
21:20Why just put a bag in that?
21:21Damn it, Jack.
21:24Delicious.
21:26No, no, no, no.
21:32Yeah, I'm just going to meet you.
21:32Thank you for coming.
21:33What are you doing?
21:33No.
21:33No.
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