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00:21Sorry, I first started gardening when I moved to Los Angeles because I just seemed like a really good place
00:26to garden and I grew peanuts.
00:28And as the years went by, I would travel around and go see different gardens.
00:33I remember I was in Greece and I was in Crete and I was scooting around and I saw this
00:39old man in his potato patch.
00:42And I just realized then, this guy looks so happy.
00:46And also, I'm just judging for the way he looked, he also looked really wise.
00:51And that hit me then, oh, I want to die in a garden.
00:56The Olive Garden.
00:59I want to, I want to overdose on breadsticks.
01:03Call out the instigator.
01:09Because there's something in the air.
01:14We got to get together sooner or later.
01:18Because the revolution's here.
01:24And you know it's why.
01:32We have got to get it together now.
01:45Today, we're going to talk root vegetables.
01:49Or vegetables.
01:52Or veggies.
01:55I feel uncomfortable saying what's up doc and taking a bite out of the carrot.
01:59I'm not doing that.
02:04What's up doc?
02:05I'm sure that's a trademark thing we can't do.
02:07We're going to talk about food.
02:11Hi.
02:12What's your name?
02:13Mac.
02:13I'm Zach.
02:14Mac.
02:14Have a seat.
02:15Can you sit there?
02:17How's that?
02:18Mac.
02:18Do you eat vegetables?
02:20Broccoli.
02:21You ever eat french fries?
02:23I love french fries.
02:24Now where do those come from?
02:26Potatoes.
02:26That's what we're here to talk about, is a root vegetable.
02:30Nice to meet you Luna.
02:31Do you know who Yulia Shemshinskou is?
02:33No.
02:34She's the ex-leader of the Ukraine and she used to wear headgear like that.
02:39And then she got put in prison.
02:41Clara, I'm Zach.
02:43Are you comfortable?
02:44Yes.
02:44Well good, because I'm not.
02:46I heard you had a joke for me.
02:48What's a tree's favorite drink?
02:50What?
02:51Root beer.
02:52Whoa!
02:54Because root.
02:55Gosh, that is a really good joke for a five and a half.
02:58Can I tell you a joke?
02:59Yes.
02:59You ever seen the Aristocrats movie?
03:01Oh, I've heard of it.
03:02You've heard of it.
03:04I want you to tell me that's a root vegetable or not.
03:08Potato.
03:08It's a root vegetable.
03:10Carrot.
03:11Root vegetable.
03:13Lettuce.
03:14Pray.
03:15Dear Lord, parsnips.
03:19Root vegetable.
03:20Good.
03:20Fennel.
03:21Root vegetable.
03:23Rutabaga.
03:24Root vegetable.
03:25That's right.
03:26Suzanne Vega.
03:27Not a root vegetable.
03:28Do you know what ginger is?
03:30I eat it all my sushi.
03:31How about Marianne?
03:33I never tried Marianne.
03:34Gilligan?
03:35Never heard of it.
03:36The professor?
03:37Kinda.
03:39What's your favorite movie?
03:41Elsa.
03:41Is she from Frozen?
03:42Yeah.
03:43And she sings those songs?
03:44Let it go.
03:45Let it go.
03:46Let it go.
03:48That's mine.
03:49Don't ever touch it again.
03:51Let it go.
03:54But we can't get the rights to the real song, so.
03:57Where do potatoes grow?
03:58Do you have any idea?
03:59In the dirt.
04:00And you know how you get a potato plant going?
04:02It's the easiest thing in the world.
04:04Go home.
04:05Mm-hmm.
04:05Ask for a potato.
04:07Mm-hmm.
04:07Put it in your window.
04:09And let the potatoes sprout out a little bit.
04:12Cut it in half.
04:12And throw it in the grounds.
04:14And that will give you about 20 potatoes.
04:18Are you fascinated by that?
04:20Yeah.
04:20Are you sure you're fascinated by it?
04:22Mm-hmm.
04:23100% sure?
04:24Mm-hmm.
04:25Can you look at me and go, that's fascinating?
04:28That's fascinating.
04:30Did you know that the orange carrot was designed by the Dutch to be orange?
04:35And orange is also the official color of my liver.
04:40From all the drinking.
04:42Hmm.
04:43Well, Clara, let's add...
04:47What's happening?
04:49Oh, look at these animals.
04:52I mean, do you want to talk about vegetables?
04:54Yes.
04:55Do you like carrots?
04:56Yes.
04:57Any other root vegetables you want to talk about?
04:59I don't like potatoes.
05:00Mashed potatoes?
05:01No.
05:02You don't like french fries?
05:03I like french fries.
05:04What about hash browns?
05:06No.
05:07How about potato cakes?
05:08Eh.
05:09How about crab cakes?
05:11Disgusting.
05:12Urinal cakes?
05:13I have no idea what the result.
05:14Well, I hope you never learn.
05:16Knock, knock.
05:17Who's there?
05:17Interrupting cow.
05:19Interrupting...
05:19No!
05:22Knock, knock.
05:23Who's there?
05:23Benjamin Netanyahu.
05:25Benjamin Netanyahu!
05:27Finally.
05:28Let us know for in your way, okay?
05:33Does anybody have a taser?
05:34No.
05:47Woo-hoo!
05:54Can you say action?
05:57Action.
05:59Hi.
06:00We're at Amara Farms.
06:01We're gonna talk to root vegetable specialist, Arzina.
06:07Can I stop smiling?
06:09You won normal.
06:11That was normal.
06:12That's my real personality.
06:13Once you get to know me, I'm a really great guy.
06:26Arzina.
06:27Hi.
06:28How are you?
06:29Good.
06:29How are you?
06:30Zach.
06:30Nice to meet you, Zach.
06:31Nice to meet you.
06:32So what is this place?
06:33Well, this is Amara Farm.
06:34We grow a number of different types of vegetables.
06:37Carrots being one of them.
06:38It's one of the fan favorites.
06:40Wow, those are beautiful.
06:42No, it doesn't, the rubber bands don't grow.
06:46Is that a dumb question?
06:47No, that's, that's, yeah, yeah.
06:48Yeah, Kev.
06:50Man, look at this place.
06:53Oh, my God.
06:58We eat the root of a carrot.
07:00Yeah.
07:00But we do not, obviously, eat the root of a tomato plant.
07:04No.
07:05Why?
07:05Yeah.
07:05What's the difference?
07:06Some plants, they put all their energy and their sugars into a fruit.
07:10Some of them make nice, big, thick stems, like asparagus or celery.
07:16But root vegetables are putting all of their energy into the root part,
07:20where all the carbohydrates and the sugars are stored.
07:23So all the sugars are going there.
07:24The sugars are going there.
07:25The flavor, the taste.
07:25Yeah.
07:27So we're here in a cleared bed.
07:29The area's been weeded, and we're going to be planting carrots.
07:33So we're just basically stepping...
07:35Put it as deep as you can.
07:36Yeah, yeah, you got it, man.
07:38You want a job?
07:39If you really want me to come volunteer, I would do it,
07:41because I just love learning all this stuff.
07:43Nice.
07:44Yeah, these are tiny.
07:45And they're a bit of a princess.
07:46So try and space them at least, you know, an inch.
07:51It's really important not to bury carrot seed too deep.
07:56Barely, just kind of dusting it a little bit.
07:58Barely, just kind of dusting it a little bit.
07:58Very, very lightly.
07:59Barely, I actually walk on the row so that you've got good contact between the soil and the seed.
08:07How did...
08:07What's the DUI test?
08:09And you have to do the alphabet backwards?
08:12I can't say that I've had to do it.
08:14Yeah, I haven't...
08:15I've never done one, thank God.
08:16Yeah.
08:16I usually would just crash.
08:19As soon as carrot seed is planted, we put floating row cover over the carrots.
08:25This feels like...
08:26It'd be a nice underwear.
08:28The way it feels.
08:29Oh, yeah?
08:29If I can't find it, could I use...
08:31Most garden centers...
08:32Grandma's pantyhose?
08:32You could use sheer curtains.
08:35Grandma's pantyhose probably not.
08:37You know, something...
08:37She was a big lady.
08:40Oh, these are gorgeous and seem ready.
08:43You can kind of get a sense from the top.
08:46The good size is about an inch in diameter.
08:49So, look at that.
08:50Voila!
08:51Yay!
08:52I don't even eat the dirt.
08:54It's all organic, so there's nothing...
08:56It's so much better that way, right out.
08:58This is the best carrot I've ever had.
09:00It really is.
09:01Yeah, they're super sweet.
09:03Should we go talk potatoes?
09:04Let's do it.
09:05Let's do it.
09:08Again, you know, you want a nice, clear bed.
09:10Potatoes are a lot more forgiving than carrots,
09:12so your soil doesn't have to be so fine and, you know, well-prepared.
09:17I'm really proud of my soil, because I've been working.
09:20I've been conditioning it on my own.
09:21This is why I'm glad I'm not single,
09:23because this is the kind of thing I would tell a woman in a bar.
09:26I take a chicken poop out of the yard.
09:28Yeah.
09:29I dry it in the sun, and then I put it in a coffee filter.
09:32Yeah.
09:32And then I make...that's how I make my own manure.
09:34Would you like to meet my parents?
09:37Okay.
09:38So you first want to start out with seed potato,
09:41which is smaller versions of the potato itself.
09:44You leave it out for about three or four days,
09:46so that it starts to sprout.
09:48And that's about the depth.
09:49You don't actually have to go down too, too deep.
09:51Yeah.
09:51And then you want to put in your potato.
09:54I like to space my potatoes a minimum of two feet apart.
09:58And you just cover it up?
09:59Cover it up.
09:59Now, that depth will work.
10:01That depth will work.
10:02Potatoes really don't need much else.
10:04They're so hardy.
10:05Yeah, they are.
10:06It can withstand quite colder soil,
10:08and it'll just come up and go gangbusters.
10:10Yeah.
10:11Yeah.
10:13Oh, that feels good.
10:15So this is where we actually had potatoes last year,
10:18and I'm experimenting with some crossed potatoes.
10:21They were crossed sexually,
10:23so I have no idea what kind of potato is...
10:26This is a family show.
10:28Yeah.
10:28We still got to talk about the birds and the bees.
10:30You know, plants have to do these things, too.
10:33By the way, the birds and the bees, it's so complicated.
10:35If you tell a child,
10:36I'm going to teach you about the birds and bees later,
10:38I thought birds and bees would marry each other
10:40and then have baby freak babies.
10:42No.
10:43Anyway, I got off track.
10:44Go ahead.
10:45So I don't know what's under here.
10:47Do you want to place a bed on the color?
10:49Dun, dun, dun.
10:49I got 15 on purple.
10:52Purple? Okay.
10:53Right.
10:53That's good.
10:54There you go.
10:56It's pretty easy to know when the potatoes are ready.
10:58Potatoes will give you some signals.
11:00As they start to get older,
11:01the leaves will start to yellow,
11:04and they'll start to die back,
11:05and that's the sign that your potatoes are mature,
11:08and it's time to pull them up.
11:10Okay.
11:10There you go.
11:11And you said...
11:1215 on purple.
11:13Purple?
11:13Okay.
11:14Let's see what we got here.
11:16What?
11:16I have never seen a potato like this,
11:19so I would call that a pink fingerling.
11:21I don't know about purple.
11:23Yeah.
11:24It's a nice color here.
11:25Yeah, it's beautiful.
11:26You get to keep the 15 bucks.
11:29We do have one last patch,
11:31which I know is going to be a very different color potato,
11:33because I know...
11:34No, no, no.
11:34Don't try to get 15 more dollars out of me.
11:37But if it's worth a bet, I might do it.
11:39I'm excited.
11:40Double or nothing.
11:41Okay.
11:43Yeah.
11:43I'm going to go blue.
11:45I'm out $30.
11:47Look at that.
11:48Perfect.
11:48Yeah.
11:49So this is called a nootka potato.
11:52It's actually more closely related
11:54to the potatoes grown in South America
11:56than our current modern potato.
11:57And historically, this is the potato
11:59that's been grown here for over 200 years.
12:02Oh, look at that.
12:02See, we porked that one bite.
12:04I'm dead.
12:05I'm dead.
12:09All right, should we go wash these off?
12:10Let's do it.
12:11Okay, right here on this?
12:13Yes.
12:13Look how beautiful these treasures are.
12:18Go for it, please.
12:19I don't think I've really done this.
12:23What's happening?
12:25That's it.
12:26And just let go.
12:27It'll eventually turn off by itself.
12:29Well, how long does it take?
12:30I don't know.
12:31I have an outro to do.
12:36Arzina, thank you so much for having us.
12:38You're welcome.
12:38This has been a real treat and very educational.
12:41It was a hoot.
12:42Okay.
12:43Can I stay here tonight?
12:44Yeah.
12:44Oh, okay, wonderful.
12:46Dinner's on.
12:46Is it?
12:47What are we having?
12:48Potatoes and carrots.
12:49No thanks.
12:50After all that, no thanks.
12:53I'm going to go to a drive-thru.
12:54This is all for the camera.
13:13Ancient Greeks and Romans used beets, beets, that's right, beets, to treat a wide range of elements such as headaches,
13:21constipation, toothaches, wounds, and even skin problems.
13:25For constipation, I mean, I assume they would just simply insert a beet into their rectum.
13:33If anybody wants to fact check that.
13:40Hi, everybody.
13:42Hi.
13:43My name is Dr. Galifianakis.
13:46Dr. Galifianakis.
13:47Dr. Galifianakis.
13:47Dr. Galifianakis.
13:48Just... just... Professor Galifianakis is fine.
13:51What is this?
13:52Sweet potato.
13:53Does this look like anything else besides a potato?
13:56Jeans?
13:56It looks like a chicken wing.
13:58It looks like my Aunt Louise's gout, is what it looks like.
14:01Is this a root vegetable?
14:02Yes.
14:03What is it?
14:03Radishes.
14:04Would you like to have one?
14:05I've never had one.
14:06Here.
14:06They can be a little strong.
14:07Just nibble on it.
14:09What do you think?
14:10It kind of tastes like a basement.
14:12What do you think this looks like?
14:13Grape.
14:14I was going to say skin tags under my armpits.
14:16It looks like mini balls.
14:20Like tiny balls or a lot of balls?
14:23A lot of balls.
14:27You're exactly right.
14:28It does.
14:28Does this look like anything or anyone?
14:31A giraffe with a giant lump on its belly.
14:33I'm a human with a giant lump on my belly.
14:38Okay.
14:39Now, does this look like anybody to you?
14:41Ryan Reynolds?
14:42Ryan Reynolds, definitely.
14:43Doesn't it look like him?
14:44I thought the same thing.
14:45Just kind of bland and plain.
14:48Nothing going on.
14:49Okay, garlic.
14:50What does this look like to you?
14:51It looks like Lily.
14:52It looks like Lily.
14:54How dare you?
14:56Helen.
14:57In the middle of a garden show.
14:59It does not look like me.
15:00Who likes garlic?
15:01I hate garlic so much.
15:03I love garlic.
15:03I hate garlic.
15:04You know what garlic's really good for?
15:06Farting.
15:09Thanks, Marcus.
15:11We've been working on that joke for years.
15:13Finally paid off.
15:18Hey, darling.
15:20Hey.
15:21It's Zach.
15:23Yeah.
15:27Listen, I lost our last $30 on potato gambling.
15:32I know.
15:33I've got a problem.
15:35Beatrice, can I just...
15:40Beatrice?
15:43Beatrice?
15:44Hello?
15:46Hello?
15:51The future's agrarian, I guess.
15:55The future's agrarian, I guess.
15:56The future's agrarian, I guess.
15:56The future's agrarian, I guess.
15:57The future's agrarian, I guess.
15:57The future's agrarian, I guess.
15:57The future's agrarian, I guess.
15:58The future's agrarian, I guess.
16:00The future's agrarian, I guess.
16:00The future's agrarian, I guess.
16:00The future's agrarian, I guess.
16:01The future's agrarian, I guess.
16:02The future's agrarian, I guess.
16:03The future's agrarian, I guess.
16:06You
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