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00:01Come on, Malcolm, it's gonna be a blast.
00:03It's fine, Marty.
00:05I am happy to be kicking off our bachelor party at a theme park.
00:08Well, it is not a theme park.
00:11The Camelot Experience is a theme restaurant.
00:14Set in the glory days of the reign of King Arthur,
00:18where gallantry and magic were the order of the day.
00:22You know, I thought I was gonna regret not being able to go.
00:26Daddy, look, look, listen, okay?
00:28This is perfect for a bachelor party.
00:32The ale wenches,
00:34their bosoms are practically bursting out of their bodices.
00:42Wow, Marty, you mean I get to see the top of boobs?
00:45You know, if you went to the jiggle hut on Slauson,
00:48you'd get to see the whole thing.
00:50Plus, they have some of those lemon pepper wings.
00:54I know you're not talking about the jiggle hut to my babies.
00:58Marty brought it up.
00:59Well, no, Malcolm's been there.
01:00Well, I ain't never been to the jiggle hut.
01:03I can't believe you're dog-sitting for Mercedes.
01:06This is your life now.
01:10Hey, everyone.
01:11Hey, girl.
01:12Hi, baby.
01:13Uh, thank you guys so much for dog-sitting, Coco.
01:15Oh, no, our pleasure.
01:16We'd love to.
01:18Where is Coco?
01:19Oh, right here.
01:20Oh.
01:23That's it?
01:24That's the whole dog?
01:26Aw, she's adorable.
01:29That's not a dog.
01:30That's a hamster that made a witch.
01:33Oh, hey, everybody.
01:34Dave, say hi to Coco.
01:36Oh, hey, Coco.
01:37Yeah, my folks are dog-sitting while we go on our bachelor and bachelorette parties.
01:42Ooh.
01:42Uh, speaking of bad news, I'm not going to be able to make your bachelor party.
01:47Uh, Dave, you weren't invited.
01:50If you remember Marty's last bachelor party, you had two jello shots and turned into Dave the douche.
01:57It wasn't that bad.
01:59No, you were.
01:59It was a nightmare.
02:00I can't believe you did that.
02:01Okay, well, I have to be on call for my telehealth gig anyway, so I'm not going to be able
02:06to make it.
02:07Don't beg me.
02:08Yeah, you got it.
02:09Okay, bye, Dave.
02:09I'm going to be a dream of doing this.
02:10Yeah, I don't know.
02:12So, Marty, you got a medieval cape picked out for your night at Camelot?
02:16Oh, well, I know you are making fun of me, but yes, yes, I do.
02:24I'm glad you guys are having a nice, clean bachelor party.
02:27Oh, I bet you are.
02:28You know Garnett, her ex-husband?
02:30His bachelor party?
02:31Whoa!
02:33Yep.
02:34Oh, they had to blur out everything.
02:39And so, all this stuff is for one little dog?
02:42Yeah, and if she doesn't sleep on her memory foam mattress, she wakes up cranky.
02:46Yeah.
02:47That's what happens when you buy a pure breed.
02:50Well, in my day, you didn't buy a dog.
02:53You got a dog.
02:56Like Bingo.
02:57He was chasing me home from school one day.
02:59He was trying to bite me, and I was running, and I got caught in the corner.
03:02And then he was looking at me, and I was looking at him, and I had a little piece of
03:05slim
03:05gel, and I threw it at him.
03:08And he ate it.
03:10Boom.
03:11I had a dog.
03:14Welcome to the block.
03:15Welcome to the neighborhood.
03:16Welcome to the hood.
03:22Oh, hell no.
03:25How many times I got to tell you, you can sleep in your orthopedic bed, the basket, or
03:29your little Malibu dream house, but the chair is mine.
03:34Shh.
03:35Go on, now.
03:37What part of go on now don't you understand?
03:40Yeah, but she's probably exhausted.
03:43I had to flush out her ears with antifungal foam.
03:46She fought me tooth and nail.
03:48And trust me, that little dog is a lot stronger than she looks.
03:52Dog?
03:52That's not a dog.
03:53Bingo was a dog.
03:57There's one time a raccoon tried to drag my little brother into the woods, right?
04:03And Bingo, Bingo said, right on my watch.
04:06Not on my watch.
04:10He said that, did he?
04:11Yeah.
04:12And then he chased that raccoon up a hundred foot pine tree all the way to the top.
04:21There's no way he did that.
04:23Look, the point is, is that that dog saved Curtis's life.
04:30Okay.
04:31This dog, well, she wears a purple vest so she don't get cold.
04:39What'd I tell you about my chair?
04:41Huh?
04:41What'd I say about my chair?
04:42You don't want to go here, okay?
04:46Yeah, that's where you belong.
04:51Oh.
04:52Okay, okay.
04:55So this what you do?
04:56You just send people laps?
04:58I don't think so.
05:03Mailman?
05:09Okay.
05:10Okay, barking at the mailman.
05:13I like that.
05:15That's big dog energy right there.
05:19All right, I think we're all good for tomorrow.
05:22I mean, the sprint event will be here at 6, dinner's at 6.30, go-kart tracks at 9.
05:29The only thing left to do is hire the strippers.
05:32What strippers?
05:33The ones you asked for.
05:35No, we didn't ask for strippers.
05:37In fact, we explicitly said no strippers.
05:39Well, somebody asked for them.
05:42Was it you, Trey?
05:45It was somebody.
05:46Look, regardless, it's better to have strippers and not need them than to need strippers and
05:51not have them.
05:54No strippers.
05:57Got it.
05:58Strippers, TBD.
06:01Anyway, I am so psyched for this party.
06:03It's going to be way better than my last bachelor party.
06:06Are you kidding?
06:06That party was dope.
06:08We had steaks, cigars, a party bus.
06:10Man, that's how you send your man off to get married.
06:13Except I called off the wedding at the end of the night.
06:17For you, it was horrible.
06:18For me, top five.
06:22This time is totally different, okay?
06:24Courtney and I have a daughter together.
06:26We live together.
06:27We know how compatible we are.
06:29Well, Nisi was just too impulsive.
06:31Like, we'd only really known each other for a few months.
06:32Yeah, you know what?
06:33There's no way you can get to know a person that fast.
06:36Uh, well, well, uh, you know, it, uh, it does depend on the person.
06:41Well, yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:41I'm not talking about you.
06:42I mean, a few months is plenty for you and Mercedes.
06:44I mean, you guys are totally different.
06:46Yep, very, very different.
06:48Yeah, you're damn right.
06:49We, we different.
06:50Yeah, right.
06:51Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:52Uh, yeah.
06:53Uh, yeah.
06:54Uh, uh, how?
06:58You like that cheese?
07:00You get you a little piece of cheese.
07:02You like that cheese, don't you?
07:04You know what's better than cheese?
07:07Belly rubs.
07:10Oh, I love that belly.
07:11Oh, I like that belly.
07:12You like that belly.
07:13Oh, I'll go to the scram, mutt.
07:14Yeah.
07:16Yeah.
07:17What'd I tell you about my chair?
07:20Uh-huh.
07:21Oh, oh, you're on dog duty.
07:23I'm going to the barbershop.
07:24Oh, no, no, no.
07:25Jimmy and I are getting mani-pedis.
07:27You'll have to take her with you.
07:29I can't go into that barbershop with Ratatouille.
07:33Hey, Tina, guess what?
07:35Dave has very generously offered to drive us to the salon
07:39and sit with us while we get our nails done.
07:42Oh, yeah, that's not going to work for me.
07:45Dave just needs to get out of the house.
07:46He's been sitting in front of his laptop all day.
07:48This job is killing me.
07:49I spent the last six hours just shoveling people through the system.
07:52You know, I thought I was going to get a chance
07:53to really use my therapy skills.
07:55It's like they're keeping Michael Jordan on the bench.
08:00Well, Calvin can take him to the barbershop.
08:02Oh, thank you.
08:03What did I do?
08:06I got the dog and Dave.
08:12How come Butler getting married?
08:14I never thought I'd see the date.
08:15Well, I mean, I always knew I would get married someday.
08:18That happened so fast.
08:19Not so fast.
08:21I mean, three months.
08:23Do you even know her last name?
08:26Yes, I know her last name.
08:28Do you know her middle name?
08:30Obviously.
08:32He's Googling it.
08:33Oh, no, no, no.
08:34Go Googling it.
08:35Get your eyes on my hair, please.
08:37Hey, hey, hey.
08:40Oh, my God.
08:42Calvin's got a purse dog.
08:45This is not a purse.
08:47Daddy, it kind of looks like a purse.
08:49Oh, is a suitcase a purse?
08:50Is a bag full of guns a purse?
08:54Calvin, ignore them.
08:56Your man card is fully intact.
08:59There is nothing unmanly about a poodle in a purse.
09:03Okay, Dave, would you stop helping, please?
09:06I can't help it.
09:08It's what I do.
09:08You know, we therapists have a term for what they're doing.
09:10It's called projection, and it's born of insecurity.
09:14That felt good.
09:16Jordan for three.
09:18Okay, everybody, give my pops a break, all right?
09:21That's not his dog.
09:22It's my fiancée's.
09:24Oh, yeah.
09:25What's the dog's name?
09:27Um, damn it, I knew this.
09:30The dog's name is Coco.
09:31Coco.
09:32Coco.
09:35It's okay to be upset, Calvin.
09:37Those guys found a vulnerability in you,
09:39and they zeroed in on it.
09:41You know, that's what bullies do.
09:43I know what bullies do.
09:44I am the bully.
09:46But not to sweet little doggies.
09:49No, no, no.
09:51You know what I think?
09:52I don't think this is about you being humiliated at the barbershop.
09:55I think you have formed an attachment to this dog,
09:59and I think we should unpack that.
10:01Absolutely not.
10:04No one lets me unpack anything anymore.
10:08I'll get it.
10:12Hey, is this the butler residence?
10:15We're actually in the middle of something right now.
10:17Uh, no, we're not.
10:19Dave, do you not know who this is?
10:21That's Garnett Winters.
10:23Three-time pro bowler.
10:24Holds all the records and receptions.
10:27Aren't you also on Trophy Divas?
10:28Yeah.
10:28You're a Mercedes ex-husband.
10:30That I am.
10:31Oh.
10:32Well, if you're here to fight Malcolm,
10:34just know it's not gonna be one-on-one.
10:36We jumping in.
10:39Oh, no.
10:40Oh, I have to fight both of you guys?
10:43Don't worry, man.
10:43Me and Malcolm are cool.
10:45Garnett Winters is a lover, not a fighter.
10:47Huh?
10:48Well, that's good to know.
10:50So, um, what can Calvin Butler do for Garnett Winters?
10:54You can give me my dog back.
10:56Oh, Calvin Butler can't do that.
11:02I'm sorry.
11:03Mercedes didn't tell you I might come by to pick up Coco?
11:05She did not.
11:08Typical.
11:08Huh?
11:09Let's go, Coco.
11:10Go, Coco.
11:10Yeah, we still have time to make our swim class.
11:14You know, she won't be getting in any pool today.
11:17I just did her hair.
11:20Garnett, Calvin has formed an unusual bond with Coco.
11:24Oh.
11:24We were about to start unpacking it.
11:26The hell we were.
11:29Uh, whose car is that?
11:31I mean, what kind of nut job buys an electric Rolls Royce?
11:36The rich, handsome, environmentally conscious kind.
11:39Hey, how you doing?
11:40I'm Garnett.
11:41Oh, we, we, we, we, we, we know who you are.
11:46We hate you.
11:48Well, he's here to take Coco.
11:51What?
11:51Oh, no.
11:52Uh-uh.
11:52No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
11:54That is not going to work.
11:55I'm sorry, this is my dog.
11:57How is this not going to work?
11:59We don't trust you.
12:00And we don't trust a man who pushes little Andy Cohen off a stand-up paddleboard.
12:06Nobody pushes Andy Cohen off a stand-up paddleboard.
12:09Mercedes trusted us with her dog.
12:12That's right.
12:13And we're not giving Coco to anyone without her say-so.
12:17Nope.
12:17And maybe not even then.
12:20Darn it.
12:21Calvin has fallen in love with the dog.
12:23Oh.
12:24Oh, my God.
12:25Oh, my God.
12:25And don't be my dog, B.
12:27Don't be my dog, B.
12:27Don't be my dog.
12:28I love the dog.
12:29It's my dog.
12:30Mine, not yours.
12:31I don't think y'all understand how lonely a 12-bedroom penthouse feels when you're sitting
12:38there by yourself.
12:39Ever since Mercedes took away my visitation rights, my life has been empty.
12:43I miss the sound of the ticky, ticky, ticky little feet on my custom Italian marble floor.
12:52You know what?
12:54Garnett, you let it out.
12:57The man can't have everything.
12:59Custom Italian marble floors, electric Rolls Royce.
13:03I'm keeping the dog.
13:10Malcolm?
13:11Oh, hey, Marty.
13:14What's up?
13:16Nothing, man.
13:16I'm just, um, I'm playing Connect Four.
13:19Oh, okay.
13:20Well, that is a perfectly reasonable thing to do in the middle of your bachelor party.
13:29There we are, enjoying the Camelot experience, reveling in Joust, eating our Excaliburgers,
13:36and I turn around and you are gone.
13:38I just needed a minute, Marty.
13:40You've been gone for an hour.
13:43I had a panic attack.
13:45Why?
13:46Look, man, at your bachelor party, not this one, the other one, when did you know it wasn't
13:52going to work out?
13:55Wait, you think you and Mercedes are like me and Nisi?
13:58That's just it, Marty.
13:59I don't know.
14:00You know, just like I don't know her middle name, or her favorite color, or the name of
14:04her first pet.
14:05You're trying to marry the girl and steal her identity.
14:10I'm just saying, Marty.
14:11Am I being reckless?
14:13You know, man, was I so determined to prove that I could commit to somebody that I just,
14:18I don't know, I just rushed into this.
14:24I lost again.
14:27And won.
14:28You are playing against yourself.
14:30You also won.
14:33Just like you are winning with Mercedes.
14:37Look, man, can I give you some tough love?
14:39Yeah.
14:40Okay, come on.
14:45Malcolm, you have been running from serious relationships for years.
14:49Now, some of them, thank God.
14:50I mean, Katrina.
14:51Whoa, don't say her name.
14:52Yeah, I still got her blocked on socials.
14:54But now you've found something real.
14:58Like, really real.
15:00And I don't want to see you running again.
15:04You are never, ever going to do better than Mercedes.
15:09Not if you live to be 300.
15:11She's smart.
15:12She's beautiful.
15:13And she's so nice, you can't even tell that she is filthy rich.
15:20And she loves you.
15:25I love her.
15:27And yeah, and move fast, man.
15:29But, you know, when you know, you know.
15:31And you know.
15:32Oh, I know I know.
15:33I know you know you know.
15:34Ah!
15:37Oh, my God.
15:40Claudette!
15:40Yes!
15:41Excuse me?
15:43That's Mercedes' middle name, Claudette, okay?
15:45Look, all the guys at the barbershop can suck it.
15:50Yes, they can.
15:51Yeah.
15:51Now, will you please stop playing connect forward with yourself and marry that girl before she comes to her senses?
15:59Look, Marty, thank you.
16:01Man, I couldn't ask for a better brother.
16:04That's what brothers are for.
16:06I love you, man.
16:11I don't know.
16:13Maybe Mercedes and I were never really happy.
16:16Garnett, this is good.
16:17We're really starting to unpack this.
16:19Because other people could learn from your willingness to be vulnerable.
16:22I don't know who you're talking about, but they are not here.
16:27Hey, why is there an electric rolls out the front?
16:30Because you took the McLaren in the divorce?
16:34Oh, my God.
16:35What is he doing here?
16:36Do not give him the dog.
16:39Trust me.
16:39He's not getting the dog.
16:41Because we're your real friends, Mercedes.
16:46Okay.
16:47Um, why are you back so early?
16:48Ugh, glamping was a terrible idea.
16:51There were so many bats.
16:52Sienna got drunk and fell on a cactus.
16:54Aurelia got stung by a scorpion in her brand new boobs.
17:00I'm going to have to start watching this show.
17:03Um, we had a custody agreement, Garnett.
17:06We were going to share Coco, and then you went and brought her to Aruba on my week.
17:09She had fun, and I got her a cute little snorkel.
17:14Guys, if I may, can we please show Garnett some grace here?
17:20Does he have issues?
17:21Yes.
17:21Does he manipulate people with his charm and million-dollar smile?
17:25Oh, stop it.
17:27It is, in short.
17:29Yes, but he is feeling grief.
17:33He lost a companion that showed him love, and he's committed to working on himself.
17:38Yes, I am.
17:39I really am.
17:44Ah, man, I hate to do this, but I agree with Dave.
17:50I mean, a sweet little dog like this can feel holes you didn't even know you had.
17:56Bringo?
17:58Bringo was his name-o.
18:03He was the best damn dog I ever met, you know?
18:06And I didn't know how much I was missing that feeling until I met Coco here.
18:12Well, she is a special dog.
18:14Yeah.
18:15She's the only thing I've ever truly loved.
18:17Gee, thanks.
18:20You know, one time, this big guy tried to, uh, steal my bike, right?
18:24And Bingo was not having any of that, no, no, he bit off his pinky, and kept it in his
18:30mouth
18:30all the way home.
18:32And Bingo was so proud, man.
18:34He was proud.
18:36He was like, all right.
18:36Oh, oh, oh, oh.
18:40Oh.
18:40Is Bingo real?
18:42I have no idea.
18:43Get to your point now.
18:45Yeah.
18:45Yeah, yeah.
18:46Well, I mean, well, the point is, is that even the manliest man can benefit from having a little
18:52buddy just like this, especially if he's feeling alone.
18:58Ugh, I guess we can try shared custody again.
19:02Thank you, Mercedes.
19:04Dave, thank you so much.
19:06Well, thank you for allowing me to use my gift, Jordan with the buzzer beater.
19:11Swish.
19:13Okay, let's go, go, go.
19:15Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
19:16Give me a minute.
19:17You're right, my bad.
19:23You know, Coco, we had a special time.
19:28So don't be sad.
19:30You know, be happy that we get this.
19:36Really?
19:38So I guess all them belly rubs didn't mean a damn thing.
19:44So y'all think because I got a little dog, I'm not tough?
19:47I got blindsided by Ray Lewis across the middle.
19:53Yeah, you know, I remember that game.
19:54I lost my parlay when you fumbled.
19:57It was prime Ray Lewis.
19:59Yeah, yeah.
19:59Listen, if that would have happened to me, I would have walked straight off the field and
20:02then to my car.
20:03Oh.
20:04And give yourself some credit.
20:06The league has nothing on those trophy divas.
20:08You've never seen somebody in the NFL get hit with a stiletto.
20:11You know, I once knew the toughest dog in the whole damn world.
20:18Oh, yeah.
20:20Oh, bingo.
20:22And Noah once ate a whole beehive.
20:27That's impossible.
20:29And then when he burped, hornets came out.
20:32Pop, pop, pop.
20:33It's not the same thing.
20:34Hornets came out of the beehive.
20:35You in there?
20:36You just said, why don't you do that?
20:39You shouldn't have nobody saw.
20:40And then a terrestrial came out.
20:41And we first kept you to theberoles!
20:46And then a terrestrial came out!
20:47Go, go, get up!
20:49Go, go, go, go, go, are you!
20:51Go, go, go, go, get up!
21:01Go, go, go!
21:01Go, go, go!
21:05Go, go!
21:06Go, go!
21:09Go, go, go!
21:10Go, go, go, go, go, go.
21:11And then the lastis would've happened to just that homeless guy in the early
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