- 2 days ago
The Burbs S01E01 [Full Movie] [Free Online HD]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:28Transcription by CastingWords
00:58Transcription by CastingWords
01:28Transcription by CastingWords
01:30Oh God, I don't want to go back to work.
01:32You and Mars aren't going to have too much fun without me, are you?
01:34My maternity leave is going to be spent watching a window like Bravo,
01:38learning the choreography.
01:44I don't like that one bit.
01:50Stroll's over.
01:56Are you sure that house is empty?
01:58Yeah, right.
03:37Yeah, I forgot.
03:39Nice to see you back on Asheville Place.
03:45Why you don't, you don't remember me?
03:50Sorry.
03:51Never been good at remembering faces.
03:53That's all right.
03:54Yeah, I always liked this street.
03:56You hear the thing about cul-de-sacs?
03:59There's only one way out!
04:03Have a great day, Robert.
04:05Okay.
04:07Bye now.
04:22You okay?
04:25The things I do for you.
04:31Like moving here.
04:42Do you want me to stay?
04:44I can call Nina, tell her I need another week.
04:47What are we watching?
04:49How long has that house been empty?
04:5120 years.
04:52Give or take.
04:54You don't think that's weird?
04:56Not really.
04:57I'm sure they've got a good reason for hanging on to it.
04:58So there's a they.
04:59Who's the they?
05:00You know, whoever owns it.
05:02Okay, shrug night.
05:04So you never thought about it?
05:06No, not really.
05:07Whatever.
05:08I know you've got to get to work.
05:09Naveen and I are catching the same train.
05:11The train pooling, he's calling it.
05:12But say the word and I'll stay.
05:13No, no, no.
05:14Got to rip the band-aid off some way, somehow.
05:16It'll be me, myself, and I.
05:18And Miles.
05:19Together, alone for the first time.
05:20No friends or family nearby,
05:22but that's why it's good.
05:24Yeah, because I'm not worried at all.
05:27You're giving me some very mixed signals here.
05:29I know.
05:31Get on the train.
05:32I love you so much.
05:33Mm-hmm.
05:33I love you too.
05:34I love you too, little man.
05:35And you can call me anytime, okay?
05:37I'm the guy who saved in your phone as White Bob
05:39with the black thumbs-up emoji.
05:41And it'll never change.
05:44Try to get out of the house today.
05:54Can I help you?
05:57All right.
05:59I'm sorry?
06:03Should he be listening to this?
06:05Uh, well, he can't understand the words.
06:09Babies absorb these things.
06:12Right.
06:13Oh.
06:15Oh.
06:16You must be Rob Fisher's wife.
06:19Oh.
06:20I heard you were, uh, uh, back here to live.
06:26Well, this is fabulous.
06:27I was wondering when I would get to meet you.
06:31I don't get out much.
06:33I'm Lynn Gardner.
06:34I'm Samira, and that's Miles.
06:37Aw.
06:38He looks just like his mama.
06:41Samira.
06:42Such a pretty name.
06:44Is it African?
06:46Yes.
06:47Fascinating.
06:48I just live catty-corner if you ever need anything.
06:52And you must come to Wine Night.
06:54It's just a bunch of friendly neighbors
06:57dabbing and guzzling on my porch,
06:59and they are dying to meet you.
07:01I'm breastfeeding, unfortunately.
07:03Oh.
07:04Pump and dump, my darling.
07:07Welcome to Ashfield Place.
07:09Hmm.
07:18Hey.
07:19Hey.
07:20I got a very important question for my big sis.
07:23Mariah.
07:24Whitney.
07:26Janet.
07:27Or Beyonce.
07:28When you gotta go?
07:29I'm not about to fight with you today.
07:31Well, that's not a fight.
07:31I miss you.
07:32How's my apartment?
07:34Well, if you're referring to the artist
07:35currently known as my new apartment,
07:39it's divine.
07:40Look, girl, your taste is impeccable, okay?
07:41And these views?
07:43Exquisite.
07:43How's my nephew?
07:44Cute as hell.
07:46Aw.
07:47Yes, he is.
07:48Because we're twins.
07:50And see, that's why you go off FaceTime.
07:53And how is Hinky Mountain?
07:55Hinkley Hills is Caucasian.
07:58That's the verbs, babes.
07:59Am I a bad mom for bringing my melanated son out here?
08:03I don't know.
08:04Are you a bad mother for accepting a very nice house
08:06in a very nice neighborhood
08:07where there's practically no crime,
08:09really nice schools?
08:10I mean, make it make sense.
08:11This feels so isolated.
08:14I mean, every day is the same thing.
08:16I don't know what I'm doing.
08:17And I don't have anybody to teach me how.
08:19Well, you know she's looking after you.
08:21That's what daddy say, but you can't teach somebody
08:23how to swallow a baby from heaven.
08:25Amen to that.
08:26How am I going to get through maternity leave?
08:29I mean, I thrive in collaborative environments.
08:32I need structure and tangible goals.
08:35Bitch, I don't speak resume.
08:37I speak housewife.
08:39This is what you do.
08:40Pick up a little day drinking habit.
08:41Maybe a little pill habit or something.
08:43Something cute.
08:43Yeah.
08:44Hard to do when you got a tit gremlin.
08:46Yeah, you could have kept that one.
08:48Well, baby, you just need some friends.
08:50I have friends.
08:51I mean, in a 10-mile radius.
08:52None of your neighbors ain't no potential there?
08:54Uh, no.
08:56It's a who's who of who's not it.
08:58These people are crazy.
09:00Well, I'm just spitballing, boo.
09:01I know.
09:02I know, and I appreciate you.
09:03And I love you, and I'm going to come and visit you soon.
09:06Okay?
09:07And I know you were to chat Mariah.
09:09I don't know her.
09:11Love you.
09:12Bye.
09:15Naveen?
09:19Look at us.
09:21Train buddies.
09:23Commute comrades.
09:25Megan filed for divorce.
09:26What?
09:27She was waiting for me when I got home yesterday.
09:30Suitcases at the bottom of the stairs.
09:31Like, out of a bad movie?
09:34Shit.
09:35Said she's been unhappy for a long time and wants to start over while she still has her youth.
09:39Said she can't stand another day of my moodiness.
09:41I'm not even...
09:45I'm not even that moody, Rob.
09:49She's fucking her dentist.
09:52Dr. James.
09:53The only one who takes my insurance.
09:54So that's fucking great.
09:56I should have known.
09:57June's getting way too much dental work done for someone who has perfect teeth.
10:01She does have great teeth.
10:03Right?
10:03Two cleanings in a week.
10:04She said she needed to get a filling.
10:06Oh.
10:07Fuck.
10:09Remember what you said at my bachelor party?
10:11No.
10:12I was drunken on three different classes of drugs.
10:14We were in Miami.
10:15My jaw was in Texas.
10:16You grabbed my face.
10:18And you said,
10:19Never trust a Megan.
10:22Nostradamus, motherfucker.
10:23I should have listened.
10:24I'm sorry, mate.
10:26Anyway, let's talk about you.
10:28Enough about me.
10:29How's the little man?
10:30Oh, God.
10:31He's the best.
10:32Perfect.
10:32I mean, he doesn't sleep, and he shits like a trucker, but wouldn't change it for the world.
10:38Nice.
10:39And Samira?
10:42She keeps asking questions about the house across the street.
10:47Really?
10:48Yeah.
10:53What'd you tell her?
10:55What is that to tell?
10:57What is that to tell?
11:00What is that to tell you?
11:32you know what you are absolutely right
11:42i attempted to leave the house today during daylight hours yes and i met lynn and she's
11:49exactly as you might have described nosy and extremely abstract sense of personal space
11:54yeah that's it and um she invited me for drinks with the neighbors she did you should go little
12:02man i can get some qt i think i might i want to see who i'll be there
12:1020 years huh so you you must have known them who the grants ah why so you did know them
12:16you're doing that thing what thing that thing you do when you get a little obsessed
12:21it's the lawyer in you you lock in remember your ramen conspiracy i know it wasn't ideal to get
12:27banned from the local bodega but i still stand by my theory that they were running drugs with
12:31the instant noodle cups it was right there i mean you were 100 onto something i mean they didn't
12:36even have a bodega cat what kind of bodega doesn't have a bodega cat babe i'm not being obsessed okay
12:40just humor me so tell me what you know about the creepy house family they lived across the street
12:48from us does anyone ever really know their neighbors yes i knew my neighbors first and
12:53last name we was all up in each other's business you did you're okay oh by the way speaking of
12:57being
12:57all up in each other's business megan left naveen so i guess i owe you 10 bucks you always call
13:03it
13:03also even worse shagging the dentist what yes oh my gosh never trust megan that's what i said do
13:12that's right allegedly babe please never leave me where am i gonna go oh yeah you're a trap now
13:23love you honey love you too and if a cheetah won't be the dentist thanks babe that means a lot
13:29somebody we don't know wow
13:39the next time that beast uses my lawn as its personal port-a-potty i am gonna get out my
13:45glue gun well break out the crayons and color me thrilled it's samara so close come come come
13:53sit sit sit uh oh this is rob fisher's way oh from across the streets dana richards is the name
14:01it's very nice to finally make your acquaintance likewise samira samira oh i'm so bad with names
14:09we haven't seen you around before we were starting to think that rob made you up no no i'm real
14:14just a
14:15new reclusive mom with leaking nipples now dana is a retired marine oh very distinguished lots of
14:25medals wow also i'm a real handy andy i have noticed not to be nosy but uh you have some
14:32spots on your
14:33fence that are pretty effed up and i can fix those for you i'm here for it because the only
14:38screwdriver
14:38i'm familiar with contains vodka and here's todd hi hi todd is a man of few syllables i don't think
14:48i've seen you around here before you've been keeping tabs on us through the window jimmy stewart
14:55which one of us is the murderer
15:00your face i'm sorry it's okay we all know that suburbia is a spectator sport you you have not seen
15:09me my home shares no sight lines with yours and i keep out ours what do you do this and
15:16that
15:19what do you and rob do i'm a civil litigation attorney hello ceo i don't know what that is but
15:26good for you yeah rob is a book editor oh how'd you meet him a kate renata concert actually kate
15:32renata
15:33i'm going to look her up let me know what you find rob seems like he's romantic he is so
15:40how long
15:41have you guys lived here well for me just a couple years i wanted something with nature but
15:46my wife's idea of outdoorsyness is like a restaurant with a patio so this was our compromise
15:53and then she got deployed she's in military too cannot confirm or deny honestly despite what two
16:02decades of daytime television tell you there are a lot of people that don't care for middle-aged
16:06lesbians but i felt welcome for the most part i've been here eight months and ten days
16:13that's precise she's been here for freaking ever not as long as some marty and i moved here 15
16:20years ago marty i can't wait to meet him um unfortunately he passed oh lynn i'm so sorry i
16:27thank you heart attack it's been almost half a year but i still feel his presence every day
16:39anyway these wine nights really help it's it's a bit like family that's right when you have
16:46neighbors you're never alone even when you want to be how'd you city kids end up here oh well rob's
16:52parents i'm sure you guys know they uh retired to one of those timeshare cruise ships last month
16:57that's a choice not mine but a choice well they had been asking us to come out here we didn't
17:02want to
17:02leave the city but our building got broken into we just felt like maybe we should we should try it
17:08out at least temporarily well thank goodness you're safe and sound here with us so what's the deal
17:16with that victorian house chainsaw massacre satanic cult uh jilted bride who severed the head of her
17:25lost unfaithful unfaithful lover it's haunted as shit the lights go on and off all the time by
17:32themselves i've seen that it could just be filthy wiring a skeptic i like it when you're the resident
17:38historian catch her up well it was a little before my time a family lived there the grants yes and
17:46they
17:46had a daughter who died in the house there have been whispers of mysterious circumstances surrounding
17:56her passing maybe even murder and then the parents moved away and never sold the house
18:05so it just sits there rotting pissing off the hoa god i would give my left tent to go over
18:14there and
18:14do a little ghost hunt hi everyone it's cookie time it's like she just knows when my sugar drops
18:21rory likes to prey on vulnerable shard sippers business is much more lucrative in this neighborhood
18:27than in mine the usual and keep the change honey hey i saw a stroller at your door i am
18:33a great
18:33mother's helper if that's something that might interest you how old are you 13 next month i have
18:37my cpr certification and badges in child development early literacy and swaddling swaddling
18:43okay sunflower scouts my business card feel free to reach out anytime you're a notary public
18:49mm-hmm it's like they heard us after all this time we'd love a plot twist
19:27you'd really like this podcast it's two guys talking about medieval construction
19:31tech you are so boring you're so hot when you cook thanks babe how are the neighbors uh good
19:37a bit weird yeah well this is a cul-de-sac what's wrong with cul-de-sacs people are weird
19:42i think people are weird in cul-de-sacs wait is it cul-de-sac like attorneys general this given
19:48get
19:49out yeah i hear you look when my family first moved here some people didn't know how to feel
19:55about us but it's a nice area and people like to think of themselves as nice so they try to
20:02act
20:02nice until they're actually nice that's nice don't get me wrong i was still a sad little kid
20:08until i found my people by his people he means an awkward gangly tween with a funny accent that had
20:13just been dragged across the pond for his dad's new job funny accent what are you talking about dude
20:18your accent pulled still pulls if we're being honest you know the girls called him prince rob
20:23i don't think that's true it's so true did you know the victorians for sale
20:30really i'm assuming that's what the for sale sign means yeah that would indicate that so why
20:36didn't you tell me somebody was murdered there what are you talking about the grant girl
20:44yeah right allison wasn't murdered that's just small town gossip allison so what happened to allison
20:54i honestly like it was so long ago that i i don't remember a lot from that but you did
20:59know her
21:01uh yeah but in the same way that anybody knows a neighbor why wouldn't you tell me that
21:07because i didn't think it was relevant babe it was like 20 years ago there's a reason they call
21:12hinkley hills the safest town in america okay well is there anything else you want to tell me about
21:18this place
21:29completed in 1902 hinkley house was built by hinkley hills founder h horace hinkley the mining
21:37magnet and philanthropist purchased 25 000 acres of hillside forest in 1898 and developed it into the
21:45thriving suburb that bears his name today hinkley hills is more than just an idyllic bedroom community
21:52it is a shining example of fellowship and family values hinkley hills the safest town in america
22:29here we go
22:37hello how may i help you do you have a periodical section collections of old newspapers microfiche maybe
22:43i'm doing okay thank you for asking oh i'm sorry i am a new mom and i'm practically feral i
22:50understand oh what a cute little mocha munchkin to answer your question yes we have bound copies of
23:01all the hinkley hills heralds dating back to 1946 is there a particular date you're interested in
23:07march 15th 2005. one moment please
23:30i'm afraid that march volume has been checked out really it's due back in a week you can come back
23:35for it then it's a date judy
23:58bill you missed a spot dear
24:01bill you missed a spot dear
24:01bill you missed a spot dear
24:15oh shit she about to talk
24:19it's not even her house what's she feeding that dog
24:27she's gonna be mad when she gets cussed out
24:37you are not gonna believe this
24:42oh my gosh
24:44i know
24:45so are we gonna go in do white ladies love salads hell yeah we're going in
24:50brb i'm gonna go get land rob honey if you were awake i would have asked what you thought but
24:54oh
24:54oh well
25:03i just got a chill
25:06anybody else got a chill
25:12i'll do it
25:13i was gonna offer but it seems like you already
25:16offered
25:18oh it's stuck
25:20oh well
25:26oh
25:27oh
25:31oh
25:42everybody be cool
25:44i cannot be less cool right now
25:49this place looks like a museum
25:52or a mausoleum
25:55that's why the lights are on
25:57your stage in the house
26:00hiya home buyers how can i help you we are looking for an enormous house for our niece
26:07um we would love a tour
26:12follow me
26:13the owners have instructed that interior photography is not permitted
26:18this is the library very tasteful we enjoy literacy
26:24all of the flooring is original to the house which is built in the queen anne style as you can
26:29imagine a little love and a professional sander will go a long way oh feel free to show yourselves
26:36around excuse me hello there welcome they discriminate against older female buyers this
26:42always happens oh please our niece you're a really bad liar
26:47i had to get him to take the bait or he might have thrown us out
26:50well it's an open house so by definition i'm gonna peek around
26:53everybody
26:53i'm
26:54i'm
26:55i'm
27:10i'm
27:11i'm
27:27This is the ugliest kitchen I've ever seen.
27:40Oh, no.
27:52When did you get here?
27:56Okay.
28:00Okay.
28:09Okay.
28:11Okay.
28:23Okay.
28:31Okay.
28:36Okay.
28:39Okay.
28:48Okay.
28:51Okay.
28:53Okay.
28:53Okay.
28:54Okay.
29:10Oh, absolutely not.
29:13Okay.
29:23Okay.
29:23Okay.
29:28Okay.
29:29Okay.
29:32One way.세
29:33He installed a security system, which, in my expert opinion, is overkill for a private residence.
29:39You would only need a security system that robust if you are in danger or you have something to hide.
29:46Or both.
29:47I've never heard you say so many words at once.
29:49Well, I wish him luck with the Munster mansion, and I hope he has a good contractor.
29:55And a good exorcist.
30:28What time is it?
30:29Two a.m.
30:32Something's not right out there.
30:34Okay, that is so weird.
30:40Is that?
30:42No.
30:51Huh.
30:56Yeah.
30:57Uh-uh.
30:58That was about the new neighbor.
30:59But I'm sad and starving.
31:01Too bad.
31:01I'm being nice.
31:02Isn't this the kind of place where the neighbors act nice until they are nice?
31:06I did say that.
31:07Yes, you did.
31:08Your mother's up to something.
31:10What?
31:10I just want to know what his deal is, don't you?
31:12Maybe he doesn't have a deal.
31:14A guy moves into a dilapidated haunted house at two a.m.?
31:17Come on.
31:18He definitely has a deal.
31:20That is weird, weird.
31:22When did you pick that up?
31:23Ninja.
31:25Ninja.
31:25Ninja.
31:27Ninja.
31:27Ninja.
31:28Ninja.
31:28Ninja.
31:29Ninja.
31:30Ninja.
31:33Let's go.
32:01Let's go.
32:31When it's dark outside, in a stationary position, that is a game changer.
32:34A life-affirming moment.
32:37What are you looking at?
32:38Your brownies are still there.
32:42Wait, really?
32:44Why won't he eat the goddamn brownies?
32:47Maybe he doesn't fuck with gluten?
32:49Then throw him out and give us the plate back.
32:50That's a good plate.
32:51It doesn't make sense.
32:53Everyone likes brownies.
32:54They're the Beyonce of dessert.
32:56And if they don't, they're just being contrary.
32:59Jinx?
32:59Maybe you just didn't see a bit in there.
33:01The camera was on, on.
33:04Sorry.
33:05I just love it when you get all lawyery.
33:06Order in the court.
33:07Counsel, please approach the punch.
33:09I object.
33:10Is there anything else you've noticed?
33:12Curtains opening and closing?
33:14Could he be watching us?
33:15Definitely could be.
33:16I think we better.
33:23He always knows.
33:24No.
33:25I got too cocky.
33:26I flew too close to the sun and now he's punishing me like a tiny vengeful god.
33:31It's alright.
33:32I'm gonna go drive him around.
33:33Okay.
33:37I'm coming.
33:38I'm coming.
33:45I'll be back in a second.
33:47Love you.
33:48Love you.
33:49Get some rest, babe.
33:50Come on.
33:53Hmm.
34:01Fuck it.
34:06Reclaiming my plate.
34:09What's he think he is?
34:11Not eat my brownies.
34:12I love my brownies.
34:13I eat it my damn self.
34:42He can keep the damn place.
34:44I eat it.
34:45I eat it.
34:48I eat it.
34:49I eat it.
34:52I eat it.
34:56I eat it.
34:57I eat it.
34:58I eat it.
34:59I eat it.
35:00I eat it.
35:00I eat it.
35:01I eat it.
35:02I eat it.
35:02I eat it.
35:02I eat it.
35:02I eat it.
35:03I eat it.
35:03I eat it.
35:04I eat it.
35:05I eat it.
35:06I eat it.
35:09I eat it.
35:31Is everything all right?
35:32Hands where I can see him.
35:34What's happening?
35:35We got a call about a trespasser at the old Grant House.
35:38I guess who matches the description.
35:40Hey!
35:42What the hell is going on?
35:43New owners said they saw a black person skulking around the property.
35:47This is a big misunderstanding.
35:49Is it?
35:50Because apparently it happened twice.
35:51I was just dropping off brownies.
35:53This is my wife.
35:54In our house, where we live with our son.
35:57Fuck off.
36:00Robert Fisher.
36:02Danny Daniels.
36:03From high school.
36:05I heard you move back.
36:09Baby, it's okay.
36:10Mommy's...
36:11Sorry, man.
36:12You know we gotta take the call.
36:13This is nuts.
36:16Consider this drop, my good man.
36:21Yeah, don't worry about it.
36:22They all kind of look like that at that age.
36:26Robert Fisher.
36:28As I live and breathe,
36:30you folks have a great evening.
36:36Did you just thank the cops?
36:39Oh, shit.
36:41But...
36:42What's wrong with me?
36:44Sorry, babe.
36:47We can't live across the street from someone like that.
36:50I mean, what would have happened if I hadn't gotten there when I did?
37:00What's up, man?
37:00This is some bullshit.
37:02That freak, Nark, will rue the day he stepped foot in Hinkley Hills.
37:05Yeah, just used rue the day in a sentence.
37:08You're welcome.
37:11Hey.
37:13Todd told me what happened.
37:14I heard it on the police scanner.
37:17What the hell?
37:18What do you need, babe?
37:20You need some wine?
37:21How about some ice cream?
37:22You want a hit, man?
37:23I know people.
37:24I'm people.
37:25Say the word.
37:26Okay, we can hold on the ladder,
37:28but I could use some wine.
37:30Yeah, that's the cure-all for all.
37:32Even racial profiling?
37:33We share your rage.
37:35He will not last long here.
37:38Spoken like a true hater.
37:39I love this energy, my dude.
37:40Oh, there's the sommelier now.
37:42Oh, Rob.
37:44This is lunacy of outrageous proportions,
37:47and we won't stand for it.
37:49Should I get some glasses?
37:50Yes.
37:51I got you.
37:51Please, make your stuff.
37:52Yeah.
37:54Shove over.
37:55I think we should all sleep here tonight.
37:57Safety in numbers.
37:59Hunker down.
37:59Someone should always be on watch, right?
38:01Like in the Marines?
38:02Yes, I will be out front the entire time.
38:05Okay.
38:05I've had a lot of coffee, so I'll stay up all night.
38:08Sleep out there like a dog.
38:10Todd, we gotta, like, stick together right now
38:12and form an alliance.
38:15Right?
38:16I'm a lone wolf.
38:16Is that a united front?
38:17I've got some big-ass flashlights.
38:19I'm gonna bring over about a ton of them.
38:20Do you have stuff that you brought home from the Marines?
38:22I've got a lot of stuff in the garage.
38:24I just have to remember the password for that case.
38:27Oh, wow.
38:42Are those fireflies?
38:46Yeah.
38:48I always wanted to see fireflies growing up,
38:50but you can't see them in the city.
38:52It's like spotting a fairy in the wild.
38:58It's not fair.
39:01I was just starting to feel at home here.
39:05There's space
39:07and a community.
39:12I damn sure don't want to drag no stroll up
39:14for flights of stairs.
39:24I think we should stay.
39:27I want Miles to have fireflies.
39:30And our family's not gonna be run out
39:32by some racist, brownie-hating prick.
39:39We're doing this.
39:41Hell yeah, we're doing this.
39:54Coming in?
39:56In a minute.
39:59I want to smell this sweet suburban here.
40:20I want to smell this sweet suburban here.
40:33Oh, shit.
40:35Oh, shit.
40:38Bye.
40:40Bye.
40:48Bye.
40:50Bye.
40:56Bye.
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