Skip to playerSkip to main content
  • 11 hours ago
Granny insists on administering her potent homemade spring tonic to the family. Jed receives a double dose after making a mean comment, and the concoction proves to be a powerful remedy.

Category

📺
TV
Transcript
00:00Come and listen to my story about a man named Jed, a poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed.
00:05And then one day he was shooting at some food, and up through the ground come a bubble and crude.
00:11Oil, that is, black gold, Texas tea.
00:16Well, the first thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire.
00:19The kinfolk said, Jed, move away from there.
00:21Said, California is the place you ought to be.
00:24So they loaded up the truck and removed to Beverly.
00:26Beverly Hills, that is, swimming pools, movie stars.
00:32The Beverly Hillbillies.
01:01It's the first week of spring, and Granny's swampin' up her tonic, for it to give to all the family
01:10and her kin.
01:12Though it tastes mighty bitter, it is good for man and critter, because it gets your blood to run in
01:20free again.
01:22Granny's brew, it's good for you.
01:27If you're off your feet, you ought to have some too.
01:33Even Paul leaves his fiddles.
01:36He just sits out front and whittles.
01:39Cousin' Jethro, he's asleep in the shade.
01:42Instead of doin' her spring cleanin', on her mop, Aunt Pearl's a-leanin'.
01:49Granny better get that batch of tonic made.
01:54There's the gone.
01:57Won't be long.
01:59Till the family's back to feelin' good and strong.
02:05Line up, everybody, first-come, first-served.
02:10One, two, three, and four.
02:14All right, Pearl, go ahead.
02:21All right, you should go first, Jed.
02:24You're the head of the family.
02:25Oh, no, no, Pearl, I ain't in no hurry.
02:27How about you, Willie Mae?
02:28Oh, no, Paul, I was the last one in.
02:31Do I take it this family don't want to take my tonic?
02:36Oh, no, Granny, it's good.
02:38Well, then step up, somebody be first.
02:41Well, Pearl, go on ahead.
02:42Women and children first, that's the rule.
02:45That's the rule for fire, flood, and disaster.
02:48Well, it seems to me Granny's tonic ought to fit in here somewhere.
02:52I heard what you said, Jed Clampin'.
02:54And just for that, when it comes your turn,
02:56you're gonna get a double dose.
02:58Now, step up, somebody, and get out.
03:01Hey, I got an ID.
03:03How about letting this little fella go first?
03:06He looks kind of puny.
03:07Yeah, he's been acting kind of poorly lately, Granny.
03:09Tonic him first, Granny.
03:19Sure seems to like it.
03:21Yeah, you want some more?
03:23No, I reckon that's enough for a little critter like him.
03:35Mr. Hathaway, these papers are ready for Jed Clampin's signature.
03:47Oh, incidentally, he did a fine job bringing his file up to date.
03:49Thank you, Chief.
03:50I'll be right in.
04:03Mr. Drysdale?
04:05Well, I wish to give credit where credit is due.
04:09Most of the work on the Clampin file was done by Miss Buckles here.
04:13Hmm?
04:13Buckles?
04:14Who's she?
04:15A comparatively new girl, Chief.
04:17But already she has displayed those qualities.
04:18So rare in the modern girl.
04:20Eagerness to learn, willingness to work, loyalty to the bank, devotion to duty.
04:24All right, all right.
04:25How much of a raise does she want?
04:27Oh, no, Mr. Drysdale.
04:28I didn't do it to get a raise.
04:30I did it because I'm sincerely interested in my work here.
04:33And I'm determined to become the best in her...
04:36Second best...
04:38...employee in your bank.
04:40You hear that, Chief?
04:42Rar devotion to duty.
04:45And Miss Buckles worked on the Clampin file in her own time.
04:48Time.
04:49Very praiseworthy.
04:50All right, what's Mr. Clampin's present balance?
04:55$34,783,127.34.
05:00That's not including the oil deposit due today.
05:04Well, you are familiar with his file.
05:07I feel that a job worth doing is worth doing right.
05:11Unlike so many others, this girl is not here to find a husband.
05:15She is here to work, right, Gloria?
05:16Right, Miss Hathaway.
05:17You may call me, Jane.
05:19All right.
05:20I'll take these up to Mr. Clampin.
05:22Now, make sure he signs in all places indicated.
05:24Right, Chief?
05:24Miss Hathaway, your time is so valuable, and I know that Mr. Drysdale needs you.
05:29I would never be missed from the secretarial pool.
05:33Do you hear that, Chief?
05:35Is she a rar fine?
05:38I just try to be like you, Miss Hathaway.
05:41Jane.
05:42Jane.
05:43Chief, if it's all right with you, she is familiar with the papers.
05:46Oh, fine.
05:47Yeah, fine.
05:51And, Gloria.
05:52Yes?
05:53You must take my car.
05:55Oh, no, I will.
05:56Oh, tut, tut, tut.
05:57I insist.
06:11Thirty-four million, seven hundred, eighty-three thousand, one hundred twenty-seven dollars and thirty-four cents.
06:17Thirty-four million, seven hundred, eighty-three thousand, one hundred twenty-seven dollars and thirty-four cents.
06:22Thirty-four million, seven hundred, eighty-three thousand, one hundred twenty-seven dollars and thirty-four cents.
06:47howdy ma'am well how do you do i'm gloria buckles from the commerce bank oh it's mighty nice to
06:53meet you i'm jed clampett you yes ma'am but i was looking for a a much older man ain't
07:04no older men
07:04around here might could scare you up one in the neighborhood seems to me i've seen an elderly
07:09fellow down the road a few no no i simply meant i i couldn't believe that you were so young
07:15well maybe it's because i ain't you look so young
07:21you do look young is that a thing
07:28he's holding his tonic but that ain't all
07:35tell you granny i've seen it with my own eyes that girl is young enough to be his daughter
07:39and you say he gave her a hug grabbed at her like a crawdad grabs bait
07:44that old mountain goat i didn't figure on him running wild you're a tonic you shouldn't have
07:51double dosed him and him being a widower so long jen will come to his senses
07:55hmm i don't know ain't no fool like old fool
07:59jen ain't old he's old enough but he ain't too old and that's where the danger is
08:06you're making a hill out of a haystack
08:09granny i got a good look at this girl and i'm telling you right now that ain't hay
08:15real big city article not the kind of girl that jed's used to meetin back home
08:20oh girls is girls city or country they all come out of the same catalog
08:26maybe so but the city girls make it look like there's more in the package
08:32granny pearl oh there you are
08:39see what you mean pearl she's wrapped tight and tied loose
08:47i want you all to meet miss gloria buckles this here is a granny and uh cousin pearl
08:52how do you do i'm very pleased to meet you ladies
08:57howdy hi
09:02well uh isn't she just about the prettiest thing you ever did see yeah baber's ellie a lot just about
09:12her age too wouldn't you say granny i'm a mite younger
09:17Who's Ellie?
09:19His granddaughter.
09:20I mean, my granddaughter.
09:22She's Ted's daughter.
09:25Oh, are you married, Mr. Glanford?
09:27I'm a widower, ma'am.
09:29Yeah, poor old kid.
09:31I reckon he's come for another dose of his lumbago medicine, Granny.
09:35I reckon.
09:36Poor old feller was up all last night with the misery.
09:41A moaning and a groaning and a walk in the floor.
09:44He is.
09:46The poor old feller is past the point where liniment does him any good.
09:50Slice his four-speed old bones.
09:52Now, girl, that's just about enough of that.
09:55You both know I never had a twinge of the miseries in all my life.
09:58Knock on wood.
10:01Pearl, his mind is wandering again.
10:04They didn't call Granny.
10:06He missed his nap.
10:09I want to apologize for them, too, ma'am.
10:11They both just think they're being funny.
10:13Well, I know what you mean.
10:14I have some elderly relatives like that myself.
10:19It's such a beautiful day.
10:21Why don't we go for a drive, Jed?
10:25Thank you, ma'am.
10:26I'd like that, uh, Gloria.
10:42Did you hear what she called us?
10:45Elderly relatives.
10:46Don't mind that.
10:47It's what he called her and she called him, and now she's going to get him out alone in her
10:50car.
10:51Let's get in the truck and follow him.
10:55We can't drive.
10:57Oh, I don't want Jethro getting no ideas from his uncle.
11:00Don't forget, he's been tonic, too.
11:03Wee has nothing to worry about.
11:06Jed's a man that can keep his feet on the ground.
11:08Once he gets his arms around that girl, won't much matter where he keeps his feet.
11:19By dingy's ma'am, if you hadn't brought her to a halt right when you did, we'd have gone right
11:23over that bluff.
11:24I'd get out and push her back on the road.
11:26No, no, no.
11:26Mr. Clampett, I stopped here purposely.
11:29Who?
11:30How come?
11:33Well, it's so beautiful and I'm so lonely.
11:38A pretty woman like you?
11:40Why, I'd think these city boys would be standing in line for you.
11:44Boys, yes.
11:45Men, no.
11:47Well, I've seen them here all ages.
11:49Well, I'm afraid that years alone do not turn a boy into a man.
11:54I reckon I know what you mean.
11:56I blame that city down there.
11:59Something about it seems to close in on a boy and keep him small and immature all his life.
12:08I show me a boy that's grown up in the country.
12:10In the mountains, especially.
12:12And I'll show you a man.
12:14A real man.
12:18You're gonna think I'm making this up on account of what you just said.
12:21When I grow it up in the mountains.
12:22Oh, no.
12:24Yes, ma'am.
12:25Don't let that Beverly Hills mansion fool you.
12:27I'm a mountain boy.
12:28Born and bred.
12:30Of course.
12:32Of course I see it now.
12:35I see it in those cool, clear eyes.
12:38Unclouded by smoke.
12:40Eyes that look beyond a city skyline and seeing the truth and beauty of nature.
12:48I see it in this rugged, handsome face.
12:55I see it in these strong but gentle hands.
13:01Hands that have dug into the good earth, put life into it and brought it forth.
13:09Hands roughened by honest toil.
13:18You can have a look at the face.
13:21Oh, Jed.
13:24What have you done to me?
13:26Nothing, ma'am.
13:27Oh, yes, you have.
13:29You've sentenced me to a life of loneliness.
13:33A life without love.
13:36A life unfulfilled.
13:38Well, I don't know what you mean, ma'am.
13:40Honest, I don't.
13:45I'll tell you what I mean.
13:48You've set a standard no man could measure up to.
13:51A goal I could never achieve.
13:54Having met you, I could never care for a city man.
14:00Those weak and puny clothes dummies with their narrow suits and their narrow shoulders and their narrow minds.
14:09Please, ma'am, I...
14:10I have felt the muscles of a mountaineer ripple beneath my hands.
14:15Do you think I could ever be happy with anything less?
14:17No.
14:18No.
14:20I shall never marry.
14:23Better an old maid
14:25than a life with a man I could neither love nor respect.
14:30Ma'am, don't feel that way.
14:32Pretty woman like you?
14:34Smart and all?
14:35Why, it'd be a terrible shame if you was to...
14:38never to get married and raise a flock of young'uns?
14:41No.
14:43Oh, please, ma'am.
14:45I'd feel terrible if I thought you was wasting your life this way.
14:49Please change your mind.
14:55Well, Miss Gloria,
14:58if you're determined to marry a mountain man and none other,
15:02and unless you do it, your life will be ruined.
15:06Maybe,
15:07and I get to know you better,
15:11I might could find a way.
15:14Oh, Jack.
15:15Now, I ain't makin' no promises,
15:17but, uh, you set me to thinkin'.
15:20I reckon we'd best get back home
15:22and everybody get better acquainted.
15:40Oh!
15:41I nearly forgot your pocketbook.
15:42Oh, those are some papers Mr. Drysdale wants you to sign.
15:45Well, uh, come on, let's get in here and get busy.
15:48Got a lot to do with signing and dancing and getting better acquainted.
15:56Well, I reckon the first thing I better do is sign them papers you got for me.
15:59Uh, yes, yes, that's a good idea.
16:05Is she wearin' a wedding ring?
16:07Wait till she gets her gloves off.
16:10Won't see one.
16:11Good.
16:12Then they ain't been to the preacher.
16:14What is old them anyway?
16:16Well,
16:18now this transfers your money from one account to the other.
16:22And this,
16:24this is your last will and testament.
16:27They ain't been to the preacher, but they been to the lawyer.
16:30And that's just as bad.
16:32Or worse.
16:33We gotta stop him.
16:37Oh!
16:38There you are, Jed.
16:40We've been lookin' all over for ya.
16:41You give the doctor a terrible fright
16:44disappearing like that.
16:46He was afraid you might've fell in the cistern again.
16:50What are you talkin' about?
16:51Why, Jed, clamp it.
16:53Shame on you.
16:55You know the doctor don't want you to have nothing sharp.
16:59Pearl, what in a blue cage?
17:00No, no, no.
17:00Don't get excited, Jed.
17:04The doctor says it ain't good for him to get excited.
17:09Well, what are you, what are you, what are you...
17:11Oh, I almost forgot.
17:12Come on into the parlor.
17:14I got a surprise for you.
17:15A surprise?
17:16Come on.
17:23All right, what's a surprise?
17:24Well, a surprise is what,
17:26what Pearl and me found out about that woman
17:28while she was gone.
17:30What'd you find out?
17:31She's a spy.
17:34For one of them fern nations.
17:36Which one?
17:39Minneapolis, Wisconsin.
17:43That's right, Mr. Drysdale.
17:45We didn't know who else to call.
17:46But we think this here woman's trying to get Jed's money.
17:50Well, she says her name is Gloria Buckles, but I don't know that...
17:54Ah!
17:56What?
17:57Oh.
17:59Well, yes, sir.
18:00Yes, sir, we will.
18:02Bye.
18:03Mr. Drysdale must know that woman.
18:05He's a-coming right over.
18:07Is all gonna marry up with her?
18:08Oh, child, we hope not.
18:10We pray not.
18:12Why, Granny?
18:13Well, I gotta look at her, and boy, she's pretty.
18:15Beauty is only skin deep, son.
18:18Well, she must have awful deep skin, because every place I could see was...
18:23Now, Mr. Drysdale says we's to keep her here till he comes.
18:27I'll watch her, Ma.
18:28You watch your car.
18:39What'd you say this one was called?
18:41This is about the twist.
18:43If the feller was to dance this in a fresh-plowed field, he'd auger his way right into the ground
18:47with him.
18:53Hey, Jethro, come on in. You wanna dance?
18:55He'd rather dance with her, Uncle Jed.
18:57That's what I had in mind, boy.
18:59Miss Buckles, this here is my nephew, Jethro.
19:02Hiya.
19:03You teach him that there twist, and I'll teach it to Ellie Mae.
19:05This is my daughter I've been telling you about.
19:06Oh, what a beautiful child.
19:09You and I are going to be such good chums.
19:11Ma'am, I think he meant for you to dance with me.
19:28We're in time, Chief. There's my car.
19:30Yes. Now, where's your protege?
19:32That loyal, devoted, hard-working gold digger.
19:35I so can't believe it. So shy, so retiring.
19:38She'll be retiring if she hooks Jed Clampett.
19:40Come on, huh?
19:50Yee-haw!
19:52Go, Uncle Jed!
19:56This is fun!
20:01Get through. I reckon you better answer that door.
20:04Okay, Uncle Jed.
20:06Howdy.
20:07How do you do, ma'am? I'm sorry to intrude.
20:10Howdy, folks. Come on in. Dig yourselves a hole.
20:15Gloria Buckles.
20:16Huh? Where? Where? Where?
20:19There.
20:20Oh, I thought there it is. You imposter!
20:23Jezebeth!
20:24You go, dear.
20:26I have a bulletin for you, too.
20:28You better be nice to me,
20:29or else after my wedding you may lose your largest depositor.
20:34Wedding?
20:35Mr. Clampett!
20:38Have things gotten as far as actually discussing marriage with this woman?
20:42Oh, yes, Mr. Drydale, they have.
20:45Her and me had a nice long talk about it,
20:47and that's the reason I brought her home,
20:48so she could meet the family, kind of get acquainted.
20:51But, but...
20:52This pretty young city woman says that unless she can marry a mountain man,
20:56she just ain't gonna get married at all.
20:58I think we all agree that'd be a terrible waste.
21:03Should we set the date now, Jed?
21:06Well, yeah, near as we can.
21:09I'd say everybody willing that it'd be in about three or four years.
21:15Three or four years?
21:17Yeah, be that long before Jethro's 21.
21:20Jethro?
21:21Jethro?
21:22Jethro?
21:22My diggity dog!
21:23I got me a woman!
21:25Jed?
21:26Bring me back!
21:30Pa, ain't you gonna marry up with that city woman?
21:34Oh, well, yes, old foxes is trap shy.
21:37Especially when the bait goes to chasing us.
21:57Well, now it's time to say goodbye to Jed and all his kin.
22:01And they would like to thank you folks for kindly dropping in.
22:04You're all invited back next week to this locality
22:08To have a heaping helping of their hospitality.
22:12Hillbilly, that is.
22:14Set a spell.
22:15Take your shoes off.
22:17Y'all come back now, hear?
22:20This has been a Filmways presentation.
22:25Did you see the film all yet?
22:27десяth is profitable.
22:28Thank you, Mr.
22:29Thank you, Mr.
Comments

Recommended