- 2 days ago
Henry Jones shows up at the Clampetts' pretending to be an old friend, and tries to sell the family the Hollywood Bowl, Griffith Park, and the freeway.
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00:00Come and listen to my story about a man named Jed
00:02A poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed
00:05And then one day he was shootin' at some food
00:08And up through the ground come a bubble and crude
00:11Oil, that is, black gold, Texas tea
00:16Well, the first thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire
00:18The kinfolk said, Jed, move away from there
00:21Said, California is the place you ought to be
00:24So they loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly
00:26Hills, that is, swimming pools, movie stars
00:31The Beverly Hillbillies
01:07You're Jed Clampett, I'd know you anywhere
01:11Jed Clampett, just like mother described you
01:16Your maw knows me?
01:17Well, we live just beyond the ridge from you, back home
01:20Well, it's mighty nice to have somebody from back home drop in on us
01:24And it's mighty nice to feel the firm, friendly grip of a real mountain man again
01:30Come in, come in
01:31Don't believe it, what's your name?
01:34Uh, Jones, Harry Jones
01:37There's an article here concerning a continent's man known to be operating in this area
01:40So?
01:41His M.O., that is police vernacular for modus operandi, which in turn is Latin
01:47I know what modus operandi mean
01:49I watched Dragnet for seven years
01:52Sorry, Chief
01:53To continue, his M.O. is to prey upon rural types
01:57Especially those who have come into money
01:59Like the Clampetts
02:01He's particularly...
02:02Harry Jones, alias Herbie Jones, alias Herbie Brown, alias Herbie Brower
02:08Came out to California and struck it rich
02:11Acquired a lot of property
02:13But now my heart says
02:15Herbie boy, go back to the land of your childhood
02:19You said your name was Harry
02:20Oh, it is
02:22Herbie's my second name
02:23The one mother always used to favor
02:25When I think of that, I think of home in mother
02:28You won't pass down, has she?
02:30Boy, no, she's very, very sick
02:33That's why I have to dispose of all my vast California holdings
02:36And hurry to her side
02:38Now, uh, Mr. Clampett
02:44How would you like to buy the Hollywood Bowl?
02:48Mr. Kim, where are you going?
02:51Well, I gotta go out and fetch Granny
02:53She's, uh, she takes care of buying everything for the kitchen
02:56Like pots and pans and bowls
02:58No, no, no, no, Mr. Clampett
03:00It's not that kind of a bowl
03:01The Hollywood Bowl is a vast open-air amphitheater
03:06Seats 20,000 people
03:08What in a Sam Hill would I want with a place like that?
03:11Well, do you know how much money the Hollywood Bowl took in last year?
03:16Can't say as I do
03:17Four million dollars
03:19Is that a fact?
03:21That's right
03:21Four million dollars?
03:23Yes, sirree, Bob
03:24What in a Sam Hill would I want with a place like that?
03:29You, uh, you mean four million dollars doesn't interest you?
03:32Well, no, especially
03:33I already got more than I need now
03:35Well, congratulations
03:39You just passed the test
03:41What test?
03:41I just wanted to see
03:43If you were still that sweet, honest, ungreedy man
03:47That my dear mother told me about
03:50Get Jack Clampett on the phone
03:53As the bulletin says
03:54He is particularly clever at selling public parks and monuments to these rural types
03:58He convinces them that he's one of their own kind
04:02Sorry, Chief, the line's busy
04:04Tell me, Mr. Clampett
04:06What do you like to do?
04:07Uh, uh, what I mean is
04:09What are your favorite pastimes?
04:11Well, I reckon, uh, hunting, fishing, whittling
04:14Well, then the Hollywood Bowl is exactly what you need
04:18I don't quite follow what you mean
04:19Well, let's take whittling, for instance
04:21You know there are 20,000 wooden benches in that place?
04:27And if you get tired of whittling
04:28You just turn on the water
04:30Fill her up
04:31Throw in a few trout
04:33And you've got the best doggone fish in all you ever saw
04:37What about hunting?
04:38Hunting!
04:40Why, in those hills surrounding the Hollywood Bowl
04:43Especially on Mulholland Drive
04:44You'll find more wolves up there than you'll find in any place in this here country
04:50I don't know about that
04:51Ed, where are you?
04:53We're in here, Granny
04:55Ed, can you get the top off of this?
04:58Oh, I didn't know we had company
05:00Mr. Jones is here as, uh
05:02Of course
05:03Granny, I'd know that face anywhere
05:06Mr. Jones is from back home in our part of the country
05:08His family used to live beyond the ridge from us
05:11Jones?
05:12Jones
05:14I recollect a family of Joneses that lived beyond the ridge
05:18That must have been
05:19They was horse thieves
05:20Uh, different Jones
05:23Yeah, I reckon so
05:25Yes, I remember Mother always used to say
05:28We must be twice as good
05:30To make up for the bad Joneses
05:33Mr. Jones here is wanting me to buy the Hollywood Bowl off them
05:37Hollywood Bowl?
05:38Hollywood Bowl?
05:40And this must be the young lady I've heard so much about
05:44The lovely Ellie Mae
05:47Me?
05:48Well, the stories I've heard about you, my dear
05:50Don't do you justice
05:51You have a much more mature beauty than I expected
05:55Me?
05:57Why, you won't stay unmarried long in Beverly Hills, my dear
06:00I'm surprised some handsome young movie star
06:03Hasn't already claimed you for his very own
06:05Me?
06:07Mr. Jones, shoot me
06:08I'm gonna tell him, Granny
06:10Just let me take my time
06:12Mr. Jones, this here is my cousin, Pearl Bodine
06:16I'm charmed to make your acquaintance, my dear
06:19Miss Bodine
06:20It's Mrs.
06:22But I'm a widow
06:24Pearl, you seem to know about Hollywood Bowl
06:27Oh, yeah, did I heard about it
06:29It's where they have all that open-hour music and singing
06:33Pearl here is right gifted at singing and playing and yodeling
06:36Oh, Jed, I ain't neither
06:38You are so?
06:40No, I ain't
06:40Oh, you sure are
06:42I ain't
06:43Let her win, Jed, for once she's right
06:47Uh, Mr. Clapper
06:48If I may, as owner of Hollywood Bowl
06:51I've become an expert judge of musical talent
06:54And I wonder if I might hear Mrs. Bodine perform
06:58Well, I could, I could yodel for you
07:01Cut loose, Pearl
07:07Yeah, there's no question about it
07:14That voice belongs in the open air
07:16Uh, theater
07:18Where 20,000 people can listen and enjoy it
07:2220,000 people would pay to hear me?
07:25Why, my dear, they would fight for the privilege
07:27How much you reckon they'd pay?
07:29Oh, I'd say at rock-bottom prices, at least $5 a head
07:3320,000 at $5 a head?
07:35That's $100,000 for only one night
07:39Jed, did you hear that?
07:41I sure did, Pearl
07:42Mr. Jones, looks like you got yourself a deal
07:45Your troubles is over
07:46You mean it?
07:48Yes, sir
07:49With a moneymaker like Pearl singing and yodeling for you
07:52You won't have to sell your Hollywood Bowl
07:54I won't
08:04Here you are, Mr. Jones
08:08Thank you, my dear
08:14Hello
08:15Uh, this is
08:25Did Mr. Jones call his lawyer yet?
08:27He's trying to get him now
08:28He seems to have a little catch in his throat
08:31Hey, Pearl told us the news, Granny
08:32Ma's gonna sing in Hollywood Bowl, huh?
08:35It ain't said for sure until he talks to his lawyer
08:37Uh, but you've gotta find a way to get out of those contracts
08:41This woman is a tremendous talent
08:45Well, she's the greatest yodeler since, since Caruso
08:50By George, I'm glad I'm selling the Hollywood Bowl
08:53When a woman with the talent of Pearl Bodine
08:56Can't play in my theater
08:58Then I'm through, you hear me?
09:00Through!
09:01I ain't gonna sing in Hollywood Bowl, Mr. Jones
09:04We're booked solid, my dear
09:06And I just got to honor those contracts
09:10But if someone else was to buy the Hollywood Bowl
09:13He could make new deals
09:15He could put in anybody he wants
09:17Jet, it wouldn't do no harm to go look at the place, would it?
09:23Oh, I don't reckon there'd be no harm in that
09:30I'm gonna throw in all these buildings as part of the deal
09:33Won't cost you a cent
09:35Now you'll notice the trees are all in A1 condition
09:38Solid wood, every one of them
09:40And loaded with sap, too
09:41This here is a famous traveling sidewalk
09:44Takes you right up the hill with no effort on your part
09:47Just stand still and ride
09:50Gives you a beautiful view of Hollywood Bowl
09:53Now, isn't this wonderful?
09:54Saves wear and tear on the shoe leather
09:56And this is just one of the features
09:58Of this wonderful investment you're making, Mr. Clampett
10:01Come right along with old Honest Hang
10:04Well, what do you think of that, Granny?
10:05Just like silly folks, too darn lazy to even walk
10:09Say, incidentally, if you folks buy this here bowl
10:11I'm gonna throw in that traveling sidewalk
10:13Absolutely free of charges
10:15Ain't he a nice man?
10:17Well, Mr. Jones, you sure have took nice care of this place
10:20Well, thank you, Mr. Clampett
10:22Something my mother taught me
10:25Never sell anything that isn't perfect, son
10:27Especially if you sell it to a friend
10:31Where's all them seats you was talking about?
10:33Oh, they're over here
10:35But I think the best way to see them is from the stage
10:37Why don't you all just follow me?
10:52Well, there are your 20,000 seats
10:54Land of mercy
10:55What do you think of that, Granny?
10:57Sure would hate to whitewash all them benches
11:00Hey, Carl, this will sure be a dandy place for y'all
11:03Never seen nothing better
11:06Jeffro, you run up to them top seats
11:08Way up yonder
11:10And see, can you hear me when I cut loose?
11:12Okay, Ma
11:13Now, he ain't gonna jump off that stage here
11:16There's a 10-foot drop and then water
11:23Mr. Pete, Jeffro
11:29Hey, Ma
11:29When you sing and yodel here
11:31Be careful about stepping off this here ledge
11:33There's an awful deep puddle down there
11:36Why can't you watch where you're going?
11:39Is he gonna be all right?
11:40Yeah, that won't hurt Jeffro
11:42His clothes will tighten up a little
11:44But he'll dry out in no time
11:46Well, Mr. Clampett
11:47How do you like our bow?
11:51Right nice, Mr. Jones
11:52There, by the way
11:53I think it's time we dropped all these formalities
11:56From here on in, why don't we just make it Jed and Henry
12:01I thought you said your name was Harry
12:03Harry Herbert
12:04Yeah, it is
12:06Harry Herbert Henry
12:07H-H-H-Jones
12:09My mother used to say
12:11Those three H's stand for honesty, humility, and honor
12:16Why don't you just call me what everybody else does
12:19Honest Hank
12:20It's a mighty dandy name, all right
12:22One you can be proud of
12:23Well, like I was starting to say
12:25This is a mighty fine place here
12:27For whittling and yodeling
12:29But I don't think it's any great shakes
12:31For hunting and fishing like you said it was
12:33You know something, Jed?
12:34You're absolutely right
12:35Just goes to prove how long I've been away from the hills
12:39But I got another piece of property
12:40Not too far from here
12:42It's the greatest spot for hunting you ever saw
12:45Full of animals
12:46And I'm gonna sell it to you dirt cheap
12:48It's called Griffith Park
12:51Yeah, named after my dear old mother
12:54That's a mighty pretty name for a woman
12:56Griffith Park
12:57Are you?
12:58Uh, Jed, why don't we take a run over there
13:01And have a look around?
13:02Well, that sounds like a mighty fine idea
13:04Granny, Ellie Mae, Pearl
13:05We're all going over and looking at a piece of hunting property
13:08Mr. Jones has got
13:09Hank
13:10Honest Hank
13:12Pearl looks like somebody's throwed a spell on her
13:14Yeah, she acts like she's in some kind of a trance or something
13:18Pearl?
13:20Pearl?
13:20Pearl?
13:21Pearl?
13:23Pearl?
13:24Pearl!
13:25Pearl?
13:27Pearl?
13:29Pearl?
13:31Pearl!
13:33Pearl!
13:35Pearl!
13:36Pearl!
13:39Pearl!
13:41Pearl!
13:41Pearl!
13:42Pearl!
13:43Pearl!
13:45Pearl!
13:45Pearl!
13:47Pearl!
13:48I was daydreaming.
13:50We saw going over to look at another place called Griffith Park.
13:53Does that mean you've decided against this one?
13:56No, I ain't decided nothing yet, Pearl.
13:58Come on, everybody, let's go.
14:19Ain't this beautiful?
14:20Just like back home.
14:23Ain't smelt piney woods like that since we left, Pearl.
14:26Uncle Jed, you just gotta buy this.
14:28Or we can build us a cabin in here and come hunting all the time.
14:31I ain't gonna shoot at my critters, are you?
14:33When you go hunting, Ellie, you gotta have something to shoot at.
14:36You leave my critters, Pete.
14:39Ellie, I'm free.
14:40Ellie, me, turn him loose.
14:42Oh, if he hurts every one of my critters,
14:44I'll hit him on the jaw so hard he'll be able to look down his back
14:47without even turning his head.
14:49Now, Ellie, ain't nobody gonna do nothing to nobody.
14:53Or they're critters.
14:55Besides, they ain't ours yet.
14:56We ain't bought the place.
15:00How much you asking for this here Griffith Park, Mr. Jones?
15:04The Hank, Pearl.
15:05Call me Hank.
15:06All right, Hank.
15:08Never mind holding hands, Randy.
15:11Pearl, that's a sure trick of a crooked horse trader
15:14so you won't look too close at the horse.
15:17Or listen too close to the price.
15:22How much you all want for this here Griffith Park, Hank, honey?
15:32Not a sign of anybody inside the house.
15:34Nor outside.
15:36Oh, well, we're probably worried about nothing.
15:38You know, the odds are a thousand to one
15:40against this confidence man singling out the clambets,
15:42and even greater against them falling for it.
15:44You know, Chief, according to the circular,
15:46one of his favorite schemes is selling Hollywood Bowl.
15:49Isn't that a wild one?
15:50Can you imagine anyone ignorant enough to actually...
15:54Hollywood Bowl?
15:55And hurry.
15:56Yes.
16:03Well, Jed, you old hound dog,
16:05what do you think of my collection of critters?
16:06I ain't never seen nothing like it in all my born days.
16:09Granny, how about that?
16:10If that don't beat all,
16:12a jackass with stripes.
16:16Granny, you ain't seen nothing yet
16:17to eat nothing bobcats with stripes.
16:19But them rascals is so high,
16:21and as long as from here that poofs.
16:23Yeah, they's what they call tigers.
16:25Cost me a heap of money,
16:26bring them all the way from India.
16:27Mr. Jones, you ought to be ashamed.
16:30Putting all them critters in cages and pens,
16:32don't you know critters like to be turned loose?
16:34Now, you simmer down, Ellie.
16:36The only reason I put them in pens and cages
16:39is so your pa could look them over,
16:41see what he's buying.
16:42I didn't want to have to have them go
16:44traipsing all through the brush.
16:45Very nice of a minute, Ellie Mae.
16:47Well, I reckon,
16:48but turn them loose quick as you can.
16:50Yeah, I will, I will, Ellie.
16:53That's a wonderful girl you got there.
16:55As a matter of fact,
16:56you got a wonderful family.
16:57My kind of people, as mother would say.
17:00Has anybody seen Jethro?
17:02Jethro?
17:03It's awful hard to keep track of him
17:05amongst all these animals.
17:08I didn't mean that the way it sounded.
17:10Of course, Jethro's a good-looking boy.
17:13Well, why shouldn't he be?
17:15His mother's so beautiful.
17:19Well, I'll be doggone.
17:21Ain't they funny-looking little fellas?
17:25Yeah, I don't blame you for staring.
17:28I told Ma I looked funny in a necktie.
17:31Dad, Dad, that wild daughter of yours
17:34has jumped in with them bars.
17:35I seen her.
17:36She's in there with them big marmons
17:38coming on quick.
17:41Sure have been a hankering
17:42to meet up with you fellas.
17:44Pa says when his pa was a boy,
17:46there's lots of you fellas
17:47in the hills back home.
17:49But by the time I come along,
17:51you'd all gone away.
17:53Sure do like you.
17:55You're so nice and soft and furry.
17:58You're friendly, too.
18:00When my pa buys this here Griffith Park,
18:02I'll take you home with me.
18:04There's a heap more room there
18:05to roam around than you got here.
18:08There's some nice big trees
18:09for you and me to climb.
18:19Oh, I can't look.
18:21One hug from those powerful arms
18:23could kill you.
18:24Don't squeeze too hard, Ellie Mae.
18:26Mr. Jones is worried
18:28you might hurt his buyer.
18:30All right, huh?
18:40Get out of the road,
18:42you cranky hillbilly.
18:43Get that pile of junk
18:45off the freeway.
18:47Can you believe it?
18:48I wish I'd have broke my shotgun
18:49and they wouldn't talk back
18:50to us that way.
18:52This driver of this road
18:53sure ain't very polite.
18:54They's downright mean
18:56a honking and a yelling
18:57like they.
18:58They ought to be taught
18:59to drive with what you call
19:00courtesy.
19:01That means good manners.
19:02You've got a wonderful idea
19:04there, young fella.
19:05And your Uncle Jed
19:06is just the man
19:07who can do it.
19:07Me?
19:08How?
19:09Well, if you want this road,
19:11people would have to drive
19:12like you say.
19:13Is it for sale?
19:15Well, it wasn't,
19:17but I've decided
19:19to make you a package deal.
19:20I'm going to sell you
19:22Griffith Park,
19:23the Hollywood Bowl,
19:24and the freeway
19:26that connects them.
19:28Tell you what,
19:29you come on home
19:30for supper with us
19:31and we talk it out.
19:32Jedrow,
19:33you stop at the Hollywood Bowl.
19:35I want to take another look
19:36at where I'm going
19:37to be performing.
19:38Okay, Ma.
19:50Jed,
19:52you and Mr. Jones
19:53go on inside
19:54and talk out your business.
19:56Jedrow and Ellie Mae
19:57and me will be back
19:57directly.
19:59Where are you going, Granny?
20:00I'll tell you later.
20:01Jedrow, drive around the back.
20:03We've got a few things
20:03to pick up.
20:10Wonderful little woman.
20:12Reminds me for all the world
20:13of my sweet little
20:14gentle gray-haired old mother.
20:24You heard me.
20:25I said if I let you
20:26use our freeway,
20:27do you promise to drive with...
20:29What is it again, Jedrow?
20:31Courtesy.
20:32Yes.
20:33That means being polite
20:34to other folks driving
20:35and not speeding
20:36or honking
20:37or yelling at them.
20:41We're cutting in
20:42and out of lanes.
20:43Over at school,
20:44they told us
20:44that causes accidents.
20:46Well, speak up.
20:47Do you promise?
20:48Yes, ma'am.
20:49All right.
20:49Get back in your car
20:50and pass through.
20:53Next.
21:02Mr. Clambert,
21:03I hope we're not too late.
21:04We'd have been here sooner,
21:05but we had to avoid
21:06the freeway.
21:07There's an unbelievable jam-up.
21:09That Mr. Jones
21:10is a crook.
21:11I hope you didn't
21:11give him no money.
21:13Ah, Pearl,
21:14I didn't give him no money.
21:16Well, where is he?
21:17Inside.
21:18And you know something?
21:19He ain't no mountain man.
21:21He can't hold
21:21his liquor worth shucks.
21:24Mr. Clambert?
21:26Now, how would you like
21:27to buy the city
21:28of San Francisco?
21:31See what I mean?
21:32And he didn't have
21:32no more than half a jug.
21:54Well, now it's time to say goodbye
21:56to Jed and all his kin.
21:58They would like to thank you folks
22:00for kindly dropping in.
22:02We're all invited back next week
22:03to this locality
22:05to have a heaping helping
22:07of their hospitality.
22:09Hillbilly, that is.
22:11Set a spell.
22:12Take your shoes off.
22:14Y'all come back now.
22:15Hear?
22:16This has been a Filmways presentation.
22:19This has been a Filmways presentation.
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