- 16 minutes ago
Mrs. Drysdale attempts to rid herself of the Clampetts before a high-society historical society leader, Mrs. Smith-Standish, arrives. Instead, Mrs. Smith-Standish is charmed by the hillbillies' authentic lifestyle, leaving Mrs. Drysdale horrified as she is forced to partake in old-fashioned chores.
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00:00Come and listen to my story about a man named Jed, a poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed.
00:05And then one day he was shooting at some food, and up through the ground come a bubbling crude.
00:11Oil, that is, black gold, Texas tea.
00:16Well, the first thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire.
00:19The kinfolk said, Jed, move away from there.
00:22Said, California is the place you ought to be.
00:24So they loaded up the truck and they moved to Beverly.
00:26Beverly Hills, that is, swimming pools, movie stars.
00:32The Beverly Hillbillies.
01:16Howdy, Pearl. Have a nice trip into town.
01:18No, I didn't. Every place we went, folks stared at us.
01:22Well, Pearl, you got to expect that.
01:24As a woman like you, dressed to the teeth, showing a pretty ankle, folks are bound to stare.
01:29That's me. They were staring at this old truck.
01:32I know it's mine, Jed, but it just ain't fitting for Beverly Hills.
01:36You know what a couple of people yelled at us, Uncle Jed?
01:39They yelled, get a horse.
01:41I reckon they'd stare more at a horse.
01:44Jed, why don't you get one of them big, shiny limousines like Mr. Guy did?
01:50Oh, this old truck's right handy for fetching and toting.
01:55He's a little polish here and there.
01:57Yes, Drew.
01:57You get you a piece of brick and hone all this rust off here and then go over the whole
02:01thing with coal oil.
02:03Say, Uncle Jed, if you was to get yourself one of them there fancy limousines, I could be your chauffeur
02:08and drive you around in style.
02:10Yeah. You could sit in the back seat, all dude it up, and folks would think you was a duke
02:15or an earl or something.
02:16Yeah.
02:17Oh, I don't reckon that fooled nobody.
02:20Besides, I ain't particularly anxious to have folks think I'm something I ain't.
02:24You're a millionaire?
02:25Well, I bet you that's just as good as a duke or an earl.
02:29All right, just do a ticker round and go to Polison.
02:40You know, Jed, Mr. Drysdale could help you get into high society.
02:45You could join one of those fancy clubs and go to stylish parties and get my picture in the paper.
02:51I mean, get your picture in the paper.
02:53I don't hanker for high society, Pearl, but if you do, I'll speak to Mr. Drysdale.
02:57You tell me that when it comes to society, his wife is one of the first hogs to the trough.
03:04It ain't for me, Jed, but it sure would be nice for Ellie Mae.
03:08Why, she could be a debutante and have a coming-up party and...
03:13What's that?
03:14Yeah, it's a party where unmarried society girls meet unmarried society fellas.
03:19Why, Ellie Mae and me could get a...
03:21That is, Ellie Mae could get a husband in no time.
03:25Jed, you got my butter churn patched up.
03:28Well, ain't got to quite finish it, Granny.
03:29Jed, you have to do your chores out here in front where everyone can see you.
03:33No, Pearl, but the light's better here, and these iron chairs here make good workbenches.
03:40What'll the neighbors think with all this stuff out here?
03:43Pearl's right, Jed.
03:44It does look like we're showing off.
03:48Showing off?
03:49I bet there's not another family in Beverly Hills that has a butter churn like that.
03:53Paul, you got a very spin wheel thing?
03:56She's going to show me how to make Lindsay Wolfie thread.
03:58Oh, Huck.
04:00How am I ever going to get this family in high society?
04:03What's that, Aunt Pearl?
04:05Well, society is where a bunch of high-class folks do a bunch of high-class things.
04:13Like what?
04:14Well, I like drinking tea and playing bridge and having parties and getting dressed up
04:21and going to the Opry and getting wrote up in the paper.
04:28Yeah, I give up.
04:30You can't make silk purses out of sow's ears.
04:36And while I'm sure that the bank examiners will find our fiscal situation to be sound, I am extremely anxious.
04:43Oh, Melvin!
04:45Miss Hathaway, do you know who's coming?
04:48Yes, the bank examiners.
04:50Well, I'm sure they'll find your bank ever so tidy.
04:53Now, to important matters.
04:55I have just received this telegram from Priscilla Ralph Alden Smith-Standish.
05:01She has consented to become our host guest.
05:04Oh, surely you're just staying.
05:07Well, Priscilla Ralph Alden Smith-Standish is going to be staying at our house?
05:12Yes, indeed, Melvin!
05:15Well, who in blue blazers is she?
05:17Yes, actually.
05:18Did you hear that?
05:20Melvin, how can you be so uninformed and run a bank?
05:23Well, I have you helping me, dear.
05:26Thank goodness.
05:26Mrs. Smith-Standish is only the president of the Women's Federation for the Preservation and Perpetuation of the FFT of
05:34A.
05:35First family traditions of America.
05:37Well, bully for the FFT of A.
05:39But I'm expecting the SBE of C.
05:42State bank examiners of California.
05:48Oh, wait, Melvin.
05:50Do I have your permission to put everything in readiness for the arrival of Mrs. Smith-Standish?
05:54Oh, you have indeed.
05:55Good. I'll have the clampets moved out immediately.
05:58Fine.
06:01But?
06:03Margaret, come back here.
06:05Now, what were you saying about the clampets?
06:07I intend to rid our neighborhood of those uncouth, unsightly hillbillies before the arrival of our prestigious house guests.
06:15You do, and the president of the FFT of A will be staying at the YWCA with you.
06:22Well, we're good now, Granny.
06:24What room do you want me to put it in?
06:25Well, I'll rip it in the kitchen, Jed.
06:27And whilst I'm showing Ellie how to work it, I can watch my vittles cooking.
06:31All right, I've got to do a little more fixin' on the bobbin'.
06:34I'll have that out in a minute.
06:36Is it hard to learn, Granny?
06:38Well, it's a might tricky at first.
06:40But once you catch on to mixin' the wool and the flax together, it comes easy.
06:45Don't you go to weavin' and spinnin' in here.
06:48I just scrubbed and polished this floor, and I don't want no Lindsay Woolsey dust from that crazy old contraption
06:54messin' it up.
06:55What do you mean, crazy old contraption?
06:58I mean that old thing.
06:59Now get it out of here.
07:00What should I put in the kitchen, Granny?
07:02You put that snack jam right in the middle of this room.
07:05Don't you dare.
07:06This floor is clean enough to eat off of.
07:09Good.
07:09Ellie, fetch my pot of jowls off of the stove.
07:13You splatter one drop of jowl juice on this floor, and I'll wrap this spinnin' wheel around your neck.
07:35Drive on out to the airport and pick up Mrs. Smith-Standish.
07:38I have some slum clearance work to perform.
07:44Well, howdy there, Mrs. Drysdale.
07:46Sure isn't I surprised to have you come and visit.
07:49Pearl and me was just talkin' about you this mornin'.
07:51Pearl's got a hankerin' to get into society, and I says,
07:54Well, I hear a tale when it comes to society,
07:57Mrs. Drysdale's one of the first hogs to the trough.
08:03Say, you're lookin' a mite green around the gills.
08:05Come on inside and have a mess of Granny's jowls and sorghum.
08:09That'll put you to feelin' bushy-tailed.
08:12I'm expecting very important company.
08:15Priscilla Ralph Alden Smith-Standish.
08:18Well, bring him along. We got plenty for the whole bunch.
08:21Stick that.
08:22Priscilla Ralph Alden Smith-Standish is only one woman,
08:26and probably the world's greatest authority on colonial history,
08:30early American genealogical origins,
08:32and 17th and 18th century artifacts.
08:35And she is the esteemed president of the FFT of A.
08:40Well, we sure would be proud to meet her.
08:43I shall call upon every resource to avert such a social catastrophe.
08:48Well, thank you very kindly.
08:52May I send a truck to pick up this debris?
08:55I don't know.
08:56I'm sure Granny would let you use anything you wanted,
08:59but I don't think she wants silk.
09:01I would only want it for the rubbish, collector.
09:04Yeah, you're right.
09:05They make nice gifts, but like I said...
09:06Oh, I'm not.
09:07This time grows short.
09:09You are a disgrace to Beverly Hills.
09:11You and this pile of junkies.
09:13Why don't you go back to the woods and live in a cave where you belong?
09:16Bravo!
09:17My sentiments precisely.
09:18You are indeed a disgrace.
09:20And the sooner you leave this lovely community, the better.
09:23Just a doggone minute, Baxo.
09:26You be careful what you say to our Granny.
09:28Give her a little bit of a kiss.
09:30No, no, no.
09:32How dare her to say them things about sweet little Granny.
09:38Herb, I hope you ain't in no hurry to get into high society.
09:43I just don't think that Miss Drysdale is going to be too quick about giving you a leg up.
09:54You say Mrs. Drysdale is here?
09:57Yes, ma'am.
09:57If it's all right, I'll take the bags on over to her house.
10:00Of course.
10:24There goes that dad blasted music again.
10:28One of these days, I'm going to tear on all these walls and find out where that music's coming from.
10:33He says there's a ghost playing that music.
10:35Maybe it's the rascal that used to live here.
10:37Sure don't know many tunes.
10:39He keeps playing the same one over and over again.
10:49Jethro, why don't you ask your teacher over to Potts School about that music?
10:52I'll do it, Uncle Jet.
10:53But one thing I know for sure, somebody's going to come to that door.
10:57They always do when you hear that music.
11:03See?
11:04Sure had a peg right?
11:06By the way, your mom wants you in the kitchen.
11:12Howdy, ma'am.
11:13Tell me, is this your loom out here?
11:15No, ma'am.
11:16That belongs to Granny.
11:17May I speak to her, please?
11:19You sure can.
11:20Come on in.
11:22I have reason to believe.
11:24Ah, what have we here?
11:26That dear is my daughter, Ellie Mae.
11:28The spinning wheel?
11:29Where did you get it?
11:30It's Granny.
11:31She says it's been in her family a couple hundred years or better.
11:35I've got to meet Granny immediately.
11:38Oh, forgive me.
11:39I'm Mrs. Smith-Sandy.
11:40Well, howdy, ma'am.
11:43I'm Jet Clampett, and like I say, this here is my daughter, Ellie Mae.
11:47How do you do?
11:48Daddy.
11:49Granny's out in the kitchen churning butter.
11:51Why don't you run fetch her, Ellie Mae?
11:52Oh, no, please.
11:53Churning butter?
11:54You mean by hand?
11:55Oh, no, ma'am.
11:56With a churn.
11:58That's another thing that's been in her family a power for a long time.
12:01Take me to her, will you, please?
12:03I'd be a pleasure, ma'am.
12:05Oh, no, ma'am.
12:06Ain't no use, Granny.
12:07You can't get a polish on this pewter junk.
12:10It's a mistake you can, Pearl.
12:12How can a body set a decent table with this kind of stuff?
12:16Why, if we was to have company, we'd all be disgraced.
12:20How enchanting.
12:22A vignette from the past.
12:24Oh, don't move.
12:25Oh, what a picture.
12:27The homespun dress.
12:29The colonial dust cap.
12:32The churn.
12:34The pewter.
12:36The old coffee mill.
12:38Oh, it's a tableau from another century.
12:42Who do you reckon she is, Pearl?
12:45Dog-dip I know.
12:47May I get some pictures?
12:48What kind of pictures?
12:50Still pictures.
12:51She's a dead-blame webinar.
12:56Oh, we got a trap.
12:58Well, now, hold on.
12:59Whoa, whoa, wait, wait.
13:01Hey, you'll let her take your gun out.
13:02We'll have to rush her bare hands in.
13:04I don't figure this lady is no revenueer.
13:07She's as powerful as took with the old thing.
13:10How long have you had this rifle?
13:12Well, my pa gave it to me.
13:14His pa gave it to him.
13:15I reckon his pa done the same.
13:17Marvelous.
13:18And the churn.
13:19How long have you had this?
13:20Granny, ain't that the churn that's safe?
13:23Save your great-great-granny from the engines?
13:25It sure is.
13:26Oh, tell me about it, would you?
13:34Well, my great-great-granny was a tote in this churn
13:39from the cow barn to the cabin.
13:42When two big Indians jumped out of the woods to scalp her,
13:46she had beautiful hair, just like mine.
13:50Get all the story, Granny.
13:52Well, she was out of sorts to begin with
13:54because it was a hot day,
13:56and the butter kept a-melting.
13:58And with them two redskins trying to snatch her hair,
14:01that riled her up but good.
14:02So she yanked up the dasher,
14:04and she whacked one of them with it.
14:06Then she upended the churn over the other one.
14:09That old Indian ran out into the woods,
14:11all covered with hot, melted butter.
14:14Do you know what that is?
14:17No, what is it?
14:18That is a hog jowl.
14:21Oh, well, thanks, dear,
14:22but I have other plans for lunch.
14:25I have just been pelted with those repulsive objects
14:28by your friends and our neighbors, the Clampetts.
14:31Milburn, this is the last straw.
14:34Call out the militia.
14:35Have the neighborhood rezoned.
14:37Write our congressmen.
14:38Do anything that's necessary
14:40but get rid of those hillbillies.
14:43Oh, Margaret, they're not a bad sort.
14:45They're barbarians.
14:47And I warn you, Milburn,
14:49just as they brought about the decay of Rome,
14:51so Beverly Hills will crumble and last...
14:54Oh, please, Margaret, relax.
14:55Oh, you don't understand such things as class war.
14:59You're of common birth.
15:00But we of the aristocracy
15:02have always had to feel the hostility of peasants.
15:07I tell you, Milburn, those Clampetts are dangerous.
15:10If they'll attack me with hot, hot, jowls,
15:12think what they might do to a woman
15:14like Priscilla Ralph Alden Smith Standish.
15:17And she's due to arrive any moment.
15:19Oh, she has arrived, Mrs. Drysdale.
15:22Your chauffeur just phoned.
15:23He dropped her off at the Clampetts,
15:25thinking you were there.
15:26Oh, they have her.
15:28She's been delivered into the hands of those savages.
15:31Well, get those savages on the phone.
15:33We'll prove to Margaret that everything is all right.
15:36This may be the oldest piece of pewter
15:38ever to be found on this continent.
15:40Now, I'm just mortified, Mrs. Smith Standish.
15:43I'm an after-cousin Jed to get rid of all this junk.
15:45Now that he has money, I'm going to throw it all out.
15:48No, no, please, it's priceless.
15:50Say, Mrs. Smith Standish,
15:51if you like old things,
15:52just wait till you get into this trunk,
15:54you'll be happy as a heifer and red clover.
15:58Oh, marvelous.
16:00Unbelievable.
16:02Is this your family Bible?
16:03Well, no, not anymore.
16:05I got too old.
16:06Commenced to crispin' and flakin' off,
16:08so they pitched in,
16:09got another one about 100 years ago.
16:10It's in there, Carlos.
16:12Well, I'll get it, Uncle Jed.
16:18Hello?
16:19Dedicated to Queen Elizabeth.
16:21Yes, ma'am, Mrs. Jethro.
16:22Mr. Clampett.
16:23This is an original Geneva Bible.
16:26It's sometimes called the Puritan Bible.
16:28400 years old.
16:30Oh, why, yes, ma'am, Mrs. Hathaway.
16:31She's right here.
16:33You want it on the phone, ma'am.
16:34Not now.
16:35Tell him I'm all tied up.
16:39Hello?
16:40Oh, she can't talk right now.
16:41She's all tied up in Uncle Jed's trunk.
16:44Hello?
16:46Hello?
16:58I thought the fresh air was reviver.
17:08Oh, Milburn, what if they've strangled my president?
17:11Oh, she's suffocated in that trunk.
17:12Mr. Drysdale, I am certain the Clavins would not do violent harm to Mrs. Smith-Standish.
17:17Jethro has a way of confusing the facts.
17:21I can't tell you how thrilled I am to participate in this historical recreation.
17:27No, honey, this is what you call spinning.
17:30You've got to hold your thread tight.
17:32I will, I will.
17:34Oh, oh, oh, I'm tired of this woman.
17:38Madam President, what have they done to you?
17:40Milburn, call the police.
17:42I want these ruffians seized and hanged immediately.
17:46What are you doing?
17:47Rescuing you from the grimy clutches of these peasants.
17:52Peasants?
17:53My dear Mrs. Drysdale, it may interest you to know that I have established almost beyond
17:57a doubt that Mr. Clampett here is a direct descendant of the first man to come ashore
18:03at Jamestown, Virginia, May 13th, 1607.
18:08What?
18:11I, you mean?
18:13I mean that when your family and my family arrived on the Mayflower, his family was waiting
18:17for them.
18:19Oh, oh, oh, oh.
18:23Oh, Mrs. Miss Tandy, surely there must be some ghastly mistake.
18:28Perhaps you're in a state of shock from the way these people mistreated you.
18:32I've never been more hospitably treated in my life.
18:35I've dined on hog jowl, sorghum, homemade bread, fresh churned butter, served on pottery
18:41that might have been unearthed at Williamsburg.
18:43And I've eaten this delicious food with ancient pewter implements that would grace any museum.
18:50That reminds me, I better go wash them dishes.
18:52Oh, Granny, you know, I'm sure that Mrs. Drysdale would consider it an honor and a pleasure
18:57if you would permit her to wash these historic dishes.
19:01What?
19:02Oh, she would indeed consider it an honor, wouldn't you, Margaret?
19:05Well, whatever Madam President says, of course.
19:10Well, I better come along and see if I've got enough lye soap.
19:13Lye soap?
19:14Oh, gasp.
19:16Make it simple.
19:18You make your own lye soap?
19:20Got to.
19:21You can't buy it in Beverly Hill.
19:23I offered to show Mrs. Drysdale how to make it, but she didn't care to learn.
19:28Mrs. Drysdale, am I to understand that you are ignorant of the process by which your own
19:32colonial ancestors made their soap?
19:35Well, Madam President, I...
19:38Oh, your education has been shamefully neglected.
19:56It's about time to add some more lye and some possum renderings, Mrs. Drysdale.
20:01Oh, Mrs. Drysdale, I hope you appreciate the historical significance of this opportunity.
20:07You are reenacting the making of soap just as it was done more than 300 years ago.
20:14Oh, yes, it's a matter of present.
20:17I'm...
20:17I'm...
20:18True!
20:19Oh!
20:22She's so happy, she's crying.
20:26I wouldn't have missed this for a million dollars, tax exempt.
20:31Oh, Chief, the bank examiners are waiting.
20:34Yes, I know, I know.
20:35Oh, Mrs. Smith-Dandish, don't forget you promised to let my wife wash dishes, too.
20:39Oh, I wouldn't think of depriving her of the thrill of handling those authentic colonial implements.
20:46And in the good old colonial way, no automatic dishwasher.
20:49Oh, heaven forbid.
20:57How you doing, Mrs. Drysdale?
20:59I can scare you up a few more things to wash if it pleasures you.
21:02Oh, no, please.
21:04Look what this lye soap has done to my head.
21:08Yeah.
21:08He is nice and pink and rosy, ain't there?
21:12Whoa, whoa, whoa!
21:13I don't blame you for chilling.
21:18I thought you left.
21:19I couldn't tear myself away from the picture of my wife washing dishes.
21:26She's taken to it like a cold hog to warm mug.
21:50Well, now it's time to say goodbye to Jed and all his kin.
21:54They would like to thank you folks for kindly dropping in.
21:57We're all invited back next week to this locality
22:00to have a heaping helping of their hospitality.
22:04Hillbilly, that is.
22:06Shut a spell.
22:08Take your shoes off.
22:09Y'all come back now.
22:11Hear?
22:12This has been a Filmways presentation.
22:13This has been a Filmways presentation.
22:14This has been a Filmways presentation.
22:16This has been a Filmways presentation.
22:17This has been a Filmways presentation.
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