- 2 days ago
Granny and Cousin Pearl are at each other's throats over who will take care of the cooking and the chores, so Jed must find ways to keep them apart.
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00:00Come and listen to my story about a man named Jed
00:02A poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed
00:05And then one day he was shooting at some food
00:08And up through the ground come a bubbling crude
00:11Oil, that is, black gold, Texas tea
00:16Well, the first thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire
00:18The kinfolk said, Jed, move away from there
00:21Said, California is the place you ought to be
00:24So they loaded up the truck and they moved to Beverly
00:26Hills, that is, swimming pools, movie stars
00:31The Beverly Hillbillies
01:04You ought to be ashamed to let me sleep this late
01:07Why half the day is gone is putting me a son up
01:10Man's sake's alive, I ain't stayed a bed this late in 72 years
01:16Morning, Granny
01:16Now, Jethro, don't you yell at me
01:18I'm gonna get breakfast just as soon as I can
01:20Ma's done give us breakfast already, Granny
01:22And now she's got us cleaning the house from top to bottom
01:25How come no one woke me?
01:27Well, she says we ain't supposed to wake you
01:29That's how come she shut off your alarm clock
01:31So Pearl done it
01:33I'm sorry I took it out on you, Clock
01:35Pearl, your boss says bring you this bucket of suds
01:38Oh, morning, Granny, how's your rheumatid?
01:41What rheumatid?
01:42Well, Pearl says she was having some twinges last night
01:45That's how come she put a little Mountain Dew into your squirrel soup
01:50Pearl spiked my soup?
01:53Well, yeah, she figured it would help you to sleep
01:55And you was liking it, too, Granny
01:57You kept asking for another slug of soup
02:01Well, that's because I couldn't believe that Pearl could make such good soup
02:05Granny
02:07What are you doing up?
02:09Aunt Pearl said I was to give you your breakfast in bed
02:11Beds is for sleeping, not eating
02:13Well, Aunt Pearl said a body had to be waited on and took care of
02:16When it gets to be your age
02:17My age?
02:19Boy, I'm in a prime of life
02:21You tell your Aunt Pearl that
02:22Never mind, I'll tell her myself
02:25Nah, don't get riled up at Pearl
02:27I reckon she's just trying to be helpful
02:28She's about as helpful as an alligator in a swimming hole
02:35I'd rather be caught twixt a pair of scrappin' bobcats
02:39Than two women trying to run the same house
02:43Takes a line
02:44With all these newfangled gadgets, work around here is just plain
02:51Where you going with that, Jethreen?
02:53Outside
02:53I told you to take it up to Granny's bedroom
02:56Granny told me to take it outside
02:58You're taking your orders from me and not from Granny
03:01That poor woman is old and tired and we owe it to her to let her rest
03:07Just hope and pray when I get to be her age
03:10That somebody will be lookin' after me
03:15You can quit hopin' and prayin'
03:18And if you keep messin' around my kitchen
03:20You ain't gonna get to be my age
03:24Don't stand there, do as Granny says
03:26Take it outside
03:28How do you feel, Granny?
03:29Did you sleep off the soup?
03:31I mean, did the soup see...
03:32Did the soup help you to sleep?
03:35Now you listen to me, Pearl
03:36And you listen good
03:37When you was a baby and you needed it, I spanked you
03:40And when you was a toddler, I paddled you
03:43And when you was a youngin', I swissed you
03:45And I can still do it, Pearl
03:47Besides, the target's a heap much bigger today
03:50Now, honey, don't be riled
03:52You was lookin' poorly last night
03:54And I figured you needed a little rest
03:56Honest, you look like the dogs that had you under the porch
04:03You can't scare me with that
04:05I got a head of steam bigger than it has
04:09Gonna make pretty music when you make a check like this, Uncle Jed
04:12That ain't for playin' with, Jethro
04:14You bust that and you hear Ma'll tearin' you good
04:16Ma, I didn't wash the front of the house as high up as I can get
04:21I'll need a ladder to get the whole thing
04:23I'll get you to wash the hole outside the house?
04:26Yes, sir, she said every inch of it
04:28Well, if she ain't the cleanest woman
04:30Well, come on, I'll help you
04:35Granny, I told you, Jethro, you could hurt a potty with a hard skill in my bed
04:41Oh, Jethro, protect you, Ma
04:43How can Granny hurt you, Ma?
04:45You said she was too old to get out of bed
04:47I don't know if she was too old to get out of bed
04:49Oh, she's an old one
04:52Oh, I'll get it, Ma
04:55Hey, Jethro, that looks like fun
04:59I'll swing you now, but you've got to swing my ladder, Jethro
05:08I told you I wasn't for playin' on now, get down from there, come on
05:11Come on, man, girl
05:13You've been over-drawn boy off the chandelier, will you?
05:16I'll get him off of there if you get Granny off of me
05:18Granny?
05:20Granny?
05:21You see him? He tried to kill me
05:24Oh!
05:25That's enough, fellas, it's gone far enough
05:27All of you
05:33Now, Jethro's gone to fetch the truck around
05:35And we all went for a nice long drive
05:37And cool off some of the tempers in his family
05:39Hey, Pearl, ain't Cousin Jethraina coming?
05:42Oh, no, honey
05:43She wants to practice her singing
05:45She can go sightseeing another time
06:03Listen to that
06:06You ought to be ashamed of yourself runnin' off and leavin' a child, that's sick
06:10They're three nights sick, she's singin'
06:12Well, she's singin' sick
06:14With your information, my daughter's twang in for the stage
06:18Well, now, that's one thing she can do
06:20Drive a stage
06:21Ah, snap, and a backbiting twist you, too, has got to stop
06:26Quick as Jethro gets here with the truck
06:28He's gonna take a nice long drive and show Pearl some amazing sight
06:32She ain't never gonna see no more amazing sight
06:34Than she sees every morning when she looks in the mirror
06:37I wouldn't talk if I was you
06:39Okay, Pop
06:40Yet here comes a truck and there's nobody a-driving it
06:50What's the trouble, Jethro?
06:51It's out of gas, Uncle Jed
06:52They ain't even enough to get to the filling station
06:55Yeah, I'll tell you what, sir
06:57Enemy, you run the house to get Granny Jug
06:59The big one
07:00Ooh
07:01Don't tell me that child ain't sick
07:04Nobody makes a noise like that on purpose
07:06You're gonna be sorry you said them things
07:09When Jethroen commences singin' with a big orchestra like Rudy Valley
07:12Ooh
07:15Rudy Valley and his Connecticut Yankees
07:19Did you hear that, Jed?
07:20Your traitor cousin Pearl is lettin' her daughter desert to the Yankees
07:29Well, I reckon they're gettin' what they deserve
07:43Guess what, Ma?
07:44They tell me at school there's lots of movie stars live on this street
07:47Oh, do you reckon that Francis X Bushman lives in one of them houses?
07:52I'd be a bit surprised
07:53Oh, my stars and garters
07:55If I was to meet him face to face, I'd bank that away
08:00So would he
08:02What'd she say, Ellie?
08:04Well, she said
08:05Look at that big house down there
08:06I bet you the movie star lives in that one
08:08Oh, Jethroen, drive up the driveway
08:10And I'll go to the door and ask for directions
08:12Directions to where, Ma?
08:15Directions to the next corner, who cares?
08:18You didn't stop
08:19Well, I know how to get to the next corner
08:22Oh, you know we passed it
08:24Why, that might have been Raymond Navara's house
08:27I might have got acquainted with him
08:28And told him how I play piano at the movie theater back home
08:31Why, I could have played and sung
08:34The song I wrote for the chariot race in Ben-Hur
08:38Simmer down, Pearl
08:39I don't reckon that was Mr. Navarro's house
08:41I got a good look up the driveway as we passed
08:44The barn door was open
08:46There wasn't a span of horses or a chariot in there
08:49Well, slow down anyway, Jethro
08:51Plan sakes, if I was to see
08:53Rod LaRock or John Gilbert or Hoot Gibson
08:57I wouldn't even have time to ask for their autograph
09:02Some women is just plain man crazy
09:05What'd she say, Ellie?
09:06Well, she said so
09:08Let's drive down to the business part of town, Jethro
09:11And show Pearl some of the beautiful buildings and stores they got there
09:15Okay, Uncle Jet
09:16Tell your Aunt Pearl not to fret
09:18They's been there, too
09:20Hey, Pearl, Granny said
09:21Never mind, Ellie, drive on, Jethro
09:24I think we'll see some movie stars down there
09:37Come in, folks
09:38The movie's about to begin
09:39By the way, the wax figures out front are by courtesy of the Beverly Hills Movie Museum
09:47Ducky Aunt Pearl, there's a movie picture to you up yonder
09:50Yeah, I wonder if they need a right, good first-class piano player
09:56Why, do you know one?
09:58Now, I have taken all of...
10:00Say, Pearl, ain't them movie stars out in front of that theater?
10:04Top of my Jethro
10:09I can't believe it
10:10It's Douglas Fairbanks, Rudolph Valentino, and William S. Hart
10:15I have never seen one woman as man-crazy and movie star-crazy as William S. Hart
10:21Let me off of here
10:23Jethro, drive on before we embarrass them poor fellas
10:26Bill, honey, you're my hero
10:28Yoo-hoo, yoo-hoo, sing
10:30Hi, Jethro, let's go for a swim
10:34I'm too hungry, Ellie Mae
10:35All that driving around give me an appetite
10:37Yeah, I reckon all that fresh air give us all that appetite
10:40I'm empty as last year's bird's nest myself
10:43Buddy, time to
10:44I reckon I got time for a little friend before Biddle
10:47Hurry up, Ellie Mae
10:48I could eat a horse
10:49Well, just everybody relax
10:51I'll have Biddle's the cooking for you can say Jack Robertson
10:55Jack Robertson
10:58And you stay out of my kitchen
11:01I believe that kitchen happens to belong to my cousin Jeth
11:05Well, I said Granny
11:06And Granny's is closer than Cousins
11:08Now, when the Granny's on the wife's side
11:10I've got clamped blood in my veins
11:15You want to keep it there
11:16You stay out of my kitchen
11:19Hey, Uncle Jed
11:21Come on back
11:22Today's gonna be a fight
11:23Oh, I don't fight nobody twice my age
11:27There ain't nobody twice your age
11:28I happen to be on the sunny side of 45
11:30Well, then move into the shade
11:32You're drying up something awful
11:36Now, hold on, hold on
11:38Who's closer related to you, Jed?
11:40Her or me?
11:40I is, because I's a Granny
11:42You're a mother-in-law
11:43I'm blood cousin
11:44You're gonna be
11:45Now, now, I reckon you're both just as close related to me as folks can be
11:50Because I love you both equal
11:52And it pleasure me if you'd shake hands
11:54And come out fighting
11:55Come on now, shake hands
11:59Granny, you start it off
12:01Come on
12:03Now, shake hands
12:05Come on, Granny
12:06Shake hands with Pearl
12:10There you are
12:11Now, Granny
12:12Say something nice to Pearl
12:16Come on
12:17Say something nice
12:19Pearl
12:21I never did see anything prettier than the weather is today
12:27Now, Granny
12:29Well, that was friendly
12:32Well, say something nice and friendly about Pearl
12:39Don't force her, Jed
12:40She ain't forcing her
12:41She's just trying to think up something extra special nice
12:44Now, eat your grand
12:45Yeah, and it ain't easy
12:47See?
12:48Oh, Pearl
12:49She's always bragging on you
12:51How pretty you are
12:52What a nice figure you got?
12:55I bragged on Pearl's figure
12:57You sure did
12:58You said Pearl got the kind of figure a man likes
13:01Yep
13:02And then I said
13:03Too bad a man didn't get it instead of Pearl
13:06I wouldn't talk if I had a figure as bony as you
13:10Now, Pearl
13:10You're built like a sack full of horseshoes
13:16And you're built like a sack full of doorknobs
13:19Now, let me tell you
13:20Uncle Jed
13:21Uncle Jed, you're breaking up a good fight
13:23Yeah, so why don't you go out and help your sister Jethreen
13:25What's she doing?
13:26I don't know
13:27If I know what she's doing, I'll go help her
13:28Oh, you never let me have any fun
13:30Now, I'm asking you just as nice as I know how
13:33To stop all this backbiting and bickering
13:35You're both fine-looking women
13:37I'm proud to be kin to you
13:40Why, if folks didn't know
13:42They'd think you was Ellie Mae's sisters
13:44Huh?
13:44Oh, Ellie, honey
13:50Why don't you take these two pretty girls
13:52Swimming down to the Seaman Pond?
13:54That ought to cool them off
13:55In the day to winter?
13:58Oh, the water stays warm all year round, Aunt Pearl
14:00Yeah, must be fed by some kind of hot mineral springs or something
14:03Oh, that ought to be mighty good for your rheumatiz, Granny
14:08And I'll fix lunch while you're swimming
14:12I told you to stay out of my kitchen
14:14And I told you that...
14:16Now, that's enough
14:17And I hear one more word spoke in anger
14:20Out of either one of you
14:21Dog, if I ain't gonna take a switch to you
14:24Aunt Pearl, Granny ain't too fond of swimming
14:26But I'd be mighty proud if you'd go with me
14:30Oh, that's a mighty sweet invite, Ellie Mae
14:32Earl, did you bring some swimming clothes?
14:35Yeah, I did
14:36Well, now, you run along and get into them
14:39Well, I don't...
14:40Come on, put them on
14:45Bye, doggies
14:47I'll bet you Pearl in them swimming clothes
14:49Has got the figure of a young girl
14:51She better give it back
14:52Before she stretches it out of shape anymore
14:55I didn't say it in anger
14:57I'm smiling
15:06Well, I'm ready for the water
15:09She looks like she's been in it for six days
15:15Pearl, you are one of the finest looking women
15:18Ever to come down out of the hill
15:19And you're extra fetching in your swimming clothes
15:22I made it myself
15:23The ticket, you say
15:25It's all handwork
15:26No
15:27Yep, every gore and gusset and dart and tuck and ruffling and rick like
15:33I did it all myself
15:34Well, doggies, that's mighty pretty
15:37And so are you, Pearl
15:38Granny, did you ever see anything like Pearl in her bathing suit?
15:44No, sir, I ain't
15:47Come on, I'll show you the pond
15:50Allie and Jethro's down there waiting for you
15:52Hold on there
15:54What do you think you're doing?
15:55Fixing to cut Allie's hair
15:58Why get off short, Paul
15:59So it won't get in my eyes when I swim
16:01I'd sooner cut off my arm
16:03Than that beautiful hair of yours
16:05Now don't you never get a notion like that in your head again
16:08Nor are you neither
16:08You mean I gotta let my hair grow longer, Sally's
16:11Jethro, why don't you try using your head for thinking?
16:14I have tried, Ma
16:16And it hurts
16:18Keep eye on these two
16:19I gotta go back up the house
16:20I will, Jethro
16:22Hey, Ma
16:23You wanna race Ellie and me to the fur end of the pond and back?
16:26In the water?
16:27Yes
16:28And get my swimming suit wet?
16:31Yeah
16:31Oh, you do bear watching
16:34Both of you
16:39Is them ham hocks?
16:42Yeah, Ma
16:43Where'd they come from?
16:44From pigs, I reckon
16:46How did they get here?
16:48I took them out of the icebox
16:49I was getting awful hungry
16:51Was you gonna eat them raw?
16:53Of course not
16:54Huh
16:54I was gonna keep my swimming trunks on
16:56That's okay
16:59Ellie Mae
17:00Yeah, Pearl
17:01What is this thing?
17:02It looks like a stove on wheels
17:04Well, that's what it is
17:05It's called a portable barbecue
17:07You just put a fire in there
17:09Then you lay the meat on this thing
17:11All right
17:12Ellie Mae, you fetch some firewood
17:14Jethro
17:14You slice them ham hocks
17:22What would you like to hear next, Uncle Jeth?
17:25Well, uh, can you play Dixie?
17:27Why, sure
17:28I sure do like to sing that song
17:30It's right good for dancing, too
17:32Would you do it, Jeth?
17:34Well, if the music happens to get down around my feet
17:37I might just cut loose and stomp a spell
17:40Better take my coat off just in case it does
17:49Oh, I wish I was in the land of cotton
17:56Old times there is not forgotten
17:59Look away
18:00Look away
18:02Look away
18:03Dixieland
18:05I wish I was in Dixie
18:09Hooray
18:10Hooray
18:11In Dixieland
18:12I'll take my stand to live and die in Dixie
18:15Away
18:16Away
18:16Away
18:17Away
18:17Down South in Dixie
18:19Away
18:19Away
18:20Away
18:21Away
18:21Down South in Dixie
18:30I wish I was making me away from Pearl
18:35Away from Pearl
18:36And old Pearl
18:37And away from Pearl
18:38And Dixie
18:39Down South in Dixie
18:40Down South in Dixie
18:53Down South in Dixie
18:54Down South in Dixie
18:54Down South in Dixie
18:54Down South in Dixie
18:55Down South in Dixie
18:55Down South in Dixie
18:56Down South in Dixie
18:56Down South in Dixie
18:56Down South in Dixie
18:57Down South in Dixie
18:57Down South in Dixie
18:57Down South in Dixie
18:57Down South in Dixie
19:00Down South in Dixie
19:00Down South in Dixie
19:11Mmm, boy, ain't nothing smells as good as ham a-cookin', Ma.
19:15That's the truth.
19:17Wait till Jethreen gets a whiff of this.
19:19Ham is her favorite.
19:21Mine too, Ma.
19:23Come on, hurry up.
19:27Jethreen, what is that delicious smell I'm a-smelling?
19:36It smells like ham a-cookin', Uncle Jeth.
19:39Well, let's get on down to the Seaman Pond and tell everybody we're gonna have ham.
19:47That is a shortcut.
19:55When the family tastes these riddles, they ain't never gonna let Pearl near the kitchen again.
20:05Mmm, good.
20:09Come and get it!
20:10Come and get it!
20:12Come and get it!
20:19Come on, everybody, business on!
20:23Man, sakes, they're all so hungry they can't get up.
20:34Come on, Jethro, I know you keep making.
20:37Oh, please, Granny, we just done eat five hams.
20:45Dad?
20:47Granny, them little hams is the best you ever cooked.
20:52I didn't cook no hams.
20:55I cooked them, Granny.
20:59How'd you get in my kitchen without me seeing you?
21:02I cooked them on this here stove with wheels.
21:06Ma can cook anywhere.
21:11Well, let's see her cook where I'm gonna cook.
21:14Don't do it, Granny!
21:22Just a minute!
21:23Here's your stove!
21:46Well, now it's time to say goodbye to Jed and all his kin.
21:49They would like to thank you folks for kindly dropping in.
21:53You're all invited back next week to this locality
21:56To have a heaping helping of their hospitality.
22:00Hillbilly, that is.
22:02Set a spell.
22:03Take your shoes off.
22:05Y'all come back now.
22:06Here?
22:08This has been a Filmways presentation.
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