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00:08Previously on Californication.
00:11Nothing?
00:12Nope.
00:13Not a twitch.
00:14I even tossed a salad for a second or three.
00:17Are you sure you can actually handle a job?
00:19Can you show up on time?
00:20Play nice with others?
00:22Can you work with actors without fucking them or punching them?
00:24Oh, so you have read my work.
00:26What?
00:26What?
00:27What is it now?
00:27I mean, nothing would surprise me at this point.
00:30He's really my kid.
00:32I mean, all I have is his work to go on.
00:34And no offense, but he doesn't present as the most trustworthy source.
00:38I'm standing right here.
00:40He's got all these crazy expectations of you guys making it for lost time.
00:44And I don't have the heart to tell him that you're not that kind of guy.
00:47Oh, is this your kid?
00:48Apparently.
00:49Does he want a job?
00:50Because I just promoted the PA to writer's assistant.
00:53Maybe there's someone you gotta meet.
01:03How can I make this better?
01:05You can't.
01:05Well, that's a very defeatist attitude, Karen.
01:08Hey.
01:10You have another family.
01:13A family is a strong word.
01:14However dysfunctional, we've always been a family.
01:18Now, there's another one.
01:20There's another baby mama.
01:22There's another kid.
01:23Do you realize how fucking devastating that is?
01:26Do you realize that the bottom has just officially dropped out of our relationship?
01:32I get it.
01:33I get it.
01:34But I think once you get over that first initial jolt of anger, you're going to see that it's not...
01:39I'm not angry.
01:40No, you're not?
01:41No.
01:42Why would I be angry?
01:43Ah, you seem kind of angry.
01:45I'm not even entitled to anger because you impregnated her before you even met me.
01:51That's true.
01:52That's very true.
01:53And I'm glad that you see it that way.
01:54And I think you're actually being hugely progressive about the whole thing.
01:57And that's what makes it ten times worse.
01:59She was there first.
02:02She is baby mama number one.
02:05I am baby mama number two.
02:08And she's a ridiculous fucking milf, which makes it even worse.
02:14I know that I have a knack for this shit, Karen.
02:16Well, you have a knack, all right.
02:18It's a minor miracle that more kids didn't come looking for you.
02:22Oh, hey, that's not very nice.
02:23You know, I've always been very responsible when it comes to the controlling of birth.
02:27And in the past, if a woman was kind enough to share her privates with me
02:30and asked me to slap on a prophylactic, I would do that with a smile.
02:34You know, but sometimes the dog water can seep in there and cause trouble.
02:37Oh, yeah, I know the trouble.
02:39I know the trouble.
02:40Do you know what you need to start thinking about?
02:42Is how you are going to tell your daughter that she has a brother that she never even knew about!
02:47That's a half-brother, Karen, half.
02:49It's like having a long-lost cousin.
02:51It's not that big a deal, really.
02:52Nothing like that!
02:53Okay, I've got to go to work anyway.
02:55So, um, it was good talking to you.
03:00Have a nice day!
03:01Have a nice day!
03:56What the fuck, dude?
03:57What happened to me out on the curb?
03:58Sorry, I guess I overslept.
04:00I was up all night playing Xbox.
04:01Why?
04:02Why would you do that when you know you're starting a new job in the morning?
04:04Because that's how I deal with my anxiety.
04:06Xbox and weed.
04:07Do you smoke weed?
04:08God, there's so much I don't know about you.
04:11Anyway, I'm pretty nervous about this new gig.
04:13Yeah, well now you're gonna be pretty late for this new gig.
04:15I guess I thought show business started later than the real world.
04:18It does.
04:19It's 11am.
04:20Is that late enough for you?
04:21Shit.
04:22Okay.
04:22I'm gonna go get dressed.
04:34I don't know.
04:35I've been busy not knowing about you.
04:38Still.
04:39Mind if I use the facilities?
04:40I don't care.
04:43Man, you're kidding.
04:47Hey!
04:47What the fuck?
04:48Apologies.
04:49Jesus!
04:49No need to take names in vain.
04:50We're all adults here and we happen to be adults who have seen each other naked.
04:5320 years ago.
04:54Hey, I remember that, Moe.
04:56Can we not have this conversation while I'm peeing?
04:58Do we have to?
04:59Okay.
04:59I'm just kidding and backing away slowly.
05:01Very, very slowly.
05:02Get out!
05:07Yeah.
05:08Could you maybe not hit on my mom in front of me?
05:10It makes me feel uncomfortable.
05:11I wasn't hitting on her.
05:12I was engaging a little flirtatious banter.
05:14There's a big difference.
05:15Whatever, okay?
05:16I have issues.
05:17The only kids who ever wanted to hang out with me wanted to fuck my mom.
05:19Maybe asking for hugs all the time, knuckle brushing her ass.
05:22Fucking confusing times, man.
05:27What?
05:27Nothing.
05:29Do I like pimp?
05:31You're a pimp.
05:33Mom, come on.
05:35Cut it out.
05:35Okay.
05:36Be nice.
05:37Work hard.
05:38Mind your manners.
05:39And don't be weird, okay?
05:40I won't.
05:40Promise?
05:41Promise.
05:42I love you.
05:43I love you too.
05:44Where's my hug?
05:45You asshole.
05:48Can you wait in the car for a minute?
05:51No funny stuff.
05:53You look cute.
05:56How's Karen?
05:57Oh, she's been busy hating on me when I'm making voodoo dolls.
06:01Oh.
06:02There she goes again.
06:03Uh-huh.
06:04And in the back too.
06:05She's getting busy.
06:06Do you want me to talk to her?
06:08Ah, that's not a good idea.
06:09You're already a little too milfy for her taste.
06:12Really?
06:12Why would you say that?
06:13Because that's what she said.
06:15Wow.
06:16That is so nice of her.
06:17She is so beautiful.
06:18Yeah.
06:19Me and my beautiful baby mamas.
06:21Lucky me.
06:22Keep an eye on him, okay?
06:24Because he can get a little weird in social situations.
06:27Really?
06:27I hadn't noticed that.
06:29What do you mean weird?
06:30He's not gonna yank out his dick, is he?
06:34I don't think so.
06:35You don't think so?
06:38Look, maybe he went through a phase where he liked to expose himself to girls.
06:41And if he did, it was totally normal and a developmentally appropriate way for him to express his sexuality.
06:46Uh-huh.
06:46And it was a long time ago.
06:48We got through it.
06:50Hmm.
07:01All right, kids.
07:03Let's make some fucking television.
07:05All right.
07:07Hugh, my boy, you're up.
07:09You're writing episode three.
07:10Awesome.
07:11Appreciate the vote of confidence, boss.
07:13Yeah, yeah.
07:14Let's hear it.
07:15Okay.
07:16Okay.
07:16Okay.
07:18Fade in.
07:18We open on the Santa Monica Strand.
07:20Camera finds Danko Jones.
07:22He's rollerblading down the Strand.
07:24Rollerblading?
07:24Why the fuck is he rollerblading?
07:26Why is the incredibly cool, aggressively male star of our show rollerblading?
07:30Because he wants to meet women.
07:31Works like a charm.
07:32Trust.
07:33Anyway, stay with me.
07:34Danko meets this beautiful girl on the Strand.
07:36She is banging.
07:38Think Rihanna meets...
07:41Someone even hotter than Rihanna.
07:43Danko takes her home and bangs the shit out of her.
07:46Because that's just the kind of guy our Danko is.
07:48Next morning, he wakes up.
07:49She's gone.
07:50He heads off to work.
07:52Guess who the new captain is?
07:53Roller girl.
07:54Boom!
07:56Deal with that, Danko.
08:01Hank, you're writing episode three.
08:03I'll write it.
08:04Hank, you're writing episode three.
08:06I'll write it.
08:07I do have 15 years of procedural experience versus the rapist who has none.
08:12Hank, episode three.
08:14Groovy.
08:15What do you got?
08:16What do you mean?
08:17Story ideas.
08:18Let's go.
08:21I'm not a big fan of outlining, per se.
08:24I like to do a fair amount of exploring on the page.
08:26Well, that's good to know.
08:28Save it for your novel, all right?
08:29Writing a good episode of television means knowing every single little fucking thing before
08:33you put pen to paper.
08:35This way the work is done before you even begin.
08:37What about a bad episode of television?
08:39Same thing.
08:41Come on, man.
08:42Pitch me something.
08:43This isn't a fucking internship.
08:45Okay.
08:45All right.
08:46Okay.
08:51There's a serial rapist run amok in Santa Monica.
08:57Here we go.
08:58Don't worry.
08:58I'll make sure he gets his comeuppance.
09:00And he's targeting hot female rollerbladers, right?
09:04And Danko Jones, against his will, has to lace up and hit the strand.
09:08Good.
09:09I like it.
09:10This is fun.
09:10This is funny.
09:11It's a fish out of water.
09:13You got the cool black guy doing the stupid white guy thing.
09:16This is how we tell stories.
09:19Riff on it a little bit.
09:20What do you got for a B story?
09:23Uh, yeah.
09:25What if this doesn't need a B story?
09:27What if this is just a very special episode of primetime good?
09:30Oh, my lunch.
09:31Oh, my God.
09:33What took you so long?
09:34Kid, you gotta pretend like I'm hypoglycemic.
09:36Oh, my God.
09:41Oh, my God.
09:42Oh, my God.
09:43Oh, my God.
09:45Oh, my God.
09:45Oh, my God.
09:45What part of chopped and tossed, extra dressing on the side, no onions?
09:50Don't you understand?
09:52Chopped and tossed, extra dressing on the side, no onions!
09:57Hey.
09:58Motherfucker!
10:01Way to go, Lee, Mom.
10:03You should go get some cupcakes.
10:05It'll cheer him up.
10:06I think he prefers sprinkles to crumbs for what it's worth.
10:09Yeah, cupcakes.
10:11Nobody wants cupcakes, Hugh.
10:14Yes!
10:15They had peanut butter mocha fudge today.
10:21You okay?
10:24Fuck no.
10:25Just got my asshole torn apart in there.
10:27Yeah, just dust yourself off.
10:29Get back in there.
10:30That's all you can do.
10:31Why don't you stick up for me?
10:33You'd be fucked up.
10:35I mean, those people take their lunches very seriously.
10:37I've never seen anything like it, actually.
10:39Can you get a cigarette?
10:40Mm-mm.
10:42This shit was really fucking uncalled for.
10:45You know it.
10:46Did he hit you?
10:47Did he fire you?
10:48Did he stick his finger up your ass and make you smell it?
10:51No, I don't think so.
10:52No?
10:53I think you'd know.
10:54He didn't.
10:56So just, you know, do better tomorrow.
10:58Okay.
10:58My whole life has been about doing better tomorrow.
11:01It's a sound philosophy.
11:02I just don't know, man.
11:04This show business stuff is really high stakes.
11:06Oh, yeah.
11:07Yeah, the business of chopped salads is some cutthroat shit, isn't it?
11:10You think that's bad?
11:11You say you want to be an actor?
11:13You have any idea how much rejection you're going to face on a daily basis?
11:16Especially looking the way you do?
11:19Which is absolutely fucking adorable.
11:24Can I get your advice on something?
11:26If you must.
11:29I really want to have sex with Rast's sister.
11:33Not today.
11:34In the future.
11:35Not too distant future.
11:36Like soon.
11:37Well, it's good to have dreams.
11:39Good to shoot for the moon.
11:40Yeah, but how do I get there?
11:41Mm-hmm.
11:42Do I come on really strong, you know?
11:44No.
11:44Or do I play it cool?
11:45Yes.
11:46It's best to play it cool.
11:47Like, like, like almost don't even say anything to her.
11:50Ever.
11:51Like, like almost ignore her completely.
11:53Let her come to you.
11:55I'm not sure I see how that's going to be.
11:57Trust.
11:59Hey, sorry I blew up at you, kid.
12:01Write a passage.
12:01No problem.
12:02Just get it right next time.
12:03Okay.
12:04When in doubt, you just follow the fucking directions.
12:06Okay.
12:07Like with actors.
12:08When in doubt, just say the fucking lines.
12:11Mm-hmm.
12:11Same thing applies to writers, right?
12:13When in doubt, just follow the fucking note.
12:14We're getting a real master class here today.
12:16Speaking of actors, you want to join me in casting?
12:18We're auditioning crack whores.
12:20Oh, yeah.
12:20Hey, that sounds cool.
12:22Can, can I come watch?
12:23No.
12:23But you can get me an iced half-calf, one-pump sugar-free caramel, two-pump sugar-free vanilla,
12:27non-fat caramel macchiato.
12:29You got that?
12:31Sure.
12:33Um, what was after ice?
12:39You know what?
12:40I'll just go ask your assistant.
12:41There you go.
12:42Now you're thinking, kid.
12:44All right.
12:50Danko, I know you're trying to do the right thing, but I love The Rock.
12:55The Rock is my friend, my lover, my confidante.
13:00Okay.
13:01So, I know you think you have magic there between your legs, but when I put my dick, my li
13:07-
13:08But putting my lips on that glass dick, that's the shit.
13:13That's all the dick this girl's gonna need.
13:19See?
13:20Very good.
13:22I like the improv, the glass dick stuff.
13:24Mmm.
13:24Yeah.
13:25Very creative.
13:26Thanks.
13:26It just came on me.
13:28It came to me.
13:29I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.
13:33I think you're a lot more talented than you think you are.
13:38There was a real moment in there.
13:41I saw the price you paid.
13:43Ugh.
13:44No, thank you.
13:46And come back and see us again, please.
13:48Okay.
13:53Why do you keep saying that?
13:55The price you paid.
13:57Does that even...
13:58Fuck if I know.
14:00The director I worked with used it once.
14:03I thought it sounded good, so I incorporated it into my patter.
14:07It's good to have patter.
14:11Hello.
14:13I have the network for you two.
14:14They want to make an offer to Eddie Nero.
14:16Oh.
14:17Don't do it.
14:18You'll regret it.
14:19What?
14:20He poops on people.
14:22I'm not kidding.
14:24You gotta poop somewhere.
14:29So, acting, huh?
14:30I want this part.
14:32Yeah.
14:33Why?
14:34Because it's the kind of part that gets you noticed.
14:36And I want to be noticed.
14:38As a crack whore.
14:39I want this part.
14:42Well, good luck to you.
14:43You know, may the best crack whore win.
14:46I will totally fuck you for this part.
14:49Oh, that is totally sweet, but I'm not really what you'd call a decision maker.
14:55I will suck your big black dick.
14:58How do you know about my big black dick?
15:00Oh, you were in character just then.
15:03That's cool.
15:04You had a real moment there.
15:06I saw the price you paid.
15:08You want to see my titties?
15:10That's not necessary.
15:12We're a network show.
15:13We don't do titty.
15:15Wardrobe malfunction.
15:17Yeah.
15:19You want to taste my juice?
15:20Oh, no, that's cool.
15:22I had some for breakfast already.
15:26Whew.
15:28Hello, Frisco.
15:35This is not as it seems.
15:37Fuck you, Hank.
15:38I'm not gonna let you get away with this shit.
15:40The-
15:41Wrath?
15:42Wrath?
15:42No, not now.
15:43Terry, I'm not in the mood for your militant bullshit.
15:45Okay, please.
15:46Go do something in the room.
15:47Make yourself useful.
15:48Okay?
15:49Are we ready to do some thesping or what?
15:52What's that smell?
15:56Must be ambition.
15:57Let's do this.
15:58Oh, yeah.
15:58What's that on the wall?
16:00Cock.
16:01And what color is it?
16:03It's black.
16:04Yeah, it's black.
16:05It's a black clock.
16:07Big black cock.
16:11Holy shit, that is so funny.
16:14Little kids are hilarious.
16:16I know, right?
16:18Oh, my gosh.
16:19Okay, now it's your turn.
16:21What do you mean?
16:23I showed you mine.
16:24Now you show me yours.
16:25Yeah, but my favorite stuff is definitely not safe for the workplace.
16:30That's okay.
16:31I mean, come on.
16:32This isn't like your typical workplace.
16:37Okay, I'll show you some shit.
16:39Okay.
16:39I really don't want to fucking deal with this.
16:41Okay, okay.
16:42Hank, Hank, Hank.
16:43Can I see you in here a minute, please?
16:44Thank you, Terry.
16:46Yes, definitely.
16:47Have a seat.
16:49Don't mind if I do.
16:50What's up?
16:53Did you finger that actress?
16:54Oh, dear.
16:58Not exactly.
16:59What the fuck does that mean, not exactly?
17:01Either you finger someone or you don't.
17:03Well, technically, she fingered herself with my finger.
17:08That's why it smelled like pussy in there.
17:10No, that was ambition.
17:13Now I have to hire that crazy bitch.
17:15Why?
17:15Why?
17:16Because if I don't, she's gonna claim that you did something inappropriate
17:19with your stink finger.
17:20Oh.
17:21And with your fucking record, no one's ever gonna believe you didn't.
17:23I see.
17:24What?
17:27What's the matter?
17:27Did he finger you, too?
17:30What did you make her watch?
17:32I didn't make her watch anything.
17:34Well, something fucking upset her.
17:36She was showing me some of her favorite YouTube videos, right?
17:39And she asked me to show her something that I liked.
17:41And?
17:44It's kinda dirty.
17:45I'm a big boy.
17:46I can handle it.
17:47Well, speaking of big boys, this huge prison yard looking motherfucker is having anal sex with this cute little porno
17:54chick, right?
17:54Here we go.
17:55Yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:56So he's just banging away and banging away.
17:58But that's not the cool part.
17:59No.
17:59At a key point in the video, the guy pulls his monster cock out of her butt and shoves his
18:04entire scrotus in there.
18:06And this thing is ridiculous.
18:08It's literally like a giant gym bag full of basketballs.
18:10So then, best part of the video, he pulls it out again and yells,
18:14Booyah!
18:15Booyah!
18:19It's actually really funny.
18:21Yeah, no, it's fucking hilarious.
18:22You know what else it is?
18:24Sexual harassment.
18:25What?
18:26She asked for it.
18:27This is a workplace, Leon.
18:28Lee?
18:29It's Levon.
18:30That's what I said.
18:31Look, it wasn't even sexual, though.
18:34It was comedic.
18:34I mean, was I turned on?
18:38Yes, because she's incredibly hot.
18:40But was I trying to fuck her?
18:41No.
18:41She said you started to give her a back robe.
18:43Jesus.
18:44She said that?
18:47You told me to play it cool.
18:48I did.
18:49I did.
18:50I told him to play it cool.
18:51Well played, son.
18:52Thanks, Dad.
18:53Well played.
18:53Thanks.
18:54The agent's on the phone.
18:55Who?
18:56Which one?
18:57Oh, the one who represents the actress that Hank fingered.
19:01Happy?
19:03You fingered an actress today?
19:04Where the fuck was I?
19:05You were busy sexually harassing my assistant.
19:08Jesus Christ.
19:09Like father, like son.
19:11Two real, live, degenerate assholes.
19:14Get the fuck out of here.
19:16Now.
19:22So what are we talking about here?
19:24Are we fired?
19:24Does it look like I fire people around here?
19:26Have you seen this fucking office?
19:28It's a fucking clown college out there.
19:31Get out!
19:34What were you thinking?
19:35What's the big deal?
19:37You can't do something like that at work.
19:38It's disrespectful.
19:39Says the guy who just got in trouble for fingering someone.
19:42Hey, watch your tone, alright?
19:43You know what?
19:44Fuck this.
19:45Oh, well where are you going?
19:46Home.
19:46I'm done.
19:47What'd that say?
19:47You're just gonna quit?
19:48Yeah.
19:49Why not?
19:49It's a stupid fucking job anyways.
19:51Okay.
19:51Fetching lunches for a bunch of Hollywood assholes.
19:53Now we know why you still live with your mother.
19:55Who the fuck are you?
19:56I'm just a guy who's trying to make the best of an incredibly fucked up situation.
20:01Yeah.
20:01Well, don't bother.
20:02I'm sorry I came looking for you.
20:03Hey, don't start saying things you can't take back.
20:05Who says I wanna take it back?
20:06You're a fucking drama queen.
20:08You know that?
20:09Yeah, which is why I'm gonna be a great fucking actor one day.
20:11You think you're gonna be a great fucking actor?
20:13You can't even get through one day as a fucking PA.
20:16Fuck you.
20:17Fuck me?
20:19Yeah.
20:20Fuck you.
20:20No, fuck you, you ungrateful little shit.
20:22I get you a job and what do you do?
20:23You embarrass me.
20:24Won't happen again.
20:29Come on.
20:30Come on, Hank.
20:31Do that shit.
20:32Come on, man.
20:32Come on, Hank.
20:34Let's do it.
20:35Come on.
20:36Come on.
20:37Go.
20:38Go.
20:40Are you kidding me?
20:41Mama.
20:44What the fuck is going on here?
20:46I won.
20:47I'm writing the episode.
20:48No, you're not.
20:49That's not the way it works around here, Terry.
20:51Oh, I'm wrestling you for it.
20:52And you will win.
20:54Of that I have no doubt, but I assign the episodes.
20:57The place is a fucking freak show.
21:01What the fuck is this now?
21:02I'm sorry to interrupt.
21:04I'm Julia, Levon's mom.
21:05Levon had something he'd like to say to you.
21:07Do it.
21:09Hi, Melanie.
21:11I'm very sorry I created a hostile working environment for you.
21:15I was just trying to make you laugh.
21:16I guess I got a little carried away.
21:18Yeah.
21:19It's partially my fault because I had a very liberal attitude about Levon and pornography.
21:23Well, I guess it's okay.
21:25It was kind of funny when the guy's balls just popped out of her butt like that.
21:29I know, right?
21:31Just don't try to massage me again.
21:33I won't.
21:34I promise.
21:34No, it was creepy.
21:35Got it.
21:35And your breath was horrible.
21:38Did you brush your teeth this morning?
21:40I forgot.
21:41Hank was rushing me.
21:42Did you floss last night?
21:44Mom, stop it.
21:45Wait.
21:50Mr. Rath, sir?
21:51I'm very sorry I fucked up lunch and disrespected your authority.
21:55It will not happen again, sir.
21:56Hey, whatever, kid.
21:57Shit happens.
21:58You live and learn.
21:58Give me a Diet Coke.
21:59Yes, sir.
22:00Rick Rath.
22:01Julia.
22:02Everybody calls me Rath.
22:03Oh.
22:04Well, I'd appreciate it if you didn't scream at my son.
22:06He's a human being, and I'm sure you can find a better way to motivate your employees.
22:10Wow.
22:11Okay.
22:11This is really happening, huh?
22:13Um, how is it even remotely possible that you have a kid that old?
22:18Oh.
22:20Oh.
22:20Um.
22:22Mm.
22:23Oh.
22:24Right.
22:24Him.
22:25Yeah.
22:25Sorry.
22:25Okay.
22:26I'm waiting.
22:27Where's my apology?
22:29I do have something I'd like to say to you.
22:32Who the fuck do you think you are coming down on him so hard?
22:35That doesn't sound like an apology.
22:36You gotta put in some serious time before you tear into him like that.
22:39He is my son.
22:40I mean, you're just a sperm donor at this point.
22:42Why don't you try being his friend?
22:43What do you know about him?
22:44Nothing.
22:45Booyah.
22:46Moody just got schooled.
22:47Maybe I overreacted a tad, but the boy is in need of some male guidance.
22:51Hey, I think this woman is doing a fantastic job.
22:54This kid's got excellent manners.
22:56She brought cookies.
22:57Which are amazing.
22:58Why don't you find some patience, Hank, and don't be a fucking asshole.
23:01Well said, Julia.
23:05Can I ask you something?
23:07Sure.
23:08Have you ever done any acting?
23:10Oh, years ago in New York.
23:12New York?
23:13Yeah.
23:13I'm from New York.
23:14Oh, cool.
23:15Wow.
23:16Well, yeah, I did some theater and a few commercials, but that wasn't very good.
23:20You know what?
23:21I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.
23:24I think you're probably a lot more talented than you think you are.
23:31Let me show you around.
23:33Take that, rapist.
23:37Leave on!
23:38Milk!
23:46I didn't see this coming.
23:48Not at all.
23:50Me neither, buddy.
23:52Well, you really take your erections for granted, huh?
23:54I mean, you never imagined they're just gonna go away one day.
23:57How did you manage to steer this back around to your dick?
23:59I was just sharing about how my life has been turned inside out and upside down right now.
24:03Well, mmm.
24:04It's mine, too, you know.
24:05My dick isn't working.
24:08I can't make sweet love to my wife, who surely must be growing frustrated and doubting whether
24:14she did the right thing getting back together with me.
24:16Well, at least you have a wife, Charlie.
24:18My relationship with Karen has never been more fucked than it is right now.
24:21Well, she managed to get past the whole Mia thing, right?
24:23Barely.
24:24Proof.
24:26Time heals all.
24:27Even broken dicks?
24:29Ugh.
24:30Here's hoping.
24:34It's Marcy.
24:36Come home and fuck your wife.
24:38She's stoned and horny and wants some daddy dick.
24:41If it doesn't work, you can eat me out and use the verb.
24:44What the verb?
24:45Verb.
24:47Vibe.
24:47Vibe.
24:48Raider.
24:49Stop at the store.
24:50We need milk.
24:52Go.
24:53Go forth.
24:54Do as you're told.
24:55Get your tongue ready for a workout.
24:57And don't forget the milk.
24:58And grab some booze, too.
24:59We're almost out.
25:01What?
25:02You know I like me at nightcap when I get home.
25:05And some pop chips.
25:06I love me some pop chips.
25:08Working in TV has taught me a lot about snack food.
25:12Pop chips.
25:13Lots of papers.
25:32What?
25:33Hi.
25:34What do you want, Hank?
25:35I'm not in the mood.
25:38I just wanted to say how sorry I am.
25:41You know, this whole thing has gotten me so nuts
25:45that I haven't really taken the time to appreciate
25:48how bananas it must be for you.
25:50I know I can't talk my way out of it,
25:52but I expected to blow over,
25:54but I just want you to know that I fully appreciate
25:58what a big deal this is for you.
26:01Okay, what else can I do for you?
26:06I'm a halfway decent paternal type person, aren't I?
26:09So that's what this is about.
26:11You want your ego stroked.
26:15No, no, no.
26:15It's just that I'm feeling pretty rusty right now.
26:18No, you're feeling pretty sorry for yourself about now.
26:22And that's a waste of time, because this is life, Hank.
26:27You know, shit comes flying at you,
26:29and you gotta deal with it.
26:31That's what defines you, how you deal with it.
26:34You don't get points for wallowing.
26:37Well, that's funny, because I have never felt more entitled
26:40to drink and contemplate my Job-like existence
26:44than I do right now.
26:46And you have a daughter who has no idea what's coming.
26:51Lucky her.
26:52And you have this kid who's come looking for his father.
26:55I mean, it's a big deal.
26:56He's probably a raw nerve right now.
26:58And his mom, all, like, freaked out
27:01and wondering how her life's gonna change.
27:04It's a lot.
27:06How about you?
27:08You don't got time to think about me, Hank.
27:10You got enough in your plate.
27:12Just don't give up on me, okay?
27:15I'm still me.
27:17You're still us.
27:21Good night, Hank.
27:24Good night.
27:25Good night.
27:26Good night.
27:27Good night.
27:28Good night.
27:28Good night.
27:28Good night.
27:29Good night.
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