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00:05Tonight, Fred Willard is our guest, and we couldn't be more excited.
00:09My trusty sidekick, Adam Egan, is here.
00:12And, Adam, how cool is it to have Fred Willard?
00:15He's the best.
00:16He's the greatest.
00:17I grew up watching.
00:18I love him.
00:19Fernwood's Night, do you remember that?
00:20No, it was a little before my time.
00:21I remember DC Follies, Spinal Tap, and all the Christopher Guest movies.
00:24He's amazing in all those Christopher Guest movies, because he out-improvises the other
00:31expert improvisers.
00:33Exactly.
00:33It's a true testament to his ability.
00:35And he really was the best in show.
00:40Oh, fantastic.
00:42I think he was even maybe, am I mistaken?
00:45Was he nominated for something?
00:47I'm not sure.
00:48We can find that out.
00:50Yes, we can find that out.
00:52But anyways, a brilliant improviser, and have you ever improvised?
00:56Good God, no.
00:57I never have either.
00:58I've never tried.
00:59Like, I've always thought I should go to Second City, because I always felt I could do it.
01:03Right.
01:04You know, but I never gave it a shot, because I was always doing stand-up.
01:08But I know whenever I go for auditions, they always want, have you ever done improvise?
01:15They don't care about stand-up.
01:17Second City, groundlings, you know what I mean?
01:19It's one of the things everyone thinks they can do, I think.
01:22Oh, I think I could do it.
01:23I could do that.
01:24I could do it.
01:25I think I could, too.
01:27Yeah.
01:27We should try that.
01:28What, an improvised scene?
01:29Yeah, we should.
01:31Let's try one now.
01:32Now?
01:32We have a skeleton crew.
01:34We have a crew of skeletons.
01:37Sometimes it's very frightening.
01:40I was improvising.
01:41That was pretty good.
01:42So, I think maybe one of our skeleton crews will just yell out a suggestion.
01:48This is how they do it in improv.
01:50I'm game.
01:50And then we'll do the scene.
01:53Okay.
01:53So, anybody, anybody got a suggestion?
01:56Guy sleeping with his best friend's wife.
01:58Guy sleeping with his best friend's wife.
02:01You want to be the...
02:02Let me think about this for a second.
02:04Guy sleeping with his best friend's wife.
02:06Okay, whatever.
02:07You want to be...
02:08I'll be the...
02:08I'll be the...
02:09What do you want to be?
02:11I'll be the guy sleeping with the wife.
02:14Okay.
02:14With your wife.
02:14So, you're sleeping with my wife.
02:16With your wife.
02:16Okay.
02:17Okay, and I'm the guy, and you're sleeping with my wife.
02:19Okay.
02:20Okay.
02:22Norm, I'm sleeping with your wife.
02:24You son of a bitch, motherfucker!
02:27Ah!
02:27You sleep with my fucking wife?
02:29You son of a bitch, cocksucker!
02:31You fucking...
02:32You're my best fucking friend, Adam!
02:34God damn you!
02:36Motherfucker!
02:36I'm fucking killing you!
02:38You sleep with...
02:39That's what you were doing on fucking Friday night, weren't you?
02:42Ah!
02:42Fucking bastard!
02:44You say you're going to the fucking movies?
02:45You fucking go out with my fucking wife?
02:47She said...
02:48She said she's going out with her friend to see a coffee shop.
02:52And you're fucking her!
02:53You're fucking her, you fucker!
02:56You dirty prick!
02:57I lose my best friend, and I lose my fucking wife in the same fucking day.
03:03Okay.
03:23I apologize.
03:25We had some technical difficulties.
03:28I got a little carried away.
03:29I got to apologize.
03:30I feel partially responsible.
03:34So...
03:35What the...
03:35What was that?
03:36You don't even have a wife.
03:37You don't even have a wife.
03:39That's true.
03:39I never was the marrying kind.
03:42I just got...
03:43I guess we just both got carried away and swept up in the improv.
03:47It's kind of funny when you think about it.
03:52Now, I mean.
03:53Now.
03:54At the time, it was not funny.
03:56But now, looking back, we can laugh.
04:00Anyways.
04:01Listen.
04:01I think we picked a subject that was very fraught with emotion.
04:06Let's get a suggestion that's not so incendiary.
04:09Does anyone have just a regular suggestion, a prosaic sort of development?
04:14Anything?
04:15Deli counter.
04:16A deli counter.
04:17A deli counter.
04:18A man goes and orders food at a deli counter.
04:22That's an excellent one.
04:22Now, would you want to be the customer or the proprietor of the deli counter?
04:26Whatever.
04:26Huh?
04:27Whatever.
04:28Okay.
04:28Well, then I'll be the man that wants to get something.
04:32I'll be entering the deli counter.
04:33I won't enter.
04:34I'll just do it from the chair.
04:39Excuse me, good sir.
04:41I would like to purchase a sandwich from you.
04:44A corned beef on rye.
04:48What kind of bread would you like it on?
04:50I just said I would like rye, sir.
04:53And I would like with that, mustard.
04:57I will have mayonnaise on it.
05:00And I would also like, on the side, a pickle.
05:04We're out of pickles.
05:06Here.
05:07You're out of pickles.
05:11No pickles.
05:13Well, then, why don't I get, other than pickles, oh, whoa, whoa!
05:22I, instead of having pickles, I actually would prefer sauerkraut.
05:27Could I get some sauerkraut on the sandwich?
05:29Oh, God.
05:31Huh?
05:32Sauerkraut.
05:34Could I get some sauerkraut on the sandwich?
05:37What's up?
05:39Sauerkraut's extra.
05:40Sauerkraut is extra.
05:42Well, I, wait a second.
05:47Oh, God.
05:48I know who you are, fella.
05:50I recognize you, you son of a bitch.
05:52No, no, no.
05:52God!
05:53You're the guy who fucked my wife!
05:54Start fucking going to your goddamn deli every day!
05:57Fucking order sandwiches!
05:59And how do you fucking repay me?
06:00You fucked my wife, you dirty prick!
06:03When I eat fucking sauerkraut, I order fucking bagels,
06:07and you fucked my wife, you dirty bastard!
06:10It's the last fucking time I ever come to your fucking galley!
06:29Fred Willard is with us.
06:31Fred is a comedian, an actor, a writer, and all-around funny gentleman.
06:34You know him from the great films, This Is Spinal Tap,
06:38Best in Show, A Mighty Wind, and The Anchorman Movies,
06:41as well as his Emmy-nominated roles,
06:43and Everybody Loves Raymond, and Modern Family.
06:46I thought you had those memorized.
06:49You said, I know your work as well as you do,
06:52and now you're just reading.
06:53No, I was reading off-camera.
06:55Oh, I see.
06:58Oh, my God, that whole thing.
07:00I could have put anything in there.
07:02You wrote those?
07:04You were in Modern Family.
07:06Yes, I still am.
07:07That's a great show.
07:08I need a cup.
07:09I'd love one of those no McDonald's.
07:10Oh, yeah, here's a cup.
07:11Oh, thank you.
07:16How long is this bit going to go?
07:19Is it going to be uncomfortable for you?
07:21Okay, so Adam Egan had a question just to open things up.
07:25I'm just wondering what, I mean, you're always,
07:27what are you working on right now?
07:28I am just finishing a project.
07:30This is one of the biggest projects I have ever done.
07:32Really?
07:33It's amazing.
07:33It's a spectacular film.
07:35What kind?
07:36Is it a drama or comedy, probably?
07:37No, it's an adventure.
07:39It's action, science fiction.
07:41Wow.
07:42It's amazing.
07:43This is a big budget movie?
07:45Huge budget.
07:45I can't even quote the price.
07:48What?
07:49Who's directing it?
07:50Is that a big guy?
07:51Well, that's the interesting thing.
07:52It's an action adventure.
07:53So we got this guy, Spike.
07:57Jones?
07:57Spike Jones?
07:58Spike Jones.
07:59And at first I thought it was that band leader.
08:01But I was wrong.
08:02It's not him.
08:03It's the guy with the glasses.
08:05He sits in the front of the Lakers game.
08:07Spike.
08:07Spike Lee.
08:09Spike Lee.
08:09That's it.
08:10Spike Lee did a big budget movie?
08:12Big adventure movie.
08:13And there's some comedy, so it's co-directed by Woody Allen.
08:18They brought him in to co-direct the comedy scenes.
08:20What we're going to try to do is just meld them.
08:24Who was that comic, The White Glove and the...
08:26Oh, Slappy White.
08:27Slappy White.
08:28Yeah, that's what we're trying to do.
08:29We're going to solve a lot of problems.
08:30I didn't think Slappy White would come out.
08:33Here's the thing.
08:35A meteor with people, the undead, are on this planet.
08:40Wait a minute now.
08:40And they decide to crash into the Earth.
08:42And Bruce Willis tries to save us.
08:45Isn't there a lot of African-Americans?
08:47Is there a Spike Lee movie?
08:48There's plenty of them.
08:49Yeah.
08:50What we try to do is...
08:52These are the nine ones that don't speak English.
08:54Yeah.
08:54So they CGI them in.
08:57The black people.
08:58Yeah.
08:58They CGI black people.
09:00Well, the ones that some of the actors are real.
09:02Oh.
09:03So are you saying like this is like...
09:04Interesting fact.
09:05Yeah.
09:06Steve McQueen.
09:07I fought to have him in.
09:08I thought it was the actor Steve McQueen.
09:10Yeah.
09:10It's the director.
09:11So he's not directing.
09:12He's just acting in the movie.
09:13He doesn't know.
09:14He keeps saying, I don't know what to do.
09:15But we got Steve McQueen in the movie.
09:17There's a director, Steve McQueen?
09:18Yes.
09:19There's three directors involved.
09:20So Woody Allen, Steve McQueen...
09:22He does the comedy stuff.
09:23Got it.
09:23The undead are coming down in a planet.
09:25They're going to crash into Earth.
09:26And maybe we can get this reduced to disorderly conduct.
09:29You know, Woody Allen...
09:31Yeah.
09:31He's in it.
09:33Woody's not in it.
09:34No.
09:34You're playing a kind of a Woody Allen character.
09:36No, no.
09:36I'm playing a kind of a guy that does what Bruce Willis...
09:39But you just...
09:39What are you saying?
09:40Well, Woody...
09:41Maybe we...
09:42He kept suggesting live.
09:43Oh, I see.
09:44And...
09:45Because in a lot of Woody Allen movies, the actor would be actually sort of impersonating Woody Allen.
09:50Impersonating, yeah.
09:50Did you find yourself doing that?
09:52I tried, but I find I can't imitate Woody Allen.
09:56So listen, you're in a Bruce Willis vehicle where you're playing the Bruce Willis role as Woody Allen?
10:02No, no.
10:02I don't try to do...
10:04Woody Allen is directing the undead who are trying to crash into Earth.
10:08And then I get in a fight with Sylvester Stallone, of all people.
10:12Now, wait a second.
10:13No more.
10:14When does this movie come out?
10:15It's coming out either late summer or early fall.
10:18I've never heard of this.
10:19Well, how have we not heard of this movie?
10:21We don't want it publicized at all.
10:22It's going to be a boutique film.
10:24And what they want to do...
10:26First, it appeals to everyone from seven, the young and old alike.
10:32But we want to get from seven to 70.
10:33Seven to 70.
10:34But we wanted some of the even younger than seven and older than 70 because they have the money.
10:38Anyway, the Stallone brothers challenged me.
10:41Like shut-ins?
10:43We're going to get DV...
10:44The Stallone brothers?
10:47Frank Stallone.
10:47Well, why would that surprise you?
10:51But he ends up on my side and he sings the song, which turns out to be the theme song
10:55of the movie.
10:55He's an excellent guitarist.
10:57No, I know.
10:57But it's Sword of the Stone or Flame of the Throne.
11:00I don't even...
11:00You don't even know the...
11:01We want to keep the title...
11:02You know what?
11:02I'm beginning to think that this is not even true.
11:05It sounds a little outlandish.
11:07April Fool's.
11:09I missed the April Fool's show you did.
11:11Oh, we never did anything.
11:12No, seriously, things aren't going well for me.
11:16I'll be frank with you.
11:17I have not worked in a major project in two weeks.
11:23Well, that's true.
11:24That is a long time in Fred Willard show business years.
11:27That's got a point.
11:28Fred, Fred, you have worked nonstop probably since what year?
11:32Even when they call a rap, I'm still doing lines on the stage.
11:36Fred, go home.
11:37They even say that to me at the beginning of the day.
11:39Fred, go home.
11:41You know, when I see things like...
11:44And they surprise me from early in your career.
11:48Yes.
11:48I got the Get Smart whole library of Get Smart and you were on it.
11:54The guy I did that with was my comedy partner.
11:57They took that as a...
12:00Made that into a plot line.
12:01It was a pantomime bit where a bank robber is robbing a safe
12:04and comes in and knocking the gun out of each other's hand.
12:07Wait, your partner was in it?
12:08Yeah, the guy, the little gruff guy with the star.
12:11We had a comedy partner, Greco and Willard.
12:12Greco and Willard.
12:13And they did that segment.
12:16They used the segment, based it on it.
12:19And then later our agent called us in and he said,
12:21they want to use that as a pilot for a series.
12:23And we said, that's great.
12:24He says, wait a minute.
12:25I told them to forget about it.
12:27They're not going to use that as a pilot for 800 bucks.
12:29He saved us from our own series.
12:32That's the kind of age you're not going to do for $800 on pilot for a series.
12:38That's what I find Norman Lear shows, because I think he's horrible.
12:44But these guys, even though it's all this socially relevant bullshit,
12:49the actors are so great, they make it funny anyway.
12:52Like Carol O'Connor, you know what I mean?
12:53Well, Norman Lear was trying to be socially relevant,
12:56but I think most of the audience was laughing with Archie Bunker.
13:00Of course.
13:00A lot of people were laughing with Rob Reiner,
13:03you know, the liberals and the conservatives.
13:04Yeah, Archie, you tell them.
13:06Well, I think if you were neutral, you would agree with Archie,
13:11because he was the funnier guy, the lovable guy,
13:14and he usually won the argument.
13:16Yeah, and Rob had the beard.
13:18Yeah, and he was strident.
13:19Yes.
13:20Or maybe we're just racist.
13:25But I think, so I think it was a failure of Norman Lear.
13:28A failure of what?
13:29Well, he probably wanted everybody to laugh at Archie Bunker,
13:32but I think most people were on Archie's side.
13:35Yeah.
13:35But the one thing about Norman Lear,
13:38he wouldn't listen to anything from the networks.
13:40He'd say, oh, you don't like it?
13:41Well, I'll just, we'll fold the show.
13:43We won't do it.
13:44Oh, no, no, no, do the show.
13:45So he just did everything he wanted,
13:47and that's why it's so groundbreaking.
13:49Yeah, yeah.
13:49And now it's gone the other way.
13:51What?
13:52Just last week, I saw a show that they didn't use the F word,
13:55and there were no gay people on it.
13:57I said, wait a minute.
13:58And this is groundbreaking.
14:01There was one, there's one show.
14:03I haven't seen it.
14:04My wife said they said shit so many times in it.
14:07She said, I just finally had to turn it off.
14:09There were so many shits.
14:11But you know what that is?
14:12That's the crutch for the actors, the fuck and shit.
14:15Did you ever do that when you were in?
14:18No, no, but a couple of times I've had to say.
14:21The Acme Truck Company?
14:22Acme, I see you did your research.
14:25I always liked the Ace Truck Company because I liked the name.
14:29It wasn't like, you know how the other,
14:30what would a normal comedy troupe call themselves?
14:33Well, the comedy gang or some crazy cats with KK.
14:37But you guys went the other way.
14:39Well, it came from one of our characters in an interview.
14:41He worked for the Ace Trucking Company.
14:44And he said he'd go to, there's an Ace Trucking Company,
14:47an Ace typewriter, an Ace building.
14:48So we just thought it was funny.
14:51What was I just about to say?
14:52You were just about to say that you watched a show
14:55that had too many shits in it?
14:56Well, no, in the 40s, the actors had crutches.
15:00They had a cigarette, they had a drink, you know.
15:02Yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:03But now their crutch is to throw in the F word.
15:05And they're just really, oh, fuck, I'll tell you, fuck it.
15:07And then you see, you know, you're really doing something.
15:09Yeah, yeah.
15:10That's the new crutch.
15:11A few times I've had to say it, it gets a huge response.
15:14So it gets so, oh, it felt good.
15:16Maybe I should say it.
15:17Yeah, because it's a surprise coming from you.
15:19And when you do see somebody do something, like, genuinely hilarious,
15:23not using that crutch, it just becomes that more evident.
15:26Like, oh, that guy's, like, Brian Regan, for instance.
15:28You have to say Brian Regan?
15:30I love Brian Regan, yeah.
15:32He's completely creative.
15:32You must hate him because he's funny.
15:34Oh, my love is my favorite.
15:36Oh, is he your favorite?
15:37Yeah.
15:38And John Panette just passed away.
15:40I love him.
15:41I never saw him in person about listening to comedy radio.
15:43He always did the things about the buffet, and I was really upset.
15:46But, you know, he's fun.
15:47One of the nicest guys ever.
15:48I didn't know him.
15:49He's so funny.
15:49He died in a hotel room.
15:52What are you insinuating?
15:54I think you know more about this than you're pretending.
15:57No, I'm just telling you straight out.
15:58There was blood all over and a knife, and the window is broken.
16:02My fingerprints were there, and I don't know.
16:04All I'm saying is when you die, you don't want it in your obituary.
16:08He was found by a maid.
16:12That would not be good, right?
16:13Oh, Robert Klein used to say that he didn't want to be identified by his dental photographs.
16:20You don't want to be described as an innocent bystander.
16:26He meant to shoot someone else.
16:28That's the worst way to go.
16:29You're an innocent bystander.
16:30You're just standing by, innocently.
16:34Let's get serious.
16:35There's a lot of world topics.
16:36If you die, this is what I always, this is a big cause of death.
16:40You have your heart attack, your cancer, but then complications, which basically means
16:45the doctor fucked up.
16:47I thought it was a simple operation.
16:49My dad's dead.
16:50It was a little complicated.
16:51Complications of a cold.
16:53It was simple in the book, but when we cut him up and there was a lot of red stringy
16:57stuff,
16:57it was very complicated.
16:59Can you ask him a question?
17:02Not to go back to Ace's trucking company.
17:05Tell him about the comedy store.
17:07I manage the comedy store on Sunset, and I always find it fascinating.
17:11The world-famous comedy store, it's called.
17:13We have Argus Hamilton's there every night.
17:15Argus Hamilton?
17:16You don't have him?
17:16I know him?
17:17Sure, of course.
17:18I love comedy.
17:19I love stand-up comedy.
17:21And I love it.
17:22What were you going to say?
17:23I was just going to ask you about...
17:24There's not a lot of babies named Fred.
17:27It's like a name that you don't see...
17:29That's true.
17:29It's an older name.
17:31My father was Frederick.
17:32We named my grandson Freddy.
17:34That's right.
17:34I love Freddy.
17:36Freddy must be 10 now.
17:3710.
17:39He's so old, he drove himself to the Dodgers game.
17:42He's 16 years old.
17:43Is he 16, Freddy?
17:43Drove himself down.
17:44This is my grandson.
17:46And he's a rabid Dodger fan.
17:51Yeah.
17:51I knew he was rabid, but I didn't know that he liked the Dodgers.
17:55But we put a Muslim because he can't bite.
17:59Don't bite.
17:59I saw him at the cone.
18:01Yeah.
18:02But you had your question about the comedy store.
18:04Yeah.
18:05No.
18:05I was wondering if there were any interesting stories.
18:09Do you remember what it was like at the comedy store at that time?
18:13Or did you not spend a lot of time there?
18:14I do remember.
18:15I mean, that and the improv were the places to go.
18:18I didn't go in.
18:19I knew Bud Friedman at the improv, so I hung out there more.
18:22Well, you used to wear a monocle also, didn't you?
18:25I tried, yes.
18:26But it never worked.
18:27No.
18:28Do you think that's a good comedy prop, a monocle?
18:30A monocle.
18:31Mine was on a stick, you know, I'd hold it up like, no, the glasses, oh my dear.
18:35And then people said, it's a bit effeminate.
18:38I said, no, I thought it was a little bit British.
18:40Well, Steve O'Donnell always tells me about the Cleveland Barons mascot was a monocled.
18:47Top hat?
18:48Yeah, the top hat and a monocle.
18:49I forget.
18:50I remember that was a minor league hockey team.
18:52Worst mascot ever.
18:54Because we had, even as a kid, we had the Indians and the Browns.
18:56Yeah.
18:57And to find out that the local hockey team was a minor league team.
19:00Well, imagine a hockey player with a monocle?
19:02Well, I forget that, but I did see one game.
19:05I just noticed how Ohio has the most racist team names ever.
19:09Who does?
19:09The Browns and the Indians.
19:11Well, the Browns, I don't think they're mad.
19:13They're named after Brown, they're called.
19:15Yeah, come on.
19:15Oh, that's fine.
19:16It wasn't racist, they didn't even let black guys play.
19:18No, there's no racism there.
19:21They avoided racism.
19:22Exactly.
19:24Now, we have a question here.
19:25Hats off to them for avoiding those racial incidents.
19:28Top hats off to them.
19:29There's a question here from the internet, Loose Caboose.
19:32Uh-oh.
19:32That's what he calls himself.
19:33He says, starting out, you co-founded a comedy troupe called the Ace Trucking Company.
19:38Did you get a lot of confused phone calls from distributors looking to ship grapefruit to the Midwest?
19:43No, we didn't.
19:44Not that I know of.
19:45It's hard when they're funny and they're questions.
19:47The question is funny.
19:48The answer is very dull.
19:51Well, you want to hear another one?
19:52Oh, I'd love to.
19:53From Rogers Follies, and he spells it with a Z, Rogers, instead of an S.
19:57A Z, as I would say.
19:59You're involved in a lot of charities involving pets and animals.
20:02Uh-huh.
20:03But come on.
20:04There must.
20:05And then it's big.
20:07He's vehement about something.
20:08Yeah, there must be some animals you're not crazy about, though.
20:11Come on, which one?
20:12Well, I wouldn't want to find out that there's a snake in my bedroom.
20:14Yeah.
20:15But I also wouldn't want someone to come over to kill the snake.
20:20Rats, you don't want them in your house.
20:22Possums?
20:22They're cute.
20:23Around our house, we have skunks.
20:25One thing that bugs me about a skunk, if you could reason with them, if they didn't spray, they'd be
20:30fine.
20:30They're cute.
20:31Yeah.
20:31Well, the same with, it reminds me of Freddy.
20:34Yeah.
20:35With his biting and chewing.
20:36He sprays sometimes?
20:37No, he doesn't spray.
20:38Oh, he doesn't spray anymore?
20:40But if a skunk can leave well enough alone, but everyone's in our house.
20:42Freddy will love this show.
20:44Huh?
20:45This would be a great show for Freddy to watch.
20:48Because we've mentioned him.
20:48It would be a great show for him to be on once you get him talking.
20:51He's a great knowledgeable body.
20:52Is there comedy in his blood?
20:56He just did, and I don't like to brag, but a year ago in his eighth grade class, he played
21:02Professor Harold Hill in The Music Man.
21:04Oh, The Music Man.
21:06Well, you've got trouble, my friend.
21:07And it was my favorite musical.
21:09Robert Preston.
21:10Robert Preston, yes.
21:12And my favorite musical, and I dreaded going to see it.
21:15I said, if he screws this up.
21:17Yeah, sure.
21:17But they did three shows, and he killed it.
21:19He was wonderful.
21:20And I told him, I said, Brady, you don't ever have to do anything else in your life.
21:23His parents didn't like that advice, but I told him.
21:26That's sweet.
21:26We will return to talk more about Fred Willard's grandson.
21:31No, no.
21:32Let's concentrate on me.
21:38Oh, the Stan Harper show.
21:39It's Hooper.
21:40Sam Hooper.
21:41Hooper.
21:41Hooper, yes.
21:42I meant it was Stan Hooper.
21:43One of the funniest shows.
21:44Oh, that's nice.
21:45And I say that only because I'm here.
21:48No, it was one of the funniest.
21:50North Sunday is your favorite line of the whole series was the line that was written for you.
21:55I wrote a line for you with your son coming back from a hunting trip, and you said to
22:01your son, this will be a great memory that I'll always cherish long after you're dead.
22:11He played sort of a psychopathic cheese mogul.
22:14Oh, that's right.
22:15Yes, yes.
22:16In town, yes.
22:16The big cheese.
22:17Yeah, that was great.
22:17We did 13, didn't we?
22:18Oh, yeah.
22:18It was a good show.
22:20God dang it.
22:21Billy Jones says, you're neighbors with Joanne Worley.
22:25Is that a treat or a horrible living hell?
22:28Well, let's fall to the beginning.
22:29We're not neighbors.
22:30We're very good friends.
22:31Yes, I've seen her at your parties, and she's so funny.
22:34She's so full of fun.
22:34She comes to the party, hello!
22:37How does she now work?
22:38She does.
22:39She works all.
22:40She does a lot of regional theater.
22:42Oh, regional theater, right?
22:45Individual things.
22:46No, she's got the energy.
22:47I meant factual work, not regional theater.
22:50But I bring this up because Mickey Rooney just passed away.
22:53Now, Mickey Rooney, you just met him.
22:56I just met him at the Polo Lounge.
22:59It was some event.
23:00Oh, it's when the Walt Disney movie opened.
23:03Sure, Fantasia.
23:05Save Mr. Banks.
23:06Save Mr. Banks.
23:07And we were invited to the Polo Lounge to see the Sherman, Richard Sherman, play music and meet the cast.
23:12And there's Mickey Rooney.
23:14You're thinking of Mickey Mouse.
23:15Is this Fantasia?
23:16No, this is Mickey Rooney.
23:17Mickey Rooney, yeah.
23:19And he was there and I went up and I, hello.
23:21But he was at the point where it was like, ah, you know, he didn't quite know who I was,
23:25although I'd met him.
23:26And then I said, I'd love to get a picture with him.
23:28But I was afraid.
23:29I was afraid that he might snap at me.
23:31Yeah, yeah, yeah.
23:32So we went in the other room and I kept talking about my wife.
23:34And I said, go, just sit down and get a picture.
23:37And I went in and he'd gone.
23:38He'd left.
23:39And then when I saw, when I saw he passed away, I was really, I mean, he, he was legendary.
23:44But I don't want to be.
23:45You were upset about the picture.
23:46No, the picture, what, what that would have sold for now.
23:51Why?
23:52Why?
23:53No, but I, I don't want to be sentimental, but he was in movies from a little kid.
23:58Goodness gracious.
23:59So even when you were a child, you remember him?
24:01Mickey Rooney.
24:02Yes, sure.
24:03Of course, when I was a child.
24:04Because I put him in a show once and, you know, on my show and he, afterwards he said, thanks
24:08for the gig, buddy.
24:09And I was like, this is the biggest box office guy.
24:11And he's hanging a bum like me, you know, but it brought me to think like, I always like to
24:17see an old guy.
24:19Those guys are the funniest, but they don't work, you know, just Betty White.
24:23Yeah, because of that commercial she did.
24:25There's a lot of old times.
24:26The Cloris Leachman is hysterical.
24:28Yeah.
24:29And I don't know.
24:30They think that young people won't like old people.
24:34When I was a kid, I, I got involved with Al Jolson with, you know, when they brought, I don't
24:38know.
24:39Oh, old Mary, what?
24:39Well, no, no, not back in his 1920s.
24:42I was just a kid when the jazz singer came out.
24:45I was just, I was in high school.
24:47No, no, but when Jolson's, the Jolson's, Larry Parks, and I said, who was this guy, Al Jolson?
24:59Very, so I loved old people.
25:01I didn't, I wouldn't watch a show with someone my age.
25:04Today, young people, I guess, want to see another 18-year-old on the screen.
25:08I didn't want an 18-year-old.
25:09No, you wanted an old man.
25:10Bob Hope, you had a 40-year-old man looking at Harold James and Red Skelton.
25:15I saw Bob Hope live and talked to him when I was a child.
25:20And I watched him, you know, a giant, you know, he's such a big star, Bob Hope.
25:26So I was at the Canadian National Exhibition, you know, which holds 30,000 people or something like that.
25:31And Bob Hope, just astonishingly funny.
25:35And, you know, like, you can't quote a Bob Hope joke.
25:39Yeah.
25:39Because his jokes all were bad.
25:41Yeah.
25:41But he was so fantastic.
25:43So brash.
25:44Yeah.
25:45And, you know, when I saw him, he moved so subtly.
25:48He hardly moved on stage.
25:49But after a joke, he'd shift his weight slightly.
25:52And I thought later, he's such a physical comic in movies.
25:57Yeah.
25:57You know what I mean?
25:57He can dance and move.
25:58Yes, yes.
25:59But he knew in stand-up to just do this very subtle.
26:02But anyways, he's my favorite stand-up.
26:04Everybody says Pryor and Carlin.
26:06But Bob Hope is my favorite stand-up of all time.
26:08Oh, really?
26:09Yeah, you're right.
26:10He wasn't really that funny.
26:11He'd listen to the jokes.
26:12And a lot of it was very topical.
26:14Yeah.
26:14You hear it on comedy radio and Jerry Colonna.
26:16Hello!
26:17Yeah, yeah, yeah.
26:17It wasn't funny.
26:19Well, you know the thing between the jokes that, you know, Carson would do a saver or something.
26:24But Bob Hope would do a great thing where he'd do the joke, stare in the camera, and there'd be
26:28fear in his eyes as if he'd been found out or something.
26:31I remember as a child, like, really always wanting.
26:34And, of course, it was so great when you just walk on Carson.
26:37Yeah, uh-huh.
26:37And he's doing a special next door, you know.
26:40Well, we do that with Joanne Worley if we have a party.
26:42Yeah.
26:42If we have a Christmas party.
26:44We should be at the party for an hour.
26:45And then we sit her outside and she'll knock on the door.
26:47Who is it?
26:47It's Joanne Worley!
26:49Oh, I didn't know you were having a party.
26:52Joanne, can we coax a song out here?
26:54The first year she didn't, I don't know, and the next year she's, when do I come in?
26:57I wonder if I'm not going to do it.
26:58Fred has the greatest parties.
27:00Fourth of July, Christmas parties.
27:02But he doesn't come on.
27:03No, I can't.
27:04But I can't participate as much.
27:06I'm not as talented.
27:06No.
27:07It's filled with talented, you know, character actors, you know.
27:12Larry Storch will be there.
27:14Not Larry Storch.
27:15Larry Hankin.
27:16Oh, Larry Hankin.
27:17You probably work with Larry Storch.
27:18We have a new neighbor who we love.
27:21Larry Storch, I bet, is still alive.
27:23I think he probably is.
27:25Who lives across?
27:26Charlie Fox.
27:28That may not...
27:28Chuck Fox.
27:29Charlie Fox.
27:30He wrote the theme music to Happy Days, The Love Boat.
27:35He wrote just about everything.
27:36He must make a heck of a lot of money.
27:38I'm going to ask him something.
27:39Just, how much do you make?
27:41What would Norman Lear say to that?
27:43What?
27:43I say, what would Norman Lear say to that?
27:45Who's that?
27:46Norman Lear, you'll wait until that board.
27:50I got in a cabin.
27:51I went to Norman...
27:51I met Norman Lear one time at the Aspen Comedy Festival.
27:55And I come up to him.
27:55I said, because, you know, I loved All in the Family.
27:58It was my favorite show.
27:59So I said, All in the Family is my favorite show.
28:01I loved, you know, Archie Bunker was my favorite character ever.
28:04And he said, where's the...
28:06Is the car ready?
28:07And I'm like, no, I'm not getting your fucking car.
28:10I go, I'm a performer.
28:11I'm a guy in show business.
28:16That's funny, because he always intimidated me.
28:18And then I thought, like, if I was just...
28:19Even if I was the car guy, shouldn't you say thank you?
28:24Whatever.
28:25This is from ReRetired64.
28:29ReRetired.
28:30ReRetired.
28:30He quit once.
28:31And no one realized he quit.
28:34So he quit again.
28:35I quit.
28:36And there were two press conferences.
28:38Okay.
28:39This is, what's the funniest food, kumquats or octoroons?
28:44Well, an octoroon is a person, isn't it?
28:47Isn't it a type of people?
28:49Kumquats.
28:50Wait a minute.
28:50Are you saying...
28:51I've never had a kumquat.
28:52What's an octoroon?
28:53Well, I don't know.
28:53It seems to me some...
28:54Eighth of a black guy.
28:55Is that what you're going to say?
28:57Isn't it an octoroon Andy?
28:58It is an eighth of a black guy.
29:00Who is Andy?
29:02Who is Andy?
29:04You just said Andy.
29:05I was thinking of Andy Kindler, my good friend.
29:07I thought he was here.
29:10No.
29:10It's Adam.
29:11It's Adam.
29:11Well, Andy and Adam.
29:13That's great.
29:13That sounds close.
29:14Adam Sandler and Andy Sandberg.
29:16You're a boy.
29:18Adam.
29:19Yeah.
29:20How could I forget that?
29:20Adam.
29:23For Tala Galaxy says,
29:25you and Martin Mall played a gay couple on Roseanne.
29:27And I remember that because I wrote on that show while that happened.
29:31They wanted me to...
29:32I saw Roseanne.
29:33And you had a gay marriage.
29:35I think we were the first one on TV.
29:37Yeah.
29:37And she and Tom Arnold loved Fernwood.
29:41And I was at a party with him.
29:42I said, wouldn't it be funny if Martin was my boss,
29:44if I came on as his boss?
29:45Oh, funny.
29:46And then they called later.
29:47They said, we'd like you to come on and be Martin's gay lover.
29:50And I said, that doesn't seem to fit right.
29:52Yeah.
29:53And the next year, Martin called me.
29:55He says, they have an idea.
29:56That you're my gay lover.
29:58We get married and adopt a baby.
30:00And I said, okay, that's too good to miss.
30:02Yes.
30:03And I was scared to death because in the script,
30:05when we got married, it called for us to kiss each other.
30:08Good God.
30:09And I don't know if I'm, what, it's just for some reason that I didn't.
30:13You're homophobic, yeah.
30:14No, no, no, no.
30:15I wouldn't even kiss you.
30:16No, I understand.
30:17You're homophobic.
30:18No, no.
30:18There's nothing wrong with that.
30:19I know you're not gay.
30:21I know you're bisexual.
30:22But I still have my thoughts about kissing somebody you've known.
30:27It's like kissing your dad.
30:28Sure.
30:29On the mouth.
30:29Yeah.
30:30The last minute you said, you don't have to kiss.
30:31So we just kind of went in to embrace.
30:33Yeah.
30:33Even hugging your dad is not fun.
30:36No, I would hug my dad.
30:38Oh, that's nice.
30:39I hug a lot of people.
30:41You had a nice dad.
30:42Because I feel like my dad was of a certain age that he would not hug.
30:47You wouldn't hug?
30:47Oh, he would shake hands.
30:49He would shake hands.
30:49I called him sir.
30:51Did you really?
30:52Yeah.
30:52When I was a kid, a lot of people had to call their father sir.
30:54Yeah, sure.
30:55I did not come from a fun family.
30:57You sound like you did, though.
30:58You didn't come from a fun family.
30:59I did not.
31:00I had aunts and uncles who were a lot of fun.
31:01So that was my comedy relief.
31:03Yeah, oh, yeah.
31:03If they'd come over.
31:04My Aunt Hazel was the funniest.
31:06And then it turned out she was like, she was drunk.
31:09That's what made her so funny.
31:11Oh, sure.
31:11But as a kid, I didn't know.
31:13Yeah, my aunts and uncles were a couple of drunks.
31:16And one, my aunt was, she'd drink.
31:19And she'd married, her first husband died.
31:22She'd married someone else.
31:23We were at a party.
31:23And she was like that.
31:24And he said, Betty, wake up and finish your drink.
31:29So liquor was a big thing back in me.
31:32Yeah, liquor and cigarettes, that was a big thing.
31:35One time my aunt Hazel was drunk.
31:37And she fell asleep during a party on a chair.
31:40And at 4 o'clock in the morning in Canada at the time,
31:45they ran the Lucy Show from 4 to 4.30, then 4.30 to 5.
31:49And at 4.30 in the morning, so she just falls asleep.
31:51And, you know, and my dad can't wake her up or anything.
31:54The party ends, everyone leaves, and my aunt's still on the chair.
31:58And she wakes up, and Lucy shows up.
32:00She wakes up, she goes, I'll direct her.
32:02She goes, Gail Gordon, what time is it?
32:10Are there any funny moments from the writer's room over at Roseanne?
32:15Did you ever hear the, who, Jackie?
32:17No.
32:19Well, Roseanne, Roseanne hired me as a, you know, I was doing stand-up,
32:22and Roseanne said, would you like to be on the show and act?
32:24You know, you're going to be Laurie's boyfriend.
32:27I said, I can't act.
32:28I should have said I could act.
32:29Yeah.
32:31So anyway, she said, well, why don't you be a writer?
32:33But one time in the writing room, she would give jobs to crazy guys sometimes,
32:37and she gave jobs to African-American.
32:39I don't know what you call them.
32:41I call them African-Americans.
32:43That's those two words that I never heard in the state of Texas, you know.
32:47That's a joke someone told me.
32:49So he said, this one guy, so I don't want to say his name, but he's a writer.
32:54He was a comic at the comedy store, and just a guy, you know, not really a writer.
33:00So he says, he never says anything in the room.
33:03He's there for like two years, and finally he goes, I got an idea.
33:06And Brent's like, you do, David?
33:08Well, his first name is David.
33:10So he goes, yeah.
33:12He goes, what would happen if Dan came home and Roseanne was washing her big ass in the sink?
33:21That sounds funny.
33:23That sounds very funny.
33:24So everybody's like, yeah, you know, he's an African-American, so he's like, yeah, that's good money.
33:30And he goes, yeah, but he says, the thing is, it turns out it ain't Roseanne.
33:36It's Roseanne's twin sister.
33:38And then, so they say, well, Roseanne already, you know, we already have Jackie.
33:42He goes, who Jackie?
33:44He's been on the show for two years.
33:46Who Jackie?
33:47You know?
33:47The main character.
33:48Laurie Metcalf's character.
33:50That's one like, not Amy's and stuff.
33:53He was thinking of look-alike sister.
33:55Yeah, he was thinking of one of those twins.
33:59We were talking earlier, you know, because, you know, in a lot of the early shows, they would have a
34:04twin, and it would be, you know, Serena on Bewitched.
34:08You know, it would be played by Elizabeth Montgomery.
34:10She would play her own twin.
34:13But, Conrad Bain has an actual twin brother.
34:16That's right.
34:17That's a little known.
34:18A little known fact.
34:19And you know who else?
34:20No.
34:21You don't know this.
34:22Paul Simon.
34:23What?
34:24According to Steve O'Donnell, Paul Simon has an identical twin brother.
34:30And Daniel Callison, who you refer to as David Callison, Daniel Callison said that he gets all, people come up
34:38to him, you're Paul Simon, aren't you?
34:39No, I'm his twin brother.
34:41Yeah, poor shit.
34:43So he's like, all right, I'll sign you.
34:47You ever know any twins?
34:48There's a lot of twins now.
34:49It's kind of freaky.
34:50Yeah.
34:51Twins.
34:51Isn't it, what is freaky about it?
34:53Well, to have someone, two people look exactly alike.
34:56Yeah.
34:56I would be very freaked out if I had a brother who looked exactly like me.
35:01It's one thing if it's a fraternal twin, but it's, you know, it'd be kind of weird.
35:04I always thought with twins, let's say, like, let's say you had an exact twin.
35:09Uh-huh.
35:10Now, Mary Willard, your wife.
35:12Oh, here we go.
35:13There could be a lot of, uh.
35:15Wouldn't you go like, how do you not find him attractive?
35:18Do you know what I mean?
35:18That's true.
35:19He looks exactly like me.
35:20Yeah.
35:21And he's much better at sucking and fucking.
35:23No, no.
35:24No, no.
35:24But that, how would you know that?
35:27That's a lot of pranks you could pull, right?
35:30I'd send him in to make love to my wife, and he'd say, the joke's on you!
35:33The joke's on you!
35:35That's a hell of a prank.
35:36I said sucking and fucking, and you said, make love.
35:39I'm trying to keep the show.
35:44This is what you never hear.
35:46He made love to me in the ass.
35:53That is true.
35:54You never hear that.
35:58Odd.
36:00We're building to the end of the show.
36:01You got to top that.
36:06But he just heard it.
36:08But the folks at home at home.
36:10So I was watching Run Away with the Rich and Famous with Robin Leach, and I just told you
36:15the story.
36:16But the folks at home.
36:17And it was beautiful.
36:18It's a beautiful paradise.
36:19But what did he say about it?
36:20Oh, he said, Bora Bora.
36:22It has everything.
36:24Bora Bora, it has everything.
36:25White sands, majestic vistas, clear water.
36:29Bora Bora has everything.
36:31Everything but Tony Danza.
36:35And then Tony Danza showed up.
36:37He showed up.
36:37And then he completed it.
36:40Okay, so this is where we do jokes.
36:42This is the section where we do jokes.
36:43It's kind of comic relief.
36:45Okay.
36:48So would you like to do a joke?
36:49If I can think of one.
36:50Well, no, I can give them to you.
36:51Oh, you give them to me?
36:52Oh, that's great.
36:52This is a great thing.
36:53The guest doesn't have to think up a funny story or a joke.
36:56We give them to them to read.
36:58That's great.
36:58Wouldn't it be great if your whole career could be like that?
37:01Wouldn't it be great?
37:02Here's a bunch of great jokes that are going to kill.
37:04Well, that's what this show is all about.
37:06So this is a topical joke about the flight.
37:08But you just read it.
37:09You don't read ahead.
37:10Oh, no?
37:11You can if you want.
37:12Malaysian Flight 370 is still missing.
37:15You know where they're going to find it?
37:16The last place they look.
37:19Is that the best one?
37:20That's kind of a...
37:21Or is this better?
37:21There's two Malaysians.
37:22That's a joke on a joke.
37:24Why did you find something?
37:25Why is it always the last place you look?
37:27Because you stopped looking.
37:28A joke on a joke?
37:29So that's a joke.
37:30That's a comment.
37:30That's a very bright joke.
37:31It's not only a joke.
37:32It's a comment.
37:33A comment, yes.
37:34Now, this is a different Malaysian Air Force joke.
37:36The pilot's last words.
37:37I've had it with these motherfucking snakes on a motherfucking plane.
37:42That could be.
37:43Yeah.
37:44That could be.
37:46You're giving me these great jokes.
37:48Okay.
37:50Can you do an African-American accent?
37:52I'll try, yeah.
37:53Okay.
37:53We'll give you an African-American.
37:55An African-American.
37:56Your mom is so fat, she developed type 2 diabetes and congestive heart failure.
38:02Snap!
38:04I don't get that.
38:05I don't get that.
38:06So fat, she did something.
38:08Well, it's kind of an anti-joke.
38:10It's a literal, yes.
38:11Oh, okay.
38:11You know, these new meta jokes?
38:12Yeah, I don't know.
38:13I don't know that.
38:15Well, she's so fat, you expect a joke, but then she's just so fat.
38:18I get it.
38:18Have you ever seen George Wallace in Las Vegas?
38:20I love George Wallace.
38:21It's wonderfully funny.
38:22Yeah, with his brain.
38:22And he does his your mama jokes.
38:24No, I don't.
38:25Oh, your mama.
38:26And then they let people yell jokes from the audience and pretend he's upset by it.
38:29I thought of one.
38:30I'm talking about this.
38:31Hey, George, my mother is so fat, when she came to Vegas, they had to build another hotel.
38:35That's not bad.
38:36Was it good enough to send to George Wallace?
38:38Sure.
38:38Okay.
38:40Now, I've performed in front of black audiences, African-American audiences, as I call them.
38:44And, boy, they're funny.
38:46Like, they yell up funny things.
38:47Oh, boy.
38:48Rather than just like.
38:49Oh, do they?
38:49Yeah.
38:50Yeah, yeah.
38:50They yell up funny jokes.
38:51You know, I see a lot of these shows that just have black comics, and I tend to go buy
38:56them because I say I can't relate.
38:57But if you ever watch, they're hysterical.
38:59Yeah, yeah, yeah.
39:00Really good stuff.
39:01Sometimes you can't relate.
39:02I saw one time on Def Comedy Jam, and the guy goes, you got the do-rag.
39:06He goes, you know, I'm fucking my woman, you know, and I don't want to answer the phone.
39:11Oh, shit.
39:12It could be a job.
39:14And then, you know, after you take the do-rag, you wipe off your dick with the do-rag.
39:20And I'm like, no, I don't do that.
39:22But everyone in the audience is like, yeah, we all do that.
39:24We all wipe our dicks out.
39:27We're going to have Adam Eget do a joke.
39:30Oh, good.
39:32And it's Adam, not Andy.
39:33No, I know.
39:34I'm trying.
39:35I'm trying.
39:35You don't hear any more about.
39:37In the camera.
39:37Oh, sorry.
39:38You don't hear any more about Bob Costas' infected eye.
39:42Who is stonewalling this investigation?
39:47I'm thinking about a year I would work on my delivery.
39:52But if it's not working out.
39:55Yeah, I get it.
39:56I don't blame the joke.
39:57Throw a banana.
39:59Huh?
39:59Throw a banana.
40:00Do dirty work.
40:01But you read that like there was a thorough punchline.
40:04But.
40:06Yeah, it's.
40:06I think the joke is.
40:08You don't hear any more about Bob Costas' infected eye.
40:10Who's stonewalling this investigation?
40:16He's a consummate amateur.
40:20Refreshingly.
40:21Refreshingly.
40:22Refreshingly.
40:22It's a good.
40:23It's a funny joke.
40:24What about this joke?
40:24If thinking that women are not funny, emotionally irrational, and less intelligent than men makes me sexist, then yes, I
40:32am sexist.
40:35Another meta joke.
40:37Is it?
40:37Sort of.
40:40This would be a good joke for you, I feel, Fred.
40:43Okay.
40:43Just to the camera.
40:44Here's what I've learned.
40:45You beat up and toss one 19-year-old Hispanic hooker out a moving car, and they never let you
40:51forget it.
40:51Isn't that true?
40:52That is funny.
40:55I've got to tell you about a story in Canada that happened that's terrible.
41:02A guy was gay.
41:05It doesn't matter if he was gay or not.
41:07But he was a porn star.
41:09Or was he in porn?
41:10I think he was a porn character actor.
41:13What?
41:14No, I don't know.
41:15They all got in porn stars, but there must be porn character actors.
41:18William H. Mason.
41:19They had all these stars.
41:21Back in the old days, they were the great faces.
41:23They're great penises, the great faces.
41:26What a profile on this one.
41:28Yeah, today they're not.
41:28They're just all, no one can do an impression of the modern-day porn stars.
41:31Anyway, this guy was a porn star, and he was gay, and he had a lover, and he killed the
41:36lover, and ate part of him, and then the rest of me cut up, and he sent pieces of this
41:42guy's body to school children, and some of the pieces to, I mean, this guy was a real jerk.
41:56Oh, here's a joke.
41:57I don't think you should do this joke.
41:59I don't know.
42:00I don't know if anyone should do this joke.
42:01I remember a joke you did on, I think it was David Letterman.
42:05He said, David, have you ever seen a gay porn film?
42:09You watch adult films, and Dave said, yeah.
42:11Have you ever seen the one with All Man?
42:12He says, yeah, the gay ones.
42:14He said, they're awful.
42:20Made it sound like they couldn't get any women.
42:22It is funny.
42:24They just couldn't get any women, but we'll do a porn movie anyway.
42:28It's not going to go.
42:29No one's going to put money into this.
42:33I think that's you.
42:34I don't think I said that.
42:35This was a poor rental choice.
42:37I think you made that funnier than I was.
42:40But it is true that straight pornos are the best things ever, and gay pornos are the worst.
42:45They're not good enough.
42:46They're not good at all.
42:48That's too dirty.
42:49Let's do a nice joke to clean it up.
42:52Opinions are like assholes.
42:54Neil Patrick Harris wants to stuff...
42:58You should let me read this ahead.
43:03Opinions are like assholes.
43:05Neil Patrick Harris wants to stuff his cock in them.
43:08Oh, wait.
43:09That's just assholes.
43:12I didn't get a laugh, but I'm laughing.
43:14That's very funny.
43:16Have you ever heard of the genre of jokes?
43:20The Adam Eagot jokes.
43:22No.
43:22They're jokes about Adam Eagot.
43:24Oh, no, I have not.
43:26Have you met Adam Eagot?
43:27I had him.
43:28Yeah.
43:28So here's an Adam Eagot joke, for instance.
43:31April 15th is around the corner, and Adam Eagot asked his accountant for his extension.
43:36Oh, sorry.
43:38That's his penis surgeon.
43:39Ah.
43:41See, April 15th is around the corner, and Adam Eagot asked his accountant for his extension.
43:45Oh, sorry.
43:45That's his penis surgeon.
43:47Yeah.
43:48Oh, that's his penis surgeon.
43:50That wants an extension.
43:51He famously has a small cock.
43:53For his accountant.
43:54Right.
43:55For his...
43:57For his...
43:58Taxes.
43:59Yeah.
44:01He asked his accountant for his tax extension.
44:06Oh, I'm sorry.
44:07He asked his surgeon for his penis extension.
44:11Just to reword that.
44:14Yeah.
44:15Well, the show is over.
44:20We're done.
44:21Thanks to the great Fred Willard.
44:22I thought this would never end.
44:24My pleasure doesn't end.
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