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00:00One thing that hasn't changed in teaching hospitals, burnout still comes for all the interns.
00:05I'm sorry, you incurred a small scar during surgery, but I'd like to remind you, you're alive.
00:10You're welcome.
00:10Dr. Green, happy Friday.
00:12Have you got any plans for the weekend?
00:13I do, but you know who doesn't? Your patient in 402. She's very dead. Sign here.
00:20You're a dream.
00:21So I have to choose between rectal pain, constipation, and a penis?
00:25I haven't seen the top half of a person in weeks.
00:28It's one of the worst things about this job.
00:30Unless you're Winston.
00:32He's definitely going into proctology.
00:34Yeah.
00:35Hey, guys, gather round.
00:37Time to pick them all up.
00:39Look, y'all, this job is very hard, but just remember, difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations.
00:46Did you get that from a greeting card?
00:47No, Deshaunna. I got it from those little lady chocolates with inspirational messages on the wrapper.
00:52Fire off another gem.
00:53Guys, be the woman you know is inside of you.
00:58Think about it.
01:02Wow. You have shockingly smooth hands.
01:05Oh, I wish I could say I was born with these, but it's most likely my moisturizing gloves.
01:09You want them?
01:10You know what? Just, you take them. Save me from myself.
01:13You're welcome.
01:17Dude!
01:18What in the actual heck? That girl was smoking. She was speaking to you.
01:22I didn't even notice. What's wrong with me?
01:24It's the lady candies. Boy, they're messing with your testosterone.
01:27They make me feel fierce and independent.
01:29Give me that.
01:30Now, you listen to me. I love you.
01:31But I can't get any more 3 a.m. texts about how lonely you are.
01:35I'm a U fan and a Bulls fan.
01:37You're both in slumps and I need one of y'all to win.
01:39Hank, you're shoplifting.
01:40I am not!
01:42Yes!
01:44Blowing my chance with the girl of my dreams put me in a funk.
01:47But maintenance guy and I had a great ritual when no one was around.
01:51Be strong.
01:52You be strong.
01:54We got this.
01:57Where the hell have you been?
01:59Good morning, Jordan.
02:00Ever since Cox got diagnosed, Jordan has been all over me.
02:04You know you can't keep us waiting. For God's sake, Jordan's scales almost dried out.
02:08I'll allow that because you're sick.
02:10It's his mom's fault. She was genetically weak, too.
02:14I have Viking blood.
02:15Oh, that must be nice for pillaging and whatnot.
02:17So, come on. Be useful.
02:19How's he doing?
02:20Save your breath.
02:21I'm super.
02:23We're done.
02:23Ah, Perry, you know very well that I have to get some blood work on you and check your sed
02:28rate and CRP.
02:29I also need to do a quick physical exam.
02:31Oh, do what I do.
02:33When you touch him, picture Jamie, my personal trainer.
02:37It makes it way more tolerable.
02:39Take your clothes off.
02:40And I'd like to see that picture of Jamie.
02:44You okay, Ash?
02:45Uh, I lost a patient.
02:47I'm sorry.
02:48And Amara put me into the zone of friends.
02:50The friend zone.
02:51Asher, my boy, I've been there.
02:53It'll turn around.
02:55Knowing Asher got kicked in his emotional testicles made me happy I wasn't an intern.
02:59I'm so glad all my old problems are behind me.
03:02Good day, sir.
03:03Janitor?
03:04Miss me?
03:05In a suit.
03:06It's janitor by janitor.
03:11I can't do this all on my own.
03:15No, I know.
03:16I'm no Superman.
03:21I'm no Superman.
03:24Wow.
03:2430 years.
03:25It's actually only been 17.
03:27Well, then you have aged rather poorly.
03:29Why are you here?
03:30You know what?
03:31It doesn't matter.
03:31I'm the chief of medicine now.
03:32You have no power over me.
03:34Oh, but I do.
03:36See, you're not the only chief around here.
03:38You happen to be looking at the chief custodian of the Joint Commission.
03:41You're on the Joint Commission.
03:43So you heard of us.
03:44I'm going to inspect the whole place.
03:47I'll be in your office.
03:48I change the locks.
03:49I change the back.
03:53Mr. Jensen was at his daughter's rehearsal dinner.
03:56Aw.
03:56Not finished when he puked and passed out.
03:59And I take back my off.
04:00He's going to be okay, right?
04:01The wedding's tomorrow.
04:02Sweet girl, I wouldn't miss that wedding for anything.
04:05My dad missed my wedding because his college swim team had a reunion.
04:08Had to get my most masculine aunt to walk me down the aisle.
04:12I know an ayahuasca shaman who could maybe make a dent in some of that trauma.
04:16Hmm.
04:17Yesterday, I heard my shrink mumble, Jesus.
04:19So, yeah, I should probably try that.
04:21Yeah.
04:23Hey.
04:24Hey.
04:24Hey.
04:25Hey.
04:25STD's girl.
04:26STD's girl.
04:28So, you're going to wingman for your boy?
04:30Hold on.
04:30You want me to holler at another woman?
04:32That sounds like a trap.
04:33It's not a trap.
04:34Look, JD is at our house way too much.
04:37It's like a fifth daughter.
04:38You know what?
04:38You're absolutely right, baby.
04:40And if you want me to dust off my little player's handbook and charm this woman into sleeping with me,
04:44I'm going to do that.
04:46For us.
04:48That is not what I said.
04:51Hey, Ma.
04:54I'm going to keep it real with you, Shorty.
04:56You're fine.
04:57And I saw you trying to get chocolate at the gift shop, and I was like, damn, she got it
05:01like that?
05:03And she liked chocolate?
05:05How about you hook a brother up and drop those digits into my sidekick?
05:09What's good?
05:10You're really going to come at me with that?
05:12That tired, early 2000s?
05:15Hey, Ma, Shorty this, Shorty that nonsense?
05:17I was just...
05:18Let me guess.
05:19You had a lame-ass flat top.
05:21My flat top was awesome.
05:22Bet you can't grow one now.
05:29I lost all my game, baby.
05:30It's like my flavor expired.
05:31I know.
05:32It's adorable.
05:34It was her.
05:36I knew what I had to do.
05:37Although I am a bit rusty.
05:39Wait.
05:39Turk taught me what to say.
05:41Hey, Shorty.
05:42You fine.
05:43Let me holler at you.
05:45Is it holler or holler?
05:47What are you doing?
05:48I'm practicing things to say, so hopefully I can meet a new woman again.
05:51Oh, I think I can speak for all women when I say, maybe try dudes.
05:55Can I help you with something?
05:56Actually, you can.
05:57I don't think Perry respects you as a doctor.
06:00You know he's refusing any of the blood tests you ordered.
06:02Why?
06:03It's just a little prick and it lasts two minutes.
06:05Oh, is that why Elliot left you?
06:07Goodbye.
06:09Hey, Jordan.
06:10Long time no see.
06:11I know, and I'm so grateful.
06:13Will you accept the still mean and hot five?
06:16I will.
06:17Ah, look at that.
06:19Hopeless, overwhelmed by death.
06:21Each one of them with a slouched, defeated posture of intern burnout.
06:25My money's on TikTok, Dr. Snap first.
06:27Oh, my God.
06:28What is wrong with you?
06:30You're right.
06:30Fairy Potter's about seconds away from dropping out of Hogwarts.
06:34Look, I almost called it when I was an intern.
06:36Dr. Kelsey used to leave business cards in my locker for strip clubs he thought could use
06:39a crying blonde.
06:41So I'm not going to bet against these kids.
06:43I'm going to help them.
06:44Good luck with that.
06:49Look, you guys, I know it's been a really crappy day, but I want to try and get a dad
06:52to his daughter's wedding.
06:53Who's in?
06:53I got a doctor.
06:55Okay, how's this?
06:56You have to help.
06:57It's kind of a start.
06:59Tried it.
06:59Not as fun as it sounds.
07:03What is going on?
07:04Do you not respect me as a doctor?
07:06I've been trying to tell you that for 20 years, and you finally get it.
07:10I am so very proud of you.
07:12What the hell, man?
07:13Why didn't you get those tests?
07:14I'm going to let you in on a little something.
07:18If you tap on the wall back there, you will find Kelso's secret stash of porn from the
07:2330s.
07:24Have you ever watched a naughty movie set to old-timey piano music?
07:31Nope.
07:31Quit being a pain in the ass and tell me what is going on.
07:35Fine.
07:36I think the treatment is working, and I feel okay right now.
07:38If I go ahead and get these tests, and they tell me something different, that all goes
07:43away.
07:44Listen to me.
07:45I truly believe that going into these things with a positive headspace makes a complete
07:51difference.
07:51You're the one who taught me this.
07:53So you need to turn your whole attitude around and go get those tests.
07:58And you do respect me as a doctor.
08:02Okay.
08:03Okay to everything I said?
08:05The attitude and the test thing.
08:07If I started to respect you, I'd have to go ahead and have them drain all the blood
08:11out of me, because dementia will have set in.
08:13This has been a lovely patient doctor conference.
08:16Out of my office.
08:17It's actually my office, but we'll save that fight for another time.
08:20Get out.
08:24Oh boy.
08:25It's 2000s, guy.
08:26I'm sorry.
08:26I know my husband came off a little creepy earlier.
08:29He tried to pick me up.
08:30Yeah, if I was trying to pick you up, you would have got picked.
08:32Calm down.
08:34Look, we think you're so lovely.
08:36Let me stop you, okay?
08:38No judgment on your lifestyle, but I'm pretty traditional.
08:42I'm really just looking for a nice, sensitive guy who would rather watch a musical than a
08:46football game.
08:47Oh my God, you're perfect.
08:49You are.
08:50Can't you just please come upstairs with us?
08:51It'll only take a couple of minutes.
08:52I'm going to walk away.
08:54And if you follow me, I'm going to yell stranger danger.
08:57And I'm short enough where people think I'm a child all the time.
09:01Looks like we're going to have to find another hot lady to have sex with us.
09:04Are you out of your damn mind?
09:07Okay team, what's our goal?
09:08To get Mr. Jensen to the wedding.
09:10Woo!
09:10Oh, can I get some woos from the rest of you?
09:13D-Train does the woos for the group.
09:14Woo!
09:15Fine.
09:15He has a possible bowel obstruction.
09:17What do we need to do?
09:18Get him to mobilize his intestines on his own.
09:19Correct.
09:20And when will we know if that happens?
09:22When he, as you will say, passes gas.
09:24Everything comes down to poo and toots.
09:27Blake, Tosh, get him on neostigmine.
09:28Asher, get a stat CT.
09:30Amara, Deshauna, drop an NG tube.
09:32We have got this.
09:33Woo!
09:37Aw, feeling left out.
09:39You shouldn't have established yourself as the mean one.
09:41Now you don't get to kiki in the group chat.
09:43Yeah, I think you're the biggest bitch in the building.
09:46Sweetie, I may be bitchy, but I love those children.
09:48Watch this.
09:49Tosh, your hair is trash today.
09:51Go fix yourself in the mirror, honey.
09:52You look like you've spent the night on all fours.
09:54Okay, vibes.
09:55My wish.
09:56Glock it.
09:56Glock it, baby.
09:58Baby.
09:58You got all that NQ and you're still too stupid to see your plain old mean.
10:01Now watch me walk.
10:06Don't panic.
10:07I found a bomb.
10:08That's a toaster.
10:09I know it's a toaster.
10:11Could I turn it into an exploding toaster?
10:13Yes, have done.
10:14Many a time.
10:14Why?
10:15Mostly to avoid paying debt.
10:16Look, in a hospital with compressed oxygen, this is basically a bomb.
10:22You want to pass your inspection next month, don't you?
10:24Yes.
10:25Okay.
10:26Get rid of all those open containers.
10:28Cutting down on rats by 10% always helps.
10:31You know what?
10:31I don't believe you're on the Joint Commission for one second, so let's give them a ring.
10:35Oh, no.
10:36I'm caught.
10:37Oh, hold that.
10:38I have to take this.
10:41Hello, Joint Commission.
10:42Please listen closely as our menu has changed.
10:44For movie times, press one.
10:46For two, press five.
10:49Hey, don't you walk away from me.
10:51I care about this place.
10:53Blonde doctor.
10:54Bald doctor.
10:56Todd didn't like him.
10:57So we decompressed him.
10:58We gave him meds to stimulate peristalsis.
11:01Now we wait for what?
11:01Tosh.
11:02We wait for him to chew.
11:04Was that good?
11:05It was absolutely horrible.
11:06Oh, Dr. Reed!
11:09So there's no obstruction.
11:12Finally, something I hadn't seen on my intern's faces in a long time.
11:16A little joy.
11:18Wait, what's happening?
11:22Complete heart block.
11:23Set up a transvenous pacing wire.
11:25Dad?
11:25But it never seems to last around here.
11:27Okay, put him inside.
11:29Come on.
11:36These test results didn't help.
11:42You know what, Obie?
11:43You were right.
11:45Guy dialed in the positive thinking, got off my ass,
11:47even found the energy to go kick in the glass of that vending machine
11:50when it wouldn't give me my son chips.
11:53I'm back, baby.
11:55Go ahead and give me the good news.
11:57Perry, unfortunately, your test results weren't what we were hoping for.
12:07I'm not sure why.
12:10But the treatment isn't working.
12:15I'll be damned.
12:20Good morning.
12:21You get your test results back?
12:24Not yet.
12:25Why not?
12:25It's been a day.
12:28What's happening here?
12:30I was making breakfast.
12:31Jesus, Perry.
12:33A little cream, please.
12:37Hair of the dog.
12:38Wow.
12:40I wasn't really awake yet,
12:41so I had no idea what Dr. Cox meant
12:43when he texted me,
12:44tell her nothing.
12:46Good morning, sunshine.
12:48Now I get it.
12:49I knew I wouldn't be interrupting you
12:51with a sexually satisfied woman of any kind,
12:54so I jimmied your door open.
12:55And now I gotta hire a man
12:57who knows how to use tools to fix that.
12:58If you're the chief of medicine,
12:59how come you haven't gotten Perry's test results back?
13:02Lie, but make it believable.
13:03I'm afraid of confronting people.
13:05Too real.
13:06You should change your pronouns.
13:08Why don't you grow a pair?
13:09Get dressed, you gotta drive me home.
13:10I know I Ubered here
13:11because I'm so a little buzzy
13:13from my morning coffee.
13:15The stress that the bowel obstruction
13:17put on your body
13:18uncovered a heart condition
13:20that luckily is very treatable.
13:23That's the good news.
13:25Dr. Turk?
13:27You really gonna make me do the bad news?
13:29Just shut up and do it, Turk.
13:32I know it's your daughter's wedding day,
13:34but that pacemaker needs to go in today.
13:37I want you to go ahead with your wedding.
13:39No, we'll postpone.
13:41We'll give you two a minute.
13:45You guys did a great job
13:46treating Mr. Jensen,
13:47so I want a woo.
13:49I'm not feeling it.
13:50Do you, Frank? Come on.
13:52Woo.
13:53Yeah, totally not worth it.
13:55Sometimes I hate this place.
13:58Sometimes I do, too.
14:00Sorry you guys couldn't
14:01get your patient to the wedding.
14:02And?
14:03And nothing.
14:04Being nice.
14:05Wait a second.
14:06Why can't we just have the wedding here?
14:08I'm not taking them
14:08to the OOR for a few hours.
14:10Have the wedding in this hospital?
14:12That's disgusting.
14:13We got married in this hospital, Kevin.
14:15Oh, well, then it's beautiful.
14:17If you guys need any help,
14:18just let me know.
14:21You know what?
14:22If this is what being nice is like,
14:23then I'm going back to being a bitch.
14:28Hey.
14:29Why doesn't Jordan know
14:30about your test results?
14:32Same reason I watched
14:33the Michael Jordan documentary
14:34eight minutes at a time
14:35on the toilet.
14:37So she never sees me tear up.
14:39Turk did the exact same thing,
14:41but I could hear him whimpering.
14:42I need to be strong
14:43and invulnerable for her,
14:45and you should understand that.
14:46It's the same thing
14:48you always wanted me to be for you,
14:50and while I resent you for it,
14:51I don't mind when she does it
14:54because on occasion
14:57she lets me have sex with her.
15:00Do you know what's better than sex?
15:03Emotional intimacy.
15:04Would you like to say that again out loud?
15:06No, I don't like the way it came out.
15:07So look,
15:08next time you see us,
15:09just go ahead and act like you're saying this
15:12for the first time,
15:13and I'll be prepared to be strong.
15:14I will not lie.
15:18But I will perform.
15:20While I ruminated about getting into character,
15:23I took solace in the fact
15:25that the interns had finally gotten a win.
15:28And by the power vested in me
15:30by a very progressive online church,
15:32I now pronounce you husband and wife.
15:34You may kiss your bride.
15:38It's easy to get used to the feeling
15:40that the hospital is a place
15:41where only bad things happen.
15:43So if you can make something beautiful happen there,
15:47wow,
15:48it really makes a difference.
15:50Good job.
15:52Elliot had shown them
15:53how to find light in the darkness.
16:00As fun as this was,
16:01it was time to perform.
16:04The numbers aren't what we hoped for.
16:05I'm sorry.
16:10Now, Jordan, honey,
16:11I can always tell
16:12when you're getting emotional.
16:14And don't.
16:15I'm all good.
16:16Even as a patient,
16:18you teach me
16:19how to be a better doctor.
16:21Nailed it.
16:21You are welcome.
16:23The fight starts today.
16:25Here we go, Jordan.
16:25Wait.
16:27My BS detector
16:28is beeping louder
16:29than when you say
16:30you like to hear my dreams.
16:31He's mean to me in my dreams.
16:33Same.
16:33So you guys knew about this
16:34the whole time?
16:35Twelve summers at theater camp,
16:37and that's the best you can do?
16:38I mostly did costumes.
16:40What the hell, Perry?
16:41I'm sorry.
16:42I just...
16:44I love the way you see me,
16:46and I don't want to lose that.
16:47If it helps,
16:48I've always seen you
16:50as a whiny baby man.
16:53Why don't you let me
16:54be the strong one for once?
16:56Okay.
16:59If you stare at us any longer,
17:01we're going to have
17:01to start charging you.
17:03I just want what you guys have.
17:05It'll never happen.
17:06You don't have
17:07the pain threshold.
17:09Doesn't matter.
17:11Nothing can kill my mood.
17:12Oh, hey.
17:13This is a different toaster
17:16that I got for you
17:17as a gift.
17:20Don't plug it in here.
17:21Wait till you get home.
17:22No, thank you.
17:23Well, I'll just
17:24put it under your car.
17:25Run away.
17:26Any room.
17:26I have a patient to see.
17:32A couple there from...
17:34Hello.
17:35Hi.
17:36It's you.
17:36Hi, I'm, uh...
17:38I'm Charlie.
17:38J.D.
17:39Very nice to meet you.
17:39Nice to meet you.
17:40Officially.
17:43Oh, right.
17:44Grandma.
17:44Remember the cute guy
17:45I told you about
17:46that stole my lady candy?
17:47Okay.
17:48Time to challah at her.
17:49Hey, if you're a free leader,
17:51how do you feel
17:51about maybe being
17:52my plus one
17:53to a complete
17:54stranger's wedding reception?
18:04I think I'm starting
18:05to remember what fun is.
18:07She's the second
18:08from the right.
18:09I'd love to be
18:09her bad decision
18:10for the evening.
18:11Oh, it's the second
18:12from the right's been
18:12eyeing me since the ceremony.
18:14No.
18:16Take notes.
18:19She just took your girl.
18:21Come on.
18:22Let's dance.
18:24Two pints
18:25to the Penny's Pale Ale, please.
18:26How about you?
18:27Do you want to dance?
18:28I don't really dance.
18:30Cool.
18:36What?
18:37Blaming that on the alcohol.
18:39Our drinks haven't arrived yet.
18:40Shagity.
18:41Uh, okay.
18:43I really like you.
18:44I have since day one.
18:46I just think
18:47you're really sweet
18:48and funny
18:48and I think
18:49you deserve someone
18:49who also thinks that
18:50and that's this lady.
19:01Photo booth?
19:02Photo booth.
19:06Oh, just a heads up.
19:07My ex is here,
19:08but we're super close.
19:09It won't be awkward.
19:11Wow.
19:11She's beautiful.
19:12Yeah.
19:13What was she like in bed?
19:14Seriously?
19:15It was a joke.
19:17Oh, my God.
19:18You are wound
19:19so tight.
19:20I'm getting you a drink.
19:21What do you want?
19:22Don't say appletini.
19:23A man view, please.
19:28That was smooth.
19:29You want me to sneak
19:30you an appletini?
19:31I was just about
19:31to text you.
19:32A little alcohol
19:33really does loosen
19:34some people up.
19:37Turt needs to go
19:38to his gym.
19:41That's the thing
19:42about our world.
19:43No matter how hard
19:44it gets,
19:44we're here for each other.
19:46We pick each other up,
19:48cry with each other.
19:51We even make
19:51some bad decisions.
19:54Even though
19:54I was only pretending
19:55to like what tasted
19:56like the urine
19:57of a large bear,
19:58my smile was real.
20:03And, of course,
20:04if someone in the family
20:05is struggling,
20:06we're there.
20:07I have to go check
20:07on a patient.
20:08It's kind of important.
20:10Can I call you later?
20:11Oh, you think
20:12I'm going to be turned on
20:13because you have
20:13to go save a life?
20:16Well, you're right.
20:21Call me later.
20:22I will call you later.
20:23Don't meet anyone.
20:27Dr. Cox had asked me
20:28to come back to Sacred Heart
20:29and make a difference.
20:31And I don't know yet
20:32if I have.
20:33But as I look back
20:34at my students
20:36and my friends,
20:39I felt such gratitude
20:40for the difference
20:41this job had made in me.
20:44And now it was time
20:45to show up for the man
20:46who could finally admit
20:48he needed me.
20:51Sorry,
20:52that wasn't for you.
20:57Too late.
21:05So you were just
21:06going to leave
21:06without saying goodbye?
21:07I was hoping to.
21:09I left a list
21:10of things that need fixing
21:10with this young man.
21:12I would like you
21:13to meet my son.
21:15Hey, Dr. D.
21:17Maintenance guy
21:17is the janitor's son?
21:19Nice.
21:19This guy loves me.
21:21That's so great
21:21that your dad was able
21:22to get you a job here.
21:23Excuse me?
21:25Are you calling my boy
21:27a nepo baby?
21:28Daddy,
21:28did he just say
21:29I'm a nepo janitor?
21:31Ruh-roh.
21:32Yes, son, he did.
21:33I told you the world
21:34is a cruel place.
21:36You don't think
21:37I can get my own job?
21:39Oh, you're going
21:40to pay for this.
21:41There you go.
21:42Order restored.
21:44I thought we got this.
21:46We don't got this.
21:49I'll freeze it, then.
22:05I'll freeze it, then.
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