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00:02Música
00:35Hello, everybody. Hello, and welcome to another prestigious Grand Final.
00:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:44What a series it's been.
00:46We've seen each of our contestants at times soar like the mighty eagle of the plains.
00:51And we've also seen them be rubbish.
00:53But what will you all be talking about when the dust has settled?
00:57Will it be Victoria's repeated submission of greedy Esquire?
01:02Perhaps Morgana taking any opportunity to shove ice into her clothes?
01:05Maybe it'll be Guz's film masterpiece, Uar Blood.
01:09LAUGHTER
01:11Or Alan's guff-stiffened bathroom.
01:15It could be any of those fascinating insights into the human condition.
01:20It'll probably be that time that Desiree et son, though.
01:23So, for the last time, here they are. Please welcome...
01:28Alan Davis!
01:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:31Desiree Birch!
01:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:33Gus Kahn!
01:35Morgana Robinson!
01:37And Victoria Curran Mitchell!
01:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:42And next to me, a man who once told me,
01:44I always put my body on the potty,
01:46in case my front water becomes smelly back cake.
01:50LAUGHTER
01:51It's Little Anning's home!
01:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:55You all right? Yeah, I'm good.
01:57I thought I'd use this platform, the final,
02:00to reveal a part of my body I've never revealed before,
02:02I'm a bit nervous about.
02:03Oh, you've never revealed it to anyone?
02:04Well, I've revealed it to my closest family members.
02:06OK. My wife, my father, my cousin.
02:09The big three.
02:11Mum never gets a look in, does she?
02:13SHE LAUGHS
02:13She never makes the top three.
02:14No, well, not when it's this item.
02:15My tail.
02:17It's a real tail? Yeah.
02:19Are you going to show it to us?
02:20I'm going to show it to you.
02:20No?
02:21I don't know.
02:22I want you to imagine it a bit.
02:24I've imagined it.
02:25What did it look like?
02:25A horrible, disgusting, curly pig's tail.
02:31His tail is all off to one side.
02:33Well, I'm not going to show you till the end of the show,
02:34if you're going to be back.
02:37What?
02:37The final prize task, tail boy.
02:40You've asked him to bring in the most magnificent floppy thing.
02:43Wow.
02:44The most magnificent floppy thing will get a well-deserved five points,
02:47and the winner of the episode will get a quintet of magnificent floppy things
02:50to keep forever.
02:52Big ol' floppy thing.
02:54Gus Kahn.
02:55Yes.
02:56I know you're going to bring the flop.
02:57I wanted this final prize task to be poignant,
03:01to be something that saves lives.
03:04My magnificent floppy thing, it's a blood pressure monitor.
03:09Let me explain, if I can, please.
03:12If anyone can talk this up the rankings, it's you.
03:15Thank you, thank you.
03:16Before this fairly cheap invention, yeah, there was aunties and uncles
03:20up and down this country, who were there like,
03:23oh, I have a strange feeling in my chest.
03:24Ta!
03:25Dead.
03:25Finished.
03:26Gone.
03:26And because of this now, they are able to monitor and find the silent killer.
03:31That's what they call it in the medical world, isn't they?
03:33It's true.
03:33Find the silent killer before it strikes and takes them out the game.
03:36He sold it well.
03:38Oh, my God, he sold it well.
03:39Really?
03:40You ever worked in sales?
03:41Yeah, I have, by the way.
03:44You are one silver-tongued devil.
03:46Right, let's crash right back down to earth.
03:49Victoria.
03:50Now.
03:52When I think about what I have to show you now, I feel sad.
03:59Because it reminds me of a time before this series started,
04:03when we had to come up with our prizes.
04:05We'd bring things for you, Greg, a man who I thought loved above all
04:10jokes, comedy, laughter, happiness.
04:13And it is with that in mind that I offer you this...
04:18Battlefield Earth on DVD.
04:20You see the joke I'm going for there, Greg?
04:22Yeah, it was a flop, yeah?
04:23It was a flop.
04:23And as I reflect on that innocent time when I thought you would be pleased
04:29that someone had come up with a carefully crafted pun...
04:32This is called doubling down, isn't it?
04:34I want to weep.
04:36I don't mind it as a play on words, Victoria, it's nice.
04:39But, I mean, come on.
04:40When the inevitable cardiac arrest strikes me and the door opens,
04:45I'm going to be praying it's Gus and not you.
04:46You'll be.
04:49Better or worse than a heart monitor Morgana?
04:52It's Claudia Winkleman's fringe.
04:53The floppy fringe of Winkleman.
04:55Do you understand how much money that fringe has made?
04:58That mannequin does look like Claudia Winkleman.
05:00She's more than more tan than that.
05:01Is that her actual fringe?
05:03Yeah.
05:04No, that is when I played her, it's in my wig box.
05:07Right.
05:07Don't penalise me for that.
05:08I'm going to walk into her house and chop it off when she's asleep.
05:13Exciting at the bottom, isn't it?
05:16Alan.
05:17Well, it's a model of me.
05:19It was made for a television programme about 20 years ago.
05:23Oh.
05:23In which my character's wife uses a model of me as a voodoo doll
05:28that sticks pins in and the props department allowed me to keep it.
05:32and it has concealed about its person quite a floppy surprise.
05:37Here is the floppy Alan Davis.
05:39Yep.
05:40And...surprise!
05:41Yeah.
05:42Yeah.
05:43Wow.
05:45The body and the legs and the head are all obviously reduced,
05:49but the penis is actual size.
05:53But what's fascinating about this is that the penis does not feature
05:57in the programme at all, so it's needless edition just for a jape.
06:00I can't stop looking at it.
06:03I mean, you're right, I actually can't take my eyes off it.
06:07Yeah.
06:08Sort of making my mouth wash.
06:13Oh, Alex.
06:15You're a naughty otter.
06:16That is out of character.
06:19That's what I thought, but there it is.
06:21It's in danger of scoring higher than life-saving machinery.
06:27That's right.
06:28Good luck.
06:28Yeah, I know.
06:30Now, look, that was the first thing that came to mind
06:32when I thought about a magnificent floppy thing,
06:34but I thought that I'd try to push myself a little further,
06:37and the only thing that kept coming to mind was an air dancer.
06:42So, I brought an air dancer.
06:45Oh, my God!
06:48Right.
06:49My cock can do that, by the way.
06:53Does it have arms?
06:57Oh, man.
06:58I don't know how this reflects on me, the way I'm scoring this.
07:03I don't think it reflects on me well.
07:05Here we go.
07:06What do you want me to do, Victoria?
07:08It's my least favourite.
07:09Give her one point.
07:10My second least favourite is a pretend Claudia Winkerman's fringe.
07:14OK, so now it's three, four and five.
07:16Now, I've got to decide between Alan Davis's penis...
07:19Yes.
07:20..and a life-saving piece of equipment.
07:23Life-creating piece of equipment.
07:25I guess I want it put on record that I equate living
07:29with Alan Davis's penis.
07:31Four points for both men.
07:33The most visually exciting is Desiree.
07:35I'm going to give Desiree five points.
07:37Yeah, yeah!
07:40And firstly, for task Alex.
07:42Well, let me quench that thirst with a lovely little drinking task.
07:56Mmm!
07:58Lab, baby!
07:59Hi, Alex!
08:00Good morning, Guz.
08:01How are you?
08:02Tip-top.
08:03Shall I just help myself?
08:06OK.
08:07Drink all this...
08:10You guys are so stupid!
08:12OK, drink all this drink with your mouth open.
08:16Your mouth must be visibly open throughout.
08:19What is it?
08:21No idea.
08:25The fastest wins.
08:26Your time starts and your mouth must open when Alex blows the whistle.
08:33There we are.
08:34Yet again, Desiree baffled that we've asked her to do something silly.
08:39I think that every time you opened a task,
08:42you were hoping that it would be calculate your taxes
08:44and pay by January 31st.
08:48OK, we begin with Morgallon Rabies.
08:52Morg... Morgana and Alan Davies.
08:56LAUGHTER
08:58BUZZER
09:01BUZZER
09:02BUZZER
09:03I can't sit here yet.
09:06BUZZER
09:07It's not going down, Alan.
09:10BUZZER
09:10Open, please, open.
09:12Open, please, Owen.
09:14É não fair se você dizer funny coisas.
09:27Está fechado agora, Owen.
09:30Se eu use a straw...
09:31Always open, please, Owen.
09:33Se eu use a straw...
09:34Uh-huh.
09:35...diz that count?
09:36Porque meu mouth não vai ser completamente closed, vai?
09:42Se eu use a miste.
09:48Hum, é que é a coisa?
09:49Hum.
09:50É uma coisa que é uma chata, Owen.
09:51É um...
09:52Oof!
09:58Estou a paixão.
10:02Estou a paixão.
10:04Estou a paixão.
10:05A strange coisa para a drink.
10:06Eu vou deixar a choc less.
10:08Outro notamment.
10:09É Estou a paixão.
10:10Hum, é que é um...
10:11É um...
10:13São os lotos!
10:15E علىức!
10:18Elham, é?
10:19noticinglys.
10:19Hinte e expressuna.
10:20Você tem uma grande epilagottisquCK.
10:21Você parecem um kadre com fos.
10:24.. Capitalista h television.
10:26Você pensou em falarem muito.
10:28É claro que não é..
10:29Você pode mesmo fazer estoque muito semelhanças,
10:30P найm vocês...iał
10:39...who looked throughout to me like a 12-year-old boy.
10:42Especially when he worked out his straw technique,
10:44which I will allow, by the way, his mouth's clearly open.
10:46Well, the liquid can't go through if it's closed, that's what I thought.
10:50I think it's perfectly reasonable the mouth isn't shut
10:52if the mouth has something in it.
10:54Play on! Sure.
10:55A drop more now in the form of Guz and Victoria.
11:00Are you ready? I mean...
11:02Yeah, go on, go on.
11:03WHISTLE BLOWS
11:07It can't do it!
11:12You can't be done! I mean, can I have a use of straw?
11:17That is cold!
11:18Who? That is cold!
11:20It's gone. It's cold, huh?
11:22It's cold. It's gone. You want a cold?
11:25Cold.
11:26HE SIGHS
11:33I tried to...
11:36No.
11:54HE SIGHS
12:00HE SIGHS
12:06HE SIGHS
12:07HE SIGHS
12:08HE SIGHS
12:10HE SIGHS
12:10You're finished, Guz. Thank you, Guz.
12:12What were you trying to say?
12:12It's really cold. Cold?
12:14Yeah, it made my heart to the murmur.
12:16I don't know if the funnel helps, really.
12:21No, it's too disgusting. It's too disgusting!
12:24Are you saying you just had a heart attack?
12:26Not a major one, cos, you know what I mean?
12:29My eyes didn't go blurry, but I felt like a...
12:31HE SIGHS
12:34HE SIGHS
12:35HE SIGHS
12:36HE SIGHS
12:36I'm drinking it.
12:45HE SIGHS
12:46HE SIGHS
12:48HE SIGHS
12:49HE SIGHS
12:53Is it fair to say that that task marks the end of your career as a ventriloquist?
12:59HE SIGHS
13:00What was the tube technique all about?
13:02You were hoping to funnel it directly into your stomach, bypassing the mouth.
13:05HE SIGHS
13:06I thought it would force me to keep my mouth open, cos you...
13:08You didn't voluntarily close it.
13:10HE SIGHS
13:11I should point out, Greg, that due to an admin error,
13:13all the drinks were at room temperature except for one person
13:16whose was very nearly freezing cold.
13:19HE SIGHS
13:19And it was an admin error as opposed to a mischievous little game.
13:24HE SIGHS
13:24Cos it was so cold, I was struggling to breathe a little bit
13:27and while I was struggling to breathe thinking I need an ambulance here,
13:29he was like, keep your mouth open, guys.
13:31HE SIGHS
13:32HE SIGHS
13:33HE SIGHS
13:34HE SIGHS
13:34HE SIGHS
13:35HE SIGHS
13:35HE SIGHS
13:36HE SIGHS
13:37HE SIGHS
13:39It's just in the rules.
13:41It was very entertaining.
13:42Now, finally, with one for the road, it's Desiree.
13:47Good luck.
13:49HE SIGHS
13:53HE SIGHS
13:54HE SIGHS
13:54WHOOSH
13:54WHOOSH
13:55WHOOSH
13:56WHOOSH
13:57WHOOSH
13:58WHOOSH
13:59WHOOSH
14:00I thought the pot.
14:02HE SIGHS
14:04HE LAUGHS
14:05HE LAUGHS
14:06HE LAUGHS
14:07HE LAUGHS
14:07HE LAUGHS
14:09Yes!
14:10Incredible.
14:11Wow.
14:13Ah!
14:14Eu não sei o que é o que é que é que é que eu não conheço.
14:19E aí...
14:20Eu me lembro de lá.
14:22Eu basicamente saíram de um pouco, saíram de um pouco, e disse,
14:25que era o que era.
14:26Eu era tão gostoso.
14:29Eu não me lembro de dizer que é um pouco mais um...
14:33E aí, ela deve ter feito coisas.
14:35Sim, ela era a 4ª...
14:37Não, ela era a 4ª.
14:39E aí, ela era a 5ª.
14:407ª.
14:41Então, undoubtedly, 5ª.
14:43Beneath that, despite the cold, Guz did it in 1µ5,
14:46Alan, 2ª, 8ª,
14:47Morgana, exactly 3ª,
14:48and Victoria, 8ª.
14:52E aí...
14:538ª.
14:53Eu não sei.
14:54Eu era assim.
14:55Eu era assim.
14:56Eu era assim.
14:57Eu era assim.
14:58E aí...
15:00E aí...
15:00E aí...
15:01E aí...
15:02E aí...
15:06E aí...
15:08E aí...
15:08E aí...
15:08E aí...
15:10E aí...
15:11Sim, claro. A série de scores são incrível.
15:15Victoria, você é um 1-1-0,
15:17mas o outro quatro são apenas cinco pontos separados.
15:20Alan é um 1-4-9, Desiree é um 1-50, Guz é um 1-5-3,
15:23Morgana é um ponto ahead e um 1-5-4.
15:26Oh!
15:27Oh, meu Deus!
15:28E neste episódio, Desiree tem mais de máximo points,
15:31então ela está em leado com 10.
15:36Next!
15:38It's the last team cast, Greg,
15:39and it's all very confusing.
15:54Hello.
15:55Oh, hi, Alan.
15:57In here.
15:59There's a thing.
16:02Using your whole body to make individual characters.
16:05Describe the taskmaster.
16:09Your description must be a minimum of 20 characters long.
16:13Most vivid description wins.
16:16You have ten minutes.
16:18Your time starts when the whistle blows.
16:20Do you mean characters in, like, A, B, C or D?
16:23OK.
16:23Spell it out.
16:24Yes, but it also opens up the world of punctuation and emojis.
16:29Punctuation and emojis.
16:30Before I blow the whistle, Alan,
16:31do you mind putting the ear defenders on?
16:38Very tight.
16:40Hello, Desiree.
16:41Hello there, Alex.
16:42Please go in there.
16:44Oh, hello, Alan.
16:46Work out what your teammate's task is.
16:51You must stay in the caravan and not communicate with your teammates in any way.
16:56After ten minutes, you must write down what you think their tasks were.
17:00Best guesser wins.
17:03Your time starts when the whistle blows.
17:05In the meantime, would you mind popping on those ear defenders?
17:08Absolutely.
17:08Thank you.
17:10Hello, guys.
17:11All right, mate, how are you?
17:12I'm good.
17:12Can you go up there, please?
17:16Lick a chocolate button, stick it on your forehead, then transfer the chocolate button to your mouth without touching it
17:23with your hands or leaving the chair.
17:25It says your time starts when the whistle is blowing.
17:28OK.
17:28Good luck, everyone.
17:29Good luck, everyone.
17:34A few different things going on, Greg.
17:36So Guz had a different task from everybody else.
17:38Yes, in a way, we didn't need Guz.
17:42Did you have a nice time? Did you enjoy your task?
17:44I did, actually.
17:45Yeah?
17:45Yeah. We'll find out.
17:47OK, sorry.
17:48I'll speed up.
17:51Right, then, we're going to see the team of three first.
17:53That's right, it's the loud people.
18:04OK.
18:17Two.
18:22Three.
18:32Three.
18:38Ah!
18:39Three.
18:40Four.
18:42Four.
18:46Four.
18:48Four.
18:48Four.
18:54Four.
18:57Four.
19:04O que você acha que o Guz foi?
19:08Ok, ele foi fácil. Ele tinha que brilhar os chocolate dots que estavam no seu forehead
19:12em sua boca e depois de comer.
19:14E o que você acha que o Guz foi?
19:16Ela estava obviamente a palavra de uma frase, como um tipo de frase,
19:20como um H e um T e um X, talvez algo sobre a galáxia.
19:25O que é?
19:26A galáxia de far, far away, todos têm tínios.
19:30Ok.
19:36O Guz, você teve um tempo todo com a tínios.
19:39A bit de indigestion.
19:41A lot. Eu acho que ele tinha 36 buttons em um dia.
19:43Você estava só te dar uma de uma de uma de uma de uma de uma de uma de uma
19:45de uma de uma de uma de uma de uma de uma de uma de uma de uma de uma
19:46de uma.
19:46Mas você pode ir para 36.
19:48Não tem mais.
19:49Mas não tem mais.
19:49Mas não tem mais.
19:52Eu acho que você tinha que ser o que ela era lindos.
19:54E eu era...
19:57Você colocou.
19:57Chegou o meu filho de um homem escuro.
19:59Em que eu tinha peixão.
20:00Ele gostou que o meu filho de um homem defrauz.
20:03O que ele gosta de um homem senão?
20:03Ele gostou.
20:03Entree.
20:04Ime, você sabia o que o empregou o que era a de um homem de uma das de uma das
20:07de um desenhos.
20:07Eu acho que eles estavamando com a ideia.
20:09A questão de um desenhos, perguntei com uma das letras e foi boa.
20:10E por exemplo, essa era uma das palavras.
20:12Olha aça.
20:13Olha a da.
20:13Oh, ó.
20:14O que ela fez foi ser tão grumpy, você ficou grumpy, e flirty, e um pouco sexy.
20:19E um pouco sexy, apenas um pouco sexy.
20:22Eu estava ficando muito flutuante e esperava que me um pouco mais mais.
20:26Tick. Você seria um pouco mais mais se não fosse por Desiree fucking it up.
20:34Agora é a Victoria's turn para ver o Alan's task é.
20:37Vamos ver eles.
20:49O que é isso? O que é isso? O que é isso?
20:53Oh, got it, got it.
20:55Isso é muito bom.
20:59Isso é parte dele?
21:02Isso eu não sei.
21:05Em minha cabeça, é um cristal.
21:10Oh, meu Deus!
21:21O que é isso?
21:23Eu não posso fazer isso.
21:24Isso é tão difícil.
21:27Isso parece como Bruce Warso.
21:32Alan, você pode voltar para a casa.
21:33Obrigado.
21:34Eu gostei.
21:35Eu acho que Alan, o que você acha que Alan foi?
21:37Eu acho que Alan foi tentar de embodir
21:42a letras
21:43que spell a well-known frase
21:46Caring Uncle Minpict.
21:48Caring Uncle...
21:50Caring Uncle Minpict.
21:52.
21:52.
21:52.
21:56.
21:57.
21:57.
21:57.
21:57.
21:58.
21:58.
21:59Got it! Got it!
22:01But that was getting that he was being a letter.
22:04Ah. It wasn't when you realised that he was using the classic,
22:07well-known phrase, caring Uncle Minpit.
22:12That was effectively me saying he's describing the taskmaster,
22:15because I think of Greg as caring Uncle Minpit.
22:17A lot of people do.
22:18Yes.
22:19Shall I show you what Alan did,
22:20and you can see if you can work out what he was trying to say?
22:22It's actually five words.
22:24Grand? No.
22:25It is grand.
22:26Grand?
22:26Father?
22:28F?
22:28Grandfather?
22:29It's not grandfather.
22:31Fler, flo, flock.
22:33Yes.
22:34Flock is right.
22:35Florid.
22:35Florid.
22:36Oh, I like florid.
22:38Grand, florid.
22:39Grand, florid.
22:39Pig.
22:40Not pig.
22:41Not pig or grandfather.
22:44Grand, florid, something tall man.
22:45What is this third word, though?
22:47Pig is close.
22:48Big?
22:48Big, yes.
22:49Grand, florid, big, tall man.
22:51Correct!
22:51Grand, florid, big, tall, caring, Uncle Minpit.
22:58I sort of feel like there should be maybe one point separating the teams.
23:03OK, but which one gets that point?
23:05Well, obviously, Alan and caring Uncle Minpit were better.
23:09Right.
23:09So let's give them both five points.
23:12OK.
23:12And give the other team four points each.
23:15Victoria and Alan get five points!
23:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
23:19I propose one final task!
23:23And that is a great proposal.
23:26MUSIC
23:40Hello.
23:41Can I pull this off?
23:43I don't know.
23:43No, never mind.
23:44Let's leave it on.
23:45I'll be breaking shit in your house all the time.
23:47It came off anyway.
23:48LAUGHTER
23:50It's like a hooper.
23:51Pardon?
23:51Do you know what that is, do you?
23:53I think it's something to do with the Jewish faith.
23:55Yes, it's a place you might have a wedding.
23:58Interesting.
23:58Yeah.
23:59I'm assuming that's not the task.
24:03Yes.
24:04Oh!
24:05It is a hooper!
24:08Propose to Alex in the most irresistible way.
24:12You have 30 minutes.
24:14Your time starts now.
24:16Have you proposed to anyone before, Alan?
24:18Only my wife.
24:20LAUGHTER
24:20So, you know, I'm one for one, as they say.
24:23LAUGHTER
24:23Have you proposed to anyone before, Victoria?
24:25Of course I haven't.
24:25What are you suggesting?
24:27I think when I proposed to her,
24:29it was the only time ever in my life that I've had snuff.
24:32And if I hadn't had the snuff, I might not have done it.
24:35I don't know, what do you like?
24:37This would have required years of getting to know you.
24:39Um...
24:40I've got a Wikipedia entry.
24:41It's likely that you're going to be inhaling something.
24:44LAUGHTER
24:46Lovely.
24:47What I take from that is that Victoria is very serious
24:50about the sanctity of a marriage proposal
24:52and that when Alan proposed to his wife,
24:55he was off his face on snuff.
24:57LAUGHTER
24:58Let's see how we get on.
24:59OK, well, here is Desiree asking me, Alex Horne,
25:01for my hand in marriage.
25:07Alex, my darling, come to me.
25:09This is wonderful.
25:11Isn't it just?
25:12I know we've only known each other for a brief time,
25:15but I've developed some strong feelings
25:17I felt like I needed to share with you.
25:19This is a song I've created, original composition.
25:23Furry little Alex Horne, I've fancied you since you were born.
25:30If you got mad and killed a guy, I would be your alibi.
25:37Won't you marry me, Alex?
25:39Cause I don't...
25:41Wait, cause I don't have a gag reflex.
25:44So, Alex Horne, will you make me the happiest weirdo?
25:50Will you give me the great honour
25:52of spending the rest of our lives together?
25:54Will you marry me?
25:58Desiree?
25:59Alex.
26:00I'm going to go and think about it.
26:01Thank you.
26:02Of course.
26:02Can I keep this till I've made my decision?
26:04Absolutely.
26:04You suck on that and think about things.
26:08LAUGHTER
26:13I could watch that again.
26:15I mean, there's a couple of things I should probably just speed by.
26:19LAUGHTER
26:19The fact that you've fancied Alex since he was born.
26:23Absolutely.
26:24Yeah, we should probably leave that.
26:26I enjoyed the remote-controlled car.
26:28Yes, me too.
26:28And I enjoyed the aggression of your final statement.
26:32Think about it and suck on that.
26:35LAUGHTER
26:36It's a strong and unsettling start.
26:39OK.
26:40Well, next I'm going to be proposed to by...
26:42Guz Khan.
26:42Oh, wow.
26:44LAUGHTER
26:44So, what I'd like to say to you, my brother, is...
26:46I've been on this show with you.
26:47I don't think people look out for your welfare.
26:50They don't look out for how you're feeling.
26:51It's a long-ass day.
26:53It is a long-ass day.
26:55I've prepared something for you.
26:56Get in bed, go on.
26:57In bed?
26:58Yeah, get in bed, go on.
27:00You did that for me?
27:01Yeah, lean back!
27:03Take your feet off, look.
27:05How's that feel, man?
27:07Comfy ain't it?
27:08It's lovely.
27:08Yeah, look, there's a skull there with a rose in it.
27:11Look, Alex, this task was to propose to you
27:13in the most irresistible way.
27:15And there's two versions of irresistible.
27:17One of those is red roses and fairy lights.
27:20But there's another version, the victory version,
27:23which is irresistible, meaning something so convincing
27:27that somebody can't say no.
27:34Didn't know it.
27:40Strong smell of...
27:41What is that?
27:43The martial arts being supposed to represent
27:44Bloody Night for The Godfather.
27:45Oh, I see, yeah.
27:46Someone told me you liked the movie.
27:47Well, I like Jaws.
27:50I like Jaws.
27:51He likes Jaws!
27:53I'm going to think about it.
27:54What?
27:55My sister!
27:58Wow.
28:00Wow.
28:02Can I say, Greg, I genuinely didn't know
28:05there was anything under the blanket.
28:06About the horse's head?
28:07I genuinely didn't know.
28:08That was all...
28:09because I don't know what's going to happen.
28:10I just love what anyone who hasn't watched
28:12the Godfather trilogy,
28:13what they'll be thinking...
28:16..of that intimate and horrific proposal.
28:21Want to see another?
28:22Yeah.
28:23It's Alan now,
28:24with a very Alan marriage proposal.
28:31Hi, Alex.
28:32Alan.
28:34Would you mind inhaling some of the...
28:40persuasive elixir?
28:42No?
28:44That's it.
28:45And just breathe in?
28:46Yeah, breathe in.
28:49Keep breathing in.
28:51It's definitely going to help.
28:53Now you can uncover.
28:59Oh!
29:02This is a dowry, of course.
29:05Was that there before?
29:07It's trained.
29:08If you're amenable...
29:10Well, there's more, is there?
29:11I have a prenuptial agreement.
29:13Do you now?
29:14Thank you.
29:15Do you accept the proposal, or...?
29:17I'll sign them up.
29:18OK.
29:21And...
29:21I will think about it.
29:23OK.
29:23That's all I can ask, I suppose, at this stage.
29:26Thank you.
29:28Jesus Christ.
29:32What was Alex in handling to soften him up for marriage?
29:35Vix...
29:36Vapour rub.
29:36That helps clear your heads while Alan got into character.
29:41And then we all know if there's one thing that will guarantee a yes to a marriage proposal, it's a
29:46surprise cow.
29:49Next up, I'm going to be proposed to by Victoria Corrin Mitchell.
29:54I'm too committedly married already, and I never proposed to my own husband, so to propose to someone else's husband,
29:59it would be all wrong.
30:00However, here's my proposal.
30:03The opportunity is there to have a wedding that, to you, doesn't count as a wedding.
30:08Sorry, are you proposing to me right now?
30:10We've got a whole house at our disposal, a caravan, wedding and honeymoon right here.
30:16It feels like you're proposing right now.
30:19If I were, what would you say?
30:22Would you mind taking one more surname?
30:23I think you'd have to take my surname, but only the Corrin.
30:26I think to take my husband's surname would be disrespectful, to be honest.
30:28I'm becoming Alex Corrin.
30:30I think so.
30:31I can't believe you need to think about it.
30:33I've proposed to someone for the first time in my life, you're not even accepting immediately.
30:36Can I have half an hour?
30:38All right. Okay.
30:39Thanks, Victoria.
30:40Thank you.
30:40Corrin.
30:42Mitchell.
30:44Morn.
30:49Well, I have to say, good instinct tells me, Victoria doesn't want you to marry her.
30:56It was the only instant proposal.
30:58I genuinely worried about it though.
31:00Yes.
31:00I know it's ridiculous.
31:01I'm so happily married.
31:03I'm so besotted with my husband.
31:05I genuinely worried about proposing to another man, even as a joke.
31:10I thought maybe that's not nice.
31:12It's ridiculous.
31:13It's pretty damn sweet if you ask me.
31:15Yeah.
31:15And it just shows the lack of regard that the other people here have for their partners.
31:20Don't say that.
31:22And I love you.
31:24Relax, bro.
31:25It's a game show.
31:27Very sweet, Victoria.
31:28You get sweet points.
31:29And what do they translate to on this show?
31:32Not many points.
31:34Let's play on.
31:35Last of all, really last of all, it's Morgana Robinson.
31:39Yeah.
31:40Come on.
31:40Yes.
31:46Put the sailor outfit on and follow the music.
32:18Shut up.
32:20Lobsters are red.
32:22Oh.
32:23I said, lobsters are red, oceans are blue.
32:28I won't give you crabs if you let me marry you.
32:33La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
32:38What sort of crabs?
32:39Itchy ones.
32:40La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
32:43Morgana.
32:44Yeah.
32:44I really appreciate everything you've done and I will think about it.
32:49Obrigada
32:50Tchau
32:50La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
33:02O que é...
33:07O que é uma espetacular proposta.
33:11Of course, the correct answer to a proposal like that from an obviously psychotic member is no.
33:23Also, never trust someone who tells you straight away that they haven't got grout.
33:31La, la, la.
33:34That's going to be stuck in my head for the rest of my life.
33:37Well, all right, I could barely separate some of these.
33:42Victoria's was a pretty damn weak proposal, but it was a fairly sweet response.
33:48I'm going to give Victoria an unbelievable three points.
33:52Fair enough. Three points to Victoria.
33:54That's very nice of you.
33:56I could not separate a menthol-snorting proposal and an announcement of a weak gag reflex.
34:06I'm giving both of those four points.
34:08OK, four to Alan.
34:09Four to David.
34:09Probably.
34:11And when you've got productions on this scale, then both people, for very different reasons,
34:18have got to take a sweet five with them.
34:20Five points to Garza and Morgana!
34:24Shall we pick up the scores one more time?
34:26Yes, we shall.
34:27The series is still in the balance as we go into the final task.
34:31And so is this episode.
34:32Garza's on 17 in second and Desiree has 18 points in first.
34:36Oh, snap!
34:37Oh!
34:39All right, everyone, please make your way to the stage for the final task of the series!
34:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
34:52Oh!
34:55Oh.
34:56It's the final.
34:57Show some decorum.
34:59Go on.
35:00Morgana Robinson's going to read the task.
35:02Read on.
35:07One at a time, make a noise without the taskmaster identifying you.
35:12The person who makes the most unidentified noises wins.
35:16What's going to happen is the taskmaster will not be looking at you.
35:19I will give you a type of noise you have to make.
35:21You have to make the noise for at least two seconds.
35:23Greg will guess who he thinks was making the noise.
35:26There are three rounds.
35:27The person who has identified the least wins.
35:30OK.
35:31Revolve me!
35:39Bit too far, Greg.
35:45Again, too far again.
35:46Oh, Magellan Parkin.
35:50OK, so the first noise you're going to make is birdsong.
35:53And the first person to the front is this person.
35:56So they're now going to make their way to the front.
36:00We need two seconds of noise,
36:02and Greg will guess who made the noise.
36:05Here comes the noise.
36:13Greg, who was making that beautiful noise?
36:16Morgana.
36:20The next person to come to the front is this person.
36:25They're making their way to the front now.
36:28They're making their way to the front now.
36:29Here comes the noise.
36:32Ooh!
36:33Ooh!
36:39I think it was Alan.
36:41They are now returning to their spot.
36:44OK, the next person to make a noise is this person.
36:50Here comes the noise.
36:52Ooh!
36:56I think it was Alan again.
36:59Oh, God, was it?
37:01No, I think I made a mistake first time.
37:03I'm going to say Alan for that second one.
37:05OK.
37:06Next person to the front is this person, please.
37:08Here comes the noise.
37:10EEEE!
37:12EEEE!
37:13EEEE!
37:13Victoria.
37:16And there is, of course, just one person left.
37:20Here comes the noise.
37:23EEEE!
37:25EEEE!
37:25EEEE!
37:28EEEE!
37:29Desiree.
37:31That's into round one, Greg.
37:32I can tell you that you got one Alan correct and one Desiree correct.
37:36It's time for round two, and round two is, of course, two seconds of beatboxing.
37:42What is beatboxing?
37:43You don't want to give away your hand too much.
37:45I think what you're probably hoping is that you don't go first.
37:48What I'm hoping is that you do.
37:51OK.
37:52The first person to beatbox is...
37:56They're making their way to the front.
37:58Here comes the noise.
38:01EEEE!
38:02EEEE!
38:03EEEE!
38:03EEEE!
38:06EEEE!
38:07It's either someone who doesn't know what beatboxing is, Victoria...
38:11Right.
38:11..or it's someone pretending they don't know what it is.
38:16With that level of cunning, I'm going to attribute to Morgana.
38:20The next person to demonstrate their beatboxing skills...
38:23Yeah.
38:25Here comes the noise.
38:31EEEE!
38:36EEEE!
38:37EEEE!
38:39EEEE!
38:40EEEE!
38:40EEEE!
38:41There are three left to beatbox.
38:42The next person is this person.
38:46Here comes the noise.
38:49EEEE!
38:50EEEE!
38:52EEEE!
38:52EEEE!
38:54EEEE!
38:56EEEE!
38:57EEEE!
38:59EEEE!
39:00EEEE!
39:02EEEE!
39:03EEEE!
39:04EEEE!
39:05EEEE!
39:05EEEE!
39:05EEEE!
39:06EEEE!
39:07EEEE!
39:08EEEE!
39:09EEEE!
39:10EEEE!
39:11EEEE!
39:12EEEE!
39:14There is one left, I think we on the stage know who it is.
39:21Making their way to the front.
39:31And there was the noise.
39:32Victoria.
39:36And I can tell you, Greg, you've got Alan right.
39:39Just Alan.
39:40And Desiree and Guz and Morgana and Victoria.
39:42I got everyone right.
39:46OK, so the very last round in the series.
39:52The category is Big Scary Monster.
39:57The first person to make the noise of a big scary monster...
40:02..is that person.
40:03Here comes the noise.
40:14Oh.
40:16Oh, indeed.
40:18Victoria.
40:21I just think Victoria thought,
40:23he won't be expecting this of me.
40:25Big clumpy steps.
40:26Wrong.
40:29The next person is this person.
40:32Here comes the noise.
40:38No disrespect.
40:40Desiree.
40:43Oh, no.
40:44I don't think it was.
40:46I think it was actually Morgana.
40:48But my first answer was my first answer.
40:51Next up, this person.
40:54Here comes the noise.
41:06Alan Davis.
41:09Just two left, Greg.
41:11The penultimate person is this person.
41:14They're at the front.
41:15And here comes the noise.
41:17Whoa!
41:19LAUGHTER
41:22APPLAUSE
41:29I don't know...
41:32I don't know who the wow monster is.
41:36I think that might have been Desiree.
41:40OK, you've guessed Desiree for a second time.
41:42One left, of course.
41:44Yeah.
41:45Here comes the final noise.
41:50Oh!
41:52LAUGHTER
41:58I think that was Morgana.
42:02You may return to your spot.
42:03And before we go any further, I want to say,
42:05the only one I care about getting right was Victoria.
42:07Well, Greg, the only one you got right...
42:09Oh, what?!
42:10..was Victoria.
42:13You may now turn and face your contestants again.
42:16Oh, my God.
42:17I think I just thought everyone was Desiree.
42:21Well, I know what you think of me now.
42:23LAUGHTER
42:23Come down here,
42:25and we're at it to the final scores of the final show!
42:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:33And so, wonderful game of noises and listening we had.
42:37You got all the beatboxes.
42:38I really did.
42:39But only one of the big, scary monsters.
42:41Oh, clumpy shoes.
42:44LAUGHTER
42:44And so much to you.
42:46And miles behind, you couldn't just go,
42:48oh, that sounds like Guz.
42:50LAUGHTER
42:52I would have choked you.
42:54Victoria, Desiree and Alan, you got right twice.
42:58Guz and Morgana, just the once.
43:00So it's three points to the people in joint third,
43:02five points to Guz and Morgana!
43:04There it is.
43:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:08Which means in the episode, the winner by one point
43:12from Desiree is Guz Khan!
43:14Guz Khan!
43:16Guz Khan!
43:17Guz Khan wins!
43:18Please go and flop about with your magnificent floppy things!
43:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:25Oh, ho, ho, ho!
43:27Ha, ha!
43:28Oh, yeah.
43:30APPLAUSE
43:33LAUGHTER
43:39This is the end, my friends,
43:41and genuinely, I'm quite sad.
43:44I'm sad because I really feel like the cast
43:46were finally getting into their stride.
43:48But it's been a pleasure scoring their efforts
43:50and from my powerful decisions, I've created a new champion.
43:54So now, all that's left to do
43:56is to hand over to little Alex Horne
43:58to close the lid on the series
44:00and reveal the final scores.
44:02Alex, do your thing!
44:03OK, well, I thought they were all terrific.
44:06Some of them much more terrific than the others at getting points.
44:09In fifth place, with 121 of them,
44:11it's Victoria Corrin-Mitchell!
44:13Oh!
44:15Just 40 points above her in fourth,
44:17with 161 points, it's Desiree Burch!
44:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:22On the same number of points, Alan Davy!
44:24Oh, wow!
44:25Yes, that was 161 points.
44:27In second place, six points above them,
44:31with 167 points, it's Guz Khan!
44:35CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:38Which means, with 168 points,
44:41our new Taskmaster champion is Morgana Robinson!
44:45APPLAUSE
44:48AND APPLAUSE
44:51AND APPLAUSE
44:59Aplausos
45:26Aplausos
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