- 2 days ago
Lucky Luke S01E04 (2026)
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TVTranscript
00:01The first time we met, she said that reading was going to save me.
00:06So, I grabbed the book and started looking for the nail file stashed inside.
00:11That made her laugh.
00:15Anyway, she was wrong.
00:17It wasn't reading that saved me.
00:19It was her.
00:24And we kissed on the mouth.
00:26Joe.
00:27And used our tongues.
00:28Enough.
00:28We get the picture.
00:32You didn't bet on the right horse.
00:35Luke just isn't cut out for adventure.
00:38I don't know why, but he's always been a nervous Nelly.
00:41Trust me, I'm going to find your mom.
00:44When I saw her in that stagecoach, I remembered everything.
00:47And now, suddenly, you're here.
00:49My kid.
00:50I can't be your kid.
00:51I can't be the kid of a...
00:52Dalton.
00:53Ha.
00:54Louise Dalton.
00:56That's pretty.
00:57Plus, we look alike, like two peas in a pod.
00:59Not even close.
01:00Well, you're wrong.
01:01First off, we're the same height.
01:02And then she rides off when I'm trying to talk to her.
01:04Great.
01:05No respect at all.
01:06Just like a Dalton.
01:08I like it.
01:10Don't you have anything you want to say?
01:13Being the quickest draw in the West isn't a problem for you, but when it comes to talking,
01:16you're quiet.
01:17That's why you get all weird when I talk about my mom.
01:20You used to know her.
01:21Joe's your sworn enemy since forever, so of course you knew.
01:24And you said nothing?
01:32She can really hold a grudge.
01:34But she's right.
01:35You don't say much.
01:36You say too much.
01:37Nothing proves that you're her father.
01:39Everything lines up date-wise.
01:40Want me to draw you a picture?
01:41Well, same for me.
01:44Never mind.
01:45Just forget it.
01:46I can't.
01:47You just said it.
01:48You really think you're her father?
01:53Hang on.
01:56When I met Charlie, she was heartbroken.
01:59She had been dumped by her real dirtbag.
02:02Damn it.
02:05You're the guy before me.
02:06Hey, I'm not the guy before you.
02:09You're the guy after me.
02:11You were a rough draft.
02:12And you were just a consolation prize.
02:23Hey, I don't know what kind of problem you two have, but we have things to do now.
02:26Like, find my mother.
02:33We're not very far from where your mother's hiding.
02:36And Papa, how does he know this?
02:37Well, it's because this medallion isn't just a medallion.
02:40It's also a smuggler's eye.
02:42And you use it to find a hideout.
02:46She was using it when I was buffaloed.
02:50Okay.
02:51Let's go, desperados.
02:52Desperados.
03:20Okay.
03:20What's this hideout?
03:22It's an abandoned mine where I used to hide cash and guns.
03:25I gave this eye to Charlie so we could meet up after I got out.
03:29Discreetly.
03:29If you know what I mean.
03:31Doesn't matter.
03:31If she's here, we'll find her right away.
03:33Because this area is completely deserted.
03:41My mother should have given you vocabulary lessons.
03:44Because you don't know what deserted means.
03:45If Charlie's still hiding here, her kidnappers must be close.
03:49We'll have to play it incognito.
03:50Hands in the air.
03:51I'm not sure that's going to help us be incognito.
03:53I said, hands in the air.
03:59That's good.
04:03Calamity.
04:04Jane.
04:06Calamity Jane.
04:07It's Calamity Jane.
04:08You're Calamity Jane.
04:09Is she up a lipstick or something?
04:11Worse.
04:11She's a fan.
04:13Excuse me, Mrs. Jane, but...
04:15No, no, no.
04:15Don't you dare come near me.
04:16And don't you call me Mrs.
04:19Mrs. was my mother.
04:21That's not even true.
04:22She was a hooker.
04:24I'm so thrilled to get to meet you in person.
04:27I read your memoir at least 350 times.
04:30It's a good thing you're here.
04:32Because my mother was kidnapped.
04:33No.
04:33Yes.
04:34Really?
04:34Yes, I swear.
04:35For real?
04:35Of course, for real.
04:36I don't give a rat's ass.
04:38I'm sorry, Louise.
04:40I should have told you that she was a...
04:42In a hurry.
04:43I'm in a hurry.
04:45Kid's telling the truth.
04:47Her mom was kidnapped.
04:47But what I said is also true.
04:49I don't give a rat's ass.
04:51I want the reward.
04:53The reward?
04:54The loot, the dough, the moolah.
04:55You're a hunter looking for a reward?
04:57Not a.
04:57The best manhunter there is.
04:59I took down all your wanted posters to be the only one on your trail.
05:02Too bad for the others.
05:17Have you been able to message Governor Z?
05:19Yes.
05:19I said we were currently actively following the girl's trail,
05:22but unfortunately we were mutually unsuccessful.
05:24Well, you outdid yourself with the adverbs, Sarge.
05:26It's more expensive, but it's more professional.
05:29Oh, it's going beep beep.
05:48So what does she say?
05:54She says to kill you, Lieutenant
05:58So I guess you got promoted?
06:00Yeah, now it's just the two of us
06:01Yeah, and that's something that's really going to motivate us
06:05She's diabolical, isn't she?
06:06Huh, yeah
06:08Yeah
06:12At first I was just following the girl
06:14What a trailblazer
06:15No less than 23 armed robberies just last week
06:18You robbed more than 20 people before finding me?
06:20I had a gun and no time to waste
06:22Now that's my girl
06:24This was the easiest track of my life
06:25This idiot would leave a note each time with her name and address
06:28No way, that's my girl
06:29It was for the greater good
06:31Convenient excuse
06:32And then after that
06:33Well, it's just like reading one of those photo books
06:36Boot theft, half theft
06:39School transport theft
06:40I didn't see the cart behind the mule
06:42Kidnapping
06:43Or the kids in the cart
06:45Horse theft
06:45That one's for Billy
06:47And it goes on and on like that until you guys team up
06:50And that's when
06:51I mean
06:53All hell breaks loose
06:54Jailbreak
06:55Bank robbery
06:56BFFs with the Daltons
06:57You've completely gone over to the dark side
06:59Yeah, okay
07:00I know what you're going to say
07:01But I did it for the greater good
07:02Oh
07:02Come on
07:03Jane
07:04You know me
07:05Well, you know me too
07:07The mula comes first
07:08I don't understand you, Calamity
07:10You're a legend of the Wild West
07:12There's a woman in distress
07:13Saving her as a noble cause
07:15Listen to your heart
07:24What if he could get you more money?
07:26Ah
07:27Now we're talking
07:35Okay
07:37Come with us while we look for her mother
07:39With Joe in the picture
07:40Things are bound to go sideways
07:41The reward money will go up
07:43Once we find Charlie
07:44And she's somewhere safe
07:45You turn us in
07:46You get a markup on top
07:47Deal?
07:50Get a markup on top?
07:52And you say I'm vulgar
07:54Okay
07:55But if you try to trick me
07:57I'll shoot you dead
08:23So much for going in
08:24Cognito
08:25We can just stay
08:26Cognito
08:27I got the fever
08:29It's called gold fever
08:30Gold?
08:31Did you find gold?
08:33Did you find gold?
08:35Did you?
08:37Look in here
08:38And tell me if you see any
08:41I gotta go dig
08:43I think I should go dig
08:45I gotta go dig
08:50Okay
08:50We go in the mine
08:51And we look for my mom
08:52You're not going anywhere
08:54I'm keeping her
08:55I'm keeping her as collateral
08:57Don't worry
08:58We'll be back soon
08:58Don't even try
09:00I'm not trying
09:01I'm just talking to you
09:02Really?
09:03Because now you have
09:03Something to say?
09:05Ooh
09:08Yeah, she's a sharpshooter too
09:21Ah, so you see
09:22If you squint really hard
09:24And look at the scales
09:25On the fish
09:25You can see the layout
09:27Of the mine
09:28That's crazy
09:29Can you pick your teeth
09:30With it?
09:31Ha
09:31Very funny
09:32Although you're right
09:33You can pick your teeth
09:34With it
09:34Because if you pull this
09:35Little knob
09:35No one goes in
09:42I'm warning you
09:42If you dare shoot me in the head
09:44You're a dead man
09:46Okay, I think we should all just
09:47Calm down here
09:49Right?
09:49We'd like to speak to the person in charge
09:52So who's the owner?
09:53I'm the owner
09:54I'm the owner
09:55I'm the owner
09:56I'm the owner
10:02I'm the owner
10:05Like a sneaker
10:07Lurker
10:07Lurker
10:09Or a lady lurker
10:11How do you know that?
10:12I just saw a shadow
10:14She dropped one of her boots
10:16It doesn't matter anyway
10:17No one's going through
10:19We're on patrol 24-7
10:22And we shoot to kill
10:26What size was the boot?
10:30So she's in there
10:31And we can't go in?
10:32Don't worry
10:33We'll charge in
10:34Gun's blazing
10:35End of story
10:36Yeah, except we're not doing that
10:38It's full of saltpeter in there
10:39Potassium nitrate
10:41Saltpeter?
10:42Yeah, potassium nitrate
10:44It'll explode if we start shooting
10:45Okay, so
10:46We're going to pop them
10:47Delicately
10:48Two slugs in each head
10:49No straight bullets
10:49No, we're not going to kill anybody here
10:51Who talked about killing?
10:52You did
10:52When?
10:53Just now
10:53I said no gun
10:54So it doesn't matter
10:56You shouldn't try to go in there
10:59That mine drives people crazy
11:28It's our friend from the mine
11:33That's Bao
11:34He's my husband
11:37He's gone crazy like all the others
11:41All this is my fault
11:45What do you mean?
11:46We dreamt of adventure
11:49And one day Bao was approached by a promoter who had an incredible opportunity
11:53This abandoned mine right here
11:54Which was full of gold
11:57I said it's our dream come true
11:59And we came here
12:00What suckers?
12:04Please continue
12:04After six months of digging for nothing
12:06Bao was at the end of his rope
12:09And he found his first golden nugget
12:12He was overjoyed
12:15So of course he went to the saloon
12:16I suppose a week later you had all the neighborhood prospectors on your property?
12:20It's the west
12:23But he stood strong and kept a tunnel for himself
12:25The sheriff?
12:27Did he do something?
12:28Yep
12:28He bought a pickaxe
12:30They've really all gone crazy
12:32Crazy but rich?
12:32Not even
12:33Since the rush a month ago only five nuggets were found
12:36And none by my husband
12:38Okay so we're dealing with a prize sucker
12:41What?
12:43Come on
12:45That's a lot of coffee
12:46Yeah
12:47That's what everybody lives on here
12:49To keep going
12:57Okay
12:57We need to find a way to get into that mine
13:00I never thought I'd enjoy watching you two struggle this much
13:10I'm not working with Lucky Luke
13:12You think it doesn't suck for me to have you here?
13:13Well it super sucks for me
13:15Yeah well it double super sucks for me
13:16Hey if there was a contest to determine for who it sucks the most
13:19I win first prize and you'd come in so far behind me
13:21You want to bet
13:22That's enough
13:23Stop you two
13:23You're gonna work together cause I said so
13:25Plus I'm holding all the guns
13:26Then of course I go
13:42Sp lists
13:43Spabled
13:47Spranean
13:49Spooked
13:49Gadk
13:51Sp್
13:51Sp zucch
13:52Sp nouve
13:53Sp Geez
13:54Spamba
14:19I'm finished, yeah.
14:21Because you have six bullets.
14:24And I've got seven guns.
14:31I'm going to find your mother, and then I'll steal a ring.
14:35All fours of Pastor and Marius, and we can be a family.
14:39You're so annoying.
14:40You're so annoying.
14:41Papa.
14:43Hmm?
14:53Canvas.
14:54Mm-hmm.
14:54To sneak into the mine.
14:55It's beige.
14:56It's dirty.
14:56We can just dress up as rocks.
14:58Wow.
14:58You're a real genius.
15:00And you wonder why I bust you every time.
15:03And every time, I always escape.
15:04You got a better idea?
15:06Yeah.
15:06Hmm?
15:06Negotiate.
15:07Maybe try to talk some sense into them.
15:09Explain how they could kill each other.
15:11Hmm.
15:11And that their lust for gold will leave nowhere.
15:13Yeah, and we can braid our hair while drinking coffee, too.
15:17The coffee.
15:20I don't know what idea you just had, but it's mine for the record.
15:24You're putting perfume in the coffee?
15:26It's chloroform.
15:27We'll serve them some coffee to knock them out.
15:31Not bad.
15:32Just empty the bottle.
15:33Well, I don't want to kill them.
15:34Wow, you really have changed, Luke.
15:36You're scared of putting too much chloroform, of shooting people, of talking to the police.
15:40I bet you're scared of finding Charlie.
15:43Because she's the only woman you've ever really loved.
15:45Would you just shut up?
15:46Oh, you should see your expression.
15:48That's gold right there.
15:49Gold?
15:50Gold?
15:51Where's the gold?
15:52Is it from gold?
15:55No.
15:58But we have coffee.
16:00Who wants coffee?
16:04His face lit up with a smile because Calamity had just saved his life by giving him hope once again.
16:10Why are you reading that?
16:11Chapter 26, when you helped that marshal recoup his weapons in Abilene.
16:15And you think that book's going to make me want to find your mother?
16:18I think you need a reminder, Calamity.
16:20You've lost faith in yourself.
16:22Tell me what happened.
16:24Did someone break your heart?
16:25Did a bloodthirsty gunslinger shoot your friend?
16:27What are you talking about?
16:28The only problem I have is that lousy book's not making money anymore.
16:33It's not lousy, it's your biography.
16:35No.
16:36It's an inventography.
16:38I didn't do any of that.
16:39You understand?
16:40It's all lies.
16:42What?
16:43I mean, except for the part where I learned to speak bison, and I've become queen of the herd.
16:47That's my favorite passage.
16:49Are you stupid or what?
16:50I just told you it was all made up.
16:52Everything.
16:53It's all a bunch of hogwash for silly girls who dream of a life of adventure.
16:57This is unbelievable.
17:00And to think I always dreamt of meeting you.
17:05Now I wish I'd never met you at all!
17:18Wait, why is it so quiet?
17:20I don't know why you're so quiet and I don't know why you're so quiet and I don't know why
17:20you're dead.
17:20I don't know why you're so quiet.
17:35Let's go.
17:36Wait, why are you?
17:37Charlie?
17:41Yeah, let's go.
17:45Charlie Charlie Charlie
17:52That's her name
18:27Oh, what is this?
18:36This looks like gold
18:55Thanks a lot Jane, you were a big help
18:58What? I came, I saw, I profited
19:02What's going on? Did someone find gold?
19:04Yes, but it wasn't me
19:11You'll be me next time, you'll see
19:15Bao, it's okay
19:17Bao
19:33Come on, there has to be another way to get into that mine
19:49Hey, what are you doing there?
19:54My mom was taken because of this conspiracy
19:56Mmm, and because of a cullidata mucca pucca
20:01Don't, it's important
20:03Yeah, but there's more important
20:05I'm gonna play poker in the saloon tent
20:06Come on, I'll teach you
20:07No, you don't need me there
20:09Sure I do, you're my hostage and my good luck charm
20:11Come on, let's go
20:20C-L-D-T-C-L-D-T-L-M-Q-P-C
20:27Hey, your mom left and she's living her best life, okay?
20:32And that bunch of letters, those have got to be initials
20:34Either names of saloons or guys
20:36That's bullshit
20:37Life's everyone for themselves, that's how it is
20:39It's like that because of people like you
20:40Don't you mean like us?
20:43You think I don't know what you did for the greater good?
20:45You married Billy and broke his little heart, all that for a horse?
20:49Even I wouldn't have stooped so low
20:53Call
20:58Yeah, I screwed up with Billy
21:00I used him and I hate myself for it
21:03But I'm young and mistakes are normal
21:05You, you're the one who's given up
21:07But thanks, because now I know who I never ever want to be like
21:10Dammit, don't you think I had dreams of my own?
21:13You think I didn't want to be someone better?
21:16Life beats you up, okay?
21:20So you toughen up
21:24And the tougher you get, the more you protect yourself
21:29Then one day you realize that you lost yourself along the way
21:34You look around and you're in a saloon tent
21:36Gambling your life away
21:39Always lying
21:42Always pretending to have a good hand
21:49You think it's too late for me, Luis?
22:01Damn sure took you long enough
22:03Bam!
22:04Royal straight flush
22:10Today's lesson is
22:13In the West
22:13In the West
22:14Tears are either
22:15Because you've got sand in your eyes
22:17Or because you're being played
22:21Hey, cheers
22:47Wait, on top of that you're a cheater at cards?
22:49Today's second lesson is
22:51In the West
22:51Wait, on top of that you're a cheater at cards?
22:52If someone wears sleeves, it's not because they're cold
22:55It's to hide the cards
23:01Well I can play this game too
23:05Spit that gold nugget out now
23:07Find my mom or I'll swallow it
23:11In your book
23:11It doesn't mention that I kill kids
23:15But it really should say so
23:17Cause I can
23:21That's enough, Jane
23:23You spit that out
23:27Now
23:33Only five nuggets were found
23:40It's all my fault
23:43Do you see that?
23:48It doesn't look like a nugget
23:50It looks like melted gold
23:52Yeah, and look what didn't melt
24:00Here, enjoy
24:04You go see Sarah
24:05I'll get Bao
24:09It's still gold
24:20Sarah
24:21They said something happened to you?
24:23Yeah, something happened alright
24:24She found a gold vein
24:27Around her neck?
24:31That necklace
24:31Was a gift from your husband
24:34A gift you sacrificed
24:37In this photo
24:38There are ten gold beads on your necklace
24:42And now only half of them are left
24:49I don't understand
24:52I melted them down
24:55Little by little
24:57To make them into nuggets
25:01I couldn't stand to see you spend your days digging for nothing
25:04You were so unhappy
25:11Even when it comes to finding fake nuggets
25:13I'm useless
25:17Of course you're not
25:18I don't care about the gold
25:20I only did this for you
25:24And I was staying for you
25:27Because you wanted adventure
25:30My adventure is being with you
25:39I was so scared
25:42I was so scared
25:43I was so scared to tell you
25:48At the end of the day
25:49The only real treasure in this mine is love
25:52Romance
25:56What? Love? Like romance?
25:58What the heck is love?
25:59That's the treasure?
26:00So the treasure's romance?
26:02What a load of bullshit
26:04Wait, she said there's no gold in there?
26:07Hey guys! There's no gold!
26:10There's no gold!
26:10What do you mean there's no gold?
26:12Everyone catch up here
26:32You ready?
26:35Let's go
26:36Let's find Shirley
26:38I don't think so
26:46I've had enough of your bullshit
26:49I'm turning you in
26:50You can't! We're so close to our goal
26:52The only thing I want to get close to is my bounty
26:54Are you kidding?
26:57Huh?
26:59Oh shit!
26:59Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
27:04Excuse me, sirs, I need your help, please
27:07I was taken hostage by Calamity Jane
27:08While trying to find my mother
27:10Her name is Charlie Willow
27:12She's a teacher and she's stuck in that mine
27:15It would be our pleasure to help you, miss
27:18Hmm?
27:21Truly
27:29What do you want with my mom anyway?
27:30Just shut up and walk
27:44What was that?
27:51Charlie?
27:59Luke?
28:06Mama!
28:09Luis!
28:09Mama!
28:12What are you doing here?
28:15Stay where you are!
28:16Or we'll shoot the kid!
28:20We've been looking for you for ten days
28:23Ever since this idiot and his brothers attacked the stagecoach
28:25Watch it!
28:27And now, Mrs. Willow
28:28We'll hand you over to you-know-who
28:45Saltpeter
28:45It'll explode if we start shooting
28:57Charlie, don't!
29:01Don't shoot! There's saltpeter everywhere!
29:04I know
29:13I love you
29:14No! No!
29:17No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!
29:38No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!
29:38No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!
29:38No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!
29:38No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!
29:38No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No
31:12Here.
31:14A souvenir.
31:20Moving on?
31:22Yeah.
31:23I think that about does it for me.
31:28The adventure is over.
31:53The adventure is over.
32:26The adventure is over.
32:30No.
32:31No.
32:42No.
32:45No.
32:48No.
32:50No.
32:51No.
32:52No.
32:55Luis!
33:00Luis!
33:01Luis!
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