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00:01The first time we met, she said that reading was going to save me.
00:06So, I grabbed the book and started looking for the nail file stashed inside.
00:11That made her laugh.
00:15Anyway, she was wrong. It wasn't reading that saved me.
00:19It was her.
00:24And we kissed on the mouth.
00:27And used our tongues.
00:28Enough. We get the picture.
00:32You didn't bet on the right horse.
00:35Luke just isn't cut out for adventure.
00:38I don't know why, but he's always been a nervous Nelly.
00:41Trust me, I'm gonna find your mom.
00:43When I saw her in that stagecoach, I remembered everything.
00:47And now, suddenly, you're here. My kid.
00:49I can't be your kid. I can't be the kid of a-
00:52Dalton?
00:52Ha! Louise Dalton. That's pretty.
00:57Plus, we look alike, like two peas in a pod.
00:59Not even close.
01:00Well, you're wrong. First off, we're the same height.
01:02And then she rides off when I'm trying to talk to her.
01:04Great! No respect at all.
01:06Just like a Dalton. I like it.
01:10Don't you have anything you want to say?
01:13Being the quickest draw in the West isn't a problem for you.
01:15But when it comes to talking, you're quiet.
01:17That's why you get all weird when I talk about my mom.
01:20You used to know her.
01:21Joe's your sworn enemy since forever, so of course you knew.
01:24And you said nothing?
01:32She can really hold a grudge.
01:34But she's right. You don't say much.
01:36You said too much.
01:37Nothing proves that you're her father.
01:38Everything lines up date-wise. Want me to draw you a picture?
01:41Well, same for me.
01:44Never mind. Just forget it.
01:46I can't. You just said it.
01:48You really think you're her father?
01:53Hang on.
01:56When I met Charlie, she was heartbroken.
01:59She had been dumped by her real dirtbag.
02:02Damn it!
02:04You're the guy before me!
02:06Hey, I'm not the guy before you.
02:09You're the guy after me.
02:10You were a rough draft.
02:12And you were just a consolation prize.
02:22Hey! I don't know what kind of problem you two have, but we have things to do now!
02:26Like, find my mother!
02:33We're not very far from where your mother's hiding.
02:36And Papa, how does he know this?
02:37Well, it's because this medallion isn't just a medallion.
02:40It's also a smuggler's eye.
02:41And you use it to find a hideout.
02:46She was using it when I was buffaloed.
02:49Okay, let's go, Desperados!
03:20Okay, what's this hideout?
03:22It's an abandoned mine where I used to hide cash and guns.
03:25I gave this eye to Charlie so we could meet up after I got out.
03:28Discreetly.
03:29If you know what I mean.
03:31Doesn't matter.
03:31If she's here, we'll find her right away.
03:33Because this area is completely deserted.
03:41My mother should have given you vocabulary lessons.
03:43Because you don't know what deserted means.
03:45If Charlie's still hiding here, her kidnappers must be close.
03:49We'll have to play it incognito.
03:50Hands in the air.
03:51I'm not sure that's gonna help us be incognito.
03:53I said, hands in the air.
03:59That's good.
04:03Calamity.
04:04Jane.
04:05Calamity Jane.
04:07It's Calamity Jane.
04:08You're Calamity Jane.
04:09Is she epileptic or something?
04:11Worse.
04:11She's a fan.
04:13Excuse me, Mrs. Jane, but...
04:15No, no, no.
04:15Don't you dare come near me.
04:16And don't you call me Mrs.
04:19Mrs.
04:20Was my mother.
04:21That's not even true.
04:22She was a hooker.
04:24I'm so thrilled to get to meet you in person.
04:27I read your memoir at least 350 times.
04:30It's a good thing you're here.
04:31Because my mother was kidnapped.
04:33No.
04:33Yes.
04:34Really?
04:34Yes, I swear.
04:35For real?
04:35Of course, for real.
04:36I don't give a rat's ass.
04:38I'm sorry, Louise.
04:40I should have told you that she was-
04:42In a hurry.
04:43I'm in a hurry.
04:45Kid's telling the truth.
04:46Her mom was kidnapped.
04:47But what I said is also true.
04:49I don't give a rat's ass.
04:51I want the reward.
04:52The reward?
04:53The loot.
04:54The dough.
04:54The moolah.
04:55You're a hunter looking for a reward?
04:57Not a.
04:57The best manhunter there is.
04:59I took down all your wanted posters to be the only one on your trail.
05:02Too bad for the others.
05:16Have you been able to message Governor Z?
05:18Yes.
05:19I said we were currently actively following the girls trail, but unfortunately we were mutually
05:23unsuccessful.
05:24Well, you outdid yourself with the adverbs, Sarge.
05:26It's more expensive, but it's more professional.
05:29Ah.
05:29Oh.
05:30It's going beep beep.
05:31Hmm.
05:36It's not a trap.
05:43It's all the girls.
05:46It's not a trap.
05:47Happy defense!
05:47It's not a trap.
05:48So, what does she say?
05:51I'm a trap.
05:53It's a trap.
05:54Can you see п bible?
05:55I can't do it.
05:56I want a trap.
05:57I don't do it.
05:58The n t i'm a trap, my shell.
05:58So, I guess you got promoted?
06:00Yeah, now it's just the two of us.
06:01Yeah, and that's something that's really going to motivate us.
06:04She's diabolical, isn't she?
06:06Huh. Yeah. Yeah.
06:12At first I was just following the girl. What a trailblazer.
06:15No less than 23 armed robberies just last week.
06:18You robbed more than 20 people before finding me?
06:20I had a gun and no time to waste.
06:22Now that's my girl.
06:23This was the easiest track of my life.
06:25This idiot would leave a note each time with her name and address.
06:28No way that's my girl.
06:29It was for the greater good.
06:30Convenient excuse.
06:32And then after that, well, it's just like reading one of those photo books.
06:36Boot theft. Hat theft.
06:39School transport theft.
06:40I didn't see the cart behind the mule.
06:42Kidnapping.
06:43Or the kids in the cart.
06:44Horse theft. That one's for Billy.
06:47And it goes on and on like that until you guys team up.
06:50And that's when, I mean, all hell breaks loose.
06:54Jailbreak. Bank robbery. BFFs with the Daltons.
06:57You've completely gone over to the dark side.
06:58Yeah. Okay, I know what you're going to say, but I did it for the greater good.
07:02Oh.
07:03Come on, Jane.
07:04You know me.
07:05Well, you know me too.
07:07The mule comes first.
07:08I don't understand you, Calamity.
07:10You're a legend of the Wild West.
07:12There's a woman in distress, saving her as a noble cause.
07:16Listen to your heart.
07:24What if he could get you more money?
07:26Ah.
07:27Now we're talking.
07:35Okay.
07:37Come with us while we look for her mother.
07:39With Joe in the picture, things are bound to go sideways.
07:41The reward money will go up.
07:43Once we find Charlie and she's somewhere safe,
07:45you turn us in, you get a markup on top.
07:47Deal?
07:50Get a markup on top, and you say I'm vulgar.
07:54Okay, but if you try to trick me, I'll shoot you dead.
08:23So much for going incognito.
08:25We can just stay cognito.
08:27I got the fever.
08:29It's called gold fever.
08:30Did you find gold?
08:33Did you find gold?
08:34Did you?
08:37Look in here and tell me if you see any.
08:40I gotta go dig.
08:43I think I should go dig.
08:45I gotta go dig.
08:49Okay, we go in the mine, and we look for my mom.
08:52You're not going anywhere.
08:54I'm keeping her as collateral.
08:57Don't worry.
08:58We'll be back soon.
08:59Don't even try.
09:00I'm not trying.
09:01I'm just talking to you.
09:02Really?
09:02Because now you have something to say?
09:04Ooh.
09:08Yeah, she's a sharpshooter, too.
09:21Ah, so you see.
09:22If you squint really hard and look at the scales on the fish, you can see the layout of the
09:27mine.
09:28That's crazy.
09:29Can you pick your teeth with it?
09:31Ha, very funny.
09:32Although you're right, you can pick your teeth with it, because if you pull this little knob, no one goes
09:36in.
09:41I'm warning you.
09:42If you dare shoot me in the head, you're a dead man.
09:46Okay, I think we should all just calm down here, right?
09:49We'd like to speak to the person in charge.
09:52So who's the owner?
09:53I'm the owner.
09:54I'm the owner.
09:55I'm the owner.
09:55I'm the owner.
09:56I'm the owner.
09:56They can't even agree on that.
09:58I've had enough.
09:59Stop.
10:00No one's going to sneak inside our mine again.
10:02Bunch of thieves.
10:03Hang on, did you really see someone sneak inside?
10:05Like a...
10:06A sneaker?
10:07Lurker?
10:07Lurker.
10:08Or a lady lurker?
10:10How do you know that?
10:12I just saw Shadow.
10:14She dropped one for boots.
10:16It doesn't matter anyway.
10:17No one's going through.
10:18We're on patrol 24-7.
10:22And we shoot to kill.
10:26What size was the boot?
10:30So she's in there and we can't go in?
10:32Don't worry.
10:33We'll charge in.
10:34Gun's blazing.
10:35End of story.
10:36Yeah, except we're not doing that.
10:38It's full of saltpeter in there.
10:39Potassium nitrate.
10:41Saltpeter?
10:42Yeah, potassium nitrate.
10:44It'll explode if we start shooting.
10:45Okay, so we're going to pop them delicately.
10:48Two slugs in each head, no straight bullets in them.
10:49No, we're not going to kill anybody here.
10:51Who talked about killing?
10:52You did.
10:52When?
10:53Just now.
10:53I said no gun, so it doesn't matter.
10:56You shouldn't try to go in there.
10:59That mine drives people crazy.
11:28It's our friend from the mine.
11:33That's Bao.
11:34He's my husband.
11:36He's gone crazy like all the others.
11:41All this is my fault.
11:45What do you mean?
11:51What do you mean?
12:12We dreamt of adventure.
12:12He was over?
12:13He was overjoyed.
12:14He was overjoyed.
12:15He was overjoyed.
12:15So of course he went to the saloon.
12:16I suppose a week later you had all the neighborhood prospectors on your property?
12:20What do you think?
12:21It's the West.
12:22It's the West.
12:23It's the West.
12:23But he stood strong and kept a tunnel for himself.
12:26The sheriff?
12:26Did he do something?
12:27Yep.
12:28He bought a pickaxe.
12:30They've really all gone crazy.
12:32Crazy, but rich?
12:32Not even.
12:33Since the rush a month ago, only five nuggets were found.
12:36And none by my husband.
12:38Okay, so we're dealing with a prize sucker.
12:41What?
12:42Come on.
12:44That's a lot of coffee.
12:46Yeah.
12:47That's what everybody lives on here.
12:49To keep going.
12:57Okay, we need to find a way to get into that mine.
13:00I never thought I'd enjoy watching you two struggle this much.
13:09I'm not working with Lucky Luke.
13:12You think it doesn't suck for me to have you here?
13:13Well, it super sucks for me.
13:14Yeah, well, the double super sucks for me.
13:16Hey, if there was a contest to determine for who it sucks the most,
13:19I win first prize and you'd come in so far behind me.
13:21You want to bet?
13:22That's enough.
13:23Stop, you two.
13:23You're going to work together because I said so.
13:25Plus, I'm holding all the guns.
13:59You're going to win first prize.
14:17okay you finished i'm finished yeah because you have six bullets and i've got seven guns
14:31i'm gonna find your mother and then i'll steal a ring i'll force a pastor and marry us and we
14:36can be a family you're so annoying you're so annoying papa
14:53canvas to sneak into the mine it's beige it's dirty we can just dress up as rocks wow you're a
14:58real
14:59genius and you wonder why i bust you every time and every time i always escape you got a better
15:05idea yeah negotiate maybe try to talk some sense into them explain how they could kill each other
15:11that their lust for gold will leave nowhere yeah and we can braid our hair while drinking coffee too
15:17the coffee
15:20i don't know what idea you just had but it's mine for the record
15:24you're putting perfume in the coffee it's chloroform we'll serve them some coffee to knock them out
15:31not bad just empty the bottle well i don't want to kill them wow you really have changed luke you're
15:36scared of putting too much chloroform of shooting people of talking to louise
15:40i bet you're scared of finding charlie because she's the only woman you've ever really loved
15:45would you just shut up oh you should see your expression that's gold right there gold
15:49gold where's the gold you found gold no
15:58but we have coffee who wants coffee
16:03his face lit up with a smile because calamity had just saved his life by giving him hope once again
16:10why are you reading that chapter 26 when you helped that marshall recoup his weapons in abilene
16:15and you think that book's gonna make me want to find your mother i think you need a reminder
16:19calamity you've lost faith in yourself tell me what happened did someone break your heart did a
16:25bloodthirsty gunslinger shoot your friend what are you talking about the only problem i have is
16:29that lousy book's not making money anymore
16:33it's not lousy it's your biography no it's an inventography i didn't do any of that you understand
16:40it's all lies what i mean except for the part where i learned to speak bison and i become queen
16:47of the herd that's my favorite passage are you stupid or what i just told you it was all made
16:51up
16:52everything it's all a bunch of hogwash for silly girls who dream of a life of adventure
16:57this is unbelievable and to think i always dreamt of meeting you
17:04now i wish i never met you at all
17:18wait why is it so quiet
17:36charlie
17:40charlie
17:43charlie
17:45charlie
17:51charlie
17:52charlie
17:53charlie
18:06charlie
18:07charlie
18:08charlie
18:09charlie
18:10charlie
18:10charlie
18:10charlie
18:10charlie
18:11charlie
18:11charlie
18:12charlie
18:13charlie
18:15charlie
18:17charlie
18:17charlie
18:17charlie
18:27Ah, what is this?
18:36This looks like gold.
18:37Gold?
18:38Gold?
18:39Gold?
18:40Gold?
18:43Hey, what are you doing here?
18:44We just wanted to know if you take sugar in your coffee.
18:47Get out of the book.
18:48Get out.
18:48Hurry up.
18:50Eat gold.
18:55Thanks a lot, Jane.
18:57You were a big help.
18:58What?
18:58I came, I saw, I profited.
19:01What's going on?
19:03Did someone find gold?
19:04Yes.
19:06But it wasn't me.
19:10Hey.
19:11You'll be me next time.
19:12You'll see.
19:15Oh, it's okay.
19:17Ow.
19:33Come on, there has to be another way to get into that mine.
19:48Hey.
19:49What are you doing there?
19:53My mom was taken because of this conspiracy.
19:56Mmm.
19:58And because of a...
20:01Don't.
20:01It's important.
20:03Yeah, but there's more important.
20:05I'm going to play poker in the saloon tent.
20:06Come on, I'll teach you.
20:08No, you don't need me there.
20:09Sure I do.
20:10You're my hostage and my good luck charm.
20:11Come on, let's go.
20:20C-L-D-T-C-L-D-T-L-M-Q-P-C.
20:27Hey.
20:28Your mom left and she's living her best life, okay?
20:32And that bunch of letters, those have got to be initials.
20:35Either names of saloons or guys.
20:36That's bullshit.
20:37Life's everyone for themselves.
20:38That's how it is.
20:39It's like that because of people like you.
20:41Don't you mean like us?
20:42You think I don't know what you did for the greater good?
20:45You married Billy and broke his little heart.
20:47All that for a horse?
20:49Even I wouldn't have stooped so low.
20:52Call.
20:57Yeah, I screwed up with Billy.
21:00I used him and I hate myself for it.
21:03But I'm young and mistakes are normal.
21:05You, you're the one who's given up.
21:07But thanks, because now I know who I never ever want to be like.
21:10Damn it.
21:11Don't you think I had dreams of my own?
21:13You think I didn't want to be someone better?
21:16Life beats you up, okay?
21:19So you toughen up.
21:24And the tougher you get, the more you protect yourself.
21:29Then one day you realize that you lost yourself along the way.
21:34You look around and you're in a saloon tent, gambling your life away.
21:39Always lying.
21:42Always pretending to have a good hand.
21:48You think it's too late for me, Luis?
22:01Damn sure took you long enough.
22:03Bam.
22:04Royal straight flush.
22:10Today's lesson is, in the West, tears are either because you've got sand in your eyes or because you're being
22:18played.
22:21Hey, cheers.
22:23Cheers.
22:47Wait, on top of that, you're a cheater at cards?
22:49Today's second lesson is, in the West, if someone wears sleeves, it's not because they're cold.
22:55It's to hide the cards.
23:01Well, I can play this game too.
23:05Spit that gold nugget out now.
23:07Fine, my mom or I'll swallow it.
23:10In your book, it doesn't mention that I kill kids.
23:15But it really should say so, because I can.
23:21That's enough, Jane.
23:23You spit that out.
23:27Now.
23:33Only five nuggets were found.
23:40It's all my fault.
23:43Do you see that?
23:48It doesn't look like a nugget.
23:50It looks like melted gold.
23:52Yeah, and look what didn't melt.
23:59Here.
24:00Enjoy.
24:04You go see Sarah.
24:05I'll get Bao.
24:09Still gold.
24:19Sarah.
24:21They said something happened to you?
24:23Yeah, something happened, all right.
24:25She found a gold vein.
24:27Around her neck?
24:30That necklace was a gift from your husband.
24:34A gift you sacrificed.
24:37In this photo, there are ten gold beads on your necklace.
24:42And now only half of them are left.
24:48I don't understand.
24:52I melted them down.
24:55Little by little.
24:57To make them into nuggets.
25:01I couldn't stand to see you spend your days digging for nothing.
25:04You were so unhappy.
25:11Even when it comes to finding fake nuggets, I'm useless.
25:16Of course you're not.
25:18I don't care about the gold.
25:20I only did this for you.
25:24And I was staying for you.
25:27Because you wanted adventure.
25:30My adventure is being with you.
25:39I was so scared.
25:42I was so scared to tell you.
25:48At the end of the day, the only real treasure in this mine is love.
25:52Romance.
25:59So the treasure's romance?
26:02What a load of bullshit.
26:04Wait, she said there's no gold in there?
26:07Hey guys!
26:08There's no gold!
26:10There's no gold!
26:10What do you mean there's no gold?
26:11Everyone catch up here.
26:35Let's go.
26:36Let's find Charlie.
26:37I don't think so.
26:39I don't think so.
26:46I've had enough of your bullshit.
26:49I'm turning you in.
26:50You can't.
26:50We're so close to our goal.
26:52The only thing I want to get close to is my bounty.
26:54Are you kidding?
26:57Huh?
26:58Oh shit!
26:59Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
27:04Excuse me, sirs.
27:05I need your help, please.
27:06I was taken hostage by Calamity Jane while trying to find my mother.
27:10Her name is Charlie Willow.
27:12She's a teacher and she's stuck in that mine.
27:15It would be our pleasure to help you, miss.
27:21Truly.
27:29What do you want with my mom anyway?
27:30Just shut up and walk.
27:44What was that?
27:51Charlie?
27:59Luke?
28:06Mama!
28:08Luis!
28:09Mama!
28:12What are you doing here?
28:15Stay where you are!
28:16Or we'll shoot the kid!
28:20We've been looking for you for ten days.
28:23Ever since this idiot and his brothers attacked the stagecoach.
28:25Watch it.
28:27And now, Mrs. Willow, we'll hand you over to you-know-who.
28:45Saltpeter, it'll explode if we start shooting.
28:57Charlie, don't!
29:00Don't shoot!
29:02There's saltpeter everywhere!
29:04I know.
29:13I love you.
29:15No!
29:16No!
29:16No!
29:16No!
29:17No!
29:18No!
29:19No!
29:19No!
29:19No!
29:19No!
29:20No!
29:20No!
29:22No!
29:26No!
29:27No!
29:29No!
29:33No!
29:36No!
29:38No!
29:40No!
29:48No!
29:50No!
31:11Here.
31:14A souvenir.
31:20Moving on?
31:22Yeah.
31:23I think that about does it for me.
31:29The adventure's over.
32:16I think that?
32:25I don't know.
32:52I don't know.
32:54Luis?
32:59Luis?
33:00Luis?