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Short filmTranscript
00:03Black Room
00:07Crucifixus
00:16Crucifixus
00:21Crucifixus
00:37CHOIR SINGS
00:53Oh, my God. Look at this.
01:02She has risen!
01:04Oh, no.
01:06I was never dead.
01:08TMZ got a bad tip.
01:10They issued a retraction this morning.
01:12But they said they carried your body off a boat in Singapore and you didn't make it.
01:15What?
01:16They said they carried your body off a boat in Singapore and you didn't make it.
01:22No, yeah.
01:23No, no, no.
01:24I didn't make it to the hospital.
01:27I came to in the ambulance.
01:29I had them reroute me to my hotel.
01:32Hallelujah.
01:33Jesus.
01:34We didn't want to believe it, that it made sense because of your, you know, your, um, your, your breakdown.
01:41My breakdown?
01:42Yeah.
01:43At late night, it was all over the news that you went cuckoo.
01:53Debra Vance is alive!
02:11Motherfuckers!
02:12These headlines are horrible!
02:15How Debra Vance lost her way and lost late night in the process.
02:19Oh, diva down!
02:21Talk show host's bizarre behavior raises serious concerns.
02:25Ever since you went to Singapore, Bob Lipka has been smearing you in the press.
02:28But I defended you in all the comments with my burner at Joyce Goldblood Chang.
02:33Oh, my God.
02:34Debra Vance is on-air breakway.
02:36They cut the feed before her meltdown.
02:38What?
02:38That's a bad one.
02:39Oh, once an arsonist, always an arsonist.
02:41Debra Vance burns down late night?
02:43God, I knew that social media detox was going to bite me in the ass.
02:47First, I was tagged in some very unflattering photos.
02:50Now this?
02:51There are hundreds of these.
02:53Where are all the articles calling me a free speech warrior?
02:56Well, there were some positive ones, but they've been buried.
02:58Oh, of course, because that bastard owns almost every news outlet.
03:01Oh, my God.
03:02I think we've all read the stories.
03:04Speaking of.
03:05And, yeah, it's tragic.
03:07Of course, I wish Debra had spoken to us first, but, hey, it is a tough gig.
03:11Oh.
03:12Not everyone's built for it.
03:14We all just hope she gets well.
03:16Gets well?
03:16Gets well?
03:17Gets well!
03:19No wonder the obituary was so bad.
03:21They needed someone to blame, so they blamed me, the crazy lady.
03:25It's the fucking house fire all over again.
03:27We need to sue, okay?
03:29And we need to get these websites to issue a retraction.
03:31I don't think that's good.
03:33No.
03:33Damage is already done.
03:35Fuck.
03:36We need to shift the narrative with something bigger than all of this.
03:40Like what?
03:42I'll figure something out.
03:51I think we should do a couple of costumes for Halloween.
03:58Well, what are you thinking?
03:59Bart and Lisa are...
04:00Knock, knock.
04:01Hey.
04:03May I?
04:04Sure.
04:06Regret to inform you that Jeff Dunham is signing elsewhere.
04:11Oh.
04:11Fuck!
04:12But the meeting went so well, I even got along with a stupid-ass puppet.
04:15All of our meetings go well.
04:17And then they find out we can't do business with Bob Lipka's companies and they ghost us.
04:20Well, it doesn't help that our client list is older female and losing bone density by the minute, Jimmy.
04:25You don't have to tell me twice.
04:26We lost two clients to Bad Falls this month alone.
04:28It's sad.
04:29And I don't want to visit the hospital again.
04:31Parking is a nightmare.
04:33I didn't want to tell you this, but we lost Lassie.
04:36The dog signed somewhere else?
04:38No, I mean, we literally lost her.
04:40She ran away.
04:41And she's not fixed, Jimmy.
04:43She's probably taking loads from every pity from here, Santa Clarita, stupid whore.
04:46All right, look, I know this isn't popular.
04:48No one's going to want to hear this, but I think we should revisit the conversation about downsizing this office.
04:52No!
04:52We're not downsizing.
04:55Don't make me say that again.
04:56Kayla, the office, the rent, the phones, the insurance, it costs $30,000 a month to be here.
05:01It's worth it.
05:02Mm-hmm.
05:03We're projecting success to the industry.
05:04I mean, there's already nasty gossip going around about us ever since you beat the shit out of Bob Lipka.
05:09I didn't beat the shit out of him.
05:10I just knocked his phone out of his hand.
05:11We had a little scuffle.
05:12The assistant slack is still a buzz, boss.
05:15Not good.
05:16If we move now, it's a death bill.
05:19Okay.
05:20Fine.
05:21It's Damien.
05:22Says Deborah wants to have lunch in Vegas this afternoon.
05:24Oh, my God.
05:25The last-minute flights are going to be so expensive.
05:26This is what I'm talking about.
05:27Do you know what's free?
05:28Your BMW.
05:30Which I just had vacuumed.
05:31It's spotless.
05:32You could eat an omakasi off the dash.
05:34Sure, but if we're going to drive and be there at lunch, we've got to go now.
05:37Road trip.
05:37I'll drive.
05:38Don't worry.
05:38I just got my license.
05:40Just?
05:41Shotgun.
05:41Okay, I guess I'll sit in the back of my own car.
05:43Go with me.
05:49Come on.
05:51Wake up!
05:52No!
05:54I figured it out.
05:55What time is it?
05:56Actually, what day is it?
05:57Every obituary leads with a person's greatest achievement or failure.
06:02That's why I need a win.
06:03A legacy-defining win that they cannot spend.
06:06Okay.
06:06I refuse to be remembered on other people's terms as a quitter or the person who killed
06:11late night or some hysterical woman.
06:13I have worked too hard and I have fought far too long.
06:16I will be remembered for my accomplishments.
06:19Yes.
06:20So I have decided to EGOT.
06:25Uh, EGOT?
06:27Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony.
06:28Oh, I know.
06:29Well, actually, I didn't.
06:30I thought the G was for Golden Globe.
06:32But I, I love that.
06:34I love that!
06:35Oh, oh, good.
06:36I kind of assumed you'd think it was crazy.
06:38No.
06:39I think, I think it'd be crazy if you did not do that.
06:41Right?
06:42Yeah.
06:42Great!
06:43Come on, get up.
06:43We're having lunch with the team.
06:44Now!
06:45Well, lunch?
06:46I'm still on Singapore Standard Time.
06:51Midnight Snack could be good.
07:05That's right!
07:06It's me, I'm alive!
07:08It's hard and it's worth it.
07:11I mean, I know EGOT is ambitious, but I'm already halfway there.
07:15I have a daytime Emmy for hosting B'Gongle.
07:17Yes!
07:18Oh, my God.
07:18B'Gongle!
07:19Yeah.
07:20Wait, what?
07:20Oh, B'Gongle was a game show on the USA Network in 1992 where celebrities played Boggle on a constantly
07:26shaking floor.
07:27So funny.
07:28And I already have my Tony for producing.
07:30In a post-coital haze, Eric Idle convinced me to put some money into Spamalot.
07:34Anyway, I already have my T and my E, so now I need you to get me my O.
07:41O.
07:42Well, O is for Oscar.
07:43No, I know what O stands for.
07:45I just meant O like a reaction.
07:47Oh, that's crazy!
07:48Wow!
07:49Um, anyway, Debra, I'm gonna have to review your contract because I have to see what you can even do
07:52legally.
07:55Bossman, permission to speak?
07:57Sure.
07:57Now, the network paid out Debra's contract and they did it all through her exclusivity clause, not the non-compete.
08:03Technically, she can't do anything scripted or paid TV, film, no new media, they control her socials, no live public
08:09performances, and the contract specifies Florida law governs.
08:12And because Debra already signed her injunctive relief clause, if she violates the contract, they can come out of her
08:17with a restraining order or worse!
08:19You memorized all that?
08:21Inadvertently, I mean, someone recently told me they thought I was autistic.
08:24That was me this morning.
08:25Oh, yeah!
08:27Anyway, she can technically still film something now as long as it's not released until the non-compete is over.
08:32I like this young man.
08:34The thing about an Oscar is...
08:35No, no, Jimmy, it's not that difficult.
08:37I mean, award voters love it when funny people go dead serious.
08:41Yes.
08:41Just find me my Monique moment.
08:43Well, I think I can set you up as a general spy.
08:44Oh, no, on to the Grammys.
08:46Tragically, I have been nominated for my stand-up record seven times I have never won.
08:49Seven?
08:50I think it was seven.
08:51Mm-hmm.
08:52Not Advance in Hell, Under the Knife, Over the Drama, Live at the Mall of America, The Alestra Diaries, Live
08:59for Your Diet, The Debt Commandments, and, uh, The Badger.
09:02One of the best things in life are at Sears, Debt Reefance Live sponsored by Sears.
09:06So, yeah, seven.
09:07Robbed.
09:07Now, I know I can't do stand-up right now, so I'm taking a different route.
09:10I'm gonna compete in the best audiobook category by recording my memoir.
09:15You wrote a memoir?
09:15No.
09:16That's great.
09:16Well, no, not yet.
09:17But I happen to know the best writer in the world.
09:21Oh.
09:22Tony Kushner.
09:24Hey, what about me?
09:25You can't write my memoir.
09:26You're too obsessed with me.
09:28It's cool.
09:28I gave up on developing my prose skills when I realized Gen Alpha can't read.
09:33All right, everybody, let's go.
09:34G-O stands for Grammy, Oscar.
09:37Yeah.
09:38I'm not scared.
09:39Woo!
09:39A Grammy and an Oscar?
09:42Ava.
09:42No, I know, okay, but you don't understand how bad it got in Singapore.
09:46She was sleeping all day.
09:47She was drinking till noon.
09:48Jimmy, she wore Crocs in public.
09:51Did the Crocs have a heel?
09:52No.
09:53But she keeps her heels on during surgery.
09:55Yeah, so that's why whatever she wants to do, we need to get on board, okay?
09:59Okay, yeah.
10:01And you know what?
10:02I guess she has done crazier things, right?
10:03Yes, of course.
10:05She can do anything.
10:06We can do anything.
10:08Speaking of which, I need you to write and sell a huge international hit that has potential
10:12for sequels.
10:13Can you do that?
10:14I...
10:14Look, I would never normally pressure a client to help our firm financially,
10:18but we really need it.
10:20We've had a tough few months.
10:23Jimmy, she gave up the show for me.
10:25You know, I have to stay and help her.
10:26I'm sorry.
10:27No, no, no.
10:27I get that.
10:29Actually, I did finish my Mall Girl script in Singapore.
10:31I could send you that.
10:32Amazing.
10:33Okay, great.
10:34You send me that, and I guess I'll go get Deborah an Academy Award?
10:40Perfect.
10:41Great to see you.
10:48Mr. Kushner, um, I just want to say, it's such an honor to observe the writing process
10:53of one of my heroes.
10:55I mean, Angels in America was just, yeah, so formative for me.
10:58Oh, that's sweet.
10:59She's just shadowing, so feel free to ignore her.
11:01I often do.
11:02Oh.
11:04So, Tony, where do we start?
11:06I'm thinking a chapter a day, 15 chapters.
11:08We should be able to wrap this up in two weeks.
11:10Easy.
11:11Uh, we're gonna need far longer than that.
11:13I really believe in an immersive process.
11:17Oh.
11:18Okay.
11:19Well, I don't tend to love those whiny childhood parts of most celebrity memoirs.
11:26But then again, I was a very strong child.
11:28I held up my own head at three months old.
11:30My little blonde head.
11:31Oh, wow.
11:32I know.
11:33Oh, that would make a great opening sentence.
11:36Quote, I was born blonde.
11:38I actually want to start way before that.
11:41Since your people descend from Scotland, I've been reading The Lion in the North.
11:47One thousand years of Scotland's history.
11:50Did you know that your eighth great grandfather was a prominent figure in the Battle of Glenfruin?
11:57I didn't.
11:58It's really fascinating stuff.
12:01It starts with the McGregor clan.
12:02They were in a feud with the Coughlin clan over cattle thefts and land thefts.
12:06This is like the beginning of the 17th century when James VI, who was a big homo, moved to England
12:12to become James I.
12:14First, and it was the start of the Jacobean era, and then the translation of the D. James I.
12:24Okay.
12:25What if Debra produces a documentary short?
12:27That's got to be an easy category, right?
12:28There's no way Debra's getting into that category this year.
12:31I mean, do you see how many ongoing lores we have going on right now?
12:35There's at least a nominee coming out of each.
12:38Unless Debra wants to drag a film crew through the Congo, it's not happening.
12:42God, this is impossible.
12:43It is.
12:44Is it, though?
12:45Because correct me if I'm wrong, there already is a movie with early Oscar buzz that Debra has a connection
12:49to.
12:50Which one?
12:51The Fatty Arbuckle movie, Jimmy.
12:53The one you're producing?
12:54Hello?
12:55Yeah, no.
12:56That's the only project we have without Debra or a rabid dog attached.
12:59Absolutely not, no.
13:00And dare I say I'm proud of my work on it.
13:02Thank you very much.
13:03It's an awards season dream.
13:05I mean, it's a biopic.
13:07It's got famous actors playing a games type.
13:09It's a period piece.
13:09It's got everything.
13:10She just needs a small part.
13:12Do you know that Beatrice Strait won the Oscar for Network despite having only five minutes of screen time?
13:17Five minutes!
13:18I didn't know.
13:19That had no idea.
13:20But it doesn't matter.
13:20We're already finished shooting.
13:21Don't we have to do reshoots?
13:23No, we are doing additional photography.
13:24Reshoot!
13:25Great!
13:25We are doing additional photography.
13:26It is different than a reshoot.
13:27A different thing.
13:28Christopher Plummer was nominated for a performance done entirely within additional photography.
13:34Wow.
13:35How do you know all this stuff?
13:36Once I started learning about Hollywood, I couldn't stop.
13:39Such a fascinating mix of culture and business and art and history.
13:43It's America.
13:44I mean, maybe if she was Australian I could see it.
13:47Mmm.
13:48But, no, look.
13:50The Arbuckle movie is the only thing that's going well for a firm.
13:53I can't mess it up.
13:54Alright, whatever you say.
13:56Maybe she could learn sound mixing and rise to the top of her field in the next two weeks.
14:01The worst idea I've ever heard.
14:03Hey, there are no bad ideas, but...
14:04No, it's okay.
14:05I probably shouldn't have said anything.
14:06Mmm.
14:08Fuck!
14:09You've got to be more sensitive to her, okay?
14:12Kayla.
14:12Honey, it's okay.
14:13You know what?
14:14There are no bad ideas in a brainstorm.
14:15And it's really hard to get an Oscar.
14:16They're trying to break or offer our home.
14:19But God's a child that's got his own.
14:24Okay.
14:25So, today, let's start with high school.
14:27I was gorgeous, smart, and popular.
14:29College, same.
14:30Now, that's when Frank came in.
14:32Before we get into that, let me just play you something.
14:36And I stood there, shivering in my pajamas and...
14:39I think this is the soundtrack for the first chapter of the book.
14:43I was all over.
14:44I said to myself...
14:45Books don't have soundtracks.
14:47No, the soundtrack I'll listen to while I write that section of your life.
14:51Oh, my God.
14:51That is such a cool way to do it.
14:54God, when I write, I just change out of my sleep pajamas to my daytime pajamas.
15:00Maybe close your eyes to really feel it?
15:04I don't know.
15:06I have a Pulitzer.
15:09Okay.
15:12Oh, wow.
15:14This does feel good.
15:16Right?
15:16She gets it.
15:19If that's all...
15:23Oh, I love this song.
15:26Hi, Tony.
15:26Is that all there is?
15:31Is that all there is?
15:36Is that all there is?
15:37Is that's all there is, my friends?
15:41Then let's keep dancing.
15:45Oh, fatty.
15:47I can't be alone.
15:49I wish I could hold you just one more time.
15:56I can't believe I'm saying this, but Deborah actually would be better for this part.
16:00Uh, yeah.
16:01Anybody would.
16:02Let's cut.
16:03Cutting!
16:04I'm sorry, guys.
16:05I'm really having trouble accessing the emotions today.
16:08No, no, no, darling.
16:09You're doing fantastic.
16:10We love it.
16:12I hate it that she's so bad.
16:14Yeah, she's been horrible all day.
16:16Do you think that maybe she'd be better if we put peanut butter on the roof of her mouth?
16:21What?
16:21We recently did the last reboot.
16:23She's kidding, I think.
16:23I'm not kidding.
16:24I hope.
16:25Look, I hate to say this, but I do think we should recast her.
16:28You do?
16:29That's a good idea.
16:30I mean, this movie's about a comedian, right?
16:32It's leaning a little maudlin.
16:34I think you should put a comedian in the role.
16:36Right?
16:38What about Deborah Vance?
16:41It's an interesting idea.
16:42Does she act at all?
16:43Are you kidding?
16:43She was the lead of Who's Making Dinner?
16:45Groundbreaking sitcom in the 70s?
16:47Oh, wow.
16:47She's great at that.
16:48And you know what is crazy?
16:48Her story is exactly like Fatty's.
16:50I mean, she was cast aside by the public.
16:52She was maligned, but then she rose from the ashes.
16:54It's actually really good for the narrative, and I think she'd be amazing in the part.
16:57That was very inspired, Kayla.
16:58It's a great idea.
16:59I just totally came up with it.
17:00Didn't she go crazy or something recently?
17:02No, no, no.
17:03That was a coordinated smear campaign.
17:04What the hell are you talking about?
17:04That is absolutely false.
17:05I can tell you as her manager, all those things you've read.
17:07Something not true.
17:08She's sassier than ever.
17:09Okay.
17:10Great.
17:10I love it.
17:11Let's do it.
17:11Okay.
17:12Awesome.
17:13And you have to fire Esme because I'm not good at being direct with people.
17:17You're a director.
17:18I know.
17:20Okay.
17:21Great.
17:22Cool.
17:22Moving on, everyone.
17:23All right, moving on.
17:24Moving on.
17:27God, I can't believe you're recording the book already.
17:29Oh, no, no.
17:30The book's not happening.
17:31I fired Kushner.
17:33You fired Tony Kushner?
17:34Hmm?
17:35No, Deborah!
17:37God!
17:38I was gonna slowly develop a relationship with him over the course of years, and then eventually
17:41ask him to read my script, and he was gonna love it.
17:44You know how it is with men.
17:45If they're not moving at your pace, it just gets boring and painful after a while.
17:49Okay, so why are we in a recording studio, then?
17:52I had McKinsey run the numbers to see if I could still get a Grammy this year.
17:57Deborah, we talked about you not using McKinsey.
18:00You said I could do it if it was for a good cause.
18:02No, I didn't.
18:03Well, it is, and I did.
18:06Apparently, it is an incredibly weak year for one Grammy category.
18:10Regional Mexican music album, including Tejano.
18:14And?
18:15And if I'm featured with the front runner, and they win, which they will cause it's
18:19a weak year, I get my G!
18:21Yay!
18:23Hey Deborah, we're ready for you.
18:25Thanks.
18:27Okay, wish me luck.
18:32Did you know about this?
18:33Yes.
18:37Hi, hi.
18:38Hello.
18:38How are you doing?
18:39Good.
18:40Alright.
18:42Hit it!
19:04Oh God, I hate firing people.
19:07Let's do a good cop, bad cop.
19:09I'll be bad cop.
19:09They're sexier.
19:11Okay.
19:12Just...
19:12Okay.
19:13We should see a concert soon.
19:15I'm kind of in the mood for a concert.
19:17Alright.
19:18Come in!
19:21Hi there.
19:22It's Jimmy and Kayla.
19:23Yeah!
19:23Hi!
19:24Hi.
19:25We need to talk to you, honey.
19:27Okay.
19:28Sure.
19:28Come on in.
19:30Oh, thank you so much for welcoming us into your space.
19:34Of course.
19:36Um, we should start by saying that you, madam, have been just so punctual.
19:43Of course I'm punctual.
19:44That being said, you're bad!
19:47You're acting's ass!
19:48Okay.
19:48And you're being outperformed by a dead corpse mama!
19:51Okay, sorry about her.
19:52Give us a second.
19:53That was insane.
19:54But honestly, it's on me.
19:55I should have never let you be bad cop.
19:56You be good cop.
19:57Okay.
19:58Kind of an oxymoron though.
20:00Fucking pigs.
20:00Just be as nice as you possibly can, okay?
20:02Okay.
20:03I'll be the nicest girl in the whole world.
20:06Sorry about that, hun.
20:07I'm super bi-polar.
20:08Oh my god.
20:09I did not know that.
20:11Um, yeah.
20:13I, uh, I'm really sorry about that.
20:15But unfortunately, I do have some bad news.
20:18Okay.
20:19Those are your real lips.
20:20If so, your boyfriend's one lucky son of a bitch.
20:24I have a wife.
20:26Uh, gay ass.
20:27Listen, there's no easy way to say this.
20:30You are being recast.
20:31What?
20:33Oh my god.
20:34You are terminated.
20:35Effective immediately.
20:35Please pack up your things and return your costume and the wig cap.
20:38Fuck you, Jimmy.
20:40Seriously?
20:40What?
20:41I mean, this is so unfair, right?
20:43Insane.
20:44Wrong.
20:44Let's get the union involved.
20:46You jackass.
20:47No, we're not getting the union involved.
20:49We're just recasting.
20:50It happens every day.
20:50No, I mean, seriously.
20:51You've been mistreated in the workplace.
20:52No, she hasn't.
20:53This is just a recasting.
20:54It happens every day in Hollywood, okay?
20:55It's tough business.
20:56I've never seen something like this.
20:57It happens a lot, okay?
20:58Unfortunately, this decision is final.
21:00You're fired.
21:01But you're also signed by us as a client.
21:05Really?
21:06Mm-hmm.
21:06Kayla.
21:07I am seeking representation.
21:09Well, you found it with Schaefer and Lusak.
21:11Welcome to the family.
21:12Oh, Jesus.
21:12Oh, my God.
21:13Yeah.
21:14Yeah.
21:14We should definitely get a dinner on the books.
21:16Yay!
21:18Dinner.
21:18Dinner.
21:19Dinner.
21:20Dinner.
21:25I consider myself a playwright who's learned to write screenplays, or perhaps I should say,
21:32I'm a playwright who's learned to write screenplays for Steven Spielberg.
21:35Hello.
21:37Hey, what's up?
21:38I've been thinking the real way to cement my legacy is for me to primary AOC.
21:45What do you think?
21:47Oh, um, yeah.
21:50Yeah.
21:51Totally.
21:52That sounds good.
21:52I guess we would have to get you a New York address first in the Bronx.
21:56That could be cool.
21:57We could hang out there.
21:57I heart New York.
21:58I would love to hang out in New York City a lot more.
22:00I would love that.
22:01I'd be good.
22:02Okay.
22:02That's it.
22:03What is wrong with you?
22:04Nothing.
22:05What are you talking about?
22:06You're not challenging me in your normal,
22:08well, haven't you ever considered Ava way?
22:11I'm just trying to be supportive.
22:12Well, I don't need a yes man.
22:14I need a no woman to ignore.
22:17Okay, well, fine.
22:21Uh, yeah, things got really dark in Singapore, and it was really scary seeing you that way.
22:26And now you're back, and you're motivated, and it's just nice to see you getting out of bed every day
22:30excited.
22:33Well, okay.
22:37But you know, I do, sometimes, need you to be honest with me.
22:45Okay, well...
22:46I don't think performing Tejano music is how you want to rewrite your legacy.
22:50Por que no?
22:53I just, I don't know that, like, trying to find some loophole to game the system in an obscure awards
22:59category is what you want to be remembered for, is it?
23:02Maybe.
23:03I mean, this non-compete could be a blessing in disguise.
23:06I could discover something new I'm brilliant at.
23:08My, my true calling.
23:10I mean, look at Woody Allen.
23:11He's, he's a gifted clarinetist doll.
23:13Woody Allen is not going to be remembered for playing the clarinet, or the movies, or the bucket hat.
23:18It's going to be the other thing, okay?
23:20And you are going to be remembered for comedy.
23:22Because you're a comedian.
23:25You said it yourself in your final monologue, remember?
23:27God, I don't remember what I said.
23:29I certainly haven't watched it.
23:31Yeah, well, maybe you should.
23:35Okay.
23:36What is the biggest achievement for a comedian?
23:40Beating a rape trail.
23:41Seriously?
23:43Hosting a late night show.
23:45Come on, anything else?
23:48Selling out Madison Square Garden.
23:51Okay.
23:52Great.
23:53But I can't do that.
23:56I can't perform.
23:58I know.
23:58And I don't know how to get around that.
24:01I don't know what to do.
24:02So you have a bump, but no pitch.
24:07Yeah, I'm sorry.
24:10Yeah, me too.
24:18I'm going to bed.
24:23Good night.
24:26Good night.
24:26Good night.
24:40And I…
24:42Hi.
24:50What?
24:59Eva!
25:01No results! Unbelievable!
25:03Yeah, they've taken down every late night clip!
25:05This is criminal!
25:07Hang on.
25:09Oh, shit.
25:10What?
25:13They took down my bad, too.
25:15What?
25:20Why would my special be gone?
25:22Because it's on their streamer.
25:24Bob Lipka controls that, too.
25:26They fucking scrubbed everything.
25:29Everything!
25:32Everything that we have worked on for the past five years is gone!
25:37They're not just rewriting me.
25:38They are erasing me!
25:40I'm so sorry.
25:43You know, the last time the press smeared me, I just let them.
25:47I leaned into it.
25:48But not this time.
25:49This time, I am writing my story.
25:51Because you're right.
25:52I am a comedian.
25:53And I'm doing comedy.
25:55And I'm doing it tomorrow night.
25:57Totally.
25:58Super support you.
25:59But how are you gonna-
26:00Call Jimmy!
26:01Manager!
26:01Being let go is a normal part of the business.
26:04I'm sure she'll be okay.
26:06Thank you, Warner.
26:06But again, I do want to revisit working on your boundaries with Goliath.
26:10Yes.
26:11I've been thinking about that a lot.
26:12And I am-
26:13Oh, shh, shh.
26:14You know what?
26:14Debra's calling.
26:15Same time next week?
26:16Great.
26:18Hey, Debra.
26:19Hi, hi, hi, hi.
26:20I hope it's not too late.
26:21No, no, this is great.
26:22I actually want to talk to you.
26:22I just figured it was too late for you.
26:25Are you ready for your close-up, Mr. Vance?
26:27What?
26:28I got you a part.
26:29Your Oscar is just one great performance, nomination, flawless campaign, and win away.
26:34No.
26:34I'm over that.
26:35Don't need an Oscar anymore.
26:37No.
26:37Yes, you do.
26:38You need it.
26:38You told me you needed it.
26:39And we-we-we-we recast somebody.
26:41We're putting you on the call sheet right now.
26:42Jimmy, I'm doing stand-up tomorrow.
26:44Oh, no.
26:45You're sundown in, darling.
26:47You cannot perform.
26:48No, I'm gonna do a secret show.
26:50We're gonna confiscate phones.
26:52Well, no venue's gonna agree to that.
26:54They don't have to.
26:56I know a guy.
26:59Password?
27:00Hermes Kelly 28 crock gold hardware.
27:07Follow me.
27:08I'm gonna just attack.
27:20Phones, please.
27:21If your babysitter calls, Damien here will handle it.
27:24And if you try to sneak in a device, you will be tamed.
27:27They are good.
27:28Follow me and watch yourself.
27:29We are not liable if you fall, ladies.
27:31Open any hard candy now.
27:33So help me God, if I hear a rustle, you're gone.
27:37Sit.
27:38Right this way.
27:39Front row.
27:39Best seat in the house.
27:40You do have to sit on the floor, though.
27:41Sorry about that.
27:42Did you get your mom yet?
27:43The Arboka movie is freaking out.
27:45All right.
27:45Let me try her again.
27:51I'm so sorry, everybody.
27:53I'm so sorry.
27:55Oh, it's my son calling.
27:56He's been trying to reach me.
27:58Hi, honey.
27:59What's going on?
27:59You know that we shoot until midnight every night.
28:01I know.
28:02I'm sorry.
28:02Just listen.
28:03I got you a role in the Fatty Arboka movie.
28:05Okay.
28:06Say more.
28:07Here's the only issue.
28:08We lose our location Saturday, so we have to shoot tomorrow.
28:10Can you be off book for eight pages by morning?
28:13Baby, are you kidding?
28:14I'm in soaps.
28:15I could be off book for Hamlet in 20 minutes.
28:17Oh, great.
28:18Okay.
28:19Oh, the show's starting.
28:20I gotta go.
28:21I'll text you.
28:21All right.
28:22Love ya.
28:23Okay.
28:23My mom is in.
28:24She's gonna do it.
28:26Debra!
28:28Debra!
28:29Debra!
28:31Debra!
28:32Debra!
28:33Debra!
28:35Debra!
28:36Debra!
28:37Debra!
28:44Debra!
28:45Debra!
28:50Debra!
28:57Oh, thank you.
29:01Here I am back from the dead.
29:07you know when a man does that he's the son of god when a woman does it she's held for
29:10questioning at
29:11lax the only other time i was mistaken for a corpse is when i let a straight man do my
29:18makeup
29:24you know when you're away from the spotlight
29:28you have time to think about what really matters the spotlight
29:51oh can i try the kitty cat
29:54oh that that is fierce stunning that stunning oh excuse me are you deborah vance yes i'm alive
30:02and you've been served
30:09bitch shit there's a video of you from the show online i can't believe bob's people found it so
30:14quickly looks like we're going to court ma'am we need that ring back so give it back when she's
30:19ready
30:47we've just learned the judge has ruled that due to comstar's investment in promoting deborah vance as
30:52the host of late night the clause barring her from performing is in fact enforceable a temporary
30:57restraining order will be put in place until a full trial can be set this is a huge loss for
31:02miss vance and her team we'll be covering okay okay give us some space please just stay back
31:10free speech is under attack in this country and today i have been told that i cannot so much as
31:15perform one single joke or i will go to jail but they can't censor me forever the moment my contract
31:23expires i will be speaking my truth in fact i'll be shouting it at my comeback show at the world's
31:30most famous arena madison square garden thank you excuse us guys excuse us please back it up
31:38back up give us some room thank you the garden yeah it's the ultimate win for a comedian if i
31:46sell it out
31:47i'll be one of only a handful who've ever done it and that will be my legacy you know for
31:52a woman who
31:52can't be on camera you just got a lot of airtime mm-hmm wait you leaked that video didn't you
31:59no i did
32:01that was a great pitch we gotta do it now somehow oh my god
32:08i ain't been lit no no no i ain't been lit no no no i ain't been lit no no
32:27no i ain't been lit
32:31tellin' for me i ain't been lit no no no no no no
32:39like god and know when my whole world fell apart
32:43till this day no one knows what i felt in my heart
32:48all those precious things inside they tried to steal
32:53hands i thought would help push me over the hill
32:57They keep on holding me down
32:58But I rise
33:00Yes, it can be done
33:02Keep on holding me down
33:03But I rise
33:05They can make me run
33:07Hold on me down
33:08But I rise
33:10Got my second wind
33:12Keep on holding me down
33:13But I rise
33:15Tell them I'm back again
33:17Just say
33:18I ain't been lit
33:20I ain't been lit, no, no
33:22I ain't been lit
33:27I ain't been lit
33:29Tell them to me
33:31I ain't been lit
33:34Oh, yeah
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