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00:00:07The End
00:02:01Hello, my friend.
00:02:03What's new in the world?
00:02:04Nothing.
00:02:05We've been in the woods hunting.
00:02:06And what with dog magic's helping us, it all went very well.
00:02:10Oh, there was some more irritating thing.
00:02:12We stumbled across some Romans in the woods.
00:02:15I brought home a souvenir.
00:02:18It suits him.
00:02:27Hey, careful you don't run into any Roman patrol out there and get it fixed.
00:02:31Have no fear.
00:02:32I'll watch out.
00:02:37Hail, gentle kill.
00:02:38Sabbath soul has returned.
00:02:46What do you mean coming back here with your uniforms in that state?
00:02:51General, we had a tough battle with two Gauls.
00:02:55Two Gauls who were reinforced by a giant dog?
00:02:58And two dead boys.
00:03:00Hmm.
00:03:02Which makes five altogether, so we were outnumbered.
00:03:07Attention!
00:03:09These Gauls get cheekier and more annoying every second.
00:03:13It's that magic potion of theirs that makes them unbeatable.
00:03:17If I could only lay my hands on one tiny sample of it!
00:03:21Sir!
00:03:23Request leaves to suggest that we capture the druid who makes it.
00:03:26And force him to make some for us.
00:03:28Yes, good thinking.
00:03:30Hmm.
00:03:30What a clever fellow you are.
00:03:32Subtlety doesn't achieve anything.
00:03:37Why aren't you gone yet?
00:03:39Bring the druid back dead!
00:03:41On alive!
00:03:43And don't come back if you fail!
00:03:47Druid capture party!
00:03:48About 10!
00:03:51Quick!
00:03:52Wait for it!
00:03:52Wait for it!
00:03:53Watch!
00:04:10Oh-ho!
00:04:12There, my beauty.
00:04:14Hmm.
00:04:15Hmm.
00:04:44Whoop!
00:04:47Oh, a daffodilic gallicus, unless I'm mistaken.
00:04:56Oh, we'll add the tiniest pinch to the potion.
00:05:02For extra flavor.
00:05:05Oh, a four-leaf clover.
00:05:10Well, well, well.
00:05:15Oh, good luck.
00:05:19Eh?
00:05:20What a glory of Roe!
00:05:29Get a bit!
00:05:30Roman!
00:05:32Go back for your love!
00:05:34Go, go, go, go!
00:06:02Oh, dear, oh, dear.
00:06:07Oh, bravo!
00:06:09Oh, well done!
00:06:10What's wrong?
00:06:12I chased them off, didn't I?
00:06:14Oh, yes, indeed.
00:06:15I'm sure Getapix is very grateful.
00:06:18Good.
00:06:38Might I suggest a bar or two of music?
00:06:46I promise you, it was only a teensy-weensy piece of rock.
00:06:50Quite everyone.
00:06:50He's coming round.
00:06:52Oh.
00:06:54Well...
00:06:55You feel a little better now, Getapix?
00:06:58I'm fine.
00:07:00Oh, pardon?
00:07:01But who are you, little one?
00:07:03I'm Asterix.
00:07:05You know me.
00:07:06I'm Asterix.
00:07:08Delighted.
00:07:17I'm so glad you're feeling well again.
00:07:39Oh, this path is enormous.
00:07:43Oh, this path is enormous.
00:07:48Who's enormous?
00:07:53Get to fix your thing.
00:07:55Come on, you know me.
00:07:56I'm sure I look familiar.
00:08:02He's lost his wits.
00:08:05Allow me to suit him with a song.
00:08:08Here we go, everybody.
00:08:10Hit it!
00:08:11Ha-ha-ha-ha!
00:08:13Ha-ha-ha-ha!
00:08:14Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
00:08:15Like a ball crashing thunder
00:08:18He said I'd buy a boulder
00:08:20Now he's so new, can't remember
00:08:22Stand tall!
00:08:23He's a sea star
00:08:241, 2, 3, 4, 2, I can do one
00:08:261, 2, 3, 2, I can do one
00:08:28So cold, crazy
00:08:31He's making me too hard
00:08:38Confusion in his mind
00:08:41He's stupid all the time
00:08:49He is out
00:08:52Like a puppy
00:08:54On the head was he
00:08:57But he
00:08:58He is not
00:09:01Consequent his memory
00:09:02So cold and cold
00:09:05He's not
00:09:09Oh, that's wicked
00:09:12That's seriously terrific
00:09:14Ma, ma
00:09:15Let's get him back to his house
00:09:17Hit it, baby
00:09:18Dig that crazy beach
00:09:19Ma
00:09:19You really like that song
00:09:22You must be
00:09:23Oh, unhappy
00:09:24You
00:09:25You
00:09:25You
00:09:25You
00:09:42Well, man
00:09:43Where's the druid?
00:09:45Well, we
00:09:46We almost got him
00:09:48What?
00:09:48But there was a good sound
00:09:49Military reason that he got away
00:09:51The superior strength of the enemy
00:09:55Well, how many?
00:09:57Truthfully
00:09:57Um
00:09:58Two
00:10:00But
00:10:01But
00:10:01They started throwing massive missiles
00:10:04All of which missed
00:10:06We're slacked
00:10:06They used their heads, these Gauls
00:10:08Yes
00:10:09Which is a lot more than I can say of these Romans
00:10:12How will I beat the Gauls?
00:10:14Eh?
00:10:17Hmm
00:10:17Hmm
00:10:17Hmm
00:10:18Hmm
00:10:19Hmm
00:10:20Hmm
00:10:25hmm
00:10:30Hmm
00:10:32Hmm
00:10:46Oh
00:10:57The sky's falling in on us. Everything's gone dark.
00:11:06Any better, Asterix.
00:11:09Nope, it's no better at all.
00:11:17Let him get a bit of sleep while we see the chief.
00:12:01Oh, come on, it's only a storm, even if it's a little violent.
00:12:05I shall appease the god of the thunderstorm with a sunny tune.
00:12:15It's pretty clear what the gods think of that prospect.
00:12:18Look, don't be afraid. It's only a lightning bolt. There's no harm done.
00:12:24Well.
00:12:39Oh, come on.
00:12:51Oh, come on.
00:13:16Vital statistics, why don't you invite the stranger to, um, take his wolfskin off and...
00:13:23Gone. They've all gone.
00:13:25Oh.
00:13:40Hello.
00:13:42Who are you?
00:13:44A traveller who is weary.
00:13:47Surprised by this terrible night, give me, I beg you, shelter from the storm until it has passed and the
00:13:55gods sleep.
00:13:57Good. My house is yours.
00:14:01Anything we can do, just say the word.
00:14:03You are our guest.
00:14:04What can we do to make you comfortable?
00:14:07I'm sure he's hungry for a start.
00:14:08Uh, there's some cold roast pour out in the kitchen. And goat's milk.
00:14:14Brilliant suggestion.
00:14:19What is your name, honoured guest?
00:14:23I am called Prolix.
00:14:31I knew that the storm would break.
00:14:35I knew I would be caught in it.
00:14:38Oh.
00:14:38I knew of the generous welcome that awaited me in your house.
00:14:43Oh.
00:14:43But may I just say, certain of your villagers have a strange way of sharing goat's milk and wild boar.
00:14:50But still, I knew this as well.
00:14:53Incredible.
00:14:54How could you have known that?
00:14:59Because I am a soothsayer.
00:15:01I'm a soothsayer.
00:15:05There is an unbeliever in my presence.
00:15:09The god of Kandal is displeased.
00:15:13It's this fool, of course. His singing's always annoying the gods.
00:15:17It doesn't...
00:15:17It doesn't...
00:15:18Excuse my villagers, noble soothsayer.
00:15:20They love a good quarrel.
00:15:24I know.
00:15:28Ah!
00:15:29Susie!
00:15:30Is the sky about to fall in on our heads?
00:15:35Give me the entrails of an animal to read and I'll tell you.
00:15:39Suppose you try the entrails of this roasted ball.
00:15:41Yes, I could have if you'd left anything to read.
00:15:45That dog, though.
00:15:47Yes, he looks promising.
00:15:49I'm quite proficient at reading, Godong.
00:15:53Anyone who dares touch dogmatics gets diffed into the middle of next week.
00:15:58Take care, soothsayer.
00:16:00Obelix's predictions have a habit of coming true.
00:16:03Too bad.
00:16:05Then you won't know whether the sky is going to fall on your heads or not.
00:16:09Wow.
00:16:10Why wouldn't a fish do?
00:16:12A fish.
00:16:13Couldn't you read one of my fish?
00:16:15Well, possibly.
00:16:16Yes?
00:16:25I call you Borbo, God of the Spring.
00:16:31And by Demona, Lady of the Autumn.
00:16:36Come, unbelievers here, I shall ignore.
00:16:41And we'll say that the sky will not fall in on your heads.
00:16:48And after the storm's gone, the sun will shine.
00:16:52Ah, my will, isn't that a relief?
00:16:54Oh, Greg.
00:16:55I also see a quarrel among you.
00:16:58Oh.
00:16:58Listen, if Detta thinks you're here, he'd prove this fellow's a fake in two seconds.
00:17:02It's ridiculous.
00:17:03Get everywhere.
00:17:03It is dangerous to gawk the gods.
00:17:05Tosh.
00:17:06But Asterix, the fish is speaking.
00:17:08Hmm.
00:17:08Ah, there's only one thing that fish can say for itself.
00:17:11And what's that, eh?
00:17:12Something I had here with my nose, not my ear.
00:17:15What are you trying to say?
00:17:17Well, you're not as fresh as you might be.
00:17:18That's libelous.
00:17:19I'll show you.
00:17:22Yeah.
00:17:23The prediction was not too fresh.
00:17:25I agree.
00:17:27Hey, now the soothsayer has read your fish to us, you better rebind him and stack him on
00:17:32the antique bookshelf.
00:17:34Oh, my God.
00:18:09Oh, my God.
00:18:34The sun is here.
00:18:36Now I must offer my talent to others.
00:18:38It is a far, far better thing I do, etc.
00:18:41Don't go, please.
00:18:42I beg you.
00:18:43Well, if you really want me to stay...
00:18:45Good things.
00:18:46I could be persuaded.
00:18:47Will you please try to stop behaving like idiots now?
00:18:49But he did predict the sun will come out again after the storm.
00:18:52And the fight.
00:18:53You must admit he did predict that.
00:18:55But you realise we enjoy a good fight now and again.
00:18:58Especially when your fish are mentioned.
00:19:00He's quite right.
00:19:01Don't blame the fish.
00:19:02Why not?
00:19:03It wouldn't happen if your fish didn't stink.
00:19:06Don't take this thing.
00:19:08No, no, Rachel.
00:19:09I'll be safe.
00:19:10Well, no, my God.
00:19:13Oh!
00:19:17Oh!
00:19:23Steve, hold on a minute.
00:19:24We have to look after Getterfix.
00:19:26He's still not well.
00:19:28Yes, that's right.
00:19:29I'd completely forgotten him in all this fun and excitement.
00:19:32Look!
00:19:34Have you thought of anything we could do to cure him?
00:19:37Cure himself if he wasn't so sick with a potion.
00:19:40A potion.
00:19:41We need more.
00:19:43Getterfix!
00:19:44Stop!
00:19:45Do you remember the formula for the magic potion?
00:19:47Magic's magic.
00:19:49What magic potion?
00:20:17Now, come on, Giddybits. Do try and understand.
00:20:21You've got to make us more potions so we can stand up to the Romans.
00:20:25Eh? Yes, yes, but who?
00:20:30Is this fellow Getterfix you keep on referring to?
00:20:34Time to explain. This is much more important. Make up some magic potion.
00:20:40Yes, certainly. I'll brew up a batch at once. A particular potion.
00:20:45Just make sure you have the right ingredients in the pot.
00:20:49Asterix, either he cuts the cackle, or druid or no druid,
00:20:53he'll end up as one of the ingredients in his own cord run.
00:20:56Think. Your rock injured him. That's why he's sick.
00:21:24Oh, I just love cooking.
00:21:28A pinch of this.
00:21:53He seems to be remembering the formula.
00:22:09What's that noise? What's that noise?
00:22:13Take cover. Take cover.
00:22:21Hey.
00:22:27Let's get out of it fast.
00:22:29You can't leave our tower. Help me carry him.
00:22:31Wait for us. Wait for us.
00:22:34Help me.
00:22:34Help me.
00:22:35Oh, my God.
00:23:09Oh, my God.
00:23:38Oh, my God.
00:23:48You hear those explosions, do you?
00:23:51The gods are annoyed at your booting a wandering soothsayer out.
00:23:55Oh, don't go.
00:23:57Please.
00:23:57What does the future have in store for me?
00:24:02There are those in your village who lack respect for me.
00:24:06The dwarf with the walrus mustache and the big round bully with scroples regarding his dog.
00:24:13Oh, they're barbarians. Don't let them bother you.
00:24:16If you would have those two thrown out, I would stay.
00:24:21Oh, no, I can't. Asterix and Obelix live here. Impossible.
00:24:26Oh.
00:24:29Well, then, if I were fed and cosseted, I could live in this glade, I suppose.
00:24:32Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
00:24:33And I'll see the Dastrix and Obelix don't set foot in the forest.
00:24:36I'll bring you berries and mumps and clear cool water.
00:24:39No, no, no, no, no. We soothsayers are simple folk committed to meditation.
00:24:44Just bring me some good things to read.
00:24:47Turkey, chicken, duck, boar and dry red wine.
00:24:50Do you really mean you can read wine?
00:24:52A good vintage is quite readable.
00:24:54I'll bring you a Hercruton XXV. Only tell me what's in store for me.
00:25:02Oh, the flight of the birds up there says...
00:25:08You will spread your wings, leaving the idiots in that village behind.
00:25:13But my husband's the chief.
00:25:14Hmm, your husband has a more important destiny.
00:25:18Perhaps my uncle, the successful Paris landlord, might take him on as his business partner.
00:25:23Exactly.
00:25:24You took the words right out of my mouth.
00:25:28Now I shall meditate a little while.
00:25:47By now I'd expected a boom.
00:25:49So perhaps he's got it right.
00:25:51I wish I were as optimistic as you are.
00:25:53Still, we have to test the magic potion.
00:25:55I volunteer. It's my fault our druid has gone mad.
00:25:58It's my duty as village chief to sacrifice myself.
00:26:03No, we can't risk you.
00:26:04What's needed is a Roman soldier nobody will worry about.
00:26:20And what are you up to?
00:26:22We're hunting the Roman.
00:26:24And if we meet a wild boar, that's fine with me too.
00:26:29But all the Romans have been confined to barracks.
00:26:32And so why don't you come back to my house for a wild boar surprise lunch?
00:26:36Thank you, but no, thank you.
00:26:38But I absolutely insist you won't turn down a delicious coronet to roast boar or balix, eh?
00:26:44Well, it is tempting, I admit.
00:26:46But albalix.
00:26:47Asterix, you refuse your chief's wife's invitation?
00:26:51No, but...
00:26:51It's settled then.
00:27:11What is it, crisis?
00:27:13The patrol has returned, sir.
00:27:15All right, proceed.
00:27:30There are threatening noises coming out of the village.
00:27:33Not to mention flying puns, General.
00:27:35Let me think.
00:27:37It's another subtle ploy to humiliate us.
00:27:41This is against the rules of war.
00:27:44Quite.
00:27:45If no one fights with cooking pots, what is it they're really planning?
00:27:50Suppose I just stay in here, then their plan couldn't possibly work.
00:27:54Someone get that imbecile out.
00:27:57Each volunteer to spy out what the Gaul's intentions are.
00:28:00No, no, I couldn't volunteer.
00:28:02Leave me alone.
00:28:03I'd like you to be here.
00:28:05Out of there at once.
00:28:07No.
00:28:08Are you a man or a...
00:28:09No.
00:28:12Then I order you to be boiled alive in that pot.
00:28:15Rules of war, General.
00:28:16They're suspended.
00:28:21It's not fair.
00:28:41Well, are you ready to volunteer yet?
00:28:43I really think you ought to stir him or he'll stick to the bottom.
00:28:47All right, I want to see him.
00:28:49You win.
00:28:52A Roman legionary, without his dignity, is not a...
00:28:56General!
00:28:57Help!
00:28:58Ooh!
00:29:00Ooh!
00:29:06Oh, Piggy-Wiggy, we have guests for lunch.
00:29:09Piggy-Wiggy?
00:29:10You haven't called me that since the morning after our wedding.
00:29:13Piggy-Wiggy.
00:29:14I haven't kept the spark glowing, but all that'll change.
00:29:21Piggy-Wiggy!
00:29:22Oh, God!
00:29:24Offer us ends a beer while I finish the lunch.
00:29:27Piggy-Wig.
00:29:37Piggy-Wiggy!
00:29:38No!
00:29:38No, no, not Piggy-Wiggy!
00:29:39I mean, no, not Piggy-Wiggy!
00:29:41I mean, no, not Piggy-Wiggy!
00:29:42You think you're very funny.
00:29:44No!
00:29:46Why you invited these two barbarians, I don't know.
00:29:49Because they're the two best fighters in the village.
00:29:52Piggy-wee-gee.
00:29:55With the wizards sick, the Romans could attack any time.
00:29:58Piggy!
00:29:59They don't seem too interested in fighting much now.
00:30:01Maybe not, but we are short of potion.
00:30:04We've got to be careful, so these two should guard the village and not go into the forest.
00:30:08Hold on.
00:30:09Piggy-wee-gee.
00:30:14All right, you've had your laugh.
00:30:16You'll stay in the village with the wizard.
00:30:19You won't set foot in the forest, and that's an order.
00:30:22Well done, Piggy.
00:30:24Hi.
00:30:29Never volunteer, that's what they say.
00:30:32Never volunteer.
00:30:33Finding your roots is one thing.
00:30:36But this is ridiculous.
00:30:48No one can see me, no one can see me, no one can see me.
00:30:59Who is there?
00:31:06Don't get me away.
00:31:15I mean it.
00:31:29I'm here.
00:31:31I'm here.
00:31:36I'm here.
00:31:58There you are.
00:31:59I just brought you a nice roast chicken to read my future in.
00:32:03Oh, how silly.
00:32:05Its entrails are gone.
00:32:06It's useless.
00:32:07No, not at all.
00:32:07I can read stuffing quite fluently.
00:32:10Oh, yes, I see you in diamonds and pearls, living in the most beautiful house in the city.
00:32:15Oh, you'll have dinner with the royal heir.
00:32:40Impedimenta?
00:32:41What are you doing here, Impedimenta?
00:32:44Oh, just innocently gathering mushrooms.
00:32:48Oh, not very successfully, though, by the look of it.
00:32:51Your basket's empty.
00:32:52Well, hmm.
00:32:54Oh, fiddlesticks, help me keep a secret.
00:32:57All right.
00:32:58The soothsayer stayed.
00:32:59He's just down the path.
00:33:01He's feeding a chicken right now.
00:33:03Oh, but don't tell anyone I've told you.
00:33:33Aurespost.
00:33:36Oh, no.
00:33:37Oh, well, we're doing Lascellas ago.
00:33:37I sent aührer to탈.
00:33:41Oh, yes.
00:33:43I forgot where it came to your head.
00:33:45Oh, yes.
00:33:45Oh, yes.
00:33:50Oh, yes, I can't keep moving.
00:33:52Let's try it again.
00:33:52Oh, yes, there's a new 여기.
00:33:57It's out, yes.
00:34:03It's a pattern in a dream, it gives you the dream, and you swap some new strollers.
00:34:11How do you people these goals?
00:34:22Uh-oh.
00:34:33Go away. Go on.
00:34:46Hey.
00:34:48Mmm.
00:34:54No!
00:34:57Well, well, Asterix. This is the first time we've seen Romans crawl out of the woodwork.
00:35:02Oh!
00:35:16I'm sorry they made me do it.
00:35:18Don't worry, we won't hurt you. In fact, we'll let you taste the soup.
00:35:22The soup?
00:35:23Mmm, the soup.
00:35:39Is it meant to do this?
00:35:47Have courage, Roman. We're still at the test stage.
00:35:50We'll fix it.
00:35:51Open wide.
00:35:59I'm not sure.
00:36:03I don't know.
00:36:03We won't.
00:36:04We'll be back.
00:36:11I don't know.
00:36:16What the hell?
00:36:16Come on, we'll be back!
00:36:16Come on, get up!
00:36:17Come on, get up!
00:36:18Give up, give up, give up!
00:36:22You can't wait!
00:36:23You can't wait!
00:36:25Waahehehehehheh.
00:36:27Ha ha ha!
00:37:08Oh, my God.
00:37:34Oh, my God.
00:37:58Oh, my God.
00:38:24Oh, my God.
00:38:25Oh, my God.
00:38:30I've got you.
00:38:30It's all right.
00:38:31Don't panic.
00:38:32Don't panic.
00:38:33Both hands now.
00:38:39Oh, my God.
00:38:41Oh, my God.
00:38:41Come on.
00:38:43Oh, my God.
00:38:48Oh, my God.
00:38:53Oh, my God.
00:38:59Oh, my God.
00:39:03Oh, my God.
00:39:10Oh, my God.
00:39:17Oh, my God.
00:39:43Ah, ah, ah.
00:40:04Ah, ah, ah.
00:40:07Ah, ah.
00:40:09Ah, ah.
00:40:13Bye-bye.
00:40:16Ah, ah, ah.
00:40:26Oh, you feel all right again, Roman?
00:40:30Yes.
00:40:32I feel fine.
00:40:34A bit lightheaded.
00:40:36Very lightheaded.
00:40:41Help me!
00:40:43Hey, hey, hey.
00:41:18Hey, excuse me.
00:41:21Oh, who flies there?
00:41:22Don't ask silly questions.
00:41:23Go and find your robe, quick.
00:41:34General Chaos, Art Deco is returned.
00:41:37Well, where is she?
00:41:38And why are you holding that line?
00:41:40You probably won't believe this, General.
00:41:44There's a soldier on that rug.
00:41:46Get down at once.
00:41:47Much as I'd like to.
00:41:48I've got no control.
00:41:49I'm a flag flapping in the wind.
00:41:52Hold this flapping flag down.
00:42:00Oh, just get on with it.
00:42:03The druid is experimenting with a new potion
00:42:05and won't stop laughing like a lunatic.
00:42:08Really?
00:42:09You're dismissed.
00:42:13What are these cunning gauls up to?
00:42:16Take a platoon and find out what's going on in that village.
00:42:22What we need is another Roman.
00:42:25Hmm.
00:42:50Something very strange is happening around here.
00:42:54What's happening is that they're having fun in the forest
00:42:57and I'm bored to death, confined to the village
00:42:59with nothing whatever to do.
00:43:07Hey, chief!
00:43:14What is going on in the forest?
00:43:17Obelix, guard Getifics.
00:43:20What's going on in the forest?
00:43:47Okay.
00:43:50Anyone who?
00:43:54Where is he?
00:43:57Where's who?
00:43:58You frightened him away, and your chief told you not to come into the forest.
00:44:02The Susseo warned me you disobey his orders.
00:44:06Great disaster will befall us all.
00:44:08What are you talking about? Wait, impedimenta.
00:44:11Susseo has gone. This fortune will rain down on us now.
00:44:15Asterix has chased him away.
00:44:19All hail, General Chaos.
00:44:21Stop shouting. Just report.
00:44:24Proceeding on patrol to the village as we was ordered,
00:44:26we came across an extremely suspicious individual,
00:44:30stuffing himself silly in the forest clearing.
00:44:32His explanation was highly unsatisfactory, sir.
00:44:37Why, Jupiter is a gall.
00:44:40Why would you be such a fool?
00:45:10Now, my dear man,
00:45:11a man to serve.
00:45:13And I knew I would encounter this very day one who is worthy.
00:45:20Strong and generous.
00:45:22I will forget the ruffians who treated me with rather less respect than they should.
00:45:27But then, I knew of this in advance.
00:45:32Did you now?
00:45:34And how may a humble general ask?
00:45:36I'm, I'm, I'm an itinerant soothsayer.
00:45:40Is that right?
00:45:43Of a genuine gallic variety?
00:45:46Oh, yes.
00:45:47Oh, for example, my augury's telepromotion.
00:45:52You, General, will achieve great deeds.
00:45:56Do they include victory against the invincible Gauls?
00:46:00Guaranteed.
00:46:00A man's a riot.
00:46:03But you're out of luck, soothsayer.
00:46:05We've had orders from Rome telling us to rascaling soothsayers.
00:46:09Oh, well?
00:46:10In that case, let me admit I'm not really a soothsayer,
00:46:13that I was simply having a little fun.
00:46:16What a ridiculous idea.
00:46:18You didn't believe that nonsense?
00:46:20Actually, I'm a lovable old rascal.
00:46:22A fake who takes advantage of people.
00:46:25But she's better than working for the living.
00:46:27You must have better things to do than arresting me.
00:46:30But you just told me I'd be promoted and achieve great deeds.
00:46:34Yes, so I did.
00:46:36Well, obviously, I must have made up anything so absurd.
00:46:39That makes good sense.
00:46:40When I want your opinion, I'll tell you what it is.
00:46:43Now, my friend, here's what I'll do.
00:46:46I'll give you a test.
00:46:51That will tell me the truth about you.
00:46:56Heads or tails?
00:46:57Oh, well, one or neither.
00:47:23You're right.
00:47:24Right. As soon as he mentioned promotion and great deeds, it was clear he was genuine.
00:47:31Oh, no, no. If I were a real soothsayer, wouldn't I have known how the coin had fallen? I'd have
00:47:37predicted either heads or tails. Well...
00:47:41Try him in chains. He's under arrest.
00:47:44This isn't fair. I'm a crook, a cheat, an imposter, a liar. I flatter the villagers and they believe the
00:47:51silly lies I invent because they're childish and naive.
00:47:54They believe everything I tell them. So may I go? Please?
00:48:00So let us be clear. Are you saying that the Gauls believe anything you tell them?
00:48:07Oh, yes. Anything I say.
00:48:14You have been both foolish and irresponsible about this matter, Asterix. It's very dangerous to anger a soothsayer.
00:48:21He is an imposter who lived off your food to make himself fat.
00:48:24He's probably gone off to find other people as stupid as you.
00:48:29I don't think he is an imposter. All the things he said were right.
00:48:33Oh, come on. You cannot be serious.
00:48:36And why not? I'm on her side.
00:48:40Oh, God, what are we going to do? We don't. It's the end.
00:48:45There, there.
00:48:47Asterix.
00:48:48Hmm?
00:48:48You are wrong.
00:48:49Mm-mm.
00:48:50Never mind, my little addict.
00:48:57Oh, my gosh.
00:49:00Look there.
00:49:01He's returned.
00:49:03The soothsayer has returned.
00:49:07Yes, it is I.
00:49:12I've returned to you to spell out the awful fate coming to you.
00:49:22All you see, the gods have said, shall be destroyed.
00:49:27The air you breathe shall be unbearably contaminated by the sulfurs of hell.
00:49:35The gods, not I, reach out to stifle your voices, to turn your faces pale, your limbs to water.
00:49:46Flee!
00:49:48Flee to safety, for that's your only hope.
00:49:53Never say that the gods didn't warn you.
00:49:57I'm acting as their messenger to you.
00:50:11I don't want to spend another minute in this village.
00:50:14Let's go to Paris at once, piggy-wiggy.
00:50:17You're mad.
00:50:18You're not going to abandon our village on account of this charlatan?
00:50:21I don't think we can withstand the will of determined gods.
00:50:24I suggest we go to the island of Tex-Harbon, just off the coast.
00:50:28But piggy-wiggy, why not Paris instead?
00:50:29And when the gods get over their annoyance, we'll come home again.
00:50:33Asterix, what do you say?
00:50:41Nope, I'm staying.
00:50:43Now to the beach and away to Tex-Harbon.
00:51:08Love has come to the war.
00:51:17Obelix, you've decided to...
00:51:20Well...
00:51:22Oh?
00:51:25Ah!
00:51:27All right.
00:51:29I'll stay.
00:51:31May the gods bless them and all who sail in them.
00:51:55The Romans could attack at any moment now.
00:52:01We three had better hide.
00:52:05No, never mind.
00:52:24Trying to make me move...
00:52:24No, never mind.
00:52:25We are now with old people.
00:52:25Let me see you.
00:52:25Please.
00:52:42General Chaos, the mission's been accomplished as I predicted.
00:52:46That doesn't surprise me.
00:52:48The idea of soothsaying is to be accurate in your prediction.
00:52:52I'll throw him in jail.
00:52:53But you promised me my freedom, General.
00:52:56Not so fast.
00:52:58I'll talk about that after I occupy the deserted village.
00:53:02I knew it'd be like this.
00:53:05Indeed.
00:53:07No, that wasn't what I meant.
00:53:09In fact, it's a total surprise to me.
00:53:11I told you I'm a liar.
00:53:12Yes, yes.
00:53:13It's true.
00:53:14I'm in a real mess.
00:53:27Look.
00:53:28The soothsayer is leading the Romans into our village.
00:53:32The soothsayer's in league with the Romans.
00:53:35Now it's quite clear.
00:53:45We're not going to let them stay in our village.
00:53:47The three of us will throw you out.
00:53:49Down, Obelix.
00:53:50It's too dangerous.
00:53:52I'm out of magic potion.
00:53:53We'll stay here.
00:53:55The only thing we can do is hope against hope for a miracle.
00:54:19Empty, deserted, uninhabited, all free, General.
00:54:38Here.
00:54:43You will run to Rome, bearing this message to Caesar.
00:54:49You will say, the whole of Gaul is occupied.
00:54:55Caesar will say, all of it.
00:54:58You will reply to him, all of it.
00:55:05Caesar will understand.
00:55:19Legionaries, dismiss!
00:55:24To quote our great Caesar.
00:55:29I came to Gaul.
00:55:31I saw it.
00:55:34Now it's all mine.
00:55:38Bravo.
00:55:39You're very good at the soothsaying, my friend.
00:55:41So I chuck him into prison then, do I, General?
00:55:43Not yet.
00:55:44Why?
00:55:44You're sure to be promoted now, and he did predict that.
00:55:47But, but, that was just smooth talk.
00:55:49What do I know?
00:55:50What do I know?
00:55:51What are you saying?
00:55:52The gods haven't suddenly decided to play an unpleasant trick.
00:55:55Why are you asking me?
00:55:57Because you know.
00:55:58But I keep telling you I'm a second-rate fake and liar.
00:56:01Don't lie, or you'll be opened up so you can read the future in your own miserable intestines.
00:56:06The man's mad.
00:56:08Right.
00:56:10Yes, you'll get a promotion soon.
00:56:12Right, off the prison.
00:56:13Hold your chariots.
00:56:14A tame soothsayer might have his uses.
00:56:18Yes, well, I think orders is still orders, so that leaves only one thing a noble Roman can do.
00:56:23And that's arrest him.
00:56:25But it's not fair.
00:56:25Let me prove to you I really can't predict a thing.
00:56:29The foul air.
00:56:30Didn't I predict that?
00:56:39It does seem your second side predicted it accurately, not exactly eau de cologne.
00:56:46Smell it?
00:56:47No.
00:56:48What odor is that?
00:56:50Try it.
00:56:51You predicted just such an odor.
00:56:54What odor?
00:56:56Oh, General Chaos.
00:56:58The air is unbreathable out of doors.
00:57:01It's disgusting.
00:57:03It's...
00:57:04I call it pestilential crisis.
00:57:08Oh.
00:57:13Incredible.
00:57:15You are quite incredible, soothsayer.
00:57:18Your power is amazing.
00:57:20This is the end.
00:57:22But I swear I'm as mystified as everyone.
00:57:24I'm completely innocent.
00:57:27Wow.
00:57:28I've nothing to reproach myself for.
00:57:30I've told him I'm lying.
00:57:34If he believes me, it's his fault and not mine.
00:57:43If I start frightening myself, I'll be forced to get work.
00:57:53Trumpeter, sound the evacuation of the place and waltz him and all joke.
00:58:05Oh.
00:58:09Harry.
00:58:13It works.
00:58:15It works.
00:58:17Wee-haw.
00:58:31Asterix!
00:58:32Obelix!
00:58:34Asterix!
00:59:01Asterix!
00:59:10This is all my fault.
00:59:18All this has happened because I threw one rock.
00:59:24So...
00:59:26That could just be the answer.
01:00:13Asterix!
01:00:14Oh, Asterix!
01:00:15Asterix!
01:00:18Hmm?
01:00:21Asterix!
01:00:22Asterix?
01:00:23You call me Asterix?
01:00:27Get her fixed!
01:00:29You're cured!
01:00:30Ah!
01:00:42Obelix!
01:00:42Did you hurl that rock at him?
01:00:45Of course. I was trying to cure him.
01:00:47It might be unusual treatment,
01:00:49but it might work.
01:00:52Would you mind finishing your argument
01:00:55after you've got me out from under this rock?
01:00:58Oh, thank God for that.
01:01:00I'm really still sane.
01:01:04What do you mean still?
01:01:05Will?
01:01:06I managed to restore him with my little rock.
01:01:23Hmm.
01:01:26How much longer are we staying in this place?
01:01:29Asterix!
01:01:29Quiet!
01:01:29You stupid lazy piglet!
01:01:31I could have been embarrassed as the suit-sayer said.
01:01:34Please be patient.
01:01:36We'll return to the village just as soon as the gods calm down.
01:01:40As long as I stay here, how will I get my jewels?
01:01:43Yes, he's right!
01:01:44Quiet!
01:01:47If Get-A-Fix were on the island,
01:01:49he'd end the quarrelling in two minutes.
01:01:54Me too.
01:02:01Stop the training!
01:02:05That's better.
01:02:24Get himself!
01:02:38Father,
01:02:46I feel better back here.
01:02:49What?
01:02:50Even though we had to withdraw from a village we conquered?
01:02:53The good soothsayer's predictions were so accurate the Gauls are gone.
01:02:57He's a brilliant predictor.
01:02:59In that case, can I put him in jail?
01:03:00No, you can't.
01:03:05General, begging your pardon, sir, but I'm not all together with what's going on.
01:03:10You never are.
01:03:11That's why I'm a general and you are practically nobody.
01:03:17Come with me.
01:03:18We have important things to discuss.
01:03:25Yeah?
01:03:26Says who?
01:03:29You proved yourself.
01:03:31You're an unrivaled soothsayer.
01:03:34You foretold there'd be a huge stink and lo, there was.
01:03:37Well, not a lot of point in fighting it, I suppose, if he says I am what I am.
01:03:41You should be put under arrest.
01:03:43I'm a fake, I'm a fake.
01:03:45But a soothsayer is not without you, sir.
01:03:47I'm not a fake.
01:03:48With the benefit of your advice and accurate prediction.
01:03:51Well, he's got a hope.
01:03:52I could well go far.
01:03:54It's tempting.
01:03:55Perhaps to the dizzy heights.
01:03:58Of Caesar.
01:03:59I'll take lessons.
01:04:01I would be a general, Caesar.
01:04:06Well, now, you just made up my mind.
01:04:11Mind you don't deceive our royal person.
01:04:16Oh, we shall tear you apart.
01:04:19No!
01:04:21Let us recline.
01:04:22And wide away an hour.
01:04:25With what lies in store.
01:04:27But I have already been through that at least twice and it's boring.
01:04:30I've said Jupiter will protect you, this promotion in the air, and there are great...
01:04:33Not that!
01:04:34What will things be like when we are Caesar?
01:04:39Tell us all.
01:04:41Well, you'll be very powerful and extremely powerful.
01:04:44Come to the main point.
01:04:46Cleopatra.
01:04:47He won't be a problem.
01:04:48The Queen of Egypt, fool!
01:04:50Of course, you mean Cleopatra.
01:04:51Of course, Cleopatra.
01:04:52You mean the Queen.
01:04:53That Cleopatra.
01:04:54Yes, well, she'll fall madly in love with you, obviously.
01:04:58Soothsayer.
01:05:06You called?
01:05:07I'm here...
01:05:08Yes.
01:05:09...with a surprise.
01:05:10Really?
01:05:10What?
01:05:11You've won this week's valuable prize.
01:05:14What prize?
01:05:15What have I won?
01:05:16The mystery prize.
01:05:17Mystery prize?
01:05:18What?
01:05:18Tell me.
01:05:19Why don't you go ahead and predict it?
01:05:21Ah, yes, well, let's see.
01:05:23The latest imported two-wheel drive chariot.
01:05:26A weekend for two in Rome with all expenses paid and tickets for the Coliseum.
01:05:29A luxury tent by the sea.
01:05:32A free course in cookery and advanced suits.
01:05:34I say, well, tell me, tell me!
01:05:36No, you tell us, soothsayer.
01:05:37I've told you I'm a fake!
01:05:41What's that commotion?
01:05:42Stop asking me questions!
01:05:45Ghouls!
01:05:46Ghouls!
01:05:48But the walls are right outside and you didn't even know!
01:05:51But how was I supposed to know, mighty Caesar?
01:05:55Leave him to me!
01:05:57Ah!
01:06:00So you didn't know we were here?
01:06:02And what about Ida Paris and partnership with my successful uncle?
01:06:08Hurray!
01:06:09Bravo, madame!
01:06:11Yes, indeed, bravo!
01:06:14Oh, no!
01:06:15No!
01:06:17Ah!
01:06:27Oh, no!
01:06:31Ah!
01:06:36Ha-ha-ha-ha!
01:06:38Ah!
01:06:39Huh?
01:06:40Huh?
01:06:40Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!
01:06:42Oh
01:07:12Oh
01:08:02Oh
01:08:30Time to go I think
01:08:32Charge
01:08:36Run
01:08:38Good strategy
01:08:42By the way
01:08:44I'm General Chaos
01:08:45Delighted
01:08:46By the way
01:09:16I'm General Chaos
01:09:34Left
01:09:35Left
01:09:36Left
01:09:37Right
01:09:38Left
01:09:38Left
01:09:39Left
01:09:40Right
01:09:41Left
01:09:42Left
01:09:42Left
01:09:42Left
01:09:42Left
01:09:42Left
01:09:42Left
01:09:43Left
01:09:43Left
01:09:43Left
01:09:43Left
01:09:43Left
01:09:44Left
01:09:50Left
01:09:51Left
01:09:51Right
01:09:51Left
01:09:51Left
01:09:56Left
01:09:57Left
01:09:59Left
01:10:00Left
01:10:00This guy's getting away.
01:10:32...reporting for sooth's sake.
01:10:33Mm-hmm.
01:10:46Julius Caesar commanded me to come and verify that you really had some duties, invincible goals, and I now have
01:10:54the answer.
01:10:57The answer is that the ghouls have run rings round you.
01:11:05Well, I think we've won.
01:11:07All right, back to the village again.
01:11:17It's not my fault.
01:11:19The fake soothsayer told us that we...
01:11:21Be quiet, daughter, mount it forthwith.
01:11:23You're reduced to the ranks.
01:11:24Understood.
01:11:26No hard feelings.
01:11:37So a promotion's in the air, is it?
01:11:40Throw the shallots in jail immediately, crisis!
01:11:47I don't take orders from a non-ranking legionary.
01:11:53This camp is an utter shambles, and I want it cleaned now.
01:11:58And you say, sir, when addressing a superior officer.
01:12:04Move along, move along.
01:12:06Move along, move along.
01:12:06Out!
01:12:07Crisis rules here now, and not chaos.
01:12:18I'm not going to say any more sooths.
01:12:20I'm not going to say any more sooths.
01:12:38I'm not going to say any more sooths.
01:12:50No!
01:12:57Uh!
01:12:59Oh!
01:12:59Now we're away.
01:13:03No!
01:13:05Oh!
01:13:06Oh!
01:13:11Now he's stoned and can't remember
01:13:14He just sees stars
01:13:20Stone cold, crazy
01:13:22His brain's been hit too hard
01:13:30Confusion in his mind
01:13:32He's stupid all the time
01:13:41He is that
01:13:43Kind of complete
01:13:45On the head was he
01:13:49He is the one
01:13:52When his memory
01:13:54Kind of complete
01:13:57He is the one
01:13:58Oh, my God!
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