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00:01So guys, David will be with us shortly.
00:04Great, Gabriella, thanks.
00:05Sir David.
00:05Sir David, exactly. He's arriving.
00:07Right.
00:07Great man.
00:08Monday morning, at the headquarters of the 2026 oversight team in Miami.
00:12Okay, so he's here.
00:13Right.
00:21Yeah, er...
00:22Great.
00:24When you say he's here...
00:25His name is here.
00:26Okay, well that's something I guess.
00:28Yes.
00:28It's a big name.
00:30In the meeting room, a very special virtual meeting is nearly about to happen.
00:34I am going to log out and log back in again.
00:35Right.
00:36Yeah, so you're sure that's actually going to help?
00:37So I'm doing it, yes?
00:38Yeah.
00:39I am doing it.
00:39Right.
00:40Okay.
00:40This week sees the traditional unveiling of Sir David Beckham as F***er's official ambassador
00:45and talisman for the 2026 tournament.
00:48And this morning, they're about to be joined by the great man himself, and his US agent
00:53manager and mouthpiece, Amy Huffman.
00:55So they're here now.
00:56They're coming.
00:56He's here.
00:59Hey guys.
01:00Yes, hi.
01:01Hey Gabrielle, great to see you as always.
01:04Exactly, yes.
01:04Good to see you too, Amy.
01:06Hey David.
01:07Hey Amy.
01:07How are you?
01:08I'm good, yeah, I'm good.
01:10Great.
01:11So I believe we're not actually seeing you at the moment.
01:14Oh, okay.
01:15No, we're not.
01:15No.
01:16Do you have your camera turned on?
01:18Yeah, yeah, I think so.
01:19Uh, yeah, I have.
01:20Okay.
01:21Um.
01:22I can see you guys.
01:23Okay.
01:23Oh.
01:24Uh.
01:25Hello, David.
01:26Hello, David.
01:27Yeah, really good to meet everybody.
01:29Right, so.
01:29Yeah, hi David, good to see you.
01:31Right.
01:31Oh, what, so you can't see me now?
01:33What?
01:34No.
01:34No, we're still not seeing you, David.
01:36No.
01:37No, I'm just saying, you know, it's good to see you.
01:39Yeah, what?
01:39So David, so I am going to log out and log back in again.
01:42Yeah.
01:43Really?
01:43Sorry, guys, I'm a bit confused about what's happening now.
01:46Yeah, so, hi David, welcome to our world.
01:49So, according to their own estimate, okay, the 2026 World Cup is going to put 3.7 million tons of
01:57carbon into the atmosphere.
01:58That is the equivalent of 10 major rainforests.
02:01Like, we only have nine left.
02:04Plus, with climate change, we know, all of this shit affects women more than men, right?
02:09Always.
02:10For all the reasons we know.
02:11It's like, thanks guys, good job, great work.
02:14And it is on all of us, right?
02:17To call this shit out.
02:20Call this shit out.
02:23Okay, so.
02:24Okay.
02:25Right now, they're at 3 million subscribers.
02:28Okay, 3 million.
02:28But that's growing every week.
02:30Right.
02:30It's like hashtag call this shit out, right?
02:32Right.
02:33Call this shit out.
02:34Like you probably never heard of it, right?
02:36Well, you know.
02:36Right, like you probably really should.
02:38Right, absolutely.
02:39Meanwhile, VP Sustainability and Climate Strategy Sarah Campbell is in the social media space where she's been alerted to a
02:46potential thing by social media team thought leader Madison Flynn.
02:50So, Alicia Bird.
02:51So, they're based here in Miami.
02:53Oh.
02:53Right.
02:54Okay.
02:55So, she's like an activist, right?
02:57I mean.
02:57Okay, so it's they.
02:58Okay.
02:59Excuse me?
03:00Alicia's non-binary.
03:01Oh.
03:01Okay.
03:02Right.
03:02Forgive me.
03:03So, they activate about...
03:06Like there's a lot of environmental stuff.
03:08Right.
03:08Obviously.
03:08But it's pretty much anything, right?
03:10Okay.
03:10It's like there is so much shit in the world.
03:12It's everywhere.
03:14Like it's literally all around us.
03:15Absolutely.
03:16It's like call this shit out.
03:17Like they've totally hit a vibe here.
03:19Billie Eilish has started following her.
03:21Okay.
03:21Reposting whatever plus a bunch of other people.
03:23Right.
03:24Following them.
03:24Excuse me?
03:25Billie Eilish has started following them.
03:27Yeah, they've totally hit a vibe right here.
03:29Right.
03:30This is a thing, right?
03:31Yes.
03:31It's out there.
03:32Absolutely.
03:32And now you know about it, right?
03:33Absolutely.
03:34Yes.
03:34Right.
03:35So look, I don't want to speak on David's behalf here, but you guys should know, right?
03:39We are so excited to be working with FIPA again, Eric.
03:42Exactly so.
03:43Honestly, this is so great.
03:45Oh, absolutely.
03:46Yeah, 100%.
03:47Sure.
03:47Yeah, no, look, what can I say?
03:48It's a privilege.
03:50Well, you say that, David, it's a privilege for us, right?
03:52Well, yes, exactly.
03:53Without a doubt.
03:54So that's all good.
03:55So look, it's great to see you.
03:56Not literally on this occasion, sadly.
03:58Back in the meeting room, with the David Beckham experience coming to a close, it's time for
04:03everybody to wave at each other like children and say goodbye.
04:06Bye to David.
04:07Bye-bye to David.
04:08Bye, guys.
04:08Take care.
04:11Okay, well, are they gone?
04:12Sure.
04:12Good, just checking.
04:13So that seemed to go okay in the end.
04:15Sure.
04:15You're right.
04:16What a guy, eh?
04:17Yeah, so anyway, Gabriella, if you could send the draft schedule for Thursday over to David
04:21and to Amy.
04:22Okay, so I have to send that.
04:23Great.
04:23And to Zurich as well, Eric?
04:25Of course.
04:25Zurich.
04:26Just for feedback, in case they have any ahead of Thursday.
04:28Exactly.
04:28Okay.
04:29I mean, just as a courtesy, really, Eric.
04:31Exactly, sir.
04:32Okay, good.
04:33So...
04:33What kind of feedback?
04:34So we can say the president is a man for detail, as we know.
04:38Well, yes.
04:39Yeah, right.
04:39We know he's been thinking a lot about David, for instance.
04:42Right.
04:43Huh.
04:43About David?
04:44For example, yes.
04:46Okay.
04:46What do you mean, thinking about David?
04:48Yes.
04:48We're all thinking about David.
04:49Well, exactly.
04:50Yes.
04:50Yeah, so what does that mean, then, thinking about David?
04:52Well, exactly.
04:53What should it mean?
04:54Should it mean someone like Megan Rapinoe instead, perhaps, for example?
04:59Right.
05:00Okay.
05:00Well, there you go.
05:02Megan Rapinoe.
05:02As I say, this is just an idea.
05:04Huh.
05:04Well, but hang on.
05:05You're kidding.
05:06Oh, my God.
05:07Megan Rapinoe.
05:08You're not serious.
05:09Again...
05:09You mean instead of David?
05:10Dios mio.
05:10Again, this is just an example.
05:12Well, yes, but I mean...
05:13Megan Rapinoe is not just an example.
05:15What?
05:15Megan Rapinoe is a genius, right?
05:17Yeah.
05:17What?
05:20Oh, I can't even cry.
05:24Meanwhile, with the meeting now threatening to go on longer than originally scheduled,
05:29Executive Assistant Will Humphreys is already hard at work in the kitchen in a bid to get
05:33ahead of the game with his caffeine duties.
05:35You need help?
05:36Yeah.
05:36No, yeah, no, yeah.
05:37So, do you like nowhere the new coffee pods are?
05:39Sure.
05:41And at the same time, fellow Executive Assistant Emily Nash is on a similar mission all of
05:46her own.
05:59I'm sorry, guys.
06:00I'm sorry, Eric.
06:01But for me, this is Paul thinking we're in a great position with David.
06:04Okay, so...
06:05The guy's a legend on and off the pitch.
06:06One of the finest dead ball kickers of all time, without question.
06:09Well, let's...
06:10Okay, so what we do is we game-change the optics here completely, yes?
06:13What?
06:14I mean, Eric, perhaps you can talk us through Zurich's thinking here.
06:17In the meeting room, it's starting to look as if the signs are suddenly pointing towards
06:21ex-American star footballer and style icon Megan Rapinoe instead of ex-British star footballer
06:27and style icon David Beckham as official FIFA ambassador for the 2026 tournament.
06:33So, of course, we love David.
06:35Right.
06:35How can you not?
06:36For so many of us, he has the sun.
06:37We could never quite have.
06:38Yeah, exactly.
06:39Well, thank you, Emilie.
06:41With Qatar, there was a moment in the sand, and it was David, of course, but what we know
06:44about sand is that it is shifting underneath us all the time, yes?
06:48Right.
06:48Perhaps we are in a different moment today.
06:50Si.
06:50Maybe we have a new story to tell?
06:52Si, exacto.
06:53So, with Rapinoe, you are talking about the future, yes?
06:56Okay.
06:56You're not talking about the past.
06:57The future of the women's game, fine.
06:59Okay.
06:59Which is great, by the way.
07:00Yeah, right.
07:01Yes, no, of course.
07:01Exactly.
07:02So, the future of the women's game is the future of the men's game, yes?
07:05Exactly so.
07:06Ha.
07:07So, Eric.
07:08Yes, hi, Will.
07:09Come in.
07:09So, Eric, just to be clear about this, because there's a lot to process here.
07:12With global attention focused on Thursday's announcement, they're aware that there's
07:17a lot still to get right, and potentially even more to get wrong.
07:20I mean, so just to be clear, are you saying then, Eric, thanks for all the regrets?
07:24No, that's fine, thanks.
07:28Yes.
07:29No, really, that's fine, thanks.
07:30Okay, cool.
07:31I mean, just to clarify, Eric, exactly where we are here.
07:33Sure, okay.
07:34I mean, one thing we do know is we're three days away from this, so we have to be absolutely
07:38clear about what we're doing and why we're doing it.
07:40Yeah, that'd be something, right?
07:41Okay, you want to know where we are here?
07:43Well.
07:43I'll tell you where we are.
07:44Where we are here is this was a fucking banana race.
07:47Right.
07:47A banana race.
07:48Right, and no one told us.
07:49Okay, well.
07:49Turns out we backed a fugazi.
07:52Right.
07:52That's where we are.
07:53Yes, right.
07:54Good.
08:00Will.
08:00Yeah, hi, yeah.
08:01I was trying to find you.
08:02With the meeting over, Ian has found Will in the kitchen.
08:06I thought you might want this back.
08:07Yeah, no crap, yeah.
08:08It's a bit sticky.
08:09Okay.
08:10I'm not sure if they're cappuccino proof.
08:11I mean, they probably are.
08:12Yeah, no worries.
08:13Yeah, crap.
08:14Also, whilst I'm here, I just wanted to say, actually.
08:16Yeah, I know, yeah.
08:17No, hang on, wait.
08:18I wanted to say, you don't need to apologise for yourself, generally, I mean.
08:21Okay.
08:22Sorry.
08:23I mean, everyone knows who you are now.
08:24Yeah, I know.
08:24No, I'm saying that's a good thing.
08:25Oh, okay.
08:26You're my assistant.
08:27I mean, I don't quite know how that happened, but you are.
08:28It's official.
08:29So it's okay to act like you are.
08:30Okay, cool.
08:31Yeah, I mean, what are you doing in here, emptying the dishwasher, for example?
08:34Well, yeah, I dunno.
08:35It was Bpink?
08:37Yes, well, anyway.
08:38Also, once we're on the subject, if it's okay with you...
08:40Yeah, cool, yeah.
08:40No, hang on, I haven't said it yet.
08:41Okay.
08:42If it's okay with you, I was going to put your contact details on my page on the website
08:45and all my work social media from now on.
08:48Okay.
08:48It would be good for people to have a first point of contact, then we can have a system.
08:51Okay, cool.
08:51Yes, but when I tried to add you, it wouldn't let me for some reason.
08:54Right.
08:54Just checking, you've got everything set up correctly.
08:56Yeah, no, say again.
08:57You know, with your oversight account and everything.
09:00Yeah.
09:01Right.
09:03Yeah, no worries.
09:03Yeah, cool.
09:06So she's young, yes?
09:08She is...
09:08They.
09:09Excuse me?
09:09They are.
09:10Exactly, yes.
09:11They're young, they're Gen Z, they have their own channel, and they want to change the world.
09:14We all want to change the world, right?
09:15I want to change the world.
09:16Yeah, me too.
09:16Exactly.
09:17So you go over there, you appear on the podcast live, and you tell your story to 3 million
09:21subscribers.
09:22Not her story.
09:23Right.
09:23Not their story.
09:24Exactly, no, ours.
09:25Right.
09:26This is what I am saying.
09:27Yes.
09:28Right.
09:28I'm glad we got that straightened out.
09:29Meanwhile, Sarah is with VP Logistics and Execution, Owen Mitchell, and VP Optics and
09:35Narrative, Gabriela De La Rosa.
09:36So we've been working on this for a while now.
09:38With a strategy taking shape for how to respond to activist Alicia Byrd's Call This Shit
09:43Out podcast, she's taking them through some ideas her team has come up with.
09:47Okay, wooden toothbrush.
09:49Right.
09:50Huh.
09:50Made from 100% recycled floorboards.
09:52Yeah.
09:53Sure.
09:53Perfect.
09:54Absolutely, right?
09:57Adios mio.
09:58Oh, so they are really cool.
09:59Oh my God.
10:00Is this biodegradable condoms?
10:02Jesus.
10:03Oh my God, that's so cool.
10:04So, we're looking at products that are relevant to the lives of these young men from all over
10:08the world, and we give each player their own earth bag.
10:11Why not?
10:11And what we're saying is, you guys can make a difference.
10:14Right.
10:14Exactly.
10:15This is the perfect story to tell.
10:17Just out of interest, did you guys ever consider biodegradable toothbrushes and wooden condoms?
10:21What?
10:21Yeah, because you know, that really would be something, right?
10:23Okay, so that's not actually funny.
10:25No.
10:26No, right.
10:32Elsewhere, Ian has gone to touch base with FIFA chief coordinating attache, Eric Van
10:36de Putrens.
10:38Do you happen to know how long he's going to be?
10:39So actually, I don't.
10:40Right, no.
10:41Would you like a chair?
10:42No, thanks.
10:50Oh my God.
10:52Oh my God.
10:53Like, you look amazing.
10:55Oh my God.
10:55Like, it's not me, it's the power of Megan, right?
10:57Totally.
10:58Spread the pink.
10:59Meanwhile, with news spreading that Megan Rapinoe is favourite to be the new 2026 official
11:04ambassador, social media team thought leader Madison Flynn and her team have come up with
11:09an epic idea.
11:11It would be like millions of people posting pictures of themselves Rapinoe'd.
11:14Right.
11:14Right, like whoever they are, whatever they're doing, wherever they are in the world, right?
11:17Oh my God, like I would totally do that, right?
11:18Right, me too.
11:19We get this out there.
11:20We drop it.
11:21With the announcement.
11:22I mean, right?
11:23Hashtag spread the pink.
11:24Like...
11:25Right, right, right.
11:26Yeah, right, right.
11:27This is huge.
11:28Like, this could be way bigger than COVID, right?
11:29Yeah.
11:30Right.
11:30Like, I can totally see that.
11:31Yeah, right, right, right.
11:33Ian.
11:34Yes, hi.
11:35I'm sorry.
11:35Have you been there waiting long?
11:36Well, you know.
11:37Then again, we know that time will pass, whether we are waiting for it or not, yes?
11:40Yes.
11:41Please.
11:42Thank you, Emily.
11:42Back over in the real world, meanwhile, Ian has finally made it all the way into Eric's
11:47office.
11:48He's keen to clarify a few things in relation to Thursday's ambassador announcement.
11:52So, just to be absolutely clear about this, are you, actually, could we turn this down
11:56a bit?
11:56Ah, is it okay?
11:57It's just a bit of a little too.
11:59Absolutely, yes.
12:00Great, thanks.
12:01Yes.
12:02So, just to be absolutely clear, are you saying that Zurich has actually been in contact with
12:07Megan Rapinoe about this?
12:08What?
12:09So, we can say this is a dynamic situation, as we speak?
12:12Right, okay.
12:13What we know is that the president is his own man.
12:16Yes, well, that's great.
12:17In fact, I believe it was Yoko Ono who actually suggested the idea to him.
12:21Yoko Ono?
12:22I believe so.
12:22Yes, well, okay.
12:24Actually, no, I am going to ask this.
12:26What was he doing with Yoko Ono?
12:27Well, so they are all friends, of course.
12:29Of course, yes.
12:30Truly an extraordinary woman.
12:32Yes, well, anyway, but just to be clear about one thing.
12:35No, of course.
12:35There are a number of ways this could play out, quite a lot of them not good.
12:38Well, one thing I know isn't going to happen, I'm not doing this.
12:41Ah, yes.
12:41I'm not telling David.
12:42Yes.
12:42If this is Zurich's decision, fine, that's great.
12:45Completely.
12:45But it's their duty to speak with him and deal with it.
12:47No, completely.
12:47And that needs to happen now.
12:49And then we can say that is without question something that can be done.
12:54Right.
12:55Exactly so.
12:57I did actually deliver the other flavor, yeah?
12:59Yeah.
13:00Yes.
13:16Well, I mean, it's lovely, obviously.
13:19Oh, thank you, Ian.
13:20No, really, I mean, well, I mean, it's got a really nice feel.
13:23I will say, so there are fancier apartments, but what you want is somewhere that feels like
13:27a safe space to come back to, right?
13:29Yes, well, I mean...
13:30When you come in, whatever else is happening in the world.
13:32Yes, yes, no, it's great.
13:33It's Wednesday morning, and in a busy week, Sarah has found time before work to show Ian
13:39around the condo she moved to with her daughter Lily two years ago when she left her then-husband
13:44after finding out some things.
13:45Well, so, in terms of the practicalities...
13:48Sure.
13:49Because we haven't really talked about that.
13:50Absolutely.
13:51Yeah, so, I mean, what are the practicalities?
13:53Right.
13:54So, I moved out already, as you know.
13:56Okay.
13:56It was always supposed to be temporary.
13:58Right.
13:59So, now it's going to be sold.
14:00At least, I thought it was, but it turns out there are some technicalities around that,
14:05legally, which I didn't know about, and which are taking some time.
14:09Right.
14:10I won't get into the details if that's okay with you.
14:12No, of course.
14:13This stuff is complicated, right?
14:15Yes.
14:15But, in the meantime, it's here, right?
14:18Yes.
14:18Right, so...
14:20So, just to say, from my point of view, though, it would all have to be, you know...
14:24Oh, my gosh.
14:24You know, I absolutely wouldn't want any special...
14:27Oh, my gosh.
14:27That's so British.
14:28Well, okay, but anyway, still.
14:31So, we're both grown-ups here, right?
14:32Yes, well, I mean...
14:33Neither of us planned this.
14:34Yes, you mean...
14:35This condo is empty.
14:36Right.
14:37For whatever reasons.
14:38Yes.
14:39There's this British guy in Miami looking for somewhere.
14:41Yes.
14:41Like I said, neither of us planned it this way, but sometimes...
14:44Yes.
14:44It's like, why would this not happen, right?
14:48Yes.
14:51Okay, so this...
14:52Woo!
14:54Hey, nice catch.
14:55This is a genuine, bonafide, official...
14:58...2026 soccer ball.
14:59Okay.
15:00And it could be yours, right?
15:01Yeah.
15:01All you have to do is agree to get Rapinoe today.
15:04Rapinoe?
15:04Right.
15:04Because starting today, we are going to Rapinify the world...
15:07Okay.
15:08Rapinoe.
15:09One person at a time.
15:10Rapinoe.
15:10And you could be number one.
15:12Spread the pin.
15:12Yeah.
15:12In the meantime, the social media team have been out trialing their new Spread the Pink campaign...
15:17...in the real IRL.
15:19I don't want the soccer ball.
15:21Okay, cool.
15:21Like, why would I?
15:22Okay, it's gone.
15:22Woo!
15:23Like, I get it.
15:23Like, I get Megan Rapinoe.
15:24She's great.
15:25But I kind of like my hair the way it is, you know?
15:27Right, right, right.
15:27Like, it's part of who I am.
15:29Right, like, I like your hair, too.
15:30We love your hair.
15:31Like, I like my hair, too, right?
15:33Right.
15:33And I did it, right?
15:35Right.
15:35I mean...
15:36Right.
15:37Right.
15:37Right.
15:38Right.
15:41Okay, so...
15:42That's it?
15:43Yeah, I mean...
15:44That's all we've got?
15:45Right, so this is like a tryout.
15:46Right, like, this was just like this super random guy, right?
15:48Totally.
15:49Megan Rapinoe's here tomorrow.
15:50Right.
15:51Megan Rapinoe will be here.
15:53Right, so this is like proof of concept, right?
15:55Proof of concept?
15:57Yeah, right, right, right.
15:57There's half a million people in this city.
15:59Right, so what this shows is you literally only need one guy to say yes here, right?
16:02What?
16:03One guy.
16:04Literally.
16:04Yeah, right, right, right.
16:19Crap.
16:27Will?
16:29Yeah, no crap.
16:30You okay?
16:31Well, yeah, I don't know.
16:32Won't accept my face.
16:33Okay.
16:34Later in the day, it's the afternoon, and Will Humphreys is busy trying to activate his
16:38official oversight email account as Ian's actual assistant.
16:41He's set up facial recognition already, right?
16:43Well, yeah, I don't know.
16:44Like, it says hello face, but it won't accept it.
16:46Fortunately for him, social media sentiment curator Mia So isn't far away.
16:51Okay.
16:52Okay.
16:52Cool.
16:53You're looking right at the camera.
16:54Okay.
16:55Okay, so eyes open.
16:57Okay, crap, yeah.
16:58Okay, just analyzing your features here.
17:00Okay.
17:01Thanks.
17:02Software.
17:03Yeah, no crap.
17:05Okay, you're all done.
17:07Okay.
17:07You're accepted.
17:08You're all set.
17:08Cool.
17:10So there's nothing wrong with your face, right?
17:13Yeah.
17:14Like, whenever I have my photo taken, I always look the same.
17:17Okay.
17:18Cool.
17:19So that's a bad thing?
17:21Yeah.
17:22Okay.
17:23Well, yeah, I think so, yeah.
17:24Right.
17:34She hasn't landed already.
17:35She is here.
17:36Well, that's good news.
17:37Excellent.
17:37It's Thursday, and Ian is on his way across town.
17:40She loves Spread the Bank.
17:42Oh, my gosh, she loves it.
17:43Right.
17:43So that's good news.
17:44That turned out to be quite a good idea in the end.
17:45Exactly, yes.
17:46So this is my job, no?
17:47Yes, good.
17:47With Gabriela stationed at the airport to meet incoming 2026 Ambassador Megan Rapinoe,
17:52this is a big day for the game of soccer, for f***a, and for optics everywhere.
17:57So, look.
17:57Oh, my God, I can see her.
17:59Right.
17:59She is here.
18:00I can see her pink hair.
18:01Right, so I'll...
18:01Megan!
18:02I'll...
18:05I'll make sure everyone's...
18:06Oh, she's gone.
18:08Right, okay, good.
18:14By 10 o'clock, Ian has arrived at the Craftsman Centre for Performative Culture and Arts in Brickell.
18:19Eric, it's Ian.
18:20Just to say I've arrived.
18:21Not sure if you're here already.
18:22Or whether you've heard that Megan has landed, which is a relief, obviously.
18:26But, Jesus Christ.
18:27Anyway, I'm here, so give me a call or message me, and we'll speak soon.
18:32Okay, bye.
18:33Will!
18:33Yeah, hi, Ian.
18:34So I got here early?
18:35Yes.
18:36Yes, like I found out where the coffee is, and they gave me your lanyard for you.
18:38Great, thanks.
18:39Yeah, it's for your neck.
18:40Yes.
18:41So, I mean, obviously this is none of my business, but I mean, what happened with the, uh...
18:45What?
18:46Yeah, no.
18:46I mean, when I said you don't need to apologise for yourself, I didn't necessarily mean dyeing your hair pink.
18:50Well, yeah, I know.
18:51Yeah, like it was Mia's idea.
18:52Right, okay.
18:53Yeah, so like how to pretend to be like this ordinary guy.
18:56Ordinary?
18:56Yeah, like on the street, like for this video, Spread the Pink.
18:58Yes.
18:59Well, it's one way of making yourself visible, I suppose.
19:01Yeah.
19:01I mean, not that it doesn't suit you, obviously.
19:03But yeah, I dunno, yeah, that's what David said.
19:04Yes, right.
19:05David who?
19:05Yeah, so David Beckham.
19:07David Beckham?
19:07Yeah, I know, yeah, pretty cool.
19:10Yeah, yeah, yeah.
19:11Right.
19:11Okay.
19:12Yeah, like I actually got some coffee for him.
19:13That's how I know where it is.
19:16Thanks for having me.
19:17Yeah, that's alright.
19:18It was just me.
19:20So, I'm here with Head of Sustainability and Climate Strategy for the 2026 World Cup, Sarah Campbell.
19:25Absolutely.
19:26Sarah, thanks for coming on the show today.
19:28Absolutely.
19:28It's nice to be here.
19:29Great.
19:30So, as we know, the 2026 World Cup is going to be hosted by the US, Canada and Mexico
19:35and is going to be one of the biggest environmental disasters in, like, forever.
19:39Meanwhile, VP Sustainability and Climate Strategy Sarah Campbell has gone across town to Fashionable
19:45Wynwood to appear live on activist Alicia Bird's daily podcast and take control of the narrative.
19:51So, you've got, like, 2,500 miles between Mexico City and Vancouver.
19:55Yes.
19:56And 2,700 miles between Boston and San Francisco.
19:59Exactly.
20:00Right, so you're not going to be making those journeys on a bike, right?
20:02Well, that's...
20:03No, you're going to be, like, 38,000 feet, whatever, burning fossil fuel like it's going out of style.
20:07Well, but so...
20:07Which it literally is, right?
20:09Well, no, because...
20:11I mean, yes, it is, but that's the point.
20:14So, our logistics are unique, absolutely.
20:17But that's why we have a unique opportunity to raise awareness around those issues.
20:21Okay.
20:22Wow.
20:23Environmentally, 2026 is a once-in-a-lifetime chance to make a difference.
20:26Yeah, I think I get it now.
20:28Truly.
20:28Right, so the bigger of a disaster you are environmentally, the more you raise awareness of how catastrophic
20:33that is.
20:34Absolutely.
20:34Excuse me?
20:35I can see that working.
20:37No.
20:37You know what?
20:37That's actually pretty neat.
20:40No.
20:43Back at the Craftsman Center, meanwhile, with Megan Rapinoe and her people now arrived
20:47and in the room with David Beckham and his people at the same time, it looks like they've
20:51ended up with at least one too many ambassadors and quite possibly too many people.
20:56Ian.
20:57Yes.
20:58Welcome.
20:59You remember Amy, of course.
21:00Amy, yes.
21:01Hi, Ian.
21:01Who has actually flown in from L.A.
21:04Really?
21:04Indeed so.
21:05Well, you've got to be here for this, right?
21:07Oh, absolutely.
21:08Yes, and here you are.
21:08Right.
21:09Yeah, so Eric, should we just have a quick catch-up on practicalities?
21:12Of course, yes.
21:13Well, if you'll forgive us for a moment.
21:14Sure.
21:15You guys do what you're going to do, right?
21:17In his official role as F***'s Director of Integrity, Ian has suddenly found himself
21:22dealing with what can only be described as a situation.
21:25What have you told him?
21:26What have you said to them?
21:26So, the President is in a meeting with Elton John.
21:29Elton John?
21:29Apparently, he cannot be disturbed.
21:31We agreed that if they wanted Megan Rapinoe, Zurich were going to have to handle David.
21:34Yes.
21:35We agreed that.
21:36Exactly.
21:36So, what happened?
21:37So, what we can say is that what we know is that once the referee has blown his whistle,
21:42then the game has started and no one can know how it ends.
21:45Okay.
21:45If it's okay with you, I'm going to ignore that because I don't know what it means.
21:48Absolutely.
21:48Yes, of course.
21:49Yes.
21:49Okay.
21:50So, what happens here is, what we do, we control this, yes?
21:52Right.
21:53Someone has to tell David.
21:54Yes.
21:54Someone has to tell him.
21:55Absolutely, yes.
21:56Yes, I know that.
21:56Si, that is what I am saying, before it is too late.
21:58Yes, okay, so?
21:59Well, or someone has to tell Megan, I guess.
22:01What?
22:01Excuse me?
22:02Well, no, I think that's a whole other...
22:03No way, right?
22:04Tell Megan.
22:05Yeah.
22:05No way.
22:06With important people's people now starting to talk to each other in the room, Ian's job
22:11is to keep his team calm in a situation where everyone knows that that's by some margin
22:16the least sensible option.
22:17This is not okay.
22:18It's one or the other now, basically.
22:20No, no, no, no, no, no.
22:20And I'm sorry, but for me...
22:21No, no, no.
22:22To be fair, it's a no-brainer.
22:23That's why you're stupid, okay?
22:24Yeah, what?
22:25I know what you're doing and you're not doing it, okay?
22:26Look, this isn't helping, okay?
22:28What we've managed to establish is that someone needs to tell somebody something.
22:31Exactly.
22:31Yeah, exactly.
22:32Any moment now...
22:33Oh, they're coming.
22:34Right, okay.
22:36Right, here we go.
22:36Yeah, embrace your impact, guys.
22:37Engage your car.
22:38Sorry, I have to take this.
22:40Presidente, como va?
22:43Hi, guys.
22:44Hey, Amy.
22:44Hey, Kim.
22:45Hi.
22:46Yes, hi.
22:49Those are so cool bamboo socks.
22:52Right.
22:53They're bamboo, but they're actually washable and reusable, just like regular socks.
22:56So why not just give them regular socks, then?
22:58Excuse me?
22:59It's just like organic cotton is literally one of the most environmentally friendly materials
23:02we have.
23:04But these are bamboo.
23:06Back over in Wynwood, Sarah has unleashed her big idea on Alicia Byrd.
23:10100% recycled floorboards.
23:11Of course.
23:12Yeah.
23:13Whoa.
23:13Wait.
23:14Okay, so they're really cool.
23:16No way.
23:17So we wanted to focus on products that are relevant to these young men, but, and also
23:21to women, obviously.
23:22But also, and to other more people of really just pretty much everybody, you know, following
23:27our theme of raising awareness.
23:29Right, right.
23:30Hence, things like wooden condoms and biodegradable.
23:32Wooden condoms?
23:33No, wait.
23:33Excuse me.
23:34Holy fuck.
23:35No, wooden toothbrushes.
23:36Guys, I think we just got ourselves a world first.
23:38Wooden condoms, everybody.
23:40Holy.
23:40Holy.
23:42In the meantime, at the Craftsman Centre, with the clock ticking down relentlessly, there
23:46had been some intense negotiations behind the scenes.
23:49So cutting to the chase, we might have a solution that I think I can say everyone is
23:53happy with, if happy is the right word.
23:55Perfect.
23:56The new plan is for the event to become a symbolic passing of the baton from one icon
24:00to another, with David Beckham as outgoing ambassador, passing an official football
24:06to Megan Rapinoe as incoming ambassador.
24:08The future of the game is now indifferent, equally safe, but in the end, pinker hands.
24:14Okay.
24:14Ay, Dios mÃo.
24:15Okay, cool.
24:15Yeah, cool, yeah.
24:16Oh my god, genius.
24:17I mean, luckily, one good thing about it, if Amy and Kim can sell that as an idea to
24:20their respective clients, all we need now is a football.
24:23Sure, okay.
24:23You know, I mean, an official f***er one, obviously.
24:25Exactly, yes, cool.
24:26Yes, sir.
24:27Yeah, no, great.
24:35Okay, okay, okay.
24:36Oh, great.
24:37What?
24:38No way.
24:39Oh, of course.
24:39Like, no way.
24:40But as is often the case with the best ideas, it's all about the detail.
24:45And in this case, the problem is that they haven't got the one detail they actually need.
24:49I mean, there must be a sports shop somewhere near here.
24:51Okay, so there's a Dick's in Overtown.
24:53A Dick's?
24:53Right.
24:53Yeah, no, there is, yeah.
24:54Where's Overtown?
24:55Okay, so...
24:55Yeah, where's Overtown, yeah.
24:56Yeah, no.
24:57Okay, so it's four miles away.
24:58Four miles.
24:58Crap.
24:59Mm, 20 minutes by car.
25:0020 minutes.
25:01Great.
25:02Yeah, no crap.
25:03Sorry, Will.
25:04Yeah, can you just...
25:04Yeah, no.
25:05No, really, we're trying to...
25:06Yeah, no, because I've got one.
25:07What?
25:08Yeah, in my bag, yeah.
25:09You've got a football?
25:10Yeah, I don't know.
25:10Like, they gave it to me when they did this.
25:12Right.
25:13There you go.
25:14Oh, my God.
25:15Oh, Will, that's...
25:16Okay, cool.
25:17What can I say?
25:19Yeah, no question, yeah.
25:23Yeah, no worries, you're cool.
25:25He's now indifferent, equally safe, but in the end, finger hands.
25:31So, perhaps we can say, uh, the big moment has arrived, yes?
25:35Guys, please.
25:40There you go.
25:43Finally, after being moments away from disaster all morning, it's starting to look as if it might actually be too
25:48late for that.
25:49I love you, too, and thanks.
25:51I love you, too.
25:54I love you, too.
25:55I love you, too, too.
26:02I love you, too.
26:04Thank you, too.
26:07Thank you, too.
26:07Thank you, thank you.
26:08With the event over, it's time to assess how things have landed on social media, and there's general agreement in
26:14Zurich and beyond that things have not just gone perfectly but exactly as planned.
26:21But football is a funny game, and it turns out that this is a day on which other things
26:26are landing on social media at the same time, and not in a good way.
26:51At the end of the day, it's never over until it's over, and it's one game at a time.
26:56Well, as it happens, I have, yes. I've just seen it, yes, so that's all good.
27:01Yes, so I mean, Sarah? Sarah, you okay? Sarah?
27:21Okay, so at the moment, we have a million views already.
27:25Right, correct.
27:25Another Monday morning at 2026 Oversight Headquarters in Miami, and Director of Integrity Ian Fletcher
27:31is chairing a meeting of the Strategic Operations Group, or SOG.
27:36So my correction was immediate, right? Like, it's right there for anyone to see, but of course,
27:42no one's interested in that. Of course, sure. They're not interested in it.
27:45Actually, Gabriella, could we just...
27:46Sure.
27:47Sorry, sir.
27:49Sure, no, thank you. Thank you, Ian. No one is interested in the real issues here.
27:53They'd rather laugh at a three-second clip on their phones.
27:56Yes.
27:56Meanwhile, polar bears are running out of ice to actually sit on.
27:59Yes, exactly so. And in this way, we are all polar bears, yes?
28:03Yes, I mean...
28:03And this is our global mission together in football.
28:05Yes, good to know.
28:07100%.
28:07Yeah, right.
28:08There's been a lively response over the weekend to Sarah's appearance on a podcast to promote
28:132026's sustainability agenda.
28:15Right, so, I mean, Gabriella...
28:16Sure.
28:16From an optics and narrative perspective...
28:18See, what?
28:19What's the...
28:19Okay, so right now, we have calls from three major US networks who want to do an interview
28:23with the wooden condoms girl.
28:25Right.
28:25Okay, three.
28:26The wooden condoms girl?
28:27Exactly.
28:28Jesus.
28:28Well, so...
28:29Just say, guys, I'd totally watch that.
28:31Right.
29:00I mean, you kind of have to, wouldn't you?
29:01Yeah, I'm...
29:02Really?
29:02Absolutely.
29:03Okay.
29:04So now you have a platform.
29:05You have millions of people looking at you.
29:08Right.
29:08Millions.
29:09Yes?
29:10Yes.
29:10This is a dream scenario, no?
29:12Absolutely.
29:13Right, okay.
29:14Just to check, Sarah, that you're happy with the idea of Gabriella engaging with one of
29:17the networks about this.
29:19Sure.
29:20Right, okay.
29:21Well, I think that sounds like a...
29:22Sure.
29:23Sounds like a plan, then.
29:24Absolutely.
29:33Mateus Savori.
29:34Okay.
29:35Like this totally random German website actually just named him?
29:37Yes.
29:38Like they say they have proof.
29:39Meanwhile, it's mid-morning, and in the social media space, something has happened.
29:43News has dropped in a post from a prominent LGBTQIA campaign group that one of the hottest
29:48young talents in world football is about to come out as gay.
29:51So this is getting a lot of heat on social media right now.
29:54Sure.
29:54Right, like hashtag change the game, right?
29:55Right, yes.
29:56Wow, like this is literally insane.
29:58Right.
29:58With a campaign already launched on social media, hashtag change the game, everyone is
30:03aware of the potential challenges this could present from an optics and narrative point
30:07of view.
30:08Right, so change the game.
30:09Right, so basically they're like 6% of men in Western cultures identify as gay.
30:14Right.
30:14Sure.
30:156%.
30:15Right.
30:16So where are they getting that figure from?
30:17So I think that is like research.
30:19Right, totally.
30:20Yeah, right, right, right.
30:20Right, so for 2026, that means like we don't know what the actual number here is, right?
30:24Well, okay.
30:25The number is huge, okay?
30:26Right.
30:26It's a huge number.
30:27Okay, well we have 48 teams competing, right?
30:29Let's say they each bring a squad of 25 players still?
30:3226.
30:3326, right?
30:3426 men's squad, yeah.
30:35So that's 26 person?
30:36Well, no.
30:37Okay, so that adds up to around 1,250 players.
30:41Right.
30:41Okay, so if the 6% figure is correct, we're looking at around 75 gay players here.
30:47Right, right.
30:4875 exactly, yes.
30:49It's huge.
30:50I mean, that's like three old teams.
30:51Whoa.
30:52Yes, well, I mean, yeah, three teams, that's just like mental.
30:55Yes.
30:55Right, so the point is, where are those players right now, right?
30:59Like they're literally invisible.
31:00Yes.
31:01That beats me, where are they?
31:02Right, so we change the game.
31:03It's like we're done with that, right?
31:04Like it's time.
31:05Right.
31:06Like this could be the moment.
31:07Well, yes, obviously.
31:07So guys, what we do here is we control this, yes?
31:10We get a statement out there now.
31:11Right.
31:11No, but right now.
31:12Like now, yes?
31:13Yes.
31:13So you want to know where we are here if we get this wrong?
31:15I'll tell you where we are if we get this wrong.
31:16At the moment, we don't even know if any of this shit is true, right?
31:19Well, actually, yes.
31:20Excuse me.
31:21I mean, I suppose that's a point.
31:22It's literally out there on social media.
31:23We put a statement out there.
31:24We end up accidentally outing a guy here who turns out to be straight.
31:28So legally, Nick.
31:29Legally?
31:30Your advice here would be?
31:31Legally, my advice is, are we fucking insane?
31:34Right.
31:34Honestly, I don't know.
31:36Are we?
31:43I mean, you've never actually had one of these before.
31:45Right.
31:46Well, then you haven't lived, right?
31:47Right.
31:48Meanwhile, it's the end of what could be a significant day for Ian,
31:51and perhaps for Sarah as well.
31:53So there's some milk in here?
31:54Right.
31:55And some cheese and grapes and ooh.
31:56Right.
31:57So I just put a few things in there in case you needed them.
31:58Oh, well, I mean, that's...
31:59He has decided to take up the offer of her apartment to rent
32:02and finally move out of his hotel.
32:04Like I say, like, with the air conditioning or anything else you need to know,
32:07you can call me any time.
32:08Yes, thank you.
32:09Sure.
32:11Okay.
32:12Well.
32:12Right, yes.
32:14So I hope you'll be happy here.
32:15Oh, well, thank you.
32:16I mean, I'll certainly give it a shot anyway.
32:18Right.
32:18Oh, and I mean, thanks for coming over, you know, especially and showing me.
32:21Of course.
32:21I mean, I know how busy things are at the moment.
32:24Right.
32:25I mean, I would invite you to stay for a coffee.
32:27Right.
32:27Or, you know, tea or cheese and grapes.
32:29You know...
32:29But I mean, it's your apartment after all, so it feels a bit...
32:32You know, I'd love to, but I don't know.
32:35I guess I better...
32:36Right.
32:37No rest for the wooden condoms girl, right?
32:38Yes.
32:39I mean, for what it's worth, I'm sure that'll work out okay in the end.
32:42Sure.
32:45It's not easy, right?
32:46Yes.
32:47What is it?
32:48This.
32:49All of it.
32:50Everything.
32:50It...
32:51No.
32:51This is not easy.
32:53Yes.
32:54No, so anyway, I mean, this is really, you know, thank you.
32:58Sure.
33:12F***a wholly supports any player's right to live a life that is true to themselves.
33:17Football is a game for everyone.
33:19The 2026 tournament is a gender-neutral space, and we are proud to encourage, promote, and
33:25celebrate diversity, equality, and inclusion on the world stage.
33:30Right.
33:30Okay.
33:30Thanks, Gabriella.
33:31Sure.
33:31And, Madison, I know your team's been working hard on this.
33:34Right.
33:34Really?
33:34Good job, guys.
33:35Exactly.
33:35It's perfect.
33:36Meanwhile, it's Tuesday, and with a campaign across social media rapidly gaining pace to
33:41make 2026 the moment when any and all gay footballers finally come out of their changing
33:46rooms, the pressure is on for F***a to release a statement that puts them ahead of the game
33:50in one of the most culturally sensitive areas on Earth.
33:53I mean, Eric, I know you've been in contact with Zurich about this.
33:57Well, so first of all, I'm sorry not to be with you in what I believe we can call the
34:01flesh, but perhaps in the end we are all where we are in life, yes?
34:05Yes.
34:06Yeah, right.
34:07100%.
34:07And in order to complicate things further, F***a chief coordinating attaché Eric van de
34:12Putrens is on his way to the airport to fly to Rome, where F***a president, C***a Infantino,
34:17is due to be meeting Pope Leo XII in the morning.
34:20Then we can say that if we are all gay today, yes?
34:23Yes, I mean...
34:24Each of us in our own way, of course.
34:26Then the Pope, how shall I put this, perhaps not quite so much.
34:30Right, no.
34:31Okay, I'm going to ask this.
34:32He's meeting the Pope?
34:33Ah, yes, yes.
34:34I mean, what the f***?
34:35Well, so they are all friends, of course.
34:37He's friends with the Pope?
34:39Okay, well...
34:39The president has many friends.
34:40He's a very friendly man.
34:41F***s sake.
34:42Right, but Eric, to get into the nuts and bolts of this, so it's the words gender and
34:46neutral we're talking about here?
34:48Well, in a way, yes.
34:49No way.
34:49Those are the words Zurich has a problem with.
34:52No, no, no, no, no one has a problem with this.
34:55The suggestion is simply that we replace the word gender and neutral by the single word safe.
35:01Right.
35:02Okay.
35:03Safe?
35:03As in the 2026 tournament is a safe space.
35:06No way.
35:07Exactly so.
35:08Just say, guys, sounds good to me.
35:09No way, right?
35:10And that is all.
35:11Like, this is not okay.
35:12Bueno, que saben de palabras en Zurich?
35:14No saben nada.
35:16Yeah, so this is a very complex, very nuanced issue, clearly.
35:19Yeah, right.
35:19But crucially, Eric, we need to get something out there before the audience with the Pope
35:24tomorrow morning.
35:26Oh, right, okay.
35:28So I think he's dropped out.
35:29Yes.
35:29Yes, he has.
35:30Anyway, whilst that's happening, this is something we cannot afford to get wrong.
35:33Yeah.
35:33In fact, even more than that, we absolutely have to get it right.
35:36Yeah, I've been trying to imagine that.
35:38It's not easy.
35:39Okay.
35:39So legally, I'd say we're good with safe space, right?
35:42Right.
35:42No way.
35:43Because it doesn't mean anything.
35:44What?
35:44Whereas gender neutral, what can I tell you?
35:47I mean, you're pretty much looking at a tornado of shit right from the get-go there.
35:50Right.
35:50Well, you literally cannot do this.
35:52Okay, well, great.
35:53If shit is your thing.
35:54Right, okay.
35:59I mean, this is a great story.
36:02I can tell you, there's a lot of interest in it already.
36:04Absolutely.
36:04Really, it's super exciting.
36:06Absolutely.
36:07Meanwhile, Sarah is on a Zoom call with news producer Rachel McKinney, assistant editor
36:12of CNC's prestigious daily World News Tonight.
36:15So at the moment, we have you as second item out of the news, but that could change.
36:19Right.
36:19Obviously, we'll make sure we keep you posted.
36:21Great.
36:22And so...
36:22During the morning, it's become clear that her live interview about the wooden condom story
36:26is going to be later today.
36:28As in later today.
36:30So, could I just check with you?
36:31Sure.
36:32So, this may be a stupid question.
36:34No, really, no, anything.
36:35So, is this camera okay?
36:37Your computer camera?
36:38I mean, it's fine for this, obviously, but for network TV...
36:41Oh, okay.
36:42Like, I'm not gonna need makeup or any special...
36:44No, no, no, really.
36:45So, honestly, I mean, you could even wear exactly what you're wearing right now.
36:49Right.
36:50Really, I'm not joking.
36:52Great.
36:53So...
36:54Okay, so that is what you're going to be wearing.
36:56Right.
36:57Well...
36:57No, that's great, Sarah.
36:58Like, I just came to work this morning.
36:59It's perfect.
37:00Right.
37:01Really, honestly, you can relax.
37:03Great.
37:05Oh, my God.
37:06Right.
37:07No way.
37:07Oh, my God, oh, my God.
37:08Jesus, what now?
37:09Oh, right, okay.
37:10Right, yeah.
37:11Like, no way.
37:12Back in the meeting room, meanwhile, the Mateusz Savory story is developing by the minute.
37:17His management team have just posted a post on social media.
37:20Whilst Mateusz is proud to be a supporter of the LGBTQIA plus community, he categorically
37:26denies any suggestion that he himself is gay.
37:29And anyone who gives credence to this suggestion in any way, directly or indirectly, can expect
37:33immediate, robust and conclusive legal consequences.
37:37Right.
37:37They literally cannot do this.
37:38They think about the brand here, yes?
37:40You know what, guys?
37:40I had a feeling this might happen.
37:42Like, fuck you did, Phil.
37:43Yes, well, anyway, it has.
37:44Exactly.
37:45Why not?
37:45I mean, at least we know where we are now, so that's all good.
37:47Well, yeah, right.
37:53Will?
37:53Oh, yeah, hey, yeah.
37:55What, yeah, I was going to bring your coffee in?
37:57Okay, right.
37:58Yeah.
37:59Well, thank you, obviously.
38:00Yeah, no worries.
38:01But the meeting's actually finished now.
38:03Okay.
38:03I'm just going to make myself one.
38:04Okay, yeah, no worries, you're crap.
38:05In the meantime, Ian has found Will in the kitchen.
38:08Are you looking for something?
38:09Yeah, do you know where the ashwagandha tea is?
38:11Ashwagandha tea?
38:12Yeah, so...
38:12Even though he's Ian's assistant, it seems he's gone off-piste and offered to make a cup of
38:16tea for Sarah.
38:17Yeah, because apparently it's really calming.
38:18Oh, well, that's good of you.
38:19Yeah.
38:20Yeah, I mean, I think Sarah's got quite a lot on today.
38:22Yeah.
38:22You know, with the interview and everything.
38:23Yeah, no, yeah, Mateo Sivori.
38:25What?
38:25Yeah, no, you're mental, yeah.
38:27No, no, it's not about Mateo Sivori.
38:28Okay.
38:29No, it's about...
38:29Actually, it doesn't matter what it's about.
38:31But in any case, no, I think a cup of tea...
38:34Oh, my God.
38:36Oh, my God, Sarah.
38:41So, I am thinking a little shape here.
38:44Maybe a little life, yes?
38:46Right.
38:46Okay.
38:47And with the face, I don't know, just a little definition, a little sunshine, maybe.
38:52Sunshine.
38:53Huh.
38:53Meanwhile, thanks to a brilliant idea of Gabriela's, renowned Miami hair and makeup
38:58visionary and spiritual guidance counselor, Eduardo Bustos Flores, has arrived, literally
39:03out of nowhere, to work with Sarah ahead of her live TV interview.
39:07I mean, you're sure there's time for this, Eduardo?
39:10Okay.
39:11Yeah, you sure there's time for this, Eduardo?
39:12Sarah, there is time for everything in life, yes?
39:16A time to weep, a time to heal, a time to dance.
39:20Right.
39:20Okay, so today, on this day, we make a choice.
39:23We choose to dance, yes?
39:26Sure.
39:27Okay, great.
39:28Oh, my God.
39:29Oh, my God.
39:29Oh, come to me.
39:33What can I say?
39:34Thank you for doing this.
39:35You know, well, maybe you need that.
39:36Ay, no, no, no, no, no.
39:38So, everything is good now, yes?
39:40Yeah, sure.
39:42What did I tell you?
39:43Absolutely.
39:43So, I have just spoken with Rachel at CNC.
39:45Okay.
39:46They would like you in place and ready at 6 o'clock.
39:48Okay.
39:48Just to make sure everything is okay, technically.
39:50Sure.
39:50Just because it's life, so, you know, nothing can go wrong.
39:52Absolutely.
39:53No.
39:53Oh, hey, Ian.
39:54Yes, hi.
39:55How's it all going?
39:56Yeah.
39:57Everything is good.
39:58Absolutely.
39:59Sure.
39:59So, Ian, this is Eduardo.
40:01Right.
40:01Hello.
40:02He is a genius.
40:03Good.
40:04Gabriela, I was wondering if you had a moment.
40:06Okay, sure.
40:09What now?
40:09What now?
40:11Okay.
40:16Okay, what's happening here?
40:18Okay.
40:18So, what's happening is she's going to look sensational.
40:21Yes, I'm sure she is, but you realize what's coming towards us here.
40:23What are you saying to me?
40:24This is a live interview, right?
40:25Yes, absolutely live, yes.
40:27Yes, so she's going to get asked about Mateo Savori.
40:29No.
40:29No, she is.
40:30This interview is about sustainability and climate strategy, yes?
40:32And we're prepared for this.
40:33Exactly, that's my point.
40:35Whereas the truth is, Sarah's going to get asked about F***'s position on gay footballers
40:38in 2026 live on network TV.
40:40No.
40:40And at the moment, we have no real idea what that position is.
40:43She is the wooden condom scarf, yes.
40:45I have this from the producer, like I actually spoke with her earlier.
40:47She gave me her word.
40:48Right, and you believed her.
40:50Excuse me?
40:50A news producer producing a live network news show today,
40:53just at the moment when a story like this is breaking worldwide.
40:56Okay.
40:58Okay.
40:59Except maybe I would like to change what you're wearing, because I'm not...
41:02Okay.
41:03Okay.
41:04Okay.
41:05Mommy, I can't do anything.
41:17F*** strongly opposes all forms of intrusion into any player's private life.
41:22The 2026 tournament is a safe space...
41:25This is a day on which things are moving fast.
41:28In light of his management team's assertion that Mateusz Savori is not legally gay,
41:32the oversight team has been working on a new statement to get ahead of a different narrative.
41:36Diversity, equality and inclusion on the world stage.
41:39Right, good.
41:39Thanks, Gabriella.
41:40And again to Madison for turning this around so fast.
41:42Sure.
41:43Okay, so can I just say that this is not okay?
41:45Okay, so we talked about this, yes?
41:47I mean, Emily, I don't know if Eric's with us at the moment.
41:49So I think Eric is in a tunnel?
41:50Right, okay.
41:51Yeah, let's hope.
41:52I mean, so just to bring everybody up to speed...
41:53And if they thought they were under pressure already, there's suddenly a whole new urgency,
41:58with time now ticking down towards a hard stop much closer to the present than anyone realized.
42:03Okay, so Sarah will be asked about Mateusz Savori in the World News Tonight interview.
42:08Sarah?
42:08Yes.
42:08Exactly.
42:09Great.
42:09So then we have a game plan here, yes?
42:11A game plan.
42:12Have we?
42:12We have the statement.
42:13Yes, we're good to go.
42:14And Sarah is at her computer for the interview.
42:16She can have it right there on the screen.
42:17Right.
42:17Actually, this is a perfect plan.
42:19But at the moment, we don't know which statement we're actually going with.
42:21Excuse me?
42:22Right.
42:22Like, this is so wrong.
42:24I mean...
42:24Okay, you want to know where we are here?
42:25Well...
42:25I'll tell you where we are.
42:26So we need to establish which way this guy swings before he put out any statement.
42:30Right.
42:30Okay, so you literally cannot say that.
42:32Meanwhile, it looks like F*** for Chief Liaison Officer, Eric Van de Putrens, has come out of his tunnel and
42:37emerged at the airport.
42:38So, I have been in contact with Zurich.
42:40Great.
42:41They have looked at both versions.
42:42Well, good, because we need a decision here.
42:44Exactly so.
42:45So then, in football, we know that we all have feet, yes?
42:49So, then, if you play with the left foot or with the right foot, in this game, we are all
42:55equal on the pitch, yes?
42:57But at the same moment, we can say that...
43:00With social media in meltdown and an hour to go before Sarah's live CNC interview, it's crucial that everybody is
43:07clear about which statement they're finally finalising.
43:09So, in the end, we can say the feeling in the room is, at this moment, we are going with
43:15statement number because...
43:19Right.
43:20Great.
43:21So, this will be the signal.
43:22Yes.
43:22Wait, no.
43:23In or with it, but also avoid the control, especially the view of the Vatican, I believe, join shortly.
43:35Sorry, sorry, Eric, we lost you for a moment there.
43:37Could you just say that again?
43:40Eric?
43:41Oh, my God.
43:42Oh.
43:43So, this will be the signal again.
43:44Did he just say the Vatican?
43:45Yes.
43:46Yeah, he did.
43:46No, no, no, no.
43:46As in the Vatican who will be joining us shortly?
43:49Okay, so this is not good.
43:51Yeah, without a doubt.
43:54City.
43:55So, another idea we had, we've been working with the FAA on this.
43:58Sure.
43:59We have aircraft fly 20% slower on flights between host cities for the duration of the tournament.
44:03Yeah, I remember that.
44:05Thereby saving 20% of fuel on every scheduled flight.
44:08Yeah.
44:08Meanwhile, VP Logistics and Execution Owen Mitchell is workshopping ideas with Sarah ahead of the World News Tonight interview at
44:156 o'clock.
44:16I mean, in terms of carbon emissions, that's a major step on the journey to carbon neutrality right there, right?
44:21Yeah, so as I recall, the issue with that is that it doesn't work.
44:25Okay.
44:25It actually uses more fuel to fly slower.
44:28Okay, so we have them fly 20% faster.
44:30Yeah, it turns out in terms of fuel economy, they're pretty much flying at the correct speed already.
44:35Okay.
44:35Do you know, maybe you're looking in the wrong direction here.
44:39The wrong direction?
44:40Yeah.
44:40A lot of people I talk to is like, what is carbon?
44:44Nobody knows, we cannot say.
44:45Well, you know, we kind of do know, actually.
44:48Whereas, did you know, the average cow in the U.S. produces 200 pounds of methane every year just by
44:53farting.
44:54Yeah.
44:54Right.
44:55That's so true.
44:56Even a child knows what that is.
44:57Absolutely.
44:58Actually, I believe it's mainly belching, but that's a detail.
45:01Either way, there you have something.
45:03Everybody can relate to this.
45:04Well, so maybe we should go methane neutral then.
45:08Methane neutral.
45:09There you go.
45:10Oh my gosh.
45:11Right, so just to clarify right away, that was a joke, right?
45:15Oh my gosh.
45:18No, no, no.
45:19We are in agreement, va bene, for sure.
45:21But we would propose a small modification to the warning.
45:24Una modifica la formulazione.
45:25Ah, si.
45:26Back in the meeting room, there's been a new development.
45:28The team has been joined by the Vatican's lead communications officer, Father Pietro Longhi, in Rome.
45:36Yes, perhaps if we could drop back into English now.
45:38Of course.
45:39Given the urgency here.
45:40Si, si.
45:40Va bene, tutto va bene.
45:41Yeah, so, hi, Father.
45:43Pietro, please.
45:44All right, Nick Castellano, VP Business and Legal.
45:46Yes, of course.
45:46Do you want to just walk us through any changes you want to make with this?
45:49Okay.
45:49First of all, I want to say that I am not aware of this.
45:51This is not agreed.
45:52Well, shall we just...
45:53There are now just 20 minutes left before the moment when Sarah will be announcing
45:57F***'s position on gay footballers live to the world, even though she doesn't realize
46:01that yet, and no one knows what it is.
46:03To the phrase, we are proud to promote the diversity, equality and inclusion on the world
46:08stage.
46:08Sure.
46:09No way.
46:09We would propose, please, to celebrate in place of proud to promote.
46:13Okay.
46:13It's a small thing.
46:14Sure.
46:15Like, they cannot change that.
46:16Look, I'm afraid we...
46:17I'm sorry to say that proud and promote are problematic for us.
46:20It's perfect, is the same.
46:21This is not okay.
46:22I cannot say what Zurich will make of this.
46:24Of course.
46:24Nevertheless, we would propose this in any case.
46:26Look, I'm sorry, but the truth is, we don't have time for this now.
46:29So I'm just catching up here, but did I miss something, or is this a lot worse than
46:32I thought?
46:33So there is life here now.
46:35Lightness, freedom.
46:36Sure.
46:37You're sure this dress is okay?
46:39Okay.
46:40Yeah, I don't know.
46:41I don't want to look...
46:41Sarah, don't be scared of who you are.
46:44Huh.
46:44I feel this with you.
46:47Well, let's hope these don't spoil the effect anyway.
46:49Oh, I guess I should have...
46:51No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
46:52Eduardo.
46:53After everything we've been through.
46:55No.
46:55Oh, please.
46:58Please.
46:59You cannot do this.
47:00You cannot.
47:00Meanwhile, Sarah's transformation at the hands of hairdressing genius Eduardo Bustos Flores
47:05is literally coming to some kind of head.
47:08Help me!
47:13Uh...
47:16Yes?
47:16Yeah, hi, yeah.
47:18Yeah, so I couldn't find the tea, you said?
47:20Ashwagandha?
47:21Yes, again.
47:22Yeah, cool, yeah.
47:22So I went out to, like, a shop to get some.
47:25Oh, my gosh, Will.
47:26Well, yeah, no worries, yeah.
47:28That is so sweet of you.
47:30Well, yeah, cool, yeah, no worries, yeah, cool.
47:31Oh, my gosh.
47:32Do those things work with his computer?
47:35Yes, again.
47:36Those ear things, do they work with his computer?
47:38Well, yeah, I don't know, yeah.
47:49There are now 12 minutes left until Sarah's CNC interview, but in the meeting room, the
47:54narrative has changed yet again.
47:58Right, OK.
47:59Oh, my God.
48:00Looks like he's having fun.
48:04A clip of Mattias Savori has just surfaced on social media.
48:11OK, so apparently this is like a club in Berlin.
48:13Ah, yes, Berlin.
48:14Ah, si, Berlin, naturalmente.
48:16OK, so guys, so the goalposts just moved again.
48:19Right.
48:19100%.
48:19So now we don't know which way we're playing.
48:21Right, well, we go back to the first statement here, right?
48:22Right, so...
48:23Wait, there's another statement?
48:24So we really need to decide this.
48:26So I should probably say we have some problem with statement day.
48:28So I will also need sign-off from Zurich on this.
48:30We can't...
48:31Jesus Christ, forgive me, Father.
48:33Sure.
48:33So his management team's now saying this shit is deepfake.
48:35Deepfake?
48:36OK, OK, OK.
48:37Yeah, like, of course they are.
48:38OK, so then we go with the second statement, yeah?
48:40The second statement?
48:40So...
48:41No way.
48:41So, just to say, my flight to home is now being called.
48:44Everyone...
48:44OK, no, it is worse than I thought.
48:45You want to know how bad this is?
48:47Actually, it's simple.
48:47We just need to decide what to do here.
48:49It's too late, I'm afraid.
48:50We've run out of time.
48:51Coming up, we'll be talking to the woman in control of sustainability and climate strategy
48:56for the 2026 soccer tournament, otherwise known as the wooden condoms girl.
49:01Right.
49:01Could be interesting.
49:02Could be interesting, right.
49:03Right, and if you don't know why, stay with us.
49:05With moments to go now until Sarah's interview, the young social media team have been enlisted
49:09to encourage her computer to talk to Will's earbuds.
49:12Another big soccer story breaking today, too.
49:15Right.
49:15The world-famous player who may or may not be about to come out as gay.
49:19Right, we'll be asking her about all that, too, of course.
49:22Yep, stay with us.
49:23OK, it's still not showing up.
49:25You're crap.
49:25Because this is so going to work, OK?
49:27OK, so we emailed her both statements, and she can have them both in front of her.
49:30How the fuck is that going to help?
49:32Neither of them has agreed, and we don't know which one we're going with.
49:34OK, OK, OK.
49:34How long are the commercial breaks?
49:35Sure.
49:36In World News tonight, do we know that?
49:37Exactly, yes.
49:38Do we know this?
49:38Right, great.
49:39OK, so three minutes.
49:40Three minutes?
49:40OK, try this.
49:46OK.
49:47Everything is good.
49:48Cool.
49:48Hi.
49:49Hi.
49:50Yeah, hey, yeah, what's your name?
49:51So, Sarah, just to say, you look fabulous, by the way, just to say, it's all good, we're
49:55on top of this, and everything will be fine.
49:58Right, OK.
50:00So it's like she's gone somewhere.
50:01What?
50:02Gone somewhere.
50:03Like in her head?
50:04Oh, right, yeah.
50:04I had an idea.
50:10So what's the plan?
50:11Well, in essence, I think the plan is that someone thinks of something brilliant in the
50:13next two minutes and ten seconds.
50:15Great.
50:15Why not?
50:16Yeah, that ought to work.
50:19OK, I've got an idea.
50:26OK, Sarah, so we are set up.
50:30We'll be coming to you in ten.
50:32Have fun.
50:33Sarah, don't say anything.
50:35It's me, Ian.
50:36I have no idea how they've done this, but apparently we can talk to you without anybody
50:40else hearing.
50:41I mean, just in case, you know.
50:43So basically, it's all good.
50:45Finally, the moment has arrived, and it's time for whatever it is that's about to happen
50:49to happen.
50:51Wooden condoms and biodegradable wooden condoms.
50:52Wooden condoms and biodegradable wooden condoms.
50:55Wow, you've got to love that.
50:57And now, welcome to the wooden condoms girl herself, Sarah Campbell.
51:00Sarah, thank you for joining us on World News Tonight.
51:03Absolutely.
51:04So, I wanted to ask you, how does it feel to suddenly become one of the most famous faces
51:08on the planet?
51:10Absolutely.
51:12Right.
51:13Well, of course, before we get into this and how it happened, we should also say that as
51:17VP Sustainability and Climate Strategy, you are one of the key people behind the delivery
51:23of the 2026 soccer tournament.
51:26Absolutely.
51:27Right.
51:27So, there's a big story breaking in the world of soccer today, which I wanted to ask you
51:31about first.
51:32Sarah, trust me.
51:32This is going to be fine.
51:33The word is that a world-famous soccer star may be about to come out as gay, which has prompted
51:39a huge campaign online to make 2026 the moment when any other players in the world of soccer,
51:45who may also be gay, finally come out.
51:49I mean, I could maybe talk you through this a bit, if that would help.
51:56Sarah?
51:58Absolutely.
51:58So, I wanted to ask what the official F*** position is on that.
52:03Okay, here we go.
52:04Okay, here we go.
52:05So, as you know, this is not really my area.
52:08So, as you know, this is not really my area.
52:11But what I can say is that regardless of any rumors, F*** is committed to recognizing diversity,
52:21equality, and inclusion of all kinds on the world stage.
52:25Whilst opposing all forms of intrusion into any player's private life.
52:32Above all, the 2026 tournament is a safe space for players and supporters alike.
52:40Right.
52:41Okay, so I just wanted to touch on that first before we get into the wooden condoms.
52:45Christ, that was brilliant, Sarah.
52:47Absolutely.
52:49Somehow, having managed to navigate her way across the thin ice of the Mateus Savori issue,
52:54it looks as if Sarah has made it onto solid ground and actually hit her stride.
52:58Meaning that this could be the first ever methane neutral event of this size in the world.
53:03Whoa.
53:04Wow.
53:04First it was wooden condoms, now it is methane neutral.
53:08Never heard of that.
53:08Is that even a thing?
53:09Absolutely.
53:10It has to be, right?
53:11Because, you know, in the end, soccer is just a game.
53:15But the climate crisis is not.
53:17That is what 2026 is about.
53:19Well, our planet is in trouble, Ben.
53:21And if one minor slip on a podcast has allowed me to shine a light on that, then you know
53:26what?
53:27I'll take it.
53:29Sarah Campbell, VP Sustainability and Climate Strategy for 2026.
53:33And now, the methane neutral girl.
53:36Sarah, thank you for joining us.
53:37Absolutely.
53:51Thank you for joining us.
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