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00:18you want to know what it was like for me growing up in Gilead I'm ashamed to say
00:24that I believed in Gilead once I guess it's easier to accept a story even a
00:30childish one rather than believe that the people around you are monsters
00:40blessed morning Agnes in the story I'm telling I'm not really sure what year it
00:45was sorry it's hard to remember actual dates because girls were forbidden to
00:50have calendars just reading one could cost you a finger
01:04you learn to mark time in other ways I know I still had my dollhouse it looked just like our
01:11real house it had my bedroom in the dining room a wife's parlor even an attic where the Martha slept
01:33I was a plum I didn't have my period yet in my world then I made all the difference
01:43it was all we wanted and it also terrified us
01:53I know what to do now that I've got a man like you so I'm a fan it can be
02:01so cool baby don't be cool
02:06I know what to do now that I've got a man like you so I'm a fan it can be
02:14so cool baby don't be cool
02:23the commander doll was always doing very important work just like my father keeping
02:28us safe from heretics and mayday terrorists
02:46the Martha dolls were always busy but at night they would let the little girl doll sit in the kitchen
02:51with them
02:53they would make her cinnamon toast and they would all talk
03:03there is a wife doll in blue of course that would be Paula it was my new stepmother then
03:11blessed morning Agnes dear Rosa how's your leg please tell me it's better yes ma'am
03:18it's kind of you to ask praise be his mercy the high dusting is catching up with us I'm afraid
03:25yes ma'am I'll do that after the commander's meeting
03:32thank you Zilla
03:34Zilla was new her tongue was removed as punishment before she was posted with us
03:40probably for blasphemy that was a big one for some wives
03:44well she's certainly an improvement that last one we had was a chatty Cathy
03:49sometimes when I was playing with the dollhouse I would lock the Paula doll in the attic
03:55which was not nice the Paula doll would pound on the door and scream but the little girl doll
04:00would pay no attention and sometimes she would laugh
04:03is that the new skirt up then
04:12well don't you look pretty as a picture
04:15thank you
04:18mother
04:20I was worried to make you look gawky
04:22but no
04:30praise be his mercy for not making me look too gawky
04:35I'm an irritant to Paula
04:39she wants me married and gone
04:42I was born in the sinful before world
04:46please keep the counter
04:46we don't want to get down this again
04:49yes ma'am
04:53don't slouch dear
04:55slouching girls get fat husbands
05:12what's the morning is that
05:17under his eyes sweetie pie
05:18bye rosa
05:35once when we were pinks
05:37I smiled at a boy on the playground
05:39the ounce taped my mouth shut and made me stand in the dining hall for two days
05:42holding the sign for a slut
05:44that was for smiling
05:46I wonder what would happen if I kissed one
06:13I wonder what would happen if I kissed one
06:18when we became plums
06:19we started going on the field trips
06:22they were fun
06:24some parts more than others
06:36I got you
06:59come on girls
07:01come on girls
07:07Demon, demon is free, I don't want to live on charity, pleasure's ring or is it fantasy?
07:33Gross. Hold it, enough. God's justice is beautiful. I'm sorry, Aunt Vidala. Friends, these men, do you know what crime
07:45they committed? Yes, Shinamai. Rape. Aunt Vidala, that's what the red X is for, it's for rape. Praise be. Friends,
07:56these men.
07:58These horrible men, these... Rapists? You say rapists? Rapists, yes. Thank you, Shinamai. I'm not rapist. I didn't know that.
08:11Friends, it's a ghastly story. These men stole a young girl, much like yourselves. This young girl was a kind
08:18who liked being the center of attention. Spirited girl. That kind of girl often earns a violent end for herself.
08:26Praise be his judgment. Praise be his judgment.
08:29These men saw this girl. They were overcome by their urges. They came in the night and took her from
08:38her own bed.
08:39What about her guardians? Some of them were her guardians.
08:43The urges of men are terrible things. Those urges must be curbed. That is the burden that God has personally
08:51laid upon each of you.
08:52Just by existing, we were mortally dangerous to otherwise perfectly good men. They were helpless to resist us.
09:01Even us. Even us. The daughters of commanders. The most godly of girls.
09:25I was a precious flower.
09:29Then why did I sometimes feel like a prized pig?
10:03At the Aunt Lydia school, pink dresses were for little girls.
10:06Plum dresses were for older girls like us.
10:10Predestined to marry high Gilead commanders once we became eligible,
10:13which only happened if God blessed us with a period.
10:16Then we became greens and got pins.
10:22Blessed be the fruit.
10:24You're insane. The skirt looks fine.
10:26May the Lord open. Don't bother.
10:28Even God knows Paul has no taste.
10:32When did she say that?
10:34Becca was the first person I met when we moved here from Colorado.
10:38She was my best friend, except we weren't allowed to have best friends.
10:41Leont said that best friends led to keeping secrets,
10:43and secrets led to disobedience.
10:46And disobedient girls became women who were immoral, obviously.
10:49We've been sent good weather.
10:51This blessing?
10:53Do you have your address today?
10:54Keep moving, girls. Let's go.
10:56After lunch.
10:56Becca was already green.
10:58She was getting ready to be matched.
11:00She was moving on without me.
11:02But we didn't talk about that.
11:04This will be our third seamstress.
11:06My mother thinks if she gets the bodice just right,
11:09everyone will forget my dad's a dentist.
11:11Maybe you should dress as a dude.
11:13Blessed day.
11:14Blessed day.
11:15It's like good weather.
11:16But I received a joy.
11:18Very, very cute hair.
11:19Yeah, I definitely agree.
11:21Thanks.
11:21You, Martha.
11:22Must be yours, too.
11:23Seriously.
11:23My Marcus socks.
11:25I look like I have a bad head.
11:26Phunemite.
11:27Chitter-chatter, chitter-chatter.
11:28Flap your tongue around, and you're likely to lose it.
11:31Yes, Aunt Fidala.
11:32Have a graceful day, girls.
11:34More haste.
11:35Blessed be.
11:39Aunt Lydia was a legend.
11:41Blessed day, Aunt Lydia.
11:42She had been worshipped, then vilified.
11:43Thank you, Aunt Lydia.
11:44Then worshipped again.
11:46Blessed day, Aunt Lydia.
11:47In the four years since the War of Massachusetts,
11:50the purges had happened.
11:52As always, those remaining were able to shape history as they liked.
11:56Some people were hung, and some had schools named after them.
12:03At one time, we, too, were foolish, disobedient, deceived,
12:07and enslaved by all kinds of passions and envy.
12:11We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another.
12:14But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared,
12:19He saved us.
12:20Not because of the righteous things we had done,
12:23but because of His mercy.
12:26White was for the Pearl Girls.
12:28They were new arrivals from outside of Gilead.
12:31Converts were a godly struggle.
12:33We might become heirs, having the hope of eternal life.
12:35Aunt Lydia and her missionaries gathered them from all over the world.
12:39They were mostly runaways.
12:41Of course they had to be young, and possibly fertile.
12:45Weirdos.
12:52The aunts said the Pearl Girls came eager for a new start.
12:55They were even more eager to prove their godliness by telling on you to the aunts.
13:00We all knew someone who had been ratted out by a Pearl Girl.
13:04The passion of the converted.
13:07What a pain in the ass.
13:30Nice work, Constance.
13:45Pretty daisies, Hulda.
13:48Really?
13:49Thank you, Aunt Estée.
13:50They're actually Black Eyed Susan.
13:52Should you be thanking me?
13:54No.
13:55No, thank him.
13:57Aunt Estée.
13:57You're making me able, and for the flowers he made, and the thread.
14:03Pray forgive me.
14:05You are forgiven.
14:06Just be mindful around Al-Fadala.
14:11Aunt Gabbana!
14:13Blessed morning!
14:18Agnes.
14:20Aunt Lydia would like to speak with you.
14:27Come along.
14:29Agnes, get up, please.
14:31I'm sure it's good news.
14:33Back to work.
14:37Back to work.
14:38Mina.
15:07I'll be very proud.
15:07Let's join.
15:08Dead people are allowed to have statues.
15:11I have been given one while still alive.
15:15Praise be your works, Aunt Lydia.
15:17I have been prematurely petrified.
15:25Agnes Mackenzie, how the time goes by.
15:30I have been watching you for quite a while now.
15:34Why, Aunt Lydia?
15:36Soon to be eligible.
15:38May God make me truly worthy.
15:40Ah, you will be rewarded.
15:42If you are free of sin, of course.
15:45Do you know why this statue was erected?
15:50So you can always be watching over us.
15:53Yes.
15:53We inspire the world with our good works, Agnes.
15:57Do you agree?
15:58Yes, Aunt Lydia.
15:59Excellent.
16:00I have good work that needs doing.
16:02Helping a new friend feel welcome.
16:11Agnes, this is Daisy, one of my precious, precious pearls recently arrived.
16:17Daisy may be joining your class.
16:21She's going to be a plum?
16:23Perhaps.
16:24I'd like you to show her around, make her feel comfortable, be her shepherdess.
16:30It's an honor for you, Agnes.
16:33Thank you, Aunt Lydia.
16:34Daisy, be a good girl and stay with Agnes.
16:37Lambs, don't stray.
16:39Yes, Aunt Lydia.
16:41Thank you, Aunt Lydia.
16:44Wonderful.
16:45Go in grace.
16:56Blessed fruit, may the Lord open.
17:07Painting and sketching.
17:09Painting and sketching.
17:15Music classroom.
17:23Comportments this way, domestic management is upstairs with Aunt L'Oreal.
17:27Hospitality, decorating, culinary arts, fiber arts, like embroidery, lace making.
17:35You can make a tablecloth, if you dare, and scripture class.
17:40Grisby's word.
17:43Weirdo.
17:45Grisby's word.
17:46Aunt Lydia didn't tell me much about you.
17:49Did she tell you anything about me?
17:53Nothing.
17:54Ms. Agnes.
18:04Did she ask you to watch me?
18:08Of course.
18:09Ms. Agnes.
18:12To learn how to behave properly.
18:17Discipline and corrections are in the on-swing.
18:19You only go there when you earn it.
18:25And lunch.
18:26Blessed be his bounty.
18:32This is the dining room.
18:34Oh, obviously.
18:37Let's eat.
18:40You cannot be mistress of a house unless you are the mistress of yourself.
18:46Do you understand me, girls?
18:48Yes, Aunt Fatala.
18:50Yes, Aunt Fatala.
18:51It is an offense to God to waste food with poor preparation.
18:55If your meal is unacceptable, speak firmly to your Martha.
19:00Do you understand me, girls?
19:02Yes, Aunt Fatala.
19:04Friends, let us give thanks to him.
19:11And?
19:12God is great.
19:14God is good.
19:15Thank you, God, for our food.
19:17Highest blessings we are fed.
19:19Give us, Lord, our daily bread.
19:21Amen.
19:24Girls?
19:26You may socialize.
19:42What is all this, then?
19:44This is Daisy.
19:46Aunt Lydia asked me to make her feel welcome.
19:48Hey.
19:50It's a blessing to meet you all.
19:53Get out.
20:03We're enjoying very fine weather.
20:06By God's blessing.
20:11It's a high-pressure system, I think.
20:14Daisy, pray.
20:16Where do you hail from?
20:17Toronto.
20:19Canada.
20:20Miss.
20:21Shuname.
20:22Oh.
20:24That's a beautiful name.
20:25It is.
20:28I imagine Canada is very different from Gilead.
20:32Toronto has been forsaken by God and defiled by Satan.
20:37It is suffocating in sin.
20:42So do you miss it?
20:46I pray it will be swallowed whole by the earth.
20:54May he hear your prayer.
20:56I pray it will be swallowed whole by the earth.
21:05May he hear your prayer.
21:06Yes.
21:08Yes.
21:09Excuse me, my God.
21:10I have it here.
21:11Strawberry and vanilla.
21:13Hold up, we'll take you.
21:15Yeah, I can make you a swirl cone.
21:17I'm sort of an expert.
21:19Aunt Lydia urged me to stay with Miss Agnes.
21:21Ice cream is definitely one of his miracles.
21:24And you wouldn't want to insult God.
21:29You should get some.
21:31Come on.
21:48They stuck you with the pearl girl.
21:49What did you do wrong?
21:50She didn't do anything.
21:52This is unprecedented.
21:54So what did Aunt Lydia say?
21:56She said she's new here.
21:58I'm just supposed to be a shepherdess.
22:00I don't like her.
22:01She didn't seem very nice.
22:02Well, you can't trust her.
22:03She'll tell Aunt Lydia everything.
22:04She's a pearl girl.
22:07Becca?
22:08Your marker is here to collect you.
22:11Yes, Honesté.
22:15My fitting.
22:17Pray for me.
22:18I wish I was green this season.
22:20I wish we all were together.
22:24Starting to move very, very fast.
22:27It's a dress.
22:28Not a husband.
22:31Not yet.
22:32Well, I can't wait to have a husband.
22:34Becca.
22:34Hurry.
22:34Come along.
22:35Shake a leg.
22:37I'm going Grace.
22:40I'm Grace.
22:40I'm Grace.
22:41I go.
22:58You should tell on her.
22:59You're a pearl girl.
23:01For what?
23:02Just say that she gossips or has a foul tongue.
23:05Sure.
23:05Or that she ran off to go get ice cream.
23:07That could be possible.
23:08She'd be punished.
23:09You're an awful person.
23:11Stop.
23:12I didn't say to make her a gender traitor or anything.
23:15Just something small.
23:19Agnes.
23:20I know that you are very, very nice.
23:22But it's time to plumb up and get her before she gets you.
23:25Oh, so...
23:33Honestly, I'm doing anything.
23:34I'm doing a mess.
23:35I don't want to get you.
23:36I don't want to get you down.
23:39Why do you want to get you down?
23:40I don't want to get you down.
23:44I don't want to get you down there.
23:46No.
23:46I don't want to get you down there.
23:54God never sends us more than we can bear.
23:57Sometimes we just get close though.
24:02Becca had her final fitting.
24:04She must be happy to be getting a new dress.
24:08I'm sure she looks perfect.
24:10She's a beautiful girl.
24:13She could get an offer from a commander at the dance.
24:17Her dad could.
24:20She could marry one who lives in Wyoming or anywhere.
24:25Not Maryland.
24:27She won't move far if she marries a high commander.
24:30They need to live near the capitol.
24:32She could marry one who doesn't let his wife have any friends.
24:38Try not to think about it.
24:41Rosa, how did you meet your husband?
24:45Before, I mean.
24:50Only met in a bookstore.
24:54Almost everyone we knew then was meeting online on Tinder, Bumble.
25:00We met in the cookbook section.
25:02What's Tinder?
25:05It's not something you're ever going to need to know, Pumpkin.
25:10Blessed evening, ma'am.
25:14The commander will be home Thursday.
25:16I have some things for the Marthas to do.
25:19You said your leg was better.
25:22It is, ma'am.
25:25Good.
25:26Head up to the third floor.
25:28We'll start there.
25:31Yes, ma'am.
25:41I grew up riding when a horse would come up late and my father would shoot it.
25:48It was hard.
25:51But it was the merciful thing to do.
25:54Haven't I told you that story?
25:57No, mother.
26:03I learned that sometimes you have to be hard.
26:07Sometimes you have to cut off weak branches and bothersome ones.
26:12You'll understand when you're running your own household.
26:17기로 Steve sécuritéворke
26:20Bye.
26:21Bye.
26:28Bye.
26:36Bye.
27:14Assembly time, my plums. Two lines. Two lines.
27:18Posture, Agnes. I'm sorry, Ophidala.
27:27Plums, please assemble in the dining hall.
27:29Hurry along. Pigs, to your classes.
27:32Chow-chow.
27:55Chow-chow.
27:58That's the date, Ms. Agnes.
28:03Chow-chow.
28:20It was a day.
28:22How was it?
28:24May the Lord open.
28:25Fine.
28:27Shut up.
28:28It was fine.
28:30I feel like puffy sleeves.
28:39Blessed day, graceful friends.
28:41We need your energy because we have some difficult work to do today for him.
28:53Are you ready?
28:54Yes, blessed day.
29:05Oh, someone's in trouble.
29:08Good.
29:09He's the gross one.
29:11This man is a sinner.
29:13Hidden amongst us.
29:14He was found touching himself, abusing himself, on school grounds.
29:20Gilead trusted him to protect you, God's most precious girls.
29:27Instead, he chose wickedness.
29:29We do not play with the power of creation.
29:33What are they going to do to him?
29:35Quiet.
29:36He deserves our judgment.
29:37Do not relish in it.
29:39You are not blameless, girls.
29:42Shame upon any of you that tempt a man.
29:45Now, this is your decision.
29:49You will have to make many difficult decisions when you are wives.
29:54So what do you say, girls?
29:57Should this man go unpunished?
30:02Or should he pay?
30:05Quiet!
30:06Quiet!
30:08Quiet!
30:11Quiet!
30:11Quiet!
30:13Quiet!
30:15Quiet!
30:19Quiet!
30:30Quiet!
30:35Quiet!
30:38Quiet!
30:49Oh, my God.
30:53Oh, my God.
30:54Oh, my God.
30:54Oh, my God.
30:57Oh, my God.
31:00Justice, justice, justice, justice.
31:03Oh, my God.
31:05Frank, are you okay?
31:06I'm fine.
31:09Grace, be your concern.
31:31Daisy?
31:32Daisy?
31:36Fuck.
31:37What the fuck was that?
31:39He broke the rules.
31:40They cut it off.
31:42I saw his arm.
31:43Jesus Christ, he was fucking wide awake.
31:45For fuck's sake.
31:47Jesus, what the fuck?
31:52I'm sorry.
31:54Agnes.
31:55Agnes.
31:57Don't.
31:58Don't tell.
32:00Oh, sweetie.
32:02Agnes, help Daisy get cleaned up.
32:26They told us about assemblies.
32:31I didn't think it'd be like that.
32:33I didn't think it'd be like that.
32:34Like what?
32:45Thank you for taking care of me.
32:50When Aunt Lydia gives you an assignment, you do it.
32:55Miss Agnes, I am so sorry.
32:57I committed blasphemy.
33:00You were unwell.
33:02I took his name in vain.
33:04Agnes, there's no excuse.
33:08I know I must confess.
33:11Okay.
33:14Aunt Lydia is in charge of punishing pro girls.
33:19Okay.
33:22Praise be her discipline.
33:26I need to learn.
33:33Do you think she'll cut out my tongue?
33:37There are stories.
33:39Right now.
33:40Not for this.
33:42Probably not.
33:45Okay.
33:48If it's God's will.
33:50If it's God's will.
33:52If it's God's will.
33:53I can't.
33:55Agnes, I can't.
33:56It's okay.
33:57You don't have to.
34:00You don't have to.
34:03It was just us.
34:19God sees our sins.
34:27We'll pray together.
34:29We'll show contrition.
34:33God is merciful.
34:36Beyond's not so much sometimes.
34:41Are you sure?
34:46Our secret.
34:54Shunemite said Daisy was dangerous.
34:57She was right, of course.
35:00She said you should never, ever trust a pro girl.
35:03But that was exactly what I did.
35:15blessed night, my girls.
35:19May God protect you.
35:23I don't know.
36:03I don't know.
36:24This is Radio Free Boston.
36:26If you're hoping for some tunes, you're in the right place.
36:29For our May Day heroes behind the lines, tonight's messages are on channel 99.2.
36:34And remember folks, don't let the bastards cry.
36:39Red Dog, Green House, White Bar, you have packages waiting.
36:44If you're in the Paperclip Club, sit tight.
36:47That's it for tonight.
36:50Bye.
37:00Bye.
37:04Bye.
37:06, bye.
37:19Oh, my life.
37:22It's changing every day.
37:26Every person's wedding.
37:33Oh my dreams, never quite as it seems, never quite as it seems, and I've felt like this before, nothing
37:51and even more, because it came from me.
38:00When I open up and see, the person fall and here is me, a different way to be.
38:34It was still cold, but I remember the nights were getting shorter. The shorebirds were back. You could hear them
38:41really high up. A sure sign of spring.
38:46I didn't know who my mom was yet. My real mom. That would come soon. I had no idea how
38:55much that would change things.
38:58Without calendars, you learn to mark time in other ways. It was when I became eligible. And when I met
39:05Daisy, it was when it all started.
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