- 2 days ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:28Mr. Big,
00:00:29hoist the song girl over his shoulders. Girl, I'm going to toss you into the next
00:00:34lifetime. Suddenly, he gasps from breath. He clenches his throat and falls to the ground.
00:00:40Chaz pulls himself up and launches a nuclear missile, sending it straight for Brent Windmill
00:00:47and Ground Zero. Kitty Chesney Swimming Pool.
00:00:53Time for bear killing. Okay, Mom. Goodnight, sweetie. Goodnight, Mom.
00:01:11Thong Girl and Boxer Brief Boy fly high above the city in pursuit of a nuclear missile.
00:01:17Suddenly, they spot it. Its shiny metallic surface glistens from the reflection of the full moon.
00:01:23Without any thought to his own safety, Boxer Brief Boy jumps on top of the missile and rides
00:01:30it down toward the unsuspecting citizens of Brent Windmill. To be continued.
00:01:36Ah, crap. What a rip-off, stupid comic book.
00:01:48Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo!
00:01:58Kenny!
00:01:59See you next time.
00:02:41See you next time.
00:03:09See you next time.
00:03:53I told you, Jake.
00:03:54A piece of cake.
00:03:55That bank was primed for our nefarious crime.
00:03:59Good one, Georgie.
00:04:02All right, all righty.
00:04:03Put a lid on it.
00:04:04I'm sitting here with stinking Beavis and Butthead.
00:04:07Jeez, everybody in this town thinks they're a songwriter.
00:04:09Cut us a break, Benji.
00:04:11Come on, we're going to be famous someday.
00:04:13You know what?
00:04:13If you guys would spend more time thinking about your bank robbing than thinking up songs,
00:04:18we'd be millionaires by now.
00:04:21I don't know, Benji.
00:04:22There's at least 10,000 smackers in here.
00:04:25Not a bad day's work if you ask me.
00:04:28Yeah, well, who's asking you?
00:04:29And the best part is, we didn't get caught.
00:04:32That new chief of police is so busy handing out parking tickets, he's forgot all about us
00:04:36old-fashioned bank robbers.
00:04:40Right about that, Georgie.
00:04:41We're on a roll.
00:04:43Ain't no stopping us now.
00:04:45What was that?
00:04:46I'll take a look.
00:04:52What the?
00:04:54Where'd you go?
00:04:55Jake?
00:04:57Hey, guys.
00:04:58Going my way?
00:04:59Oh, crap.
00:05:00It's Thong Girl.
00:05:01At your service.
00:05:03Now, be a good little bank robber and pull over, would you?
00:05:05I don't think so, Thong Girl.
00:05:07You're about to become roadkill.
00:05:09That's where you're wrong, little man.
00:05:11You've just reached a dead end.
00:05:13Oh, yeah?
00:05:13Well, hold on, sister.
00:05:15I think this is your style.
00:05:18That's what you get when you don't buckle up.
00:05:24Damn.
00:05:25Let's go teach that broad a lesson.
00:05:31Go kick her thong butt, Georgie.
00:05:33My pleasure, Benji.
00:05:35You took away my songwriting partner, and just when we were about to make it big, too.
00:05:39Now you're going to have to pay.
00:05:49Here's what I wrote Georgie, if you do wrong, you'll answer to the thong.
00:05:59This is the end of the road for you thong girl, you're about to become a hood ornament.
00:06:16You should have bought the extended warranty Benji.
00:06:24We'll take it from here thong girl, come on.
00:06:29You'll have plenty of time to write hit songs where you're going.
00:06:35Say thong girl, would you like a lift?
00:06:38No thanks officer, it's a nice night for flying.
00:06:40I'll catch up with you later.
00:06:43Boy I tell you, just one time I'd like to...
00:06:46Keep dreaming O'Malley, you wouldn't know what to do with it anyway.
00:06:50That's one class act that thong girl.
00:06:57I can't see her.
00:07:34Hey, wake up, you two losers. Time for roll call.
00:07:42Aw, gee, Sally, ain't you got no class?
00:07:46Sorry, boss. I had too many beans for supper last night.
00:07:50I'll say you stink like a sewer hole.
00:07:52No, boss, that is a sewer. It's coming from that toilet over there.
00:08:06Sally, you're a genius.
00:08:08Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
00:08:14ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
00:08:16ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
00:08:16ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
00:08:16ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
00:08:17ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
00:08:20ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
00:08:20ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
00:08:20ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
00:08:25ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
00:08:26ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
00:08:29ha ha ha
00:08:38Psst, Sally, wake up.
00:08:41Yeah, boss.
00:08:43It's time to go.
00:08:58Geronimo!
00:08:59Geronimo!
00:09:03Come on in, Sally.
00:09:05The water's fine.
00:09:23All right, ladies.
00:09:24I'm going to go.
00:09:45I'm going to go.
00:10:21Hey, dweebs.
00:10:22Uh, hey, Lana.
00:10:26What you doing?
00:10:27I'm looking for a case file for People vs. Palermo.
00:10:31There are some interesting similarities between that and the Chaz Chernobyl case.
00:10:35And by the way, dweebs, would you please quit looking at my skirt?
00:10:39Sorry, Lana.
00:10:42Hey, Lana, I thought you were through with Chaz since you sent him away for life to the state pen.
00:10:47I want to be sure he stays there.
00:10:49He's got the best lawyer's money can buy, and I don't want him getting off on appeals.
00:10:54Sure, sure.
00:10:55Hey, Lana, I want to thank you for getting me this job in the DA's office as a part of
00:11:00my plea agreement.
00:11:01Well, dweebs, your testimony was crucial in building my case against Chaz and Mr. Big.
00:11:07Well, you had first-hand knowledge of Big's evil plot to create a nuclear missile, destroy country music, and the
00:11:13world as we know it.
00:11:15Well, if it weren't for you, Tim McGraw and George Strait would be nothing more than fond memories in the
00:11:21Country Music Hall of Fame.
00:11:22And don't forget how we saved Kenny Chesney.
00:11:26Oh, yeah. I still haven't forgiven you for that one.
00:11:30Sorry, Lana.
00:11:32Hey, Lana, there's a really great arthropod exhibit at the Museum of Natural History this weekend. Would you like to
00:11:38go?
00:11:39Uh, gee, dweebs, I'd love to, but my Aunt Millie's coming in from across the pond this weekend.
00:11:45Your Aunt Millie from Chile?
00:11:46No, silly. My Aunt Millie from Piccadilly.
00:11:48From London, England?
00:11:49The very same.
00:11:50But I thought she died.
00:11:51No, you're thinking of my Aunt Mary from Londonderry.
00:11:53The one that's quite contrary?
00:11:55That's my Aunt Mary.
00:11:56Oh, sure, sure. Well, anyway, I thought maybe we could, like, get some food and go to the...
00:12:00I'm sorry, dweebs. It would never work out between us.
00:12:03With my job as assistant district attorney and my commitment to ridding the world of scum-sucking, law-breaking vermin
00:12:10like Chaz Chernobyl,
00:12:12I just don't have time for a relationship.
00:12:16Oh, Lana.
00:12:18I'm such a loser.
00:12:20And then there's that.
00:12:24It's the mayor.
00:12:28Hello, Mr. Mayor.
00:12:29Lana.
00:12:30Mayor Richard Boner here.
00:12:32Yes, yes, well, I've just gotten some bad news.
00:12:36Apparently, Chaz Chernobyl has broken out of the state penitentiary.
00:12:39That's right. And he's taken over the local television station and is about to broadcast a message that concerns you.
00:12:47Roger that, Mr. Mayor. I knew those prison walls wouldn't be enough to hold Chaz Chernobyl.
00:12:53Be careful, Lana. That Chaz is one slippery scoundrel.
00:13:00By the way, Lana, what are you wearing?
00:13:05Well, Mr. Mayor, I'm wearing a lovely two-piece ensemble with silk camisole over a pretty pink lace brassiere and
00:13:13matching panties.
00:13:15Oh, and Gucci open-toed shoes with a velvet strap.
00:13:19Perfect for a hectic day at the office or a night out in the town.
00:13:32Hello? Mr. Mayor, are you there?
00:13:38Yes, well, that's good. Yes, yes.
00:13:40Well, Chaz has just come on the TV.
00:13:43I think you should see what he has to say.
00:13:45I'm on it, sir.
00:13:53So the bartender says to the donkey,
00:13:55your ass can stay, but the lawyer has to go.
00:14:02Enough of the small talk.
00:14:03This is what I want.
00:14:20Oh, Mrs. Prist, you're going to look lovely at the Governor's Ball.
00:14:24Well, ladies, giving no thought whatsoever to my own personal safety,
00:14:29and thinking only of my darling little Kenny Chesney,
00:14:33and all those hapless hat-wearing country stars below down in Brentwoodville,
00:14:37I broke free from Thorn Girl's embrace
00:14:40and plunged headfirst through the clouds
00:14:42and caught that nuclear missile with my bare hands,
00:14:45frantically searching for the button to disable it.
00:14:48Oh, my goodness.
00:14:50Weren't you terrified?
00:14:51Terrified?
00:14:52Honey, President George W. Bush said we have no time for terror.
00:14:56I was petrified.
00:14:58But all I could think about was Paul Little Kenny
00:15:00and all those country music stars.
00:15:02So what happened next?
00:15:04Well, honey, I had to think faster.
00:15:06It started to have been Lights Out in Ash Vegas.
00:15:09Yes.
00:15:10What could I do?
00:15:11I rode that rocket straight down in a Kenny Chesney swimming pool,
00:15:1620 feet deep.
00:15:17Oh, honey, it's shaped like a Grammy Award.
00:15:20Built-in jacuzzi and a personal masseur named Raul.
00:15:26Okay.
00:15:29Well, anyway, there was so much chlorine in the darn thing,
00:15:32I think it disabled it because it stopped ticking.
00:15:34And thereby rendering the missile harmless
00:15:37and saving the world at the end.
00:15:40Andy, I've heard that story hundreds of times.
00:15:43Every time it's something different.
00:15:44Why don't you tell us what really happened?
00:15:46Oh, what really happened, Miss Potty Pooper?
00:15:49Potty Pooper, Potty Pooper.
00:15:52Every party needs a pooper.
00:15:54That's why we invited you.
00:15:56Potty Pooper.
00:15:57Well, what really happened, huh, Miss Potty Pooper?
00:16:00Well, what really happened was...
00:16:05Andy Andrews hairdresser to the country stars.
00:16:07Andy, it's Lana.
00:16:09Turn on the TV quick.
00:16:10Chester Noble's escaped from prison
00:16:12and he's taken over the airway.
00:16:14No, turn on the television.
00:16:17That's funny.
00:16:22I want $10 million delivered to a Swiss bank account by noon tomorrow
00:16:27or I will wreak havoc the likes of which this little town has never seen before.
00:16:33Yeah, I will.
00:16:36Oh, oh, yeah, one more thing.
00:16:38If you happen to be listening,
00:16:40Assistant District Attorney Lana lay on me.
00:16:43I would like you to deliver the loot personally.
00:16:46And why don't you bring your little hairdresser boy with you?
00:16:54Chester Noble, signing off.
00:17:05Oh, whatever are we going to do, girl?
00:17:08We're going to do what any self-respecting superhero would do in a time of crisis.
00:17:12Oh, apple martinis and a pedicure?
00:17:15No, silly.
00:17:16We're going to fight.
00:17:18Right on.
00:17:19Be at my place in 1800 hours and we'll figure out a plan.
00:17:23Roger that, T.G.
00:17:24Oh, in handy?
00:17:25Yeah, girl.
00:17:26Don't forget your cape this time.
00:17:32Why don't you bring your little hairdresser boy with you?
00:17:39Chester Noble, signing off.
00:18:00Yes, Miss Capri.
00:18:02Get me Chaz Chernobyl.
00:18:15Come on.
00:18:35Always a pleasure to see you, babe.
00:18:50Fellas. Now, Lawanda, is that any way to treat an old friend?
00:18:55Cut the crap, Chaz. Big never trusted you and neither do I.
00:18:59As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be surprised if you had something to do with putting that MSG in
00:19:03his beef chow mein.
00:19:06Besides me, you were the only one that knew he was deathly allergic to it.
00:19:09Why, Lawanda, how could you think I would do anything to hurt my business partner and long-time friend?
00:19:15Big! He was like a soul brother to me.
00:19:19The only soul you've got, Chaz, is on the bottom of your shoe.
00:19:22Hey! Hey, I didn't come here to have you insult me.
00:19:26What's on your mind, Lawanda?
00:19:28Well, as much as I hate to admit it, Chaz, you and I need each other
00:19:31in order to carry out the plan that Big set into motion before his untimely demise.
00:19:37This town is being overrun by white cracker hat-wearing country music stars and it's gotta stop.
00:19:43How many black country music artists do you see on the charts now?
00:19:48That's right, none.
00:19:51There's that cowboy Troy. He didn't mix country and rap and came up with crap.
00:19:56And Charlie Pryde sold out a long time ago.
00:19:59He should've named his song, Kiss a White Anglo-Saxon's Ass Good Morning.
00:20:05This music business is in sad shape.
00:20:08And I intend on giving it a well-deserved afro makeover.
00:20:12If you know what I'm saying.
00:20:13Uh-huh.
00:20:16Shut up, you moron.
00:20:20So what do you want from me?
00:20:22I want you to keep that little wafer thong girl out of my way.
00:20:25I want you to break her down, box her up and put her in a pretty little package and bring
00:20:28her to me.
00:20:30It's time I exact some revenge on that little bitch for taking my man out.
00:20:34But I thought you said it was the MSG that did Big in.
00:20:37That may be. But if it wasn't for thong girl, Big would've realized his dream of world supremacy a long
00:20:45time ago.
00:20:47She'd been after him for a while.
00:20:49Never smart enough to stop him, just slow him down.
00:20:53Just because she's the assistant DA and a crime-fighting superhero
00:20:57doesn't give her the right to harass a reputable businessman just trying to make an honest living.
00:21:04Well, Luanda, I wouldn't exactly call what we do earning an honest living.
00:21:09Big was gonna blow up the world if he didn't get his way.
00:21:12He wasn't gonna go through with it.
00:21:14And as I recall, it was you that pressed the button that set off the missile.
00:21:17Yeah, and it would've worked too if it weren't for that little bikini bimbo with a little hairdresser boy.
00:21:27Alright, Luanda, tell me what you got planned.
00:21:36Bye.
00:21:38Yeah.
00:21:39He was going down.
00:21:46It's down, boy.
00:21:47Ahhh!
00:22:06Oh, oh, Papi!
00:22:10Girlfriend, you didn't tell me you have a boyfriend.
00:22:13That is an ancient fertility statue that the Zimbuki tribe gave me when I rescued their
00:22:20chief from the hands of slave traders.
00:22:23It's supposed to enrich your life and make you wealthy beyond belief.
00:22:26Well it's working, my panties are moist.
00:22:31Listen, Superman here and I are going to go get acquainted.
00:22:34No time for that now, Andy.
00:22:36We've got to decide what to do about Chaz.
00:22:39Where is he?
00:22:39I'll pulverize him.
00:22:41I'll fight him with one pulp behind my back.
00:22:42I'll fight with my eyes closed.
00:22:45Ralph!
00:22:45Ah!
00:22:54What is it?
00:22:56It's a note.
00:22:58What does it say?
00:23:01It says, Dear Assistant DA Lana Leonmi, AKA Thong Girl, and Gay Sidekick Foxer Brief Boy.
00:23:09I resemble that remark.
00:23:11My new partner in crime, Lawanda Capri, AKA the Dark Widow, and I request the pleasure
00:23:18of your company this evening at a special dinner that I have arranged, especially in your honor.
00:23:24There is a little matter of ten million dollars that we need to discuss.
00:23:29The fate of this wretched little town lies solely in your hands, so don't be late.
00:23:35Meet us at the old stockyards on 2nd Avenue by the river at 7pm sharp with the loot.
00:23:42And come in costume, yours truly, Chaz Chernobyl.
00:23:46It's a costume party.
00:23:48Oh, I want to go with Dr. Ruth.
00:23:50Oh, now this is fabulous.
00:23:52No, the village people.
00:23:54Why am I gay?
00:23:56No, Andy, you goofball.
00:23:58He wants us to come in our superhero outfit.
00:24:01Oh, right.
00:24:02I knew that.
00:24:03Okay, we better prepare.
00:24:06It's been a while since we've used our superhero powers.
00:24:10Do you remember what I taught you?
00:24:12Mmm, help old ladies across the street and don't fart in elevators?
00:24:15No, silly.
00:24:16I mean about how to fly.
00:24:18Oh, it's a piece of cake.
00:24:20Put your left arm here and your right arm there.
00:24:23Flap them up and down and then you're in the air.
00:24:26You do the super...
00:24:26Okay, okay, never mind.
00:24:28Why don't you go suit up.
00:24:30We'll take a quick lesson and then we'll go fight the enemy.
00:24:34You got it.
00:24:40It's all coming back to me now, thong girl.
00:24:43I just bend my legs like this and...
00:24:47Maybe we need to work on the glide a little more, Triple B.
00:24:50Oh, diddly diddly dee.
00:24:52I'll never get the hang of it.
00:24:54Oh, sure you will.
00:24:55You remember when you were a little boy and your dad taught you how to ride a bike
00:24:58and you thought you'd never lose those training wheels.
00:25:01And then one magical day, he let go.
00:25:04And before you knew it, you were pedaling so fast your little legs ached.
00:25:08And you were gliding down that hill in no time.
00:25:11Andy?
00:25:11I can fly, I can fly, I can fly, I'm lying!
00:25:16Andy!
00:25:17I love that story!
00:25:19Hey!
00:25:20TG!
00:25:21You were right!
00:25:22It's just like riding a bicycle!
00:25:25Now let's go kick some bad boy butt!
00:25:49She ain't gonna show.
00:25:52What?
00:25:53What did you say?
00:25:54I said she ain't gonna show.
00:25:57She'll show, alright.
00:25:59She's too much of a do-gooder not to show.
00:26:02The future of her beloved music city depends on it.
00:26:06She knows I'll blow this little town to smithereens if she crosses me.
00:26:11And just how do you plan on doing that, may I ask?
00:26:16Sally, if you please.
00:26:36Come.
00:26:40Where did you get that?
00:26:42It's left over for Big's plot to take over the world.
00:26:46I've kept it hidden in a safe place, knowing that I would need it again someday.
00:26:52And what are you gonna do with it?
00:26:54Well, I was kinda hoping you would know.
00:26:58How the hell should I know?
00:27:00Well, I thought maybe Big might have showed you the plans for the Doomsday Bomb.
00:27:05Are you kidding?
00:27:07I was just his hoe.
00:27:09You'd never trust me with information like that.
00:27:13The only thing I was good for was a piece of ass and a good back rub.
00:27:18I was nothing more to him than a high dollar hooker.
00:27:22Really?
00:27:23Maybe you had a good reason yourself to lace his food with MSG.
00:27:27You knew if he kicked the bucket, you could step right in and take over the big empire.
00:27:37You better be glad I need you alive, you little rat-faced bastard.
00:27:40Otherwise, I'd rip you to ribbons right here and now.
00:27:42Okay, okay.
00:27:43I get the point.
00:27:45Everybody, just calm down, alright?
00:27:47We need to try and work on this together.
00:27:52I may have resented the fact that Big was using me.
00:27:57But I must admit, he treated me kind and he gave me everything my heart desired.
00:28:02In his own cold, calculated way, I really think he loved me.
00:28:07A girl kind of dreams of houses and babies and all that normal stuff.
00:28:13I ain't no different than any other woman in that respect.
00:28:17But now that he's gone, I've got a score to settle.
00:28:22And a mighty powerful lust for power.
00:28:26And don't you forget the deal we made once all of this is over.
00:28:29We split the loot 50-50.
00:28:32I'll run this town and you take over the music bits.
00:28:35Yeah.
00:28:38And then it's goodbye Kenny Chesney.
00:28:40Well that's one thing we have in common.
00:28:43I hate that guy.
00:28:47So what about the bomb?
00:28:49How are you gonna use it if you don't know how to build it?
00:28:52I have an ace in the hole.
00:28:55There's only one person in this town that knows how to build that bomb.
00:28:58And how are you gonna get him to do it?
00:29:01By acquiring something of value.
00:29:04Something that he treasures.
00:29:07And here it comes now.
00:29:10Boys, let him in.
00:29:26Oh, hey, easy big fella.
00:29:28Oh, that's the spot.
00:29:33Welcome, thong girl.
00:29:35Forgive me for not inviting you sooner, but I was, I guess you'd say, detained.
00:29:39You are right where you belong, Chaz.
00:29:42In a steel cage designed especially for animals like you.
00:29:47And that's just where I'm sending you back to.
00:29:50Please, please, thong girl.
00:29:52This is an evening for libation and camaraderie.
00:29:55I invited you here to meet my new business partner.
00:29:59Thong girl, meet your worst nightmare.
00:30:04Luanda Capri, alias the Dark Widow.
00:30:09I believe we've met, Miss Capri.
00:30:12I thought we should meet here on Common Ground while we still had a chance to resolve this little issue.
00:30:19Did you bring the loot, thong girl?
00:30:22No, actually I brought something much better.
00:30:25You remember my crime fighting assistant, Boxer Brief Boy?
00:30:29Of course I do. How could I forget?
00:30:32How are you, little fella?
00:30:34I'm fabulous, which is more than I can say for you when thong girl gets done cleaning your clock.
00:30:40We'll just see about that.
00:30:43Say, what have you got there?
00:30:46We'll have this little ol' thing.
00:30:47This is a little gift box that I thought might come in handy for the long trip you're about to
00:30:52take.
00:30:53You know, back to the state pen.
00:30:55Why, that is so thoughtful of you.
00:30:58Well, let's see. We have some nail clippers.
00:31:02We must always practice personal hygiene wherever our path in life may lead us.
00:31:09And we go, ooh, we got a little nail file.
00:31:12Not for the prison bars, but for those rodent claws of yours.
00:31:17Ooh, a book of crossword puzzles. Beginner's edition.
00:31:22But don't let that scare you. You can skip over the big words like rat.
00:31:28Ooh, and lovely, lovely little fruitcake.
00:31:32Mmm, you can share it with your cellmates.
00:31:35I hear those inmates just love getting a little piece of fruitcake.
00:31:39You are so lucky. I'm jealous.
00:31:42And what prison stint would be complete without a big ol' heapin' helpin' a KY?
00:31:48Slip-slide in away. Bye-bye, Chaz.
00:31:51Oh, my goodness. And what's this?
00:31:54Why, it's your very own personal can of whoop-ass!
00:32:06Whoop-ass!
00:32:13Why, it's your very own personal can of whoop-ass!
00:32:35Whoop-whoop-whoop-ass!
00:32:37Whoopens!
00:32:41Where's your very own personal can of
00:32:45Whoopens!
00:32:54Looking for me, thongirl?
00:33:17I love you, fongii
00:33:22I am good of you, FYRI
00:33:23I love you, fongii
00:33:42You may have superior martial arts skills, Dark Widow.
00:33:46And a better costume.
00:33:47Hey, whose side are you on?
00:33:50Sorry TG.
00:33:51But you're no match for my new and improved, soon-to-be patented, ASSIRS WAITER.
00:34:33Hello, Dweeble here.
00:34:36Why hello there little buddy, remember me?
00:34:40I'm sorry, I don't accept phone calls from telephone solicitors.
00:34:45I'm on the Federal Do Not Call Registry.
00:34:48I am not selling anything.
00:34:51But I do have a deal for you.
00:34:53Who is this?
00:34:55Oh, that really hurts.
00:34:57Don't you remember your old pal, Chazzaroo?
00:35:01You and me, we were partners once.
00:35:03We were never partners.
00:35:05You tricked me into making a bomb and betraying the only woman I ever loved.
00:35:11I hate you, Chazz Tremnoble.
00:35:14Hey, hey, hey.
00:35:15Is that any way to talk to the man who is going to make you immortal?
00:35:21What do you mean?
00:35:22I am offering you the chance to finally see that bomb of yours do what it was meant to do.
00:35:28This is your chance for you to fulfill your destiny.
00:35:31You're a crazy lunatic.
00:35:33I ended up in prison, thanks to you.
00:35:36And they drew me in a cell with a child molester and he made me dress up like a little
00:35:40girl and sing the Barney song.
00:35:43You know, I love you, you love me, we're a happy family.
00:35:50All right, all right.
00:35:50Enough already.
00:35:52I have someone here that wants to say hello to you.
00:35:55Say hello to your nerdy boyfriend, thong girl.
00:35:58Twiz, it's Lana.
00:35:59Don't you dare listen to him.
00:36:01He's crazy.
00:36:02Now listen up here, geek boy.
00:36:04If you don't get over here on the double and show me how to finish building this bomb,
00:36:07then I am going to stretch out your little girlfriend until you won't be able to see her when she
00:36:11turns sideways.
00:36:12Don't do it, dweebs.
00:36:14Have you heard one hair on her head?
00:36:17I'll...
00:36:18You'll what?
00:36:19Just get over here, pronto, or else it's so long, little miss thong.
00:36:25I'll be right over.
00:36:33Hello?
00:36:35Excuse me, sir.
00:36:36Can you give me your address so I can map quest you?
00:36:40Ah, geez.
00:36:41Just stay put.
00:36:43I'll have Sally come and pick you up.
00:36:45Sure, sure, sure, sure.
00:36:46That would be...
00:36:48Sally, go pick up the nerd boy in the Chasmobile and make it quick.
00:36:52Okay, boss.
00:36:53I like dweeble.
00:36:55Just get going.
00:36:57Oh, and Sally, by the way, stop by Mayor Boner's office on your way back.
00:37:02He'll have a little package waiting for you.
00:37:05You do it, boss.
00:37:09The mayor is about to prove his loyalty to his number one assistant, D.A.
00:37:23Mayor Richard Boner here.
00:37:26Hello there, Mr. Mayor.
00:37:28Kaz Ted Noble here.
00:37:29May I call you Dick Mayor Boner?
00:37:32No, you may not.
00:37:35What do you want?
00:37:36Do me a flavor, Mayor, and go to your computer and type in www.chazcam.com and tell me what
00:37:44you see.
00:37:44Oh, Chaz Chernobyl, you are a despicable coward.
00:37:49I know you are, but what am I?
00:37:51Just do it, will ya?
00:37:59Chaz, the criminal mind never ceases to amaze me.
00:38:05What evil lurks in the shadows of that sick, twisted brain of yours?
00:38:13Things you don't even want to know about.
00:38:16So stop your jabbering and do what I tell ya.
00:38:19I want you to go to the bank and fill a briefcase with 10 million in unmarked bills and have
00:38:25it ready in one hour.
00:38:26My assistant will be by to pick it up at 10 p.m. sharp.
00:38:30And no tricks, Dick.
00:38:32Or else the bimbo gets it.
00:38:34Who are you calling a bimbo?
00:38:38Not you, the other bimbo.
00:38:41I can't possibly gather that much money in one hour.
00:38:48Dark Widow, if you please.
00:38:51With pleasure, Chaz.
00:39:05Time for the seventh inning stretch, Doughboy.
00:39:09Doughboy.
00:39:10Dough.
00:39:11Dough.
00:39:11Dough.
00:39:13Dough.
00:39:14Dough.
00:39:15Dough.
00:39:16Dough.
00:39:18Dough.
00:39:19Dough.
00:39:28O-O-Oh!
00:39:31What sort of sick, twisted mind would create such an implement of torture?
00:39:38Well, you ain't seen nothing yet!
00:39:41Just wait till I get the big machine operational
00:39:44and then there will be some real hell to pay.
00:39:46So just do what I say and get me the loot and I'll talk to you again tomorrow.
00:39:53I got more demands for you.
00:39:57Nighty-night. Sleep tight.
00:40:01Don't let the Betty Bugs bite.
00:40:09Oh! Humanity!
00:40:25What is taking them so long? They should have been back by now.
00:40:28You'll never succeed in taking over Music City, Chaz.
00:40:31The Mayor's probably on the phone right now with the Governor to send reinforcements.
00:40:35They'll have you surrounded in no time.
00:40:37We'll just see about that, thong girl.
00:40:43It's about time. What took you so long?
00:40:46Dweeble has the most awesome Pokemon collection, boss.
00:40:49Y'all save it. He even has the original Pikachu.
00:40:52Never mind that. Did you get the loot?
00:40:54Oh, yeah. The Mayor had it ready and everything.
00:40:57And he had a message to give you, too.
00:40:59Yeah? What?
00:41:00He says your mom is so fat that when she stands on the scale, it says,
00:41:04To be continued.
00:41:15Mama.
00:41:16Mama.
00:41:17Mama.
00:41:17Mama.
00:41:18Mama.
00:41:27Mama.
00:41:32Mama.
00:41:33Mama.
00:41:35Mama.
00:41:46I say where's my self-man!
00:42:14Boss, Boss, you okay?
00:42:18All right, enough of this yappin'.
00:42:21Are you ready to get to work, Geek Boy?
00:42:23I won't do it.
00:42:26We'll see about that.
00:42:28Dark Widow!
00:42:42Ticklish Boxer Brief Boy!
00:42:46Oh, I'm gonna tinkle in my tights!
00:42:48Quit it!
00:42:49Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
00:42:52I'm gonna tinkle in my tights!
00:42:54Okay, okay, stop.
00:42:56I'll help you build the bomb. Just let her go.
00:42:59I thought you'd see things my way.
00:43:02Sally, put these two in the dungeon till I figure out what to do with them.
00:43:06Okay, Boss.
00:43:07And you, Nerdface, get to work on that bomb.
00:43:11All right.
00:43:12All right!
00:43:13I think this calls for a little celebration, Dark Widow.
00:43:19Get to it, Einstein.
00:43:20You've got a lot of work to do.
00:43:23Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:43:52Oh, this is another fine mess we've gotten ourselves into, huh, TG?
00:43:57You okay, girl?
00:43:58I think so.
00:44:01How about you?
00:44:02Oh.
00:44:04Everything seems intact.
00:44:06I'm so sorry I got you into this, Triple B.
00:44:09Well, if it weren't for me, you would be back at the salon cutting the hair of the country music
00:44:14stars.
00:44:15Oh, honey.
00:44:16It's all right.
00:44:17It ain't all it's cracked up to be.
00:44:19Oh, sure.
00:44:20The money's great.
00:44:22And the people are all so interesting.
00:44:26But, oh, they just think I'm their shrink.
00:44:29Oh, going on and on.
00:44:31What if I look like Oprah?
00:44:33They want to tell me who their last fling was, who's sleeping with who.
00:44:37Hey, you want to hear the latest gossip on Kenny Chesney?
00:44:40No, that'll just depress me more.
00:44:42Oh, huh.
00:44:43Psst.
00:44:43Lana, can you hear me?
00:44:45It's Dweeble.
00:44:46Oh, please.
00:44:46I've come to rescue you, Lana.
00:44:51Shaz and the Dark Widow went out to celebrate.
00:44:54They slipped a Mickey into my hot cocoa and they thought that I was passed out.
00:45:00Luckily, I've devised a series of antihistamines for my nasal infections
00:45:05that counteract any invasive substances introduced into my system.
00:45:09It's really quite fascinating.
00:45:11The chemicals mix with the enzymes in my mucus memory that...
00:45:15Dweeble!
00:45:16Dweeble!
00:45:17Yes, Lana?
00:45:17Just get us out of here.
00:45:20Sure, sure, sure.
00:45:21I found an explosives detonator in the lab.
00:45:24And I think the combination of your ass firing laser and the explosives detonator should
00:45:29be sufficient to blow the crap out of this door.
00:45:32Of course, as you know, the combustion phenomenon of propellants and explosives when mixed together...
00:45:38Dweeble!
00:45:40Dweeble!
00:45:40Yes, Lana?
00:45:42Please.
00:45:43Just get us out of here.
00:45:45Okay, Lana.
00:45:46You'll have to aim it precisely at the right spot on the door in order for it to work.
00:45:51Stand back, everybody.
00:45:53Ashwains are coming through.
00:45:56Dweeble, stand back.
00:45:57She's gonna blow.
00:45:59Dweeble!
00:46:18Dweeble, stand back!
00:46:20I've never had this happen before. I just can't seem to muster up the energy to use my ass laser.
00:46:29It'll all come back to you. Maybe it's just that time of the month.
00:46:34I don't know Triple B. I just feel like I've lost my mojo. I am so tired.
00:46:44What's happening Lana? Oh Dweebs, I can't fire my ass laser.
00:46:49Oh, this isn't good. If only we had some kind of nuclear device to trigger the detonator.
00:46:56Um, will this help? Where did you get that?
00:47:02Oh, I saw it laying around the lab. I thought it might come in handy.
00:47:06Good work, Triple B.
00:47:07Okay, put the plutonium rod into the latch and then light it with these matches.
00:47:15Okay, here I go.
00:47:24Now stand back and shield your eyes.
00:47:53Well, that's one way to blow a lot.
00:47:56Let's get out of here for Chaz and Dark Widow return.
00:48:11We're talking about the anatomy of abuse.
00:48:15But Amy was supposed to be two months ago when she was living with her parents about...
00:48:19Assistant D.A. Lana Leonmi.
00:48:22Lana, it's Mayor Boner.
00:48:25I'm afraid we have a real dilemma on our hands.
00:48:29Chaz Chernobyl claims we've gotten the big machine operational.
00:48:33And he and the Dark Widow are demanding unconditional surrender.
00:48:37And then of course there is the matter of that nuclear fallout that's covering 2nd Avenue.
00:48:42Have you been in touch with Thong Girl?
00:48:44I'm sorry, Mayor Boner.
00:48:46I haven't been able to reach Thong Girl.
00:48:49She's not answering her Thong phone.
00:48:51Well, give her a message when you see her, won't you?
00:48:55Tell her that Music City has fallen into criminal hands.
00:48:59Only she can save us from the evil clutches of Chaz Chernobyl and the Dark Widow.
00:49:07All right, Mayor. I'll tell her. Goodbye.
00:49:28I've got to go away for a little while, Stud Muffin.
00:49:32I've got to clear my head.
00:49:33Oh!
00:49:59Hello!
00:50:00Good day!
00:50:01If you are selling something, I am not interested.
00:50:03Are you the Maharishi Sanjay Gupta Lowenstein?
00:50:05Eh, well, that depends on who is asking. And for what purpose?
00:50:10I'm Assistant District Attorney Lana Leonmi, and I need your help.
00:50:14I hear you have incredible healing powers, and you are an expert in all forms of martial arts and weaponry.
00:50:21And I make a mean bloody Mary too, and then what do you want?
00:50:24Well, I need your spiritual guidance. I seem to have had some kind of physical and mental collapse.
00:50:32I just can't seem to find my mojo.
00:50:34Oh, I would love to help you get your mojo back. Unfortunately, I have a little problem with lawyers.
00:50:41Messy divorce a few years ago.
00:50:43Lost the firm, so to speak, to this day.
00:50:45I blame my ex-wife and her choice to lawyer. Now, good day, ma'am!
00:50:51What is it now?
00:50:52You know, not all lawyers are bad. There are a lot of lawyers out there who do good deeds.
00:50:56And those deeds, a lot of times, go unnoticed.
00:50:59Tell that to my accountant, Saul Leibowitz.
00:51:02He's been going crazy trying to figure this mess out.
00:51:04That is why I became a holy man.
00:51:07Being a holy man makes a great tax shelter.
00:51:11Now, good day, ma'am!
00:51:14What is it now?
00:51:16They call me...
00:51:17Song Girl.
00:51:21Song Girl?
00:51:22Well, why didn't you say so?
00:51:24That's a horse of a different color. Come on in!
00:51:44You sure look familiar. Have we met somewhere before?
00:51:48Uh, no. You must have me mistaken for some other five-foot-tall Maharishi with fake beard and Jewish accent.
00:51:56Want some coffee?
00:51:58I'll put a nice herbal tea.
00:51:59Uh, no, thank you.
00:52:00Uh, no.
00:52:02Song Girl, I have heard of your plight.
00:52:05And I am willing to help you regain your motto, as you call it,
00:52:08and defeat all the evil-doers of the world who threaten to destroy all the good citizens of Music City,
00:52:15USA.
00:52:16But first, you must give me something in return.
00:52:20Like what?
00:52:21Bring me the broomstick of the Wicked Witch of the West!
00:52:24What?
00:52:24Sorry, wrong movie. Real change.
00:52:27Ahem.
00:52:28I require the ring.
00:52:31My ring? Why would you want my ring?
00:52:34Do you not recall a mysterious stranger who gave you that ring on a trip to India several years ago?
00:52:42Why, yes. How did you know that?
00:52:43I know a lot of things, my child.
00:52:47It is no coincidence that you are here today. Our paths are predetermined by forces much higher than ourselves. Some
00:52:57call him Allah, some call him Jesus, Mohammed, Krishna, some even call him Oprah.
00:53:03Ahem. That ruby ring was given to you as a beacon that ultimately brought you here to me.
00:53:10Will you help me defeat Chaz Chernobyl and the Dark Widow so that Music City can once again be a
00:53:16safe and respectable place for law-abiding citizens?
00:53:20Yes, yes, yes, yes. And so much more. You will live here with a renewed self-confidence and a clearer
00:53:27vision of your place in the world. You will fly higher and fight stronger than you ever imagined. You will
00:53:36take your place among the greatest superheroes of all time. And you will acquire powers you never knew you had.
00:53:43Great. When do we get started?
00:53:47There is no time like the present. We will start right now.
00:54:13I hear it.
00:54:16Oh, no.
00:54:25Hey.
00:54:27You will continue.
00:54:29It works out
00:54:30Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
00:55:00Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
00:55:28Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
00:55:54Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
00:56:13oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
00:56:14oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
00:56:14oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
00:56:14oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
00:56:14oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
00:56:32Let it lay on me, also known as Thong Girl!
00:56:36You have made great strides in the short time that you have been here.
00:56:40You are now prepared, both mentally and physically, to meet the challenges that await you.
00:56:47Thank you, Master.
00:56:48No, get out there and kick some ass, girl!
00:56:51I will, sir.
00:56:53By the way, are you sure we haven't met somewhere before?
00:56:56You look awfully familiar.
00:56:58I don't understand what you're saying.
00:56:59I can't hear you.
00:57:00I'm a little different this year.
00:57:01Let me come along somewhere!
00:57:03Come along!
00:57:08Hey, boys!
00:57:09Did you miss me?
00:57:10Huh?
00:57:14You have one hundred thirteen messages.
00:57:18Message one, marked urgent.
00:57:21Lana, this is Mayor Richard Boner.
00:57:23We've got a situation here.
00:57:25Please pick up.
00:57:26Message two, marked really urgent.
00:57:30Lana, if you're there, please pick up.
00:57:33Chaz and the Dark Widow have taken over the city.
00:57:36We need Thong Girl!
00:57:38Message one hundred thirteen, marked frantic.
00:57:43Lana, you've got to find Thong Girl!
00:57:46If ever we needed her, it's now!
00:57:51Hi, you've reached Assistant D.A. Lana Leonni.
00:57:54I'm not here right now, but please leave a message at the beep.
00:58:00Lana, Chaz is here.
00:58:01He wants to talk to you.
00:58:04Please pick up!
00:58:05Please!
00:58:06Give me that phone!
00:58:07Listen up, Assistant D.A. lady.
00:58:10If you and your washed-up alter-eagle Thong Girl can hear me,
00:58:13you better get down to the town hall pronto,
00:58:15because I'm fixing to eliminate Mayor Bonehead and take over this town!
00:58:20I'm going to count to three.
00:58:23And if you don't pick up, the Mayor gets it!
00:58:27One...
00:58:28Two...
00:58:29Oh!
00:58:30Oh, thank goodness, Thong Girl!
00:58:33I've just about given up on you!
00:58:35Drats!
00:58:36I was hoping you were dead, Thong Girl!
00:58:38Now I guess I'm going to have to finish you off myself.
00:58:43Wait.
00:58:44There's something different about you.
00:58:48Is that a new hairstyle?
00:58:50Nope.
00:58:51A new cape, perhaps?
00:58:53Uh-uh.
00:58:54I got it.
00:58:56It's the boots.
00:58:57You've got new boots!
00:58:58No, sir!
00:59:00Well, something's different.
00:59:02You look stronger somehow.
00:59:05Have you been working out?
00:59:07Well, I guess you could say that I've found my mojo.
00:59:12Oh!
00:59:14Well, well.
00:59:16Sally, say hello to Thong Girl's new mojo.
00:59:20Get rid of her!
00:59:22Okay, boss.
00:59:44Just in time for the holidays, would you like your package gift wrapped?
00:59:48Okay.
00:59:50I don't have time for this.
00:59:52Say hello to my little friend, Thong Girl.
00:59:56It's lights out for you now.
00:59:58I have a city to run.
01:00:10Looks like you could use a little iron in your diet, Chaz.
01:00:17You're finished in this town, Chaz.
01:00:19You're going back to the big house, and this time it's for good.
01:00:24Well done, Thong Girl.
01:00:26Well done.
01:00:36Oh, Lana!
01:00:37I'm so glad to see you.
01:00:39I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused.
01:00:41Oh, that's okay, Jweeves.
01:00:43It's not your fault.
01:00:44Hey, do you know where the Dark Widow is?
01:00:47She's kidnapped Andy and taken over Music Row.
01:00:50She has an office at Warner Brothers, and she's turning all the country music stars into hip-hop artists.
01:00:56I better get over there on the double.
01:00:58You can take it from here, Mr. Mayor.
01:01:00I'm headed over to Music Row to set the record straight, if you know what I mean.
01:01:06Oh, that's a good one, Thong Girl.
01:01:10Good one!
01:01:12Don't you worry.
01:01:13I'll make sure these two villains are taken into custody.
01:01:17God bless you, Thong Girl.
01:01:19God bless you!
01:01:27I've told you, Miss Capri is not taking any calls.
01:01:30Cracker.
01:01:32No, I'm sorry, Mr. Chesney.
01:01:34She specifically told me not to accept any calls from you.
01:01:38Honky!
01:01:39Well, look, if you'd like to leave a number where you can be reached, I'm sure that she...
01:01:44Oh, Kenny, honey, you've got to get out of town pronto.
01:01:48This ho is trippin'.
01:01:49She's gonna squash your little bony booty.
01:01:52You know what I'm sayin', Mac Daddy?
01:01:54I believe I have an appointment with Miss Capri, a.k.a. The Dark Widow.
01:01:59Oh, Thong Girl, I knew you'd come for me!
01:02:05Mommy, it's been awful since you've been gone.
01:02:09She makes me listen to Snoop Doggy doo-doo records all day long, and I could hardly walk from all
01:02:15this bling.
01:02:18And every time I try to escape, she turns up the juice on this here electric collar.
01:02:23Thong Girl, she's turned all the country music stars into hippity hop artists.
01:02:28Why, right now, she's in there doing a number on poor old Willie Nelson.
01:02:32What are we gonna do, Thong Girl?
01:02:34I think it's time for the Dark Widow to face the music.
01:02:38Do you still have your superhero costume?
01:02:40You know I do.
01:02:42Okay, follow me, Triple B.
01:02:48No, no, no!
01:02:50If I told you once, I told you a million times.
01:02:53It's not way down yonder.
01:02:55It's off in the hood.
01:02:57Now do it again!
01:02:59Luanda, I'm not sure I can say this stuff.
01:03:02I come from a good Christian family.
01:03:05Oh, you'll do what I say.
01:03:07Or I'll make sure you'll never see another ounce of that little wacky tobacco that you like so much.
01:03:11It's for my glaucoma, I swear.
01:03:13Yeah, right.
01:03:15Now do it again!
01:03:16And this time with more soul.
01:03:18Hey, Luanda.
01:03:19Remember me?
01:03:20You know, I do a little music myself.
01:03:23In fact, here's one of my biggest hits.
01:03:29You've gotten much stronger since the last time we met, Thongirl.
01:03:32I found my mojo.
01:03:34Well, let's see how your mojo does up against my Motown.
01:03:37I'm about to reap some sweet satisfaction on your ass.
01:03:40No, no, no.
01:03:41Hold up, hold up, hold up.
01:03:42Thongirl, I'll handle this one.
01:03:44You're gonna have to go through me, sister.
01:03:47You're becoming quite a nuisance, little man.
01:03:50As a matter of fact, you make a terrible cup of coffee.
01:03:52Whatever.
01:03:52Why don't you try some of my juice?
01:03:55Bring it on.
01:03:58I'm not a gay boy.
01:04:00You look ducked.
01:04:06Great gosh, you're mighty ass free at last.
01:04:08Lord, I'm free at last.
01:04:10Come on, Thongirl.
01:04:11Let's tag team this biatch.
01:04:13Take a hike, Nelson.
01:04:14You've just been released from your contract.
01:04:16Seems I'm not dressed appropriately for this occasion.
01:04:19Excuse me while I change into something more comfortable.
01:04:31Over here, Thongirl.
01:04:40Let's jam.
01:04:57You've got it.
01:05:00Yeah.
01:05:41So, let's go.
01:05:44You're much better than I gave you credit for, Thong Girl.
01:05:47But with all your enhanced powers, you're still no match for the big machine.
01:05:53You see, while you're away, your little boyfriend, Dweevil, developed a much more powerful bomb
01:05:58with a high-powered fail-safe device that can only be disarmed by yours truly.
01:06:03And with one hit of this button, this missile's going to be on to its intended target.
01:06:08And that would be...
01:06:09Oh, don't tell me. Let me guess.
01:06:11Brentwoodville, Ground Zero.
01:06:14Kenny Chesney's house!
01:06:15Except this time, there ain't no stopping it.
01:06:18Lawanda, you don't have to do this. There's still hope for you.
01:06:22I have some friends in the music biz, and I could pull some strings and get you a deal with
01:06:27one of the big labels in town.
01:06:29Why, you could be a country music star.
01:06:31Nice try, Thong Girl. But I got bigger plans.
01:06:36Goodbye, Music City!
01:06:37Haha!
01:06:39Haha!
01:06:42Hahaha!
01:06:52Hahaha!
01:06:55Hahaha!
01:06:57Hahaha!
01:06:58Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
01:07:36Hello?
01:07:37Dweebs!
01:07:38It's me, Lana!
01:07:39Hi, Lana!
01:07:40Are you alright?
01:07:41Lawanda has activated the big machine.
01:07:44Can you disable the missile?
01:07:45I'm sorry, Lana.
01:07:47Once the missile is launched, only she can stop it.
01:07:49I was afraid of that.
01:07:52Unless...
01:07:52Unless what?
01:07:54Unless the detonating device on the missile
01:07:56meets a heat source ten times more than ever.
01:07:58It's greater than the missile itself.
01:08:00How much heat would that take?
01:08:01I'm afraid there's no such heat source known to man.
01:08:05No?
01:08:06Well, how about a woman?
01:08:07A woman with a new and improved, soon to be patented,
01:08:11ass firing laser.
01:08:12Well, I suppose that could do it.
01:08:16Do you know anyone like that?
01:08:17Me, you goofball. Gotta go.
01:08:19Oh, sure, sure. Be careful, Lana!
01:08:23Time to show me what you got,
01:08:24Triple B.
01:08:26Let's do it!
01:08:32Hey, TG.
01:08:34I got the strangest feeling of damn shabu right back there.
01:08:37I know what you mean, Triple B.
01:08:39Seems like we've been in this situation before.
01:08:41Only this time, the bomb is much more powerful.
01:08:44It's gonna take my full-blown, new and improved ass laser
01:08:48to detonate this baby.
01:08:49Oh, look, TG. There it is!
01:08:51And it's headed straight for Brentwoodville.
01:08:53Okay, hold on, little buddy.
01:08:55I'm charging her up.
01:09:01Yay! You did it! You did it!
01:09:05Correction, we did it.
01:09:20And in recognition of your daring and selfless actions in the face of disaster, Boxer Brief Boy,
01:09:27I present you the Distinguished Medal of Honor.
01:09:33And your very own key to the city, which also happens to open the front door of country music star
01:09:40Keith Urban's home.
01:09:42Oh, he's such a hottie. Okay!
01:09:46And to you, Thong Girl,
01:09:48I present the award that's most coveted by every citizen of Music City,
01:09:52your very own CMA Award.
01:09:57Oh, great.
01:09:57What did you say, Thong Girl?
01:09:59I said, how great!
01:10:09Paul Triple B, another job well done.
01:10:13We've saved the city from Chaz and the Dark Widow.
01:10:16And once again, the world is safe for all law-abiding citizens and hat-wearing country music stars.
01:10:22Yeah!
01:10:23Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
01:10:25You know it, girl!
01:10:27Let's go shopping!
01:10:55Let's go!
01:10:57Be honest!
01:10:57in this world
01:10:59She said to get bad boys
01:11:02and girls
01:11:04So if you're
01:11:06on the dark side
01:11:07And to break
01:11:10somebody's dreams
01:11:11You'll have to face
01:11:13her laser beams
01:11:17Dog girl
01:11:20Oh
01:11:21Dog girl
01:11:23Dog girl
01:11:27Oh
01:11:28Dog girl
01:11:32If you do wrong
01:11:34You'll answer to the
01:11:36wrong
01:11:44No matter where you come
01:11:47from
01:11:47New York, Nashville or
01:11:50Adelaide
01:11:51You'll have to face her laser
01:11:56Dog girl
01:11:59Dog girl
01:12:01Dog girl
01:12:02Dog girl
01:12:06Oh
01:12:08Dog girl
01:12:10Dog girl
01:12:12In a messed up world
01:12:15Dog girl
01:12:17We need a girl
01:12:19Girl
01:12:20We need a girl
01:12:21You can make it brighter day
01:12:231990
01:12:31We need a girl
01:12:34Oh
01:12:34Girl
01:12:34Oh
01:12:37Girl
01:12:37Hold on
01:12:38Yeah
01:12:38Oh
01:12:42Oh
01:12:43Oh, thong girl
01:12:48If you do wrong
01:12:50You're a lesser to the throne
01:12:54Oh, thong girl
01:12:58Thong girl
01:13:00Oh, thong girl
01:13:14Oh, thong girl
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