00:00He would do that every now and then. At some point I started sleeping in fetal position because, you know,
00:06keeping my body closed up to myself. And I can always tell when he would come into my room and
00:11just look at me. There was times where we had vases around the house and he and my mom got
00:17into an argument and next thing then he just starts throwing vases and just like, damn it, just throwing things
00:23at the walls.
00:23I hated a part of myself because even then when I didn't, like, wasn't able to provide myself, I still
00:29had to ask him. If I wanted to go to the, I went to a charter school, I couldn't just
00:34walk there. I had to ask him to give me a ride. And I hated myself for that reason of
00:39like, wow, this man has done all these things to you and yet here you are still relying on him.
00:44The berating comments and the lectures like increased during that time.
00:48I just, I just didn't trust my mom and I didn't trust my siblings to really protect me. And I
00:53get it like they were kids themselves too, but I always felt a little abandoned.
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