00:00there was some real challenges with the organization that we were with and decided to
00:05let us go we did come back to the uk and then sadly within a year of coming back
00:11developed sepsis and died completely unexpectedly that was really hard for for me and for the
00:18children we really wanted to believe that that god was there with us and that it wasn't gonna
00:23let us go as my life without continued i had a very close friend and she said to me is
00:31this going
00:32anywhere now at that time i hadn't really come out and it made me really think what was i to
00:38do
00:38would it be fair on her to have the same challenges that i had with and me um as well
00:44but i think i was
00:45more concerned about her and i felt no it was inappropriate and um fortunately the church that
00:51i was part of at the time they were going through their own process in one sense of coming out
00:56and
00:56deciding that they wanted to um trying to go think through whether they were going to be an inclusive
01:02church or not and they decided to do that and that that really gave me the courage to come out
01:08i think
01:09the most challenging time in my in my healing stage was was feeling it was my fault feeling it was
01:16a
01:16failure somehow and not pushing beyond that i think that when you go through your healing process when
01:23you find people who understand it and get it it's incredibly releasing
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