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The King of Queens S03E05 CtrlHD

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00:14wow these chef ming people really know their way around a walk they should change the name of this
00:18dish to egg foo yum they were on their game tonight i'm telling you you should have tried
00:24the poo-poo platter i'm sorry the what platter how do you think that's funny and still hold down a
00:35job
00:38i'm complicated
00:42man i would love some dessert i gotta have something sweet yeah me too
00:47all we got are these fortune cookies boy the chinese really dropped the ball when it came
00:51to the desserts huh i know it's like what you can't uh jam a fortune into a piece of fudge
00:56cake
00:59oh you know what i could totally go for right now that new frozen fudge blast from quickie burger
01:06what are you doing my baby wants a frozen fudge blast my baby's getting a frozen fudge blast
01:12no no no forget it it's 10 o'clock already and you're in your bad underwear
01:20that's all right i'll just hit the drive-through is it inconvenient sure but being married means
01:25sometimes doing things that you don't want to do i hope you'll keep that in mind during our no-no
01:30time
01:39fudge
01:44fudge
01:45welcome to quickie burger may i take your order
01:50yeah two frozen fudge blasts will that be all yeah i think that'll uh
01:55ah who we kidding throw in a number four
01:58anything else uh does the number four have quickie curlies
02:02no the number three does all right then i'll take a number three
02:06so cancel the four and substitute a three
02:09when did you hear the word cancel
02:13give me both
02:14may i bucket size you for an extra 70 cents
02:17my man i like the cut of your jib
02:23yes bucket size me
02:25that's 12 44 pull to the front window
02:28gotcha
02:35oh okay you're not starting come on don't don't do this now don't do this
02:40you're doing you're doing you're doing you're doing you're doing you son of a mother
02:52sir you're gonna have to pull forward now
02:54yeah i just got a little problem here okay one sec
02:57hey foxy nice legs
02:59thank you
03:02okay first things first
03:03the front of the engine gets very hot
03:07sir please pull your car forward
03:09okay guy you just gotta give me a second
03:10you're holding on my line and i'm gonna need you to please pull your car forward
03:14okay i i know that and i'm gonna need you to stop saying that okay now shut it
03:20you shut it
03:23what
03:24please pull your car forward
03:26you know what do me a favor say it one more time i dare you
03:30yeah i didn't think so
03:32please pull your car forward
03:33you know what that's
03:34huh you don't like it
03:38that's all you got lady
03:40no i got a lot more
03:41oh that felt good
03:42oh yeah
03:43did it better just land on me
03:45please play a car forward
03:48please play a car forward
03:49please play a car forward
03:50shut up
03:52my eyes are getting weary
03:55my back is getting tight
03:58i'm sitting here in traffic
04:00on the queensburg bridge tonight
04:02but i don't care cause all i want to do
04:08is catch my check and drive right home to you
04:14cause maybe all my life i will be driving home to you
04:36unbelievable
04:38here you are what happened i was worried what happened our piece of crap car broke down right in the
04:43middle of the crap in the crap in the crap crap thing
04:47i had to call spence come pick me up
04:49hey carrie
04:51you look good
04:54are you okay
04:55i'm fine
04:55just that our desserts are totally melted
04:57you might as well just throw them out
04:58yeah well don't throw them out
05:01you never realized how damn smooth your legs are
05:05okay norman time to calm down
05:07i swear i'm through with that car
05:09let's just get rid of it and get a new one
05:10uh come on we've been through this before we cannot get a new car right now
05:15besides you you can't just sell the old car it's got too much of our lives in it
05:19i mean going to palisades park and chased by bikers and uh i watched you make out with sue mazetski
05:26in that car
05:29where were you
05:33the point is you can't just dump a big piece of our history i'll buy the car before i let
05:38that happen
05:38spence forget it nobody's buying anything because we are not getting rid of it why not
05:42because doug your union is in the middle of contract negotiations so so you don't know how it's
05:48going to come out we cannot afford it right now
05:52i guess listen we've waited this long we'll just tape the old car back together it'll be good as new
05:59and just in case let's drive with some pants on for a while okay
06:03okay all right well my work is done i'm out of here all right well thanks ben yeah thanks again
06:10man oh hey don't worry about it you're my butt
06:14so what do you say we take those desserts up to the bedroom and make a little mess
06:19i don't need desserts to make a mess in the bedroom
06:23well come on you big slob oh you so nasty
06:31spence go home all right take care
06:38if a great car's what you want then look no more just have a beard because we're all parked right
06:44here in our auto store i see them here and we're slashing all our prices to the bone yeah we
06:50said bone
06:52so get your wife or hubby on the phone hope they're alone and if you're ready to step up
06:59to a new car van or truck then you'll love octoberpalooza where a good deal's what we'll do's ya
07:12hey guy got a few boxes of brochures for you oh finally just got a sign right here
07:19what you got some kind of sale going on actually it's an october palooza oh
07:27looza what's with uh that dilly uh when anybody buys a truck it's 30 seconds to grab as many dollar
07:32bills as they can man that could not look more humiliating and i'm a grown man who has to wear
07:38shorts for a living wow now that is a ride uh-huh carly here looks great in silver too yeah
07:50eight
07:50cylinders 240 horses 16 inch wheels and a winch you do a lot of towing doug i can't not with
08:00the
08:00car we have although there are a lot of things i wish i could tow well you in the market
08:06for a new
08:06car well sort of but my wife thinks we should wait a few weeks we're not quite ready yet yeah
08:11well wifey knows best you gotta be ready better to pay a little more have your peace of mind what's
08:17gonna cost more in a few weeks oh it's not a november palooza am i right okay what
08:25how much more well it's hard to say maybe a couple g's that's if we still have it this is
08:30the last
08:31all silver four by four with the towing package and roof rack on the whole east coast last one huh
08:37i don't think it's gonna last long i hear danny i yellow's people are heading down right now to take
08:41look at it danny i yellow look i just got an update from the union and as your shop steward
08:50i've been
08:50asked to make the following announcements as of 4 18 p.m negotiations officially broke down
08:56with no new talks scheduled anybody seen heffernan hey is new crush bell included or what
09:07they said no to the vesting proposal no to the overtime proposal yes to the fog lights yes
09:14to the mountain package and they refuse to sign off on any expanded medical benefits
09:25tighten your belt people as of the end of work today we're on strike
09:29the bloom from my wild irish rose my dear and rose
09:53okay i heard everything you said as have the neighbors
09:59now let me respond given the strike this was clearly not the best day for us to buy a new
10:05car
10:06now i know the word us is a hot button issue right now i should have kept you in the
10:11loop and yes my
10:13genitals should be put in some sort of vice but that aside this is a blessing in disguise look we
10:20needed
10:20a new car got one ps least on the very favorable palooza conditions
10:27now in closing i love you i am now available to make love to you and it is my great
10:35hope
10:36that you will join me we're returning the car really why would you want to do that did you show
10:42her the roof rack doug yeah she pushed my head into it look it's nothing against the truck the truck
10:48is
10:48gorgeous i mean it's uh what what do you guys say cherry because it is cherry you know what else
10:55it is it's mint hey mint cherry let's go for some ice cream
11:00but seriously uh marty marty money um unfortunately my husband's union went on strike today so we're
11:08gonna have to return it because the payments are a bit too much for us right now got the receipt
11:13right here so is there a cashier's window i go to burster's office what yeah i i don't want to
11:19be
11:19the bad guy here but i'm sorry i couldn't possibly take the car back now once those tires hit the
11:23pavement it's appreciates big time is uh danny aiello still interested or no oh come on come on be be
11:33reasonable here i mean it's only got 18 miles on it that's what a couple of test drives and i
11:38only used
11:38winch twice okay look i'll tell you what i can't take the car back come back tomorrow i'll put you
11:45in the dollar booth i'll cheat the timer give you a few extra seconds huh and here's a tip lick
11:49your
11:50arms the bills will stick to you better that way he's not getting in that booth okay he's he's afraid
11:55of small spaces i can't even use the bathroom on an airplane that's why we can't go to hawaii okay
12:01sweetie why why'd you let me talk to this nice man alone okay all right listen i'm gonna um
12:09lay my cards on the table here my husband was in an industrial accident luckily he doesn't remember
12:17it but bottom line is i don't think he's even legally allowed to buy a car anymore
12:25you know he only uh could count to eight good luck with that
12:34hey you know what you are way overreacting to this situation how am i overreacting okay first of
12:39all i didn't even buy the car okay i only leased it it's the same thing no it isn't it
12:44is no it
12:45isn't okay all right tell me the difference okay well when one buys a car per se if you will
12:56one owns it whereas when one leases a car one owns it but you gotta give it back
13:06give me a favor count to nine this whole conversation is pointless because the strike's
13:12gonna end in a week two weeks tops oh do you know that doug because i'm in the union
13:19okay union man what are the issues do you even know what they are yes okay name one issue
13:26vesting vesting is a huge issue you should see all the people they're like hey what is with this
13:30vesting vesting meaning what vesting to vest to be vested i don't know how much clearer i can
13:40make this i really don't the point is it's very important and the company is gonna eventually cave
13:45in on it how do you know they're gonna cave huh what if this thing drags on for a month
13:51two months
13:51it can't drag on you've seen our commercial ips delivers the globe who else is gonna deliver the
13:56globe if we don't huh fedex tight operation yes it is look carrie the strike is gonna end okay
14:06and we're gonna be fine in the meantime spence is gonna buy the old car that's that's two hundred
14:10dollars right there you can pick up some overtime and i can do stuff around the house save some money
14:16there i guess come on don't don't be mad at me uh-oh uh-oh did you leave the puppy
14:26gate open
14:27don't no i think you left the puppy gate open doug don't do the puppy thing the puppy's coming you
14:35cannot stop him don't stop at all get off of me stop oh the puppy likes you oh yeah rub
14:43his belly rub his
14:44belly rub his belly oh yeah oh yeah oh that's the spot yeah okay now if she stalls out don't
14:53panic
14:54just throw it back into neutral step on the gas pop her into first she'll lurch pretty violently but
14:59you're back in business gotcha now once in a rare while instead of stalling the damn thing will take
15:05off like a freaking rocket okay just pop it back into neutral blast the heat and pull up the emergency
15:12brake it's as good as done and the odor you know about so that should just about do it uh
15:17wow i can't
15:19believe she's actually mine you sure you want to do this absolutely okay oh hey i got a bumper sticker
15:27just give me my coffee and no one gets hurt
15:32i don't get it you want other drivers to give you coffee you're overthinking it it's just funny
15:41oh all right oh coffee coffee yeah all right yeah uh hey i'll call you later buddy all right buddy
16:02hey there she is overtime girl it's time and a half how was your day jam-packed with the usual
16:11misery only now it lasts 11 hours instead of eight great so you're ironing huh that i am just thought
16:20i'd save us a little money on our dry cleaning bill plus bonus i get to fondle your delicates
16:26so is this the done pile or the not done file
16:34huh huh oh it's so hot from the subway i'm just gonna go take a cool shower
16:41uh-oh
16:42what is going on here well you know how you said you wanted to rip out the old shower tile
16:51yeah i did only in my plan i would have replaced it with new tile
16:58i intend to they just didn't have the right color in stock and you couldn't have checked
17:02that before you ripped this out i could have but in my defense i didn't
17:10come on car i'm just trying to save us some money here i'll get it done tomorrow
17:14okay in the meanwhile i'll walk around smelling like the f train
17:17well hey how about this you go downstairs i'll wash you in the sink like a little baby
17:23well better yet throw in a white t-shirt i'll blast you with the hose huh always a crowd pleaser
17:29no thanks i'm just gonna go watch some tv
17:34uh-oh
17:36doug why is hbo all squiggly i cancelled it you cancelled hbo yes i did that's 12 bucks more
17:43a month in our pocketbook well why didn't you cancel your stupid gold sports package i couldn't
17:49it came with a free t-shirt i don't even know how that would work oh what does it seem
17:53like you're
17:53the one who bought the truck and i'm the only one suffering what do you mean the only one i
17:57lost
17:57arliss you don't think that stings i don't know how many times i can say carrie i'm sorry i got
18:02us in
18:02over our heads but you know what yelling at me is not gonna help well that's all i have try
18:07to remember
18:07this isn't easy on me either right i had no job i'm on that damn picket line six hours a
18:13day in the
18:13blazing sun and you know what every day i die a little bit more inside all right if you want
18:19double cheese now's the time to say it my man you are a genius on the grill oh you are
18:26too kind
18:27you up for a little frisbee hey if you throw it at me what i'm not gonna catch it
18:32you like frisbee you kill her on the grill kelly ever goes down i just might have to make you
18:37my woman
18:38i liked it very much
18:44thank god you're here hey what's up man the car broke down on austin street i don't remember
18:50what you said what do i do when the steering wheel only turns to the right oh you know it
18:55sounds like you're losing power steering fluid all right here's what you got to do get power steering
19:00fluid okay gotcha oh uh uh doug did you catch my check yet yeah all righty
19:15doug hey what are you what are you doing here i thought i'd pick you up on my way home
19:19what's
19:20going on here nothing we're just you know picketing
19:27doug honey baby i'm gonna i'm gonna level with you here um i came by because i kind of felt
19:34bad
19:34about yesterday and i wanted to support you oh thank you yeah let me finish
19:40and now i just want to lash out and hurt you come on i have to be down here picketing
19:46it's a union
19:46rule all this other crap is just a way to get our minds off this thing that's hanging over us
19:52i mean believe me everybody else here is pretty freaked
19:57yeah you see that i skipped that sucker i'm going pro he's so in denial
20:04what'd you do that for because you're tan and barbecuing with all your friends while i'm stuck
20:09in an office for 12 hours with a weird copy guy who keeps wanting to show me his poems
20:15honey what do you want from me i have to be down here i told you
20:21what is going to make you feel better about this just tell me and i'll do it
20:31you gotta lick your arms baby
20:46so i guess i just got crazy and i'm i'm sorry okay
20:54come on talk to me
20:58i just don't like being hit i know i know that was so wrong of me and i'll never do
21:03it again
21:05what did you tell people i said a car backed into me but i don't think they believed it sure
21:09they
21:10did no they did come on i'm sorry so will you take my order now no come on you know
21:20you want to
21:24welcome welcome to quickie burger may i take your order that's my baby
21:39you
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