- 7 weeks ago
Shoresy - Season 5 - Episode 06: Who Are We?
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:28Transcription by CastingWords
00:58CastingWords
01:14CastingWords
01:31CastingWords
01:49CastingWords
02:04CastingWords
02:17CastingWords
02:24CastingWords
02:25And I know it's got change
02:32And I know it's got change
03:05Well, you're a coach
03:06You okay with diving if it gets you a win?
03:09Well, a win's a win, boys
03:10Fuck off
03:10All's fair and true love and war
03:12What, you gonna lay on the ice, old man?
03:13No, you never fucking lay on the ice
03:15You'll take a dive
03:17Well, I'll stick you in the face
03:18I'll spear you in the nuts
03:20Whatever it takes to get you to retaliate
03:23I'd rather lose honorably than win dishonorably
03:27You?
03:31Hockey players
03:31You said we understood each other
03:33They're all the same
03:34I'm sorry
03:35Oh, the guys drinking from a trophy all over town
03:37For two months can't be trusted
03:38I'm shocked
03:39This game is over
03:40Hold on
03:40You should have never started
03:41You're right
03:42I know I'm right
03:43We couldn't say no to the donation, Kelly
03:44When's the last time you read something good
03:46About a hockey player?
03:47I know
03:47I should have listened
03:48Clearly a culture problem with the sport
03:50I'm sorry
03:51Just...
03:51What are we doing?
03:53It's not up to me
03:54Sergeant's on the way
03:55Doug?
03:56No, he's promoted
03:57It's Sean now
03:58Which Sean?
03:59New guy
04:01What a pussy
04:02Seriously?
04:03Guy's losing his mind
04:05One job!
04:06One job!
04:07Keep them in control!
04:08Yeah, scream at a cop
04:09That'll get you a long way
04:10In a foreign country, no less
04:12Take a log off the fire, bud
04:13What a loser
04:14In Finland
04:15You get three gourmet meals a day in jail
04:17Maybe he's just tired of Sudbury food
04:19Gotta say, gents
04:20This is already worth the trip home
04:21New Shorzy wouldn't disappoint
04:23I expected a scrappy game, but...
04:25She's scrappy, all right
04:26Did not expect a scrap before the game started
04:28That's what you get for trashing North American hockey for the last month
04:30Pigeons
04:31Wonder what Shorzy's next trick is
04:32More of the same
04:34You think?
04:35First period kills some guys
04:38Yep
04:38Who's got a lip-danger?
04:40Something's a rumor
04:41I'm Jory Jordan with the Sudbury Kids Sports Report On Location
04:44I'm told that Nick Archambault of Brodude Sports is also covering today's event
04:47And I'll be giving her a near full the first chance I get
04:49After fumbling my first appearance on Brodude this summer
04:51Bitter?
04:52Perhaps
04:53I got here off of views and clicks
04:55She got here off of nudes and dicks
04:56I got here off of plugging vlogs
04:57She got here off of sucking hogs
04:59Sure, we're both here because of the gift of gab
05:01Our silver tongues
05:02But mine was used for profound journalism
05:04Hers was used on the penises, or otherwise
05:06Of people who hire profound journalists
05:08Stay tuned
05:08Let's go! No show!
05:10Fuck the EU!
05:12You know what to do!
05:13Woo!
05:14Well, Doug's faithful found their way
05:21Must make you feel pretty good
05:24Charzi!
05:25Compliments on the cotton candy blue?
05:28It's a pale turquoise
05:30Give me a quick one
05:30Later
05:31Come on, man
05:32After
05:33Hey, Kyle, I see you met Teppo Mackey
05:36Psycho Mackey
05:37Oh, you're a cop
05:38Throw one of those Hannibal Lecter masks on him
05:40Wish I could throw one on you
05:41What do you want to do?
05:42Oops!
05:42Looks like we've overlapped with brooded sports
05:44What an opportunity for the SKSR Live
05:45And for me to give a lesson in broadcasting
05:47To the anchor known in professional circles
05:49As Panic Archambault
05:51Remember me?
05:52Uh, Jordan, right?
05:53My last name, yes
05:54Like Michael
05:55Michael V
05:56Montel
05:57Right, your name's Jory
05:58Chalk one up for each dick Archambault
06:00Pardon me?
06:01And Nick, I got here through hard work
06:02And saving my allowance
06:03You got here through sleeping with dozens of your superiors
06:06Possibly several dozens
06:07Get a comment?
06:10Well, not
06:10Oh!
06:13Sergeant coming
06:15What's his name again?
06:16Sean
06:20That's Sean
06:21We want everyone out of here
06:22Well, this isn't good
06:23Can we get everyone out of here, please?
06:24We can talk about it
06:25You've done it before
06:26We can do it again
06:27Everyone out
06:28Everyone is a lot of people
06:29We had an agreement
06:30Is there an agreement in writing?
06:31Are you serious?
06:32No
06:32That's going to hurt us here
06:33You're serious
06:34There's a lot more people here than Church League, Kelly
06:35You want me to just boot them all out?
06:37How do you think that's going to go?
06:39You were told clearly
06:41My guys will stick around for the game
06:42And make sure everyone leaves in a good time afterwards
06:44There is a 50-50 draw
06:46Half to the fans, half to us
06:47Our half is yours
06:57Oof
06:57Still standing
06:58Kind of
07:00We'll get the cuffs off your guys
07:01The cuffs were a bit dramatic
07:02Zip ties
07:03They get a good story out of it
07:05Just throw some on that, not bar
07:10Thank you
07:11My guys like your guys
07:14They think it's cool the Bulldogs know their names
07:24Three cheers for casual sex
07:26Yeah
07:27Alright, I got him
07:27You can put your eyes on them
07:28Okay, yep
07:33This is fucking crazy
07:34You've seen crazier, Vinny
07:36We either call the game
07:37Or we start with a clean slate
07:38We're not calling the game
07:39Yeah, EU coach agrees
07:42All right
07:44We're going five on five here
07:47We're going five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on
07:51five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on
07:51five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on
07:51five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on
07:51five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on
07:51five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on
07:52five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on
08:00five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on
08:04five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on
08:04five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on
08:07five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on five on
08:32Let's kill some guys.
09:06We're absolutely letting it go, eh?
09:08Oh, you fucking killed some guys.
09:10We're down by 2-0, man.
09:12What, two whole goals?
09:13Get a couple now, boys.
09:14Huh?
09:14Don't wait.
09:15We've pissed two goals.
09:17Keep it simple, boys.
09:18Beat them up.
09:18Jim.
09:19Yeah.
09:19Jim.
09:20What's up, Shorzy?
09:21What's going on, buddy?
09:21Nice work, Jims.
09:23Creason, where's your brother?
09:24Need to go pee.
09:25I think he can dig a little deeper.
09:26How about having three lines of fucking killers?
09:28It's a luxury.
09:29Huh?
09:29I'm blessed.
09:30How about being three deep with straight fucking killers?
09:33They're still coming, Shorzy.
09:34They're tough.
09:34Not scared of us.
09:35Make him scared of us.
09:36Hit everything, boys.
09:37Hurt on the body.
09:38Soften them up.
09:38He goes to win games, Shorzy.
09:40Oh, you ain't big mole.
09:41Haven't killed enough guys yet.
09:44Let's kill some more guys.
10:05Delaney down the right wing.
10:07Has a shot just wide.
10:08And Silvestri fells into Cedarstrom.
10:10This will draw a crowd.
10:11Reps of this one get a wee bit out of hand.
10:20The refs are really letting him play, eh?
10:22Not good, boys.
10:23Not good, not good, not good.
10:25Real bad.
10:26Eh, Jackie?
10:27You said it, buddy, not good.
10:28One goal on Cedarstrom through five periods total is...
10:31Dog shit.
10:32Not substantial.
10:33Got the stud leading the league in rookie scoring right here.
10:35What do they do, Jackie?
10:36You're an all star, eh, Jackie?
10:38Yeah, what's your secret, Jackie boy?
10:39Keep it simple.
10:40How do you do that?
10:43All hockey players love scoring goals.
10:45That's what keeps us all coming back.
10:47That feeling.
10:48I know.
10:48Get back to that.
10:49Keep it fun.
10:50What's fun?
10:50Scoring goals.
10:51Scoring fucking goals.
10:52Can't overthink it.
10:53You started playing hockey to score goals.
10:55Don't overcomplicate it.
10:56You fucking idolize the guys that score goals.
10:59Just do something good.
11:00Just go get that feeling.
11:03Love scoring goals.
11:06This is fun.
11:08Oh, yeah.
11:09This is total fucking buy-in.
11:11Dude, boys.
11:12Fucking A, boys.
11:12The first period, we kill some guys.
11:15Didn't kill enough guys in the first, so period two, you kill some more guys.
11:18Period three.
11:20Make sure they never forget who you are.
11:24Who are we, Big Mo?
11:25Sudbury boys.
11:26Oh, Sudbury boys.
11:27I like that.
11:28That's good.
11:28That's who we are.
11:30Dolo, who are you?
11:31Rapper from Blayville, bro.
11:32Goody, who are you?
11:33Six Nations gonna gobble up all the credence in St. Marie.
11:36Who are you?
11:37Never misses the mark.
11:37Put the fuck up, Michael.
11:39Friesen, where's your brother?
11:40He had to pee.
11:41Who are you?
11:42Freezer twins.
11:43Gord, who are you?
11:44Islander.
11:44Seafood guy.
11:45Big swinging dick.
11:46Sly Silvestri, who are you?
11:48I'd tell ya, but put a hockey stick in my hand and I'd become a completely different person.
11:51Who are the gyms?
11:53The gyms are such fucking beauties.
11:55Surey old fuck, who are you?
11:57A thousand games in the show, I got a few more to go.
11:59Delaney, you fucking coke head.
12:00Who are you?
12:01The guy who's buying lappies for anyone who scores today.
12:03Palmer, who are you?
12:04The guy that really wants to score now.
12:06Yeah!
12:07Hitch, who are you?
12:08The captain of this ship, old man.
12:10Who are you, big Moe?
12:11Shorzy's big brother.
12:13Oh fuck.
12:14Who are you?
12:15Yeah.
12:16Yeah, me too.
12:19I'm Moe's little brother.
12:22Good, you know who you are.
12:23Who are we?
12:25Who are we?
12:25We're the no-show fucking North Stars boys.
12:28Let's make sure they never forget who we are.
12:33Blaney, Blaney, I gotta know.
12:36You begged me to stay on this team.
12:38You fought three basketball players for it.
12:40You're here for the strippers and nothing more, aren't you?
12:43There's another reason.
12:44What?
12:45Love scoring goals.
12:47I want you to see
12:54In my window
12:59Lose your arms
13:03And all your skin
13:08Feel like you can smell
13:20I'll be right back
13:20In my window
13:30In my window
13:30And all your skin
13:30Are you going to see
13:30In the bedroom
13:30In the bedroom
13:30You're going to see
13:30In the bedroom
13:30The pool
13:30Is my room
13:31In the bedroom
13:31In the bedroom
13:42You're going to see
16:02I fooled them with this one.
17:26I tried to give you as much time as possible but I'm freezing my tits off.
18:18I'll give you your answer.
19:16I'll give you your answer.
19:46I'll give you your answer.
20:10I'll give you your answer.
20:40I'll give you your answer.
20:46I'll give you your answer.
21:18I'll give you your answer.
21:43I'll give you your answer.
22:11I'll give you your answer.
22:23I'll give you your answer.
23:06I'll give you your answer.
23:25I'll give you your answer.
24:05I'll give you your answer.
24:21I'll give you your answer.
24:46I'll give you your answer.
24:48I'll give you your answer.
24:52I'll give you your answer.
25:01I'll give you your answer.
25:04I'll give you your answer.
25:14I'll give you your answer.
25:27I'll give you your answer.
25:29I'll give you your answer.
25:49I'll give you your answer.
26:17I'll give you your answer.
26:17I'll give you your answer.
26:17You
Comments