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00:08The Silly Pigeon
00:09People always say you can't choose your family.
00:11But you can choose your friends.
00:14And then you can get your friends to look after your family.
00:18The Silly Pigeon had run away forever, ha ha.
00:21And leave everybody behind.
00:23This made him a sad Silly Pigeon.
00:27It's a bit grim, no?
00:29I got it for me when Dad died, so I'd understand.
00:32You know someone is a proper friend when they're there for you when you need them the most.
00:37Everyone needs a friend.
00:42What? Why?
00:44Where's mine?
00:46I only had enough money for one, so we're gonna have to share.
00:48I'm so sick of this place, like.
00:51Cork is just a dead end.
00:53We're broke.
00:55We can't get jobs.
00:56We're still living at home with my annoying mime dickhead guard in the house.
01:00We can't even get any sleep because that baby crying all the time.
01:03We always said we need to get out of this place and thrive.
01:08But here we are, still, years later, sharing a lolly.
01:11But what about Star, like?
01:12But you don't even have access to her.
01:14If you go abroad and make shitloads of money you can prove yourself and be a proper dad?
01:19You'll never be able to do that here.
01:21No, you are right.
01:22You are right.
01:23I just, I obviously had to ask her or else I wouldn't be a good dad.
01:26Alright, where we go?
01:27Alright.
01:30Tenerife.
01:31Tenerife.
01:31Think about it, boy.
01:32It's like going on holidays but you never have to come home.
01:34Yeah, and you could work in the sun, boy.
01:35And smoke cheap fags and all.
01:37Exactly, boy.
01:38Can you imagine living on an island?
01:42That would be unbelievable, boy.
01:44Tenerife's class.
01:45Surrounded by water.
01:46It's unreal.
01:47Here, we've got an announcement to me.
01:49We are moving to Tenerife.
01:56That's a great idea.
01:58Aw, thanks, Heely.
01:59No, it's not.
02:01You wouldn't your hole survive in Tenerife?
02:03It's better than surviving in this shit hole.
02:05We might actually thrive in Tenerife.
02:07Yeah.
02:08Conor, you can't go anywhere.
02:09The farther you go from this house, the more trouble you get in.
02:12You belong here.
02:13Even I have come to terms with that.
02:15Alright?
02:16Can you do that somewhere else?
02:18No, I can't.
02:19Alright?
02:19I'm up against Lara Gibson for this promotion and she is perfect.
02:24Not in a woman way, in a guard way.
02:28Ah, how you got there?
02:31What's the story?
02:32Is there a car?
02:33Conor there.
02:33Back, Billy.
02:35Ah, wait.
02:39Oh!
02:41What was that for?
02:43For being a shit friend.
02:45What did you hit me for?
02:46Guilty by association.
02:48I got stuck in the floor of my house for two days.
02:51Two fucking days.
03:07Help!
03:09Is there anybody there?
03:12It's not funny.
03:13It's not funny.
03:14Don't laugh.
03:15I almost soiled myself.
03:18I could have died on my own.
03:22And you didn't even show up for me.
03:24Billy, since when is it my responsibility to check if you're alive or not if I haven't seen you?
03:28Since we're friends, you'd show up for him though.
03:30Yeah, that's different.
03:31We always know where each other are so that would be impossible.
03:34Billy, why are you here?
03:35Did you come here just to punch us or I?
03:37No.
03:38Look, I've got this big job on and I was going off of you first refusal because we're friends.
03:46We are still friends, aren't we?
03:48Yeah, we're still friends.
03:49It's just...
03:50I have a hoist.
03:52It's in a whiskey distillery.
03:54Some of the bottles are sold for 20,000 euros each.
03:5720 grand?
03:58Holy shit.
03:59And they make a shit ton of them.
04:00They wouldn't even know if some of them weren't missing.
04:02And as far as the job is concerned, a fucking monkey could do it.
04:06That's what he thought of you.
04:07Well, I'm not a monkey.
04:08I'm a pre-mate.
04:09No, but honestly, it's the easiest money you're ever going to make.
04:12Alright.
04:13We're in.
04:14Yeah.
04:15We're in.
04:16We?
04:17Yeah.
04:17We.
04:18Yeah, we.
04:18There's no we.
04:19Oh, he comes swanning back in like a...
04:22Like a...
04:23Like a fucking swan.
04:25No, no, no, no.
04:26Two-man job.
04:27Me, you.
04:28Billy, I'm not doing it unless Jack's involved.
04:29That's the plan.
04:30We're walking.
04:32Alright.
04:33But I don't want to hear nothing from you about an equal split.
04:36Alright.
04:3733%.
04:38That's it.
04:39Each.
04:40Yeah, grand.
04:41Not a chance, Billy.
04:42That's not fair at all.
04:43Yeah, no.
04:45That's it.
04:46Very funny.
04:47You in?
04:53Yeah.
04:54Boy.
04:55I'm really nervous.
04:56I was only doing the hand thing.
04:58Yeah, it's kind of our thing, alright?
04:59Alright.
05:01Let's go to work.
05:06I'll say it again.
05:08I have a cousin who's working on the inside and he's going to sneak us in like the Greeks
05:15did with that big Trojan horse thingy in Troy.
05:18Oh, yeah.
05:18What was that called again?
05:20A big sneaky wooden horse of Troy.
05:22Oh, yeah.
05:23Okay.
05:24What we're looking for are these beauties.
05:29Kilvara.
05:3050-year-old triple distilled whiskey.
05:34Very, very rare.
05:37That's for 20 grand.
05:39Once we have these, we get changed in to the security guard uniforms that my cousin has
05:46stashed for us.
05:47Then we set off the fire alarm and we just walk out the door in all the confusion.
05:54What's going on here?
05:56Oh, what's going on here?
05:57Nothing.
05:58We're, um...
05:59Just playing chess.
06:00Yeah.
06:00They learn chess.
06:01With condiments.
06:02No, with these, um, guys.
06:05Queen to C4 will be the next one.
06:07Yes.
06:07No, you can't.
06:08Fuck.
06:09It's already not.
06:12Have you got it?
06:13I know we're escaping this.
06:14One more time.
06:16Alright?
06:17It sort of felt like we were in Ocean's Eleven.
06:20I haven't seen the first ten, but they made it look kind of sexy.
06:24Instead, we were in the dark, getting rolled around in old barrels and ended up with a lot of splinters
06:28in our holes.
06:32Hi.
06:33Hi.
06:34Hi.
06:35Hi.
06:36Hi.
06:43Are you serious?
06:45Oh, shit.
06:46In and out.
06:47Easiest money you'll ever earn.
06:49A monkey could do it.
06:50Don't blame me.
06:51My cousin said the alarm was going to be deactivated all day Wednesday.
06:55By it's Tuesday.
06:57It's hardly a foolproof plan, alright, Billy?
06:59You calling me a fool?
07:01Hello?
07:02Go, go, go, go, go.
07:06Hello?
07:09Who's there?
07:14Come out now.
07:16I have a taser.
07:18A taser?
07:19I know you're there.
07:20I can hear you.
07:22I can smell you.
07:25There's no point in hiding like a chicken shit.
07:28Who are you calling a chicken shit?
07:31She got you.
07:33Right?
07:34Hey!
07:35Better have your taser.
07:40Come on.
07:41Come on.
07:42Come on.
07:45We needed a change of plan.
07:47And if there's one thing me and Jock can do, it's blend in.
07:50Don't be afraid of it.
07:51We're going to get properly...
07:55stuck into it.
07:57Everyone knows Americans can't drink till they're 21,
07:59so they have to come over here to learn how to do it properly.
08:02They've got to learn from the best, I suppose.
08:06Excuse me?
08:07This is a private tour for our American guests.
08:13We're fully aware that it is a private tour, sir.
08:18My friend and I here are Americans.
08:22What?
08:23They're right, Kyle.
08:27G'day, mate.
08:29I need to go for a piece.
08:31I'll go a little loose, but back now.
08:34You're what?
08:35I can't do Americans.
08:36Just go in there.
08:38Please, continue.
08:40Can you hurry up?
08:41We're going to the Blarney Stone early in the morning.
08:43Yeah, yeah.
08:44Always Blarney, isn't it?
08:47So, we're going to take a sip?
08:49Yeah.
08:49I can't finish you two pricks ran off and left me trapped in there.
08:54Yeah, well, there's no point blaming it for now, is it?
08:56Attention, there's been a break-in.
08:58Be on the lookout for three men acting sufficiently.
09:01We need to move out of here as quickly as we possibly can.
09:11Excusez-moi.
09:14Do you have a description?
09:15Yes, two in their twenties and one in their fifties.
09:19Fifties?
09:20I'm in my prime fucking perk.
09:22Copy that.
09:23That's them all right.
09:23They're on the tour.
09:24No, no.
09:25The guards are outside.
09:26Okay.
09:27Everybody be cool.
09:30Put your heads up in the air!
09:31That's a 20-year-old triple distilled single pot whisky.
09:35Is that one of the good wines?
09:37Yeah.
09:38Where to keep the shitter wines?
09:40Middle shelf there.
09:47Jack, you take this one.
09:49Hands in the air!
09:51Do I move?
09:52Do I move?
09:52Hands up!
09:53Hands up!
09:54Relax!
09:55Relax!
09:56Keep your hands up!
09:57Yeah.
09:59Operation nap time complete.
10:06Conor and Jack are out and the baby's asleep and we give the whole house to ourselves.
10:12Great, isn't it?
10:12Yeah.
10:14I'm going to polish my baton.
10:16Maybe I can polish your baton for you.
10:19No, you're grand.
10:20It's a specific technique.
10:21You kind of got to do these little circles otherwise you get...
10:23For a guard, you are really bad at taking cues.
10:27Do you want to ride?
10:28Yeah, of course.
10:30Yeah.
10:31Developing chains here in Cork this evening as a robbery turns into a hostage situation.
10:36Three male suspects are holding a group of tourists hostage.
10:40Love, there are thousands of criminals in Cork, okay?
10:43Not every crime is Conor and Jack, yeah?
10:45But I don't know how I remember.
10:46It's been paranoid.
10:46TV footage from the scene shows the suspects.
10:50They have now been identified as Conor McSweeney.
10:52Tony!
10:55Oh, great.
10:57Look, Mum!
10:58Dad's on the telly!
10:59Jesus Christ!
11:01He's been out for five minutes!
11:08I told you this was stupid idea.
11:10It's really crazy.
11:11Mr. Gargi, we have you surrounded.
11:13Look, they're going to want to negotiate.
11:16The most important thing is we don't let them get in our heads.
11:20Conor, my name is Sergeant Gibson.
11:23No, let me talk to them, right?
11:25Boy, you're too emotional, aren't you?
11:28Fine, yeah, fine, go.
11:30Okay.
11:33All right.
11:34Conor speaking.
11:36Go ahead, Conor.
11:38I just wanted to get to Teneri, all right?
11:40I didn't know this was going to happen.
11:41I just broke the seatbelts.
11:43I didn't mean to...
11:44Relax, relax.
11:45If they hear fear in your voice, they're going to know.
11:49They're going to think we're amateurs.
11:50Why, we are amateurs.
11:52What they're going to need is clear and precise demands.
11:56Or else they're going to run in here and kill every one of us.
12:00Not all of us.
12:04Stay with me, Conor.
12:07They're still there.
12:08Conor again.
12:10We have some very clear and precise demands.
12:14We would like...
12:18Three...
12:18A park, eh?
12:20That's a motorbike, boy.
12:22Look at that.
12:22And three motorbikes as well.
12:24That's going to take time to organise, Conor.
12:28No, boy, that's a good thing.
12:29That's a good thing.
12:29Say more weird shit.
12:30They'll buy us time.
12:31We want...
12:32We want three cork jerseys.
12:35And...
12:35A portable tree.
12:36A portable tree.
12:37House.
12:38A portable tree house.
12:39Yeah.
12:40And a plane to get us out of here.
12:41That can land on water.
12:42That can...
12:43One of those planes that can land on water.
12:44So you can land, like, near an island.
12:46Yeah.
12:46The one's in kind of Indiana Jones.
12:49I'll see what I can do.
12:50But in the meantime...
12:52Bitch.
12:52As a sign of good faith...
12:54I'm going to need you to release two hostages, Conor.
12:57Just give them...
12:58Two of the most unhealthy-looking ones.
13:09There are a good two hostages out now.
13:10It's going to make them.
13:11I got here as soon as I could.
13:13Right.
13:13The little one trusts me now, and he's scared.
13:15I'm in his head.
13:16Good work, Sergeant Gibson.
13:17What can I do to help?
13:19You can start by standing on the other side of that tape.
13:21He can't be involved considering his conflict of interests.
13:23I don't have conflicted interests.
13:26Two of the three suspects live with you.
13:28One of them is your stepson.
13:30If those two boys were curry, your arthole would be burning.
13:33Yeah.
13:34I can't eat curry, so the joke's on you, Gibson.
13:36She's right.
13:37Stand down.
13:38He's not my stepson, okay?
13:40He's my wife's fuck-up of a son, all right?
13:41That's just an unfortunate circumstance.
13:43My priority is my job.
13:45The missus doesn't look too happy to hear that.
13:50Nice, Tony.
13:52Mairead, I didn't mean it like that, okay?
13:54Nice.
13:59Come here, come here.
14:00I was thinking, okay?
14:01I've seen this thing on the telly, right?
14:03Where people fall in love with their kidnappers, okay?
14:05It's called Stockdown Syndrome, right?
14:07It's supposed to be a bit old to be trying to get the shift.
14:10What?
14:10No, not the shift, Judy, boy.
14:12I'm seeing if we can get them to like us, boy.
14:14Surely that's a good thing.
14:15Get them on our side.
14:16Well, Caprily, how can we get them to like us?
14:19At the same point, all Irish people get foreigners to like them.
14:41Billy's uncle is actually Michael Collins.
14:44Oh, wow.
14:45Yeah, yeah, but not the Michael Collins.
14:47Michael Collins, he used to have a chipper on Barrick Street.
14:53My southern belle!
14:55My stepmom's aunt is from Donegal.
14:59So you are Irish?
15:03I love Ireland.
15:04It's so beautiful.
15:06It's a bit shit when you don't have any money.
15:08Come on, that's everywhere, sweetie.
15:10Lord ain't ever no more!
15:12How come you didn't move here so?
15:14Well, you know, it's not home.
15:16Home is where you feel safe and complete.
15:20Besides, the water here gives me the squirts.
15:23Same.
15:24USA!
15:26USA!
15:27USA!
15:28USA!
15:28Very real!
15:30Very real!
15:32What a chance, boy!
15:33That was the 20 grand bottle, you idiot!
15:36What?
15:36It sure doesn't taste like 20 grand.
15:38He wouldn't have used that one if you had told him, all right?
15:41You just...
15:42You just...
15:43Meant to be like, I will remember, calmed out.
15:45You just cost me 20 grand.
15:48Oh, why did I drag you two along?
15:51We didn't ask to come here, all right?
15:52You invited us.
15:54I was being a good friend and look where that got me.
15:57A friend?
15:57Why you throw punches around like it's confetti, all right?
16:00You're the worst friend I've ever had.
16:02You forgot all about me when he swanned back into town,
16:06and then you just mess up my heist.
16:09I'm not the one who triggered the alarm,
16:11because I can't tell the difference between Tuesdays and Wednesdays.
16:14Watch it.
16:15Oh, watch it.
16:15Or what, boy?
16:16Oh, let me guess.
16:17You're gonna kick the shit out of us.
16:19I thought, you know what?
16:20Maybe Billy's all right.
16:21Maybe he says, oh, and then you go full psycho Billy
16:24and make everyone around you suffer.
16:25Oh, here we go.
16:26The truth is it.
16:27We're not friends now, are we?
16:29Oh, you want the truth, boys?
16:30Friends don't do bad shit to each other to make themselves feel good.
16:33Friends do good things to big each other off.
16:36You've never been a good friend in your entire life.
16:38Conor, Conor.
16:42Conor comes to the door, Conor.
16:44Ma'am.
16:48Ma'am, I'm sorry.
16:50I didn't think we were gonna get caught.
16:53That's the problem, Conor.
16:54You never think.
16:57All the things you've done, this is the worst.
17:00But hostages?
17:01This is only gonna end one way.
17:03We don't even have anything to show off for it
17:05and there's no way out, so...
17:07Look, we're gonna just turn ourselves in.
17:09What?
17:10Oh, boy, we can't do that.
17:11I'll never see Star again.
17:12Ma'am's right.
17:13The only way to get out of this is to do the right thing.
17:18You better hope none of those hostages are hurt.
17:22They're not violent boys, okay?
17:24They're just idiots.
17:25They never hurt any of them.
17:27Is that right?
17:29Thanks for that.
17:33Wait, Con. Con.
17:35Remember the bedtime story I used to read you?
17:38Ma'am, I don't think now's the right time to be bringing up big boys do wheeze.
17:41Oh, shut up. Not that one.
17:43Do you remember the silly pigeon?
17:46Yeah.
17:47Con.
17:48I think you need to be the silly pigeon.
17:52But isn't that the one where the pigeon runs away and doesn't come back?
17:57Forever.
18:03Come on.
18:10What do you want?
18:11She's fine.
18:12Can you put Star on the phone there, please?
18:14It's a bit cheeky calling from a crime scene asking to talk to Star.
18:17Sorry, I'm sorry, okay, but...
18:20Me and Con, we messed up, alright?
18:22And we're gonna have to probably go away for a while.
18:24And it's not fair that you have to tell Star, so...
18:27Can you just put her on the phone? I should do it. I'm her dad.
18:31Star, come here.
18:36I guess you're not okay.
18:39Hi, Dad, I saw you on the TV.
18:42Waste there.
18:47Erm...
18:47Myself and Con are probably gonna have to go away for a little while, okay?
18:51Like a holiday?
18:52Yeah, yeah, yeah, like on a holiday, yeah.
18:55I'll go pack my swimming tugs in my bag.
18:59No, love, erm...
19:03It's just a mean con holiday.
19:06But I'm gonna miss you, alright?
19:08I really love you, Con.
19:10And I'll always have your back.
19:13I love you too, mate.
19:16I love you to the moon, alright?
19:18And all the way back?
19:20All the way back, always.
19:23Because you're my star.
19:26Bye, bye, love.
19:35Please tell me you talked some sense into him.
19:37If by sense you mean I told him to run.
19:39You can't be serious.
19:40I did the right thing for my son.
19:43If you can't support that, then...
19:46maybe I'm not right for you.
19:48Get into position.
19:53Conor!
19:54Conor!
19:56Conor, they're coming!
19:58Conor!
19:59They have guns.
20:00They're coming!
20:00Come on.
20:07Jesus, lads, we gotta get out of here.
20:08I'll beat you, sis. There's no way out.
20:11There is one whale.
20:13Why didn't you say that earlier?
20:15I thought you were assholes before, like,
20:18but you're actually alright.
20:19See, I never had any friends...
20:21Yeah, yeah, okay, where is he?
20:23Oh, that barrel's fake.
20:25There's a ladder inside leads to a secret passage.
20:27And did you know?
20:29That passage actually dates from 1821.
20:31Yeah, shut up and look here.
20:33Come on, come on, come on.
20:34Just bad, and that's the way I am.
20:36Billy, now is not the time, alright?
20:39Why, there is a ladder!
20:40There's a ladder!
20:41Because I'm beginning to think
20:43I might be better off in prison.
20:45I mean, there's good food,
20:47and a great fight.
20:49Regular bedtime.
20:51And if you've no friends,
20:53you don't tend to notice other people with theirs.
20:57You know what I mean?
21:00Come on, Coyne!
21:01There's no way around!
21:03We're going now.
21:04I'll hold him off.
21:11Goal!
21:12What's he doing?
21:14Being a friend.
21:18Pass the door, pass the door.
21:21What's he doing?
21:22I'm gonna get my way around!
21:25I'll get my way around!
21:27Get my way around!
21:27Just because someone's self-destructive
21:29doesn't mean they're a ticket.
21:31It all depends on when they decide to self-destructive.
21:34If you've done it at the right time,
21:35it can be a gift to those they care about.
21:37I'm gonna get my way, I'm gonna get my way, I'm gonna get my way, and I'm gonna...
21:51Where are we going?
22:08I can't fight you little rat!
22:13Stop right there!
22:16Healy, boy, you have to let us go.
22:19I have to do what I have to do.
22:21Alright. Well, if you have to do what you have to do, then we have to do what we have
22:25to do.
22:35Punch me.
22:36What? Where?
22:37This goes against everything that I stand for.
22:40But your mother is more important to me than anything.
22:42Ever since the first day of-
22:43Wait, what?
22:45I said punch me!
22:47Sorry.
22:47Oh!
22:49Go away!
22:52Hey! You can't go that way, you morons! You're surrounded!
22:55You're gonna go back inside and hide!
22:56No, no, no, no!
22:57Alright, text 20, text 20!
22:59I need...
23:02It's no use to go to open.
23:05Andy!
23:16Oh, for God's sake!
23:26What happened?
23:28They overpowered me and got away.
23:29He can't take a punch.
23:31And she doesn't know how doors work.
23:33Set up roadblocks all over the city.
23:39What was that for?
23:41The hostage takers have now been identified as Conor McSweeney, Jock O'Keefe, both convicted
23:47drug smugglers and local petty criminal Willie Murphy.
23:51Do you like that?
23:52Get your hands off my penis!
23:54This is Democracy Manifest!
23:57Sharon!
23:57Sharon!
23:58It's Billy Murphy, not Willie!
23:59B-I-L-L-Y!
24:03B-I-L-L-Y!
24:04B-I-L-L-Y!
24:04B-I-L-L-Y!
24:04B-I-L-L-Y!
24:09Jack!
24:11You think the coast is clear?
24:13I think so!
24:15Jack!
24:16Ah!
24:19Oh, fuck!
24:20Where the fuck are we with?
24:22Where are we moving?
24:25I think we're on a ship!
24:27We're on a boat!
24:28Where are we going?
24:30John!
24:31Where are we going?
24:32I can't!
24:33I don't dwell on the water!
24:35I know!
24:35I know!
24:35I know!
24:36I understand, okay?
24:37Look, buddy!
24:38Stay calm, okay?
24:39I wanna go home!
24:40I know!
24:40I think I'm tight!
24:41Hey!
24:42We have each other, okay?
24:44We have each other, okay?
24:45I wanna go home!
24:46I wanna go home!
24:47Oh, God!
24:48Oh, God!
24:49Can't we figure it out?
24:50Drink that, okay?
24:51Relax!
24:52We need you to relax for me, okay?
24:53Look, we can't be going far!
24:55We must be going down to...
24:56Boy, that's smooth!
24:57Beyond...
24:58Belfast?
24:59Or...
25:00England, maybe?
25:01Jack!
25:02It wouldn't go farther than that!
25:03Jack!
25:03If they needed more petrol, what?
25:05What's that?
25:05What do you mean, what?
25:06That's a whiskey!
25:07It's...
25:09That's Tony right!
25:16Give me two seconds!
25:17Give me two seconds!
25:19Very rare, 50 years, limited release!
25:24Kind of!
25:25No!
25:26Just stay calm when I tell you this!
25:30Billy put four bottles of that in there!
25:33Wait!
25:34That's sixty!
25:35That's sixty grand in there!
25:37Twenty grand in there!
25:38That's eighty grand when I saw him!
25:40We're rich!
25:41We're rich!
25:42We're rich!
25:43We're rich!
25:44We're rich!
25:45We're rich!
25:45We're rich!
25:46Eighty grand!
25:47I know!
25:47Oh my God!
25:49Valerie!
25:50Ray!
25:51Oh my God!
26:02You expecting someone?
26:04No.
26:05No.
26:06It's your mama.
26:08It's your mama.
26:14It's your mama.
26:18Don't leave me out in the cold all alone.
26:24All we do is hide.
26:27Talk with stupid pride.
26:29When we should unite.
26:32In a world that makes demands.
26:35One of us should lend a hand.
26:37But we dare not change.
26:42How can I exist when I hear them?
26:46Oh!
26:47Hello!
26:48How can I give hope when there's none inside?
26:53I just walk away from all the pain to keep me sane.
26:58Cause I can't face this world alone.
27:02If you ask me,
27:04home isn't a place.
27:08Home is the people who mean the most to you.
27:11The ones that make you feel like you're not facing the world alone.
27:14Home is filled with power.
27:16Release me from the dead.
27:19And relieve my aching head.
27:21You can save my soul.
27:26It's time when we stop and protect me.
27:40We are the owners of this ship.
27:44It's our.
27:45One, two, three, three, four.
28:15One, two, three, four.
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