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00:00Oh
00:31Well done, well done, well done to last week tonight, we are back, we've been off for the last three
00:37months and we have missed a lot, and I mean a lot, a lot.
00:41Trump was awarded the first ever FIFA Peace Prize just weeks before kidnapping the president of Venezuela.
00:48The latest batch of Epstein files got released, measles numbers exploded across multiple states, which I know seems bad, but
00:54to be fair, not if you're the measles.
00:57Trump repeatedly threatened to take over Greenland, or as he now seems to refer to it about half the time,
01:02Iceland.
01:03The Beckham family went through some shit, and Trump said this while promoting whole milk in the Oval Office.
01:11It's actually a legal definition, whole milk, and it's whole with a W, for those of you that have a
01:18problem.
01:20What? I mean, I guess he's right there, it is actually whole milk with a W, not whole milk.
01:26which I know sounds like nonsense, but it's actually the official beverage of the absolutely real new Netflix show, Detective
01:33Hole, starring, and this is true, Detective Harry Hole.
01:38Apparently, it's based on a Norwegian series of novels, and it's supposed to be pronounced Hula, but respectfully, na, Norway,
01:46it's pronounced Hole.
01:47And that was just the beginning, Sir Ramam Dhani was sworn in as New York mayor.
01:51Eric Adams launched a meme coin that he said would, among other things, fight antisemitism and...
01:57OK.
01:58And the Department of the Interior announced a new coal mascot called Coley, which really felt like an attempt to
02:04bait us into coming back early.
02:07It wasn't even the only time that we were tempted to do that, because there was also the headline,
02:10Beloved walrus penis stolen from New Jersey cheesesteak icon owner is blubbering mad.
02:16You don't think if we'd been on air back then, we'd have tracked down that walrus penis and donated the
02:22proceeds to Doctors Without Borders or something?
02:25Are you new here?
02:27Oh, and at Miss Universe, one contestant did this.
02:30Norway!
02:33This salmon-inspired gown mirrors both the delegates' movements as a baton twirler and the essence of Norway's leading export.
02:43Yeah, that happened. Miss Norway wore this as a costume.
02:48And I guess, to be fair, it does sum up Norway nicely in an image.
02:52I mean, what else was she gonna dress up as? Detective Harry Hole?
02:56But wait, I'm still not done, because the Winter Olympics got underway,
02:59and there's already been lots of incredible action, as well as some personal drama like this.
03:05It was a career-defining moment for bi-athlete Sturla Holm-Legride,
03:10but it's what he said next that he'll be remembered for.
03:13Six months ago, I met the love of my life, the world's most beautiful, wonderful person in the world.
03:19And three months ago, I made the biggest mistake of my life and cheated on her.
03:25Wow.
03:26That is usually not the kind of declaration of love you see in public.
03:31It is why stadium jumbotrons generally say things like,
03:34will you marry me, and not, sorry I fucked your sister, are we cool?
03:38The point is, that guy won a bronze medal, then immediately begged for his ex-girlfriend of six months to
03:44forgive him,
03:45and seemed optimistic that it might work.
03:48He told his country and the world he'd rather commit, quote, social suicide on live TV,
03:54if it meant a small chance of winning her back.
03:57Today I made the choice to tell the world what I did, but maybe it can help, I don't know.
04:04I hope there's a happy ending.
04:06There's not as yet.
04:09Oh, there is definitely not, because she's since put out a statement declining to reunite,
04:14and saying, we have had contact, and he is aware of my opinions on this.
04:19A response that could only be more brutal if she delivered it after winning silver in his event.
04:24And if you're thinking, wow, the biathlon is surprisingly messy,
04:27you clearly know nothing about the biathlon.
04:31Because it's not even this guy's first time causing trouble.
04:34In 2023, he was banned from the Biathlon World Cup after accidentally, and this is true,
04:39shooting his gun in the team's hotel.
04:42Meanwhile, in the women's competition this year, Julia Simon competed for France,
04:46despite the fact that last October a French court gave her a three-month suspended jail sentence,
04:50after she admitted to stealing the credit cards of her teammate,
04:53and an unnamed French staffer, and making $2,300 in online purchases.
04:58She apparently said, I can't explain this, I don't remember doing it,
05:01I can't make sense of it.
05:03And I don't know how this story can get any juicier,
05:06unless she turns out to be the woman that that guy cheated on his girlfriend with.
05:10Because at that point, someone please call Andy Cohen,
05:13we have a new hit Bravo series on our hands.
05:16By the way, Simone competed at the Olympics this week,
05:20and guess what, she fucking won gold.
05:23The French credit card thief won gold!
05:27And you think I don't want to talk about the chaotic energy of Olympic biathletes for the rest of this
05:31show?
05:31Of course I do!
05:33It's all I want to talk about!
05:35But sadly, I can't do that, because, and I think you probably know where this is going,
05:40we have to dive straight in with our main story this week, which concerns what's been happening in Minnesota.
05:45From the surge in immigration raids, to the killings of Renee Good and Alex Preti,
05:49to the massive protests in the streets.
05:51And to be clear, for all this administration's talk of paid agitators,
05:55the protests there came from justifiably furious locals like this almost absurdly Midwestern man.
06:02You know what really pisses me off?
06:04Is the fact that they detain people, cuff them, and then still beat the shit out of them.
06:08They tell you it's immigrants, only immigrants?
06:10It's fucking anybody!
06:13I have friends that got detained, and all they were doing was fucking driving home from work.
06:17What the fuck?
06:18Sounds like you don't fit the definition of the, uh...
06:20No, and I'm not fucking paid to be here like everybody fucking says.
06:24What the fuck is that?
06:25I gotta work in the goddamn morning, just like everybody else.
06:28I'm just here trying to stand up for community, dude.
06:31We're all human beings here.
06:32I don't give a shit who you are, where you came from, what color you are.
06:35It doesn't fucking matter.
06:36This is wrong.
06:38Yeah, and you know you are acting like a bunch of dicks
06:42when you're provoking that level of response in Minnesota.
06:46A state whose whole thing is being Minnesota nice.
06:49They put it on merch!
06:51Other states couldn't pull that off, especially because Florida nice
06:54sounds like a brand of pills you buy from the gas station
06:56that makes your heart explode.
06:58And I will say, this does seem like a turning point
07:02for this administration on immigration.
07:03Polls show the majority of Americans do not approve
07:06of what's been happening, and nor should they.
07:09Because for all Trump's talk of targeting the worst of the worst,
07:12that rings pretty hollow when you see agents doing things
07:15like dragging a U.S. citizen out of his house
07:17in his underwear through the snow,
07:18and taking a five-year-old into custody.
07:21It is frankly no wonder anti-ice sentiment
07:23has spread to places that you might not even expect.
07:26From Pop-Tarts the cat, who posted video with
07:29Fuck Ice on it, to the subreddit Massive Cock,
07:33where users captioned dick pics with things like,
07:36how hard I get when I think about abolishing ice.
07:40To an AEW match in Vegas earlier this month,
07:43where this happened.
07:44Now the face in the eyes of the champion.
07:47Ice!
07:47Go Ice!
07:48Go Ice!
07:50Go Ice!
07:51Go Ice!
07:53Go Ice!
07:53Go Ice!
07:54Go Ice!
07:55Go Ice!
07:56Go Ice!
07:57Go Ice!
07:59Go Ice!
07:59Well done to everyone involved there,
08:01from the crowd getting their point across
08:03in the perfect way,
08:04to MJF going full Jim from the office
08:07into the camera.
08:08The point is,
08:10to the extent they ever had it,
08:12Ice and Border Patrol
08:12have clearly lost the public's trust.
08:15And it frankly hasn't helped
08:16to see grotesque clips like this one,
08:18at Mar-a-Lago on New Year's Eve,
08:20of Christy Gnome dancing with Steven Miller.
08:34look there is so much weird stuff going on in that clip that you probably didn't even notice
08:40the ninja turtle dancing with vanilla rice on stage there here is a better angle of michel
08:46angelo being photographed at the exact moment he seems to realize just how many people in that room
08:51were mentioned in the epstein files now i should say there have been some promising developments
08:58this week democratic leaders seem to have finally read the public's anger and are currently holding
09:03up funds for dhs as a whole as they push for new restrictions on immigration agents and on
09:09thursday this happened tonight borders are tom holman says the massive immigration operation
09:15that's been going on for months in minnesota operation metro surge is coming to an end
09:20we've had great success with this operation and we're leaving minnesota safer there were some
09:25issues here and we address those issues but i'm not going to say anybody did anything wrong
09:31really well first and least importantly you are standing like you're not going to sit there and
09:37say anything because you're a standing man but i think it's pretty clear that a lot of people did
09:42a lot of things wrong not least your tailor because that suit looks like you bought it off the rack
09:47at
09:47fancy press conference clothes for uncharismatic business shreks and look i am glad for any drawdown
09:54that takes place in minnesota if it indeed happens but even if every agent leaves town much larger
10:01problems are going to remain both there and on the national level because we are going to continue to
10:06see this administration obsessively pursue stephen miller's stated goal of racking up 3 000 arrests a
10:12day so given that we thought for our first show of the year it might be worth pulling back a
10:17bit and
10:18talking not just about minneapolis or even just ice but about the massive agency it's a part of the
10:23department of homeland security because as you're about to see a discussion about it its funding and
10:28the sweeping powers that we've given it is long overdue so tonight let's look at dhs so let's start
10:35with its origins because well you might assume dhs is a long-standing part of american government
10:40it's just 23 years old it was founded as a response to 9-11 and if you are too young
10:44to remember 9-11
10:45and i will pause long enough for the rest of us to experience the psychic gut punch of that sentence
10:51very basically in the immediate aftermath of the most devastating terrorist attack in its history
10:56america started screaming and didn't really stop for a decade and while thankfully the riyadh comedy
11:01festival has since healed the world through comedy and we don't need to be worried about who or what
11:05was actually responsible for 9-11 at the time a major concern was that prior to the attacks there'd be
11:11the lack of communication and information sharing between federal agencies so the bush administration
11:16agreed to combine a bunch of them under a single banner to improve coordination but even back then
11:22some felt that that was a bad idea to the point that it was openly discussed in news coverage
11:26what do secret service agents have in common with animal disease researchers nothing except that
11:33in three months both will be working for the new homeland security department an organizational chart
11:38they could give a management expert nightmares 22 agencies 170 000 workers the third largest department
11:45in the government okay first it is a little weird to introduce a government agency like it's a new
11:50sitcom what happens when an uptight tsa agent and a laid-back femur official have to move in
11:55together find out in homeland security thursdays on tbs but the larger point there that this thing
12:02had been hastily cobbled together very much holds because all of a sudden dhs contained everything from
12:07the secret service to the coast guard to femur and tsa but for everything that went in some key
12:12counter-terrorism agencies were left out because dhs had to operate without the investigative
12:16intelligence and military powers of the fbi cia and the pentagon but don't worry because remember
12:22they had those pig researchers so they were pretty much set now as a result dhs tried to justify its
12:28existence in a number of different ways including by explicitly linking immigration enforcement with
12:34countering terrorism in fact it was during the creation of dhs that parts of the immigration and
12:39naturalization service and u.s custom service were combined to form customs and border protection
12:44and ice the two agencies that we know and are being terrorized by today but oversight of all of this
12:50was a total nightmare as the members of congress that oversaw all of those agencies didn't want to
12:56give up control so dhs found itself answering to around a hundred committees and subcommittees
13:01which as the chair of the 9 11 commission explained caused chaos think of having a hundred bosses
13:07think of reporting up this way and that way trying to do your job and yet you're reporting to a
13:12hundred
13:13people it's crazy because it makes no sense and and you could not do your job under those circumstances
13:19yeah that does make sense having an endless cavalcade of rapidly changing bosses would clearly be a
13:25distraction i've got to say you do eventually get used to it i don't even know which of these
13:30companies is going to be my new business daddy yet it's like a mama mia situation except less fun and
13:35way
13:35less sexy but incidentally if it is indeed netflix sorry for all the times i called your catalogue a
13:41who's who of the fuck is this love the ending of stranger things by the way very brown and good
13:48luck with detective hole it sounds great now complaints about the unwieldy nature of dhs persisted
13:56over the years and yet despite that money kept flowing into it even as it became known for things
14:01like its mass surveillance programs particularly of american muslims and its widely mocked color-coded
14:06terrorism threat charts which never dropped below yellow it also became notorious for its willingness
14:11to distribute billions of dollars to state and local authorities in fact on the 10-year anniversary
14:16of 9 11 one california news station compiled just some of what that money had been wasted on marin
14:22county received more than 100 000 in surveillance equipment to protect its water treatment system
14:27from terrorist attack four years after the money was handed out state authorities found 67 000 worth
14:33of gear still in boxes it had never been used several counties and cities bought segway scooters for
14:38their bomb squads each one cost forty seven hundred dollars okay first i'm not sure anything says we have
14:46too much money more than buying a fucking segway and second that is just an unfathomably dorky look
14:53it doesn't scream brave bomb diffuser as much as it does beekeeper mall cop
14:58and with expenditures like that it's no wonder that a 2015 report from a republican senator
15:03found that despite spending over half a trillion dollars dhs was not successfully executing any of
15:09its five main missions and its primary counter-terrorism programs were yielding little value but
15:15because no one in power back then wanted to break apart something that had homeland security in its name dhs
15:20remained the largest federal law enforcement agency with massive funding sweeping surveillance
15:26authority and worryingly unclear checks on its own power it was essentially a loaded weapon sitting on
15:31a president's desk in the oval office only held back by their personal sense of temperance and restraint
15:36all of which brings us back to this guy because in his first term trump and this sleep paralysis demon
15:44used to dhs to push everything from his muslim ban to family separation to his efforts to end daca but
15:51from the very start of trump's second term it was clear they had much bigger plans for dhs starting
15:56with the fact trump put one of his biggest allies christy noem in charge of it and even news stories
16:00about her announcement at the time contained some pretty clear hints that she was a bad choice
16:06tonight president-elect donald trump expected to name one of his staunchest campaign supporters are you ready
16:13south dakota governor christy noem to lead the massive department of homeland security trump once
16:18considered noem as a potential running mate but her star dimmed after writing in her memoir that she
16:23had shot and killed the family dog yeah not great and even trump who has been endowed by satan with
16:30an
16:30ability to survive any bad press whatsoever somehow knew that picking a vp who bragged about speed running
16:37old yeller is a bad move no one wants to share a ticket with john wilkes wolf here in fact
16:43trump was
16:45so turned off by gnome's dog news he apparently said to don jr afterwards that's not good at all
16:50even you wouldn't kill a dog and you kill everything just another brief window into a family dynamic that
16:57a skilled therapist would describe as cha-ching and crucially gnome didn't bring a lot of
17:03non-dog murdering experience to the job she'd never worked in dhs or indeed law enforcement
17:09but in a foreshadowing of things to come as governor of south dakota she was a relentless
17:13self-promoter and as for her state she appeared in various job-themed costumes including a dentist
17:19a nurse an electrician a plumber a welder and a construction worker selling each role with
17:25incredible charisma south dakota has the blueprint for success recently we led the nation a new home
17:31building but we're still growing so fast we need to hire more builders to keep up so i'm pitching in
17:39look i know her performance is pretty flat there but in her defense who's going to tell her that she
17:46that's for sure also i'm in a bit of a tough spot here because i refuse to comment on a
17:51woman's looks
17:52but one of my female writers has insisted that i read something that she's written and i also
17:57refuse to silence women's voices so given that
18:03a ponytail for practical working purposes is intended to keep hair off the base of the neck
18:08and or out of the eyes if you leave the front part of your hair out and keep the bottom
18:12part of your
18:13hair down loosely around your shoulders it's not a working ponytail it's a hairdo and john please do
18:19make sure that you put that second hair in air quotes because there is just no way that clydesdale
18:24tail is the real hair of that dog killer with a bad filler her words not mine her words believe
18:34women
18:36and the thing is no immediately brought to dhs that same unrelenting focus on pr from shooting a video in
18:43the salvador and sakat prison while wearing a 50 000 rolex to cosplaying as a law enforcement
18:48agent from wearing a bulletproof vest on the streets of new york to putting on coast guard fatigues
18:53to dressing up like a border patrol agent on fox news and if it seems like she's got cameras with
18:58her wherever she goes it's because she basically does here she is with a camera crew on the roof of
19:04an
19:04immigration detention facility outside of chicago and fun fact these two men karl frankovich and juan
19:09munoz were protesting outside that day only to be arrested and to hear them tell it that seemed to
19:14have less to do with their actions and much more to do with the presence of known and her social
19:19media
19:19crew an agent grabbed me threw me down i was then zip tied and detained i was pulled to the
19:25ground
19:27and ordered arrested it felt very much like we were just being used for this political theater christy
19:33gnome was able to walk past us surrounded by photographers videographers essentially just
19:37getting us in the background as she walked by then look what happened homeland security sent out
19:42these social media posts showing kyle in handcuffs this one said we will not allow violent activists
19:48to lay hands on our law enforcement and they also posted this government promotional video and there's
19:54kyle again he and munoz were never charged with any crime that's true despite being labeled violent
20:01activists they were never charged with anything so it seems they were arrested just for a photo op for
20:06christy gnome which is if i may quote her own dog's dying words rough but it goes way beyond optics
20:14no
20:15was being put in charge of dhs at the moment when he's experiencing an unprecedented funding surge trump's
20:20big beautiful bill last summer essentially doubled dhs's funding over the next four years and it's worth
20:25looking at where all of that money is and equally importantly isn't going because dhs's resources
20:31is now being pointed at immigration more heavily than ever before to the point that it's being called
20:35a veritable department of deportation ice alone was handed an extra 75 billion dollars to spend over
20:43trump's term tripling its annual budget and leading to this startling fact overnight it became the highest
20:50funded federal law enforcement agency in u.s history if ice was a military it would be the 17th
20:56richest in the world worth about the same as canada's entire armed forces it's true and whatever the
21:03appropriate budget for ice is and they're making a pretty compelling argument for it being zero right
21:07now one thing it should definitely not be is the same as the entire canadian military though to be
21:13fair that's not a perfect one-to-one as i'm pretty sure the canadian military doesn't totally eat
21:17shit on slightly slippery sidewalks now a lot of that money is earmarked for immigration detention
21:24facilities the conditions at which we have talked about before on this show and which are unlikely
21:29to get better given ominous headlines like ice begins buying mega warehouse detention centers
21:34across the u.s but a lot is also going to hiring thousands of new ice agents with dhs
21:40planning to spend a hundred million dollars over a one-year period just on advertising it's part of what
21:46it's called a wartime recruitment strategy and those ads are everywhere slickly produced social
21:53media videos join ice and help us catch the worst of the worst televised ads targeting local police
22:00and a celebrity endorsement these are all part of a major multi-million dollar recruitment campaign
22:06launched by the immigration and customs enforcement agency it's shared images using wartime imagery like
22:11uncle sam and slang like in this post with the caption quote want to deport illegals with your
22:17absolute boys that's going to be on social media it's going to be through streamers so youtube and
22:24other places where user-generated content is but also large-scale broadcast and streaming platforms like
22:30hulu hbo max amazon prime all of this sort of thing yeah i'll be honest i don't love hearing my
22:35employer's name on that list though i guess at least i do get a reminder of what the company's name
22:40is this
22:41year it's it's also slightly satisfying to know that one place though those ads have been running
22:46is in front of aew wrestling meaning that ice is having to pay money to appear alongside this
22:57it's still very good now dhs claims those ads are working they say they've hired 12 000 new ice
23:05agents and offices since last summer while there are good reasons to believe those figures are
23:09inflated we're still going to have a lot more ice agents on our streets this year and that
23:14should be a real concern especially because to hire so many officers so quickly they've had to
23:20significantly lower their standards for new recruits doing things like waiving age requirements
23:24condensing the training period and ending requirements like taking five weeks of spanish
23:29language training which is a bad idea for many reasons including those agents now won't get to
23:33understand even a little bit of bad bunnies music which is sad for them they're missing out on a lot
23:38of joy plenty of political commentary and a metric ton of blowjob descriptions there is a lot in it's a
23:45rich
23:45text and the thing is even with those lower standards one report found that more than a third
23:52of new ice recruits had failed a physical fitness test that required 15 push-ups 32 sit-ups and running
23:57one
23:58and a half miles in 14 minutes which and i do not say this lightly is a test even i
24:03could pass
24:04also and more upsettingly nearly half were later sent home because they couldn't pass the written
24:10exam which covers things like when officers can and can't conduct searches and seizures and it gets
24:15even worse when you learn that during that test they were allowed to consult their textbook and notes
24:20yeah half of them failed an open book test and as we all know that is the easiest kind of
24:27test even
24:28easier than urine that one is actually harder than you think midstream is a delicate dance
24:36and as the former acting director of vice points out this is all a very bad sign
24:41yeah i mean some of these moves frankly resulted in some embarrassing candidates ice agents have tremendous
24:46authority when they're out there on the streets we have to know that these people a have that
24:50integrity are going to when no one's looking are they going to do things the right way and secondly
24:55are they getting into this for the right reason obviously there's a tremendous concern as well that
24:59the administration is going after individuals who harbor some animus towards immigrants right
25:04because it doesn't seem unfair to assume that some might have applied for that job less out of a sense
25:08of public duty more because they oh i don't know want to deport illegals with their absolute boys
25:14and that concern has been compounded by a disturbing pattern of what sure seems like white nationalist
25:20dog whistles in these recruiting ads like this post reading which way american man invoking a meme
25:26associated with this anti-semitic book popular among neo-nazis and this one using the phrase
25:31we'll have our home again the title of a song released by a white nationalist band popular with
25:36far-right groups like the proud boys and if that connection seems at all like a stretch to you
25:40you should know the proud boys themselves don't seem to think so on the messaging app telegram
25:46one chapter reposted that ad next to a picture of a literal dog whistle adding the line message
25:53received oh cool although i do have to say the whole point of a dog whistle is plausible deniability so
26:00saying we hear and understand your dog whistle does sort of wreck the whole agreement but i guess that is
26:06the risk that you run when your secret master plan has to rely on some of the dumbest people alive
26:11now i have to tell you we reached out to dhs for comment and they angrily denied any dog whistles
26:17adding we will not apologize for using patriotic messaging and symbolism in our advertisements
26:21they also told us and i quote one could say we are homeland maxing by removing illegal aliens and
26:29defending our borders a sentence i genuinely feel dumber for saying out loud so that is where money
26:36and resources at dhs have been surging too but the administration is also pulling resources away
26:42from other key parts of the agency and let's start with just the reallocation of resources under ice
26:48because for the record before trump came along deportation was not ice's sole focus it actually
26:53consisted of two branches ero or enforcement and removal operations which handles detentions and
26:59deportations and homeland security investigations or hsi which is tasked with complex investigations
27:05to do things like drug smuggling and human trafficking with many of their targets not even
27:09immigrants diddy's case for instance was run by hsi agents and many hsi officials have long wanted to
27:16be formally separated from ice and for obvious reasons if you need cooperation in a human trafficking
27:22investigation it's harder to get it from someone who thinks that you might deport them but in trump's
27:27second term he has gone hard in the other direction signing an executive order on day one
27:32announcing enforcing immigration law would be the primary mission of hsi and that has had real
27:39consequences as highly trained agents who specialized in things like money laundering and counterterrorism
27:45cases have now been sent to do things like pick up people in parking lots here is a guy
27:49in an hsi jacket arresting people at a home depot in la last year and that is not good because
27:56there's probably other important stuff he was supposed to be doing that day in the first part of last
28:02year hsi agents worked an average of 33 fewer hours on child exploitation cases which is just
28:08maddening there is a reason episodes of svu don't involve them abandoning the case halfway through
28:14because they then have to go spend the rest of the episode harassing people outside of the
28:18fucking lows people would riot but it's not just reallocations within ice not only have cvp agents
28:26been diverted from the border they've pulled in law enforcement from outside of dhs according to one
28:32estimate last year one in five u.s marshals one in five fbi agents half of dea agents and over
28:38two-thirds
28:39of atf agents had been reassigned to help handle deportations and look i'm not saying everything
28:44those agencies were doing was a good use of their time for more on that see any number of episodes
28:49of this show but it is notable that for all trump's justification of immigration crackdowns to fight
28:55drugs and cartels as this former dhs intelligence official points out that's exactly what is being
29:02deprioritized if fbi agents are not working on drug gang task forces then there are fewer investigations
29:10into violent street gangs and drug trafficking cartels and with such a large contingent pulled
29:15from their duties he says drug cartels and bad actors are watching i am 100 certain that they are
29:22tracking that federal agents are being moved out of drug task forces and seeking to determine ways to
29:30exploit the reduced resources on those task forces yeah of course cartels are going to take advantage
29:38drug kingpins by and large aren't stupid mostly because drug kingpins who are stupid tend to spend
29:44a very short time as kingpins and much longer as a suspicious mound of earth somewhere in the mexican
29:50desert it's kind of a self-editing field and i'm still not done listing misallocations of resources
29:57because at the same time that noam has surged funding to some areas of dhs she's actively staffed others
30:03for instance cissa which handles cyber security lost roughly a thousand staffers more than a third
30:08of the agency meaning it is now less equipped to do things like protect our electrical grids or secure
30:13our elections but maybe the biggest example of a department being hamstrung is fema it is the agency
30:19that handles the federal response to disasters many believe it never really belonged in dhs in the first
30:25place and that it's ending up there contributed to its failures during hurricane katrina and if
30:30you're too young to remember hurricane katrina i'm afraid you're just gonna have to off
30:36supposed to say that fema did not have a good katrina perhaps best summed up by this entirely fair
30:43question in front of a flood damaged department complex now soon after trump took office fema lost
30:48about a third of its total full-time staff and it's also been heavily impacted by a new rule across
30:54dhs
30:55which states that every contracting grant over a hundred thousand dollars must now cross gnome's desk
31:00for approval or to put that in terms the christian gnome can understand two wrist watches and that
31:06requirement is clearly absurd generally but especially at fema an agency that handles emergency relief
31:12that needs to get out quickly at one point about 17 billion dollars in federal disaster funds for
31:17states was held up for an extra layer of review by gnome causing unusual delays in payments and i'd say
31:24that i can't even imagine how chaotic that process must look but luckily i actually can because
31:29another of gnome's south dakota rats literally showed her as an overworked accountant with ticker tape all
31:35over the place not exactly doing a great job we have close to 20 000 open jobs including accountants so
31:45i'm filling in south dakota freedom works here governor noam you didn't carry the two josh kiss my abacus
31:54okay it seems once more i find myself in a tough spot because again i have been told to read
32:01something to
32:01you and i don't feel like i can say no the precise way for you to describe what christy gnome
32:08has actively
32:09chosen to look like there is mother of the bride who asked for the exact same hair as the bride
32:16also john while i have your attention maybe it's time for you to be putting a little gray in the
32:21eyebrow
32:22makeup you're not fooling anyone let's be adults about this those are her words she's brutally honest
32:30brutally honest she's a bad person the future is female the thing is
32:35gnome delaying funding approvals at femur has already had serious consequences when there were
32:39deadly floods in texas last year two days after nearly two-thirds of the calls to femur's disaster
32:44assistance line went unanswered now i have to tell you no one's disputed that report saying it's just
32:49false and that report needs to be validified though i believe that sentence itself could benefit from
32:55being spell checker rated and not for nothing gnome's 100 000 sign-off rule meant that according to one
33:02former femur official the femur building itself almost had its utilities shut off last year because
33:08the bill wasn't paid and the truth is so far we've been incredibly lucky that there hasn't been an even
33:14worse disaster where femur's problems were more fully exposed as last year for the first time in a decade
33:19not a single hurricane struck the u.s but our luck can only hold out for so long last august
33:25over 180 femur
33:26employees sent a letter to congress warning the trump officials actions were risking a katrina level
33:32disaster which is a pretty haunting thing to hear and it's more than a little dispiriting to realize
33:37that the frankenstein of an agency that we cobbled together after 9-11 is now siphoning resources away
33:43from things that actually protect us even as it floods resources to a bunch of guys in ski masks with
33:49questionable reddit histories who blast rap rock out of the window of their government-issued
33:53kidnap-mobiles all for the benefit of christy gnome's fucking tick tock so what can we do well first and
34:00most immediately with dhs impartial shutdown over its funding democrats have to use every ounce of
34:05leverage they've got to get major concessions bernie sanders has proposed an amendment that would
34:10repeal the 75 billion dollars in additional funding that ice received and what i don't know
34:15if they'll be able to get all the way to that they should at the very least get as many
34:20hard
34:20enforceable limits on immigration agents activities as possible now second we need to get rid of ice
34:25period public trust in it right now is hovering somewhere between purdue farmer and the titan
34:32submersible it is just not salvageable and if you're thinking well who will enforce immigration law
34:37if ice is gone i don't know maybe the agencies that did it for decades before 2003 as for dhs
34:44as a
34:44whole i would argue it's no longer tenable in its current form and while maybe there is an argument
34:51for having a larger agency coordinating different federal departments it should probably be redesigned
34:56from the ground up and deliberately this time not by suddenly gluing together org charts in a blind
35:02panic but if i can make one last broader point here cosmetic changes just aren't going to be enough
35:08because even if you get rid of christy gnome which you should steven miller will still be there and
35:14even if you get rid of him this administration will remain but even if they are gone and we get
35:19rid
35:19of ice and dhs we're still going to be left with the broken immigration laws that gave them permission
35:25to do what they have done millions of people will continue to be vulnerable because as we've discussed
35:30repeatedly before on this show our current immigration system makes it somewhere from
35:34difficult to impossible for many to come in the right way that boy in the blue hat and his dad
35:40were scooped up despite being in the process of seeking asylum and we've shown you multiple videos
35:45of people being arrested as they showed up for their immigration appointments and that is actually a bit
35:50of a tell because that is clearly not this administration targeting the worst of the worst
35:55it's them desperately trying to juice up their numbers and it is the law that allows them to do
36:01that and that is actually something that tom homan made a point of reiterating to people when he was
36:06first sent to minnesota two weeks ago for the people out there don't like what i should doing
36:11if you want certain laws reformed and take it up with congress
36:15again isis making this up they're enforcing laws enacted by congress and signed by president the same
36:20laws have been on the books for the last six presidents i worked for if you don't like what
36:26ice is doing instead of protesting this building go pro to protest congress tell me you want changes
36:31well hold on there tom why just one or the other people could absolutely do both
36:36porque no los dos if i may quote a phrase it seems most of you ice recruits will have absolutely
36:41no
36:41chance of understanding but he is right there trump's policy of mass deportations is built on
36:47existing laws and if america doesn't like what that policy looks like now that they've seen what it
36:53really means then it needs to do something about it to the extent that we are all horrified by day
37:00laborers and grandfathers and little kids in bunny hats being terrorized by men in masks then we need
37:04to elect people who will commit to writing laws that reflect that and i've got to say it does say
37:10something that to the extent that anyone over the last few months has been protecting our homeland
37:14and keeping it secure it has not been christy gnome in her wide array of fun outfits or whichever
37:2020-year-old dipshit's been pumping out nazi flavored content on twitter it has been ordinary people
37:25on the streets of minneapolis blowing whistles delivering food to friends who are afraid to leave
37:31their houses and marching in the cold even though they've got god damn work in the morning because
37:35if i may quote that gloriously frozen midwestern man
37:40they believe we are all human beings here and that this is fucking wrong and now this
37:47and now local news reacts to a florida delicacy welcome back recent freezing weather in south florida
37:55left thousands of iguanas cold stunned and some people have gotten creative about what to do with
38:00all the invasive lizards fair warning take a break from breakfast for just a minute iguana meat pizza were the
38:07iguanas already dead or were they dying they were already dead i believe they were cold stunned
38:12yeah they're stunned so they used the leg they're still alive would they normally you can't eat like
38:16a dead animal no because that that's like unsanitary so they're killing them and they're eating them
38:25that's illegal i yes sanitized iguana meat okay the fact that you have to identify that it has been
38:33sanitized this ain't dirty iguana meat this is sanitized iguana meat you missed the iguana pizza
38:39yesterday excuse me one more time yes the iguana pizza yeah why
38:49that's our show thanks so much for watching we'll see you next week good night
38:54you
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