- 3 weeks ago
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TVTranscript
00:00¡Woohoo!
00:37The second visit of the week is to Aylesford in Kent and Kitt's Cotty Glamping, owned by married couple Amy
00:44and Mark Culver, a couple who believe in sense and sensibility.
00:49Mark is so sensible, so my imagination's running wild.
00:53And I'm like, oh my days, what is going on in her head next?
00:56I have crazy ideas and Mark's there, wagging his finger. It's like being a child on reins.
01:02Guests after restraint can choose from five themed glamping units for up to £150 a night, with an optional breakfast
01:10for between £10 and £35, and meet hosts who are custom made.
01:16Everything here is themed around our experiences.
01:20Whether it's places that we've visited, films that we love, things that our children love, you know, it's a journey
01:26through our lives.
01:28And when it comes to cleanliness, this pair aren't on the lookout for excuses.
01:33So Amy's very particular about the way that the accommodation is presented.
01:38I think you've called it pedantic in the past.
01:41When the guests arrive, it's going to be as clean as it possibly can, considering we're in a field.
01:47About to arrive are today's first guests.
01:50Oh, my cowboy boots. Oh, is this taking for the fashion?
01:54Oh, fashion above practicality.
01:56Exactly.
01:57Putting their best foot forward are Mark and Annie Ezekiel from Old Town House in Margate, Kent.
02:03On the last visit over breakfast, Mark revealed his outdoor ambitions.
02:08I'm hoping that one of you has got a camping or glamping, because I want Annie to experience it.
02:14You're coming to our luxury glamping site.
02:19And today, they're hoping for some beginner's luck.
02:22Do you think you're going to be converted to glamping?
02:26I just hope it's going to be comfortable, but I think it's not my thing.
02:33Very green, very looked after.
02:36The gardens are tended to.
02:38Morning.
02:39Morning.
02:39Hi. Welcome to Kit's Coatty Glamping.
02:42Tonight, you're going to be staying in Charlie, the sweet retreat.
02:46Oh.
02:47It's £150 a night.
02:49You have the option of breakfast as well.
02:51There's a DIY full English for £30, a cold luxury hamper for £35,
02:56and there's also bargain breakfast, and that's £5 per person.
03:00Enjoy.
03:01Thank you.
03:03Oh, wow.
03:04Looks nice, doesn't it?
03:05Oh, exciting.
03:09Wow.
03:11Really nice.
03:12There is a bed.
03:13You've got everything you need, really, haven't you?
03:15With Mark and Annie bedding in, today's next guest is boning up.
03:20That's where we get our dog food from.
03:22They give me all the meat that they throw away.
03:24We take it and we feed the dogs.
03:27Scrapping it out is Sharven Demibasher of Stone Court House in Maidstone, Kent.
03:33Last time at breakfast, Amy and Mark mentioned their motif.
03:37You're coming to us next.
03:39Yeah.
03:39It's themed.
03:40I'm going to guess it's got a theme of a lot of floral, lots of colour.
03:45What would give you that idea?
03:46I don't know.
03:48And today, Sharven's not expecting to tone it down.
03:52Mark and Amy, I think there's going to be lots of colour, lots of fun.
03:56I think they're going to put a proper show.
03:59Morning.
04:00Welcome to Kit's Coaty Glamping.
04:02Morning.
04:02Tonight you'll be staying in Pamela, our shepherd's hut.
04:05It's £130 a night.
04:07Enjoy.
04:08Thank you very much.
04:09Have a nice day.
04:09Bye.
04:11Wow.
04:12This is luxury glamping.
04:14This is a bit of me.
04:15As Sharven finds himself, today's last guests are feeling guarded.
04:20I've always wanted to go to San Francisco and stay in our trust.
04:25I will support you 100%.
04:26I'll even give you the time off.
04:29Paid.
04:30Arresting development are Emma-Louise Sims and Liv Roberts of the Crown Inn in Saar, Kent.
04:37When they hosted last time...
04:38Hello.
04:39Hi.
04:39Welcome to the Crown Inn.
04:40First impressions delighted.
04:42Looks modern, smells fresh, lots of pillows.
04:46I like to see a pillow protector.
04:48It's very clean, to be honest.
04:50But one set of guests were out of time.
04:53Old country pub.
04:54You would expect a nice wooden bed.
04:57Yeah.
04:58So, come feedback...
04:59Everything you need and more.
05:00A ten.
05:01Definitely.
05:01Some were out of character.
05:04The room, bland and soulless.
05:06Poor.
05:07That is petty.
05:08So today, Emma-Louise and Liv are on high alert.
05:12I'm not going to play a game, but if I find something, we find something, don't we?
05:15Because people are quite critical.
05:17Yeah.
05:17I am expecting a little wow.
05:21Morning!
05:21Morning!
05:22Welcome to Kitts Coddy Glamping.
05:24This evening, you're going to be staying in our Moroccan tent.
05:27It's £140 a night.
05:30Have a lovely stay.
05:31Thank you.
05:32Enjoy.
05:35I'm looking at the bird poo on the sign.
05:37And the dirty entrance.
05:42Wow, yeah.
05:44Yeah, he's not a bit me.
05:45I'm buzzing.
05:46I know you are.
05:47I love a bit grumping.
05:47I'm happy for you.
05:49Can you be happy with me?
05:50I will try.
05:52With the hosts out of the way, the guests can see if Kitts Coddy Glamping is pitch perfect.
05:58They are nice.
05:59Feel good quality, don't they?
06:00Oh, that's nice.
06:02Arrived as guests, leave as friends.
06:03Oh, that's lovely.
06:05There's no dust anywhere.
06:07Oh, they're very damp.
06:08They are quite damp.
06:09Oh.
06:10Fluffy pillow, nicely washed and ironed and everything.
06:14Oh, my goodness, Lev, look.
06:15Oh, the dust here, look.
06:18I can feel the heat coming out.
06:20Oh, can you see that?
06:22Oh, it's a bit dirty.
06:23It's all dirty.
06:25How is that rhinoceros?
06:26I don't know in English.
06:27Rhinoceros.
06:28Rhinoceros.
06:28Rhinoceros, yeah.
06:29Look, dust again.
06:34Wow, okay.
06:36I assume this is for everyone to use.
06:38This looks like the ladies.
06:42Oh, it's much better than I expected.
06:45Can you see the cobwebs, look?
06:47Look.
06:48There's a bit of limescale.
06:49They've missed this.
06:50Spotless, isn't it?
06:51I mean, it squeaks.
06:52It's so clean.
06:54Do the test.
06:55Nice and clean the toilet.
06:57What do you think?
06:57Would you have a bath with me outside?
06:59Have a nice glass of champagne.
07:01Yeah.
07:01It'd be lovely, wouldn't it?
07:02Romantic.
07:02Yeah.
07:03Must be shared.
07:05Oh, it's a good size.
07:07Oh.
07:08Oh, that's nice, man.
07:10That's nice.
07:11Oh, it's got to be.
07:12Oh, no.
07:13It's mould.
07:14Oh, no, look.
07:15Oh, so you've got some marshmallows.
07:18Yeah.
07:19So there's a bit of dirt around the plug hole.
07:21All around here, around the edges, you can see, yellow.
07:24There's a bit of mould in the corner there.
07:26Room inspection's almost over.
07:28Mark and Annie are kidding around.
07:30Oh, look at that.
07:31Two mattresses so you can have two kids.
07:33I'd love it here if I was a kid.
07:35I love it here now.
07:36Yeah, exactly.
07:38Sharban's feeling zen.
07:39That's a Buddhist frog.
07:41Num.
07:43And Emma-Louise and Liv have called in the cavalry.
07:47I was looking at the towel and this.
07:49It may just be the cold, maybe, rather than the dampness.
07:53But I can swap those for you.
07:55That's not a problem.
07:55Perfect.
07:56Thank you.
07:56That was fun.
07:57Thank you.
07:57No problem.
08:01In 455 AD, Aylesford was the site of a huge battle
08:06between native Britons and invading Anglo-Saxons.
08:09And today, the hosts are hoping swords won't be drawn
08:12as they take their guests to visit the Elizabethan building
08:15Eastgate House in nearby Rochester.
08:18Can't wait to explore this old property.
08:21And as the group head inside...
08:23Hello.
08:24It's over to guide Lisa.
08:26We're now in the 17th century kitchen.
08:29I've got some objects around this room for you to guess what they are.
08:33The first one is...
08:35It's a tray.
08:37Cake.
08:37Cake maker.
08:37Jelly mould.
08:38Closed.
08:38You're very close.
08:39Fish mousse mould.
08:41Yeah, fish mould.
08:42So the next item...
08:44Anyone?
08:44Hot water bottle.
08:45Very good.
08:46Can I borrow it for tonight, please?
08:48You won't need that tonight.
08:51I do sense a little bit of tension.
08:54I think it might just have been a little dig, maybe.
08:58Gadget's guest.
08:59The group head upstairs to dive into the design.
09:02Oh, what does everybody make of this deckle, then?
09:05I love the ceilings.
09:06I love the ceilings.
09:07I love the ceilings.
09:07Yeah.
09:08The panelling as well.
09:09That's nice.
09:09It is nice.
09:10I'm glad you like old and interesting buildings, because my place is almost 700 years old.
09:17Wow.
09:18Dates to the medieval period, and goes all the way to the late Georgian period with grand ballrooms and crystal
09:23ball shambles.
09:24That's beautiful.
09:25Absolutely not what we were expecting.
09:27I thought goat yoga, you know, sanctuary well-being.
09:32I think it's going to be very posh.
09:34I think it's going to be very grand.
09:36That sounds like that's going to be an absolute experience.
09:38Oh, too right.
09:39I'm well up for that.
09:41Finally, it's off to the Victorian schoolroom.
09:44If you'd like to please take a seat.
09:47Where the hosts turn teacher.
09:48The bad news is, you're all in detention.
09:53OK, your punishment for today, I would like five perfect lines in perfect handwriting, I love glamping.
10:00I love glamping.
10:01And no talking.
10:06Sir, sir.
10:07Come on, no misbehaving.
10:09Concentrate.
10:10Our hosts were fantastic today.
10:12Here we go, sir.
10:14Good effort.
10:18And effort.
10:21Yes.
10:22It's a weapon you're spelling.
10:23I'm so sorry.
10:24You can see that I'm not used to glamping, because I don't even know how to write it.
10:31They are a really fun couple to share experience.
10:36Yeah.
10:37And with the day out coming to an end, thoughts turn to the evening ahead.
10:40I'm looking forward to drinks and find out more about Mark and Amy's glamping site.
10:44They're a really interesting couple.
10:46I'm looking forward to answering a few questions.
10:54The second visit of the week is to Aylesford in Kent and Kit's Cotty glamping, where tonight, hosts Amy and
11:01Mark have invited their guests for fireside drinks in their outdoor dining area.
11:06Cheers.
11:07Cheers.
11:08Cheers.
11:09Cheers.
11:10As it's raised, host Mark checks in.
11:12I know you haven't been glamping before.
11:15Was it what you were expecting?
11:16Yes, very glamorous.
11:19Did you specifically choose the one for us?
11:22Did you pick up that I love sweets?
11:24I had no idea that you love sweets.
11:26I knew that Annie had never...
11:28Like a private bathroom, so you gave me one.
11:32Sort of.
11:33Just make them jealous.
11:35I knew that you hadn't done camping or glamping before, so it was the natural choice to put you in.
11:42In that one, the girls in the Moroccan tent, because they've got two single beds.
11:48So when I put you into the Shepherd's Hut, it's got beautiful sunrises.
11:52It's lovely for a single person.
11:54It's beautiful.
11:56I do feel that we have got the short straw here.
11:59We're in a tent that's got beds.
12:02With Emma-Louise and Liv left raw by the deal, Charbon wants to uncover ambitions.
12:08If you had the choice to run whatever sort of establishment you could run, what would it be?
12:15I would do anything to have a little boutique-y hotel.
12:21Something indoors, for a change, easier to control.
12:24Emma-Louise?
12:25I think it would be what I was doing now, but I would like to buy the place, so I'd
12:29actually own it.
12:30That's understandable.
12:31Mark?
12:32The dream would be to own a huge five-star hotel in London or something like that.
12:37That would be amazing.
12:37In Rio.
12:38In Rio?
12:39Actually, in Rio.
12:41They obviously enjoy the finer things in life, so I would expect their establishment to be really comfortable.
12:49Yeah.
12:50Dreams divulged.
12:51Next, Mark's feeling iconic.
12:53Who's everyone's childhood hero and why?
12:57I think mine would have to be Roald Dahl.
13:00Oh.
13:00Oh.
13:01What a crazy place his head must have been, and I sort of, I resonate with that.
13:06I can tell.
13:07Because my head's a crazy place, too.
13:10Elvis Presley.
13:12Oh, yes.
13:13In the movies in the 70s.
13:15Did you have the wiggle?
13:16Oh, yeah, definitely.
13:18Check those hips.
13:20Still?
13:20Not anymore.
13:21He's left the building.
13:23Thank you very much.
13:26Myself, 100% my mum.
13:29I don't want to cry.
13:32As a single mum, she always tried to make sure we had everything.
13:38The way I work comes from seeing her, giving all her dedication to work, to provide for us.
13:46Oh, that's lovely.
13:47Sorry.
13:49Yeah, there was a few tears.
13:51I think it was a bonding moment for everyone.
13:53It was a lovely atmosphere.
13:54Drinks done, it's back to the accommodation, where Mark and Annie are feeling toasty.
14:00Does this add to your grandly experience?
14:02Oh, yeah.
14:04Oh, see you in the morning.
14:05See you in the morning.
14:09It's a new day in Aylesford, and Mark and Annie are happy campers.
14:15How did you sleep?
14:17Slept well.
14:18Yeah, really nice.
14:20Really good.
14:21You?
14:22Good.
14:22Meanwhile, Charbon's hailing his hut.
14:26No problem sleeping.
14:27You know, it's really comforting being in here.
14:30But Emma-Louise has muddied the waters.
14:33I was going to have a shower, but I don't want to put my feet on this.
14:38It's dirt and everything, but it is a shared bathroom.
14:41And these people probably wanted to clean up after themselves, but there is nothing in here to clean it up.
14:47Breakfast at Kitt's Cotty Glamping is a self-catering set-up, with continental hampers on offer for £35,
14:54a DIY full English hamper for £30, or a breakfast roll for £5.
15:00And the hosts think they're packing a punch.
15:02We've got barbecues that they can use.
15:05There's gas rings.
15:06All cooking utensils.
15:07We like to make sure that everything is as easy as possible.
15:12Morning, ladies.
15:13Morning.
15:14Here's your breakfast.
15:15Thank you very much.
15:16There's gas rings under the cooking shelter, or you can bring everything up to your pitch and cook in your
15:22barbecue area.
15:22Lovely.
15:23Thank you so much.
15:24Enjoy.
15:24See you later.
15:26With all the hampers handed out...
15:28Wow.
15:29That was good.
15:30..the guests sift through their spread.
15:32Wow.
15:32It's packed.
15:34I would expect at least another type of juice.
15:37Apple juice.
15:38Maybe, yeah.
15:38And there's no hash browns.
15:39Looking great.
15:40They have the yoghurt with granola.
15:43There's lots of danishes, maybe too much.
15:46Next, some need to get kitted out.
15:48I will go and get the matches.
15:51Matches, plates, cutlery.
15:54It's hassle, isn't it?
15:56I don't think me and camping don't, really.
15:58I'll give you that.
16:00Well, it's a bit of a pain that you have to go all the way down there to get all
16:03your stuff and the separate utensils and everything else.
16:07I think, like, tongs and spoons and everything for here could actually be in your room.
16:12A bit unwinded, wasn't it?
16:13Yeah.
16:14I think it's a lot better to have all the cooking utensils, the oil in your hampers, everything you need
16:19on your site so you don't have to keep going back and forth.
16:22Food prepped.
16:24Everyone chows down.
16:25Mmm.
16:26Nice.
16:27Fresh.
16:27Lovely taste.
16:28It's actually really nice.
16:30Mmm.
16:31Nice muesli, nice yoghurt.
16:33Eggs were brilliant.
16:35What about your sisters?
16:36They're OK.
16:37It just took a long time to cook another cold.
16:39I thought it'd have some cold meats, like ham and cheese.
16:42Ham, cheese, yeah.
16:44It was a nice taste.
16:45Nice ingredients and everything.
16:46It was just right.
16:47Presentation was good.
16:48Yeah, it could do with honey and some cold meats.
16:51Yeah, because it didn't need that many pastries.
16:54Tastes ticked off.
16:55Talk turns to cost.
16:57Do you think it's fair, like 35 quid?
16:58Yeah, I think it's fair.
17:00For the amount of stuff and juice.
17:02There's a good amount of food there, isn't there?
17:04One person, it's too much.
17:05For two people, it's not enough.
17:07And I think for £35, I think it's a bit on the pricey side.
17:11It's a bit underwhelming.
17:12For £30, the fact that we've got to cook it ourselves, I wouldn't order it again.
17:16I think they could do a lot to change breakfast.
17:19I was a little bit disappointed for the price.
17:21Would have been better around the £20 to £25 mark, so slightly expensive.
17:26Meals munched, it's time for the guests to get stuck into their anonymous feedback
17:30forms.
17:30How were your hosts at Kitt's Coaty Glamping?
17:35Welcoming and friendly, but shouldn't have had the issues that we had.
17:39Yes.
17:39So I think a nine is fair.
17:41How clean was Kitt's Coaty Glamping?
17:44Clean, tidy, would recommend better cleaning products for Lime Scale.
17:51A nine.
17:52Dust, dirt and cobwebs, pretty much everywhere.
17:57Showering is a good, clean, shuffle.
18:00Yeah.
18:01How were the facilities?
18:02It's more than I expected.
18:04Yeah.
18:05A ten?
18:05It can't be anything else.
18:07The shared facilities didn't work for us.
18:09Damping the tent was a big issue with the towels.
18:12Four?
18:12Yeah, I think so.
18:13Yeah.
18:13How did you sleep?
18:15Excellent nights.
18:16Sleep, a ten.
18:18Great sleep.
18:19Great sleep.
18:19Got to be a ten again.
18:21Yeah.
18:21How was breakfast?
18:22A lot of back and forth to the kitchen.
18:25Hamper needed more.
18:26They needed a better facility than a set-up.
18:29Freedom.
18:30Freedom.
18:30Yeah.
18:30Overall, a good selection.
18:33However, too much for one person, too little for two people, too expensive, an eight.
18:40Great balance for money.
18:41Would swap some of the contents.
18:43Yeah, a nine.
18:44Okay.
18:45Would you stay here again?
18:47Yes.
18:47Well, I would.
18:49Would you?
18:49Yes.
18:50We have just had issue after issue.
18:53It's got to be a no.
18:54Yeah.
18:57Now the guests must pay what they think their stay was worth.
19:01You think that's fair?
19:02Yeah.
19:03The cash will be kept under wraps until the end of the competition.
19:06But for now, Amy and Mark can see if Kit Scottie puts the glam in glamping.
19:12Okay.
19:13Shall we do it?
19:13Yeah.
19:14How were the facilities?
19:16We've scored a ten.
19:17No!
19:22More than expected.
19:24I'm so happy.
19:25Yeah.
19:26How did you sleep?
19:28And we've got another ten.
19:29Great sleep.
19:30Yeah, over the moon with that.
19:31How was breakfast?
19:33And we've scored a nine.
19:34Really happy with that.
19:35Great value for money, but would swap some of the contents.
19:39Well, that's fair enough.
19:40It was a lovely stay.
19:41Thank you very much.
19:42Welcome.
19:42Thank you.
19:43Thank you so much.
19:44Have a good trip back.
19:45Will do.
19:45Thank you.
19:45Take care.
19:46Have a good day.
19:46Bye.
19:47Bye.
19:47So, shall we find out if they'd like to stay again?
19:50Yeah.
19:51And the answer's yes.
19:51Yes!
19:52Yay!
19:54So, that's one down.
19:56So, how clean was Kitzkoti Glamping?
19:58And we've scored a nine.
19:59Very happy with that.
20:01Yeah.
20:01Clean and tidy.
20:02I would recommend better limescale products.
20:05We do have hard water.
20:08It's one of our nemesis here.
20:10Okay, so, how did you sleep?
20:11And we got a ten.
20:12Amazing.
20:13Excellent night's sleep.
20:15Excellent.
20:15That's a strong word.
20:16So, how was breakfast?
20:17And we've scored an eight.
20:19That's another good score.
20:20Overall, good selection.
20:22Too much for one.
20:23Too little for two.
20:24The box that we provided is absolutely jam-packed.
20:27Too pricey.
20:28I don't think we're taking the mickey with the pricing.
20:30Thanks for having me.
20:31It's been a pleasure.
20:32Have a nice day.
20:33Bye.
20:35Would you stay here again?
20:36It's a yes!
20:37Fabulous.
20:38Fabulous.
20:40On to the third one, then.
20:42How are your hosts at Kitskati Glamping?
20:44And we got a nine.
20:46Okay!
20:47Welcoming and friendly, but shouldn't have had the issues we had.
20:51So, the only couple that we've had issues with were Emma-Louise and Liv.
20:56And I believe that we resolved their issues.
21:00How clean was Kitskati Glamping?
21:02And we got a four.
21:03I don't agree with the four at all.
21:06Dust, dirt and cobwebs pretty much everywhere.
21:10Spiders never stop making cobwebs.
21:12We're in a field.
21:13Shower needs a good clean.
21:15We don't know when they use the shower.
21:17Other people may have been in there before them.
21:20I'm disappointed with those comments.
21:22It hurts.
21:23I know it does, but...
21:27Okay, so how were the facilities?
21:29And we've scored a four.
21:31Disappointing again.
21:32Shared facilities didn't work for us.
21:34That's fair enough.
21:35Damp intent was a big issue with towels.
21:38It was cold.
21:39It wasn't damp.
21:41Okay.
21:41How was breakfast?
21:42We've got three.
21:43I'm not even going to bother getting upset anymore.
21:47A lot of back and forth from the kitchen.
21:50Well, we told them they could cook under the cooking shelter, which is literally five yards
21:54from the kitchen.
21:56Hamper needed more.
21:57I don't know what else they were expecting in a full English breakfast.
22:01Caviar.
22:02Hey, are you off?
22:03We are.
22:04Thank you.
22:05Have a safe trip.
22:06Thank you.
22:06Shall we find out if they will stay again?
22:09Yeah.
22:10No.
22:11No surprise at all.
22:14They need to be able to back that up.
22:16Yeah.
22:17Next time when guests check in to Charbon's...
22:20Wow.
22:21That's beautiful.
22:22Emma Louise has a spring in her steps...
22:24Good job.
22:25I'm sleeping alone, isn't it?
22:27...as the host has to stomach some feedback.
22:30Multitude of issues.
22:32Just bile.
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