- 8 minutes ago
Watch How I Met Your Mother () Woooo! ( x265 Silence) Season 4 Episode 8 online in HD on Dailymotion (2005).
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:02Kids, in the fall of 2008, your Aunt Robin was unemployed and a little bit adrift.
00:07So she valued her friendship with Lily more than ever.
00:09Hey, so I hear Marshall has to work late on Friday.
00:12You know what that means. Ladies night.
00:14Oh, actually, one of the teachers at my school, Jillian, is having a birthday party.
00:19Oh, okay.
00:21What?
00:22It's just, I've never even heard of this Jillian person before,
00:25and suddenly she's like your best friend, you can't shut up about her.
00:29Don't be jealous. You and I hang out all the time.
00:32Yeah, but Marshall's always there. We don't get a lot of quality time to talk.
00:36Just the two of us.
00:37That's not true.
00:39So that's when the story gets really good.
00:42So, we go to the, uh, place,
00:47and then that guy asks about the thing with the stuff that I told you about at that place that
00:53time.
00:54Long story short, events transpired.
00:58Oh, my God.
01:00You and the guy from the mayor's office did it in the U.N. building under the desk of the
01:04ambassador from Zaire?
01:05Nice.
01:07I just wish we could have some girl time.
01:09I love Marshall, but he's always talk-blocking me.
01:13So come out with me and Jillian then.
01:15Okay.
01:16But I don't want to stay out too late because...
01:19Remember that, um, thing last month after I went to the place?
01:22Well, you know who said it's fine, but she gave me some stuff.
01:27You still got that yeast infection, huh?
01:44Marshall, I want you to enjoy this moment.
01:47What moment?
01:47The last moment of you and I being even slightly in competition for the title of Ted's best friend.
01:54Marshall's my best friend.
01:55Exactly.
01:55It's a tie.
01:56But all of that is about to change.
01:58Ted, am I correct that you are an architect?
02:02My best friend would really know that.
02:03Would go on.
02:04And what are you currently designing?
02:07Actually, we're renovating the New York Public Library.
02:10Wow, Ted, that's huge.
02:12No, not the New York Public Library.
02:14It's the new public library in York, North Dakota.
02:18Their books are in two sections, fission and non-fission.
02:22And I think you are going to really like what happened at work today.
02:26And so while those bribes did destabilize the regime and caused the death of most of the royal family,
02:31it did lead to looser banking regulations in Rangoon.
02:35So, yay us.
02:37Okay, last order of business.
02:38It's been decided we are going to move forward with plans for Goliath National Bank's new downtown headquarters.
02:44Who's going to design it?
02:45Was my first question.
02:48Who's going to design it?
02:49We've already approached one firm about it, this Swedish architecture collective called Sven.
02:54Sven?
02:56Sven?
02:57Sven was this Swedish architecture collective revered for their bold, innovative designs.
03:03I hated those guys.
03:04I hate those guys.
03:06Swedish architecture collective.
03:09Lame.
03:09Pretentious.
03:10We're not a company.
03:11We're a collective.
03:13I know.
03:13We are Swedish.
03:15We are so cool with our baguettes and our Eiffel Tower.
03:20Dude, Sweden's not France.
03:21You know that, right?
03:22Oh, it's France.
03:24So, anyway, I say to Bilson, Bilson, with all due respect, no, I stand up and I say to Bilson,
03:34Bilson, with all due respect, music, imagine patriotic music playing.
03:40Bilson, with all due respect, it would be terrible if a job that could go to a hardworking American
03:49architecture firm went to a bunch of French guys.
03:54Where is our patriotism, our sense of country, our love of all that is...
04:00Look, Stinson, no one hates every other country in the world as much as I do.
04:04You better have a point.
04:05I do.
04:07I know a fantastic American architect who would be perfect for the job.
04:11Ted Mosby.
04:13So, all you gotta do is come in, pitch your design, I get the board to approve it, and
04:17the job is yours.
04:18Do you realize what a hero I would be if I brought this project to my firm?
04:22And that's not even the best part.
04:23All three of us are gonna be working together.
04:25Ted can be on the conference call.
04:27He can totally be on the conference call.
04:28What's a conference call?
04:29The way it works is, one of us will duck into the other's office and say,
04:33Marshall, the conference call's about to start.
04:36Sorry, guys.
04:37I've gotta go.
04:38And then we go up to the roof of the building and drink beer.
04:42This is awesome.
04:44Drinking at work.
04:46We're basically madmen.
04:48We are.
04:48We're such madmen.
04:50I'm gonna go smack a secretary on the ass.
04:52That's totally what they would do on that show.
04:55What show?
04:57And then we throw crumpled up beer cans at pigeons.
05:02I don't do that.
05:03I totally wanna do that.
05:05Well, I am gonna make that happen.
05:07And seriously, Barney, after everything I went through with Stella,
05:10getting me this opportunity, it really means a lot.
05:13It really did.
05:14You see, kids, when I became an architect, I had one dream.
05:17To contribute a building to the skyline of New York City.
05:21I wanted to be able to point to one of those buildings and say,
05:23see that one?
05:24That one right there?
05:26That's mine.
05:28This job was my opportunity to do just that.
05:36Wow, your friend's having her birthday here?
05:38What's she turning, 19?
05:40No, believe me, this isn't her scene.
05:43She probably just didn't know what kind of place this was.
05:45Lily!
05:46Over here, you sexy bitch!
05:48We've got bottle service!
05:52Oh, my God.
05:54Hey, at school, she's so quiet and normal.
05:56I had no idea she's a woo girl.
06:01What's a woo girl?
06:02Let me explain.
06:03A woo girl is a type of young woman who,
06:06like the cuckoo bird or the whippoorwill,
06:08gets her name from the signature sound she makes.
06:12Now, a woo can be elicited in many different ways.
06:15From a certain song coming on the jukebox.
06:20Oh, my God.
06:21This song is totally about me.
06:24To half-price shots.
06:29From a ride on a mechanical bull.
06:34To, well, pretty much anything.
06:36Oh, my God.
06:37I was worried that I didn't feed the cat.
06:39But then, I remembered that I did.
06:44I swear, at school, Jillian seems so un-woo-y.
06:49Yeah, she doesn't look woo-ish.
06:51Maybe she only observes the high holidays,
06:54like Mardi Gras and spring break.
06:55Maybe she's just a cultural woo.
06:59Now, uh, go easy on me.
07:01It's a work in progress.
07:04Ted, this is amazing.
07:06The detail, the shading, the playfulness of the lines.
07:11This is exactly what Princess Leia would look like topless.
07:14My way of saying things.
07:16So, uh, you want to see my designs for the building?
07:19No, I'm good.
07:21Hey.
07:21Hey.
07:22So, get this.
07:23Lily just texted me.
07:24She's at that bar, Giddy-Ups,
07:26with a bunch of woo girls.
07:30Oh, my God, you guys.
07:32My boob just fell out of my top at the bar.
07:34Drake!
07:35I pulled it out for a free drink!
07:37Woo!
07:39So, Jillian, I hear when you're not flashing bartenders,
07:43you teach the second grade.
07:44What's that like?
07:45So rewarding.
07:46I don't know if you're familiar with the ride technique,
07:49but it derives from the progressive educational philosophy
07:51of Rudolf Steiner,
07:52who founded the Waldorf School, which...
07:55Oh, my God, I love this song!
07:57Come on, you lazy skinks, let's dance!
08:00Woo!
08:02You do, you dumb whores!
08:04Oh, no, thank you.
08:05You ignorant hussy.
08:09Why, Lily Aldrin, you sly minx.
08:13I've been saying for years
08:14that our gang needed a woo girl,
08:16and here you've been hiding a whole batch of them from me.
08:18You do not need a woo girl.
08:19No one needs a woo girl.
08:21Be careful, Lily.
08:22The world absolutely needs woo girls.
08:26If there were no woo girls,
08:28there'd be no girls gone wild,
08:29no bachelorette parties,
08:31no Las Vegas poolside bars.
08:33All the things that you hold dearest, Lily,
08:36would be gone.
08:37Those are none of the things...
08:38The souvenir shot glass industry would collapse.
08:41So would the body glitter industry
08:43and the stretch-hummer rental industry.
08:47Tiny cowboy hats would be worn only by tiny cowboys.
08:52And when brown-eyed girl would come up on the jukebox,
08:56all you would hear would be silence.
09:01And brown-eyed girl.
09:03But who would woo, Lily?
09:06Who would woo?
09:08Would you?
09:10Would you?
09:12Woo?
09:14Who wants to name my booze?
09:16Woo!
09:19Now, if you'll excuse me,
09:21I have a date with Hannity and Combs.
09:26Over the next couple of weeks,
09:27I dove into work.
09:28It felt great to be working on something
09:30that I really cared about.
09:31Finally, the morning of the presentation arrived.
09:34And we believe this timeless design
09:36will radiate the strength
09:39and stability
09:40that is Goliath National Bank.
09:43Thank you, gentlemen.
09:47I left there feeling pretty good about my chances.
09:50Later that night, we ran into Barney.
09:52Hey, Barney!
09:53Give me the good news!
09:55He didn't get it.
09:57What?
09:59The board decided to go with Sven.
10:03Woo!
10:06Thank you!
10:13I can't believe I didn't get it.
10:16I really thought I nailed the pitch.
10:18Why would they go with Sven?
10:19I did everything I could to change their minds,
10:22but they wouldn't budge.
10:24I'm sorry.
10:25Well, this really sucks.
10:28After the way these last couple of months are gone,
10:30I guess I needed this more than I thought I did.
10:35Hey.
10:37You want to go down to the current GNB building
10:40and just, like, I don't know,
10:44just pee on it a little bit?
10:46Yeah.
10:48Yeah, I think I need that.
10:51Finish your beer.
10:52Fill the tank.
10:55Hey.
10:57What happened?
10:58Oh, Ted didn't get that job.
11:01But that's not the biggest disappointment of the day.
11:04What?
11:05We saw you woo.
11:07Saw who woo?
11:08Saw you woo.
11:10I didn't woo.
11:10You did, too.
11:11That's not true.
11:12Your nose just grew.
11:14So what?
11:15You're, like, best friends with Jillian now?
11:17No, it's just...
11:19You're married, Lily, but I'm still single.
11:21Whenever I hang out with you,
11:22I'm usually the third wheel to you and Marshall.
11:25Sometimes it's fun to go out with other single women
11:27and do stuff that you don't want to.
11:29Like what?
11:31Like woo, Lily.
11:33Like woo.
11:34I can woo.
11:35That's not true.
11:36I can, too.
11:36It's just not you.
11:41Billson.
11:42Yeah.
11:42Hey.
11:43Look, I just want to say,
11:45I know you guys went with Sven,
11:46but Ted Mosby is tremendously talented,
11:49and I think he would have done a hell of a job.
11:52I agree.
11:52That's why I voted for him.
11:55So then it's agreed.
11:56From now on,
11:57all ATM fees are now called freedom charges.
12:00Conference call.
12:01Now.
12:02I don't know.
12:06You got something you want to tell me?
12:08Damn it.
12:09I told Heather to put everything back on your desk
12:11the way it was.
12:12Billson told me he wanted to give the job to Ted,
12:15so what happened?
12:20Okay, fine.
12:21We'll radiate the strength and stability
12:24that is Goliath National Bank.
12:27Thank you, gentlemen.
12:36So?
12:37That was great.
12:39I love it.
12:40Yes!
12:40Looks like we got our guy.
12:42I don't think we even need to meet with, uh...
12:45I'm Sven Jorgensen.
12:47With me are Sven Pilsen and Sven Johansson.
12:50And we are...
12:50Sven!
12:51Sven!
12:52Sven!
12:52You are Goliath National Bank.
12:54You are cutting edge.
12:56You are new.
12:57You are fresh.
12:58Women want to be with you.
12:59Men wish to harm you.
13:00But the fool who does challenge you shall be crushed.
13:04Your headquarters will tell the world of these facts.
13:07Oh, and one more thing.
13:08Don't look now!
13:11Which of you is Bonnie Stinson,
13:13head of the search committee?
13:14Oh, my God.
13:15That's me.
13:16You, Bonnie Stinson,
13:17are men of power and virility.
13:19Your office shall be here
13:20in the head of a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
13:22I never knew it till now,
13:24but I've always dreamed of that.
13:26On your large desk of Honduran Rosewood
13:28shall be this button.
13:30What does the button do?
13:31Press it!
13:32Press it for glory!
13:38Yes!
13:39This is the most awesome building in the universe.
13:42There is no way this building could be more awesome.
13:45There is a strip club in the letter N.
13:48Ah!
13:50What the hell is the matter with you?
13:52This is Ted's big break,
13:54and then you sold him out
13:55because you wanted to work in the brain
13:56of a Tyrannosaurus Rex,
13:58which, incidentally,
13:59if you knew anything about dinosaurs,
14:00is really, really small.
14:02Marshall, this isn't about my office.
14:04Ted's building was good.
14:06Sven's was better.
14:07And I am not going to let the fact
14:08that I am Ted's best friend
14:09be a factor in business.
14:11You didn't pick Sven's building
14:12because it was better.
14:13You picked it because you wanted to work
14:14in a cool dinosaur office.
14:15That's a lie!
14:16I picked it because it...
14:19it...
14:19it breathes fire, Marshall!
14:23Fire, Marshall.
14:26I didn't even know that...
14:28How could you do this to Ted
14:29after everything he's been through with Stella?
14:31You're just being selfish!
14:33Marshall, I would never
14:34make a business decision for selfish reasons.
14:37I am a professional.
14:38Now, come on!
14:40Let's get a nice daytime drunk going
14:41and throw empties at pigeons.
14:42No.
14:43No, for two reasons.
14:44One, pigeons are smarter than you think.
14:47They hold grudges.
14:48And two...
14:49This is our last conference call,
14:51Mr. Stinson.
14:52There are repercussions
14:53to screwing over a friend.
14:54Like what?
14:55Like this.
14:56Cool! Cool! Cool!
14:58Cool!
15:23Oh my God, you guys.
15:24Last night, we raised $10,000
15:26for my charity
15:27to help combat childhood illiteracy.
15:29It's a really serious issue.
15:31Whoa!
15:33Someone just earned herself
15:35an ass-first ride
15:36to have a dance floor
15:37at Spank Canyon!
15:40Woo!
15:41Woo!
15:47Woo!
15:48Lily, what are you doing here?
15:49Oh, just doing the fun things
15:51you single girls do.
15:52What's with the plastic fireman's hat?
15:55Oh, I didn't have a cowboy hat
15:57and today was fire safety day
15:58at school, so...
16:00Oh my God, bitch!
16:02This is our anthem!
16:04Really?
16:05Who sings this?
16:07Is LL Cool J still doing things?
16:11This is great, Svenz.
16:13You guys are so much cooler than Marshall.
16:15He doesn't even own a unitard.
16:18Who wants a brew?
16:20I don't understand.
16:22Where is the conference call?
16:24No, no.
16:24This is the conference call.
16:26Get it?
16:27In America, when we work late,
16:29we lie about a conference call
16:31and we come up here
16:32and we drink a few beers.
16:33It's awesome.
16:33This is a waste of time.
16:35Push-ups!
16:39Misty, you are such a slut!
16:41Let's do another shot!
16:42Woo!
16:44You're the slut, you skank!
16:46Shots are on you!
16:47Woo!
16:49No, bitch!
16:50Shots are on you!
16:51You're such a whore!
16:53Woo!
16:54You're all a bunch of prostitutes!
16:56You probably have STDs!
17:01Um, let's go dance!
17:04Woo!
17:09Lily, this isn't working.
17:10You shouldn't be here.
17:11Oh, I get it.
17:12Because I'm happily married.
17:14I'm some kind of loser.
17:15Exactly the opposite.
17:16Lily, why do you think the woo girls
17:19have to woo when they win a game of beer pong
17:21or when a hot guy takes his shirt off?
17:24It's because that is as good as life gets for them.
17:26They're really sad people.
17:29And when they hang out with someone
17:31who's got it all figured out,
17:32someone like you,
17:33it bums them out.
17:34It takes away their woo.
17:36You're just saying that
17:37so I don't feel like an old married lady.
17:40Look at those girls, Lily.
17:42Look at them and listen to what their woos are really saying.
17:46Woo!
17:49Woo!
17:55Woo!
17:56Woo!
17:58Woo!
17:59Woo!
18:03Woo!
18:07Oh, those poor girls and Ted.
18:11I just want to go give them all a hug.
18:14Lily, right now, I'm like them.
18:15I'm unemployed.
18:17I'm single.
18:18I'm a little lost.
18:19So, every once in a while, I need to woo.
18:23But when I need to talk about something real,
18:26you're the one I turn to.
18:28You're my best friend.
18:29You're mine.
18:31And I promise I'll make more time for just us.
18:34Marshall doesn't have to tag along to everything we do.
18:37Hey, have you guys tried these purple Hooter test tube shots?
18:39I've had like five of them.
18:40I don't even think there's alcohol in here.
18:41And where'd you get that hat?
18:44What hat?
18:48Hey.
18:49We fired Sven.
18:51What?
18:51Yeah, those guys were idiots.
18:53I mean, sure, they had some cool ideas.
18:55Some really cool ideas.
18:57Actually, I wonder if it's not too late to...
18:59No!
18:59The point is, you got the job.
19:02Really?
19:03Yeah.
19:04The search committee realized they made the wrong decision.
19:07Plus, you really mean a lot to them.
19:09And they want you to be happy.
19:11That's weird.
19:13Look, Ted, your design was the best.
19:15And you deserve it.
19:18There's also something that you should know about
19:21why you didn't get the job in the first place.
19:24You see, Ted, it was Bilson.
19:26Yeah, yeah.
19:27Bilson just wanted to have an office and a dinosaur head.
19:31But Barney convinced him that it was really, really stupid.
19:34Well, you know.
19:35Oh.
19:36Thank you, Barney.
19:38I can't believe this.
19:39I just got our friend the biggest account we've ever had.
19:42Woo!
19:45Hey, next round's on me.
19:52Why'd you let me off the hook?
19:55You did the right thing.
19:56It seemed like you deserved a bye.
19:59This would have really bummed Ted out,
20:00and he's finally happy right now.
20:03Yeah.
20:04Wow.
20:06You really are Ted's best friend.
20:08Shh, shh.
20:10And so am I.
20:11It's a tie.
20:13Thanks, Barney.
20:15Marsha wound up caving and telling me the truth about Barney,
20:18like ten minutes later.
20:19At which point we tied Uncle Barney to the mechanical bowl,
20:22cranked it up to a setting called paint mixer,
20:23and went home.
20:25I love you, man.
20:26Love you too, buddy.
20:27Hey, you gonna ride the bowl tonight?
20:29No, not if you pay me.
20:30I have an inner ear thing.
20:32It was a pretty great night.
20:38Three hours.
20:39That's a bar record.
20:41That's right, ladies.
20:45Jillian, you know what would be really crazy
20:47and funny and stupid to do tonight?
20:48If you and me find a guy and have a three-way.
20:52Maybe.
20:53We found the right guy.
20:55Yeah, and if we don't find the right guy,
20:58maybe you and I would just...
21:00You know who's pretty cute?
21:02That guy Ted.
21:03Let's go find him.
21:05Let's go find him.
21:08Let's go find him.
21:09Let's go.
21:37We'll find him.
Comments