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Watch How I Met Your Mother () The Three Days Rule ( x265 Silence) Season 4 Episode 21 online in HD on Dailymotion (2005).
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00:02Great. So, um, I'll give you a call.
00:05I hope you do.
00:06All right.
00:08Whoa. Whoa. Look at this.
00:10Hey, I just got that girl's number. Check it out.
00:13Holly.
00:14Nice. Girls whose names end in L-Y are always dirty.
00:19Holly. Kelly. Carly. Lily.
00:22Hey.
00:24Oh, yeah, I know it's true.
00:26And don't even get me started on girls whose names shouldn't end in Y, but instead end in I.
00:33Those girls are like roller coasters.
00:35You gotta wait in a long line, but once you get up there, you just hold on for dear life
00:39and hope you don't drop your keys.
00:41Hey, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna call her right now.
00:44I'm gonna do that whole, hey, remember me? It's been so long.
00:49See, it's funny, because I just saw her.
00:51Dude, you can't call her. You have to wait three days to call a woman. That's the rule.
00:55Barney, that rule is completely played out. Girls know exactly what you're doing.
00:58Hey, I got a new rule. It's kind of crazy, but I call it, you like her, you call her.
01:05I'm sorry, can you repeat that? I don't speak. I never get laid.
01:09Barney, the three days rule is insane. I mean, who even came up with that?
01:15Jesus.
01:17Barney, don't do this. Not with Jesus.
01:20Seriously. Jesus started the whole wait three days thing. He waited three days to come back to life.
01:26It was perfect. If he'd have only waited one day, a lot of people wouldn't have even heard that he
01:30died.
01:31They'd be all, hey, Jesus, what up?
01:33And Jesus would probably be like, what up? I died yesterday.
01:37And then they'd be all, uh, you look pretty alive to me, dude.
01:41And then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected and how it was a miracle.
01:45And then the dude would be like, uh, okay, whatever you say, bro.
01:49Wow, ancient dialogue sounds so stilted now.
01:52And he's not going to come back on a Saturday.
01:55Everybody's busy doing chores, working the loom, trimming their beards.
01:59No. He waits the exact right number of days. Three.
02:04Okay, I promise. I'll wait three days. Just please stop talking.
02:09Plus, it's Sunday, so everyone's in church already.
02:12They're all in there, oh, no. Jesus is dead.
02:15Then, bam, he bursts through the back door.
02:18Runs up the aisle. Everyone's totally psyched.
02:21And FYI, that's when he invented the high five.
02:24Three days, Tim.
02:25We wait three days to call a woman because that's how long Jesus wants us to wait.
02:33True story.
02:48Okay, fine. I promise. I won't call Holly for three days.
02:52But I never said anything about texting.
02:55I started things off with something cute and charming.
02:58I was thinking about you, so I thought I'd send you a little texty text.
03:03And the moment I hit send, I realized it wasn't cute at all.
03:07It was the lamest thing anyone has ever said to anyone.
03:11And the worst thing about texting is that once you send it...
03:20You can never get it back.
03:22And then, you wait.
03:25And just when you've decided never to text anyone ever again...
03:30I've been thinking about you, too.
03:32And how weird is it that you texted me while I was in the bath?
03:43What was that?
03:44What?
03:45You made a noise.
03:46Uh, it was my phone. I got a text.
03:48Not that. You made your naked lady noise.
03:50What?
03:51Whenever you see a naked lady, you make the noise.
03:57I don't do that.
03:58Really.
04:01Oh, God. Sorry, Lily.
04:08While the men are out hunting,
04:10the women of New Guinea's indigenous Korowai tribe
04:12wash their clothes in the river.
04:22That's totally a boob.
04:26Is that Holly who keeps texting you?
04:28Didn't you promise to wait three days?
04:29To call, yes.
04:31Texting is totally different.
04:32Okay, well, just try to keep the naked lady noises to a minimum.
04:36I don't make a naked lady noise.
04:39Really?
04:47Holly and I stayed up texting until two in the morning.
04:51And we spent the whole next day texting each other, too.
04:55She seemed perfect.
04:58Oh, wow.
04:59Holly just told me what she's wearing right now.
05:01It is pretty hot.
05:02Now, whatever it is, I can guarantee you she's not wearing it.
05:05She's lying to you to make you like her.
05:07How do you know that?
05:09Hmm.
05:10Because no woman in the history of the world
05:12is ever just sitting around reading architecture magazines
05:15in my old cheerleader uniform.
05:18Okay, maybe she's lying about the architecture magazines.
05:22Mm-hmm.
05:26Oh, no.
05:28Oh, no, this is bad.
05:30What?
05:30She just sent me a text that was clearly meant for someone else.
05:35Hey, baby, I picked up some takeout from Gennaro's.
05:38Be home soon.
05:40Okay, yes, this sounds bad,
05:42but let's think about this, okay?
05:43It could be for a brother.
05:45Or maybe her sick dad.
05:47Scroll down.
05:50And then I want you to do me on the couch.
05:55Okay, maybe not a sick dad.
05:57Or a very sick dad.
05:59Am I right?
06:02Sorry.
06:05Hey, guys.
06:06Hey.
06:07Hey.
06:08Oh, good.
06:09What is this?
06:11Oh, it's just some takeout from Gennaro's.
06:12I'm bringing it home for Lily.
06:14Oh, that's weird.
06:15Holly just texted Ted something about takeout from Gennaro's.
06:20Wait a second.
06:22You sons of bitches!
06:24What?
06:26You're Holly.
06:32So, Ted hasn't been texting Holly at all.
06:36He's been texting you two?
06:37Look, we knew he'd try to call her before the three days,
06:40so I swiped his phone,
06:42and I changed her number to my work cell.
06:44We were just gonna bust on him for calling her too soon,
06:47but then he started texting her.
06:52Texty text?
06:53Oh, Ted.
06:54Oh, poor sweet Ted.
06:56We should tell him it's us.
06:59Yeah.
07:00Or we pretend we're Holly and we're in the bath.
07:05Yeah, that's better.
07:13Well, that was fun.
07:14We should tell him that it's us.
07:16Yeah, we should.
07:18Or we tell him our favorite color is red
07:21and we think the cowboy look is very sexy.
07:24Yeah, that's better.
07:27I'm wearing them right now,
07:29and they do look sexy.
07:33He put on the boots!
07:34He totally put on the boots!
07:37That was awesome!
07:38But it's time to tell him
07:41who he really put those boots on.
07:43Yeah.
07:43Or we just took off our shirt.
07:47Yeah, that's better.
07:49Oh, oh, you think maybe we're wearing a black lace bra underneath?
07:55I don't think we're wearing anything underneath.
07:58God, we're hot.
08:02Now he's only wearing the cowboy boots.
08:05It is on!
08:06It is so on!
08:07Okay, tell him that we're slowly slipping out of our...
08:12What are we doing?
08:16I think that we're about to have sex with Ted.
08:25So you did this to him all day?
08:27That's just mean.
08:28No.
08:29No.
08:30No, it was actually for his own good.
08:32We're protecting him from himself.
08:34He really likes this girl.
08:35He had that look in his eye.
08:37Yeah, that crazy,
08:38I'm about to move too fast and screw this up look.
08:41It was actually the same look he had on his first date with you.
08:43We all remember how that went.
08:45Yeah.
08:46I think I'm in love with you.
08:48What?
08:49Yeah, well, I think I was a special case.
08:52This Polly is no Robin Scherbatsky.
08:55And what does it do with her hair?
08:57I mean, newsflash,
08:59they make conditioners that don't leave a buildup.
09:02I'm so bad.
09:04Look, it's been a while since Ted really liked someone.
09:07He's clearly got a lot of crazy stored up.
09:08We just, we thought we'd get him to say I love you
09:11before he even makes contact with this girl.
09:13And you can tell it's on the way.
09:14He's exhibiting all the tell-tale signs.
09:16Yeah.
09:17One, he joked about getting married.
09:19You like architecture?
09:21We should get married.
09:22Ha-ha.
09:23LOL.
09:24Just kidding.
09:25Question mark?
09:27Two, he made a crazy way-too-soon trip suggestion.
09:30I like beer, too.
09:32We should totally go to Germany together.
09:34LOL.
09:35JK.
09:36LOL.
09:38And three, he got way too personal way too soon.
09:42Yeah, my parents got divorced a couple years back.
09:46It was really tough.
09:48LOL.
09:50And he clearly doesn't know what LOL means.
09:52Yeah, here's the real problem.
09:54Ted wasn't saying I love you as easily as we thought he would.
09:57Then we met.
09:59Stan.
10:06Why are you making so much noise, man?
10:10So we explained everything to him.
10:12And when we were done, something amazing happened.
10:16Why don't you tell Ted that just knowing he's out there thinking about you, cared about you,
10:20makes you feel safe.
10:22So all your fears, all your yesterdays wash away.
10:26And only hope remains in the promise of his embrace.
10:31Wow.
10:32Go Stan.
10:33Who is this guy?
10:35He's a security guard who works nights.
10:36And he eats lunch at McLarens every day.
10:38And he wasn't done.
10:39Not by a long shot.
10:41You make me thank God for every mistake I ever made because each one led me down the path
10:45that brought me to you.
10:48It's like, really nice, man.
10:51Whatever.
10:52It's okay.
10:54And when we finally come together, I want you to hold me.
10:58Hold me all night.
11:00Stroke my hair.
11:01Tell me I'm a woman and show me you a man.
11:04Until there was only now.
11:06You and I and now.
11:11Yes.
11:13You want me to text that to Ted.
11:16I know that.
11:19I do not ask of the night explanations.
11:22I wait for it.
11:23And it envelops me.
11:25And so you and bread and light and shadow are.
11:31That's Pablo Neruda.
11:33I don't know what bread was doing in there, but that touched me here and here.
11:42Well, if Ted won't say it, I will.
11:46I love you.
11:50That's cool.
11:53It's good nothing, huh?
11:54Maybe he's not in love with us.
11:56How can he not be in love with us?
11:57We're everything he's looking for.
11:59I don't get men.
12:02Got to head to work.
12:03Will you be back?
12:05I'll be back when the wind and fates and chants bring me back.
12:10Which will be tomorrow.
12:12It's cheesesteak day.
12:16Wow, it sounds like you were all over this guy.
12:19I hope his girlfriend didn't get jealous.
12:21Did he mention a girlfriend, or...?
12:25It was all going great.
12:26Until Marshall sent Ted a text meant for Lily and ruined everything.
12:30Well, it doesn't matter, okay?
12:32It's over now.
12:33I gotta get going, but here's what's gonna happen.
12:35You're going to call him right now, tell him what you did, and apologize.
12:39You got it?
12:40Yes.
12:46Or...
12:46Holly explained everything.
12:48It was all just a misunderstanding.
12:50Everything's great now.
12:51Really?
12:52Mm-hmm.
12:52How did Holly explain her way out of that one?
12:55Well, apparently, her dumb friend Marsha accidentally used her phone to text her husband, Billy.
13:00Marsha and Billy.
13:02No one sprained any muscles there.
13:05And now we are better than ever.
13:07Look, I know this sounds crazy, but I think I might actually be falling for this girl.
13:13You're falling for Barney and Marshall.
13:15What?
13:16They didn't believe that you could wait the three days, so Barney changed her number in
13:21your phone to his work cell.
13:23Holly is Barney and Marshall.
13:25Wait, that whole time, it was them?
13:28So Holly wasn't in the bath?
13:33Or sitting by her window, looking up at the stars, thinking about me?
13:40Or lounging in her old cheerleader uniform, reading architecture magazines?
13:48Yeah, I don't think they actually did those things.
13:51They were just at the bar.
13:53Right.
13:54But yeah, it was them.
13:57Oh, unbelievable.
13:58I know.
13:59So you might as well tell them you're onto them.
14:01Yeah.
14:04Or I text them something that'll really mess with their heads.
14:08Oh, I gotcha.
14:10Okay.
14:10How about, I haven't told any of my friends yet, but I only have three months to live.
14:17Not bad.
14:18How about, I once killed a man with a shovel and those feelings are creeping up again.
14:23Uh-huh, uh-huh.
14:24I like that thing someone said before about having three months to live.
14:28How about, I've never told anyone this, but I slept with my best friend's mom.
14:33Oh, that is good.
14:34But I feel like we keep coming back to that three months to live thing.
14:38Wait, I think I got it.
14:39Oh, yeah?
14:42Oh, oh, he texted back.
14:45I probably shouldn't tell you this.
14:48I mean, we barely know each other, but what the hell, I'll just say it.
14:54This is it, dude.
14:54Here comes the I love you.
14:56Wish Stan were here.
14:58Stan.
15:01Whoa.
15:02What?
15:04I sometimes have gay dreams about my best friend.
15:14I sometimes have gay dreams about my best friend.
15:18Why in the world would Ted text a girl he barely knows that he sometimes has gay dreams about me?
15:24Whoa, whoa.
15:25Slow your roll.
15:26You?
15:27He's clearly talking about me.
15:29Dude, it's me.
15:30I'm his best friend.
15:32Okay, one, that has never been proven.
15:34Two, if anyone were to have gay dreams about one of us, it would be me.
15:38I mean, look at me.
15:40Now, look at you.
15:42A still-in-the-closet 80-year-old wouldn't be into that mess.
15:46Here's the thing, Barney.
15:47I'm snuggly.
15:48You're not.
15:49Who wouldn't want to snuggle up next to this business on a Sunday morning?
15:53Wrapped in a comforter, and it's raining outside, and there's muffins warming in the oven.
15:58I'm cuddly, bitch.
15:59Deal with it.
16:00I work out every day.
16:03If there is one thing we know about Ted, it's that he likes a nice body.
16:07This body would rock his world.
16:08Ted and I have a history.
16:10I know what he likes.
16:11There are things I could do to him that would blow his mind.
16:17Why do we keep trying to have sex with Ted?
16:19I don't know.
16:20It's weird.
16:22Crazy, right?
16:23Ted's having gay dreams about me?
16:25And by me, he means M.E., Marshall Erickson.
16:30Star of Ted's gay dreams.
16:32Who cares?
16:33So Ted has gay dreams about one of you guys.
16:36It's not like you found out he has three months to live.
16:39That's like, oh, shocking.
16:41Right?
16:43Whoa.
16:43Hey, look at this guy.
16:44How's it going, best friend of 12 years?
16:48Well, it's kind of weird, but I had this crazy dream the other night.
16:54It's a little embarrassing.
16:55You can tell us, Ted.
16:56This is a safe space.
16:58Yeah, your feelings are perfectly natural, buddy.
17:01Okay.
17:02Here's what happened.
17:05And then I proceeded to waste a half hour of those bastards' lives, telling them about
17:09this dream I had where I ate dinner with my top five favorite architects throughout history.
17:13And then, at the end of the meal, Frank Gary slides the check over to I Am Pay, and he
17:18says,
17:18Buddy, tonight, your name is I Am Paying.
17:24Buckminster Fuller almost did a spit take.
17:28And then I woke up.
17:31So that's it?
17:33No other dreams?
17:36Nothing confusing or erotic?
17:39Nope.
17:41Okay, how about this?
17:43Ted, you know how at some point in the future, machines will rise up against us?
17:46Sure.
17:46Okay, so the machines, they've killed everybody.
17:50And all that's left is you, me, and Barty.
17:57Which one of us would you, like, get with?
18:05And, um, why do I have to get with one of you?
18:09The machines are forcing you.
18:11They want to watch.
18:12That's just how they get down.
18:14Huh, that's, uh, that's a, that's a tough one.
18:17I guess it would have to be...
18:23Holly!
18:25Robin told me what you guys did, that's why I made up the gay dreams thing.
18:28Uh, guys, this is Holly.
18:30Hi.
18:31And, uh, I didn't wait your precious three days to call her.
18:34I knew where she worked, so I tracked her down.
18:36Um, let me ask you, did I call you too soon?
18:38I loved that he called me right away.
18:40I found it very romantic.
18:42And by the way, I don't sit around my apartment reading architecture magazines in my old cheerleader uniform.
18:48I do that completely naked.
18:55So, uh, Holly and I are going out to dinner.
18:57I'll meet you up front.
18:58Okay.
19:01I'm sorry, buddy.
19:02We were just trying to help you.
19:04And also, it was really fun.
19:09I don't need your help, okay?
19:10I can take care of myself.
19:13And yeah, maybe, maybe there are some girls who wouldn't like it that I called them right away or said
19:18things too soon.
19:19But guess what?
19:20Those aren't the right girls for me.
19:22Maybe the right girl is the one who loves that I do those things.
19:25Because that's just who I am.
19:28And I'm not going to change because of some stupid three days rule.
19:33Oh, and, um, Holly spells her name with an I.
19:39So I had proven that the three days rule was wrong.
19:42And I was out to dinner with a pretty girl.
19:44And until right now, I've never told anyone the truth about what happened on that date.
19:48That's so funny.
19:50I love indie music too.
19:51We should get married.
19:53Ha ha.
19:54Just kidding.
19:55Or am I?
19:57Ha ha.
19:57Just kidding again.
19:59That's it.
20:00We're totally going to Brazil together.
20:01And I went to my doctor this morning, and he said it is all cleared up, so I'm good to
20:05go.
20:06I think I'm in love with you, Ted.
20:08In the end, I didn't need to wait three days.
20:10But Holly really, really did.
20:13Like a lot of rules, there are times to follow them and times to not.
20:17But I will tell you this.
20:19When I got your mother's number, I called her right away.
20:28Stay down.
20:29Hey, fellas.
20:30Stan, aren't you working?
20:31Took the night off.
20:32That's great.
20:33We can all hang out.
20:34Yeah.
20:34Can.
20:35Got a date.
20:36You ready, baby?
20:37Yeah.
20:38What the?
20:39Wait, wait.
20:40Couldn't you guys just stay here and do your date with us?
20:43Yeah.
20:44It'll be fun.
20:45Look, I'm laughing.
20:47It's fun here.
20:48You like magic?
20:50Fellas, it's time we said goodbye.
20:52I mean, we shared a very special afternoon together, and that's something I'll always cherish.
20:57I'll never forget you guys.
21:00Do you even know their names?
21:01No idea.
21:02Is the tall one Ted?
21:03No, that's Marshall.
21:04He's married to Lily.
21:05You like checking with me?
21:06Oh, yeah.
21:06Oh, yeah.
21:37You
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