- 20 minutes ago
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:25It has recently come to my attention that
00:27I may never again have power over another human being.
00:36My students who once fell over themselves to impress me
00:42now consider my teachings out of touch.
00:52My daughter, who used to worship me,
00:55now finds my entire personhood rather useless.
01:01And while it may be possible that a man might make a concession for me,
01:06I may not be the cause of a spontaneous erection ever again.
01:13As an older woman, truly what is more embarrassing,
01:16I will have lost the ability to captivate.
01:32I find this very sad.
01:35Don't you?
01:38What the fuck? What the...
01:42Sorry.
01:56We're making a harvest salad for the faculty retreat.
02:00It'll be my 30th year at the college,
02:04and thus will be my 30th faculty retreat.
02:09But...
02:09I came in utero.
02:12So...
02:14It's a real fuck you salad.
02:16The kind that makes everyone a bit embarrassed about what they brought.
02:19Yeah, just not.
02:20Just not?
02:20Yeah.
02:23There you go.
02:48There you go.
02:50There's a bit of a sex scandal.
02:53Liaisons between a professor and his students.
03:01And as luck would have it,
03:04the professor in question happens to be my husband.
03:11Okay.
03:12And the Title IX situation.
03:15Andre, you have an update?
03:19Okay.
03:20Without beating around the bush.
03:23The number of accusers has risen to six.
03:26Six young women.
03:27Well, they're not as young anymore.
03:29And the number of signatures on the petition demanding for John's removal is...
03:34Wow.
03:35Over 1,000 with alumni support.
03:37What?
03:38When I was in college, I wanted to fuck all my professors.
03:42Old, young, male, female, but...
03:45I was too timid.
03:47As George Bernard Shaw once said,
03:51a firm ass is wasted on the young.
03:56Here we are.
03:59Did I tell you once I walked into his office ages ago and boom,
04:04there was a girl with her bosom all over his face like...
04:08What's that called again?
04:09Being a sexual predator?
04:11It was a different time.
04:12Was it?
04:13Sweetie.
04:14Was it now?
04:14No.
04:15It was different.
04:16Guys, let's not say...
04:17Oh, waterboarding.
04:18No, it was not waterboarding.
04:19I think motorboarding is the correct term.
04:21What? No.
04:22It's motorboarding.
04:23I'm looking it up.
04:24Motorboarding.
04:25All one word.
04:25Folks, let's just nod.
04:30Okay.
04:31Let's go in.
04:34Jaw suspension will remain in effect until the hearing.
04:37Date TBD.
04:38There's a report being assembled.
04:41But I want to congratulate David on stepping in as our chair so quickly.
04:46You're doing super.
04:48That's all for David.
04:49Go David.
04:50Motorboating is the act of pushing one's face in between two ample breasts
04:54and rocking one's head side to side very rapidly while making a vigorous brrr sound.
05:01Oh.
05:02I present to you.
05:04Academia.
05:05Okay.
05:05There might be something in the...
05:06Oh, my friends.
05:06I'm so sorry.
05:07I had the wrong time.
05:09I can't believe it.
05:10We were just moving on.
05:11Carry on.
05:12Um, David, is there an extra chair or a...
05:15Hey.
05:16Excuse me.
05:18What?
05:19I forget.
05:20Have you met?
05:21Vladimir Vladinsky?
05:22Oh.
05:24Our, our new, um, assistant professor?
05:28Uh, no.
05:29No, we have not, uh, met.
05:32Please, sit.
05:33Oh.
05:34I'm fine.
05:35Well, I need to stand for my back.
05:36Plus, seniority.
05:39Well, I'll pretend you didn't say that last part, but, uh...
05:43Okay.
05:44And moving on.
05:46I meant from an employment standpoint.
05:48Oh, I'm joking.
05:49Okay.
05:49We still need two more volunteers for the Meckelbergs.
05:53How are your groceries?
05:54Oh.
05:55This is really good.
05:55Put away.
05:57Page six.
05:57Nice.
05:58The values of our English department.
06:00Be respectful.
06:01Bad luck to leave her back on the floor.
06:05Be concise.
06:06Maintain confidentiality.
06:08Engage constructively.
06:10Maintain perspectives.
06:11Any questions?
06:13The more you say.
06:23The more you say.
06:25Oh, they went crazy for my salad.
06:28Devoured it, so, uh...
06:30Ooh!
06:31David's Frito Pie.
06:34Do you want some?
06:35I'm no-go on gluten, unfortunately.
06:38Do you suffer from celiacs?
06:40My son's friend suffers from celiacs.
06:42Uh, more like body dysmorphia.
06:47Thank you again for the chair.
06:49Oh, it's my pleasure.
06:50They say sitting kills.
06:52Oh, so I've heard.
06:53Have you tried one of those standing desks?
06:56No, but I should.
06:57Shouldn't I?
06:57I don't know.
06:58Should you?
06:59Might be good for my quads.
07:00Oh.
07:01Uh-huh.
07:02Uh-huh.
07:03Um...
07:04How are you adjusting to life in the countryside?
07:07To be honest, I'm really struggling.
07:10Oh, my God.
07:12Oh, hey.
07:14Oh, my God.
07:15Uh...
07:15Hi, hi, hi.
07:17I'm Cynthia.
07:18Oh, you're teaching for us, too, right?
07:20Yeah.
07:20You've got one class.
07:22Hi.
07:22Uh, I fucking love your novel.
07:24Truly fucking formative.
07:26I've been so excited to meet you.
07:28Oh, well, I'm a big disappointment.
07:31Fun.
07:32Me, too.
07:33Sorry, I would have been here sooner, but our daughter defecated inside of her clothing.
07:38Oh, no.
07:40I've been telling him that he has to read your book.
07:42Well, I haven't read his book yet, so we're even.
07:45Uh, it's not as good as yours.
07:46Oh.
07:47Uh, thank you.
07:48Well, why don't you come over for cocktails sometime this week, and we can swap copies.
07:53Mm-hmm.
07:53Both of you.
07:54Oh, yeah.
07:55Yeah, I don't drink, but he loves to when I'm not around.
07:58Well, we don't have to drink.
08:00Oh, no, no, no.
08:00I, I very much, I want him to drink.
08:02It's, uh, it's good for him.
08:04Yeah.
08:05Oops.
08:05Oh, sorry.
08:06Sorry.
08:07May I borrow these two for one moment?
08:08Oh, yes.
08:09I'll send you an email.
08:10Okay.
08:10Yeah.
08:11Since Vladimir's full-time, uh, this will affect him more than you.
08:14There's just some 401k paperwork.
08:18I'm just gonna show you.
08:19It's really unfair.
08:21It's a terrible position to be in, I feel so sad.
08:25I'm unconscionable that she hasn't said anything about it yet.
08:28But, you know, I guess it's not surprising.
08:33I'm worried about this.
08:34I'm worried about this.
08:47I have a question.
08:48I might have an answer?
08:49Did you actually see the report?
08:53Sure did.
08:55Will you send it to me?
08:59Please?
09:01Okay.
09:03Thanks.
09:04Oh, joy.
09:35Scandalous.
09:36Scandalous.
09:52It's very hard for me to understand how...
09:54Did you salt these?
09:56Yes.
09:58Consensual affairs that were fun.
10:01Not despite the power dynamic, but because of the power dynamic,
10:06could be thought of as hurtful or damaging after the fact.
10:10You put something else on them?
10:11Human.
10:12Oh, fuck.
10:14As a fellow female, I'm a little offended.
10:19I want to tell these women that when they're sad,
10:22it's probably not because of the sex they had
10:24and more because they spend too much time on the internet
10:27wondering what people think about them.
10:30Fresh meats.
10:32Here we go.
10:42To be clear, John and I have always had an arrangement.
10:46The kids today would call it an open marriage,
10:48but without all the awful communication.
10:51Did they read my letter?
10:52It didn't come up.
10:54Do you think you could deal with the compost before next Sunday?
10:56No!
10:57Move it along, buddy!
10:59They need to read the letter.
11:00It's been ten years since I even looked at a co-ed.
11:03Are we in the 1960s?
11:05Why are you calling them co-eds?
11:07Oh, and they're setting a date for the hearing.
11:09Good, because I never broke the rules.
11:12Technically.
11:13Exactly.
11:15Can you bring me a towel, please?
11:21You didn't answer.
11:23Can you deal with the compost before next Sunday?
11:26Maybe.
11:27Did you meet the new professors?
11:28Our replacements?
11:30They're not our replacements.
11:31Let's hope.
11:33Anyway, yes, I met them.
11:35They are young and fresh-faced and full of promise.
11:38We'll beat that at them.
11:39Vlad, the husband.
11:41He's coming over for cocktails next Sunday.
11:43I can get a better read.
11:44Well, Sid's here.
11:45Oh, damn it.
11:47Okay, I'll reschedule.
11:50When Sid comes?
11:51Mm-hmm.
11:52With this whole thing, let's not say anything to her.
11:56Look, our daughter doesn't need to know about this whole thing.
11:59For dinner on Saturday, Salmon.
12:03Yeah, I'll do it on the grill.
12:05Mm-hmm.
12:05I'll get some fresh stuff from the farm stand.
12:07We can use my lettuce.
12:08It's almost ready to pick.
12:09Sure.
12:11And make some pasta or something.
12:13I can't eat just fish and veggies.
12:15I'll waste away.
12:15I'm considering giving up gluten.
12:19Please don't.
12:21Why not?
12:26I don't want to talk to Sid about it.
12:33I know this hasn't been easy for you.
12:36Mm-hmm.
12:37I appreciate what you're doing.
12:39That's all I'm saying.
12:40Mm.
12:42It's such sentiment.
12:43Seriously.
12:44Look, as far as I'm concerned, I'm just doing what I've always done.
12:49Get it hot.
12:52Get it hot.
12:52Get it hot like Papa John.
12:54Make a good day.
12:55Good morning.
12:55For years now, John and I have been a golden couple on campus.
12:59Get it hot like Papa John.
13:02We, the poetry scholar and charismatic chair.
13:06And me, the desperately sought-after professor of creative writing
13:10and passionate instructor of the most popular class in the department.
13:18What's up, bitches?
13:21Women in American fiction.
13:23A bit broad, don't you think?
13:28That was a pun.
13:37Two cappuccinos.
13:39Did you get soy?
13:41Soy.
13:42Perfect.
13:43Dairy.
13:44So, um, we were talking before.
13:49Mm-hmm.
13:49And we did want to kind of say something.
13:53Oh, yes.
13:54That's what I want.
13:55Please.
13:56Sorry.
13:57You're fine.
13:59Am I?
14:00Um, we just wanted to, um, offer that you, uh, don't have to do the whole supportive wife thing.
14:13Wow.
14:15Okay.
14:17Say more?
14:18Uh, like, like we just think you're this hot, brilliant lady.
14:24Like, like we think you're really hot.
14:27Yeah.
14:28And, um, we just think you don't have to, like, stand by your man.
14:37My dear, dear friends, I am so flattered by your concern.
14:57This man and I once had an affair.
15:00In meetings, if I was wearing the right pair of pants, I could make myself orgasm just by looking at
15:07his profile.
15:09Time can make things simpler, if you know what I mean.
15:13Ready for action?
15:15Just about.
15:16Hey.
15:17Actually, um, I spoke to a group of students who said you met today.
15:22Mm-hmm.
15:23Um, I just am actually concerned about them.
15:25Like, they said they were really anxious talking to you.
15:29Okay.
15:30Just because, like, some, like, survivors are often not believed by enablers who are often older women.
15:37David.
15:38So I just think we need to be, like, really thoughtful of what we're putting the students through.
15:42Sorry.
15:42Were they anxious to speak to me?
15:44Or were they anxious after they spoke to me?
15:46I didn't get confirmation on that.
15:48When I hear anxious, that's, like, noteworthy.
15:52Okay.
15:53Okay, Flo, I know you're new.
15:54I've been here for eight years.
15:55So maybe you don't know how things work.
15:57But I'm gonna request that you not speak to me about this in unofficial ways for perhaps ever.
16:02Sorry.
16:03Is that okay?
16:04And David, do you think you could eat the snack food products that literally fell on the floor any louder?
16:09Hi.
16:10Hi.
16:11Hi.
16:12Ready for action?
16:13We'll see.
16:14Where do they put you?
16:16Upstairs.
16:16I got them in 406.
16:18Oh, my old office.
16:20Oh.
16:21That's why the vibes are so good.
16:33Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt.
16:35Oh, no.
16:36No.
16:37An interruption was exactly what we needed.
16:42Okay.
16:56Mom!
16:58Hi!
17:05You smell good.
17:07Let me look at you.
17:08Oh, you look so cool.
17:10Where's Alexis?
17:11She's coming tomorrow.
17:12On the train?
17:13She bought a car.
17:15How grown up?
17:16She's 35.
17:17You were 35.
17:18I was, like, eight.
17:18You had tenure.
17:19And now you're 27, and I just turned 40.
17:22It's incredible.
17:23Age jokes are lame, Mom.
17:27So, Alexis is starting to go home.
17:29I just want to talk about having a kid.
17:32Oh.
17:33Yeah.
17:34Okay.
17:35I mean, you're awfully young.
17:37I'm, like, the same age as you were.
17:39But that was a different time.
17:40Alexis is already a geriatric pregnancy.
17:43Right.
17:43But for you?
17:44No, I know.
17:45In New York, I'd be like a teen mom.
17:47Might be kind of hot.
17:48A child is serious.
17:49I know.
17:50I was joking.
17:50Just because your partner wants something doesn't mean it's right for you.
17:54Mom?
17:54I like Alexis.
17:55I love Alexis.
17:57Please, just stop talking.
17:57I just don't think you should let her steamroll you.
18:00She's not steamrolling me.
18:01We're just talking about it.
18:02Why are you-
18:03I'm still paying your student loans, Jane.
18:06Okay, Mom.
18:06Oh, my God.
18:07I'm so sorry I told you.
18:08Next time I'm just not going to tell you anything.
18:09So that is awesome for our relationship.
18:12Thank you, Mom.
18:13Oh, listen, honey.
18:14I'm sorry.
18:15I'm stressed.
18:16You're fine.
18:17Please don't tell me I'm fine.
18:20You want to stop at the bakery with me?
18:23Can you just drop me off, please?
18:27...
18:39a former student I had to fail.
18:53May I get a bouche de Noël?
18:56We only have the 12-inch.
18:57Oh, perfect.
18:59It's my daughter's favorite.
19:01She'll...
19:03She didn't come to class, and she didn't do the work.
19:06It wasn't personal.
19:11May I pay now?
19:12Can I box it up first, please?
19:14Of course. Take your time.
19:21Tap your card.
19:28Oh, I'm sorry.
19:30You're fine.
19:31Putting everything aside, I was like, where is your self-respect?
19:38It's like Greek theater. It's the Oris Diet.
19:40No, it's not.
19:42It's a family drama where every action sets off a consequence that then has to be reckoned with.
19:47What's more Greek?
19:49Caitlin is Clytemnestra. Chloe is Electra.
19:52We're the Furies.
19:53This is an amazing conversation.
19:54Imagine growing up with them.
19:56I love pop culture. Yay, pop culture.
19:58But it is not a Greek tragedy.
20:00I mean, the whole point of tragedy is taking something unwieldy and submitting it to a structure.
20:05Which is exactly what they're doing with the Kardashians.
20:07No, John. Something that is open-ended cannot be compared to a Greek tragedy.
20:10They're ontologically and phenomenologically opposed.
20:13Don't talk dirty to me.
20:14The definition of tragedy is a single, complete, and whole action.
20:18Look, here's the thing. Your mother cannot grasp evolving forms.
20:21What?
20:21Yeah. She's never been an independent thinker. Never been her strength.
20:24She likes stuff to be time-tested so that she doesn't have to actively evaluate it.
20:28Please stop.
20:29She wants everything to be Mr. Winstow, Lady Parsons, glove. How scandalous.
20:34Stalking longed for Lily, but she died making hats, you know.
20:37His name is Selden. Why are you making fun of me?
20:40She's just stuck up there in her ivory tower.
20:41Well, at least I'm in the tower, John. At least I'm inside the tower.
20:44Unlike you, who is not in the tower.
20:47Who is no longer allowed in the fucking tower because you took little girls into the tower.
20:52Hey, hey.
20:53What?
20:53Your father is suspended from teaching because he had sex with students.
20:58And I have to deal with all of his mess.
20:59People judging me, talking about me, students feeling anxious.
21:04And you can sit there and mock me.
21:07Guys.
21:08What do you have to deal with?
21:09You just want me to hang around long enough to get my pension and get the fuck out of your
21:12life.
21:12What's happening?
21:13Oh, that's right. That's correct, John.
21:15I've spent 30 years living with you and working with you.
21:18And all I want on this whole blessed earth is to be alone.
21:22But now you're going to lose your pension because you got motorboated by a 21-year-old communications major.
21:29And I'm going to be stuck with you walking around my house with your low-slung balls.
21:34Mom, stop.
21:34Hanging out of your goddamn shorts for the rest of my life.
21:36Stop.
21:39Oh, my God.
21:41I'm so sorry.
21:43Sweetie.
21:44It's, it's, it's not that bad.
21:47Babe, babe, babe, take a breath.
21:47I knew about it.
21:49You knew about it?
21:50Well, I mean, not specifics, but...
21:53We had an open marriage.
21:54Mom, what the fuck?
21:56What?
21:57I'm an only child, Ma.
21:58Ma?
21:59There were three of us in the house.
22:01And you just keep something like that from me?
22:04We, we talked about telling you.
22:06And you knew.
22:06He was fucking stooped.
22:07Hey, hey.
22:08I vaguely knew.
22:08It was not against the rules.
22:10You know who else vaguely knew something bad was happening?
22:12The freaking Germans in World War II.
22:14That is not an appropriate comparison.
22:17I'm leaving.
22:18But I bought a bouche de Noël.
22:19I'll take it to go.
22:20But I wanted some.
22:21Then fucking keep it!
22:23Just leave her a slice.
22:25Sid.
22:26Sid, honey, let's talk about this.
22:30Did you get the cake?
22:32Did you leave me a piece?
22:36Missy!
22:37Here we go.
22:38This is unacceptable behavior.
22:41This is a $48 cake.
22:59Just get out of here!
23:03This is my house, too.
23:04Find somewhere else to sleep tonight, John.
23:06Please.
23:06I'm serious.
23:07I'm done.
23:07It's over.
23:08No more supportive wife.
23:09No more staying in the course.
23:10It's over.
23:11I'm done.
23:12Calm down.
23:13Get the fuck out of here!
23:16Are you kidding me?
23:17Get out of here!
23:18Fucking maniac.
23:19Fine.
23:38Do you believe the novel is still relevant in our cultural discourse?
23:42I guess I often think about what Vladimir Nabokov said in an interview.
23:48He said something like, um, I don't wish to touch hearts.
23:52He just wanted me to be an engineer.
23:54So tell us what's next for you.
23:57I'm teaching, actually.
23:58And, uh, yes, as you said, my wife is also a writer.
24:03We met in Iowa.
24:04And, yes, there are huge benefits to that because we both understand the process.
24:08But, of course, with a young child, it also makes it really fucking hard.
24:33I guess how my wife is soft.
24:43If I can't have power, can I at least be free from other people's trauma?
24:52Free from their behavior, free from their needs and their desires.
25:04Is that selfish?
25:07I've just come to the time in my life when
25:13I don't want to have to think about anyone else.
25:36Is this still a good time?
25:42She is benediction
25:46She is addicted today
25:50She is the root connection
25:55She is connecting with hate
26:00Here I go and I don't know why
26:03I feel so ceaselessly
26:08Could it be he's taking over me?
26:16I'm dancing bad but
26:20Heading for a spin
26:24Some strange music draws me in
26:28Makes me come on
26:31Like some heroin
26:33Like some heroin
26:34I'm laughing
26:45We're起arrive
26:46brings the suchen
26:47Heading for a movies
26:47Wedding for a game
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